News of the Weird

[Banquo's Ghost]

According to Google Maps, Russian armour is rolling into Georgia - Savannah and Atlanta are threatened.

[Lemur]

Putin's march to the sea ...

[Viking]

According to Google Maps, Russian armour is rolling into Georgia - Savannah and Atlanta are threatened.

I don't quite get it. None of the hits appear to concern the invasion.

[Lemur]

I'm sorry, but when you combine the words "homemade vibrator" and "drug charges," nothing good is going to happen.

According to the incident report, as Nix got out of his patrol car, he noticed that Wilkes had a “large lump in the front of his blue jeans, with wires running from inside his pants and hanging down dragging the ground” as he walked toward him. There was also a syringe hanging out of Wilkes’ pants pocket.

As Nix talked with Wilkes, he removed the syringe from his pocket and asked him if he had any other illegal substances. Wilkes told him the object inside his pants was a “homemade vibrator” and he then removed it by pulling on the wires. He told the deputy that the wires were hooked to a small battery in order for the vibrator to work. “Further examination of the item revealed that a small motor had been removed from an item and placed inside a pill bottle, and then wrapped in a piece of pipe insulation before being placed inside his pants for a pleasurable sensation,” the report stated.

The syringe tested positive for methamphetamine and a further search of the residence and outbuildings yielded a quantity of methamphetamine, additional syringes and other paraphernalia.

[Craterus]

I failed to think of a pun

Enjoy!

Hope I don't have Lemur's Disease.

[Gregoshi]

Speaking of cash, the latest euro coin features Homer Simpson

Put your hands in the air and give me your...D'oh!

[Gregoshi]

I failed to think of a pun

Enjoy!

Sex with a steel bench? Ah, the irony...

The man must have been Rusty...

Even the best pickup line wouldn't have worked...the bench was too heavy.

Sex in the Seaty...

Nothing like good, holesome sex...

Let's hope it was stainless steel...

Never get emotionally attached to inanimate objects...

In this case, size does matter...

Smitten by the ferrous sex...

Beware the iron maiden, she'll steel your heart (among other things)...

[InsaneApache]

Gnome sweet gnome...

”The gnome was a great icebreaker on the trip. It made friends with a lot of people. It was difficult getting it through customs. Every time it appeared on the scanner they demanded to see it.”

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...ing-Gnome.html

He should be reported to the gnome office.

[Gregoshi]

Gnome sweet gnome...

That chap is rather abgnomal if you ask me. Your garden variety gnomely person.

[Lemur]

Some people knit, some people play tennis, and others take up Schnauzer castration as a hobby.

A Des Moines man accused of using a razor blade in a botched attempt to neuter a friend's dog has been charged with improper care and treatment of animals.

Police say Hung Doc Vu was issued a misdemeanor citation on Monday and faces a fine of up to $500. [...] Police say they have no indication that Vu was trying to be malicious when he attempted to remove the schnauzer's testicles on Aug. 2 with a razor blade and no pain medication.

The dog's owner took the animal in for emergency treatment. Police say the dog, named Pooper, was treated and released.

[Louis VI the Fat]

According to Google Maps, Russian armour is rolling into Georgia - Savannah and Atlanta are threatened.

Matbe that's why Tuff is so eager to start WWIII over it...

[LittleGrizzly]

Thats either insanely cruel or insanely stupid... poor dog...

[Craterus]

Sex with a steel bench? Ah, the irony...

The man must have been Rusty...

Even the best pickup line wouldn't have worked...the bench was too heavy.

Sex in the Seaty...

Nothing like good, holesome sex...

Let's hope it was stainless steel...

Never get emotionally attached to inanimate objects...

In this case, size does matter...

Smitten by the ferrous sex...

Beware the iron maiden, she'll steel your heart (among other things)...

I knew I could count on you

[Gregoshi]

Police say Hung Doc Vu was issued a misdemeanor citation on Monday and faces a fine of up to $500. [...] Police say they have no indication that Vu was trying to be malicious when he attempted to remove the schnauzer's testicles on Aug. 2 with a razor blade and no pain medication.

Perhaps Hung was attempting to aquire a (ahem) "delicacy" for dinner that evening.

[Banquo's Ghost]

I must say that Hung is an ironic name for such a fellow.

[ShadesPanther]

Inflatable Faeces knocks out powerlines

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Inflatable faeces raises a stink

A giant inflatable dog turd brought down a power line after being blown away from a Swiss museum.

The artwork, entitled Complex Shit, was carried 200 metres on the night of 31 July, reportedly breaking a greenhouse window before it landed again.

The sculpture, by American artist Paul McCarthy, was equipped with a safety system that should have deflated it.

The fake faeces has been returned and will remain on display at the Zentrum Paul Klee in Bern until October.

McCarthy is well known for his inflatable artworks, two of which - Blockhead and Daddies Bighead - were displayed outside the Tate Modern in London in 2003.

The Zentrum Paul Klee, which opened in 2005, houses a collection of about 4,000 works by the noted Swiss painter.

