View Full Version : Noble Sons II- Price for Peace [Concluded]
Askthepizzaguy
04-16-2009, 07:59
He is quite the manly hunk of sexy beef. RROOOOOWWRRRR.... Be sure to save me a big steaming mouthful of that juicy steak.
Beefy187
04-16-2009, 08:19
He is quite the manly hunk of sexy beef. RROOOOOWWRRRR.... Be sure to save me a big steaming mouthful of that juicy steak.
This is when you become Bowsor, kidnap the princess (Lacy) then gets your self beaten up by Mario (Yoyoma) on purpose.. I now know that Bowsor is not evil, but merely trying to help Mario hook up with Peach.
White_eyes:D
04-16-2009, 08:36
This is when you become Bowsor, kidnap the princess (Lacy) then gets your self beaten up by Mario (Yoyoma) on purpose.. I now know that Bowsor is not evil, but merely trying to help Mario hook up with Peach.
:laugh4: I love that......must have some Love and Peace in Noble Sons, huh?:clown:
Askthepizzaguy
04-16-2009, 08:38
This is when you become Bowsor, kidnap the princess (Lacy) then gets your self beaten up by Mario (Yoyoma) on purpose.. I now know that Bowsor is not evil, but merely trying to help Mario hook up with Peach.
I'm that guy that comes up to you in a bar and hits on your lady so you can punch me in the face and look cool in front of your gal. All you have to do is buy me a pizza and a beer and also, whatever medical expenses I incur.
I didn't know playing as Consul Lacy would be so much fun :laugh4:
But seriously, I would never allow Yoyoma to rescue me - Bowser so much more fun, specially with that wand of his :mellow:
White_eyes:D
04-16-2009, 09:25
Wouldn't she be about 50 years old by now???:inquisitive:
and didn't Sarsthos cut off her hand or something???:smash:
Beefy187
04-16-2009, 09:33
Mountain Range. Hungry Horde territory. Winter- 0BB
https://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb225/askthepizzaguy/HungryKhanateFlagSmall.jpg
The enemy approaches. Numbers... Too many to count but... Not as many as we thought they might send.
Khaan, waved his hand to send one of his men. To talk. Not to avoid blood shed, but to observe the enemy.
"Halt! I was sent by the order of the mighty Khaan of the Hungry Hordes! By whos orders are you here?"
The sudden movement of the enemy captain, stunned the scout. After 3 seconds, he realised he is not dead yet.. He slowly opened his eyes to see what the Captain was holding... A Flag
https://i387.photobucket.com/albums/oo312/mexico1910/noblesons/bullflagsmall.jpg
"Men of Shadow Bull. I assume you fully understand the crimes you commited."
"I do."
"You have entered our territory without our permission."
"To punish your crime. Living the vegetarian ways."
"Do you understand the situation? That if you take another step foward, you will be slaughtered?"
"If thats what fate want.. For us to die for the greater good then that is what we shall do."
"If your men surrenders, their life will be spared..."
"I refuse."
The scout saw fears in the enemies eyes.. So much fear, almost impossible for any professional armies to have. But at the same time, they had the determination. Strong will to fight for what believe is right.
"God speed my friend.. May your blade turn red with glory"
"God speed good scout. It was nice to know you"
.....................................................................
When the captain saw the Scout returning to his base, Captain faced his men to make a pre battle speech.
"Proud men of the Holy Theocracy!! Those who sacrificed their life to show your loyality to the true ways of Beef. Today... Your loyalities will be tested. Those men who stands in front of us.. Is the traitors. Traitors who sold their souls to vegetables. While we have more numbers, they have better weapons, trainings."
Captain took a quick glance at the enemy.
"We are in enemy soil. And we are destined to fall into a trap if the leader of the Hungry Horde is a fine general as he claims to be. Today.. Victory is impossible. But yet we march! We march because thats the right thing to do. And we fight till the last breathe. Take many of them down as possible! When the last one standing join the smiling coarpses. Our victory is achieved. For we have died loyal to the Beef! For we have served the Holy Theocracy of the Shadowbull!"
Captain started marching foward by him self, then looked over his shoulders to his comrades.
"We do not march to win today. We march because we were told to march. We march because that is what Beef wants us to do."
Captain spotted a young soldier, bursting into tears from the fears. He was barely old enough to stand in the front line.
"Smile soldier. You die for the Beef. Smile! I heard they never run out of steaks in heaven"
To this, tears came down from most of their cheeks. From Captains too. But at the same times, they were smiling. For they were happy to know that they were happy to know that steaks will be served to loyal Beef lovers in heaven.
"March!! March!! Who ever sheds the first blood gets two rib fillets!!"
They walked.. They jogged... Then they ran....
........................................
Khaan noticed the enemy, now running to their formation. They were more then 600 meters away. Foolish action. Fetal error. Making their men run for such long distance will only make them exausted in battle. Not only that but some of the hostiles were tripped and got stumped on by their own men. When they approached the 300 meters mark, Khaan calmly waved his hand. Sound of the drum echoed. The Horde marched in a organized formation. Then charged at the pathetic army. On his horse, Khaan recognized armies from three directions also approaching the hostile. And the battle was mostly done after the initial charge. The enemy was completely surrounded.
The army of the Hungry Hordes, proved that they are quite capable of killing. Efficiently slaughtering the enemy forces.
The knights of the Swiss Mongols were also skilled fighters and didn't even let the blades of Shadowbulls touch their horses.
It was surprising to see what the exiles were doing in their mysterious land. Cavalry armed to the teeth, charging... No... Completely smashing the hostile soldiers. While they didn't have the numbers, they were soo powerful that they could swim across the ocean of the hostile enemies without getting damaged. Then followed the mysteriouos moving building, pumping some kind of energy to the Exile cavalries. Shadowbull soldiers attempted to damage the building but it didn't seem even take a scratch.
The only dissapointment was to see Consulars army slowly retreating. While they did a great deal of damage in the intial charge, they were getting pushed back as the battle progressed. Noticing that part was the only weakness, Shadowbull warriors attempted to break through. Khaan sighed and raised his hand to order aid to the Consuls, but he soon realised his mistakes. When Consular cavarly came into the play, Khaan realised the whole thing was planned. Warriors of Shadowbull gave a good fight for another 40 seconds until all of them were no more.
.....................................
"Send word to the Theocracy, asking for their surrender.. We've killed their whole army" said the Khaan. Then he noticed something strange... Dead coarpses of the hostile soldiers... All smiling.
"True men they are" chuckled Pizza Khaan, ordering their men to get back into position.
....................................
At the same time... In the mountain range-0BB
"Send word to the Sacred orders of the Kobe Beef" he said. "It went just as planned."
Beefy187
04-16-2009, 09:35
Wouldn't she be about 50 years old by now???:inquisitive:
and didn't Sarsthos cut off her hand or something???:smash:
Thats Sarah. Lacy is her daughter I believe, but I'll let YLC confirm it
Beefy187
04-16-2009, 09:50
The Principality of Decapodia is now blockading the Exiles
The Consulate of Yaks, Liquor and Cheese has declared a blockade of Aresea as they have pushed the security of Consulate too far.
The holy city of the mountain tribes. Spring- 1BB
"Friends! Friends! Friends!! I am soo pleased to have you all in one piece!! Praise the lord!! Now lets gather around in circles and talk like friends yea? Promise?? Promise?? Goody!! :beam:
I'll get you all some tea!"
Commence meeting
Askthepizzaguy
04-16-2009, 09:53
Bah. That weakling army was just a ruse. When you have the courage to send a REAL army, we will be ready.
just wondering if there will be pms?
Askthepizzaguy
04-16-2009, 10:32
Pepperono looks slightly annoyed, and not at all overjoyed over such an honor-less victory. He stands in front of the group, surrounded by his guards, and speaks:
Now, armies of the Shadowbull, we are not so stupid as to think that was your entire force, or that you don't have some kind of plan in place. So I highly doubt we can come to honourable terms of peace this day. Nonetheless, I suppose we must offer it.
Unlike your friends, we offer reasonable terms of peace:
1. All crusades into our lands will cease immediately.
2. All warships sent towards our lands will turn around and never come near us again.
3. All charges of heresy and vegetarianism will drop against us, and never be spoken of again.
4. An apology will be rendered unto us, from you.
We don't want your territory, we don't want tribute, we don't want anything. Reparations would be nice, to pay for the lives of our deceased, few that they may be, but frankly that would only cause us more diplomatic hardship. These men died for our freedom, and as such, they went bravely and honorably, and there can be no greater way to die. However, we obviously didn't deserve any "victory" this day, for the force you sent was nothing more than a sacrificial lamb designed to spring the trap and see what we would do. Kind of obvious really. As such I wonder why I am wasting my time offering terms of peace; but unlike some... the Khan is a man of peace and regrets having to shed the blood of your, indeed, very brave soldiers. Fear is not an obstacle to bravery... it is the path of bravery. Your men fought and died well. There was little honor to be gained in their deaths, only the protection of our lands and people.
If there were ever a way of peace between us, you must realize that you could get what you want from us very easily; you want to send missionaries in to check on vegetarianism, which is fine. However, you must not threaten us when you do so. And you must also allow our merchants inside your lands to trade. We will not presume to spread the faith of the Pizza Lord inside your lands, unless you wanted to hear of him. All we want is peace and trade, and to be treated with civility as a people. These are not outrageous demands. We do not want your lands; we don't want to enslave or destroy your people, nor extinguish your faith. We seek to convert the veggie eaters towards a path of enlightened beef-eating. Perhaps you've heard of pizza? We offer pepperoni, beef, lamb, and even shrimp topping pizzas. Plenty of meat; and yes, we do indeed consume this meat. We are not veggie eaters. The veggie eaters, we hear, cannot be converted, and so therefore, like you we must drive them from these lands. But in the meantime, we won't tolerate being ordered around, and we won't tolerate unequal treatment from other nations just because we are outsiders who wish to settle in the POOREST lands of your island and just live out our lives in peace.
As for the conflict between the Consulate and the Aresea; though Aresea is close friends with the Reenk and Roink kingdoms who wish us dead, they have not declared war on us, and they have not declared war on our ally. As such, we support our ally but there is no conflict to intervene in militarily, and we do not declare any new wars. As for The Principality of Decapodia and the Exiles, we are friends of both, and this conflict pains us. Should open hostilities break out, our defensive pact agreements put us in a difficult position. We ask that this crisis be resolved by a neutral mediator. Otherwise, we would like to stay out of the internal affairs of these nations.
The Reenk and Roink kingdoms have said much of war but done nothing to us, and so therefore we must offer them peace and trade, as well as the Order of Sacred Kobe Beef, do we offer the same deal. Unless you're prepared to reject all our offers of peaceful coexistence and cooperation, and are instead committed to a path of genocide and intolerance, the time has come for this uncivilized behavior to come to an end. You will not destroy us, and so therefore you should make peace with us.
If you are prepared to continue this conflict, so are we, but we have no motive to do so except in our own defense. We would rather trade and eat pizza covered in meat, and wait until the veggies are discovered. Plus we have defensive commitments to our friends and allies.
There will be more said, I am sure; but peace has been offered to every nation here, as well as cooperation. The only ones we oppose are the veggie eaters, and those who insult us or try to harm our friends who stood by us and defended us. Pizzas are to be served to their noble leaders, and gifts of pizza shall be sent by our chefs, with oven forges as well, made of stone, sent to the lands of my noble allies, where we will cook them pizzas for as long as our alliance stands.
The Hungry Khan is no longer hungry, and his Hordes have decided to settle and cultivate the Crusty Valley with our new-found agricultural skills which we gained through peaceful cooperation. With no hunger, and since we are no longer a horde... perhaps we should seek a new name?
We entertain polite and sincere suggestions for this new name for our nation.
--Pepperono
Consul Lacy returns to the council clad in her formed breastplate, her white and black uniform stained with the toil and blood of the battlefield, and from the look in her eyes, it has yet to leave her. Her left hand rests idly upon her sword, her fingers rapping upon it impatiently. Her eyes dart hungrily, as she reflexively licks her lips clear of blood.
"Forgive me countenance, dear...members of the council, but as you can see, I've had much to attend to, and little time for myself. As you all know, Aresea has yet again tried to breach our borders with yet another spy, and we have set in place a blockade - all trade will be turned away from Aresea from now on, until Aresea gives in to our wishes. My terms are clear -
1. 1/3 of Aresea's army will be demobilized
2. Aresea will begin trading with the Consulate, upon the Consulates terms
3. Aresea will submit it's designs for ships to our engineers and scientists
4. Aresea will become a vassal of the Consulate, gaining it's protection but allowing the Consulate supreme executive decision upon military matters.
I am willing to agree to two of these four terms for peace. If Aresea continues to escalate in aggressive behavior, then I will have no choice to take overt action and forcefully submit Aresea to Consular rule - I am sure the people themselves will be much happier too."
"However, if Aresea concedes to our demands, then the blockade will be lifted and trade will resume."
Beefy187
04-16-2009, 12:01
just wondering if there will be pms?
If you poke me then you'll get pms. If you don't then I'm more then likely to forget :wall:
I'm only 17 for crying out loud.. Already losing memories..
FAQ: Hey Beefy! Your the veggie eater aren't you? Aren't you?? :inquisitive:
Well I straight on denied it. But answer is yes and no. As I'm neutral, my Meat/ Veggie ratio should be 50/50. But my victory condition is definitely not "take the world!" I mind my own business.
Theres two veggie eaters. Who knows each other so I think its quite balanced
Yoyoma1910
04-16-2009, 14:12
Consul Lacy returns to the council clad in her formed breastplate, her white and black uniform stained with the toil and blood of the battlefield, and from the look in her eyes, it has yet to leave her. Her left hand rests idly upon her sword, her fingers rapping upon it impatiently. Her eyes dart hungrily, as she reflexively licks her lips clear of blood.
