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Thread: Dear Texan

  1. #1
    Old Town Road Senior Member Strike For The South's Avatar
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    Default Dear Texan

    Questions accepted in ego stroking format. Answers may be condescending
    There, but for the grace of God, goes John Bradford

    My aim, then, was to whip the rebels, to humble their pride, to follow them to their inmost recesses, and make them fear and dread us. Fear is the beginning of wisdom.

    I am tired and sick of war. Its glory is all moonshine. It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, for vengeance, for desolation.

  2. #2
    Member Member Koga No Goshi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dear Texan

    Quote Originally Posted by Strike For The South View Post
    Questions accepted in ego stroking format. Answers may be condescending
    Dear Great Lord Sex-God of the Texans with a Beer Bottle,

    Why does Texas hate America so much?

    Left Wing Berkeley Liberal
    Koga no Goshi

    I give my Nihon Maru to TosaInu in tribute.

  3. #3
    master of the pwniverse Member Fragony's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dear Texan

    Dear Texan, I want a good recipe for a real authentic texan chili con carne.

  4. #4
    Old Town Road Senior Member Strike For The South's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dear Texan

    Quote Originally Posted by Koga No Goshi View Post
    Dear Great Lord Sex-God of the Texans with a Beer Bottle,

    Why does Texas hate America so much?

    Left Wing Berkeley Liberal
    Dear LWBL,

    Texas does not hate America. Hate implies a strong showing of emotion. We merely tolerate the pitful 49. Its like when a cousin you dont like comes into town and you have to show him around and let him hang out with you. We dont let it bother us to much, we just continue to drink with Canada and Mexico and bully America
    There, but for the grace of God, goes John Bradford

    My aim, then, was to whip the rebels, to humble their pride, to follow them to their inmost recesses, and make them fear and dread us. Fear is the beginning of wisdom.

    I am tired and sick of war. Its glory is all moonshine. It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, for vengeance, for desolation.

  5. #5
    Old Town Road Senior Member Strike For The South's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dear Texan

    Quote Originally Posted by Fragony View Post
    Dear Texan, I want a good recipe for a real authentic texan chili con carne.
    Dear Fragtastic

    Beef or venison?
    There, but for the grace of God, goes John Bradford

    My aim, then, was to whip the rebels, to humble their pride, to follow them to their inmost recesses, and make them fear and dread us. Fear is the beginning of wisdom.

    I am tired and sick of war. Its glory is all moonshine. It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, for vengeance, for desolation.

  6. #6
    Member Member Koga No Goshi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dear Texan

    Quote Originally Posted by Strike For The South View Post
    Dear Fragtastic

    Beef or venison?
    Don't they have possum and roadkill too?
    Koga no Goshi

    I give my Nihon Maru to TosaInu in tribute.

  7. #7
    Old Town Road Senior Member Strike For The South's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dear Texan

    Quote Originally Posted by Koga No Goshi View Post
    Don't they have possum and roadkill too?
    No its to stringy for a good chili
    There, but for the grace of God, goes John Bradford

    My aim, then, was to whip the rebels, to humble their pride, to follow them to their inmost recesses, and make them fear and dread us. Fear is the beginning of wisdom.

    I am tired and sick of war. Its glory is all moonshine. It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, for vengeance, for desolation.

  8. #8
    Bureaucratically Efficient Senior Member TinCow's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dear Texan

    Dear Texan,

    Why do you tolerate the heathen metropolis of Austin? The entire city is dominated by the tech industry. Surely all good Texans are aware that this industry is replete with Dirty Liberals. This creates a horrible splotch of blue amidst your wondrous fields of red. Austin is clearly Messing With Texas, which I believe the State Constitution prohibits. Why have you not dealt with this matter?

    Sincerely,
    Born in Texas


  9. #9
    master of the pwniverse Member Fragony's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dear Texan

    Quote Originally Posted by Strike For The South View Post
    Dear Fragtastic

    Beef or venison?
    deers are hard to find here sometimes I have to drive around for a week. Will have to be beef.

  10. #10
    Old Town Road Senior Member Strike For The South's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dear Texan

    Quote Originally Posted by TinCow View Post
    Dear Texan,

    Why do you tolerate the heathen metropolis of Austin? The entire city is dominated by the tech industry. Surely all good Texans are aware that this industry is replete with Dirty Liberals. This creates a horrible splotch of blue amidst your wondrous fields of red. Austin is clearly Messing With Texas, which I believe the State Constitution prohibits. Why have you not dealt with this matter?