[Hosakawa Tito]

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Be aware that the youtube clip has some doodoo language.

Cloaca machine. Scatologist heaven. I can't wait till they come out with a desktop model.

[Gregoshi]

Cloaca machine. Scatologist heaven. I can't wait till they come out with a desktop model.

If you can't go to Washington DC, bring a little DC home with you...

[InsaneApache]

Jade Goody, who was at the centre of last year's Celebrity Big Brother race row after being accused of bullying Bollywood star Shilpa Shetty, is to appear in the Indian version of the reality TV show.

And in a further twist, the Indian version of the reality show - called Bigg Boss - will be fronted by Shetty.

Goody is set to fly out to Mumbai today in preparation for the show, which begins at the weekend.

She will be paid £100,000 for her appearance, according to today's Sun.

"Jade wasn't sure when she was first approached because she was worried about how the Indian housemates and public might react," a source told the paper.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2008...her.television

I bet she is.

I look forward to hearing her being called Jade Goody, a fat chip butty!

What goes around....

[drone]

National Archives releases OSS personnel files, Julia Child apparently poisoned Nazis with her delicious sauces.

Among the more than 35,000 OSS personnel files are applications, commendations and handwritten notes identifying young recruits who, like Child, Goldberg and Berg, earned greater acclaim in other fields -- Arthur Schlesinger Jr., a historian and special assistant to President Kennedy; Sterling Hayden, a film and television actor whose work included a role in "The Godfather"; and Thomas Braden, an author whose "Eight Is Enough" book inspired the 1970s television series.

Other notables identified in the files include John Hemingway, son of author Ernest Hemingway; Quentin and Kermit Roosevelt, sons of President Theodore Roosevelt, and Miles Copeland, father of Stewart Copeland, drummer for the band The Police.

The release of the OSS personnel files uncloaks one of the last secrets from the short-lived wartime intelligence agency, which for the most part later was folded into the CIA after President Truman disbanded it in 1945.

[Craterus]

Bodily fluids were involved so I thought I'd post this here.

http://uk.reuters.com/article/sports...P1770120080708

[FactionHeir]

Some people are just too rich

[Gregoshi]

Some people are just too rich

Or is Norway just an afjordable holiday?

[Evil_Maniac From Mars]

Or is Norway just an afjordable holiday?

Hardly - some people just don't understand that it's better to be Halden onto their money instead of Fjording it over to someone else. At least it keeps the economy going this way, at any rate.

[HoreTore]

You might wanna keep it down, people...

[naut]

You might wanna keep it down, people...

Oh Noes! Think of the kiddies!

[Gregoshi]

Hardly - some people just don't understand that it's better to be Halden onto their money instead of Fjording it over to someone else. At least it keeps the economy going this way, at any rate.

No'way!

[Lemur]

Police reports can be a lot of fun. "You caught me, Alan, I tried to **** your sheep!" Warning, link contains graphic man-on-sheep description and unsavory language. I love the fact that the victim is named "Alan Goats."

[Lemur]

Penguin to receive Norwegian knighthood. No, really.

After a decades-long military career which has seen him rise to the rank of Colonel-in-Chief, Nils Olav has learnt to take promotion in his stride.

But when he waddles out to inspect his troops at a special parade at the city's zoo he is expected to pick up a knighthood.

Members of the Norwegian King's Guard visit to the zoo to honour the distinguished bird every few years when they are in the city for the military tattoo.

The practice dates back to the early 1970s when a young lieutenant called Nils Egelien came up with the idea of having one of its king penguins as a regimental mascot and honorary member.

Over the years the bird has achieved repeated promotions and has been decorated for his long service.

But now the loyal penguin is in line to receive a title, with the personal approval of Norway's King Harald V.

Although guardsmen are remaining tight-lipped about what the latest gong will be, rumours of a knighthood are rife.

The latest promotion will be bestowed at a special parade in which Nils will be invited to inspect a guard of honour and receive a fanfare from buglers.

[Viking]

Penguin to receive Norwegian knighthood. No, really.

After a decades-long military career which has seen him rise to the rank of Colonel-in-Chief, Nils Olav has learnt to take promotion in his stride.

But when he waddles out to inspect his troops at a special parade at the city's zoo he is expected to pick up a knighthood.

Members of the Norwegian King's Guard visit to the zoo to honour the distinguished bird every few years when they are in the city for the military tattoo.

The practice dates back to the early 1970s when a young lieutenant called Nils Egelien came up with the idea of having one of its king penguins as a regimental mascot and honorary member.

Over the years the bird has achieved repeated promotions and has been decorated for his long service.

But now the loyal penguin is in line to receive a title, with the personal approval of Norway's King Harald V.

Although guardsmen are remaining tight-lipped about what the latest gong will be, rumours of a knighthood are rife.

The latest promotion will be bestowed at a special parade in which Nils will be invited to inspect a guard of honour and receive a fanfare from buglers.

Here's a short video regarding the issue.