Women are confusing

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Sounds like she's willing to give you another go. Ask her for a coffee or drink after the lecture next time.

If you don't know someone, shyness almost always comes across as arrogance, so take it mellow this time.

Good Luck!

Sometimes people talk to each other just to talk, I do this all the time. I love the sound of my own voice

She may like talking to you! OMG!

If want to have a go at her, have a go. If she says no, such is life.

But sitting here and thinking about it does nothing

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I must have missed the part where she spurned your advances

Oh right that parts in your head

Make her laugh ask her out

Or come back here in two weeks and ask the same bloody question

Talk about what a git the professor is, or the class, or the weather. Smile a bit, use your hands

IDK what you're looking for in the forum, No one can give you a clear cut answer as to how she veiws you nor can we give you an answer about what will happen

She on the other hand is a real live woman who has found you good enough to intiate conversation with

This could lead to a rousing round of intercourse or nothing or something in between

But I can gaurngoddamntee you what happens next will have nothing to do with what we tell you, wether we stroke or hurt your ego. And it certainly will have nothing to do with us extracting elementary school clues on wether she likes you or not

You clearly have interest

Act on it

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Originally Posted by Strike For The South

I must have missed the part where she spurned your advances

Oh right that parts in your head

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You see, I think that is what he is looking for here, so stop telling him not to post here, he may have (and I don't mean any offense with that, I probably made the same mistake) never found out that this was only in his head without your help.

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Women are not confusing...they are like nuclear physics...where am I going with this?

But don't bother wearing a condom. They're so, like, unneccesary.

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Originally Posted by Rhyfelwyr

Her spurning my advances isn't in my head, it's in the OP... I asked for her number, and she said "sorry but there's no point because I'm getting a new mobile number in a few weeks". The consensus when I posted that here in a past thread was that was a polite way of saying no, and that's how I took it.

Until this happened...

Which is why I am confused...

Anyway what's so bad about posting a thread asking about it, who doesn't wonder about this sort of stuff? I have no experience in this area, so...

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How long has it been? Maybe she really didnt have a phone. You know, people dont always lie.

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Originally Posted by Motep

How long has it been? Maybe she really didnt have a phone. You know, people dont always lie.

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Well there was a couple of weeks after that when I never spoke to her in class (she was sitting elsewhere, but it was a new class so it's not like we were sitting together before), but now she starts sitting next to me and talking to me a couple of weeks later.

Shes talking to you, just ask her.

If she says no, either just keep talking, or end the conversation awkwardly and never talk to her again.

Hehehe, the women I've gotten to really know in my life admit that sometimes they don't understand their reasons and/or thought processes sometimes either. Which means we don't stand a chance of figuring it out. All ya can do is ask her. What's the worst that can happen? No ain't the end of the world. You'll know where you stand and have no regrets over missing that chance.

I'm with you all the way there Hosakawa Tito, I've been married twice, I have five grand-daughters and I still don't understand them. As you say, when the subject is broached they don't understand themselves either! Must be a womb thing.

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Or come back here in two weeks and ask the same bloody question

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*chuckle*

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Originally Posted by Vuk

Women are not confusing...they are like nuclear physics...where am I going with this?

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well, nuclear physics are much more understandable

even I can't fully understand my own twin sister, but at least she can help if I have problems with another girls.

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Originally Posted by Rhyfelwyr

Her spurning my advances isn't in my head, it's in the OP... I asked for her number, and she said "sorry but there's no point because I'm getting a new mobile number in a few weeks". The consensus when I posted that here in a past thread was that was a polite way of saying no, and that's how I took it.

Until this happened...

Which is why I am confused...

Anyway what's so bad about posting a thread asking about it, who doesn't wonder about this sort of stuff? I have no experience in this area, so...

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Hmmmm.

1. You're thinking too much.

2. she obviously has some sort of interest in her.

3. You seem to want her, so if try being just friends, it won't work.

4. If you don't ask her out you're obviously going to obsess.

So.....

Next time you see her make small talk at the start of the lecture, or just after, then say:

"Would like to go out some time, maybe dinner?"

She'll either say yes or no, if she say's yes ask for her number, maybe try to get her to agree to an evening later in the week.

