Noble Sons II- Price for Peace [Concluded] [Archive]

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Beefy187

04-03-2009, 13:21

I'm running out of time so, heres the actual game thread. Try not to post here until the game starts please.

If you are willing to sign up please do so in the other thread.

.................................................................................................... .............................................

Few years before the start....

"My dear friend.. I want you to look at this book"

The men passed the book to his friend.

"My God.... this is??"
"The Vegetarian book. By Charmaine Solomon. This book tells us that vegetarianism is the most healthy and ideal way of life. I want to live a healthy life.. Don't you?"
"Yes I do but..."
There was a reason why he hesitated to answer. There was several strong kingdoms dominating the land of Org. Kingdom of Beef also known as Beefdom was one of the strongst country in the region. While King Yoyoma of Beefdom was known as a kind king, he did not hesitate to execute anyone who criticize his exceccive consumption of meat.
"You do realise, promoting vegetarianism will be considered as treason?" he asked desperately.
The men sighed and said, "Godness! I cannot believe I am hearing this from a factionheir... Soon to be a king!!"
"My kingdom is no match against Beefdom!!"
"King Yoyoma is about to die. And my dear friend. I am about to become a king my self."
"But... But...."
"But what? Fine. Until we take control of the entire island.. We'll keep our mouth shut. Keep our ambition hidden. Then we can become vegetarians."
"You make it sound so easy."
"This is the dream worth dying for isn't it? You want to be a vegetarian don't you?"
"..... What ever."

.................................................................................................... .......................................

Yoyoma junior, was with his father in his last moments.
"My child... Promiss me the following.. Be good to your mother."
"I will father."
"Be good to the amazonians. Just show them a few Yoyo skills. Don't forget to invite them to the monthly beef banquet."
"I will father."
"Oh!! Do you mind returning that South Park DVD to the video shop?"
"I will father."
"Oh and one last thing...."
"Hurry up and die dad."
"Oracle told me this a few years.... There will be few mad fellows who will try take over the island in the next few years."
"Well theres always some of those loonies around."
"And they are going to turn the island vegetarian..."

Yoyoma Junior gasped.

"See.. I don't mind you completely ruining and wrecking the kingdom I made."
"Cheers. Its nice to know that you trust your son"
"But see. I'm about to die and it sucks if I see the cows I left behind.... not being turned into beef steaks. Or seeing Natasha eating grass and..."
"Righteo dad. I get it."
"I'm counting on you..."

.................................................................................................... ..............................................

So war was about to rage on the land. Tears and blood was about to rain upon the land of joy...

https://i387.photobucket.com/albums/oo312/mexico1910/noblesons/fullsizedmap.jpg

Sign up closing in three days. Please sign up from the other thread please

11.5/12

777Ares777
Shlin28
Captain Blackadder
Askthepizzaguy
Yoyoma
Reenk
White_eyes
taka
YLC
QJC
Warmen
Beefy

Reserve players (2)
Greyblades+ AVSM

Beefy187

04-03-2009, 13:51

The Aresea Confederacy - Sea Based Army

2.https://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp130/aries777777/Areseasmall-1.jpg
3. First adapted to the sea, we live in the large merciless oceans of the West Of Noble Sons land for generations, we became the first to develop naval technology because of are advantageous position are keen wit and wisdom of our elder Fish, recently we have adapted to land and now field land based army and naval technology, are galley's are huge and are mounted upon small whales for easy maneuvering, speed & morale depleting when faced against a coward like enemy! We were always the smallest of nations previously, but with our holdings on what was desolate land we now field one of the largest kingdoms in the whole field of noble sons land!
4. We were growing are technology, breeding it perfectly, the production of a massive warship powered by 6 million cod had been finished, and mercenaries hired in case we were attacked, but luckily we never got deeply involved in the conflicts of other petty kingdoms, allowing us to expand undisturbed, however with all nearby holding now occupied by others violence may, for the first time be a realistic consideration.....
5. Adapting giant sharks and dolphins to hold a sword, or hold a pike and fight for our nations honor!

Galleys - Best navy out of all kingdoms, truly a force to be reckoned with
Swordsmen & Pikemen - Given to truly fearsome fish, but lack the diversity and numbers to match more established land based powers
Cavalry - Non existant & laughable, we have sharks instead! much more efficient....
Archery - We gather Small Tunas with the agility and speed to fire with great prowess, however there size means they can only hold small bows meaning while incredibly agile and accurate are archery isn't particularly powerful

.................................................................................................... .............................................

The Royal Descendants of the House Schling, the most Holy Priests of the 28 Headed Cattle God, declare themselves to be independent of the corrupt Yoyoma's rule, and forms the Theocracy of the Shadowbull!

Speech by S. Lysimachus, the Most Holy High Priest of the 28 Headed Cattle God, Year 44 of King Yoyoma the Corrupt's reign.

The Holy Theocracy of the Shadowbull

2.https://i387.photobucket.com/albums/oo312/mexico1910/noblesons/bullflagsmall.jpg
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

3. In the Year 44, a minor pension issue between the King and the Most Holy Priest of the 28 Headed Cattle God turned into a bitter territorial dispute. Angered at his pension cut by 0.34 percent, S. Lysimachus declared the holdings of the Chruch of the 28 Headed Cattle God to be independent from the Kingdom of Beefdom. Luckily, the headstrong S. Lysimachus soon died due to an adverse allergic reaction to solid gold, and was succeeded by his less headstrong son Shlin II. Will he maintain the status quo? Will he aim for reunification? Will he seek the universal destruction of everything??? Nobody knows...

4. Back in the day of the First Age, the brave forefather of the House Schling died selflessly for a cause he didn't really understand... For his "sacrifice", his family is awarded the Priesthood of the 28 Headed Cattle God.

5. Between the First Age and the Second Age, much time were spent eating beefy, discussing the philosophy of eating beef, and generally complaining to the king about lack of funds. Later, they declared independence, and continues their whimsical lifestyle.

.................................................................................................... ....................................................
The Grand Republic of Buranda

https://img27.imageshack.us/img27/9720/blackadderian1jpg.gif

3 The Lands the republic settled in were populated by thousands of tribes, of different cultures, in a permanent state of war. however, the arrival of the first colonists changed all that. they were refugees from 'civilised' nations, forced from their homes. despite this, they were a clever, rich and advanced bunch. they carried sword and plate armour. the tribes had little. the republic founded the port city of Hallingon, now the capital. it was well developed, with modern designs, houses out of stone. they played the tribes against each other, assimilated the weak and allied with the strong. soon, by blood and deed, owns the entire peninsula. however, many tribes remained, in republican lands. they, in return for not fighting, given the infamous 'borderlands' lands on the borders, who could act a buffer against invasion. the republic now founded, it built new cities with wonder and science. the republic realised a opportunity for coin. the south of the peninsula, was a great bay, named the bay of carasi. it was potent for trade. they landed large expeditionary forces to the lands of the south, and took them over, much like they did on the peninsula. soon, they had conquered a large portion of land. merchants flourished, and the republic boomed. over, the new conquests were weak to surviving tribes, who had fled to other tribes, more powerful. the republic made new borderlands, and many tribes from the north went south, since there was a larger amount of land up for sale. the republic could have easily conquered much more, but political infighting and squabbling. To combat this, the position of lord chancellor was made, so that all men had a chance to become the grand ruler of Buranda

The Horde of the Hungry Khan

https://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb225/askthepizzaguy/HungryKhanateFlagSmall.jpg
3. The Hungry Khan once ruled all of Europa, a continent across the seas, and then became a fanatical follower of the Pizza Lord, and waged Jihad against the infidel, conquering three continents within the span of 12 years. The Hungry Khanate was defeated by the Sultan of Grog, and now his vast horde has been wandering the steppes ever since... growing more and more hungry.... eating everything that stood in their path.

4. During the time period of the Noble Sons I, the Hungry Khanate was at its peak, ruling the vast lands of another continent. Now they have come across a great vast plains separating the two continents, and have had nothing to eat for many months. In desperation, they have started to eat one another, and the armies of the Hungry Khan are now growing disloyal and undisciplined. They are seeking a new Lord to serve.

5. Since the common era began, the Hungry Hordes have found the lands of Beefdom have been left mostly unattended by the Great Yoyoma. Many cattle have vanished from the local farms, and many of the peasants have found their chicken, pigs, and lambs to be missing as well. Wheat fields have been picked clean, and tomatoes have been disappearing as well.

In the air, a strangely delicious smell is coming from the adjacent valley, where the Hungry Hordes are known to make camp. Their armies are vast, and they consider themselves neutral to everyone on this continent, so long as they are allowed to eat their strange foreign delicacy.... called a "pizza".

Kingdom of Beef/ Beefdom

https://i387.photobucket.com/albums/oo312/mexico1910/noblesons/beefdomflaghalf-1.jpg

https://i387.photobucket.com/albums/oo312/mexico1910/noblesons/opening.jpg

The Twin Kingdoms of Lesser Reenk and Greater Roink

https://i387.photobucket.com/albums/oo312/mexico1910/noblesons/roddentrabbitflagsmall-1.jpg

3. History of the kingdom: The Twin Kingdoms of Lesser Reenk and Greater Roink is a recently emerged polity centered between the Reenk and Roink mountain ranges. Before the land was united, the people who lived in the region were semi pastoral folk just beginning the war against the evil plant kingdom. They chose the giver of Beef as both their spiritual guide. However, they also made this giver of Beef their natural enemy and the obvious dissonance led to tensions which would have a huge impact. One day, a man who called himself the Reenkmeister united the various mountain tribes and carved out a kingdom, and all other states had to pay attention to the emerged power. However, one day vegetarian ninjas who were confused with the exact nature of the giver of Beef killed the Reenkmeister's family and so he left his kingdom to go and gather money for kung-fu lessons. A distant relative of the Reenkmeister known as Reenkmaistro took charge of the fledgling state and this is his story...
4. What they were doing during the time period of Noble Sons I: Living in a disunitied state as mountain tribesmen.
5. What they were doing from post Noble Sons I up until now: This is the period of unification described in the history culminating in the vegetarian ninja assassination.

Exiles

https://i387.photobucket.com/albums/oo312/mexico1910/noblesons/owl1half.jpg

0-10 Years after: House Whiteeyes is exiled and Yoyoma is crowned King of all Beefdom: House Whiteyes is broken and scattered by White_eyes being a illegitimate son of King Beefy, Many in the House abandoned it after Whiteeyes and his 'Failed revolution'. King Yoyoma angered by those that still stood loyally by but at the same time not secure enough to kill them outright, ordered a exile to the north for all those that supported or even related to 'false' Prince Whiteeyes.

