Pizzaguy's log: On the job horror stories

[Andres]

Ok, back on topic, for an unbelievable story.

It was a very difficult inherintance case. The estate we're talking about was pretty big and of course, to spice things up, the heirs hated each other. Especially because the excentric deceased had put the niece he always said he hated and would leave out of his will as his most important heir in his last will. Even she herself was surprised. Instead of nothing, she was getting the better part of his belongings.

Anyway, with the sole reason to annoy the "bad niece", the other heirs had accepted the succession under the benefit of inventory. Not because there was a risk of there being more debts than money and real estate, but because accepting it under benefit of inventory forces everybody involved to follow complicated procedures. It was an attempt to make the case go slow, to, as I said, annoy the "bad niece" so that she should have to wait longer to get her money.

Anyway, our office was charged with the making of the inventory.

The first day, we went over to the house of the deceased. The excentric man was incontinent. The entire house smelled. The smell of piss. Everywhere. He never took care of himself and refused all help. Nurses, cleaning ladies, family to help; none of them were allowed into his house. His car smelled bad as well. A beautiful Mercedes. Such a shame; the smell made it worthless. The seats had been literally drained in piss for years. Such a beautiful car. But ok, so far so good.

The heirs were expecting expensive paintings, valuable furniture and what not in that house, but all that was in the house was rubbish. Worth less than it would cost you to pay a guy for throwing it away.

Until we went to the cellar. Thousands of bottles of exquise wine and champagne. And a coffin with hundreds of thousands of euros in cash. It took us hours to count the money. How a man who is so rich can live in such circumstances as if he was the poorest of the poor will always go beyond me. Incomprehensible.

We also found war ammunition in his house, which he had gathered as a boy during WWII.

Good, after making the inventory of what was in the house, we had to go into the garden. One of the heirs opened a small fence and BOOM! The thing was boobytrapped! As by miracle, nobody got hurt, but damn this was close. I almost died there. Nutter! Who'd expect a full functioning boobytrap on the property of some 85 year old excentric incontinent man.

But good, we survived, but the man had also a large piece of land somewhere. There were only trees on it; it was more like a wood. On it, he had a little shack. Since the heirs were pests, they insisted we'd make an inventory of the content of that old shack.

Over to the private woods.

It took us three hours to find that damn shack. On the floor, there was a wire. Before I could say "Stop, we're going back and we'll have a specialist take a look at it this time", one the heirs decided he wanted to play hero and he went over to the wire to dismantle the boobytrap. Idiot. It went off. A big bang, but luckily, this one was just to scare people away, so there was no charge, only powder to make a big bang. Not good for your ears, but not dangerous either.

Then we came closer to the shack. The door had a wire on the outside. Our local hero refused to listen to reason. I asked all parties involved to take distance. I myself went hiding behind a very big tree and ducked. It went off again, but no harm, since there was no charge either, just gunpowder to create a very big bang.

Our excentric man used to hunt in his woods. But he didn't have a license. Years ago, he had an argument with licensed hunters who broke into his shack to steal his rifle (instead of going to the police and report the guy like normal people would do). In response, he had placed the boobytraps. And a metal door. And metal plates before the windows. And the shack was in concrete. Nobody had a key and we had to get in to make an inventory of whatever was in that shack.

We had metal bars with us. The heirs started to destroy their property in front of me. After an hour or so, they asked me for help. Yes, I got permission of these people to destroy their own property and I was getting paid a lawyer fee for it. Sounds like a dreamjob, doesn't it

We had to come back the next day.

Finally into the shack. Of course, the joker had another booby trap inside that went off. Apart from some ear damage, no harm done.

In the shack, not the hundreds of thousands of euros the greedy heirs were expecting, but a wooden stool, some rotten material and a wooden box. This time, I stopped our hero in time. I firmly insisted nobody would touch that box and a week or so later, we had a specialist look at that box. There was a bomb in it. A real one this time. If it would have went off, we would all have died at the spot.

Some crazy old guy this one.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Now that's more like it.

No wonder he wanted the "bad niece" to have it...

[Jolt]

There was a bomb in it. A real one this time. If it would have went off, we would all have died at the spot.

Some crazy old guy this one.

OMG. That looks like stuff from a book.