If she ums and arss she's either not interested, or is as worried as you are - so try to be relaxed about it.

have you had class again?

Well have you? :inquisitive:

:daisy:

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You asked, time passed and now she is talking to you.

You ask on monday, or there will be consequences.

As always, you are dealing with humans. Your gut feeling is good to tell you how to behave properly, but it can be terrible to intepret the behaviour and expressions of others (interpretation tends to be self-centered, for instance). You'll have to use logic in order to fully master the latter (and it may help with the former).

What does it mean for you to sit down and chat to somebody? What range of reasons would you have? I'm sure you could come up with pretty different reasons. That's a good starting point if you want to come up with theoretical solutions, though of course empiricism is needed for the actual reality. And that's what you are interested in here.

You neglected to tell us if she is smoking hot. If this is just a girl - why not just be a friend? She might be looking for one.
I have had girls making a point of sitting next to me in class which led to nothing but friendship. During High School There was Iris René and Beate - People even thought we were a couple (Iris René). In Uni there was this Indonesian girl Tamara.

You should gauge her with a few conversation topics.
Suggestions:

• There is this Norwegian dude I know that totally refutes Sola Scriptura... what is that all about?
• There is this Texan I know that thinks I should just grab you and kiss you long and hard ... but I am just too shy.

Well nothing happened, I was flanked by people on both sides before she came in so she couldn't have sat next to me, and she left quite quickly at the end. Meh.

Cruel fate! Coincidence is a relative of fate. The function together on similar wave lenghts.

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Originally Posted by Rhyfelwyr

Well nothing happened, I was flanked by people on both sides before she came in so she couldn't have sat next to me, and she left quite quickly at the end. Meh.

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God forbid you seek her out

If we ever meet IRL I'm going to hug you until you stop breathing

~:)

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Originally Posted by Strike For The South

God forbid you seek her out

If we ever meet IRL I'm going to hug you until you stop breathing

~:)

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Well I don't want to come accross as creepy.

Maybe she really didn't have a phone. Maybe she leaves quickly after class because she has another class to get to? Or, she doesn't like the class and just wants to get out ASAP. Maybe she has to pee.

The point is, you'll never know. Just ask her and be ready to deal with a rejection if that's what she does. Sure, some women act crazy and unpredictable. On the flip side, I think both sexes read way too much into the actions of the people they're interested in.

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Originally Posted by Scienter

On the flip side, I think both sexes read way too much into the actions of the people they're interested in.

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Most likely. I guess that it helps in the initial phase when it comes to make people bond - more courage to seek contact if you think they're interested in you. :shrug:

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Originally Posted by Rhyfelwyr

Another update.

So she sat next to me at class again, and starting talking to me etc. Then at the end she went the long way round to go through the same exit as me (the desks were arranged strangely), so I started talking to her, and eventually we got to her car, so we continued talking for a while (just about the Uni course, where we work etc).

I thought about asking for her number again, but in the end I just settled for asking if she would be going to the revision session next week (the last time the class meets), and she said she would. She seemed like she was wanting to hang around and talk, and so eventually we just smiled and said OK see you next week.

Maybe I should have asked for her number but at least its looks like it's all set up for me to next week...

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Good for you.

you should not end this up.Think!you're lucky that a women is actually talking to you,and becoming friends.:book:

This does not happen with many males(in my book:book:)

Dont end this,you have already gone to great lentghs for her friendship.Now she will do the same to you.

Maybe you could end up falling in love or I don't knw:book:

But be friends with her.don't break the friendship(Belive me,when you break firendship with women,its never good for you):book:

And be her best firend.

who's knows ?:book:

baby steps are good SFTS says as blood vessels begin to pop

this thread almost slipped off the page

Perish the thought

My only advice would be: if your only options are a chance of love/sex/fun or the fear of rejection, then the choice should be fairly obvious, because death is coming.

STOP PLAYING HARD TO GET AND BOINK HER ALREADY.

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Originally Posted by Psychonaut

My only advice would be: if your only options are a chance of love/sex/fun or the fear of rejection, then the choice should be fairly obvious, because death is coming.

STOP PLAYING HARD TO GET AND BOINK HER ALREADY.