10-20 Years later: House Whiteeyes begins to regroup and rebuild, even though they have lost much of there former Manpower, they still have many talented but disillusioned men. King Yoyoma sends a Royal decree that as his Vassal there new flag will be a Owl with White eyes but also to show his resentment; he forces it to have the word "útlegð" in it.

20-25 Years later: House Whiteeyes receives a visit from a Oracle from the Kingdom of Beefy who states "One out of the House Whiteeyes will receive a Shining Sword and with it, well cut the Yo-yo in half". With this, many of those previously disillusioned men, begin to regain their national pride and openly begin to deify King Yoyoma who laughs at such a feeble attempt at rebellion. He chooses to ignore it for now, he has Bigger problems at that moment and even House Whiteeyes can't field much of a army or hold much interest anyway.

25-30 Years later: Mines are uncovered in the north. With this Gold, House Whiteeyes intends to make it much more then a rebellion and there are reports of a very talented and charismatic Leader rising in House Whiteeyes lands. No one knows his origins, some say he is a dispossed Son of King Yoyoma, others think he might just be the one to carry the shining sword....TO BREAK THE YO-YO......

1. Order of the Sacred Kobe Beef

2.http://www.primetimemeats.co.nz/assets/images/products/KobeBeefStriploin.jpg

3. An Order created after rumours that other Kingdoms and peoples that were eating anything apart from Beef. With the sole purpose of spreading the glorious teachings of eating Beef, the Order would send Missionaries to foreign countries and kingdoms to preach and convert its population to eating Beef. Within Beefdom, the Order has an Inquisition that seeks out Heretics not eating Beef and purifies them with 'extreme' cleansing. The Order also has a standing army which it mobilizes when needed.

4. Formed shortly after the crowning of King Yoyoma, the works of the Order was so effective and efficient that the King Himself bestowed Grandmaster Taka with two pieces of the Best Kobe Beef in the land and gave him a large area the size of a small kingdom to carry on the Order's work. The Order was officially renamed to the Order of the Sacred Kobe Beef after receiving the two pieces of Kobe Beef, which are preserved and kept within the secret chambers of the Inquisition Head Quarters.

5. After launching several successful Beef Crusades across the land, the Order of the Sacred Kobe Beef now has a fairly large control of nearby lands and some far away. The Order's famous 'Steak Grilling Flame Thrower', a secret weapon with a cow's head spewing fire and used only by the most trusted within the Order chosen by Grandmaster Taka, purged the heretics and won most of their battles. The Order was thought to be incorruptible, until very recently (last week in fact) it was discovered that one of the low ranked soldiers secretly ate vegetables with his beef. He was 'cleansed' as an example to the other members of the Order.

With the vegetarian uprising increasing at an alarming rate, the Order is starting to struggle with its teachings. Everyone is considered suspicious, even the Order itself. Purge the Heretic Veg-eaters!

The Consulate of Yaks, Liquor and Cheese

https://i387.photobucket.com/albums/oo312/mexico1910/noblesons/consulflagsmall-1.jpg

The Consulate of Yaks, Liquor and Cheese was founded by the stunningly intelligent, devious, and ambitious Prince YLC of Beefdom. Having been exiled to the farthest shores of the continent, YLC quickly plotted revenge, to return with many mercenaries and citizen soldiers after having convinced many towns to join with him even when they shouldn't have or had no need, such was his wordcraft and charisma. He then created a network of spies to bring in the most information possible, and began trade routes to Beefdom. Beefdoms instability caused the trade routes to become threatened, and by clever manufacture, YLC had written into law that the Consulate must protect the trade routes by force. Using this as an excuse to "stabilize" the Kingdom of Beefdom, Prince YLC was able to garner the support of many awould be enemy, such was the mind and forethought of Prince YLC, who, in the name of the people, renounced his noble status and became one with the commoners, much to their rejoicing and furthering of his cause, such was the magnanimity of YLC.

So he allied with the killer White Eyes, knowing that since he was ruthless and already bloodied, White Eyes would only be too willing to help, for he had been blinded by his own greed for a throne that YLC no longer truly sought, such was the humility of YLC. And so it was thus that Prince YLC, through intrigue and manipulation, managed not only to turn the tables on his would be exilers, but met the love of his life, a beautiful assassin from a seaside village, named Sara. Many would ask about fair Sara, and how she had turned his heart towards good things, such is the tenderness of Consul Sara, and how YLC could associate, even love such a woman, but such was YLC's love and understanding. After YLC's most honorable death, for he made sure it was so, Consul Sara took over his duties, for she was most wise and capable, and began the forward progression in arms and technology, skyrocketing the Consulate far far ahead in terms of well being and position.

Consul Sara gave birth to twins, a boy and girl, who grew up amongst the most advanced technology and gained the best education available. The boy was named CLY, or Clay, and the girl was named LCY, or Lacy. Clay soon took over the vast and burgeoning technology industry, handling many of the new clockwork and steam products, both in design and construction, for Clay had forgiven Yoyoma of YLC's death, such was his compassion. But Lacy took the Consulship after her mother passed it down, and Lacy took up the ideals of her father, excelling in deception and war, such was her pride. Now she thinks silently of revenge as the Consulate begins to mobilize...

The Principality of Decapodia

https://i387.photobucket.com/albums/oo312/mexico1910/noblesons/Quintusshrimpsmall.jpg

The most ecclesiastical Principality of Decapod Crustaceania, was found by Grand Prince Quintus II, high priest of Decapodia. Grand Prince Quintus II was the son of Prince Quintus Julius Cicero, fifth son of King Beefy the great. After the war of the Beefdom succession and the ascendancy of Prince Yoyoma on the throne. Quintus II took his family and possessions away and migrated to the far corners of the world, founding the lands that his descents would rule for the following centuries. During the perilous trek, the Prince and his follows fed on the delicious shrimps and other crustaceans caught on the high seas. Quintus II was a very religious man and after finding apparent fulfilment, enlightenment and inner peace after eating the shrimps, founded the religion of Crustaceanism, and later became the first high priest of Crustaceanism and Grand Prince of Decopodia.

Centuries had past since the death of Grand Prince Quintus II. His descendents rule these lands, which gradually grew from a chain of small fishing villages to blistering metropolises of great temples and docks. Warehouses, banks and traders grew within the city walls. Merchants from Decapodia sailed as far as the other side of the world to trade prawns, lobsters and seashells for other luxurious goods. The Capital of Decapodia – Dendrobranchiata, although not as populous as some of the other cities in Beefdom, has been universally regarded as one of the most organised and prosperous city in all Beefland.

Geography of the Principality of Decapodia

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

The Principality of Decapodia consists of the 2 major island plus 1 minor island on the top right handside of the map, also under its control are some of the costal towns around the carangidae sea.

Government and leadership
Although a Principality. The government type is actually constitutional monarchy. Traditionally every Grand Prince of Decapdia also holds the honoured title of High Priest of Crustacenism, the official religious leader within the kingdom. The Grand Prince rules with the consent and guidance of both the Church and the agreement of the Nobility, with the Senate (consisting of the most influential family of nobles, bishops and merchants) helping to introduce taxes and social reforms, and ultimately in times of war, provides generals and troops for the Grand Prince.

Royal Family
The Royal family of Decapodia are all direct descendents of Prince Quintus Julius Cicero and Quintus II. Traditionally every first-born is made the ruler of the lands, no matter male or female. The current Grand Prince of Decapodia is Grand Prince Secundus Julius Cicero. The kingdom has not been at war with anyone else for centuries, and following the traditions and customs, Seundus is a preacher of religion and peace, and has received the Noble Beefy Peace Prize for decades in running. Under the astute rule of Secundus and the Senate, the Decapodian economy contuned to grow, and gradually the prolonged war against poverty is almost complete in total victory….

But are things about to change? Grand Prince Secundus suffers from type 2 diabetes, which prevents him from performing religious rituals such as the feed of the sweet and sour prawn meal and many others. Grand Prince Secundus’ health has been deteriorating for the past years and it has been widely speculated throughout the realm that the Middle-aged Prince would die soon, so that leaves with the big question of….

Succession. Secundus has 4 children; Princess Una VIII, Prince Quintus XIV, Prince Septimus VII and Princess Nova IX. Traditionally the first born would inherit the throne, however due to recent events the Grand Prince has some dilemmas…..

The Current financial recessions has hit the whole of Beefdom hard, even the elites of Decapodia are feeling the effects. History has taught us that Depression helped to cause WWII, and if history has taught us anything else, that would be history always repeat itself, and if it indeed repeats it self, we could probably expect the same thing as previously stated – itself. The growing recessions has caused various rival kingdoms of grow more towards militarism, the rival kings and dukes aren’t very peaceful. Storming clouds gather over Beefdom as mistrust and rivalry threaten to flood the world in a tide of total war. Ambition and greedy from rival kings and princes must be checked, and the king must think of a strong enough leader from one of his children….

Army Composition

Geographically Decapodia is an amphibious country with islands and coasts. Naturally its main strength lies within its capabilities of navy, and Decapodian navy is universally recognized as the best in all of Beefdom. The Malacostraca armada is the most feared navy in all the lands, with powerful ships such as the Amphipoda Galleass and Isopoda Carracks, the naval powers of Decapodia is unchallenged. However their land army is quite different.

Cavalry – almost completely lacking in heavy cavalry, save for a few units of lightly armored horseboys consisting of untrained teenagers. It’s usefulness only extends for chasing down routers and scaring little misbehaving children.
Cavalry wise Decapodia must rely on mercenaries from the steppes, since native cavalry is obviously very useless.

Swordsmen – Mediocre at best, the Decapodian swordsmen never exceeds their expectations, and at times often performs lower than it. Although able to afford good equipments, these troops fights with less efficiency and brutality than most of the countries around the middle and mountainous reign of the map.

Pikemen – Well disciplined and very well armoured. The Decapodia Pikemen are trained to counter enemy cavalry in perfect fashion. Their long pikes are set to receive enemy charges and use the charge force against their foes.

Archers– Decapodia boasts the best archers in the lands. Very well trained and excellently funded, these troops are the best killers in distance. Annual archery competitions are held to find the best archers and the most talented ones are drafted into the Prince’s personal retinues. The professional archer corp. of Decapodia is very formidable in combat. While the Prince’s retinue are comparable to legendary Elvis shots in Lord of the Rings, and often snatches victory in the face of defeat with one word – “Fire!”

The Kingdom Of The Swisslanders And Mongols!

https://i442.photobucket.com/albums/qq147/Warman8/SwisslandMongol88.jpg

The Kingdom Of Swissland was made over 5 years ago...... It was started by the Gloruius King Warman88! He led his Swissland Armies thoughout the Total War Multiplayer lands, taking over the lands by force. His Empire joined with some Mongols, who needed a new home. Together, KingWarman88's Empire, The Swissland Empire is growing. It destroyed some of the Top Nations in MP and been expanding, even with the King's recent health problems.