    Sincerely,
    Born in Texas
    Dear BIT,

    Texas is a big place and at times even our fathers and brothers fall victim to the blue scourge however being the geniuses we are we decided to let them make money for us on there colony not to mention All the other UNIs in Texas need someone to hate collectively and all the other counties need to be able to point to one county that is screwing everything up. Austin provides that. Austin may think its messing with Texas when in fact Texas is messing with Austin....Does that not blow your mind?
    There, but for the grace of God, goes John Bradford

    My aim, then, was to whip the rebels, to humble their pride, to follow them to their inmost recesses, and make them fear and dread us. Fear is the beginning of wisdom.

    I am tired and sick of war. Its glory is all moonshine. It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, for vengeance, for desolation.

  11. #11
    Probably Drunk Member Reverend Joe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dear Texan

    Dear Texan,

    How do I become a Texan?

  12. #12
    Old Town Road Senior Member Strike For The South's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dear Texan

    Quote Originally Posted by Fragony View Post
    deers are hard to find here sometimes I have to drive around for a week. Will have to be beef.
    There are more deer in Texas than there are people in Norway. Did you know that? As to your question. Chili is like Texas each one is highly indidulastic and different no two chilis are alike. Many people say how a man makes a chili will tell you allot about him. That being said you must have

    Beef
    Chili Peppers
    Anaheim pepers
    White onions
    Garlic
    cumin

    Thats is really your base. Now personally I like to add tomatoes and colby jack, my father likes to add beans and my neighbor likes to use big chunks of steak with a sauce that has a much more pinto bean flavor than beef. You really must experiment
    There, but for the grace of God, goes John Bradford

    My aim, then, was to whip the rebels, to humble their pride, to follow them to their inmost recesses, and make them fear and dread us. Fear is the beginning of wisdom.

    I am tired and sick of war. Its glory is all moonshine. It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, for vengeance, for desolation.

  13. #13
    Old Town Road Senior Member Strike For The South's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dear Texan

    Quote Originally Posted by Reverend Joe View Post
    Dear Texan,

    How do I become a Texan?
    Dear Joe,

    Whiskey
    Beer
    Freebird
    Football
    Women
    BBQ
    Sweet Tea
    Last edited by Strike For The South; 10-20-2008 at 19:05.
    There, but for the grace of God, goes John Bradford

    My aim, then, was to whip the rebels, to humble their pride, to follow them to their inmost recesses, and make them fear and dread us. Fear is the beginning of wisdom.

    I am tired and sick of war. Its glory is all moonshine. It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, for vengeance, for desolation.

  14. #14
    TexMec Senior Member Louis VI the Fat's Avatar
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    Default Re : Dear Texan

    Dear hick,


    Whale...ah hayr duh bayust bare cumfrum Taxes. Awl havun, yont wun too?
    Then ah wunna goduh bayud wid yew sistuh, shay shore is bodacious! Can ah bah her frum ya fer muh blayuck pikumup?


    Sincerly,
    Louis 'ahm the bayust Taxan round 'ere' The Fat.


    [Dear sir,

    Well, I hear the best beer comes from Texas. I'll have one, would you like one as well?
    Then I want to go to Bayud [place in South Texas] with your sister. She sure is swell looking! Can I convince you with my black pick-up?]
    Anything unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
    Texan by birth, woodpecker by the grace of God
    I would be the voice of your conscience if you had one - Brenus
    Bt why woulf we uy lsn'y Staraft - Fragony
    Not everything
    blue and underlined is a link


  15. #15
    Member Member Koga No Goshi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dear Texan

    Dear Texan He-God,

    How can other states in the U.S. be more like Texas? What fundamental changes should they make to their government or lifestyles to emulate your greatness?

    LWBL
    Koga no Goshi

    I give my Nihon Maru to TosaInu in tribute.

  16. #16
    Incorruptible Forest Manager Member Tristuskhan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dear Texan

    Quote Originally Posted by Strike For The South View Post
    Dear Joe,

    Whiskey
    Beer
    Freebird
    Football
    Women
    BBQ
    Sweet Tea
    And Skynyrd, obviously.

    Edit: wôôt? Not Texan? What a pity.....
    Last edited by Tristuskhan; 10-20-2008 at 20:45.
    "Les Cons ça ose tout, c'est même à ça qu'on les reconnait"

    Kentoc'h Mervel Eget Bezañ Saotret - Death feels better than stain, motto of the Breton People. Emgann!