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+!1

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Originally Posted by Strike For The South

this thread almost slipped off the page

Perish the thought

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:laugh4:

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Originally Posted by Rhyfelwyr

Remember, I directly went and asked for her number a few weeks ago, and she said NO (or in all likelihood meant to politely say no).

So I deliberately just backed right off, told myself to just get over it because I didn't want to seem like a creep. But then it is her that initiates things again.

I guess I probably should have asked for her number again. But the above reason put me off a bit. Still, surely we made it clear we are both still interested in each other, especially when we checked to see we would both be going to the class next week (with it being the last one)?

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Maybe she had a creepy boyfriend before, sending all sorts of unwanted texts or calls. She just don't want that again. Maybe that's why she needed a new phone. You should have just given her your number, to call when ever. She can hide her number when calling you...

Don't retry on the number thing. She'll give it provided things go fine. Just stay positive and interested.

Sounds like you're doing fine to me. Just keep talking to her, go with the flow and eventually you will get to hang out with her. Personally I don't like to ask for numbers right off the bat I usually talk to the person and build some sort of friendship first and I prefer if people do the same to me. So I don't think you need to worry about not getting her number yet.

Gah! Don't give me conflicting advice, I'm confused enough already!

I don't want the friendship zone, and I don't think thats what either of us are aiming for (and I don't think that's where it's going either), so I'm just going to stick with Strike and Pyscho and ask for her number.

There is a foolproof method of finding out if she is interested. Grab her and stick your tongue down her throat. If she doesn't slap you daft, you're in! :wink:

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Originally Posted by Rhyfelwyr

Gah! Don't give me conflicting advice, I'm confused enough already!

I don't want the friendship zone, and I don't think thats what either of us are aiming for (and I don't think that's where it's going either), so I'm just going to stick with Strike and Pyscho and ask for her number.

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Looks like the boy has some sand after all

Good on ya son

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Originally Posted by Rhyfelwyr

Gah! Don't give me conflicting advice, I'm confused enough already!

I don't want the friendship zone, and I don't think thats what either of us are aiming for (and I don't think that's where it's going either), so I'm just going to stick with Strike and Pyscho and ask for her number.

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During class ask her what she is doing after class, if she says nothing, suggest something. Why take her number and phone later when you could do something there and then?

The girl is already thinking about when he'll ask for the number again. I'd personally play "fine, I'd asked once, not doing it again" so as to own the upper hand of the relationship.

9 cents.

boom

Well you'll all hear in a few hours...

This maybe your only chance to ever find love

Don't muck it up!

https://img196.imageshack.us/img196/9532/happyfacev.png
Uploaded with ImageShack.us

Well she didn't even turn up to the class.

lol/fml

be cocky ;)

W-wha- 0_0

On second thought

Just kiss her

It will save you from writing novels

Real talk. Word.

Thank you for sharing your advice Upxl.

And please ignore the mean Texan and participate a bit more!

Wow, thanks for that advice upxl. You should post more, we don't bite you know!

But regarding one thing you said, I don't think she was playing hard to get by missing the class. Because it was in fact the last class of the term. Meaning I won't see her again for over a month until the exam.

I'm just staying positive and not letting it bother me, although I'm getting tired of making myself feel like that. I guess I can't complain, I probably messed her around more in the past when it was her that took the initiative... not deliberately, just because I'm an idiot. So I guess I deserve it. :shrug:

Just a word from someone who has been on the receiving end of this type of behavior. It doesn't always work. In fact, it can be pretty repellant. I'm not going all feminist rage here, despite my posts in the backroom. I'm just speaking from my own experiences and those of people I know.

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Originally Posted by Upxl

5-Check her out, give small hints that she has to convince you she’s worth dating.
When she speaks look at her like you’re evaluating what she’s said and how she acts.
In your mind you know she wants to go out with you because your just that cool, smart kind a guy any girl is lucky to have. But what do you think of her?Is she worth the “trouble”?
You know she is ofcours but that doesn’t mean she has to know about it,correct?

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If someone treated me in the manner described above, it would be a giant turn off. If a guy made me think that I wasn't worth his time, and that I needed to convince him that I'm worth it, he would come across as douchey. It comes across as less than genuine and would probably make me lose interest, or at least reconsider.