During The Time Period Of the "Nolbe Sons I" era, The Kingdom was not in the region, as the King was busy fighting his MP foes. Afterwards, they begain to head towards a region called "The Game Room" in the .Org Kingdom. Swissland/Mongol forces are now swarming towards this postion, after a attempt on the King's life by a man named White_Eyes :D and King Jan III Sobieski.

Swiss Aroumded Pikeman: The Kingdom Of Swissland has excellet Pikemen. They are able to stop any good fighting cavarly without any problems, and even some foot men. They are known to fight to the death and take no prisoners!

Swiss Men-At-Arms/Swiss Samurai: These Swordmen are heavily armouded. When the Pikemen need support, they are ready to support them in battle and help them beat back the enemy and overwhelm them. There are also Swiss Samurai in the army. Few in numbers, however, they are very fierce warriors also.

Archers: Their foot archers are excellet, coming from the dismounted Mongols that they recieved. They are not the best, since they prefer horseback archery, however, they are useful anyhow.

Knights: The Swisslanders have no good cavarly but bodyguards units, which the King doesn't use since he fights on foot. The Mongols provide their Heavy Cavarly. They are a fiece cavarly force, able to break the back of any enemy army, if given the chance!
__________________

Beefy187

04-09-2009, 00:57

Beefy187

04-09-2009, 01:27

In the history of the island, this period is known as the age of battles. With each kings slowly becoming aware of the alliance of the vegie eaters or the broccolian syndicate, In 1400 AD king Yoyoma anounced the meeting of 10 leaders in the sacred mountains, ruled by the tribal leader loved by all leaders, Beefy.

Beefy greeted the young leaders as they entered the sacred city, Pax Andres however when he saw Yoyoma Junior, he quickly looked away.

"Master Beefy... I bow to you mighty sir" said Yoyoma, suspeciously staring at the old master.

"Well... urgh... I never thought king of the most powerful kingdom was soo young... Please enjoy your stay here young king" Beefy replied attempting to sneak away from the scene.

"This is your house Beefy. Party doesn't start without your presence"

"Really, I prefer not to intrupt your business. You see, our policy is not to take sides of anyone."

"Well, thanks again for providing us the place to hold the meeting master Beefy." With that, Yoyoma left to meet the other leaders.

"Man... I really don't like kings of Beefdom." shaking the head, Beefy walked off to get some tea.

.................................................................................................... .......................................

"Gents. I am more then certain that you know exactly what todays meeting is about.Thats if you have a decent oracles around... As you all know, there is a prophecy in this land. If the vegie king ever takes the throne, there will be centuries of chaos to follow. My oracle told me that vegitarian king was on the rise. Cunningly hiding his hidden ambitions. Preparing his army for conquest! The fate of this island is in your hands gentlemen. We have to destroy the vegitarians IMMEDIATELY!"

There was a few claps heard from leaders like taka who have been a friend of Beefdom for a long time. However for other leaders like Pizzakhaan, and YLC II things were little different.

"Listen to him gentlemen. Did you hear what he was saying? Its as if Beefdom is the leader of this island. Horde of Pizza do not want the vegetarians as much as you do Yoyoma.. But we cannot torrelate 'oh my... listen to me. I'm your boss! Obey me' behavior!!! Our blood of Khaan will not endure this humiliation!!"

YLC stood up and supported Pizza Khaans comment.

"Its as if we are all suspects but king Yoyoma him self! It could be him as much as one of us! You may have the most powerful kingdom in this region. But if you think that makes you innocent, your wrong!"

Yoyoma sighed and apologized.
"If that is the impression I gave to you. I apologize. It could be any of us here. I ask for a crusade to the traitors. Our ancesters said 'Those who hate the meet, shall pay the price with death.' Thats exactly what we should do."

.................................................................................................... .....................................

Sipping his tea, Beefy sighed.
Beefy already knew who the veggie eaters were. But he dare not tell as he loved both meat and salads.

He looked out side the window and saw the grey clouds, covering the sun and black cloud slowly approaching from the horizon.

"Storm is coming" he said. Shutting the window. Looking them.

The game is about to commence in few hours. I have not written a pm yet

And I plan to do that when I finish my morning study session. Please sit tight :bow:

Beefy187

04-09-2009, 09:24

Role reveal on the public is not allowed!!

Although theres is not much you can reveal as you all got different stuff and you can easily forge it anyway..

Votes won't lynch anyone. Its just what the meeting reckons who the mafia is. Invading and stuff is done in private.

ULC

04-09-2009, 09:51

The newly "elected" Consul Lacy enters and takes her seat, as YLC II (YLC's nephew) flanks her, a roll of parchments under his arm. Lacy drums her fingers as she awaits the other "nobles".

"How predictable of them, to be late to a meeting that, among other things, holds the stability and peace of this land in delicate balance. See cousin, what good high borne are? The inherent belief one is better induces one to think all is unimportant but oneself..."

Askthepizzaguy

04-09-2009, 10:02

The Hungry Khan's ambassador, Pepperono, rides into the mountain camp flanked by his heavily armored bodyguards. They are armed with lances, swords, maces, and composite bows. They appear to be of Turkic descent, so they are obviously not native to this island. Pepperono is sporting a long goatee that looks almost mongolian in origin, possibly a borrowed custom. The armor appears to be Central Asian in style, however their weapons appear to be European in origin, strangely enough. One of the older warriors even appeared to be carrying a shield which was clearly Scottish, and one of the war horses appeared to have the royal seal of the French king upon its barding. They all had the insignia of the Pizza Lord upon their cloaks.

The ambassador's bodyguards began to set up camp on a rolling hilltop near the actual meeting place; tent poles and pegs were pounded into the ground, and from their caravan they brought out some lightweight wooden tables and chairs, as well as rolls of parchment and ink. Several royal banners and flags were displayed about camp, and one of the workers began construction on a small wooden sentry post so that the camp itself would have night watch. The camp was encircled with wooden stakes and they began digging a ditch around the camp, leaving room for the horses to be tied up underneath a modest shelter for them as well.

Pepperono retired to his tent after the work was complete, and ordered guard rotations every 8 hours. He had already sent fast horsemen to carry messages to several nations on the island to seek vital trade agreements. He sent a brief letter to the Beefy one to inform him that his absence was due to the weariness of travel and setting up camp, and that he would very shortly attend the meeting after a decent nap. A couple guards went looking for food sources in the mountains, but did not return all night.

Vote: Abstain

Beefy187

04-09-2009, 10:06

You could've asked for some food :sweatdrop:

Meh I'm neutral I'm neutral

Askthepizzaguy

04-09-2009, 10:13

The Khan's Ambassador is asleep, but his proxy approaches Master Beefy.

I am authorized to speak in the name of Khan's ambassador to deliver a message of greeting. Please excuse my lack of diplomatic tact; I am actually just a scribe and a bowman, not a learned diplomat. However, your offer of food pleases us. The Hungry Khan would greatly smile upon anyone who can offer us food.

Speaking of which, out nation has very little arable land, and we have no real farming knowledge. We would be most interested in knowing what kind of foods you have in surplus that you'd be willing to trade.

Beefy187

04-09-2009, 10:17

Well lets see, we have lamb meets and salad...

Oh and herb tea. How does that sound my friends?

Askthepizzaguy

04-09-2009, 10:27

I'm afraid we don't have much to offer in return; our resources are presently limited to our breed of Mongolian (light-weight, fast) horse and the Destrier (heavy-weight, powerful) War Horse. We also find in our possession some copper ore near our small lake with practically undrinkable water. We have traded for some other resources already but we have none in surplus to give out.

We are interested in your lambs, and do you have tomatoes, with which to make your salad?

Beefy187

04-09-2009, 10:58

shlin28

04-09-2009, 11:08

*A serene figure walks into the meeting*

His Holyness sends his greetings to his fellow kings. :bow:

This new... vegetarian cult that has sprung up on our island is a dire threat, not only to us, but to the Divine Cattle God too. As the Cattle's most faithful servant, his Holyness urges all to seek the heretic in their Kingdoms, and once they are unearthed, to join the mighty Crusade of the righteous that shall crush their measly cult!

- Roy the Mad, Ecclesiarch Tertia of the Holy Theocracy.

Beefy187

04-09-2009, 12:26

Someone asked me how the roles were chosen.

Since I don't trust random.org, I gave you all the number between one to eleven, Ares being Ace of diamonds and warman being jack of diamonds.

Shuffled the cards, mixed it up couple of times until I was bored and picked the top two to be mafia. So it is infanct more random then random. org

Captain Blackadder

04-09-2009, 12:32

Lord Chancellor Blackadder arrives he is dressed in the most esquisite clothing imaginable he turns to the others

We are a new nation here amongst all of you and we wish to trade for we are wealthy and have many contacts in the land to the east who provide us with all manner of exotic goods.

Askthepizzaguy

04-09-2009, 13:00

Please provide us with a list of tradeable goods, Republic of Buranda. :bow:

Beefy187

04-09-2009, 13:05

Beefy wondered to him self..

I would discuss who the vegetarians are if I were one of them :juggle2:

Askthepizzaguy

04-09-2009, 13:12

Beefy wondered to him self..

I would discuss who the vegetarians are if I were one of them :juggle2:

OOC-

I'd strap you down to a chair and interrogate you until you squealed, but short of that, I doubt there are any clues yet. I'd prefer to wait and see how people behave before we blithely eliminate them.

Beefy187

04-09-2009, 13:46

OOC-

I'd strap you down to a chair and interrogate you until you squealed, but short of that, I doubt there are any clues yet. I'd prefer to wait and see how people behave before we blithely eliminate them.

Good luck with that ambassador. I seriously don't know how your few "elite" body guards can get through my whole army and get me strapped on the chair :sweatdrop:

While you are all my friend, if you decide to do anything to me or any of other kings in my presence, I have no choice but to order my men to kill you.

Sorry its not personal. Its business :beam:

Thermal

04-09-2009, 18:28

Sharky was incredibly dim witted, how he qualified as a diplomat no one knows, but he was chosen as the representative for the Aresea Confederacy. He approached the gates of the Diplomatic residence he was requested at and sat his rather slimy bottom down onto a free chair. He was trembling at the fins, and dared not to say a word, in fact he was hyperventilating

Quintus.JC

04-09-2009, 19:47

Suddenly two figures entered about the room in a rather dysfunctional and mismatched fashion.