"Forgive me countenance, dear...members of the council, but as you can see, I've had much to attend to, and little time for myself. As you all know, Aresea has yet again tried to breach our borders with yet another spy, and we have set in place a blockade - all trade will be turned away from Aresea from now on, until Aresea gives in to our wishes. My terms are clear -
1. 1/3 of Aresea's army will be demobilized
2. Aresea will begin trading with the Consulate, upon the Consulates terms
3. Aresea will submit it's designs for ships to our engineers and scientists
4. Aresea will become a vassal of the Consulate, gaining it's protection but allowing the Consulate supreme executive decision upon military matters.
I am willing to agree to two of these four terms for peace. If Aresea continues to escalate in aggressive behavior, then I will have no choice to take overt action and forcefully submit Aresea to Consular rule - I am sure the people themselves will be much happier too."
"However, if Aresea concedes to our demands, then the blockade will be lifted and trade will resume."
Excuse me, but you may not realize that one of Aresea's major trade partners is Beefdom. And Beefdom takes its trade very seriously. Perhaps it would not bother us so much, but we're getting rather tired of the rising closed door fiscal policies that seems to be popping up in the way of our ships.
My own personal advice is that you not try to stop the ships of our nation. We use the goods we tade with Aresea to make an amazing substance called "Asper Inn," named of course for the tavern that initially invented and marketed it. With out this "Asper Inn" our Amazonians become extremely enraged for an entire week out of every month. Even more so than normal even.
5 hours earlier...
Roy the Mad walked into the room confidently - the first stage of DA UBER PLAN is reaching its conclusion, and soon, very soon, the crusaders would burn the Khanate to the ground...
A messenger pidgeon flew into the meeting, dripping blood everywhere (mostly due to the 3 arrows in its chest, but some came from the broken left wing). It landed haphazardly on Roy the Mad's shoulder, and a small scroll attached to its leg fell out. (Turns out the leg was nearly cut completely through by a blade of some sort as well)
Roy read the scroll.
He was not happy by the time he finished the last bloodstained word.
Now...
"Fellow ambassadors/kings/Consuls/Veggie Cultists, I address all of you, but mostly the Right Honourable Consul."
"Am I right in thinking that the Consulate has sided with the heretic Khanate and their foul allies?"
:inquisitive:
Edit: Ignore this, Roy the Mad hasn't been paying attention...
Reenk Roink
04-16-2009, 15:46
I tore up the letter from the heretic latrine cleaner who calls himself a king, threw a shoe at his messenger telling him to go back and give the warnings of many shoe throwings to the heretic latrine cleaner when I invade his land and rob his people of their lives and wealth. I also enslaved the messenger's wife because she was kinda hot. Please tell me what he wrote. :bow:
These threats by the other heretic latrine cleaner who likes Yogurt on the lands most noble of kings Ares the Thermal Mercury have made me decide to focus my attentions on total war on him for the time being. With that being said, if any of my allies wish otherwise, please contact me.
To my dearest allies and upholders of orthodoxy: Please forgive me for my inaction if I was supposed to something, for I was heading to my modest temple complex to address basic duties of government when a very pretty girl caught my eye, so I simply had to take her out and romance her.
I am sending the greatest general in the land Reenkazoid the Victor to the northwest corners of our lands. After consulting with my orthodox friends I will tell him which heretic latrine cleaner will face terrible war.
Lastly let it be known publicly (as all my orthodox friends already know) that I have no desire to actually conquer and occupy other peoples lands. Simply to uphold orthodoxy and get into fights with my enemies. :2thumbsup:
:stupido: Reenkmaistro: Ruler of the Twin Kingdoms and the Sword of Orthodoxy
For the Dear Brothers who died in battle - may you all go to heaven with 72 pieces of virgin Kobe Steaks
Greyblades
04-16-2009, 16:43
Well, it seems that Quintus doesnt like it when his terrorists fail badly, I will apologise only if you refain from sending more madmen into my relm and publically appear with respect at the funerals of the men who died senslessly. If you think I will pay for your mistake think again! Allso as I am an "exile" what make you think I have any overseas trade to blockade?
Reenk Roink
04-16-2009, 16:55
I have been finally getting to read ALL the letters and correspondence to catch up (I have been myopic in my hostility to the heretics and my friendship with the orthodox so far and have ignored less blatant but still important matters :shame:)
I must say one thing:
Um please dont kill my kingdom off because of my predecessors annoying tendancies.
and Greyblades is waffling on his responsibilities.
Well maybe you expect too much. I'm not white eyes Im new at the rules I'm reeling in confusion and quintus has been commiting terrorist actions in my contry so I am not having a good day.
This king has clearly been given the gift of humor from the divine bovine. :laugh4::laugh4::laugh4: :2thumbsup:
The consulate look for an excuse for war, we will not be bullied by a nation so feeble.
You say you will overpower us yet you require our ship designs to do so.
You really think a blockade bothers us? I suggest you remove it, we are kind and so we give you the warning, for God help you if we have to travel to our ports and remove the blockades with our own navy, your ships will be non-existent.
Production of the gigantic whale mounted 6000 ton caravel has finished, it will visit your nation if you do not scarper.
Tell us why your so convinced your paranoia points at us spying on you, what evidence? Would any sensible spy tell you who rules over them anyway? Quite a see through reason for war. Leave now or die, you have been warned as appropriately as anyone could warn, as our army approaches you for each second you remain in my lands.
Now, armies of the Shadowbull, we are not so stupid as to think that was your entire force, or that you don't have some kind of plan in place. So I highly doubt we can come to honourable terms of peace this day. Nonetheless, I suppose we must offer it.
Unlike your friends, we offer reasonable terms of peace:
1. All crusades into our lands will cease immediately.
2. All warships sent towards our lands will turn around and never come near us again.
3. All charges of heresy and vegetarianism will drop against us, and never be spoken of again.
4. An apology will be rendered unto us, from you.
We don't want your territory, we don't want tribute, we don't want anything. Reparations would be nice, to pay for the lives of our deceased, few that they may be, but frankly that would only cause us more diplomatic hardship. These men died for our freedom, and as such, they went bravely and honorably, and there can be no greater way to die. However, we obviously didn't deserve any "victory" this day, for the force you sent was nothing more than a sacrificial lamb designed to spring the trap and see what we would do. Kind of obvious really. As such I wonder why I am wasting my time offering terms of peace; but unlike some... the Khan is a man of peace and regrets having to shed the blood of your, indeed, very brave soldiers. Fear is not an obstacle to bravery... it is the path of bravery. Your men fought and died well. There was little honor to be gained in their deaths, only the protection of our lands and people.
If there were ever a way of peace between us, you must realize that you could get what you want from us very easily; you want to send missionaries in to check on vegetarianism, which is fine. However, you must not threaten us when you do so. And you must also allow our merchants inside your lands to trade. We will not presume to spread the faith of the Pizza Lord inside your lands, unless you wanted to hear of him. All we want is peace and trade, and to be treated with civility as a people. These are not outrageous demands. We do not want your lands; we don't want to enslave or destroy your people, nor extinguish your faith. We seek to convert the veggie eaters towards a path of enlightened beef-eating. Perhaps you've heard of pizza? We offer pepperoni, beef, lamb, and even shrimp topping pizzas. Plenty of meat; and yes, we do indeed consume this meat. We are not veggie eaters. The veggie eaters, we hear, cannot be converted, and so therefore, like you we must drive them from these lands. But in the meantime, we won't tolerate being ordered around, and we won't tolerate unequal treatment from other nations just because we are outsiders who wish to settle in the POOREST lands of your island and just live out our lives in peace.
As for the conflict between the Consulate and the Aresea; though Aresea is close friends with the Reenk and Roink kingdoms who wish us dead, they have not declared war on us, and they have not declared war on our ally. As such, we support our ally but there is no conflict to intervene in militarily, and we do not declare any new wars. As for The Principality of Decapodia and the Exiles, we are friends of both, and this conflict pains us. Should open hostilities break out, our defensive pact agreements put us in a difficult position. We ask that this crisis be resolved by a neutral mediator. Otherwise, we would like to stay out of the internal affairs of these nations.
The Reenk and Roink kingdoms have said much of war but done nothing to us, and so therefore we must offer them peace and trade, as well as the Order of Sacred Kobe Beef, do we offer the same deal. Unless you're prepared to reject all our offers of peaceful coexistence and cooperation, and are instead committed to a path of genocide and intolerance, the time has come for this uncivilized behavior to come to an end. You will not destroy us, and so therefore you should make peace with us.
If you are prepared to continue this conflict, so are we, but we have no motive to do so except in our own defense. We would rather trade and eat pizza covered in meat, and wait until the veggies are discovered. Plus we have defensive commitments to our friends and allies.
There will be more said, I am sure; but peace has been offered to every nation here, as well as cooperation. The only ones we oppose are the veggie eaters, and those who insult us or try to harm our friends who stood by us and defended us. Pizzas are to be served to their noble leaders, and gifts of pizza shall be sent by our chefs, with oven forges as well, made of stone, sent to the lands of my noble allies, where we will cook them pizzas for as long as our alliance stands.
The Hungry Khan is no longer hungry, and his Hordes have decided to settle and cultivate the Crusty Valley with our new-found agricultural skills which we gained through peaceful cooperation. With no hunger, and since we are no longer a horde... perhaps we should seek a new name?
We entertain polite and sincere suggestions for this new name for our nation.
--Pepperono
So now you are allowing our missionaries to go into your country and check for signs of heresy?
Quite a change from before :yes: IF you have nothing to hide, why did you refuse last time? :inquisitive:
I shall send this message to the Grand Theocratic Council - They shall decide if your peace offer is worthwhile.
Excuse me, but you may not realize that one of Aresea's major trade partners is Beefdom. And Beefdom takes its trade very seriously. Perhaps it would not bother us so much, but we're getting rather tired of the rising closed door fiscal policies that seems to be popping up in the way of our ships.
My own personal advice is that you not try to stop the ships of our nation. We use the goods we tade with Aresea to make an amazing substance called "Asper Inn," named of course for the tavern that initially invented and marketed it. With out this "Asper Inn" our Amazonians become extremely enraged for an entire week out of every month. Even more so than normal even.
"I know your a major trade partner! I know many people trade with Aresea! I also know Aresea has tried twice to send spies across into the Consulate, yet no one here finds that objectionable!? I am not allowed to act in my nations best interest?"
Lacy's eyes narrow and a hint of hurt flashes across her face.
"As to the Amazons - that's your issue, your choice"
The consulate look for an excuse for war, we will not be bullied by a nation so feeble.
You say you will overpower us yet you require our ship designs to do so.
You really think a blockade bothers us? I suggest you remove it, we are kind and so we give you the warning, for God help you if we have to travel to our ports and remove the blockades with our own navy, your ships will be non-existent.
Production of the gigantic whale mounted 6000 ton caravel has finished, it will visit your nation if you do not scarper.
Tell us why your so convinced your paranoia points at us spying on you, what evidence? Would any sensible spy tell you who rules over them anyway? Quite a see through reason for war. Leave now or die, you have been warned as appropriately as anyone could warn, as our army approaches you for each second you remain in my lands.
Lacy turns to the representative from Aresea.
"We don't need your ship designs to overpower you, we are more then capable of doing that now. We ask for that out of scientific curiosity. Do not mistake my kindness for weakness, do not mistake my caution for fear. We can, and will, hold on our position unless you concede."
Reenk Roink
04-16-2009, 19:54
So now you are allowing our missionaries to go into your country and check for signs of heresy?
Quite a change from before :yes: IF you have nothing to hide, why did you refuse last time? :inquisitive:
I shall send this message to the Grand Theocratic Council - They shall decide if your peace offer is worthwhile.
Greetings your holiness :bow:
We have heard from his holiness taka that you are also indeed one of the orthodox although your actions showed as much as well.
Know that you have no reason to fear the heretics as my sword is at your command.
We strongly discourage peace with the nations of the pizza khaan and YLC. The pizza khaan has proven himself to be deceitful and unwilling to actually make peace.
Note how I offered the pizza khaan very light conditions after HE HIMSELF asked for peace and he responded in the usual heretic way: making a bad joke insult.
His words should be disregarded completely, and his people should be liberated from their false idols or forcibly converted if they have already fallen.
The pizza khaan himself and his top advisers should not even have the option of conversion. Rather let every last drop of blood be shed as despite the many chances given to them, they will not believe.
:stupido: Reenkmaistro: Servant of the Beef and the People of the Twin Kingdoms and the Sword of Orthodoxy
My consulate, If we ruin your ships you cannot invade our sea faring nation, and that will be no problem I assure you, at least this will stop you doing something you will regret.
Greyblades
04-16-2009, 20:14
One thing I dont get is where the heck is quintus? Heck he hasnt even posted since page 5. If he is so mad at his terrorists being catured and dismembered why isnt he trying to get everyone to try to kill me?
Quintus.JC
04-16-2009, 20:16
Well, it seems that Quintus doesnt like it when his terrorists fail badly, I will apologise only if you refain from sending more madmen into my relm and publically appear with respect at the funerals of the men who died senslessly. If you think I will pay for your mistake think again! Allso as I am an "exile" what make you think I have any overseas trade to blockade?
And what makes you so sure that it was my men who did it? You senseless buffoon! Do you have any evidence, or anything remotely points towards me, apart from your vacuous accusations or an empty plot.
You indeed do not have any sea trade lanes to blockade; it appears I might have over-estimated the richness and development of your kingdom….
Grand Prince Quintus V
Greyblades
04-16-2009, 20:21
Beefy told me about a terrorist that wore your country's colours who killed 2 people before being captured.
Edit: I looked it up and Thermals right, no I cannot quote PM's, whoops.