  17. #17
    Old Town Road Senior Member Strike For The South's Avatar
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    Default Re: Re : Dear Texan

    Quote Originally Posted by Louis VI the Fat View Post
    Dear hick,


    Whale...ah hayr duh bayust bare cumfrum Taxes. Awl havun, yont wun too?
    Then ah wunna goduh bayud wid yew sistuh, shay shore is bodacious! Can ah bah her frum ya fer muh blayuck pikumup?


    Sincerly,
    Louis 'ahm the bayust Taxan round 'ere' The Fat.


    [Dear sir,

    Well, I hear the best beer comes from Texas. I'll have one, would you like one as well?
    Then I want to go to Bayud [place in South Texas] with your sister. She sure is swell looking! Can I convince you with my black pick-up?]
    Dear Sweetie Pie,
    Yes I will have a beer with you and you can date my sister if you like however she can kick some serious arse. So watch yourself.
    There, but for the grace of God, goes John Bradford

    My aim, then, was to whip the rebels, to humble their pride, to follow them to their inmost recesses, and make them fear and dread us. Fear is the beginning of wisdom.

    I am tired and sick of war. Its glory is all moonshine. It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, for vengeance, for desolation.

  18. #18
    Old Town Road Senior Member Strike For The South's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dear Texan

    Quote Originally Posted by Koga No Goshi View Post
    Dear Texan He-God,

    How can other states in the U.S. be more like Texas? What fundamental changes should they make to their government or lifestyles to emulate your greatness?

    LWBL
    Dear LWBL

    There is, unfortunately only one Texas. Drinking more alcohol always helps as does an appreciation for our music and food. Being polite always helps as well. Texans are always appalled at the lack of manners the pitiful 49 have.
    There, but for the grace of God, goes John Bradford

    My aim, then, was to whip the rebels, to humble their pride, to follow them to their inmost recesses, and make them fear and dread us. Fear is the beginning of wisdom.

    I am tired and sick of war. Its glory is all moonshine. It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, for vengeance, for desolation.

  19. #19
    Old Town Road Senior Member Strike For The South's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dear Texan

    Quote Originally Posted by Tristuskhan View Post
    And Skynyrd, obviously.

    Edit: wôôt? Not Texan? What a pity.....
    hence freebird my frog friend
    There, but for the grace of God, goes John Bradford

    My aim, then, was to whip the rebels, to humble their pride, to follow them to their inmost recesses, and make them fear and dread us. Fear is the beginning of wisdom.

    I am tired and sick of war. Its glory is all moonshine. It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, for vengeance, for desolation.

  20. #20
    Praefectus Fabrum Senior Member Anime BlackJack Champion, Flash Poker Champion, Word Up Champion, Shape Game Champion, Snake Shooter Champion, Fishwater Challenge Champion, Rocket Racer MX Champion, Jukebox Hero Champion, My House Is Bigger Than Your House Champion, Funky Pong Champion, Cutie Quake Champion, Fling The Cow Champion, Tiger Punch Champion, Virus Champion, Solitaire Champion, Worm Race Champion, Rope Walker Champion, Penguin Pass Champion, Skate Park Champion, Watch Out Champion, Lawn Pac Champion, Weapons Of Mass Destruction Champion, Skate Boarder Champion, Lane Bowling Champion, Bugz Champion, Makai Grand Prix 2 Champion, White Van Man Champion, Parachute Panic Champion, BlackJack Champion, Stans Ski Jumping Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Sofa Longjump Champion Seamus Fermanagh's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dear Texan

    Dear Texan (no extra flattery required; that label alone is enough to stand proud):

    Is it really fair for people to call pulled-meat "barbecue?"


    Signed,

    Meat Matters.
    "The only way that has ever been discovered to have a lot of people cooperate together voluntarily is through the free market. And that's why it's so essential to preserving individual freedom.” -- Milton Friedman

    "The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule." -- H. L. Mencken

  21. #21
    Old Town Road Senior Member Strike For The South's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dear Texan

    Quote Originally Posted by Seamus Fermanagh View Post
    Dear Texan (no extra flattery required; that label alone is enough to stand proud):

    Is it really fair for people to call pulled-meat "barbecue?"


    Signed,

    Meat Matters.
    Dear MM,

    If it is in a sandwich than its acceptable. Otherwise the bone should be attached.
    There, but for the grace of God, goes John Bradford

    My aim, then, was to whip the rebels, to humble their pride, to follow them to their inmost recesses, and make them fear and dread us. Fear is the beginning of wisdom.

    I am tired and sick of war. Its glory is all moonshine. It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, for vengeance, for desolation.