One of them was old and estimable, “I, Ostracod, high ambassador of the most ecclesiastical Principality of Decapod Crustaceania, is here on behalf of Grand Prince Secundus II, ruler of all the lands across the north east seas. To discuss the menacing rise of the vegetarian cult among Beefland. Please excuse us for our lateness.”

The other figure was young and dressed rather dandily; who walked with a slightly drunken swagger and with a slurred speech he said “I, Prince Septimus, son of the most majestic Grand Prince Secundus, ruler of the blah blah blah. Is here for the meeting, sorry we’re late and all that, cheers for waiting” His constant flailing arm and hand gestures made him appear unfocused, ataxic and a bit drunk.

“So…” Said Septimus “What is this meeting all about then?”

Askthepizzaguy

04-09-2009, 20:39

Still technically a mafia game, so let's make sure to abstain or vote and stuff.

White_eyes:D

04-09-2009, 21:21

A young diplomat enters, confused by the letter he was sent; which said "We must stop the vegetarian cult". As he expected to see the leaders shouting "Something about a Crusade but found nothing but random talk and empty promises". He mearly shakes his head and leaves....he has planning to do:book:Vote:abstain *how does voting work on here???*

Askthepizzaguy

04-09-2009, 21:34

As I recall, voting doesn't even lead to a lynch; it's more of a declaration of war. I better go re-read the rules.

taka

04-09-2009, 21:40

In came Grandmaster Taka, leader of the Order of the Sacred Kobe Beef. To his left was an old Inquisitor, with an equally old leather book, containing all the secret methods of raising Wagyu Beef to the best quality. On the right side of the Grandmaster was his personal bodyguard, in gleaming polished slim plate armour. He was carrying an long slim Odachi sword, with the religious words "神戸ビーフ" inscripted on the blade near the hilt.

He sat in his seat silently waiting for the meeting to properly commence

Vote: Abstain

White_eyes:D

04-09-2009, 21:49

Ok....so voting=you declare war on *insert player here*.....but I am guessing it also means only the closest nations would benefit....:book:

Edit:If you win....I recall Beefy saying even with three people it could be hard to win....:sweatdrop:

Yoyoma1910

04-09-2009, 23:55

Into these chambers entered the young and noble Master of the art of the YoYo, Yoyoma II. Now king of the various lands and people of Beefdom, he found himself driven to bring his kingdom glory that would resound across all the Island of Terre aux Boeufs (as it was known to the people of Beefdom).

His dress was well fitting of his role. Though certainly the leathers and fabrics that covered his body were stately and befitting a king, they were not to the point of gaudy and really quite functional. Blues, reds, whites with black spots and gold embroidery, Yoyoma wanted to dress in a manner that represented his state and people.

Following closely behind him were two columns of some of Beefdom's best known troops, the Amazonian warrioresses. Towering above most men and holding spears sharp enough to easily pierce the finest steel armor, they marched in a practiced and well regimented step. They each wore their ceremonial garb of various animal hides and bones, clad upon their bodies. Beauty, hard a vicious was there's, as loing as they did not speak. Because, quite frankly, they talked a bit too mannish. Yoyoma II mildly dreaded the coming day where he would have to pick one for his queen.

Upon entering he was happy to see some faces he knew and curious of faces he had only heard of as yet. Grand Master Taka was very dear to him, and his friendly face was well appreciated. As well, he was quite happy to see the religious men of The Holy Theocracy of the Shadowbull and The Principality of Decapodia, their spirituality would serve these lands well. During his stint in the navy he had become familiar with many Areseans, and regarded their naval prowess greatly.

There were also ambassadors and leadrers from factions relatively new to Terre aux Boeufs, The Khaan had sent forth a small Hord of hungry men. And the recently elected Lord Chancellor himself had come. Both men wore garb of peoples until recently foreign to the island. Now they were all neighbors.

He also saw people of factions he knew may cause him difficulty. The consulate had already arrived, and was casting looks about at the nobility. Also, a man the exiled had quietly exited whilst Yoyoma arrived.

And of course, the host of the meeting, the Venerable Beefy was there, though he seemed a bit uncomfortable with the occasion. Yoyoma, did however have great respect for him and his neutrality. He wasn't sure about the whole occasional stand alone salad thing Beefy had,though.

Yoyoma began greeting his fellow dignitaries and statesmen, and eventually addressed those who had been kind and good enough to arrive.

"Gentlemen. You are all gracious to come here. There is much afoot, and those of us with hearts of pure meat must join together, else all is lost. But I will not weigh your ears down so soon.

First, I have brought the finest cattle for us all to feast upon.

Let us, then, prepare a Barbecue fit for... well for kings!! And democratically elected.. or appointed people... or heck, anyone who loves Barbecue.

Meat for all!"

Vote:abstain

Beefy187

04-10-2009, 05:29

As I recall, voting doesn't even lead to a lynch; it's more of a declaration of war. I better go re-read the rules.

Sorry my internet was off for the whole day.. I'm borrowing my uncles internet right now :sweatdrop:

There would be a meeting every 6 months and during this time, all army will have to withdraw and declare peace until the meeting ends. Not going to a meeting means you are a traitor and war will be declared from all nations.

6 month = one gaming night btw.

Voting is your official declaration of war, which you don't even have to follow as actual war will be done through night action pm.

ULC

04-10-2009, 07:45

Lacy straightens the papers in front of her before looking up with a hard stare at Sharky.

"You there, ambassador, you speak for Aresea, do you not? Whatfor are you here? Where is your "Lord"?"

Beefy187

04-10-2009, 08:05

Beefy was boredly staring at his clock. Thinking to him self, how to get rid of the "noble kings" once they have come to conclusion, or once the meeting has gone passed the dead line.

They were using his best coffee table.. And he wanted it back soon as possible..

Beefy walked to the meeting room and gave a quick glance..

He spotted King Yoyoma, grandmaster taka and Lord chanceller Blackadder present. As well as consul Lacy. While others simply sent the diplomats.

Beefy smiled to him self.. This is going to be interesting..

Askthepizzaguy

04-10-2009, 08:19

So, does this mean the game ends with a "happily ever after?"

Beefy187

04-10-2009, 08:30

Happily ever after? Whats that :inquisitive:

This aint fairly tale.. THIS IS Noble Sons!!! :furious3:

shlin28

04-10-2009, 10:51

What kind of things should we include in our night orders? What about if we just want to defend? :embarassed:

Beefy187

04-10-2009, 12:24

Anything you want it to happen in the next 6 months

If you just want to defend, maybe something like "organize boarder patrol, secret police, locate the army camp at this location and that"

I take it no wars will be declared right now? Very well. I will end the phase when I wake up tommorow

Quintus.JC

04-10-2009, 16:02

Vote: Abstain

Yoyoma1910

04-10-2009, 16:44

I have brought with me my Diplomatic Core, all well educated men, to establish embassies with each principality. The hope of Beefdom is that our great Island will grow stong through the trade of goods and culture. Please accept my request of a diplomatic envoy.

Beefdom request's the establishment of Embassies with the other factions.

Thermal

04-10-2009, 18:24

Lacy straightens the papers in front of her before looking up with a hard stare at Sharky.

"You there, ambassador, you speak for Aresea, do you not? Whatfor are you here? Where is your "Lord"?"

Sharky gets nervous as he is asked a question, he gets his words muddled up and completely disappointments his audience

'Myyyy he Lord is hheeeee iss hommeee att mymyy

ahhhh!'

Sharky stuttered and failed to carry on talking, he ran out in panic

Askthepizzaguy

04-10-2009, 23:51

The numberless hordes of the Hungry Khan have made many treaties with our neighbors, and generous nations beyond. We require "Wheat" and "Spices"... we will be most gracious towards whatever nation would be willing to trade the commodity to us. Our swords are sheathed, and they shall remain so for as long as our people eat.

-Pepperono

Thermal

04-10-2009, 23:57

Sharky returned to the room :bow:

Beefy187

04-11-2009, 00:52

So the time was up and they came to no conclusion about who the traitor was. All the representitives shook hands and promised to start investigating. If there was something the leaders gained through this meeting, it was that they got to know each other a little better..

Start Night One. Some has already sent me the orders.. Good work :2thumbsup:

I hope something big happens tonight :beam:

Beefy187

04-12-2009, 09:15

Those who received a mini update labeled "Events" please don't bother replying.

I came up with a different and far more convenient effort. If you already have, I'll work that in your next move.

Before I do the write up, I will send all of you some updates of what happened during the night, except those who failed to send me a night order.

Also, Warman will be replaced if he fails to be active this next day phase.

White_eyes:D

04-12-2009, 09:21

Beefy if it's ok.....I want to drop out.....(I suck at diplomacy)...and have no real allies....:shrug:

taka

04-12-2009, 09:38

so..... what happened? i guess something did happen already hearing how beefy put it

White_eyes:D

04-12-2009, 09:52

so..... what happened? i guess something did happen already hearing how beefy put it
Pretty much, the same hopeless situation on your game as well.....:sweatdrop: that...and I lost interest the monument the odds get stacked against me.....(otherwise, I would have sent in night orders.....but saw no reason too with nothing going on....:shrug:)

Beefy187

04-12-2009, 09:52

Beefy if it's ok.....I want to drop out.....(I suck at diplomacy)...and have no real allies....:shrug:

Would be a shame to lose you but if you want..

I will ask Greyblades to replace you.

Thanks for playing :2thumbsup:

Beefy187

04-12-2009, 10:14

Night 1 summery

4 months before the second meeting

"Faithful brothers!! War is approaching!!

We have been told about the rise of a dangerous ideology. Vegetarianism!
Its an act of treason!! It spits on the tradition we swore to protect, it spits on our faith in Beef steaks!
Brothers!! Sisters!! We must fight those who speak dellusions. Health! Diet!! Let me tell you this!
Eating only vegetables is NOT HEALTHY! It does not make you skinny and pretty! It makes you weak! It makes you cowards! And... It makes you unloyal to Beef!!"

*Crowd roars and cheers

"We must deny it! We must Reject it! We must FIGHT IT!!"

*KILL!!!

"Lend me your strength!! Men and women of the Holy Theocracy of Shadow Bull!! Shout aye if you are with me on the crusade against the villainess Vegetarians!!"

*AYE!!

With the crowd, strengthening their loyality in Beef, Shlin II got off the stage, satisfied

.................................................................................................... .....................................

Few minutes before the meeting...

"Can Aresea tempt you with this offer?"

"You see... I appreciate the fact that you love our country but.... See us Sacred tribes are permenently neutral. So no matter how much you love us, we can't accept alliance :smash:
I do appreciate your offer though"

"aww..."

.................................................................................................... ........................................

