[League] The Return of Askvaard Von Pizzaguy [CONCLUDED]

[a completely inoffensive name]

Whatever, I will break the tie based off of a dice roll. I got 4 which means ​vote: WEW

[Jarema]

in order to avoid ties, I will support this. Unvote; vote: WeW

[Montmorency]

Whatever, I will break the tie based off of a dice roll. I got 4 which means ​vote: WEW

in order to avoid ties, I will support this. Unvote; vote: WeW

Just as we agreed. Excellent.

I love it when a plan comes together.

[El Barto]

I'm pretty sure I voted for NinjaCow64.

[Askthepizzaguy]

I'm pretty sure I voted for NinjaCow64.

Cool. Show me where.

[Visor]

He never voted Ninja.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Five minutes.


Edit- Time expires.

[Askthepizzaguy]

DAY ONE



Professor Askvaard: "Okay everyone, time is up!"


Von Pizzaguy taps his wine glass with a fork to get everyone's attention.


Professor Askvaard: "Who have you determined are the guilty parties at my Masquerade Party?"


Many fingers were pointed, and the room erupted into a dull roar of crosstalk, interjections, rebuttals, and spam. The vote remained deadlocked for what seemed like days. Suddenly, Wideyedwanderer received a few additional votes, and his fate was sealed.


Professor Askvaard: "So, Wideyedwanderer, we meet again for the first time, for the last time. Now, would you like to confess to your evil and heinous crimes?"


"Lady" Weston-Hogues raises a drug-and-booze-addled eyebrow.


wideyedwanderer: "No, of course not. I'm entirely innocent, in fact. And Mr. Fluffums will not stand for this outrage! Back, you unwashed peasants, back, I say! Allow a lady her dignity!"


Professor Askvaard: "......Mister Fluffums?"


wideyedwanderer: "My precious feline companion, of course. Such a shame that a creature of such grace and dignity will be subject to the whims of this rabble after I'm gone. You take care, Mister Fluffums, won't you?"


Mr Fluffums is engaged in a battle to the death with one of the professor's houseplants. At this stage, it is unclear whether fauna or flora will emerge victorious.


Professor Askvaard: "Bring the noose!"


"NOOSE! NOOSE! NOOSE! NOOSE!!!"
They all chanted. And soon, wideyedwanderer was sipping martinis on the floor, sort of propped up against the couch, with a rope around his or her neck.


wideyedwanderer: "How rude!"


Professor Askvaard: "Everyone ready?"


Professor Askvaard stood next to wideyedwanderer, and ripped off what appeared to be a mask. Underneath, his real identity was revealed for all to see.


Winston Hughes: "I'm not really feelin' the love tonight. It's not enough for this wide-eyed wanderer that I only got this far..."


The crowd erupted with laughter. This was fun indeed.


Professor Askvaard, however, opened a large cabinet, and produced a chainsaw.

BRAW. . . . BRAWWWWW. . . . . . BRAWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

Askvaard swung the chainsaw, cutting Winston Hughes at the neck. Within seconds, the half man, half woman was no more. The scene was bloody and grotesque.


The dinner guests screamed in horror at the violence they were witnessing. Camikaze himself couldn't even believe his eyes. He dropped his katana blade and fell to his knees.


"I'm not even in this game!" he shouted. "This makes no sense! It's just callback-related nonsense!"


Professor Askvaard Von Pizzaguy, now covered in flecks of blood and entrails, began roaring with insane glee at having slain Winston Hughes. But, he wasn't finished. He looked at his party guests and began licking his lips.


Professor Askvaard: "Who's next?"


Mister Fluffums was not amused, and began hissing at Pizzaguy. He then began the long and arduous task of licking the blood off of his fluffy body.







"Alive" - (32/33)

a completely inoffensive name
Arjos
atheotes
Beefy187
BSmith
Chaotix
Choxorn
Classical_hero
Csargo
DaveShack
Diana Abnoba
Double A
edse
El Barto
Ironside
Ishmael
Jarema
Johnhughthom
King Jan III Sobieski
Major Robert Dump
Memnon
Montmorency
Nightbringer
NinjaCow64
Seon
Skooma Addict
SouthernKing
thefluffyone93
The King
Tiaexz
Visorslash
Xenoneb


"Dead" - (0/33)

Nobody!


