News of the Weird

[InsaneApache]

Radioactive paedophile eludes police in manhunt!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/7914758.stm

Talk about not being able to make it up. Splendid!

[Lemur]

That's no way to treat a BMW ...

Car ticketed seven times, nobody notices corpse in the backseat

At 4 p.m. Monday, a resident of College Park called police about a car that had been parked in the 1900 block of NW 2nd Avenue for several days and had been ticketed seven times by city employees.

Police detective Bennie Smith said Waldo was seated face-forward on the passenger side of the back seat, was fully clothed and had the car's ignition key in his possession when he was found.

[Major Robert Dump]

Look man, these are tough economic times, and the city needs money. Not ticketing him won't bring him back to life, now will it.

Actually, considering the city, I'd be willing to bet the parking cops had a quota to meet, did notice the body, and told a friend or two so they could work towards their quota, too. Can't be getting fired now can we?

[Major Robert Dump]

Wow. Just wow. Even the mutilated ones

http://news.cincinnati.com/article/2...0346/1055/NEWS

the guy is very ucky he wasn't wrongfully convicted of a rape/murder, although i think he would have deserved it

[Lemur]

Still going on about this crock-tosquid alliance? There's not one opposable thumb amongst them. I'm not worried.

You fool! They're here! THEY'RE ALREADY HERE!

For one dexterous octopus, an attempt at a great escape turned into a great flood Thursday at the Santa Monica Pier Aquarium in California.

The female California two-spotted octopus swam to the top of her tank, disassembled a valve with her powerful arm, and released at least 200 gallons (757 liters) of seawater into nearby exhibits and offices. [...]

Such high jinks are typical of the invertebrates' still unexplained smarts, experts say.

"Octopuses have a wonderful combination of intelligence, tremendous manipulative ability, curiosity, and strength," said Jennifer Mather, a psychology professor at Canada's University of Lethbridge who has studied cognition in octopuses.

"So the result is that everybody who has ever kept octopuses has a string of stories about how octopuses can go where they want in aquariums."

[Lemur]

Someone is disposing of placentas in a central Illinois sewage system, and authorities want it to stop.

Workers in Urbana on Thursday found a placenta in a filter that keeps large objects out of the sewage treatment plant — the third such find this year.

So police have enlisted medical experts. "It was one of the weirdest calls I've ever received," said Julie Pryde, who heads the Champaign-Urbana Public Health District.

Urbana Police Lt. Bryant Seraphin remembered: "She said, 'You found a WHAT in the WHERE?'"

The unprecedented finds have officials wondering if a midwife or veterinarian, stressed by economic woes, has been avoiding the expense of paying for a medical waste disposal service.

Police aren't aiming for an arrest, Seraphin said, and nobody suspects foul play. The umbilical cords, still attached, were cut clean.

Placentas are potentially infectious, although health officials said the risk to the public is low. They just want the dumping to stop and hope publicity will achieve that. They are keen on solving the mystery.

Storm sewers and toilets drain to the system, so those seem to be the likeliest routes, Pryde said, "but I don't think my personal toilet at home would be able to flush a placenta."

[Papewaio]

Oh, no opposable thumb, so I guess we've got nothing to worry about, since they'll never be able to ...

An octopus in Germany has learned how to open jars underwater. Frieda the four-month-old octopus demonstrates her special skill to stunned crowds at Hellabrunn Zoo in Munich every day. Keepers said Frieda puts her whole body over the jar and grips onto the lid with her suckers. She then quickly twists her body round to open the jar. And she's even figured out the difference between empty jars and ones which are filled with her fave snacks - crabs, clams and shrimps.

Aieeeeeee!

Wow, that must be a world first for females of all species.

[Lemur]

[Gregoshi]

Spay it, don't spray it.

[Pannonian]

Boy killed by exploding chair

A boy in China has been killed by an office chair after it exploded while he was sitting on it, according to reports.

The 14-year-old boy died from extensive bleeding after the chair’s gas cylinder burst, sending metal chair parts into his rectum.

While pictures of the chair have swept the internet, they did not reveal the boy's name or when the incident allegedly occurred.

A gas cylinder containing compressed air is typical of adjustable office chairs. An air valve operated by a side handle on the chair may be used to raise or lower the seat.

In 2007, another chair reportedly injured a person after exploding in China.

Newspapers said a 68-year-old man escaped with minor injuries after a 20cm chair piece pierced his bottom.

Be more creative with this one please. No PITA, as that's too obvious.

[Lemur]

Boy killed by exploding chair

You've got to get up pretty early in the morning to find a boy-killed-by-chair-that-explodes-up-anus story that I haven't already got covered.

[Pannonian]

You've got to get up pretty early in the morning to find a boy-killed-by-chair-that-explodes-up-anus story that I haven't already got covered.

Damn, I only checked as far back as the 22nd.

[InsaneApache]

Talking of anuses, a Geordie gets bummed to death on safari.....

http://www.newcastleunited-mad.co.uk...TMNW&id=435339

Dear me..

[Gregoshi]

You've got to get up pretty early in the morning to find a boy-killed-by-chair-that-explodes-up-anus story that I haven't already got covered.