"Have the meeting started?" Beefy asked his men
"Yes sir."
"What happened in the last six months?"
"The navy of Aresea and the coastal guards of the The Consulate of Yaks, Liquor and Cheese have experienced a little cold war as they both were on high alert of the possible invasion."
"Gah.. Any brighter news?"
"Yes sir. Trade has commenced all around the island."
"Thank you!! Peace is exactly what I want :2thumbsup:"
"So do I sir."

.................................................................................................... ..........................................

When all the representitives arrived in the meeting halls, they set down and started to discuss about what happened in the last 6 months.

Commence day 2!! You are not allowed to quote any of the private message from the host without my permission

White_eyes:D

04-12-2009, 10:15

Beefy187

04-12-2009, 10:21

Maybe he will have better luck then I have been having....:bow:

Edit: The thing that makes me upset is.....there is no real reward for going on a offensive:no:
so nobody wants to attack or do anything.....:shame: I would get the ball rolling (You would have needed it Beefy...or the game would never end) but I hate being the aggressor who ALWAYS dies.....someone else be the "Evil invader/villain for once" :stare:

If someone else hosts, thats exactly what I'll do :beam:

But it seems Orgahs are too nice.. I want war and I want blood!! Theres only one player so far who wanted the same :laugh4:

(And it wasn't White_eyes)

Also, its really hard to come up with a system like that. I could use a random event of some sort, but...

I think I'll leave those discussions for after game. We'll see how it goes and fix it as we go.

Also White_eyes, Could you help me by co-hosting this game? I will be busy this week as I have to do everything by my self, and I would like to use some of your imput if the game goes no where.

Cheers

ULC

04-12-2009, 10:22

White_eyes:D

04-12-2009, 10:28

Well....if you want to balance it....you should put pressure on nations to get the veggies and expand....:bow: other wise, everyone well stay in a deadlock...(kinda like the balance of power in Europe, before the great war) If not the guy who attacks first is dead....and that's just horrible play...:no: (In real life...the Roman Empire manage to always justify it's wars somehow:yes:)

Beefy187

04-12-2009, 10:38

taka

04-12-2009, 11:30

is there pms?

Beefy187

04-12-2009, 11:49

is there pms?

Wait... Haven't you recieved any?

taka

04-12-2009, 12:06

:sad2: nope

Beefy187

04-12-2009, 12:07

:sad2: nope

My apologies, gimme few seconds

shlin28

04-12-2009, 12:42

The Crusade has began... Missionaries have been sent... the Holy Inquisition is set up...

Fear me, Veggies! For you shall soon feel the might of DIVINE VENGENCE!!!

MUHAHAHAHAHA!!!

---- Roy the Crazy - Ecclesiach Tertia of the Holy Theocracy, Inquistores Secundus of the Holy Inquisition

Reenk Roink

04-12-2009, 15:55

Roy the crazy, I have let you spread your ways in my land so that no more vegetarian ninjas will show up and kill and stuff.

Is it too late to send in an army composition? Sorry was really busy the past two days.

Lastly, of course I don't want to fight anyone right now, I most courteously abstain :bow:

Askthepizzaguy

04-12-2009, 15:56

The Hordes of the Hungry Khan would like to know precisely what your plans are before we accept this mission, and your missionaries. We already have a faith that we love; we follow the Pizza Lord. We are willing to hear of your faith, but without knowing more, and without peaceful trade relations, we cannot convert to your religion.

-Pepperono

shlin28

04-12-2009, 16:28

Askthepizzaguy

04-12-2009, 16:45

We but want a couple innocent priests of Beef to venture into your land to help your citizens - if your people truly follow the Pizza Lord, then the priests will do nought to your people, nor your religion

We will also bring gifts such as beads, paper, haircombs and other advanced technology unavailable in your lands. :yes:

--- Roy the Cackling Missionary, Ecclesiach Tertia of the Holy Theocracy, Inquistores Secundus of the Holy Inquisition

There is also the matter of security. Your missionaries could be spies, I am afraid. Others have tried to infiltrate other nations before, and it's only prudent to assume that anyone who enters our lands is a spy. Know this: Any spies in our lands will be seen as a declaration of war. We appreciate your gifts, should you choose to send them.

-Pepperono

shlin28

04-12-2009, 16:50

*adds the Horde to list of Crusade targets*

Excellent! We shall send the exploding poisonous beads and electricuting cursed haircombs immediately!

--- Roy the Righteous Crusader, Ecclesiach Tertia of the Holy Theocracy, Inquistores Secundus of the Holy Inquisition

Askthepizzaguy

04-12-2009, 16:53

Are you threatening me, Master Jedi?

shlin28

04-12-2009, 16:58

Askthepizzaguy

04-12-2009, 17:05

*A messenger arrives, along with another high ranking member of the Theocracy*

*They passed a note to Roy the Mad*

*The messenger forces Roy the Mad to leave the room*

*The newcomer bowed to the various Lords gathered in the room*

Apologies my lords... his Holiness foresaw Ecclesiach Roy's... foolishness, and has sent I, Hubert, Ecclesiach Secundus to replace him in this august meeting.

We meant no offence noble Lord of the Pizza Horde, some members of our organisation...are... a trifle bit zealous. We shall send un-explosive un-poisonous purely ordinary haircombs and beads immediately!

--- Hubert the Sane, Ecclesiach Secundus of the Holy Theocracy

If that is all right with you, we would prefer to be cautious and politely decline your gifts, for now. After such outbursts from this Roy person, we are not certain we fully understand your intentions towards us. No unpleasantness will follow, and our diplomatic relations remain normalized.

shlin28

04-12-2009, 17:40

If you so wish noble Ambassador :bow:

*addresses everyone else*

Fellow Lords/Ambassadors, my liege, his Holiness the Grand Theocrat shlin II had devised a fool-proof way of detecting the cultists!

As our religion demands the eating of Beef as a sacrament, any people who do not worship the Cattle with suffecient zeal, must be the cultists!

Because of this, I propose that the Holy Inquistors be sent to all regions, to find those who eat only vegetables! Only through vigilance can we find the cultists! Do not fear, for innocent citizens have nothing to fear from our Inquisitors - we shall only hunt down those who are truly depraved in their diet.

Does this proposal have the support of the Council?

--- Hubert the Awsome, Ecclesiach Secundus of the Holy Theocracy

Reenk Roink

04-12-2009, 18:01

I want to start a war kinda...

White_eyes:D

04-12-2009, 18:22

I want to start a war kinda...

Well...I am talking it over with Beefy.....If I Co-host I want to put some benefits...on ALL nations that go to war....and give disadvantages to those that sit around and turtle....but if you guys move on your own...that will not be necessary:bow: (but if things continue to move slowly...then I am sure I can convince Beefy:wink:)

Reenk Roink

04-12-2009, 19:23

:stupido:

Ok, so we will be taking offers to join a side to fight another side starting now. You must show what you can do for the Reenkmaistro so that he is able to ride by your side and crush your enemies.

We feel that this is the best way to raise funds for the kung fu lessons for Reenkmeister.

:bow:

Thermal

04-12-2009, 19:31

Consul Lacy storms into the council chambers, a look of utmost fury creasing her face, which surprisingly makes her look even more attractive.

"How DARE Aresea send spies across my borders! Had I not set my coast guard on high alert, this "ambassador", this wretched spy, would have slipped by and into my realm, for what nefarious purpose I cannot conceive! The Consulate has always been a friend and ally to peaceful nations willing to trade, but this is the lowest of lows! I demand that Aresea explain themselves, and ADEQUATELY SO! If they cannot, then I, as Consul, will be forced to take action!"

Sharky gained confidence, he was never a pushover even if a nervous wreck

'We haven't set foot on your llllannnnnddd! Forororrr the fear it will be filllleeddd with brussel sprouuuttts!'

Sharky tried to continue but he clasped for breath and fainted instead.

shlin28

04-12-2009, 19:53

Ladies and gentlemen, it turns out Roy was not replaced after all... he's back, and MORE crazy than ever! DEATH TO ALL HERETICS!

:stupido:

Ok, so we will be taking offers to join a side to fight another side starting now. You must show what you can do for the Reenkmaistro so that he is able to ride by your side and crush your enemies.

We feel that this is the best way to raise funds for the kung fu lessons for Reenkmeister.

:bow:

Suffer not the heretic to live, Reenkmeister, that is our motto. :yes: Would your kingdom not be safer if it is protected by divine means?

The cultists lives around us, King Reenkmeister, we must crush them! Together, we can make this island a safer place for Beefdom and the Twin Kingdoms!

- Roy the Righteous Lunatic, Ecclesiach Tertia Secundus of the Holy Theocracy

Thermal

04-12-2009, 20:02

You know sending in orders can be fun, be creative, those stuck what to say, well just say where you want your armies and say something wacky like, exterminate all frogs in my land to prevent yellow fever contamination :beam:

shlin28

04-12-2009, 20:07

Roy the Zealot has an announcement to make!

Fellow lords/ambassadors!

The Theocracy shall send out hundreds of Inquisitors and Missionaries to convert the good folk of the island. Anyone who do not allow them to enter their country, shall be... suitably punished :bow:

May the Cattle be with you all my friends.

Askthepizzaguy

04-12-2009, 20:27

You guys want to start a war because you're bored? We settled on the wrong island, I suppose. By the way, we've obtained all the ingredients required to make our delicious delicacy, the Pizza. Thank you trading partners! :2thumbsup: Now, we are more than prepared to stand by your side in glorious battle. Woe be upon he who fights the Hungry Khan With A Full Belly.

-Pepperono, master of the slice.

shlin28

04-12-2009, 20:28

Roy the Crazy is that close to calling a Crusade on the Horde :inquisitive: Be more helpful to the Theocracy... or else.

Askthepizzaguy

04-12-2009, 21:46

Greetings Mighty Khan :bow:

Today I would like to request permission from you on a topic you may not be comfortable with.

I would like to request the permission that our missionaries are allowed to enter your lands in search of vegetable eaters. Our missionaries are only to search for high sources of vegetables within the population, and there will be no military spying. You have my words. If you are innocent of being a meat eater, then you would have no problems with me just having a look around. As an act of trust, I will send you food in the form of beef - we know that you come from far-away lands and are hungry.

If you are found out to be innocent, then I can help you ease your tensions with my allies the Holy Theocracy. However, if my polite request if refused then I will have no choice but to launch a joint crusade towards your lands. This is something I would not like to do.

I await your approval

Yours Sincerely

Grandmaster Taka of the Order of the Sacred Kobe Beef

We are most displeased by your threatening tone.

I am taking this before the council.