I don't think your even allowed to do that... :inquisitive:
Askthepizzaguy
04-16-2009, 21:09
The Hungry Khan rides to the meeting place. He wears a modest outfit, unusual for the leader of a powerful army. It appears this is how he was able to reach the meeting undetected. The man was flanked by very large bodyguards on horseback, and a small group of followers. The Khan approached the representatives of King Yoyoma II, and with a nod, he indicated his respect towards that nation. He did the same for the representative of the Consulate, and of the Swissland, and of the Exiles, and of the Decapodians. He walked right past the thing from Roink whatever, and smiled towards Buranda and also, the great master Beefy. To the representatives of ShadowBull and Kobe beef, he approached. He summoned a guard who approached with a package. It was some kind of leather knapsack, with steam coming from holes on the side of it. The package was opened, and a large, flat, circular object was placed on the table of the emissaries, and sliced into many pieces. The Hungry Khan bowed slightly, and took one slice of the pizza and ate it. "It is not poison, and it is covered in freshly cooked beef. I believe you will find it acceptable. If not... more pizza for us." The Khan ordered wine to be poured, and drank of some of the wine, and then walked to a spot where all the tables were facing, and addressed the representatives.
"We have been eating meat with our pizza for thousands of years, ever since the first pizza was baked in the very first oven. We hide nothing from this council; not our friendships, not our trade partnerships, nor our intentions. And certainly not vegetarianism. Know this; we are ready to make peace with every nation here except for one. Either my horde survives, or the entire royal family of Reenk and Roink are removed from power, and their lands be made into our vassal state. I roll my eyes, repeatedly, at their disingenuous displays of piety, as well as their hypocritical accusations of deception. My patience with this band of lawless mercenaries is at an end, and consider it a diplomatic demerit for anyone to entertain ties with them. However, we will not declare war on friends of the Roink and the Reenk, we simply will regard them with much caution. Reenk has rejected our offers of peace and is trying to disrupt our peace talks, and as such, they are hardly a nation of peace. They are a nation of instigators, thugs, and cowards. They mistake our compassion for their people as being a sign of weakness, and they mistake our prudence in watching for spies and instigators in our own lands as impiety. Though we eat the same beef as them, they continue to accuse us wrongly of vegetarianism, and furthermore, they accuse us of being impious, without ever having seen the way our people live.
Finally, our spies report that they were likely the ones responsible for the terrorist attacks which started the conflict between the Decapodians and the Exiles. Our allies know that starting a war against the other will cause US to side against them and with their enemy. As such they have NO motive for war with one another. Meanwhile, a man of lies and warfare sits across their border. Reenk and Roink instigated this conflict, and for that, we are prepared to declare a jihad. I ask that Decapod and Exiles accept that the "terrorist" was not from either nation, and that our intelligence reports suggest it came from elsewhere. It seems clear to me, a band of mercenaries who feign piety, sell their loyalties to the highest bidder, and do not even send troops to a war, are only interested in STARTING conflicts and allowing others to destroy one another. Such is Reenk, such is Roink. They are the traitors among us, and word is that they do not accept the Word of the Cattle God either. Let it be known that we have relented, and we allow the Word of the Cattle God to be spoken in OUR lands.
The people of Reenk and Roink are most likely, good people. But their brutal and tyrannical dictatorship must be brought down, and a new government in its place. We do not even want their lands, but we will accept temporary custodianship of the land until a suitable Kingdom they will serve.
With the will of the Pizza Lord, with the recent conversion to the Word of the Cattle God, with the might and wisdom of Pizz-Tsu on our side, and the teachings of Cheesefucius and Cheesus Chrust, with the authority vested in me as Khan of all Pizzadom, I declare a Chee-had against the infidel swine of Reenk and Roink."
The soldiers of Pizzadom started ululating:
Za-za-za-za-za-za-za-za-za-za-za-za-zaaaaaa!!!!
Tunaface was puzzled as to why the khan ignored him.
Roy eats the pizza ravenously.
Roy feels good!
Tunaface was puzzled as to why the khan ignored him.
Consul Lacy continues to develop her mind reading powers over Tunaface....
Askthepizzaguy
04-16-2009, 21:24
Tunaface was puzzled as to why the khan ignored him.
We had to declare war on your allies... as such, we were uncertain how you would react. I suspect you would wish to leap to his defense. I offer you our most solemn apologies... we do not want war with you, Tunaface. We would send tidings of pizza and attempt to mediate your conflict with our allies, if it please you.
I wonder if you are willing to still have peace with us, though your ally is our blood enemy and a traitor of all Greater Beefdom. We ask that you remain neutral in this matter; if your friendship with him is greater than that of a trade partnership, which we suspect, then we will not be personally offended should you choose to side with him in this war. Your devotion to your friends is admirable, but I worry that your friend is not worthy of such devotion.
We would offer you reparations, if they be reasonable demands.
vote: Reenk Roink
That isn't my question, it is whether you will support the consulate in there unjust war against me.
vote: YLC
Askthepizzaguy
04-16-2009, 21:30
That isn't my question, it is whether you will support the consulate in there unjust war against me.
vote: YLC
If you will unvote YLC, then I will mediate the dispute with our allies and see if I cannot offer my protection of his waters, and also, offer him some form of tribute for unblockading your ports.
If you declare full-scale war against the Consulate, then we will be forced to defend his lands as per our agreement, but we will not invade you.
-Generalissimo Greenpepperous the Great, Khan of the Hungry Horde.
Greyblades
04-16-2009, 21:41
Finally, our spies report that they were likely the ones responsible for the terrorist attacks which started the conflict between the Decapodians and the Exiles. Our allies know that starting a war against the other will cause US to side against them and with their enemy. As such they have NO motive for war with one another. Meanwhile, a man of lies and warfare sits across their border. Reenk and Roink instigated this conflict, and for that, we are prepared to declare a jihad. I ask that Decapod and Exiles accept that the "terrorist" was not from either nation, and that our intelligence reports suggest it came from elsewhere. It seems clear to me, a band of mercenaries who feign piety, sell their loyalties to the highest bidder, and do not even send troops to a war, are only interested in STARTING conflicts and allowing others to destroy one another. Such is Reenk, such is Roink. They are the traitors among us, and word is that they do not accept the Word of the Cattle God either. Let it be known that we have relented, and we allow the Word of the Cattle God to be spoken in OUR lands.
The people of Reenk and Roink are most likely, good people. But their brutal and tyrannical dictatorship must be brought down, and a new government in its place. We do not even want their lands, but we will accept temporary custodianship of the land until a suitable Kingdom they will serve.
I had apsolutely no intent of waring with Quintus, I would have forgotten it if the writeup hadn't practically screamed in my face that he wanted retribution for something I had believed he had started.
Askthepizzaguy
04-16-2009, 21:41
I had apsolutely no intent of waring with Quintus, I would have forgotten it if the writeup hadn't practically screamed in my face that he wanted retribution for something I had believed he had started.
He's done nothing to you, or my intelligence gatherers will be executed.
You have an excellent mind Khan, a great strategist. You are able to twist information into your own use and to then declare a jihad.
Shame that you are so deceitful.
I'm sure that if we were allies, we could make a very powerful duo. But I simply cannot trust you.
Greyblades
04-16-2009, 21:48
My nation state of exiles is trying to gain recognition and as such each able man and woman is a comodity we cannot aford lose for an inadequate reason such as terrorism. We thought sending his terrorist back in peices would be enough to stop further attacks from happening.
Askthepizzaguy
04-16-2009, 21:51
You have an excellent mind Khan, a great strategist. You are able to twist information into your own use and to then declare a jihad.
Shame that you are so deceitful.
I'm sure that if we were allies, we could make a very powerful duo. But I simply cannot trust you.
Kobe Beef-
We do not ask you to blindly trust us. Our allegations are very damaging to your friends of Reenk and Roink. We are not asking you to back down from us, or give in to our demands of anything, or even to neglect the defense of your ally, Reenk and Roink. Know this: When his vegetarianism is exposed, we will go back to our lands, and our armies will remain there unless they are needed to defend an ally. We will not beg you for peace, but we will not invade you either. In time, perhaps there can be a cease-fire, but even if you will not sign one, all you must do to avoid bloodshed is keep out of ours and our allies' lands, as you have done.
:bow:
By the way, do you have any reason not to try the beef-covered pizza I have given you?
I swear on my own head that The Twin Kingdom of Reenk and Roink are meat eaters (beef to be more specific). I have done my investigation and their eating habits of beef may even surpass my own. Only because of that we have allied ourselves with them. we do not make friends with vegetarians.
If your proposal was given last year, we may have considered it, but it is too late now and we do not trust you will keep your words. as i said, you are too deceitful.
Conflict cannot be dissolved, and we will back up our friends with all our forces if a so called jihad is initiated.
I will not consume your pizza because i do not trust you. also i already had dinner.
Quintus.JC
04-16-2009, 22:10
My nation state of exiles is trying to gain recognition and as such each able man and woman is a comodity we cannot aford lose for an inadequate reason such as terrorism. We thought sending his terrorist back in peices would be enough to stop further attacks from happening.
Sending the attacker’s hands to our delegates or even me (the Prince) would have been acceptable, even though a few angry words would have been fling, but in the end we’re all men, and we could discuss these stuff before any transgressions need to be taken. However sending a pair of severed hands to my queen mother is definitely intolerable! She fainted in shock after seeing them. You’re just fortunate this whole affair played no part in the death of my father, or else you’ll be very sorry.
As things appears, however, it seems that we’re both been tricked. Somebody else must have sent the men to your capital with ill intentions, the Decapodian uniform was an obvious ploy to rouse angry response from you, and you fooled for it. What ever happened might not be entirely your fault, but I must criticise your decision to retaliate without a thought. Your action appeared to be clear provocation to me, and as a new ruler, I cannot appear to be remotely weak in the face of an apparent enemy. In light of this new info I’m willing cancel the previous terms which might seemed unreasonable, however I must still demand a public apology to my Queen mother for your thoughtless actions.
Grand Prince Quintus V
Greyblades
04-16-2009, 22:13
...mother? They were meant for your wife! Beefy!
I had thought you were responsible for killing 2 of my citizens and injuring 5 so at the time my response seemed justified.
Askthepizzaguy
04-16-2009, 22:15
I swear on my own head that The Twin Kingdom of Reenk and Roink are meat eaters (beef to be more specific). I have done my investigation and their eating habits of beef may even surpass my own. Only because of that we have allied ourselves with them. we do not make friends with vegetarians.
If your proposal was given last year, we may have considered it, but it is too late now and we do not trust you will keep your words. as i said, you are too deceitful.
Conflict cannot be dissolved, and we will back up our friends with all our forces if a so called jihad is initiated.
I will not consume your pizza because i do not trust you. also i already had dinner.
These words are basically a confession of guilt. I am supposed to take YOUR word that you're both beef-eaters, though you refuse missionaries to your lands, though Reenk is clearly the aggressor in conflicts all across this land, and though YOU refuse to eat BEEF which your own allies have been willing to eat.
You're no true beefeater. You're a disgrace to the sanctity of Beef. Or perhaps, you worship beef so much that you consider it a sin to eat it!
Quintus.JC
04-16-2009, 22:18
...mother? They were meant for your wife! Beefy!
I had thought you were responsible for killing 2 of my citizens and injuring 5 so at the time my response seemed justified.
OCC: I had the old meek Prince Secundus killed of natural diseases (read the write-ups by Beefy), now I’m in charge. :grin:
And yes I do want the apology, gimme it. :whip:
Askthepizzaguy
04-16-2009, 22:20
If bloodshed could be stopped by an apology, I request that one is offered, from BOTH sides.
Your friend wishes it greatly. :bow:
Greyblades
04-16-2009, 22:21
Ok I apologise. But, I still expect you to attend the funeral, if not as a way of saying sorry, but out of respect to those who were killed in a foreign attempt just to spark war between us.
Askthepizzaguy
04-16-2009, 22:23
Many of our royal family will attend this funeral, should we be invited. The Khan himself must remain in command of his army, as well as his heir.
Greyblades
04-16-2009, 22:27
Its a state funeral so all are invited, but you will be searched for weapons by new methods including magnets and your guards must be kept under the supervision of my Guardsmen. Be warned any assassination attempts will result in the imprisonment of all of the assailants associates and other suspects, no bail.
These words are basically a confession of guilt. I am supposed to take YOUR word that you're both beef-eaters, though you refuse missionaries to your lands, though Reenk is clearly the aggressor in conflicts all across this land, and though YOU refuse to eat BEEF which your own allies have been willing to eat.
You're no true beefeater. You're a disgrace to the sanctity of Beef. Or perhaps, you worship beef so much that you consider it a sin to eat it!
ahh~ most twists of words, i like it. you should publish "Pizza Khan's Art of Word Twisting". i'm sure it will be a great seller.
and ive never refused missionaries, you must be thinking about yourself, vegetarian.
and its not that i refuse to eat beef. i refuse to eat your pizza.
*picks beef off the pizza toppings with skewer and chomps*
Askthepizzaguy
04-16-2009, 22:38
ahh~ most twists of words, i like it. you should publish "Pizza Khan's Art of Word Twisting". i'm sure it will be a great seller.
and ive never refused missionaries, you must be thinking about yourself, vegetarian.
and its not that i refuse to eat beef. i refuse to eat your pizza.
*picks beef off the pizza toppings with skewer and chomps*
:inquisitive:
We are impressed that you would eat the beef. To be honest, we weren't expecting that. However, a lie was spoken to us. As such, we are very wary of you until we can resolve this matter.
You can accuse us all day of twisting words, but since you won't even CONSIDER the possibility that they could be valid, we have reason to believe you've lost your objectivity somehow. Perhaps Reenk has clouded your mind, or perhaps it is not you who are the beefeaters and you truly believe that somehow, we are. But missionaries are allowed into our lands to check for vegetarianism now, and if any is found, we will be exposed. As such, benefit of the doubt should be extended to us, as we have extended it to you.
Its a state funeral so all are invited, but you will be searched for weapons by new methods including magnets and your guards must be kept under the supervision of my Guardsmen. Be warned any assassination attempts will result in the imprisonment of all of the assailants associates and other suspects, no bail.
