There were actually times just out of college when things got so bad and rotten that I seriously considered suicide. I had the means, I had the plans, but my paternal grandfather committed suicide as did one of my dad's brothers shortly after, and I just couldn't put my father and grandma through that again as I'm not only my dads only child, but my grandmas only grandchild. Every time they visit those graves on memorial day they are both a mess for the rest of the day.

But honestly, that's the only thing that kept me from doing it. Oh, and I found the .org soon after.

I did not, however, talk about my plans with anyone. Ever. I have had plenty of friends and girlfriends who go "suicidal" only for it to be a cry for help or attention, so I have a special disdain for the ones who talk about it and use it as false threats. Exceptions are always available, of course.

Suicide does not always = mental instability. Many suicides are well-planned, well-executed, and the person in question will often seem at peace, seem happy and maybe even seem like they have a long term plan or goal mapped out, which I guess in a sort of way they do. I would be willing to wager that most People who really, really, really, really want to kill themselves don't advertise that fact.

But the false threats, grrr they make me so mad, are also used as a means for attention, which dilutes the attention from the people who are actually in need of help. It also desensitizes people from suicide threats, it lessens the impact of suicide prevention and in the long run it only hurts the people who truly need help.