We make this a... formal tone, as we see it befitting for the mighty Khan, and hostile intentions are not in our minds. We just need to find the veggy eaters and if you can aid us that would be the best :bow:

i mean, who would give out free food just to prove someone else's innocence? im sure that it can only be a win-win situation for you. Unlike our crazy allies, we are an Order of civilization and culture and do not take war lightly. we try to settle matters through discussion, not by the blade.

please reconsider our request with a positive mind

Grandmaster Taka

NO ONE STRONG-ARMS THE MIGHTY KHAN!!!

YOU WILL PAY FOR SUCH INSOLENCE!!!

WE WILL NOT BE BULLIED BY RELIGIOUS WACKOS!!!

PREPARE FOR WAR!!!!

:skull:

taka

04-12-2009, 21:52

It seems like you do not like peace. most shameful but war shall be done.

Brothers from the Holy Theocracy and Beefdom, I hereby request that you join on my crusade towards the Lands of the Khan!

The vegetable eating Heretics shall be cleansed!

Vote: Pizza

Askthepizzaguy

04-12-2009, 21:59

Vote: Shlin28

They would be bullying the REST of you. I will not tolerate these fools who think they can twist the arms of other nations until they submit to their will, and force us to allow SPIES into our lands. I now activate the defensive pact treaties we signed with our neighboring nations, and request aid and assistance from ALL nations the Hungry Khan has forged peaceful and civilized relationships with. JOIN ME NOW, AND CRUSH THOSE WHO WOULD SEEK TO BULLY YOU, instead of seeking peaceful trade relationships! When this battle is over, we will grant the lands of the "Holy" Theocracy and the cowards from their "Sacred" Order to be dispensed to my friends, allies, and trade partners. WE HAVE NO WISH FOR CONQUEST OR LAND. We seek glorious brotherhood, and WE will not force the religion of the Pizza Lord on ANYONE, nor have we offered to even spread it through your lands. These hateful, malevolent, intolerant, warlike criminals must be brought to justice. Join me, brothers of the lands of Beefydom! Destroy the aggressive warmongers in our midst! Then we will root out the Veggie-Eaters in our own ways, without this insolent and undiplomatic behavior.

Who stands with the Hungry Khan? Who stands with the zealots who seek to convert or destroy you?

taka

04-12-2009, 22:06

such words from the new-comer of the lands

you say undiplomatic? ha! look at the private discussion we talked through. if you say that is not peaceful and diplomatic, i dont know what is.

you hypocritic vegetable eating heretic, we shall beat you off our lands back to your own!

Askthepizzaguy

04-12-2009, 22:11

such words from the new-comer of the lands

you say undiplomatic? ha! look at the private discussion we talked through. if you say that is not peaceful and undiplomatic, i dont know what is.

you hypocritic vegetable eating heretic, we shall beat you off our lands back to your own!

Your words were dishonest and cowardly. You threatened us with force, both in public and in private, if we did not submit to your demands. You are a fool for insulting us with threats. I will not tolerate that, not even if you were doing so to our friends. You will never gain any real friends that way. I speak with honesty, I do not hide behind polite words designed to mask my very impolite threats. You could call me a dog politely, but you still call me your dog to be ordered around by YOU. Time to teach you a lesson in diplomatic relations. You don't :daisy: with the Hungry Khan or his friends. When the feeble armies of the "Holy" ones are brought to justice, we will deal with YOU. The only thing which will reverse this situation is a dramatic and public apology.

-Pepperono, Generalissimo of the Hungry Khan's Horde

taka

04-12-2009, 22:15

i see no need for apologies

war shall be done. you declare war first; you shall have war. make your way to our lands if you dare

Askthepizzaguy

04-12-2009, 22:18

i see no need for apologies

war shall be done. you declare war first; you shall have war. make your way to our lands if you dare

More insults! You declared war on us when YOU THREATENED US with force. That's a declaration of WAR, not "peaceful" relations. We have ZERO interest in your pathetic lands or conquering your miserable citizens. WE will not be attacking YOU.

But if "crusaders" enter our lands, they will never leave them alive. We know how to deal with crusaders, we've been doing that for CENTURIES.

taka

04-12-2009, 22:23

Your cowardice and text formatting is of the most annoying.

we shall hear no more.

I hereby officially declare the Pizza Khan a Vegetable eating heretic!

Join me if you would like to rid OUR lands of Vegetable eaters!

Thermal

04-12-2009, 22:25

Sharky noticed something

'Uh in order to fight each other you will have to destory beefy kingdom, has thattt dawned onn yyouuu?'

taka

04-12-2009, 22:30

huh?

Askthepizzaguy

04-12-2009, 22:31

We have no interest in invading other lands. Our forces will remain at home to guard against crusader threats. Let the "Holy" ones trespass through neutral territory if they think we are so evil. Such is the arrogance of declaring someone else to be evil; they will step on innocent people to get to us. That makes them evil in my book. Our forces will remain, to guard against crusaders, and those who threaten those who we have signed defensive alliances with. We do not betray our friends, and we do not back down to bullies, but we also don't invade peaceful lands to make war on a people we don't understand. You who talk of peace, but threaten others with the sword, are the true warmongers here, filled with hatred and prejudice. We will not be bullied, and we will not trade with you.

Thermal

04-12-2009, 22:32

Map of the kingdoms! For the ease of reference and battles, please state which route you want to take when your moving your army or etc.

https://i387.photobucket.com/albums/oo312/mexico1910/noblesons/wwithpolitics.jpg

Sorry it's beefy & reenk, you opposite ends of the kingdom, and there is little sea to invade on, how will you attack each other?

Askthepizzaguy

04-12-2009, 22:40

That is the whole point. If they have already signed offensive pacts to destroy us with the nations intervening, then we cannot stop them ANYWAY, but we won't be bullied either, and it proves they never had any peaceful intentions at all. We are willing to die in glorious battle taking down as many of them as we can. After we are gone, I urge the other nations to destroy this threat to all of you; We have never backed down from a fight. We have learned the folly of conquest from our Jihading days, after our empire conquered all others on three continents, the people revolted, and we were kicked off of our own homelands. We will never make that mistake again. We have pledged non-aggression and peace with everyone here. I urge the "religious" crusaders to think very hard about the path they have chosen. It will only lead to violence, and the deaths of hundreds of thousands of your own people; and if you prevail, you will be annihilated anyway by those who will not tolerate your oppression. Freedom always prevails over oppression. Now that we see the error of our ways, hundreds of years ago, we will never follow that path again. We represent a free and peaceful people. We have suffered for years in pain and agony, and have starved because of our arrogance. Never again. Never again. I share the wisdom of generations of my own people, who have been on both sides of this level of unmitigated arrogance and aggression, religious oppression and intolerance, and diplomacy using force. It does not work, and it will destroy everyone in its path, both the oppressors and the oppressed.

I wash my hands of anyone who is willing to tolerate this malevolent behavior.

-Pepperono

Yoyoma1910

04-12-2009, 22:43

A letter arrives at Beefy's castle:

Gentlemen, the King of Beefdom is busy for the time being attending to something archaic and evil called "Replacing the Serpentine Belt on a Ford Focus." He will attempt to join you more thoroughly when this is achieved, or frustration gets the better of him.

Askthepizzaguy

04-12-2009, 23:06

Funnily enough, right now I am actually eating beef teriyaki. I'm such a loyal beefeater, I even act it out in real life!!

Picture taken with mah webcam. Feast your eyes on this! (Most of my pasty white skin has been deleted)

https://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb225/askthepizzaguy/teriyaki.png

Reenk Roink

04-13-2009, 00:26

So what can you two enemies offer the Reenkmaistro to come and interfere in your mutual violence?

For there is certainly nothing greater in this world than to chase down your enemies and cut them down and then bathe in their blood and bathe in the tears of their womenfolk! :charge:

Thermal

04-13-2009, 00:45

Sharky falls into passionate romance

'OH REENK! I have such a fond love of rabbits, and we've wanted our relations to be...closer for some time now :kiss:

Will you ally with us?

We will trade you willow bark if you accept ;)

Askthepizzaguy

04-13-2009, 00:45

I'm afraid you'll have to side with them. We do not forge alliances with mercenaries; for their loyalty is for sale.

-Pepperono

Reenk Roink

04-13-2009, 00:55

Askthepizzaguy

04-13-2009, 01:11

Of course we will gladly be friends with the ones who decided on our flag. :bow: We will be true friends too, not merely military pacts like we make with others. :2thumbsup:

We are very insulted by this Pizza khaan's rejection of our most generous offer. Thus we declare war on him. His public impiety is troubling as is...

Sir taka, you may use our lands to cross to attack the Pizza khaan. We will help. Do not betray us or we will destroy you both.

Vote: Askthepizzaguy

You are insulted that we would not beg you for assistance? What would you have us pay you, anyway? Our resources are tapped out. Your policy of allowing one of your neighbors to exterminate another, because they can't afford to pay you to be our hired guns, is very, very admirable. Public impiety my left gluteal cheek. We honor the Pizza Lord and we won't be forcibly converted. You follow whatever religion you wish. We will not lower ourselves like curs to every barbaric nation that demands tribute, nor sell our loyalties to the highest bidder. Enjoy your time at the top, because when you tumble down to the bottom, it will hurt a lot worse.

It seems clear that the only nations with honor will stand against the religious zealots, and not very many have stepped forward. We are resigned to our fate, but rest assured, many of you will die when you cross our borders, cowards. We will destroy you to the last man, and not one of our soldiers will ever surrender.

Should we be annihilated by mercenaries and zealots, it will be fitting justice for the crimes of our past. And besides, I've got hosting duties and big games to play. At least you got your war, reasonless though it is.

:bow:

Reenk Roink

04-13-2009, 01:23

You are insulted that we would not beg you for assistance? What would you have us pay you, anyway? Our resources are tapped out. Your policy of allowing one of your neighbors to exterminate another, because they can't afford to pay you to be our hired guns, is very, very admirable. Public impiety my left gluteal cheek. We honor the Pizza Lord and we won't be forcibly converted. You follow whatever religion you wish. We will not lower ourselves like curs to every barbaric nation that demands tribute, nor sell our loyalties to the highest bidder. Enjoy your time at the top, because when you tumble down to the bottom, it will hurt a lot worse.

It seems clear that the only nations with honor will stand against the religious zealots, and not very many have stepped forward. We are resigned to our fate, but rest assured, many of you will die when you cross our borders, cowards. We will destroy you to the last man, and not one of our soldiers will ever surrender.

Should we be annihilated by mercenaries and zealots, it will be fitting justice for the crimes of our past. And besides, I've got hosting duties and big games to play. At least you got your war, reasonless though it is.