Assassinations are honorless. The Khan would rather march his people into the sea and drown.
Greyblades
04-16-2009, 22:44
That was a warning to everyone who will arrive not just the Khanate. I have allready had people die senselessy in my city I will not tolerate more.
Oh and that will be pretty much my night action: all my troops defending the capital and outlying areas. I would request that all of you would put off your own wars untill the end.
Not that I expect you to...
A rather nervous Roy walked into the meeting, bearing a scroll.
"His Holiness greets his fellow eminent leaders", he read from athe scroll.
"His Holiness, in his Beefy wisdom, decided that power, whether military, financial or personal, are not desirable for the Holy Theocracy, and that henceforth, the Theocracy will WITHDRAW from all alliances/wars/entanglements with ALL NATIONS. Instead, our only aim will be to find the Veggie Cultists through whatever means possible, including war - but only after thorough investigation shall a new Crusade be declared."
"Also, all nations who has yet allowed the missionaries to journey into your lands, and you know who you are - I hope your eminent leaders will change their opinions. For it is of a vital importance that the Veggies be discovered, and we cannot do so without our missionaries and Inquisitors finding those vital pieces of information."
Vote: Abstain
Unvote: ATPG
Un-crusade: ATPG
Un-curse: ATPG
Un-ally: My Allies
Quintus.JC
04-16-2009, 22:49
Ok I apologise. But, I still expect you to attend the funeral, if not as a way of saying sorry, but out of respect to those who were killed in a foreign attempt just to spark war between us.
OOC: Fair enough, Prince Quintus won’t be attending personally (too much hassle, all that recent conflicts don’t look nice, plus he sees this as a concession), so I'll send Prince Septimus (third born and second son, damn the Decapodian family tree is compicated…) and ambassador Ostracod instead. Septimus can bring some mirth to the occasion, while Ostracod knows enough to keep it formal.
For reference sake so this won’t happen in the future, here’s the royal family tree.
Grand Prince Secundus II is married to Flavia Medici
They have four children that survived infancy:
First child
First born daughter Una
Traits: serene, pious, honest
Second child
First born son Quintus (Current Grand Prince)
Traits: Shrewd, resourceful, pragmatic
Third child
Second born son Septimus
Traits: inattentive, dandy, gifted
Fourth Child
Second daughter Eleonora
Traits: wayward, determined, tomboy
Gah there’s plenty of nobles, merchants and army fellas all got traits, too many characters… I keep on thinking this as interactive history, in a way it is really similar, but still not the same.
Askthepizzaguy
04-16-2009, 22:54
That was a warning to everyone who will arrive not just the Khanate. Oh and that will be pretty much my night action: all my troops defending the capital and outlying areas. I would request that all of you would put off your own wars untill the end.
Not that I expect you to...
If it would bring peace between you and Decapodia, and the conflict between Aresea and Consulate can be resolved, then I am willing to risk invasion by the crusaders and the mercenaries. We will fight bravely to the death, in the name of freedom and justice. We would need time to make jihad warriors anyway. But know this; Reenk and Roink have very little choice but to surrender immediately, or face an inspection for vegetarianism inside their own borders, from our armed forces. The Chee-had has been called, and it will take much to convince our holy men to call it off.
A rather nervous Roy walked into the meeting, bearing a scroll.
As for the Shadowbull people- your measured response pleases us. While we are not fool enough to discount the possibility that we are being deceived, but you appear to be acting in the name of peace and in the name of Beef. How can we not applaud this? Your neutrality in these matters tells us that you want to gain nothing from the conflicts of others. Should your neutrality be violated, we would take that as an offense against the concept of peace itself. Neutral countries, like Master Beefy's nation, should have their sovereignty and rights respected. We would wish to establish trade relations with you, at the earliest possible convenience, by the way, if you desire such.
I take it that the Missionaries are allowed to enter the Khanate?
Greyblades
04-16-2009, 22:59
If it would bring peace between you and Decapodia, and the conflict between Aresea and Consulate can be resolved, then I am willing to risk invasion by the crusaders and the mercenaries. We will fight bravely to the death, in the name of freedom and justice. We would need time to make jihad warriors anyway. But know this; Reenk and Roink have very little choice but to surrender immediately, or face an inspection for vegetarianism inside their own borders, from our armed forces. The Chee-had has been called, and it will take much to convince our holy men to call it off.
I never said you had to. Its just a request sort of a five minute silence in respect. And I wont retaliate or anything if you attack someone.
Askthepizzaguy
04-16-2009, 23:00
I take it that the Missionaries are allowed to enter the Khanate?
Your warriors have already entered our lands, and I highly doubt that all of them are dead, or if the battle was not merely a ruse to distract from spies entering our lands already. Whatever the case may be, we already consider your agents to be inside our borders I am sure.
However, sure, you can send missionaries. Our people are embracing the Beef religion already.
All half-dead peasants will drag themselves back to the Theocracy, Mighty Khan. :bow:
Askthepizzaguy
04-16-2009, 23:05
All half-dead peasants will drag themselves back to the Theocracy, Mighty Khan. :bow:
I was a clever deception, to be sure, but if that is the case, know that we suspected it from the very beginning. That is a nifty maneuver, but our people are imaginative and expect the unexpected from such a cunning class of warriors as yourselves. Fortunately for any survivors, we do not desecrate the dead nor do we burn their bodies. We were just about to bury them with honor, so if any are alive, best they scamper soon.
But missionaries are allowed into our lands to check for vegetarianism now, and if any is found, we will be exposed.
Is this your final answer?
if yes you have much to gain, if no we will remain
Askthepizzaguy
04-16-2009, 23:09
Is this your final answer?
if yes you have much to gain, if no we will remain
Absolutely. My word is my bond, and though we are occasionally required to keep some part of the truth hidden (as is the case in war), here we can be completely honest. Since our security is already breached, nothing is left to defend but our honor. So let them come.
let me consider... it has suddenly been way too easy for you to let us in... i still have doubts
Askthepizzaguy
04-16-2009, 23:27
let me consider... it has suddenly been way too easy for you to let us in... i still have doubts
Doubt is a virtue. Your missionaries will not be harmed unless they are spreading the vegetarian heresy. It has not been easy for you to enter our lands; we've defended them with violence, which we despise having to do. It was asked.... POLITELY.... asked that we allow missionaries in, and no threats of violence were issued. A similar asking on our part was also accepted. This is fair and equitable, and all we ever wanted.
Greyblades
04-16-2009, 23:47
*Sigh* politics as usual...
Reenk Roink
04-16-2009, 23:57
*slaps the heretic latrine cleaner's diplomat with the broad side of his sword*
Enough of your pathetic lies. If you are going to try and frame me, at least try to make it plausible. :laugh4: Terrorist attacks against Greyblades are perpetrated by me over those who I have publicly scathed. :rolleyes:
If this is any indication of the strategic prowess of the heretic latrine cleaner, it will be a crushing defeat for him when he faces us on the field.
Vote: Askthepizzaguy
Greyblades
04-16-2009, 23:58
So I guess thats a no to the funeral invite?
Doubt is a virtue. Your missionaries will not be harmed unless they are spreading the vegetarian heresy. It has not been easy for you to enter our lands; we've defended them with violence, which we despise having to do. It was asked.... POLITELY.... asked that we allow missionaries in, and no threats of violence were issued. A similar asking on our part was also accepted. This is fair and equitable, and all we ever wanted.
We eat beef, not vegetables. we do not spread organic vegetable fertilisers.
And we have not entered your lands... yet.
I am willing to send an Inquisitor to check to vegetarianism, but I have one condition if we are to end this peacefully - YOU personally have to help either me or shlin II with our Inquisitions. These are not missionaries anymore, Inquisitors are skilled heresy seekers. Both me and shlin uphold the divine teachings of beef although we work independantly. If you help me, I will clear you (if you are truly a meat eater) and we shall find the vegetarians, together.
This i believe is not a difficult condition to agree to, as all us meat eaters should be doing this anyway; the only thing is you have to enforce that either me or shlin will have the rights to search a country. You will also send someone to accompany us so that you will prove we are not carrying out military spying. that way no-one should refuse.
Agree and I will wipe clear our past differences and work together.
Grandmaster taka
edit
however we will not abandon out brothers from reenk and roink. please call off your jihad and work together.
edit 2
you may also request something back from me if you wish, for we (obviously) have nothing to hide. however if it conflicts with our interests or allies, then i will tell you and you may request something else.
if you truly mean your words, we will not make it hard for anyone as we dont like trouble.
Reenk Roink
04-17-2009, 00:47
I will now be leaving this council to head back to my land and prepare for war. :2thumbsup: (unlike many of you I do not believe in long hierarchies and bureaucracies and love to intermingle with people and solve problems, especially with the sword! :2thumbsup:)
I must make one comment though. The actions of the holy theocracy do somewhat sadden me. I understand why they gave up the war against the heretic, but I don't understand why they broke the alliance with the orthodox after investigating them and finding that they really were orthodox.
Originally, I had envisioned an island ruled by the law of the Beef. His holiness taka and his holiness shlin would share power as dual sovereigns while Reenkmaistro (and all other orthodox allies) would be the enforcer on the lands and Ares (and all other orthodox allies) whould be the enforcer on the seas.
Now I believe that it is his holiness taka who is the most pious and most wise in his rule alone. This is not to mean any disrespect to his holiness shlin, but just as shlin dwarfs me in piety, taka dwarfs us all in piety.
:stupido: Reenkmaistro: Lover of Beef and War
If you will unvote YLC, then I will mediate the dispute with our allies and see if I cannot offer my protection of his waters, and also, offer him some form of tribute for unblockading your ports.
If you declare full-scale war against the Consulate, then we will be forced to defend his lands as per our agreement, but we will not invade you.
-Generalissimo Greenpepperous the Great, Khan of the Hungry Horde.
I want proof that the consulate will remove the blockades before I remove my vote, I want there word
Furthermore it wouldn't be such a tragedy if you defended there lands, for us at least as my allies would then take your weak lands.
If you had half the sense I respect you for, you would stay in your own lands to avoid annihilation.
Greyblades
04-17-2009, 01:21
Or I could lend you some artillery, tell them either get lost or sink with a small flash and a big crash.:evilgrin:
Or I could lend you some artillery, tell them either get lost or sink with a small flash and a big crash.:evilgrin:
Why hello there...
???
Nice to make your acquaintance I guess....
:bow:
Greyblades
04-17-2009, 01:24
:inquisitive:I was reffering to your blocade problem but... nice to meet you.:beam:
:inquisitive:I was reffering to your blocade problem but... nice to meet you.:beam:
Indeed, but I was surprised you were offering to assist us, when we don't even know of you.
Greyblades
04-17-2009, 01:27
One word: Boredom
One word: Boredom
Then do not kid us if you will not lend your support.
GOOD DAY!
Greyblades
04-17-2009, 01:32
And people say I take things too seriously.... :clown:
And people say I take things too seriously.... :clown:
HSAAYYGS
HIIII YA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HAHAHYAYYAYAYAYYA
CO CO COO COO!
BURP*
hits greyblades, slaps him endlessly with a wet fish*
:yes:
Askthepizzaguy
04-17-2009, 02:05
Know that we would be willing to call off our chee-had on Reenk and Roink and help you find the beefy ones and the veggie ones, and indeed we may delay such a thing; but Reenk and Roink are not willing to behave like civilized people. Until they are, they are the enemies of all people here.
-Pepperono
And we agree to work together as per your terms. The thing we ask in return... we will ponder on that. We don't want to ask for something unfair or that which we do not deserve. What would you offer?
Know that we would be willing to call off our chee-had on Reenk and Roink and help you find the beefy ones and the veggie ones, and indeed we may delay such a thing; but Reenk and Roink are not willing to behave like civilized people. Until they are, they are the enemies of all people here.
-Pepperono
And we agree to work together as per your terms. The thing we ask in return... we will ponder on that. We don't want to ask for something unfair or that which we do not deserve. What would you offer?
Do you address me? you looked at us all as you spoke....
Askthepizzaguy
04-17-2009, 02:12
Do you address me? you looked at us all as you spoke....
Oh, pardon. We were speaking to... Taka I believe. To be honest I lost my place. There's a fetching woman from the Consulate here and I find it distracting.
-Pepperono
Know that we would be willing to call off our chee-had on Reenk and Roink and help you find the beefy ones and the veggie ones, and indeed we may delay such a thing; but Reenk and Roink are not willing to behave like civilized people. Until they are, they are the enemies of all people here.
-Pepperono
And we agree to work together as per your terms. The thing we ask in return... we will ponder on that. We don't want to ask for something unfair or that which we do not deserve. What would you offer?
ahh~ great stuff, seems like we are starting to tune in on the same wave-lengths.
yes, if the chee-had is called off, Reenk is willing to withdraw for the moment.
as for return, if you are helping me (or shlin) then I can offer trade and military support if attacked unfairly. i will provide ALL PROVEN meat eaters the same offer as well. if there is anything specific you would like to ask of, feel free to send a pigeon message (pm). if you are willing to work together, i see little reason to refuse anything reasonable.
Grandmaster Taka
Askthepizzaguy
04-17-2009, 02:45
if there is anything specific you would like to ask of, feel free to send a pigeon message (pm).
This line alone deserves some kind of recognition after the game. Absolutely hilarious. :laugh4: From now on, PMs will be called pigeon messages. Our first favor we ask of you, is some of these pigeons. Provided the pigeons don't purposefully poop practically everywhere, pizzaguy promises plenty of pretty pigeon pacts which provide purposeful and promising pleasantries pertaining to productive participation. Pagan partakers of potatoes, peas, parsley, pumpkins, peaches, papayas, pineapples, pickles, peanuts, pralines, pecans, and portabella mushrooms, pray thee pay proper respects.... papal powers of the bovine parish have provided the path towards patron sainthood; patriots, peers, pawns, peasants, and people of peace, perfection is pending, provided you perform the proper conversion to penultimate path of proper piety, avoiding perdition, and not a perfunctory period of peripheral piety either. Perturbed by pestilence and perversion, proper patriots persist in performing rites proper to peaceful people, avoiding perpetual persecution for pitiful and pompous partaking of purposeless portions of prideful and profane vegetables unfit for a primitive. Convert to the popular and most profound form of piety: Beef-eating!!!