OH MY GOD, THEY'RE ACTUALLY DEAD!!! - (1/33)

wideyedwanderer- "Lady" Weston-Hogues / Winston Hughes - CHICKEN [vanilla townie]









Begin Night One


Night will last for 24 hours.

[El Barto]

Nobody calls Winston chicken.

Come to me, Mr. Fluffums! Nice kitty kitty!

[wideyedwanderer]

I hope you guys will remember who voted to lynch me - a completely innocent townie. Remember, NinjaCow OMGUS voted for me, which tied me for the lead lynch. He voted for me only because I voted for him.

ATPG - Your idea to avoid breaking ties via random.org is nice, but it failed. The tie was still broken by random methods, albeit by players, instead of the host.

[Askthepizzaguy]

That's the kind of random I like. That way the blame can't be shifted onto random.org or the game host's decision-making process. The ball is always in the hands of the players themselves.

Now, advance your round on TWC so I can show them the true nature of the dark side. And the awesomeness of my remote droids.

[Jarema]

ATPG - Your idea to avoid breaking ties via random.org is nice, but it failed. The tie was still broken by random methods, albeit by players, instead of the host.

Of course I am now talking against myself in a sense, but it was not necessarilly random - we can analyze votes that decided about your death. I do not think mafia would be so bold and put one of decissive votes on you.

[Ishmael]

in order to avoid ties, I will support this. Unvote; vote: WeW

Of course I am now talking against myself in a sense, but it was not necessarilly random - we can analyze votes that decided about your death. I do not think mafia would be so bold and put one of decissive votes on you.

Are you trying to be suspicious Jarema?

[Jarema]

No
As I wrote, I know it may raise suspicions on me, but I had to react to WeW statement

[Askthepizzaguy]

Must... post... thing.

Makes me look scummy.

CANT... STOP... SELF!!!

[Jarema]

I am glad you understand me!

You are my master!

[Double A]

tos: Pizza

[Askthepizzaguy]

You are my master!

You're exaggerating, Jarema.

I'm everyone's master.

[Jarema]

please, do not me feel jelous

[Beefy187]

I know Pizza is the host and all, but he is so scummy.
FoS: ATPG

Watch him closely fellas.

[Diana Abnoba]

Pizza is ALWAYS scummy!!! Nothing new with that, it has to be in the "rules" somewhere, just can't remember what number it is.

[NinjaCow64]

I don't like scum on my pizza. It makes it taste icky.

[a completely inoffensive name]

I hope you guys will remember who voted to lynch me - a completely innocent townie. Remember, NinjaCow OMGUS voted for me, which tied me for the lead lynch. He voted for me only because I voted for him. ATPG - Your idea to avoid breaking ties via random.org is nice, but it failed. The tie was still broken by random methods, albeit by players, instead of the host.

I put the team on my back do. Some people don't think it like it is but it do.

[Montmorency]

I put the team on my back do. Some people don't think it like it is but it do.

This guy's scum.

[El Barto]

I haven't forgotten. I already voted Pizzaman on Day One.

[NinjaCow64]

I put the team on my back do. Some people don't think it like it is but it do.

lolwut?

[a completely inoffensive name]

lolwut?

Warning, very crude but hilarious language.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDd5DPAGoCk

[a completely inoffensive name]

For those that are looking for more PG entertainment tonight, please accept this alternative.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Ok a little behind schedule here, I guess folks are less accustomed to 24 hour rounds, especially after day one which took freaking forever.

Let's see if I can't advance the round.

[Askthepizzaguy]

NIGHT ONE





Askvaard Von Pizzaguy switched off the lights, and the party guests screamed in horror.





"You can't fool me, Joecoolyo. I know who you are. You're hiding underneath that cheap, disgusting looking, ugly bald mask!" shouted Askvaard Von Pizzaguy.


"Hey! I resemble that remark. I'll have you know, it's not even a mask." came the reply in the darkness.


"We will see about that!" replied the Professor, who smashed his victim over the head with a rather expensive ornamental vase. Full of pennies. It cracked open, and pennies began pouring out. A ridiculous amount of pennies.


For the next 90 seconds, all anyone could hear was the terrible sound of more and more pennies sliding out of the enormous vase, rolling across the tiled floor, spinning around, clattering around, wobbling, rolling, bouncing. It was a cacophony of copper, but really, nowadays its mostly zinc.