Anyways, ATPG, here you go: The Acts of Go(r)d

10 volumes of stories (The final volume is hidden) about the stupidity a video game clerk has to deal with his customers.

This will make you laugh a lot of times.

EDIT: Just one example from the Acts of Gord, which I have been re-reading again:

More chip madness!

"Do you sell mod chips?"

"Go ahead, ask me what I sell."

"What do you sell?"

"I sell video games. What a stupid question."

"What does a mod chip cost?"

"Apparently one of us isn't keeping up."

"What do you mean?"

"If I sold you a mod chip, then you would never buy a game from me ever again. And that would be very much in opposition to my being able to run a profitable business."

"I just want one to play copied games."

"What? Do I look like an idiot? What the hell did you think I thought you wanted it for?"

"err…"

"Exactly. Now look, if I were to sell you a mod chip I would lose you as a customer. Now, if I were going to lose you as a customer I'd rather do it on a high note like setting you on fire. At least then I would have some satisfaction of a job well done."

"I'm leaving!"

"But I haven't set you on fire yet!"

Epic.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Truly awesome, thank you for the contributions. I like where this thread is going.


My favorite so far:

Stolen Rental Game Love Action!
"I'd like to trade these games in please. What are they worth?"

"Given that they are my games that someone rented a couple days back, I'd say they are worth nothing. I'm sure the person who rented them will thank you for returning them for him."

"I bought those games! They aren't yours!"

"Sir, not only are the games still in my rental cases, but they are also labeled with security marker with my name on them."

"How about $20?"

"How about I wish you a good day?"

"Give me back my games!"

"You're not keeping up here. They aren't your games to keep."

"I'll phone the police."

"Fine. Go ahead. You can explain to them why you were trying to sell me stolen games. Last I checked, selling stolen merchandise that you know is stolen is illegal. You must be new to this crime thing."

And buddy left, never to return.

[Greyblades]

Some crazy old guy this one.

Realy? I think he was more of a magnificent bastard myself.

[Veho Nex]

So, you could write a best-seller today. The next year, you can write a new best-seller in which you destroy everything you have written in the first one. And then you can continue that process for infinity.

Pizza's world view or The truth according to Pizza in 37 volumes, each volume completely different from the other ones. Should make for a fun read.

I'd buy those, as long as the price is reasonable and the money goes to the publishers, like 37.98 for the whole series and I pay 38.00 I want ATPG to get the .02$

[Askthepizzaguy]

I'd buy those, as long as the price is reasonable and the money goes to the publishers, like 37.98 for the whole series and I pay 38.00 I want ATPG to get the .02$

I would hand you a nickel and tell you to keep the change as your tip. Which I have done for my most beloved customers before.

[Beskar]

-deleted-

[Askthepizzaguy]

Quite off-topic material

VETO!!! VETO!!! NOT IN THIS THREAD!!!

[Beskar]

My apologies Pizza, I will private message the person instead.

[drone]

Anyways, ATPG, here you go: The Acts of Go(r)d

10 volumes of stories (The final volume is hidden) about the stupidity a video game clerk has to deal with his customers.

This will make you laugh a lot of times.

That was both extremely funny and extremely sad at the same time. I'm so glad I don't work retail.

[Centurion1]

Realy? I think he was more of a magnificent bastard myself.

He pissed all over himself, his car, etc.

not too magnificent

[Rhyfelwyr]

He pissed all over himself, his car, etc.

not too magnificent

Hey he played by his own rules.

[phonicsmonkey]

While I was at university I worked on and off for a company that was an outsourced provider of administration services. So everything from call centres to share registrations to data input to blah blah blah.

I had several unedifying roles there but the two worst were:

- Working in the department that opened letters. There were large letter opening machines that you sat at and used foot pedals to pick up the next letter with a suction cup and position it in front of you where the blade would rip it open, you then manually took the contents out. Cheques went into a tray which was picked up by someone every now and again and everything else (including letters of complaint) went into a rubbish bin. The machine had a digital readout positioned right in front of your face which tracked how many letters you were opening per hour. Open more letters, line goes up, open less letters, line goes down. If the line goes flat you don't get paid for that period of time! Truly what Marx was talking about when he discussed the alienation of the worker.