Please?
Greyblades
04-17-2009, 02:50
Dont bother sending me pigeons; they give my lions gas. And I realy don't want to air their den out again.
Consul Lacy returns to the council, having washed and dressed herself appropriately in a long flowing red dress with gold trim which showed off her form, her hair pinned back seductively. She nods to Pepperono before taking her seat, and reading over what her attendant had transcribed.
"If the Khaan wish to mediate between me and Aresea - so be it. No that the Consulate will never back down from anyone, ever, and threats will only hearten our resolve. As such, I Vote: Reenk Roink. I despise those who hide their faithlessness behind false boasting of purity and piety, and I further despise someone who is bent on destruction but commits nothing to it - what are you, a sloth or a fool?"
"As to King Yoyoma II, I will maintain the blockade as long as necessary, but the Consulate sees your predicament and will pay you double what you are receiving for your trade with Aresean merchants until terms can be agreed to....oh, almost forgot. I have no other siblings besides my brother, and if I did, I would not allow you to manhandle them..."
"Leader of the Exiles, Greyblades is it? I will attend the funeral, as should all here - we are all cast from the same mold, prince and pauper alike, and we should all show some respect. I'd also like to speak with you privately about domestic matters...if you can?"
"King Quintus of Decapodia - I'd like to begin setting up shipping lanes to your people, I think we have much to offer each other if your opinion to some suggestions."
Greyblades
04-17-2009, 04:44
If you wish to speak to me, could you wait till tomorrow? Real life can be a problem but it is necissary.
Consul Lacy returns to the council, having washed and dressed herself appropriately in a long flowing red dress with gold trim which showed off her form, her hair pinned back seductively. She nods to Pepperono before taking her seat, and reading over what her attendant had transcribed.
:laugh4:
:laugh4:
:laugh4:
:laugh4::gathering::laugh3::laugh3::laugh3: :happy2: :happy2:
Moving on:
If you think you can mistreat 3 nations, 2 of which bordering your own in one speech you will be in trouble fast, shame you have put your nation to disgrace.
And what is that cheap revealing dress your wearing? trust me, we don't want to see your 50 year old legs that could break down from beneath you at any second!
Just so everyone understands - Lacy is around 25 years old, it's her mother which is 50 *just saw the part where WE managed to confuse everyone :laugh4:
Also, I suggest you change your post TM or I'll take advantage of it :mellow:
A messenger tells Tunaface shes actual 25
'HA! oh dear, you poor woman, what happened to your body, your a shriveled prune!'
:tongue:
Askthepizzaguy
04-17-2009, 05:46
Such diplomatic tact, TunaFace...
We wish to mediate the dispute now. Please tell us, both of you, in your own words, what started this conflict. I know it may be posted elsewhere, but please keep it short and simple and to the point. Pizza and wine will be served for your patience with me. Sit, have a seat. Or, a tank to swim in, if you prefer.
Such diplomatic tact, TunaFace...
We wish to mediate the dispute now. Please tell us, both of you, in your own words, what started this conflict. I know it may be posted elsewhere, but please keep it short and simple and to the point. Pizza and wine will be served for your patience with me. Sit, have a seat. Or, a tank to swim in, if you prefer.
The consulates paranoia and want for war
They accuse us of spying on us when it simply could have been anyone
We have not looked in there lands, but rather believe they have looked in ours!
And after 2 false allegations they decide there positioned well enough to blockade my ports and start a war over there own false claims.
Horrific behavior. :no:
The consulates paranoia and want for war
They accuse us of spying on us when it simply could have been anyone
We have not looked in there lands, but rather believe they have looked in ours!
And after 2 false allegations they decide there positioned well enough to blockade my ports and start a war over there own false claims.
Horrific behavior. :no:
HA!
It is not want for paranoia, so much as it is truth! You sent the spy disguised as a diplomat, not I. It was you who then tried to send another, except he halted upon your territory before taking another step, thanks to our vigilante coast guard.
We have sent no spies, nor assassins, nor saboteurs, to anyone else lands. Not once have we done anything another himself has not asked for - and yet we are met with suspicion and even outright hostility!
And we we have taken that measure for you to concede to our demands! I will not back down from this Tunaface - fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice, shame on you. If I simply let you go, what is to prevent you from going back on your word?
Only concessions will do dear representative...and I shall ignore your insults to my character and person, for now.
Yoyoma1910
04-17-2009, 08:18
Hmmm.
Double profit is very tempting for me... Of course, you would have to open your ports to our merchants as well. I like to keep my people rich and satisfied as well, you know. A king is only as happy as his people. And my people are hungry for new goods.
By the way, is it true what they say about Pepperono's... feet?
HA!
It is not want for paranoia, so much as it is truth! You sent the spy disguised as a diplomat, not I. It was you who then tried to send another, except he halted upon your territory before taking another step, thanks to our vigilante coast guard.
Do you know how unbelievable you sound? Your nation must be mad.
No beef lover would act like this, your absolute anger that people see into your lands shows you have something to hide.
Even though we haven't even visited your land you make an example of us as if to warn any others off from spying, when this is just a dramatic ploy to avoid being found out for the carrot crunchers you really are!
Hmmm.
Double profit is very tempting for me... Of course, you would have to open your ports to our merchants as well. I like to keep my people rich and satisfied as well, you know. A king is only as happy as his people. And my people are hungry for new goods.
By the way, is it true what they say about Pepperono's... feet?
Of course, why would I not allow your merchants into our marketplaces? Beefdom's good are welcome in the Consulate, as I hope, the Consulates goods and crafts are welcome Beefdom?
And what of Pepperono's feet? I'd have no idea...
Do you know how unbelievable you sound? Your nation must be mad.
No beef lover would act like this, your absolute anger that people see into your lands shows you have something to hide.
Even though we haven't even visited your land you make an example of us as if to warn any others off from spying, when this is just a dramatic ploy to avoid being found out for the carrot crunchers you really are!
I sound perfectly sane, dear Tunaface. It has only been you who have sent spies to my borders, however inept they are. I have allowed the missionaries from both Shadowbull and the Order into my lands. I have allowed traders from Swissland, from Pizzaland, and soon Decapodia, Exilia, and Beefdom.
My lands are open to those who do not try to undermine and take advantage of the Consulates good will! You however, immediately breached that trust!
Should we care? :speechless:
Should we care? :speechless:
Consul Lacy's face turns a scarlet red, her eyes turning into slits - if looks could kill, Tunafaces soul would be torn into ribbons and used for bows in little girls hair and on Christmas packaging.
"Yet another insult - you aren't even trying to be civil anymore or discuss matters! So I shall be finished with you to! From this day forth, let it be known that the family of YLC, or Yvain Lucius Clausen, declares blood feud upon the nobility of Aresea!"
Askthepizzaguy
04-17-2009, 13:09
It seems while our diplomats were sleeping, things have gotten worse. No longer do I wish for you to direct conversation towards one another, friends. Talk to me alone please.
Aresea, while I admit to being slightly biased towards my friend, I really want to give you a fair shake. Based on recent events, I am not sure how impartial I can be. Do you have another friend who can advocate on your behalf, and talk to me arguing for your perspective? Besides Reenk and Roink, of course... we need mediators of our own in that dispute.
Askthepizzaguy
04-17-2009, 13:12
Oh, and Noble King Yoyoma II-
We are aware of the hardship our recent defense of our lands has caused you, and forced you to break off trade agreements with us. We would like to compensate you for your loss; is there a fair arrangement to be reached?
-Pepperono
Reenk Roink
04-17-2009, 14:32
Letter to King Ares: :stupido:
My dearest Ares the Thermal Mercury, most noble king of them all, from brother to brother:
It is of no use arguing with YLC and his consulate. They are even more guilty than the pizza khaan at twisting words and being guilty of what they accuse others of.
Note how he accuses others of arrogance but by far the most arrogant speech comes from him. Look at how his delegates behave. On top of that it's a woman, and an eyesore to look at as you pointed out. :laugh4: The Reenkmaistro does not bother with delegates, he does not feel the self importance that others do.
Note how he accuses you of insults, when by far the worst insulter is himself (yes worse than the pizza khaan who amuses me with his insults :2thumbsup:).
Note how he accuses others of impiety when he is the one with a poor understanding of scripture, and a poor understanding of morals (war is bad according to him :rolleyes: :laugh4:). On the other hand, I have approval from the twin lights of taka and shlin, may the Beef keep them.
Note how he accuses praises others of warmongering (why thank you :bow:) when he is a warmonger himself (his only redeeming quality).
Unfortunately, though I wish right now to attack this "consulate" and massacre the high ups to the last man, carrying off the women and booty, I cannot. For I am engaged in important activities. Also there is this "chee had" to deal with, I will probably have to give the pizza khaan's soldiers a good whooping. Do hold on though, while the crone who speaks for the consulate taunts and asks where the mighty war of the twin kingdoms is now, she will wish to trade the whole world to avert it when it comes... :devilish:
Let him for now, keep talking about the poor and then send delegates with richly adorned and expensive garments to hide their natural ugliness and the ugliness inside them. The cognitive dissonance makes me confident in victory, when the time comes.
And assuredly, it is I, who will make that decision. :bow:
Your beloved brother Reenkmaistro, servant of the Beef and the people of the Aresea and the people of the Twin Kingdoms
P.S: the small scouting party by his holiness shlin which almost overwhelmed the alliance has given us vast information on the army composition of the heretics. The pizza khaan, the consulate, the kingdom of the Flax, and more,,,
Lacy's face contorts into stunned, questioning, confusion.
"Does this man speak only to listen to his voice, but not his words? Does he have any idea how much he has contradicted himself? I do not, nor will I ever, send delegates to anyone else in my place. Unlike Reenk, I keep to the responsibilities I create for myself."
Reenk Roink
04-17-2009, 14:49
Lacy's face contorts into stunned, questioning, confusion.
"Does this man speak only to listen to his voice, but not his words? Does he have any idea how much he has contradicted himself? I do not, nor will I ever, send delegates to anyone else in my place. Unlike Reenk, I keep to the responsibilities I create for myself."
The difference between Reenkmaistro and "Lacy" who may or may not be the ruler of the consulate :rolleyes:, is that when I make a charge of contradiction, arrogance, insult, or hypocrisy, I actually back it up with examples. :2thumbsup:
Edit: I see I was mistaken and this Lacy is really the ruler of the consulate. :laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4:
A woman leading a nation!? Gadzooks! :shocked2:
Greyblades
04-17-2009, 14:53
*A man of apparant minor wealth but with an aura of calm and command around him enters the Council chamber.*
"M'lady Lacy if you still wish to talk in private my lord is rested enought to see you."
Lacy breaks into a small smile.
"Good, I think I need to have a break from this chamber - the air has become to stale and hot in here. Let your Lord know I will be with him shortly."
Yoyoma1910
04-17-2009, 14:56
*A man of apparant minor wealth but with an aura of calm and command around him enters the Council chamber.*
"M'lady Lacy if you still wish to talk in private my lord is rested enought to see you."
Lacy breaks into a small smile.
"Good, I think I need to have a break from this chamber - the air has become to stale and hot in here. Let your Lord know I will be with him shortly."
*chortle*
Perhaps the Consulate will be opening up a shoe store?
Greyblades
04-17-2009, 15:00
We have no need to impress you by wasting our gold on playing dress up.
Yoyoma1910
04-17-2009, 15:09
One, dont ever counfuse us with the consulate. And two, we have no need to impress you by wasting our gold on playing dress up.
Yes, that's exactly what I was saying.
I'd pin you for a wingtip man self, although I bet you wear sandals in public, eh? You rascal you.
Askthepizzaguy
04-17-2009, 15:09
Letter to King Ares: :stupido:
My dearest Ares the Thermal Mercury, most noble king of them all, from brother to brother:
It is of no use arguing with YLC and his consulate. They are even more guilty than the pizza khaan at twisting words and being guilty of what they accuse others of.
Note how he accuses others of arrogance but by far the most arrogant speech comes from him. Look at how his delegates behave. On top of that it's a woman, and an eyesore to look at as you pointed out. :laugh4: The Reenkmaistro does not bother with delegates, he does not feel the self importance that others do.
Note how he accuses you of insults, when by far the worst insulter is himself (yes worse than the pizza khaan who amuses me with his insults :2thumbsup:).
Note how he accuses others of impiety when he is the one with a poor understanding of scripture, and a poor understanding of morals (war is bad according to him :rolleyes: :laugh4:). On the other hand, I have approval from the twin lights of taka and shlin, may the Beef keep them.
Note how he accuses praises others of warmongering (why thank you :bow:) when he is a warmonger himself (his only redeeming quality).
Unfortunately, though I wish right now to attack this "consulate" and massacre the high ups to the last man, carrying off the women and booty, I cannot. For I am engaged in important activities. Also there is this "chee had" to deal with, I will probably have to give the pizza khaan's soldiers a good whooping. Do hold on though, while the crone who speaks for the consulate taunts and asks where the mighty war of the twin kingdoms is now, she will wish to trade the whole world to avert it when it comes... :devilish:
Let him for now, keep talking about the poor and then send delegates with richly adorned and expensive garments to hide their natural ugliness and the ugliness inside them. The cognitive dissonance makes me confident in victory, when the time comes.