"That's a whole lotta zinc!" said someone in the crowd, with a 'wiseguy' voice.


"You might not be aware, but even though zinc is less valuable than copper, it has a wide variety of uses. And I'm not just talking about pennies." said the Professor, pressing a button on his remote control.


In the darkness, a projector began playing an informative movie on zinc.









"Here's something else you might not know about Zinc. The machine that raises the projector screen behind you which showed that movie was made of zinc. And, finally, the metal in this lovely device is an alloy which contains 40% zinc. Just like Bender."

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

BRAW. . . . BRAWWWWW. . . . . . BRAWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

Askvaard Von Pizzaguy approached the man he just crushed with the penny vase, and began waving the chainsaw around. "I know it's not you, Johnhughthom! Now take off that ugly mask, or I'll remove it the hard way!"


Johnhughthom: "It's NOT A MASK!!! It's NOT A MASK!!!"


Askvaard Von Pizzaguy: "We'll see about that, Joe-FOOL-yo!"



The terrible sound of a chainsaw ripping through someone's neck was heard. The loud scream was cut hideously short. The sound of a head thumping against the floor was followed by the sound of a body slumping down next to it.


The chainsaw stopped. "Lights, please."



When the lights came up, Askvaard Von Pizzaguy removed the mask on "Johnhughthom" to reveal.....



Askvaard Von Pizzaguy: "Johnhughthom without a face!?!"


It appeared that the mask johnhughthom was wearing, was made out of johnhughthom's skin. Underneath, was just flesh and bone. And eyeballs. AND BALDNESS!!!


johnhughthom opened his eyes (which was a nifty feat considering he no longer had eyelids) and looked at the Professor.


johnhughthom: "My name isn't capitalized, you twit!"


Askvaard Von Pizzaguy: "But I'm speaking aloud, not typing this. How can you tell the difference?"


johnhughthom: "You never got it right before, so you're probably not getting it right now. Also, ouch-kebibble on the whole decapitation thing. Stings a bit."


Askvaard Von Pizzaguy: "I imagine so."


johnhughthom: "Indubitably."


Askvaard Von Pizzaguy: "Without question."


johnhughthom: "Rather."


Askvaard Von Pizzaguy: "Quite right old chap."


johnhughthom: "Spit spot."


Askvaard Von Pizzaguy: "Meat and two veg."


johnhughthom: "Big Ben."


Askvaard Von Pizzaguy: "Dave Clark Five."


johnhughthom: "Spam and eggs."


Askvaard Von Pizzaguy: "Baby's arm holding an apple."


johnhughthom: "Pip pip cheerio."


*BLECK*


johnhughthom finally rolled over, dead. And by rolled over, I mean his disembodied head, onto his face. Or, should I say, on his not-face. Because I removed his whole face and I'm now wearing it like a mask.


Askvaard Von Pizzaguy: "NOW, FINALLY, AT LONG LAST...... I CAN BE JOHNHUGHTHOM!!! HA HA HA!! HA HA HA!! HA HA HA, HA HA, HA HAAAA!!!"


johnhughthom: "No capitals."


Askvaard Von Pizzaguy: "NOW, FINALLY, AT LONG LAST...... I CAN BE johnhughthom !!!"

















"Alive" - (31/33)

a completely inoffensive name
Arjos
atheotes
Beefy187
BSmith
Chaotix
Choxorn
Classical_hero
Csargo
DaveShack
Diana Abnoba
Double A
edse
El Barto
Ironside
Ishmael
Jarema
King Jan III Sobieski
Major Robert Dump
Memnon
Montmorency
Nightbringer
NinjaCow64
Seon
Skooma Addict
SouthernKing
thefluffyone93
The King
Tiaexz
Visorslash
Xenoneb


"Dead" - (0/33)

Nobody!


OH MY GOD, THEY'RE ACTUALLY DEAD!!! - (2/33)

wideyedwanderer- "Lady" Weston-Hogues / Winston Hughes - CHICKEN [vanilla townie]
Johnhughthom- "No mask and all lowercase" johnhughthom - BEEF [vanilla townie]








BEGIN DAY TWO


Day will last for 24 hours.