- Working in the on-site office of a large warehouse. My job was to sit typing share certificates on an old typewriter which was positioned under a flickering flourescent tube light inside a large, locked room-sized cage (because the certs were valuable of course). I didn't have a key to the cage and when I wanted to get out (for the bathroom or for lunch) I had to ring a bell and someone would (eventually) come and get me. Everyone who worked at the warehouse would run their keys, mugs or whatever they were carrying long the bars of the cage as they walked by, all day every day. I lasted two days at this job...

Also soul destroying is cold calling people to try to sell them double-glazing...

[Louis VI the Fat]

I'd buy those, as long as the price is reasonable and the money goes to the publishers, like 37.98 for the whole series and I pay 38.00 I want ATPG to get the .02$

Two cents on a forty dollar retail price? Sounds about right for the standard royalty rate for published works.




* tries to think up mean E-booby traps for Andres *

[Major Robert Dump]

This thread has been a great read.

I want to reiterate just how COMMON it is for people to order pizza, then not be there because they had to run somewhere. Nevermind that maybe they could have just gotten a carry-out order and picked it up while they were out, and nevermind a call would have been nice so we wouldnt have to wait or make two trips.....

I also want to reiterate how common it is for people to order pizza on holidays, during terrible weather (blizzards/tornados), and then be upset that you are either closed or the delivery times are long. At my old store we had a call logger, and on Thanksgiving when we were closed we still got over 100 calls from regular customers, with the calls starting at 10 am and some calling back every 15 minutes, as if they were panicking and unable to eat.

Anyway, still waiting on my removable HD w/ my afghan pictures so I will go chronilogically:

PAPER BOY, age 11-14:

You know, maybe in the 60s or 70s being a paper boy was good for character and work ethic, but when I did it in the 80s, for a corporate owned paper, it was akin to child slave labor. I don't know what was worse, the paper company who expected me to give all my customers my home phone so they could call if their paper wasn't there by 6am and wak my parents, or the customers who wrote hot checks, told me to try back tomorrow to get paid, or outright did not answer the door when it came time to pay but wuld call me in to complain in a heartbeat if the paper was on the steps and not on the porch next to the door so their lazy fat butt might have to put on pants to get the paper in the morning.

The best was when the paper company tried to make the carriers enforce an ID policy to verify that checks were legit, and they tried to initially blame us for forged checks, as if a 13 year old is capable of checking the ID of a grown man.

Also my grades fell, I was harassed by all-night partiers when delivering at 4 am, I was robbed twice by Run DMC-lookin men twice my age, once while collecting fees and once at 5am while delivering Sunday papers, as if 13 year old boys usually carry cash at 5am on a sunday while working (he got $5, my donut money). On neither occasion did the paper company want to re-imbruse me, and subsequently made rules regarding how much cash or checks a paper boy could carry in order to be compensated, which meant that when I did collections at the first of the month I had to go back to my house to drop the money pretty much after every third house. I also got the mandatory "you kids today are so lazy..." speeches from many of the old people who demanded their newspaper be in their mailbox on their porch, or on the porch in the shade, or slid under the garage door, etc. This made for some comical rivalries and lots of newspapers on roofs or in dog feces.

The upside to the job is that I knew where all the hot girls lived; I saw lots of females in little or no clothing prancing around in living rooms and backyards when they thought no one was around; I was a paper boy during the period where the evening paper died, delivering my last one in 1986, so theres a little history there; I knew where all the hiding spots and escape rputes were for future brushes with law, thugs, and angry fathers who caught me in their daughters room at 11pm. And I always had cash, which grated my parents because they could not play allowance-extortion games with me and I had plenty of money for arcade games, movie rentals, and bicycles.


Next installment, Grocery Sacker, age 16

[Askthepizzaguy]

Log Entry- A typical evening


So my night starts out in the typical manner. I get to the store and we're busy, and I am on the road right away. I clock in, and here we go at 4 dollars an hour. Let's get on the road with my car that needs new brakes but I can't afford them, so it's making a loud screeching noise whenever I need to slow down. That's a good sign.

