Depression

[Papewaio]

Imagine yourself at your happiest (not pleasured, happiest).

In your daily life you are fit, have had plenty of sleep, are exercising regularly. You feel that what you do is important, that you contribute to your life, family and society. You move through each day with a purpose. You don't run or strut you glide and glow so brightly that you seem to be smiling even when you aren't. You have so many options and things to do and at the same time you know which needs to be done first, and then second and then third... You are a dynamo of happiness and motivation.

Now turn that upside down and inside out and you have depression. Depressed you can't see any options, there is no way out, it is black and you are at the bottom of a well in which you can't see any way out. You are so scared that nothing can get better that nothing must be better then here and now. You fear the blankness so much that eternal death looks a much rosier option. No known options in life remain, but there is the unknown option of death.

The irony is when you are depressed or better when you feel yourself on that very real slippery slope. It is just then when have have lost all motivation that you need to grab on and get motivated. To find that light, to change your life, to take back control and to see the big picture.

Everyone has a different way of sparking those epiphany moments. While depressed one forgets that you can change your own environment. It is at this time that changing the locale can be most important. Mine is hiking in the wilderness, or swimming deep in the ocean, or seeing those sunsets. Nature is generally a good way to make someone feel connected to the greater world. That's half the problem about depression is that you feel you have lost all worthwhile connections with the world, the other half is being so blinkered to realise that you can actually rebuild these connections. The other way is to show people in worse misery who need help. Go to town, take your girlfriend, watch a light hearted movie, tip every homeless person you see, walk an old lady across the road. Go and make other peoples day. Smile (double points for old people, half for Hare Krishna).

Be there for her, but don't place the responsibility for her happiness on your shoulders. Just show her the path and hopefully she can follow your lead.

Most important follow the advice of medical professionals.

[Andres]

As cliché as it may sound: be there for her. Take her out, make sure she goes somewhere on a regular basis.

Sports will do her good. Building up your stamina and your physical condition usually gives a boost to your self-confidence. Do fun things, that'll make her realise that life isn't that bad.

Listen to her and talk with her, but the subject shouldn't always be her problems. If she keeps going on about her problems for let's say an hour, try to change the subject to something different, preferably something funny.

Be careful that she doesn't drag you down. You have to show her that you enjoy life, that you are full of energy and that you care for her, alot.

You'll also have to find ways to motivate her to go out. Sitting at home or being lonely day after day is the worst she can do, so if she refuses to go out, don't hesitate to insist (no forcing her, just a gentle pushing).

Does she have other friends who know about her situation? Maybe you can ask them to help as well by taking her out, doing some fun stuff with her? No need to tell her about that, because some people tend to get more depressed if they feel that the outside world seems to confirm that they are indeed depressed.

If she has plenty of friends, maybe you can try organising some sort of (birthday?) party for her?

And be patient. Depressions can last for months, so be prepared to face this situation for a long while. The medication will help, but she'll need more then just some pills to recover from this disease.

Do you know her parents very well? Are they aware of what happened? Maybe you should try talking to them as well (never underestimate the power of good mother or father). If you're not sure that her parents are able to help her (they are divorcing and thus going through a difficult time themselves), then don't talk to the parents or do it discretely, i.e. without telling your friend, to avoid disappointments (e.g. you talk to the parents, but they don't seem to do get the message).

Give her something special every once in a while. Can be as simple as a postcard saying 'I love you' or some flowers.

Good luck, pever. Unfortunately, there's no passe-partout solution for this.

Be sure to talk about this with people in RL as well, like your own parents/best friend(s)/teacher(s).

[pevergreen]

Does she have other friends who know about her situation?

I mentioned it in part to her closest friend, who then asked her about it and the answer she got was nothing apart from she would be missing a few days of school.

If she has plenty of friends, maybe you can try organising some sort of (birthday?) party for her?

Her 18th in 2 months and 3 days.

Do you know her parents very well? Are they aware of what happened? Maybe you should try talking to them as well (never underestimate the power of good mother or father). If you're not sure that her parents are able to help her (they are divorcing and thus going through a difficult time themselves), then don't talk to the parents or do it discretely, i.e. without telling your friend, to avoid disappointments (e.g. you talk to the parents, but they don't seem to do get the message).

They have known about all of it before me. She is very close to her mum and shares everything with her. Her mum's father's partner has been staying over as well, giving support. She always has someone there for her.

Thanks for the help guys.

[BigTex]

Finally have some time to type.

A divorce is usually seen as a loss of a constant. Her mother and father have always been there, have always been together, have always been one unit. Destroying that one thing that has always been there can call into question alot. It's usually worse when children are in their teens, but everyones different, and every situation is unique. There's alot of stress involved with college, believing that you've lost the one stabalizer in your life can have massive effects.

To help her you need to be her constant, her safety. The pillow at the end of the day, the boulder of security. Be there for her, but don't follow her into the depths. Stay happy, talk about whats going wrong and be rational but empathetic in your responses, and as redleg said they must stay the same. Get out do stuff, go see The Dark Knight or another movie. As long as your doing something your not focusing on being sad, if you arent focusing on being sad you are happier.

Stay away from the emo music, just makes people more depressed. Yes it's nice to listen to sometimes (and godbless emo girls, come cry on BigTex's shoulder, tell me of your woe's) but bummed out music makes you feel well bummed out.

Ok so she got the drugs after the panic attack. If they work it will take several weeks before they will have an effect. Be there for her and don't let her negativity get to you.

That actually depends on if they gave her true anti-depressents or muscle relaxers. Since she was convulsing and needing to be restrained she could very well be on muscle relaxers. Or a combination of the two. Some anti-depressents can take a few weeks to build up in the body, while muscle relaxers will take minutes to take effect.

Go out and go bowling or some other group activity. Find as many people who know and care about her and invite them to come. Seeing alot of people who care about her can help.

Just don't go breaking yourself. You can't help her if your wasted and broken. Goodluck, and stay strong.

[FactionHeir]

I was reading an article the other day that women on anti depressants actually experienced noticeable improvements when taking Viagra

Other than that, I don't know anyone with depression (though I sometimes think of myself as depressed), but making them not feel alone should help I think.

[Hosakawa Tito]

Other then that - don't take the suicide attempt lightly. It was a call for help because she is overwhelmed with the situation.

I can't stress this statement enough. I hope her doctor & therapist are aware of this. I would suggest some type of suicide prevention training/counselling for you.

[yesdachi]

After my step father died my mom went into a bad time with depression. She took some drugs and spent more time around people that cared for her and now she is a lot better. Spending time around “good for you” people is the best thing. Not all people are good to be around, especially relatives. Ditch the downers, regardless of their relationships and spend time with the good positive people and it will help as much as the drugs.

Non-prescription drugs, even relatively mild ones could be very hazardous right now, I would avoid them completely.