And assuredly, it is I, who will make that decision. :bow:
Your beloved brother Reenkmaistro, servant of the Beef and the people of the Aresea and the people of the Twin Kingdoms
P.S: the small scouting party by his holiness shlin which almost overwhelmed the alliance has given us vast information on the army composition of the heretics. The pizza khaan, the consulate, the kingdom of the Flax, and more,,,
Reenk and Roink:
Your allies have requested that the Hungry Khan call off this chee-had, as they would like our assistance in quelling the vegetarian uprising. Know that we have business to take care of with you eventually, as our armies are destined to meet on the field of battle and destroy yours. However, if you are truly a beefeater, as we have been proven to be by the "scouting party" of the Shadowbull and their missionaries, (whose bodies, dead or alive, have been returned to them) you know that our primary responsibility is to eliminate the vegetarians. As such, you will be a traitor to this council if you do not accept a temporary cease-fire until the vegetarians have been found and crushed. What do you say? Are you a man of your word and of your faith, or do you hide behind such things like a coward?
We are enemies now, and I suspect we always shall be. Your attitude offends us. However, our quarrel is with your leadership and your military, your civilians are not to be harmed. (I doubt you'd offer such a civilized thing) On the other hand, the population of the veggie nations must be converted, their leaders removed, and their military disarmed. In that, the council requires your assistance or cooperation. If you do not agree to these terms, the "alliance" that I raised last turn will dwarf in comparison to the one which will rise against you should you prove yourselves to be so despicable as to ignore the threat of the veggie eaters.
Unvote us, and we will do the same for you. Otherwise, you die sooner rather than later, and under even more overwhelming circumstances.
Greyblades
04-17-2009, 15:15
@Yoyoma: So, we should dress our messangers in the finest gold? Maybe you do but after awhile it just looks like a very stupid waste.
Yoyoma1910
04-17-2009, 15:19
@Yoyoma: So, we should dress our messangers in the finest gold? Maybe you do but after awhile it just looks like a very stupid waste.
Oh, is that really what you think this is all about?
Hope you have some socks to wear, dear boy.
Greyblades
04-17-2009, 15:23
Being facinated by looking good makes you look like you are compensating old man.
Askthepizzaguy
04-17-2009, 15:37
This bickering is unbecoming, gentlemen.
-Pepperono
Greyblades
04-17-2009, 15:39
It eleviates boredom and, as long as yoyoma doesnt snap and declares war for a stupid reason, it's harmless.
But what the heck, truce yoyoma?
Yoyoma1910
04-17-2009, 15:43
Oh my, you best watch out dear boy. I hear this Lacy has sold Pepperono several pairs of work boots, and it seems he may be a bit jealous of you.
Askthepizzaguy
04-17-2009, 15:49
Oh my, you best watch out dear boy. I hear this Lacy has sold Pepperono several pairs of work boots, and it seems he may be a bit jealous of you.
This Lacy is quite enchanting, but we don't require work boots. We have battle armor, and we require certain kinds of footwear for protection and horse riding, as well as silent maneuvers on foot.
Yoyoma1910
04-17-2009, 15:55
This Lacy is quite enchanting, but we don't require work boots. We have battle armor, and we require certain kinds of footwear for protection and horse riding, as well as silent maneuvers on foot.
Eh. Too easy.
Greyblades
04-17-2009, 15:57
Am I the only one who is disturbed by yoyomas facination with shoes?
Askthepizzaguy
04-17-2009, 15:59
Eh. Too easy.
Indeed, although to be fair, we are rarely silent at night. Our people are just a bit too boisterous for what you're referring to.
Yoyoma1910
04-17-2009, 16:00
Am I the only one who is disturbed by yoyomas facination with shoes?
This from a man who has "private meetings" with shoe sellers. Tisk, tisk.
Reenk Roink
04-17-2009, 17:01
Reenk and Roink:
Your allies have requested that the Hungry Khan call off this chee-had, as they would like our assistance in quelling the vegetarian uprising. Know that we have business to take care of with you eventually, as our armies are destined to meet on the field of battle and destroy yours. However, if you are truly a beefeater, as we have been proven to be by the "scouting party" of the Shadowbull and their missionaries, (whose bodies, dead or alive, have been returned to them) you know that our primary responsibility is to eliminate the vegetarians. As such, you will be a traitor to this council if you do not accept a temporary cease-fire until the vegetarians have been found and crushed. What do you say? Are you a man of your word and of your faith, or do you hide behind such things like a coward?
We are enemies now, and I suspect we always shall be. Your attitude offends us. However, our quarrel is with your leadership and your military, your civilians are not to be harmed. (I doubt you'd offer such a civilized thing) On the other hand, the population of the veggie nations must be converted, their leaders removed, and their military disarmed. In that, the council requires your assistance or cooperation. If you do not agree to these terms, the "alliance" that I raised last turn will dwarf in comparison to the one which will rise against you should you prove yourselves to be so despicable as to ignore the threat of the veggie eaters.
Unvote us, and we will do the same for you. Otherwise, you die sooner rather than later, and under even more overwhelming circumstances.
:stupido:
Heretic latrine cleaner:
Do not presume anything about my allies. You know nothing of our alliance and our goals and missions. :rolleyes: :wink:
Your mewling calls for delaying the fight are typical of your cowardice which has been demonstrated so many times. Did not the other nations see how you whined when one of your allies was smitten away forever by the Beef and the other pulled out? Did we not all see you begging the Beef for control of your smitten ally's kingdom like a child's tantrum for candy? Did we all not see you come to the Orthodox to spare your kingdom and offer surrender? :laugh4:
Then there is the issue of your absolute lack of trustworthiness and simple scumminess and deceit. It was you who refused at first to allow missionaries and inquisitors which caused the fury of the orthodox (then it was you who lied and said that the orthodox did not allow missionaries :laugh4:). When we accepted you surrender and gave you terms that would not reduce your sovereignty, you replied with a bad joke regarding your rear end (and then you question others civility :rolleyes:).
Do you not understand heretic latrine cleaner, who I am?
I am the scourge of the Beef. I have been put here to punish man for his sins, the bring terrible war to the land, to cause death and destruction, and serve as a reminder of the punishment of the Beef. For had men not sinned against the Beef, the Beef would not have sent me. I serve the Orthodox in their quest against the vegetarians more than you ever have. But I am also here to punish those who eat beef and yet are still wicked.
Bring your alliance. I already know of them. I know who stand alongside the heretics and in which capacity.
Do remember, heretic latrine cleaner, that the Beef has blessed be with a central kingdom which is far richer than yours. Do remember that he has made the people of the twin kingdoms given to war. Do realize that he has made his wrath on earth far stronger than armies of effete heretics... :wink:
Unlike you, I see no need to delay the war. I will merely collect your pompous boastings and bad insults and read them to you when I have ravaged your kingdom before I bludgeon you to death with frozen steaks.
Greyblades
04-17-2009, 17:05
Are you going to keep insulting him or are you actually going say something that warrents our time?
Reenk Roink
04-17-2009, 17:15
Are you going to keep insulting him or are you actually going say something that warrents our time?
Why don't you worry about protecting that moving building on which your armies strength rests? :laugh4: :wink:
Yes, I know... :grin:
What else can I do but insult the insulters who make idiotic demands like "unvote me first" when they first voted me?
Askthepizzaguy
04-17-2009, 17:19
:stupido:
Great leader of the magnificent tribe which will crush me:
You know more about my allies than I do, and so many, many more things than I do in general. But I shall rolleyes with self-importance anyway, to hide my inadequacy. :rolleyes: :wink:
Your honourable calls to delay this petty war when there are greater challenges we must all face together are typical of the honor and courage you have shown in the past by not backing down to pathetic bullies like me. The way you argued for your allies to be replaced by a player, and magnanimously offered to let them be turned into a neutral non-player country shows how beautiful and large your extremely massive cojones are. Did we reject your calls for peace, because we are arrogant fools? :laugh4: yes.
The there is the issue of our absolute lack of trustworthiness and major scumminess and deceit. It was I who refused to allow missionaries and inquisitors into my lands, much to the surprise of my own allies. When we rejected your offers of peace and gave you terms dictated as if we had won already, boasting about our abilities which we failed to demonstrate, you replied with an awesome post which still makes me chuckle to this day, and I will treasure forever and ever and ever. I will indeed kiss your puckered brownie, too... and relish the sweet, sweet flavor.
I shall roll eyes again, as I always do when I am in a difficult spot. :rolleyes:
Have you never heard of my pathetic country before? I don't blame you; I can barely recall it.
I am the traitor of the Beef. I have been put here to punish man for being born, "the" bring terrible wars upon the dirt itself for some reason, and serve as a reminder of punishment for repeating myself, because I've run out of purposes to give myself. For had my men swallowed even an ounce of beef, I would not be the leader of a vegetarian horde. I lie and betray the Orthodox in their quest against me, and fail to cooperate even now, though I falsely accuse you (hilariously.... as if blind to the facts) of not cooperating. But I am also here to punish you for ever being so foolish as to treat me like a fellow human being, with honor.
Bring your alliance, I presume to think I know of them. I also know that I am a heretic and not capable of defending myself with words, actions, or reputation.
Yak, yak yak.... something something... blah blah... do you remember the good old days when I used to eat vegetables? Well I still do. Onion around my belt, style at the time. They were rationing for the war.... I'd like to wink at you because you're so handsome :wink:
Unlike you, I see no need to reason anything out. I will merely act randomly and arrogantly, and die a painful, slow, agonizing death, where I will be ravaged for my ravaging savaging ravaging ravages of ravagery, and bludgeoney bludgeon, death, steaks which I don't eat, sound of eating vegetables.
My goodness, I didn't see this one coming a mile away. I laid out the bait for you to expose yourself as the traitor to beefdom that you are, and you took it.
How hilarious. :laugh: :laugh2: :laugh3: :laugh4: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
-Sincerely yours
Pepperono
Greyblades
04-17-2009, 17:19
Why don't you worry about protecting that moving building on which your armies strength rests? :laugh4: :wink:
Yes, I know... :grin:
Moving building that is indestructible untill the rest my contry and my allies contries are destroyed. Besides my troops are great as it is, it just gives them more toys to kill with.
Reenk Roink
04-17-2009, 17:21
My goodness, I didn't see this one coming a mile away. I laid out the bait for you to expose yourself as the traitor to beefdom that you are, and you took it.
How hilarious. :laugh: :laugh2: :laugh3: :laugh4: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
-Sincerely yours
Pepperono
You don't even know what bait means. :rolleyes:
Askthepizzaguy
04-17-2009, 17:26
You don't even know what bait means. :rolleyes:
I'm the master of bait! En garde, you cunning linguist! :duel:
Greyblades
04-17-2009, 17:30
Oh God help us, ATPG is about to go into verbal overdrive.
May the following nations make ready for Inquisitorial investigaitions, your persistent refusal is...unsettling to say the least - failure to do so immediately shall result in a Crusade being called you and your people. You don't want one of my patented "unarmoured peasant army" unleashed upon you, as the thousands of dead bodies in the Khan's land would attest ~:smoking:
1.Ares
2.TheFlax
3.Greyblades
4.CaptainBlackadder
Greyblades
04-17-2009, 17:42
I run a tolerant society, we dont kill people for their beliefs as long as they dont act violently. You can run around looking for extreminsts but any lychings without government concent and you will be kicked out and your leaders imprisoned.
Have my Inquisitors killed anybody? Ask anyone...:yes:
1.Ares
2.TheFlax
3.Greyblades - To be thoroughly investigated
4.CaptainBlackadder
I shall investigate:
1. Pizza Khan
2. Quintus
3. YLC
4. Yoyoma
same applies from what shlin has said. Pizza will send someone to accompany our inquisitors as proof that military spying is not our aim.
Greyblades
04-17-2009, 17:48
I wont have any citizens terrorised soley because of their beliefs. If you want to do anything to them you will have to come up with something else than his beleifs in food are different, and have a second opinion from three of our own law enforcement officials.
I wont have any citizens terrorised soley because of their beliefs. If you want to do anything to them you will have to come up with something else than his beleifs in food are different, and have a second opinion from three of our own law enforcement officials.
So you think its fine to harbour veggies? Our sworn enemy???
Askthepizzaguy
04-17-2009, 17:51
At this point it doesn't matter. You already know of our army composition. We are loyal beefeaters and we have nothing to hide, unlike a certain silly nation whose name I forgot.
edit: was referring to the non-military spying part, post 382.
Greyblades
04-17-2009, 17:51
Your sworn enemy not mine or have you forgotten I'm an exile.
If they havent done anything unlawful and arent doing anything to undermine my nation, then you will not touch them.
Askthepizzaguy
04-17-2009, 17:53
Your sworn enemy not mine or have you forgotten I'm an exile.
If they havent done anything unlawful and arent doing anything to undermine my nation, then you will not touch them.
Uh.... was that a confession, or are you neutral?
Greyblades
04-17-2009, 17:54
Neutral, I have both beef eaters and vegitarians in my state and they can stay if they will do their duty in war and obey the law in peace.
Reenk Roink
04-17-2009, 17:58
I wanna watch the heretic latrine cleaner squirm his way out of allying with apostates... :laugh4:
*Sends message by pidgeon mail to warn the Grand Theocrat of this heretic nation harbouring Veggies*
Askthepizzaguy
04-17-2009, 18:00
I wanna watch the heretic latrine cleaner squirm his way out of allying with apostates... :laugh4:
Bah. When the veggies are found in your land, you won't be squirming out of your execution.
If the Exiles are housing heretic vegetarians... I cannot support or defend them.
Reenk Roink
04-17-2009, 18:03
Bah. When the veggies are found in your land, you won't be squirming out of your execution.
If the Exiles are housing heretic vegetarians... I cannot support or defend them.
Keep talking. :laugh4:
Askthepizzaguy
04-17-2009, 18:04
Keep talking. :laugh4:
This will go down in history as the worst military blunder ever made. :clown:
I shall now encase you in a wall of solid text, to prevent your armies from being able to think.
Who wanna join teh new Crusadez?
:smash:
Askthepizzaguy
04-17-2009, 18:05
Who wanna join teh new Crusadez?
:smash:
We'll call it a chee-had, but yeah we will join your holy quest.