Anyway, off I go, carrying orders worth 20, 30, 40, 50 dollars or more apiece, to feed presumably a person or two to a small family for one night, possibly with leftovers for a snack. You know, it's not the cheapest way in the world to eat dinner. You're paying a private company to order your food for you, ship it, refrigerate it, prepare it, cook it, cut it, box it, and hire a taxi to bring it to your doorstep, driven by a waiter who also doubles as a phone-answering dishwashing prep cook janitor. We get to the houses and of course, folks aren't home. You see, they ordered their food, and went to the store to get something, thinking somehow that the 30 minute delivery time which was called an estimate on the phone is an exact deadline, which if true, they were still late in meeting, but I was not.

So I am forced to wait as is company policy, and forced to use minutes on my phone informing the store what happened, as is company policy. I shut off my car and therefore the A/C and sit in the heat because gasoline is expensive. So just before their obligatory 5 minutes is over, they decide to show up (maybe), or I go back to the store. They get there and they apologize profusely for making me wait. (how kind) Then, they try to pay with a 100 dollar bill, thinking that I carry 80 dollars in bills in crime-infested neighborhoods after dark without any weapons or even pepper spray on my person. As everyone who has ever ordered pizza from Mizza Mut knows, we do not carry that much cash. Not even if you phone ahead and ask us to. That's called a setup for a robbery.

So I explain I don't have that much change, and they get upset at me for not being a walking ATM machine. Then comes the credit card. Of course, they didn't phone ahead to pay by card, so I don't have a credit card slip, and we still have to call the store and run the card. And we're calling them on MY cellular phone of course, wasting my minutes, and further wasting my time which I could be using to, I dunno, earn money.

So we call the store and run the card. When you pay by card, you're given the option of leaving a gratuity (roughly 50% of my income MUST come from gratuity, since I make 4 dollars an hour, and no one can afford to live on that when the living wage is over 7 dollars an hour) or stiffing me. On the credit card slip, you're supposed to fill out the tip, the total charge to your card, and then sign it. Well, I don't have a credit card slip, so I helpfully create one on your bill, and take the bill back to the store, to save me a trip and to save you a headache.

Right below the total on your bill, and right above the part of your bill that says "DRIVER GRATUITY NOT INCLUDED" in big honking letters, there's enough space for me to rig a credit card slip kind of deal. I write "gratuity" on the left, followed by a line, and "total" underneath that, followed by the line, and then there's already a big line at the bottom right above the printed part that says the gratuity isn't included, so I put an X next to that and ask you to sign it. I explain that this is what your credit card slip would look like if I had one.

So folks invariably just sign the bill and hand it back to me.

Which, by the way, leaves them wide open for credit card fraud, as your credit card slips allow you to add in a total, and it's not hard to write in my own numbers. I don't do that because I'm not a soulless scumbag, and if I'm going to rip someone off, it's not going to be for 3 dollars, I'd rather rob a bank and possibly live off of that one crime for a while without having to work. Furthermore, another driver did that at our store and got found out, fired, and nearly sent to jail, and Pizzaguy don't roll like that. He was fool enough to always write in tips and always make it for 5-10 dollars, like a moron. If you were to do that, you'd do it once in a great while, and for 2 dollars, because no one would ever know. And like I said, Pizza isn't a soulless scumbag, and I'm not an idiot, and I'm not idiot enough to commit fraud over two of your dollars, with a paper trail that leads directly back to me. Thanks, but I have several brain cells to rub together.

But it still ticks me off that people insult me by wasting my time, and turn their back to me with an opportunity for revenge, and don't even realize how dumb they're being. The moron got away with it for at least a couple months. That means out of the hundreds of people he ripped off in blatant fashion, it still took months to find out about it. I make it a point of letting people know that the credit card slip is "like a blank check" if you don't fill out "the total".

I'm not pointing at the tip and saying "pay me", but I am letting them know to at the very, very least, protect themselves from other jerks while they're being a jerk to me, because I'm a nice guy, if a bit irritated at them.

Then, I get the customary "thank you so much" or "preciate it" and I am told to "drive safe" or "have a nice night".

Really? You're thanking me? What for?

Did I help you move?

Did I babysit your cat while you were on vacation?

What am I doing which is worthy of your thanks?

Oh, you mean my job?

The job which I have in order to pay my bills?

Bills I can't pay because you're too cheap to pay me for bringing your food to you, and too lazy to go get it yourself and stop wasting my time, my phone minutes, wearing down my car, and trying my patience?