:bow:

You say religious zealots like it is a bad thing. Much better to follow the sacred ways of the Beef which are inerrant rather than follow limited human caprice based on value judgments indefensible by any standard of reasoning. It will be a great honor to put you to the sword for the sake of the Beef.

At best the ways of the Beef are divine, at worst they are human. Your heterodox ways are human at best. A well known human maxim is might is right. Enjoy your last moments on this fair land. :rtwno:

Askthepizzaguy

04-13-2009, 01:27

You say religious zealots like it is a bad thing. Much better to follow the sacred ways of the Beef which are inerrant rather than follow limited human caprice based on value judgments indefensible by any standard of reasoning. It will be a great honor to put you to the sword for the sake of the Beef.

At best the ways of the Beef are divine, at worst they are human. Your heterodox ways are human at best. A well known human maxim is might is right. Enjoy your last moments on this fair land. :rtwno:

Your ways are inhuman at best, in our opinion. No civility whatsoever, just greed and love of money, selling violence and murder so that you can appease your stomachs. Did it ever occur to you that others might be willing to share resources, and that you don't have to murder them?

You claim to be Godly, but clearly that sentiment does not extend to your actions in this world.

We still refuse to murder you in cold blood, but when you cross our borders, that will be the last thing you do for your God.

Beefy187

04-13-2009, 02:05

As no leaders were able to carry on the legacy of White_eyes II, they have now declared to be neutral, aiding no one in their war.

You may pass the lands of the exiles without having to fight them. However if war is declared on them, expect some guerilla war fare.

Also in case of a crusade, I guess I have no choice but to let you pass through my lands. However, as we are neutral, the hostile army may also have access to my lands as well.

Thermal

04-13-2009, 02:08

Greyblades

04-13-2009, 02:12

I was having a little trouble keeping up with 3 games at once when he asked me to replace.

Beefy187

04-13-2009, 02:16

No Greyblades then?

Nope. The host could take over but thats not exactly fair for you guys so... :beam:

Askthepizzaguy

04-13-2009, 02:35

Hah! Stick a fork in us, we're just about done.

Looks like we've ticked off three nations, and I haven't heard any support, so... adios?

Greyblades

04-13-2009, 02:36

Nope. The host could take over but thats not exactly fair for you guys so... :beam:
Well... I could take it over, but dont expect me to be doing very much.

Yoyoma1910

04-13-2009, 02:39

Yoyoma II arrived at the meeting after unsuccessfully completing his ancient task of "Replacing the Serpentine Belt" He was a bit tired from the ordeal, but the arguing that had sprung up had peaked his curiosity.

Gentlemen, the business of Beefdom is business... and eating Beef. Oh yeah, and we take our morning cocktails pretty seriously, as well. Our eommissaries reached many of the nearby factions already with a list of both tradeable and desired goods. I shall pass now, to any factions we were unable to reach, the current list.

As far as this new combat... we would prefer to remain neutral in this rising quarrel. We ask that whatever nations do choose to raise swords, please allow our trade lines passage.

Vote:Abstain

Trade requested:

Besides the obvious goods, such as Beef and Leather, Beefdom has a variety of goods that may be of use to you.

We grow a wide variety of Grapes, which we use to make:
Grapes
Fine Wines
Port
Wine Reduction Sauce
Cream of Tartar

Potatoes, which we use to make:
Potatoes
French Fries
Vodka

Grains, such as rye and corn, which we use to make:
Whiskey
Grain Alcohol

We also collect a certain amount of Metal Ores from our mountains.

We seek Onions, to fry in golden rings to celebrate the wealth of our nation. And Mesquite wood, to build great fires to cook our food with.

taka

04-13-2009, 03:06

Askthepizzaguy

04-13-2009, 03:45

we are..... most disappointed in the King's decision...

The Order was created to protect Beefdom and its culture, and you would abandon us to fight for ourselves? We will remember this day...

your greed for trade and monies will get the better of you

Interesting, how quickly you turn your back on your fellow people, simply because they don't leap to war when you say so.

I am glad we did not trust you to be our friends.

Beefy187

04-13-2009, 05:53

Well... I could take it over, but dont expect me to be doing very much.

That will be great. Pms sent :beam:

shlin28

04-13-2009, 10:50

Askthepizzaguy

04-13-2009, 11:04

Worshippers of Beef!

The heretics has been found - their veggie-ness is confirmed beyond all doubt! Let our righteous faith smite them into smithereens! All loyal worshippers of Beef, his Holiness beseeches you to ride to war!

Vote: ATPG

Declare Crusade: ATPG

Curse: ATPG

May I ask, how you could find veggie-eaters in our lands, without ever having sent spies? We patrol our borders, and no one enters our lands without being identified as a potential spy. Since we know your information is nothing more than a bluff, it is nothing but lies, we have to seriously question your sanity.

If into the lands of the Hungry Khan you trespass, only pain, suffering, and death will you find there for yourselves.

shlin28

04-13-2009, 11:19

Askthepizzaguy

04-13-2009, 11:31

If you are truly against Veggies, why would you deny the Inquistors access into your lands? If you are innocent, the Inquisitor will DO NOTHING against you. Even if they are spies, why would I attack you if you are innocent? My only goal is to find the veggies :bow:

1. You insulted us with your belligerent demands in public and in private
2. Your inquisitors could be spies
3. Your primary goal is to find the veggie eaters, that is not us. But what then? You have ambitions to rule this place, I am sure... from the size of your armies and your aggressive posturing. We have seen the signs before. As such, we don't want a potential aggressor spying on us all these many months.

If you truly are just seeking the Veggie eaters, there is a much more diplomatic way of going about this. But you and your allies have chosen the path of threats and violence. You pick on us now, but what of our neighbors afterward? Will you destroy them too?

It never stops with just one victim of oppression and intolerance. The Hungry Khan will be but the first domino to fall.

taka

04-13-2009, 11:48

YOU were the first to say

WE WILL NOT BE BULLIED BY RELIGIOUS WACKOS!!!

PREPARE FOR WAR!!!!

am i not correct?

we declared war AFTER you announced that.

we suspect you are the veggie eaters on the basis that you refuse the Inquisitions of both The Holy Theocracy AND the Order of the Sacred Kobe Beef. We have clearly stated that our primary goal is to eliminate these vegetarians and we are not to collection military information. If you are meat eaters, then you would have agreed or given either of us an alternative to our proposals, but instead you replied straight back saying i was treatening. Only a vegetarian would keep his identity ambiguous.

and you keep talking about expansion. YOU cannot win the game by not expanding neither. Eventually we will all have to compete, but we will not let the vegetarians conquer our lands and so we will root out this heresy.

We gave you a diplomatic proposal, you gave us an answer of war.

taka

04-13-2009, 11:52

(btw pizza, i hope you dont take any of this personally, i'm just trying to roleplay :clown:)

ULC

04-13-2009, 11:53

Consul Lacy's features twitch and smooth as she listens to the banter being tossed back and forth. Finally, after hearing enough, she stood up and cleared her throat to gain attention. When it was obvious she was still being ignored, she tried again, louder again, and then again louder still, until she broke into full yell...

"ENOUGH! The Consulate has heard enough from all sides! Aresea deliberately tries to turn the conversation away from the fact that they sent a spy, and the Horde has every right as a sovereign nation to refuse an ambassador! As do I! If you are so quick to invalidate his people freedom, then what of others? Our opinions and our free will can be brushed aside in your mindless quest of blind faith? The people of the Consulate will never stand for such behavior."

"Know that I let your missionaries in, but their preaching falls under my Jurisdiction now! They will preach where, when, and how I tell them too."

"I will stand by the Khaan's side - your willing to invalidate his rights and the rights of his people, because of your blindness and foolishness! I have heard enough as it is, and will ask of my brother to begin sending whole armies over to help defend the Khaan and his people."

"As to Aresea, we warn you now, we will not tolerate any further forms of subversion. Such acts are cowardly and should be beneath any ruler, ANY here!"

taka

04-13-2009, 12:05

being the consulate of the Yak, which is a type of bovine, we/I have no intention of converting your peoples as your peoples already consume Yaks, Liquor and Cheese.

It would be a shame to fight against other Beef eating kingdoms. we did not invalidate his rights, if he had refused politely it would have been taken into consideration and a work-around could have been made. but his violent mindset had already lusted for war.

War is imminent.

Askthepizzaguy

04-13-2009, 12:06

Greetings Mighty Khan :bow:

Today I would like to request permission from you on a topic you may not be comfortable with.

I would like to request the permission that our missionaries are allowed to enter your lands in search of vegetable eaters. Our missionaries are only to search for high sources of vegetables within the population, and there will be no military spying. You have my words. If you are innocent of being a meat eater, then you would have no problems with me just having a look around. As an act of trust, I will send you food in the form of beef - we know that you come from far-away lands and are hungry.

If you are found out to be innocent, then I can help you ease your tensions with my allies the Holy Theocracy. However, if my polite request if refused then I will have no choice but to launch a joint crusade towards your lands. This is something I would not like to do.

I await your approval

Yours Sincerely

Grandmaster Taka of the Order of the Sacred Kobe Beef

We are most displeased by your threatening tone.

I am taking this before the council.

We make this a... formal tone, as we see it befitting for the mighty Khan, and hostile intentions are not in our minds. We just need to find the veggy eaters and if you can aid us that would be the best :bow:

i mean, who would give out free food just to prove someone else's innocence? im sure that it can only be a win-win situation for you. Unlike our crazy allies, we are an Order of civilization and culture and do not take war lightly. we try to settle matters through discussion, not by the blade.

please reconsider our request with a positive mind

Grandmaster Taka

You threatened us with a crusade. Your allies threatened us with force as well. Don't play innocent with me. You took a huge dump on our diplomatic relations by threatening to use force against us, then tried to cover it with perfume and flowers. Your "good cop, bad cop" routine with shlin28 does not impress me. And we are a proud people, us Noble followers of the Hungry Khan. You cannot, and will not, ever get our cooperation with even the slightest whiff of a threat.

Would you eat a plate of food covered in feces? That is what you are asking of us. To swallow a plate full of diplomatic ShadowBull feces, covered in flowers, or defend ourselves against crusader zealots. And you "wonder" why we are so quick to call you out on this garbage. We demand an immediate apology.

(also roleplaying, delightedly) :bow:

taka

04-13-2009, 12:20

Askthepizzaguy

04-13-2009, 12:27

an apology will not settle this matter of war, an apology will not allow us to invesitage your lands, so there is no point in an apology. However, if an apology means we can investigate your lands on our conditions, then this war Might take a different turn... depending on your willingness...

we had every good intention to work with your peoples, which is now thrown out the window.

now if you will excuse me, i need to go out and buy a KFB variety meal for lunch

Forgive me. I now understand your delusions. I now know how diplomacy works in the lands of the "Sacred" and "Holy" people.