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Originally Posted by Upxl

6- be cocky, little arrogant, make little jokes about her looks or something else superficial but don’t overdo it.

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Is this what pick up artists refer to as "negging?" This is extremely unattractive. If someone told me, for example, that "You look good, for your age" or some such, I would pretty much never give them my number or go out with them. I would either assume that the guy was extremely lacking in social skills, or deliberately insulting me. This is not something you do to someone you don't know well. Any woman with an ounce of self esteem won't fall for this.


Also, arrogance/cockiness can be pretty unattractive.

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Originally Posted by Upxl

7-A woman always chooses the guy,but once in the dating zone a strong self confident male has the initiative. You choose when you’ll hug,kiss and all that other fine stuff lady’s provide so well.This is our power, here we thrive.Remember this,once dating you sir are in command.

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Confidence is attractive, arrogance is a red flag. And confidence doesn't mean "control."

Thanks Husar maybe I will and don’t worry, the mean Texan is only scary at first sight, like some 6 years ago.

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Originally Posted by Upxl

Scienter, you're focusing on the negative.
But I know and this wouldn’t be the first time I had this discussion with a woman.But there’s a difference between common sense and attraction, what you think and what you feel.
Control in this matter is an illusion.Blame it on basic raw animal instinct with a little bit of evolution mixed in.
It’s a mind game that works on many levels. And can be pretty fun when you know a little bit of the rules.

But nobody likes to have his or here gender simplified in this manner.
If it makes you feel any better men are much much more superficial.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aW6CoU2YtOU

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I think I understand where you're coming from. My main beef is with #6. You're not the first person I've heard suggest this as a good approach for attracting women. Some are more brash about it and the stuff they think is good to say to someone is pretty appalling. If I was attracted (physically) to a guy and he came up and started making jokes about my appearance, it would come across as an insult, and would diminish my attraction to him or kill it outright. I've been in this situation. There's a difference between jokingly giving me a hard time because I like Star Trek (totally acceptable IMO because it's almost expected) and joking about my physical appearance or my intelligence. One is good natured and the other, well, isn't. :shrug:

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Originally Posted by Upxl

@ Rhyfelwyr: my friend thinks she’s obviously attracted to you and will make the initiative herself when she’s ready.
Your game mate, enjoy! :2thumbsup:

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But why then would she not turn up when its the last class? That means the only time I will see her is at the exam which is over a month away.

I really thought all the right signs were there as well... bah! I refer once again to the thread title...

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Originally Posted by Scienter

One is good natured and the other, well, isn't. :shrug:

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True,true. :yes:
Like I said:Delicate.

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Originally Posted by Rhyfelwyr

But why then would she not turn up when its the last class? That means the only time I will see her is at the exam which is over a month away.

I really thought all the right signs were there as well... bah! I refer once again to the thread title...

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Come on Rhyf...
Its exam time. The chick needs to study and pass/excel it. She doesn't have time to a time-consuming, storming, passionate relationship until after the exam.
Expect her to invite you out when the exam is over.

I have had girlfriends putting our relationship on "hold" during exams. Frustrating... but the one I am thinking of became a physics major/scientist.

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Originally Posted by Sigurd

Come on Rhyf...
Its exam time. The chick needs to study and pass/excel it. She doesn't have time to a time-consuming, storming, passionate relationship until after the exam.
Expect her to invite you out when the exam is over.

I have had girlfriends putting our relationship on "hold" during exams. Frustrating... but the one I am thinking of became a physics major/scientist.

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Absolutely, and falling in love really bad during exam time is a really bad thing even if falling in love in general is a very good thing.
In the end it's about bringing both to a successful conclusion I think and as such the exams may require some distance, if just for a while.

Listen to the wisdom of Sigurd. :bow:

idk though, one of the things we were talking about is how we don't even have much left to do in terms of Uni work/exams. Most of the stuff this year was coursework and its all done.

Well, I don't assume that each and every of her decisions revolves around you, at least not yet.

Also patience can pay off, there's no guarantee but so far it may not be worth clinging to her anyway, I mean how well do you know her?

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If I've learned anything, anything at all from the past 3 months about women, it is this.