How am I supposed to have a nice night, exactly? With customers like you, it is indeed impossible.

And that's the typical, usual customer who is at least polite about ripping me off. This same thing happens to people who talk on the phone, don't give me any eye contact, or have their kids answer the door and pocket the obvious tip right in front of my eyes, which I can't say a darned thing about. It's really impolite to not even address me at all when I'm now doing you a personal favor at personal cost when I'm supposed to be earning enough to live in a rented bedroom in a bug infested dilapidated pile of garbage in the middle of a crack ghetto, and ride in style in my personal vehicle whose interior has been ruined because of my job and is now breaking down constantly.

But the other day I got just the sweetest customer you'd ever know. I remember it well.


So this lady orders about 80 dollars worth of food and drinks. It's late at night, about 10 or 11pm. I get to her house, and knock on the door.

The child answers the door, wearing nothing. Nothing at all. Had to be maybe 6 or so.

First of all, that's very safe, because there aren't pedophiles or anything like that. But you know, your parenting is your business.

Then several more kids come to the door, and they all want the pizza. They want it a whole lot. So they're trying to grab it from me. Some of the kids are trying to climb on me. But I play it cool.

The lady comes to the door. Incidentally, this woman is without exaggeration, about 500 pounds. How she's even walking is beyond me. And, may I add, I've seen people who are 300 and 400 pounds. I know the difference between overweight, fat, huge, really huge, and insanely huge. This lady was not one of the former. But her health is her business, and doesn't affect me at all. I just wanted to highlight what a charmer she was.

So I tell her hello and I ask to see her credit card. She's ordered before. In fact, I've delivered to her before. She knows what the deal is. Mizza Mut policy has been the same since the last time I worked there 4-5 years ago. And it was the same the last time I delivered to her.

At about this time, someone else pulls into the driveway in a truck, and walks up to the door. It seems to be some kind of plumber or repair person that this lady called, because she ignores me and starts talking to him about a leak or whatever, and after a minute or two of conversation, he goes inside.

She turns to me and asks me what I was waiting for, and I tell her I just needed to see the credit card for a sec to make an imprint. Gosh, this food is heavy, and Mizza Mut policy is to hold onto the food until I have accepted payment. It is VERY common for customers to short-change me (at least once a night), or not have the required credit card, and the policy is that we cannot accept payment without a credit card.

So she starts barking orders at her kids, walks away from the door, and starts ignoring me again. She doesn't come back with the card. When she does come back she asks me to please give her the food, because she's starving and her kids are starving.


Obviously she's starving. That's why the guy with the hot food anxious to hand it over to her because it is heavy has been her lowest priority for the past 7 or 8 minutes. It also explains her slim physique.


I nod politely and say "of course ma'am, not a problem at all, I just need to see that credit card real quick, and I'll be able to make an imprint, and we'll be all set!"

So she tells me to hand her the food. She drops some obscenities in there as well, but this is the .org, so I'll spare you the daisies.

"I'm sorry ma'am, but I have to follow Mizza Mut policy. I've been told by my bosses very explicitly that I'm supposed to take payment first and verify the card before I can do anything. I'm very sorry."

"What is your name?"

So I tell her my name.

"Well I don't want you delivering to my house anymore."

"Not a problem. I just need to see that card and I'll be on my way."

So, she hands me the card, and I make an imprint. This literally takes me less than 5 seconds because I do this all night long every night. During those five seconds, she again barks at me to hand me her food. I hand her the slip and ask her to sign it, and tell her I'll be on my way.

"Gimme the food!"

"Sure thing, I just need you to sign on the line to authorize this payment, and the meal is yours."

Well, she just stands there, not signing it. Great, she wants a freaking showdown with me over nothing, even though she's "starving" and her kids are "starving" and this food is heavy, and I've been polite and explained that it's not MY decision, it's store/company policy I'm obligated to follow unwillingly because it is my job to do so. Not because I LIKE standing out here holding heavy food with one arm and drinks, pen, and paper in the other. Not because she's such a charming person that I want to stay at her house for as long as humanly possible.

I don't really feel like watching her glare at me, so I pretend to be looking out for my car to see if anyone is trying to jack it. Which, by the way, is a legitimate concern for me since it already happened this year.