  22. #22
    Member Member Koga No Goshi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dear Texan

    Dear Texan,

    I am a proud southerner from Arkansas married to my first cousin Cindy Lou.

    If we move to your proud state of Texas, will our marriage still be legal?

    Signed,
    Concerned about the family tree.
    Koga no Goshi

    I give my Nihon Maru to TosaInu in tribute.

  23. #23
    Old Town Road Senior Member Strike For The South's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dear Texan

    Quote Originally Posted by Koga No Goshi View Post
    Dear Texan,

    I am a proud southerner from Arkansas married to my first cousin Cindy Lou.

    If we move to your proud state of Texas, will our marriage still be legal?

    Signed,
    Concerned about the family tree.
    Dear Hillbilly

    No. Texans are not Southerners. Southerners are Yankees with heat stroke. Texans are like Jesus but funnier at parties.
    Last edited by Strike For The South; 10-20-2008 at 21:58.
    There, but for the grace of God, goes John Bradford

    My aim, then, was to whip the rebels, to humble their pride, to follow them to their inmost recesses, and make them fear and dread us. Fear is the beginning of wisdom.

    I am tired and sick of war. Its glory is all moonshine. It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, for vengeance, for desolation.

  24. #24
    Amphibious Trebuchet Salesman Member Whacker's Avatar
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    Question Re: Re : Dear Texan

    Dear Texass;

    Can you give us an updated ETA on the entire state sinking into the Gulf of Mexico? We really wish that'd hurry up and happen very soon.

    Sincerely,
    The rest of the US




    Lastly,

    Nominated for post of the year.

    Quote Originally Posted by Louis VI the Fat View Post
    Dear hick,


    Whale...ah hayr duh bayust bare cumfrum Taxes. Awl havun, yont wun too?
    Then ah wunna goduh bayud wid yew sistuh, shay shore is bodacious! Can ah bah her frum ya fer muh blayuck pikumup?


    Sincerly,
    Louis 'ahm the bayust Taxan round 'ere' The Fat.


    [Dear sir,

    Well, I hear the best beer comes from Texas. I'll have one, would you like one as well?
    Then I want to go to Bayud [place in South Texas] with your sister. She sure is swell looking! Can I convince you with my black pick-up?]

    "Justice is the firm and continuous desire to render to everyone
    that which is his due."
    - Justinian I

  25. #25
    Horse Archer Senior Member Sarmatian's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dear Texan

    Dear Texan

    Is it true that Texas is the only place in the world where Chuck Norris fears to tread?

    Lowly worm begging for your attention
    Last edited by Sarmatian; 10-20-2008 at 22:22.

  26. #26
    Ranting madman of the .org Senior Member Fly Shoot Champion, Helicopter Champion, Pedestrian Killer Champion, Sharpshooter Champion, NFS Underground Champion Rhyfelwyr's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dear Texan

    Quote Originally Posted by Sarmatian View Post
    Dear Texan

    Is it true that Texas is the only place in the world where Chuck Norris fears to tread?

    Lowly worm begging for your attention
    Now thats just silly.

    You need some sense roundhouse-kicked into you!
    At the end of the day politics is just trash compared to the Gospel.

  27. #27
    Chretien Saisset Senior Member OverKnight's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dear Texan

    Dear Texan,

    Who would have more foreign policy experience, a Governor of your state or of Alaska?

    Trig
    Chretien Saisset, Chevalier in the King of the Franks PBM

  28. #28
    Old Town Road Senior Member Strike For The South's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dear Texan

    Quote Originally Posted by OverKnight View Post
    Dear Texan,

    Who would have more foreign policy experience, a Governor of your state or of Alaska?

    Trig
    Dear Trig,

    Alaskans are wanna be Texans. They imitate us in every possible way but we do it better. So Governor Good Hair knows more than I can see Russia Palin.
    There, but for the grace of God, goes John Bradford

    My aim, then, was to whip the rebels, to humble their pride, to follow them to their inmost recesses, and make them fear and dread us. Fear is the beginning of wisdom.

    I am tired and sick of war. Its glory is all moonshine. It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, for vengeance, for desolation.

  29. #29
    Formerly: SwedishFish Member KarlXII's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dear Texan

    Dear Texan,

    Can I rub my head on you to recieve your awesome?

    From,

    A fan.
    HOW ABOUT 'DEM VIKINGS
    -Martok

  30. #30
    Senior Member Senior Member Kurando's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dear Texan

    Lonesome Dove;

    Does the yellow rose of Texas really beat the belles of Tennessee?

    Lonesome Bulldog.

    .
    Modern civilization is a vast conspiracy against silence

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