Flattery (as long as you honestly mean it) will get you anywhere. Making her feel good will get you anywhere. Regardless of the situation.

Bugger, I’m actually losing sleep over this one.

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Originally Posted by Prussian to the Iron

Flattery (as long as you honestly mean it) will get you anywhere. Making her feel good will get you anywhere. Regardless of the situation.

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No.

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Originally Posted by Strike For The South

No.

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Yes. yes it will. You cannot fade on that. That is the essence of truth.

I mean, flattery is a nasty word, but it was the first word that came to mind.


heart-felt compliments to her, her personality, and her looks, will always warm her heart towards you. when I do it, it's not conciously, but I do do it, I can't deny.

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Originally Posted by Prussian to the Iron

Yes. yes it will. You cannot fade on that. That is the essence of truth.

I mean, flattery is a nasty word, but it was the first word that came to mind.


heart-felt compliments to her, her personality, and her looks, will always warm her heart towards you. when I do it, it's not conciously, but I do do it, I can't deny.

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Your advice is terrible

Stop giving it

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Originally Posted by Strike For The South

No.

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+1,

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Originally Posted by Strike For The South

Your advice is terrible

Stop giving it

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it works.

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Originally Posted by Prussian to the Iron

it works.

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In horrid B grade comidies maybe

So in hindsight, I think maybe you should've just waited a couple weeks and then asked her if she had gotten her new phone yet. But on the other hand, it was a pretty lame excuse, I mean a few weeks is actually sort of a long time, why couldn't she have given you her number and then given you the new one when she got a new phone? Maybe she was telling the truth, she just wasn't thinking things through all the way and she just blurted out "there's really no point...". I know I've done that before.

I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt. You never know when someone is telling the truth and when they are lying, the best thing you can do is have confidence in yourself and take what they say as the truth until they give you reason to believe otherwise.

It sounds like the girl is interested in you, and even if she's not you have a good opportunity to make friends with her so either way you win. The next time you see her you should definitely ask her out to dinner or something, maybe you can say it's to celebrate the end of the class or something :laugh4:

I hope my lame advice helps and it's not "friend zone" advice this time :sweatdrop:

There is no shame in complimenting someone you are fond of. If she is attactive and you say so, what is the harm in that? I fail to agree with those who say you should play the dominant role in a relationship and train your partner to follow you by a leash. Doesn't everyone like to be flattered, sinceridly, male or female?

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Originally Posted by JuJuBee

There is no shame in complimenting someone you are fond of. If she is attactive and you say so, what is the harm in that? I fail to agree with those who say you should play the dominant role in a relationship and train your partner to follow you by a leash. Doesn't everyone like to be flattered, sinceridly, male or female?

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Complimenzt/=/ using them as *point earners* to get women

She, like you, is a person Constant compliments come off as needy, insecure, and sappy

And I'm not neccesarily a fan of PUA or "negging" although some of it has merit

I am a fan of taking your balls out from under the sink though, Be asseritive and confident. Know what you want and take it

:beatnik2: We all have our own techniques I guess. I suppose I like to show respect and appreciation in the form of a compliment. :shrug:

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Originally Posted by JuJuBee

:beatnik2: We all have our own techniques I guess. I suppose I like to show respect and appreciation in the form of a compliment. :shrug:

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Showing affection through a compliment is fine, but meeting a girl and then showering her with sappy b grade cliches is stupid. Compliments should also come off as confident most boys come off as sniveling half men when they give a compliment in hopes the girl will bed him

This of course all stems from being comfortable in your own skin

I could write a book on the topic esp on this train wreck of a forum (when it comes to women) These threads are physically painful to read

I never said to propose marriage on the first date. But as the relationship develops, I see no problem with exposing oneself a bit. I've drawn quite a few women in with this 'gamble'. I grew to love them for it.

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Originally Posted by JuJuBee

I never said to propose marriage on the first date. But as the relationship develops, I see no problem with exposing oneself a bit. I've drawn quite a few women in with this 'gamble'. I grew to love them for it.

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Neither do I and I agree

Complimenting a woman to get here attention is ok AS LONG as it comes from a place of confidence and not neediness

Just by reading PIs posts I know exactly whats happening, the insecurity is palpable