So she realizes her icy stares aren't working, so she finally stops being a child and signs the credit card slip and hands it to me. She has her food instantly, and I am gone.

That wasn't so hard. But of course, wasting my time, cussing me out, and generally being inconsiderate is worth putting up with for the zero tip I just earned. Here's some important information I didn't share with her because, you know, I wanted to leave quicker:

If you start dropping f-bombs on me, I don't have to put up with it. I have permission to just leave, with the food. I was being kind to this woman by putting up with her asinine behavior. What I get in return is her phoning up my boss and lying about me to my boss to try to get me fired, because I followed company policy as required, and as I explained. She claims I insulted her children.

Yeah, that would be pretty classy of me to do. That's how I get my jollies, picking on little kids in front of their mother in a customer service job, when I myself was picked on a lot as a child. That makes sense. I did no such thing.

If I were going to be rude to this woman, I had ample opportunities. And I would have directed it at her, for being such a horrible person, not her kids.


But hey, that still doesn't beat the next house. For the next house is the one wherein they've ordered before, and stiffed every driver we have before. This is the house wherein they've lied and gotten free pizzas before. They have numerous complaints on file, and none were legitimate to my knowledge. But policy is to keep delivering, because sometimes they do pay. On rare occasion.

So we deliver to them late at night the previous night, and they call in a complaint. Well, we were closed by then. So they called up the next day and they got a credit. So they ordered some more food. I deliver this food, and because of the nature of this customer, I double-check the food before I even get to the door to make sure it is perfect; hot, not slid around, absolutely perfect in every way. Then, at the door, after listening to her lie about what horrible service she always gets and how her order is always wrong (why do you keep ordering from us, then? Oh yeah, because Momino's Pizza said they wouldn't deliver to you anymore because you're an ***, so you HAVE to order from us).

So I put up with that obvious garbage and politely hand her her food. I give her absolutely NO reason to call in yet another complaint, because I don't want to have to argue with her, or hear her yell at me, or put up with more garbage than she's already putting us through. I bend over backwards to treat this person like they're our very favorite customer. I show her the food, ask her if it is excellent, and she says it is. And I even offer her some peppers and parmesan cheese, plates, napkins, the whole spiel. I am the model of a perfect waiter for this person, even though she doesn't deserve it in the slightest.

Well, she's very satisfied, and even leaves me the change for a tip. Oh goody, I'm impressed by your coins. But I take it and leave.

We get back to the store, and what do we find out? They're LIVID!!! Those wings I just showed her that she said was "excellent" were "dry, not enough sauce" and the pizza I just showed her which looked like it was on the commercial on TV was "overdone"!

Amazingly, she wants another pizza and wings remade. I did not see that coming. Company policy is, you can't have eaten more than half of the pizza or half of the wings, because (a) we want to see what we did wrong with your food so it doesn't happen again, and (b) if your food is that horrible and we're going to make it fresh for you, you shouldn't be eating all of it, because that means you enjoyed it, and (c) they've been ripping us off and we're aware of that. So you don't get free stuff every time, especially since your order was already discounted from the time before that, and the manager checked your food before it left.

So, we get back to the door, and we just want to trade the bad wings and half-pizza for the freshly made stuff that was made by the manager herself. But, instead of handing over the bad food which we ruined, they grab the wings and the pizza from the bag by force, and slam the door, almost. You see, the driver sees this sort of thing coming, because it happens. You're not exactly slick or creative, even if you think you are.

Well, after being threatened with mace and you go back to your car to call the police, we have to wait for the police to be involved. And then when they arrive, we get to go to the store with no tips in hand. And then later we get to get interviewed by the police, and earn no tips during this whole process. Then, since it was busy and we were effectively down a driver this whole time, the store is backed up and looks like trash and there's a mountain of dishes.


So, you get to go home poorer than when you started, after a nice long shift. No 8 hours for you, because this is the new economy where you work 11 hours without batting an eye, and do it again the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and go home to your bug-infested ghetto house to do your writeup for the mafia game you're hosting, and then fall asleep with the pizza (your only meal of the entire day) which you had to pay over 8 dollars for WITH your employee discount.


End log.



All events in this log are completely factual, although they took place on two different nights in the same week.