Greyblades
04-17-2009, 18:05
My people take these veiw point "leave you religion at the door" and "Nation comes first". Any person caught killing people for such an irrelivent reason on both sides are imprisoned and if they cant get along are themselves exiled (oh the irony).
Reenk Roink
04-17-2009, 18:06
OOC: This is an incredible game. :2thumbsup:
I kinda am worried too though. I hope I didn't ally with the wrong folks... :wall: :laugh4:
We are the tolerant ones here! We allow our religious movements to be called by two names!!!!!!!!
Vote: Greyblades
Crusade: Greyblades
Chee-had: Greyblades
Curse: Greyblades
Greyblades
04-17-2009, 18:07
How immature the church cant get its way and it throws a tantrum.
OOC: Hey this is the contry I wanted to play and beefy let me.:grin:
Askthepizzaguy
04-17-2009, 18:09
OOC: This is an incredible game. :2thumbsup:
I kinda am worried too though. I hope I didn't ally with the wrong folks... :wall: :laugh4:
OOC- You're a gentleman and I enjoy sparring with you, Reenk. Frenemies until the day we kill each other in honourable combat! :duel:
And then we shall revive and duel again in the next life, and the next. It wouldn't be as much fun without ya.
Askthepizzaguy
04-17-2009, 18:15
Our defensive alliance, Exiles, does not apply if you harbor the terrorists known as veggie-eaters. You should have been honest with us from the beginning. Unless you surrender and become a vassal state of a proven beefeater nation, we will join the chee-had!
It pains me to find traitors inside of our own network of friends. Any other nations harboring terrorists should step forward, immediately. I will not be as lenient or understanding next time.
-Pepperono
PS- unvote: Reenk Roink
Greyblades
04-17-2009, 18:19
ATPG When did we say that we were Totaly beef eaters? Hmm? When have I let you down because of your tollerants and intollerants?
I do not condone terror and hatred. We throw out anyone that kills another outside of war. Be they veggies, beefies and omnies(both) and we execute anyone who even thinks of inciting one side into killing off the other side. I will bear a civil war and chaos before I let my people kill each other for their beliefs.
stop this nonsense.
It is possible there are nations that may eat vegetables AND meat, but the ones we are looking for are the TOTALLY vegetable eating nations.
for example, after research, The order has found that if the ratio of Beef to vegetables is 5:2, it is actually healthy. reason being that it helps you go for a poopey after your meal.
now, Greyblades, i am willing to give you a chance to clear yourself IF you let us search your lands. if not then a full crusade is the only way to solve this matter.
the choice is yours.
Greyblades
04-17-2009, 18:30
I never said you couldnt search for extremists and I'll even let you arrest recruiters but I will not let you kill off half of my people just because of their beliefs. You can come in but do not kill any innocents who are just trying to get on with their lives.
Greyblades
04-17-2009, 18:35
Oh one more thing we are testing some new troops types and any of your searchers that try to find information about it will be shaved, covered in leattuce leaves and thrown out.
Askthepizzaguy
04-17-2009, 18:38
I interpreted our mission as being to eliminate or convert ANYONE who ate 100% vegetables, whether or not their countrymen ate meat.
The Exile leader has suggested he is harboring full-on vegetarians. You aren't concerned by this? We eat tomatoes, for example, in the form of pizza sauce, but we always eat meat. None of us are vegetarians at all!
I have both beef eaters and vegitarians in my state
Then those heretics must be converted or exiled away from this land. Immediately.
Do not press me on this; my orders come from the Pizza Lord, from the Sacred Cow, from the Divine Bovine, since our recent conversion, and from the love of beef. We are not threatening war, we are asking that you rid this land of the heretics before it is too late and they convert all of you to the pagan religion of vegetarianism. We need to consult with our allies about this matter.
-Pepperono
we knew nothing of it. now that you have said it in public, expect many spies from people
good find, i had missed that. the search will still continue and if vegetarians are indeed found then a crusade will be called.
Greyblades
04-17-2009, 18:49
:rolleyes: *sigh*...whatever just know that after 20 years of tollerance if you crusade you will be not be able to avoid having to fight and kill both omnies and beefies.
Er... are you sure in your Role PM you are not a "Meat Eater"? :inquisitive:
Greyblades
04-17-2009, 18:51
I asked Beefy If I could change national and persona status to both and he said yes. I assumed that I would have to live with a couple of die hard beefies and veggies living in my country.
Tolerant people... don't they know how many people's lives has been and will be ruined by their selfish behaviour!?! The cheek of them...
Greyblades
04-17-2009, 19:09
Who is selfish the Vegans? Being hunted to near extinction isn't exactly selfish behavior.
your over-defence for them is more and more suspicious...
Greyblades
04-17-2009, 19:16
I just don't realy like blind faith, hipocrasy in others, people who make assumptions on others and selfrightious religion figureheads. Even if it is shlin.
Askthepizzaguy
04-17-2009, 19:17
He is admitting to harboring full-on vegetarians. I'm not sure why we are still questioning him. I've made the request that they be exiled or converted, which is lenient. He claims neutrality, but he is just covering so that when the vegetarians are exposed by us, he will claim that he told us so, and that we are being unreasonable.
Does anyone's message from the Cattle God suggest that we must only go after 100% vegetarian NATIONS, or that we must go after any nation found to be knowingly harboring the heretic vegetarians in any amount?
-Pepperono
Actually it says "Vegetarian Kings"...
Hmmm....
Greyblades
04-17-2009, 19:20
Look if you want proof ask and I'll quote the PM exchange about changing to both.
Edit: thats 3 stupid comments this week... Hey I think im improving.
Askthepizzaguy
04-17-2009, 19:29
Let's see it.
edit: If it's not prohibited by rule.
Greyblades
04-17-2009, 19:35
I want to legalise meat eating in my country.
You might want to hide the evidence as well :bow:
Nah I was thinking more of starting a omnivoar society: both meat eaters and veggies welcome as long as either dont start recruiting others.
Sure. It will be done :yes:
Hosts word is law. It seemed like a good idea at the time and I wanted to roleplay a non religious country. I allso abandoned my "eliminate the other religion" goal.
I want to legalise meat eating in my country.
Do you mean to say meat eating is illegal before? :inquisitive:
Greyblades
04-17-2009, 19:43
I wanted to step apart from White_eyes:D. Besides Beefy said I could so I did.
But... meat-eating should ALWAYS be legalised! When has it not been legal? Are you suggesting WE:D banned meat eating?
THIS IS MADNESS!
Greyblades
04-17-2009, 19:46
THIS! IS! Being a complete ass.
I realy am sorry I just got carried away. sorry beefy, white eyes, etc :shame:
Like I said it seemed like a good idea at the time but I didnt think it through.
If you can salvage this game do it, I'll suicide and let you guys continue without my meddling.
White_eyes:D
04-17-2009, 22:16
THIS! IS! SCREWING THE RULES!!! :clown:
Besides this game wont end if the mafia dies or there wouldnt be a ultimate objective.
Why do I have a dreading feeling that I've screwed the enire game up?
https://i29.tinypic.com/mj3h4k.jpg
I am sorry Beefy....if I had know he would play like this(no cunning:shame:)....I would have stayed and fought to the end:no::wall::wall: Now I will go and redeem my honor....:shame:
White_eyes:D
04-17-2009, 22:34
Greyblades....you should have stayed silent about the veggie-eaters:no:
*and if you look "Noble sons 1"....The goal was to get rid of the mafia..*me* but after that, none of the princes would not even arm-wrestle each other:laugh4:.....let alone kill each other:thumbsdown: (we had to fight for the throne)*
Always, takes a huge bad guy to get things moving.....:shame: and most of you don't have the guts....:no: *Reenk would:grin2:*
Greyblades
04-17-2009, 22:38
I think about half way through I got this confused with a forum version of This game (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SuperPower_2) and started to act in that fasion. Which, I see now, was the stupidest thing I could do... its surprising how good stupid things seem when your thinking them up.
Reenk Roink
04-17-2009, 22:51
Ok, Greyblades don't be sorry. You didn't ruin the game, you just made it a lot more hilarious not to mention more interesting. :laugh4: :bow:
Maybe we can have a mechanism which brings White eyes back into the game too for even more laughs. :2thumbsup:
Greyblades
04-17-2009, 23:31
I'm guesing making reenk laugh by going temporaraly insane isn't a habit I should keep up.
Beefy187
04-18-2009, 00:50
Don't worry Greyblades, White_eyes.. I think this game is getting interesting again :mellow:
You still have diplomatic options Greyblades. Use your cunningness. And feel free to ask the master, White_eyes for advices :yes:
I was going to end the meeting but since its taking a huge turn, I'll keep it open for now while you guys discusses the next move.
PS: I prefer pork then beef :clown:
Greyblades
04-18-2009, 00:58
Wait what? Um... ok but aren't I practically dead anyway? If not from stupidity but from practically both exposing myself and peeving off the head of the (can I just call it the church from now on?) beef church.
Beefy187
04-18-2009, 01:00
Wait what? Um... ok but aren't I practically dead anyway? If not from stupidity but from practically both exposing myself and peeving off the head of the (can I just call it the church from now on?) beef church.
I can think of at least 6 ways to get out of this mess. Don't give up! :smash:
Edit: Hey White_eyes matey.. Wanna take over hosting so I can play instead of Greyblades?
Askthepizzaguy
04-18-2009, 01:51
No offense to White_Eyes, but I like Beefy as a host, and I feel he could be a fair host AND player at the same time.
You're already playing, Beefster, why not just be less neutral, and act like you're unaware of information related to your hosting duties? You're already the hand of God in this game so, whichever... it is fair to me.
Beefy187
04-18-2009, 03:17
If you say so Pizza guy. I'll keep staying neutral. But I might however, give Greyblades some infomation to keep things intresting.
Askthepizzaguy
04-18-2009, 03:44
You could always replace Greyblades' alignment with beefeater and randomly place it elsewhere, as a suggestion; if people feel his reveal breaks the game in any way. Otherwise; kinda looks like he is toast with vegetables on it.
And of course you can ignore my ever-flowing fountain of opinions. :laugh4:
White_eyes:D
04-18-2009, 08:01
I can think of at least 6 ways to get out of this mess. Don't give up! :smash:
Edit: Hey White_eyes matey.. Wanna take over hosting so I can play instead of Greyblades?
I don't mind....but you would need to tell me what to do...:sweatdrop:
I already agreed to do the battle write-ups..:shrug: why not everything else:laugh4:
(I could Random.ORG the veggie eaters, so this way you wouldn't know):clown:
@Greyblades: you should have made shlins guys have a "accident" on there way and have some of your guys wearing swissland uniforms, near by:grin:....too late for that though...:wall:
Yoyoma1910
04-18-2009, 08:16
Or we can just play through.
Vote:Keep Going
Askthepizzaguy
04-18-2009, 08:19
There's much more to do here than kill veggie eaters. So I agree... we could play through.
White_eyes:D
04-18-2009, 08:26
Why are guys being so mean to Beefy....???:inquisitive: he just wants to play as well:laugh4:
Yoyoma1910
04-18-2009, 08:28
Why are guys being so mean to Beefy....???:inquisitive: he just wants to play as well:laugh4:
What are you talking about?
edit:
I thought we were discussing whether to revamp the game because of greyblades.
White_eyes:D
04-18-2009, 08:34
Well, if that's the case.....Beefy can't know who the veggie eaters are..:book: but I think Beefy solved this problem....somehow...:shrug:
Beefy187
04-18-2009, 13:22
Yes I gave a hint hint nudge nudge to Greyblades to spice things up.
Do not underestimate him guys.. He may be blown but he ain't dead yet.
We will keep going with the current format. Though if there is a Noble Sons three.... :beam:
Oh and some of you players are being extremely helpful :beam:
EDIT: Also, update will have to be tommorow.. I got back 30 min ago and I'm exausted.. I think I'll sleep and leave it all for tommorow
Start sending me the orders in for the next phase. If you are desperate to know something, please just keep pming me. Cheers:2thumbsup:
Askthepizzaguy
04-18-2009, 13:31
Well at this point, the Exiles may in fact be more powerful than we might currently estimate, as it seems the Cattle God favors them this day with divinely inspired knowledge. The stars are not aligned for us today.
Pepperono advises against a direct and frontal assault, unless there is surely an overwhelming force to be used against them. I am still thinking of a peaceful way to resolve this. And I'm also thinking about watching my back. I grow weary of the constant threats against my people, and will be wary of sending out my entire force for any reason.
There are TWO traitors, so Greyblades is one... who is the other? :inquisitive:
The Inqusition shall continue their investigation, may the Beefy be with us all.
Edit: Also, why am I the only ones who actually declared war on Greyblades??!?!?!?
Vote:greyblades
We stand with you brother shlin
Captain Blackadder
04-18-2009, 15:56
VOte Greyblades
All Meat Eaters stand together.l
White_eyes:D
04-18-2009, 16:02
*ahem* you guys are missing something....:grin: (I just got a heads-up from Beefy...should make some heads turn MHAHAHAHA:devil:)
Edit:....might as well say it...."what will the north do??"
Greyblades
04-18-2009, 16:48
Eh? What are you talking about?
White_eyes:D
04-18-2009, 19:35
You well see...:deal::eyebrows:
Greyblades
04-18-2009, 19:36
Why does that worry me?
White_eyes:D
04-18-2009, 19:42
:shrug: *In Noble sons one*....I was basically chasing after a ghost, for half the game(Yoyoma)...when the time comes..."Don't beat your self up:wink:"
Pah, a righteous Crusade will stop all this nonsense from the heretic. BURN!! BURN!!!!!!!! BURN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Edit: That means, everyone send an army to teh Exiles! and destroy the giant buildings first.... they are teh weakness in teh Exiles' army...
Greyblades
04-18-2009, 20:00
^The building that is indistructible untill the rest of the army is killed?