Yup. Lemur was all over that one. I remember considering punning on "blue/blew" but thought better of it and left the story alone. Lucky you.

[Major Robert Dump]

Talking of anuses, a Geordie gets bummed to death on safari.....

http://www.newcastleunited-mad.co.uk...TMNW&id=435339

Dear me..

Reminds me of this classic, except this guy lived. Warning: fat man bum

http://www.guzer.com/videos/donkey_chase.php

[Husar]

Mother breastfeeding while driving...

There’s multitasking, and there’s taking leave of your senses.

Last week, Genine Compton, a mother living outside Dayton, Ohio, drove her children to school. Apparently the youngest — who police believe is a little less than two years old — needed to eat. Right away. Compton is still breastfeeding, so she took the girl on her lap in the driver’s seat, and, without stopping the Honda minivan, gave the girl breakfast.

Oh, and she was reportedly talking on her cellphone, at least part of the time.

And to think she even says she would do it again.

[Boyar Son]

i dont know this came across as rly rly rly weird...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/2698507.stm

[Gregoshi]

i dont know this came across as rly rly rly weird...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/2698507.stm

I thought faggot was a fireplace log in English english. Maybe that is what the article meant when it said that faggots "warm the belly" this time of year.

[Banquo's Ghost]

I thought faggot was a fireplace log in English english. Maybe that is what the article meant when it said that faggots "warm the belly" this time of year.

The word can mean a bundle of wood, usually meant for burning, rather than a single log. It is also a hearty meat dish, which is what Boyar Son is surely highlighting with his carefully researched article.

[Crazed Rabbit]

The word can mean a bundle of wood, usually meant for burning, rather than a single log. It is also a hearty meat dish, which is what Boyar Son is surely highlighting with his carefully researched article.

*snickers*

CR

[InsaneApache]

I used to love to get stuck into a couple of faggots come tea time. I can still remember the warm moist salty taste as I put them in my mouth. Delicious.

[Lemur]

Woman calls 911 three times over emergency lack of Chicken McNuggets

MARCH 3--Angered that her local McDonald's was out of Chicken McNuggets, a Florida woman called 911 three times to report the fast food "emergency." Latreasa Goodman, 27, last Saturday called police to complain that a cashier--citing a McDonald's all sales are final policy--would not give her a refund. When cops responded to the restaurant, Goodman told them, "This is an emergency. If I would have known they didn't have McNuggets, I wouldn't have given my money, and now she wants to give me a McDouble, but I don't want one." Goodman noted, "I called 911 because I couldn't get a refund, and I wanted my McNuggets," according to the below Fort Pierce Police Department report. That logic, however, did not keep cops from citing Goodman for misusing the 911 system. Even after being issued a misdemeanor citation, Goodman contended, "this is an emergency, my McNuggets are an emergency."

[Gregoshi]

Woman calls 911 three times over emergency lack of Chicken McNuggets

I've heard the expression "a few fries short of a Happy Meal" but never had the opportunity to use it - until now.

[Major Robert Dump]

what sad is that more than 1 person doing this is too many

burger wrong and no lemonade (may be a prank)
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive...rgerking1.html

rodeo burger wrong, the dispatcher trying to explain to this idiotic, spoiled soccer-mom that they aren't going to dispatch a deputy over a cheeseburger, unless its a deadly cheeseburger
http://www.break.com/index/burger_king_911.html

subway sandwich was 'posed to have sauce
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive...81subway1.html

they trying to charge me for extra nugget sauce (yeah because if they didn't people like you would ask for 20 sauces for a 6piece)
***bah, old 911 call link turned to spam, all the stories were on blogs and i can't find it on google because our new McNugget caller is dominating the headlines***

[Major Robert Dump]

I think she has a legitimate beef.

[Gregoshi]

I think she has a legitimate beef.

MRD, if you are talking about the McDonalds story, using the phrase "legitimate beef" is totally inappropriate.

[Lemur]

All we can do is cluck our tongues. Perhaps she was trying get some sort of lawsuit going to feather her nest?

[Husar]

Well, click here.
Then read the caption of picture 2, you will find out the shocking truth about a long-time .org member.

[Furunculus]

Man survives train+truck smash (awesome video):
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worl...and-lorry.html

[Crazed Rabbit]

Who wold you laugh more at; A man who fell down a portable toilet, or one who went down there on purpose?

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Johnson said the man, who asked police not to be identified, was unable to find his car keys after using the lavatory. Thinking his keys had fallen in the tank, the man removed a round plastic cover at the base of the toilet and climbed in to find them. Once inside he was unable to pull himself out, and waited until someone else arrived.

"He hadn't been there too long, only 10 or 15 minutes," Johnson said.

At least 10 emergency response personnel responded to the 911 call, according to Johnson and a dispatch supervisor at Southern Idaho Regional Communication Center.

Eventually the man was retrieved through an access hole used to pump the waste out of the tank.

"It took some lifting to get him out, and he had cut himself pretty good trying to get himself out," Johnson said.

The man was allowed to wash off with the fire truck hose at the scene, where he made another painful discovery.

"That's when he discovered the keys were still in his back pocket," Johnson said.

Also; Starcraft 101 at the University of California, Berkeley (with video).

The class website.

CR