[Strike For The South]

You sound like a sad individual

[Askthepizzaguy]

You sound like a sad individual

I could always work the graveyard shift at the 24-hour McDonald's drive thru instead, and put up with a similar level of nonsense for a living wage of 7 dollars an hour. But, it turns out, I have decided to do this because I do get to listen to the radio while I work. So, we make compromises elsewhere. Besides, I'll be in management training shortly, which gets me off the road and pays better than 7 dollars an hour. I give up the radio in the process, but, someday we want to be able to afford to not live in the crack ghetto and maybe have a couple of kids before we die.

A pizza man can dream, can't he?

[Strike For The South]

I could always work the graveyard shift at the 24-hour McDonald's drive thru instead, and put up with a similar level of nonsense for a living wage of 7 dollars an hour. But, it turns out, I have decided to do this because I do get to listen to the radio while I work. So, we make compromises elsewhere. Besides, I'll be in management training shortly, which gets me off the road and pays better than 7 dollars an hour. I give up the radio in the process, but, someday we want to be able to afford to not live in the crack ghetto and maybe have a couple of kids before we die.

A pizza man can dream, can't he?

Eh, Life is hard enough without remembering all those who have slighted you

[Askthepizzaguy]

Eh, Life is hard enough without remembering all those who have slighted you

Don't worry Strike, I'm not looking for your sympathy. Just a few yuks from the folks who would be as entertained by the absurdity as I am. I do laugh this stuff off, or I wouldn't be working there.

I will suggest that your words of wisdom didn't take more than a few seconds of thought and aren't that useful to me, though. Thanks anyway. You can keep the change on that one, buddy.

[Strike For The South]

Don't worry Strike, I'm not looking for your sympathy. Just a few yuks from the folks who would be as entertained by the absurdity as I am. I do laugh this stuff off, or I wouldn't be working there.

I will suggest that your words of wisdom didn't take more than a few seconds of thought and aren't that useful to me, though. Thanks anyway. You can keep the change on that one, buddy.

I was unaware I was not allowed to comment beyond "LOL"

[Ronin]

you should do it like Anthony Bourdain and put out a tell all book called "Pizza Delivery confidential"..

:P

[Major Robert Dump]

He's not sad. What's sad are 50% of the customers who order pizza for delivery, whether they do it unintentionally, or they are just trash, or they are just inconsiderate scum. What's sad is that most pizza companies take advantage of drivers knowing full well that customers will take advantage of drivers knowing full well that pizza companies take advantage of drivers.

There are, I kid you not, people who order pizza 5x a week and never, ever tip. There are, I kid you not, people who order pizza 2 minutes before close on a regular basis and freak out if they call 5 minutes after and you won't deliver to them. There are people who, I kid you not, make a living off of restuarants "customer satisfaction" policies and there are franchise owners who will allow this to happen because it costs the employees far more than it costs the owner, and very few corporate restuarants have the balls to outright ban a customer.

Delivering pizzas in college made me lose all hope for America. that's where it started.

But I will save my stories for myu entry.

[Askthepizzaguy]

I was unaware I was not allowed to comment beyond "LOL"

Feel free, but suppose this was one of those lovely frontroom threads where someone is talking about their unfortunate track record with women. While allowable, it's not constructive to be like "well, did you ever consider that perhaps you're just hopelessly unattractive?" While this is a tongue-in-cheek thread jabbing customer absurdity, the situations are real, and comments like "life would be easier if you just ignore/forget the things that happen in it" are comments which are not well-thought out and are equally unwelcome.

Maybe you were in fact trying to be helpful. I just wouldn't start up an advice column anytime soon if that is the case. And if you weren't trying to be helpful, maybe you were trying to be funny. Again, I wouldn't recommend comedy as a career. Maybe you were trying to be less than kind, in which case, I'm still not impressed as I've heard far worse before. I give it 1 and a half stars.

[Andres]

In most jobs where you come into contact with people, you'll be amazed at how dumb, rude and impolite a lot of them are.