...*sigh*... I'm dead if I dont come up with something. Doesnt help that an hour flighing in Cessna made me feel like I'm going to puke any second.
Quintus.JC
04-18-2009, 21:30
*and if you look "Noble sons 1"....The goal was to get rid of the mafia..*me* but after that, none of the princes would not even arm-wrestle each other:laugh4:.....let alone kill each other:thumbsdown: (we had to fight for the throne)*
I did try ever so hard... tried.... :skull:
:focus:
Vote: Greyblades
:book:
Your army is basically invincible because of your buildings.
Your buidlings can't be destroyed because your soldiers are alive.
THIS...IS...MADNESS!
Edit: To Greyblades of course.
Greyblades
04-18-2009, 21:33
No my building soups them up, not makes them invincible. The building itself is set to self destruct in a blast large enough to devestate the entire country when the last soldier dies.
So if thousands of unarmoured peasants rush the buildings your country would be destroyed?
:book:
Greyblades
04-18-2009, 21:36
My troops are near invincible, even more in the home country, your peasants wouldnt stand a chance on their own.
But if there are A LOT of them? :yes:
Greyblades
04-18-2009, 21:40
Not unless they are in blast proof armour. Without that they wouldnt even be able to reach my cities gates before running in panic.
Askthepizzaguy
04-18-2009, 22:45
I won't be invading his lands until we come up with a proper, viable strategy. He's going to be destroyed, outside his own territory. We cut off trade and we send in spies, and we think before we act.
That is my suggestion. I don't want to lose half of my horde or all of it in vain. Let's think on this some more.
However, my defensive alliance with the Exiles is canceled.
Greyblades
04-18-2009, 22:46
You do realise I could convert at anytime?
Askthepizzaguy
04-18-2009, 22:57
You do realise I could convert at anytime?
You do realize you've given us no reason to believe you?
1. Send the heretic vegetarians onto a ship, and the Hungry Khan's navy and the Decapodian Navy will escort them out to sea where we will.... resettle them somewhere else....
2. Allow missionaries and inspectors inside your country
3. Surrender immediately.
4. Convert to the Cattle God religion.
Then I will let you trade with us and renew ties.
Greyblades
04-18-2009, 23:07
You do realize you've given us no reason to believe you?
1. Send the heretic vegetarians onto a ship, and the Hungry Khan's navy and the Decapodian Navy will escort them out to sea where we will.... resettle them somewhere else....
2. Allow missionaries and inspectors inside your country
3. Surrender immediately.
4. Convert to the Cattle God religion.
Then I will let you trade with us and renew ties.
Allo I would like to take you up on your offer I have a better plan. All it will take is me to get beefy's approval for my plan and shlin, and his band of burned out bums, will look like idiots. Thanks but I think its worth the risk.
Askthepizzaguy
04-18-2009, 23:10
Allo I would like to take you up on your offer I have a better plan. All it will take is me to get beefy's approval for my plan and shlin, and his band of burned out bums, will look like idiots. Thanks but I think its worth the risk.
Your words disappoint me. You will now be destroyed.
Vote: Greyblades
I answer the call to Chee-had against the swine. I shall take my sword and cut deep into the belly of the infidel.
-Pepperono, Holy Warrior of Pizzslam
Greyblades
04-18-2009, 23:14
Well, if my plan fails I'm dead anyway so what do I have to lose but a few extra soldiers stamping around my yard.
Askthepizzaguy
04-18-2009, 23:25
Men of the Holy Word of the Cattle God; Men of Pizzslam; Men of Beefolicism; Men of honor who love freedom and justice: I call to convene a council of the Holy Order of Beef-Eaters. Shlin28, YLC, QJC, TheFlax, and anyone else who requests permission to enter the meeting, please send me a message via pigeon.
We must discuss a plan of attack. Men of Reenk and Roink; we don't trust you so don't bother.
Reenk Roink
04-18-2009, 23:32
Men of the Holy Word of the Cattle God; Men of Pizzslam; Men of Beefolicism; Men of honor who love freedom and justice: I call to convene a council of the Holy Order of Beef-Eaters. Shlin28, YLC, QJC, TheFlax, and anyone else who requests permission to enter the meeting, please send me a message via pigeon.
We must discuss a plan of attack. Men of Reenk and Roink; we don't trust you so don't bother.
The twin kingdoms and their allies would never deal with you in the first place. :rolleyes: Sort your own mess out. :laugh4:
Askthepizzaguy
04-18-2009, 23:37
The twin kingdoms and their allies would never deal with you in the first place. :rolleyes: Sort your own mess out. :laugh4:
As far as I know, you have no allies besides Aresea. Your other "ally" has declared neutrality. And they will deal with me; they already have.
Perhaps you need to get your own house in order before you tell us to sort out our own messes. Your information appears to be out of date; or you're telling me that your allies are actually liars and traitors, which foils their plans. Either way, you have reason to be disappointed.
Reenk Roink
04-18-2009, 23:39
As far as I know, you have no allies besides Aresea. Your other "ally" has declared neutrality. And they will deal with me; they already have.
Perhaps you need to get your own house in order before you tell us to sort out our own messes. Your information appears to be out of date; or you're telling me that your allies are actually liars and traitors, which foils their plans. Either way, you have reason to be disappointed.
Ok... :laugh4:
Greyblades
04-19-2009, 00:16
*wonders if the crusaders will realise how open they will be to surprise attacks when they march into my lands*
Askthepizzaguy
04-19-2009, 00:40
*wonders if the crusaders will realise how open they will be to surprise attacks when they march into my lands*
*Wonders if you realize how royally boned you are. Unless you're indestructible and the game is totally unbalanced and unwinnable, you will die. This I vow.*
Reenk Roink
04-19-2009, 00:42
The pizza khaan is just mad because he can't take Greyblades 1v1! :laugh4::laugh4::laugh4:
Or perhaps it is because his alliance has proved so ephemeral. ~;p
Askthepizzaguy
04-19-2009, 00:45
The pizza khaan is just mad because he can't take Greyblades 1v1! :laugh4::laugh4::laugh4:
Or perhaps it is because his alliance has proved so ephemeral. ~;p
*yawns, rolls eyes*
Greyblades
04-19-2009, 00:45
*Wonders if you realize how royally boned you are. Unless you're indestructible and the game is totally unbalanced and unwinnable, you will die. This I vow.*
*Wonders if ATPG is familliar with the many unorthodox methods of using explosive arrows.*
Askthepizzaguy
04-19-2009, 00:47
*Wonders if ATPG is familliar with the many unothadox methods of using explosive arrows.*
*explosive arrow destroys his spelling mistakes* :laugh4:
Greyblades
04-19-2009, 00:48
Yeah yeah yeah...
Still even if I fail I hope at least it'll make an interesting read.
Reenk Roink
04-19-2009, 00:57
Behold the valor. The selflessness for the Beefy cause!
I don't want to lose half of my horde or all of it in vain. Let's think on this some more.
:laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4: :laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4:
:laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4: :laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4:
:laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4: :laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4:
:laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4: :laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4:
:laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4: :laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4:
Before he tells you that it was cunning, planning, or foresight, do recall these attributes when the pizza khaan allied himself with apostates to escape an early death. :yes:
edit: so the max number of smilies is 50 in a post and 10 in a sig : l a u g h 4 :
Greyblades
04-19-2009, 00:59
Yes, I am questioning why I saved his backside in the first place.
Askthepizzaguy
04-19-2009, 01:02
Behold the valor. The selflessness for the Beefy cause!
*yawns in the direction of the fools who aren't even brave enough to take on the Exiles at all*
*massive wall of sarcastic smiley face spam withheld to keep the thread not looking trashy*
Beefy187
04-19-2009, 02:07
Hours later, old Beefy finally comes back with the tea he promised.
"Sorry Ladies and Gentlemen.. My back started acheing..."
What Beefy saw is total chaos in the meeting room. While, it was done in fairly civilized manner, verbal fights were breaking out. Beefy predicted a potential fist fight.
"Enough!!! I suggest you all go back to your country and work hard for another 6 months!! Then I will only let those in who can behave them selves!! Go now! Go!"
After Beefy kicked the last representitve out of his chair, Beefy remembered and shouted to the leaving backs.
"Well... Drink your tea first then go."
After an silent 5 minutes of sipping tea, each left to their country, preparing for fist fights with sharp weapons and deadly arrows.
"Younglings younglings... I wonder where their energy comes from :sweatdrop:" Beefy said to him self. and slowly started walking back to his room to enjoy the next meal... Roast Beef and Caesar Salad.
Night will end soon as I receives orders from enough peoples.
Greyblades
04-19-2009, 02:12
So now my fate lies in chance's hands... I hope I at least go out with a bang!
...we realy need a guy fawks smilie.
Beefy187
04-19-2009, 02:14
Goes and rolls some dices
:beam:
Greyblades
04-19-2009, 02:58
I'll go find my praying gloves.
Considering there is only the Great Beefy Cattle God, I think your prayers will go unanswered :yes:
Greyblades
04-19-2009, 13:25
So... I'm guessing we are going to have to wait another day for the writeup?... anyone got a pack of cards?
White_eyes:D
04-19-2009, 14:06
Beefy was wondering if you should get a green light for what your asking.......:book:
I told him the only thing I could..:shrug:
You will see:clown::clown::clown:
Greyblades
04-19-2009, 14:09
Well if I succed it will be great, if I lose It will at least make good reading so either way I'm fine.
Askthepizzaguy
04-19-2009, 16:14
You have nothing to worry about tonight, Greyblades. Be on alert and stuff, but raising a grand army, this time comprised of much different people, spontaneously and without much planning or warning, didn't happen this time.
Sure, we have allies but they are disorganized. And, I demand to know why Buranda is silent on these matters. Furthermore, what is the position of Aresea and Beefdom on these matters? Do you care at all that we found the vegetarians?
Consul Lacy smirks, as she lets her gaze drift over to Pepperono.
"Soon it won't matter what the Aresean nobility thinks...and who is that by your side, representative Pepperono?"
*A blue-ish magical portal opens*
*Roy's head pops out*
"Oi!"
"The meeting is adjourned until 6 months time! Don't you know the time!?!?!? Some people..."
*Roy's head went back in the portal - the portal shimmers, and disappeared*
Askthepizzaguy
04-19-2009, 16:48
Consul Lacy smirks, as she lets her gaze drift over to Pepperono.
"Soon it won't matter what the Aresean nobility thinks...and who is that by your side, representative Pepperono?"
Who? Oh... that's a member of our royal family, Prince Koriander. He's studying to be a diplomat, so that he can better serve prince Basillo if and when Khan Greenpepperous ascends to Pizza heaven. Are you suggesting an all-out war against Aresea is imminent, Consul?
I can't say the Areseans have been either diplomatic or cooperative, and no one is really arguing in their defense. I think they are allied to some insignificant country, but I can't be certain. Since they refused to join the Crusade or the Chee-had, have dubious friendships, and they send strange and unfriendly diplomats Sharky and Tunaface... I am starting to wonder if it is worth the trouble to defend them. The Hungry Khan won't be invading Aresea. At this point, it's the best we can do, and at this point, it's purely because we have more important matters to attend to with these Exiles.
edit:
"The meeting is adjourned until 6 months time! Don't you know the time!?!?!? Some people..."
Consider it said just before we left.
Reenk Roink
04-19-2009, 16:52
You have nothing to worry about tonight, Greyblades. Be on alert and stuff, but raising a grand army, this time comprised of much different people, spontaneously and without much planning or warning, didn't happen this time.
Sure, we have allies but they are disorganized. And, I demand to know why Buranda is silent on these matters. Furthermore, what is the position of Aresea and Beefdom on these matters? Do you care at all that we found the vegetarians?
:laugh4::laugh4::laugh4: :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: :laugh4::laugh4::laugh4: :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: :laugh4::laugh4::laugh4:
:laugh4::laugh4::laugh4: :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: :laugh4::laugh4::laugh4: :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: :laugh4::laugh4::laugh4:
:laugh4::laugh4::laugh4: :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: :laugh4::laugh4::laugh4: :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: :laugh4::laugh4::laugh4:
:charge:
Pah, time travellers now eh? First a buncha mongols came... then the fish people... and now TIME TRAVELLERS!?!?!?
THIS... IS... MADNESS!!!
PS: How did the Consul know you got a companion? I can't see him anywhere...
Greyblades
04-19-2009, 16:56
You have nothing to worry about tonight, Greyblades. Be on alert and stuff, but raising a grand army, this time comprised of much different people, spontaneously and without much planning or warning, didn't happen this time.
Sure, we have allies but they are disorganized. And, I demand to know why Buranda is silent on these matters. Furthermore, what is the position of Aresea and Beefdom on these matters? Do you care at all that we found the vegetarians?
I dont plan for your soldeirs to kill even one of mine, but who knows what will happen.
Reenk Roink
04-19-2009, 17:00
I dont plan for your soldeirs to kill even one of mine, but who knows what will happen.
Do you actually think the heretic latrine cleaner would attack you? :laugh4: He is trying to find people to fight his fight. :rolleyes:
What more do you expect from the foolish "khaan" whose only hope is to drown out the other voices in the council to feel self important.
:furious3::furious3::furious3::furious3::furious3::furious3:
But events have been set into place for some fireworks! :wink: :beam: :2thumbsup:
White_eyes:D
04-19-2009, 17:01
All I can say is....If ATPG thinks this "Chee-had" is a wise idea..he has never played "Noble Sons":laugh4:
Edit: I wish I could see the look on ATPG's face when he sees what happends.....:evilgrin:
Reenk Roink
04-19-2009, 17:03
All I can say is....If ATPG thinks this "Chee-had" is a wise idea..he has never played "Noble Sons":laugh4:
Why did you pull out of the game? :furious3: Still upset at you because of that. :mean:
White_eyes:D
04-19-2009, 17:04
Beefy needs help with this:bow:....plus, I help tug the players into war....something I can't do if I am just a player:shrug:
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