Exodus 17 8-13 describes a field battle, where Moses' divine staff/hands gave the Israelis the morale combat advantage. The battle lasted until sunset. Did the Israeli fight with little girls armed with toothpicks? Or did they fight with the army they conquered a lot of areas with later on?
Deut 25 (a new source different from your original list) is clear that they hit the back of the Iraeli train first and probably inflicted civilian losses yeah. But they would only be defenseless if there's no rearguard at all (it was insufficient by the looks of it).
To be clear, as long as you're moving together with a group that constitutes a military threat, you're not defenseless even if you count as a civilian and the defenses around you are insufficient.
And Deut are very clear that the expected response would be that Sihon would attack, lose and leave his country open for the Israeli to burn down and put fear in every surrounding nation.
I can't break someone's spine in a bar fight and claim self defense, even after he threw the first punch. I really, really can't claim self defense if I'm saying that you should let me pass peacefully because I want to break the spine of that other guy, and I know for certain that you will refuse and act provoked (leaving his defenses for a field battle), throwing the first punch.
Let me go through this:
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
TR, your list are the eqvalent of a defense layer claiming self defense, where part of the layer's evidence is a hand written note by the defendant saying "I'm going to murder him and take all his money". And that really did happen. You can't then simply ignore that note and focus on other evidence, that aren't as damning, but simply has that as a subtext.
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