[Strike For The South]

Feel free, but suppose this was one of those lovely frontroom threads where someone is talking about their unfortunate track record with women. While allowable, it's not constructive to be like "well, did you ever consider that perhaps you're just hopelessly unattractive?" While this is a tongue-in-cheek thread jabbing customer absurdity, the situations are real, and comments like "life would be easier if you just ignore/forget the things that happen in it" are comments which are not well-thought out and are equally unwelcome.

Maybe you were in fact trying to be helpful. I just wouldn't start up an advice column anytime soon if that is the case. And if you weren't trying to be helpful, maybe you were trying to be funny. Again, I wouldn't recommend comedy as a career. Maybe you were trying to be less than kind, in which case, I'm still not impressed as I've heard far worse before. I give it 1 and a half stars.

Or maybe I'm on the tail end of a bender and felt the need to comment. No one ever considers the possibilty that maybe I've simply taken to many pills.

[Askthepizzaguy]

In most jobs where you come into contact with people, you'll be amazed at how dumb, rude and impolite a lot of them are.

Is the pay any good?

Yeah, I have worked a lot of people-related jobs. I've been a host at a restaurant, waiter, busperson, a telemarketer, greeter/sales associate, done store remodels where customers ask you for assistance while you're working... I haven't done medical stuff (having to deal with human bodily fluids) or police work (having to arrest drunk people/violent offenders, etc) or been a lawyer. But the low-paying stuff, I have done. I will say that pizza delivery is on a totally different scale from hosting, waiting, bussing, marketing, sales, or customer assistance. There just is no comparison at all.

That said, I do recognize that nurses, doctors, lawyers, police officers, soldiers (etc), these sorts of people go through a lot worse than I do. And horribly, with soldiers, the pay isn't all that much improved, when you first start. I'd have to rank soldier as the worst of the bunch, in terms of what's required of you, what you have to tolerate, and your working conditions. It's not just a job, nor even a career. It takes a pretty special person to volunteer to sit in the middle of the desert and get shot at for several years.

Props go to people with actual problems. It does make these sorts of struggles look silly by comparison. But people will gripe about their jobs, and I'd love to hear some more gripes, especially the funnier or more shocking ones.

[Centurion1]

I always tip. My tips are always a solid 15-20% However, I will admit there have been times when my tips have been like a quarter left over because I literally dug around my dorm for quarters. I am always ashamed by this and usually apologize. Even if I have service I usually leave a tip. I am disgusted by people who do not tip and once had a huge argument in a nice japanese restaurant with a friend over it. I have noticed that many of my female friends are often prone to make up a snarky reason for why they do not want to tip while my male friends will just shrug their shoulders and say yeah it is douchey but I am a cheap bastard. While i am a cheap bastard i am not that cheap.

I regard not tipping as a lack of class to be perfectly honest and many of atpg's stories simply reinforce my belief.

[Centurion1]

Is the pay any good?

Yeah, I have worked a lot of people-related jobs. I've been a host at a restaurant, waiter, busperson, a telemarketer, greeter/sales associate, done store remodels where customers ask you for assistance while you're working... I haven't done medical stuff (having to deal with human bodily fluids) or police work (having to arrest drunk people/violent offenders, etc) or been a lawyer. But the low-paying stuff, I have done. I will say that pizza delivery is on a totally different scale from hosting, waiting, bussing, marketing, sales, or customer assistance. There just is no comparison at all.

That said, I do recognize that nurses, doctors, lawyers, police officers, soldiers (etc), these sorts of people go through a lot worse than I do. And horribly, with soldiers, the pay isn't all that much improved, when you first start. I'd have to rank soldier as the worst of the bunch, in terms of what's required of you, what you have to tolerate, and your working conditions. It's not just a job, nor even a career. It takes a pretty special person to volunteer to sit in the middle of the desert and get shot at for several years.

Props go to people with actual problems. It does make these sorts of struggles look silly by comparison. But people will gripe about their jobs, and I'd love to hear some more gripes, especially the funnier or more shocking ones.

Soldiers have fantastic benefits hahahaha. Like seriously benefits are superb. Which really helps compensate for the low pay. Not to mention the fact that promotion is an actual possibility and most likely going to happen. Also most privates aren't trying to provide for an entire family (though obviously plenty do have a young wife or even a family to support) so living in barracks and eating chow food is very possible. Though I will note that danger pay is not as high as many people think it is. Actually depressingly low when you consider what exactly danger is.