Barges up to the ambassador:

Oh we wish for peace between us honorable ambassador, but unless you allow our agents into your lands, we will crush you in a HOLY WAR!!!

There, was that not polite? I asked for peace and called you honorable. By your standards, that was downright courteous.

taka

04-13-2009, 12:33

thank you :bow:

Askthepizzaguy

04-13-2009, 12:46

Pepperono storms out of the meeting in disgust, and to prevent violence from taking place there.
Very shortly, a dictated letter is sent back to the council, written by a scribe.

I, Pepperono, affirm that I am acting on the will of the Pizza Lord.

The horde of the Hungry Khan is full of peace-loving people who prefer trade and defense, and free exchange of knowledge and religion. We have nothing to hide, and we would have welcomed your ambassadors, merchants, and missionaries with OPEN ARMS, had you offered, politely, an exchange of these things. Instead you demand access to our lands, and do not offer the same courtesy, while having your ally threaten us with a crusade, and also warning us of the same if we do not cooperate. This is hostile, threatening, and unfair behavior. You are not treating us with respect, as equals, you are treating us as slaves and dogs. You disrespect our noble leader, you spit on our religion, you pay mercenaries to destroy us, you call on peasants to murder us in the name of your God in an invasion, when we have stated clearly here that we will never set foot in your lands.

We have pointed out your threatening tone was unwelcome. Then you continued to assault us with words and threats, while your admittedly "CRAZY ALLIES" threatened us as well. Now you have brought a third nation of religious zealots, this time more interested in coin than honor, against us. How exactly do you expect to gain our trust? Why do you think that by twisting our arms and repeatedly insulting us and treading upon our rights as human beings, that you will gain our favor? We would rather die defending ourselves than to lower ourselves as submissive curs to your swords. We recognize the value of peace, but we will not be ordered around. We will not be threatened. We will not be insulted publicly, nor will we sit idle while you call for our destruction. You are a strange and insane people, if you believe such behavior will ever gain you cooperation, respect, peace, or moral superiority, let alone win you the favor of your God.

Until you apologize for these repeated insults and call off your crusade, we will be preparing our lands for war. It is that simple. And if you choose to back down from your threats, that will be your choice. We will not trespass into your lands, for although you have insulted us in the worst possible ways diplomatically, and our relations are now Atrocious, and your reputation is now Very Untrustworthy in our eyes, your people have yet to commit a crime against us, and we will not murder them because YOU have no tact. As for my own behavior here; you threatened us with war. That is literally telling me that you will mass-murder my entire family. We consider our response to be... restrained.

You have until the end of this meeting to make things right. Since you have insulted us and threatened us with war, we have accepted the right to DEFEND ourselves, and even promised not to get your people involved in your insane zealot-driven conflict. That is called Defense, not aggression. What you did is aggressive. The responsibility is on YOU to make things right. I await your timely answer, with the last ounce of my patience.

-Pepperono

Yoyoma1910

04-13-2009, 13:19

Yoyoma II sips upon his afternoon martini, quietly observing the constant back and forth between the various factions.

"Oh my, well this has been a rather exciting day, hasn't it. I don't suppose anyone wants to come back to my tent for the evening Barbecue. We have riblets!"

White_eyes:D

04-13-2009, 13:50

Yoyoma1910

04-13-2009, 14:02

Yoyoma.....your planing something.....:brood:

Yes, riblets. Care for a bite?

White_eyes:D

04-13-2009, 14:19

Yes, riblets. Care for a bite?

Is it code for...."let's attack shlin?".....seems like it....:inquisitive:

shlin28

04-13-2009, 14:32

Roy the Mad feels a tad insecure now :sweatdrop:

Beefy187

04-13-2009, 14:37

Beefy is having a nap... He won't be awake for another 12 hours.. He will end the meeting soon as his fully awake and ready

Yoyoma1910

04-13-2009, 15:59

Is it code for...."let's attack shlin?".....seems like it....:inquisitive:

No, it's code for riblets.

And why would I attack a bunch of religious zealots, their women are too prudish for my taste. No dear chappy, I'm in this for the profit, quite frankly. Let these other nations fight all they want, Beefdom is still the strongest and richest of the kingdoms. We're simply building a large wall to keep everyone else out, and investing in a large merchant fleet.

War, dear boy, is a thing of the past. Trade. Now there is something to look to the future for. War won't put some golds up in my mouth.

White_eyes:D

04-13-2009, 16:03

No, it's code for riblets.

And why would I attack a bunch of religious zealots, their women are too prudish for my taste. No dear chappy, I'm in this for the profit, quite frankly. Let these other nations fight all they want, Beefdom is still the strongest and richest of the kingdoms. We're simply building a large wall to keep everyone else out, and investing in a large merchant fleet.

War, dear boy, is a thing of the past. Trade. Now there is something to look to the future for. War won't put some golds up in my mouth.

Yeah.....sure....waiting till everyone else is wiped out.....that won't work this time:grin2:

ULC

04-13-2009, 16:11

Yeah.....sure....waiting till everyone else is wiped out.....that won't work this time:grin2:

Are you co-hosting or playing WE :laugh4:

Cause I like seeing you this devious :2thumbsup:

ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88

04-13-2009, 16:15

Yoyoma1910

04-13-2009, 16:15

Yeah.....sure....waiting till everyone else is wiped out.....that won't work this time:grin2:

No Riblets for you then eh? I suppose we could spare a Chateau Briand, but frankly I hate to waste it, especially on someone who wasn't even will to finish his appetizers. I suppose you got to the salad course, and then got stuck rolling around naked in it. I always figured you were the type who enjoyed his salad a bit too much.

Tell me, what kind of dressing do you prefer? You seem like a ranch one to me. Never quite even got to the vinaigrette level. Perhaps you'd even care for some bac-Os, since you likely wouldn't eat real bacon bits anyway.

Thermal

04-13-2009, 16:19

Sharky blocks out his danger red ridiculing opponent

and speaks

'Weee ddododnn'n'tt spyyy, buttt it is worrying itt botherrs you so muchh, cclcllearrly have something too hidiide, and you people are lying and brinngg scannndal too ourrr natioon!'

Lady lacy gives sharky evils and he stops and begins to cry.

White_eyes:D

04-13-2009, 17:02

Are you co-hosting or playing WE :laugh4:

Cause I like seeing you this devious :2thumbsup:

I just hate it, when Yoyoma sits back and watches the fireworks....:shrug: get up and get your hand's dirty for once.....:whip:(even though you have well over a hundred Serpents Servants to do that:shame:)

Greyblades

04-13-2009, 17:13

Um ok, so apparrantly I'm taking over white_eyes:D's country, so...what the heck am i supposed to do in this game?

White_eyes:D

04-13-2009, 17:27

Didn't you get the PM??? if you did, it's kinda straight forward.....:juggle2:

Greyblades

04-13-2009, 17:30

I know what my goals are. its the rest I'm having trouble getting my head around. Heck, I cant even find the rules just a load of backstory.

White_eyes:D

04-13-2009, 17:35

I really wish Beefy would have organized this a little better......:sweatdrop: I know everyone loves to role play....but with a No risk=Tons of rewards by turtling sort of thing....its kinda hard to get the ball rolling......:no: but you Vote:Random Nation=War with them.....and I think you can PM Beefy....he should be able to clear up what you can do......:smash:

Thermal

04-13-2009, 17:37

It's organized just fine IMO

Just a few implicated features may encourage war, like beefy taking units off of slackers. :juggle2:

Greyblades

04-13-2009, 17:40

Well it would be nice if there was a list of rules instead of pages of backstories and prologue.

White_eyes:D

04-13-2009, 17:42

It's organized just fine IMO

Just a few implicated features may encourage war, like beefy taking units off of slackers. :juggle2:

That's what I suggested.....:bow: We well see if he feels it's fair......:juggle2: (I recall how things went in the last game...I had to be as cunning as a FOX and as low as a SERPENT.....before things got going:clown:)

Reenk Roink

04-13-2009, 19:54

The game is set up perfectly. It shouldn't be easy to start wars and it should be a major decision with huge consequences. Best everyone abstain for a few rounds while secretly making alliances culmintating in a huge war. :2thumbsup:

Askthepizzaguy

04-13-2009, 20:55

No, it's code for riblets.

And why would I attack a bunch of religious zealots, their women are too prudish for my taste. No dear chappy, I'm in this for the profit, quite frankly. Let these other nations fight all they want, Beefdom is still the strongest and richest of the kingdoms. We're simply building a large wall to keep everyone else out, and investing in a large merchant fleet.

War, dear boy, is a thing of the past. Trade. Now there is something to look to the future for. War won't put some golds up in my mouth.

The Hordes of the Hungry Khan accept your generous offer of trade. It seems we have more friends than we realized... or at least, civilized and honourable trade partners.

-Pepperono

Beefy187

04-14-2009, 00:57

Theres not many "rules" but I'll list a few.

1. No reveal of your role pm in private or public
2. Your action cannot be unrealistic
3. No activity for two day phase will result in WoG.
4. Out come of your night action will be judged by the host and other players action.

The rest works like Tainted Evil or Battle Royale... Or perhaps similer to interactive history games in the Throne room. More details you have in your night orders, the better it is.

If you have any questions, just pm me, and I'll answer as long as I have a free space in my pm box.. I have to delete 30 pms every day:sweatdrop:

Askthepizzaguy

04-14-2009, 01:08

Perhaps it is time to ask TosaInu for a larger inbox? :bow:

Thermal

04-14-2009, 01:16

Perhaps it is time to ask TosaInu for a larger inbox? :bow:

Please do, I need it too

Beefy187

04-14-2009, 01:17

Perhaps it is time to ask TosaInu for a larger inbox? :bow:

I'll slowly work my way towards Senior Member.. Then I shall dominate the gameroom with my forces Muhahaha!!

Round finished.. Commencing write up

Greyblades

04-14-2009, 01:20

I would like to say that I wont be able to partake in any wars or fghts that occur outside my lands this turn because I am still desgning my new units.

Thermal

04-14-2009, 01:20

I'll slowly work my way towards Senior Member.. Then I shall dominate the gameroom with my forces Muhahaha!!

Round finished.. Commencing write up

I've asked, look in watchtower and support me please, if he sees others want it he may consider it! :yes:

Beefy187

04-14-2009, 01:49

Beefy woke up he heard shouting and heated discussions...

He jumped up and rushed to the meeting hall...

"Friends!! What on earth is going on?" he asked.

"The Horde of Hungry Khaan denied our missionaries! He must be the heretic!!" Answered the man from the theocracy..
"Is that so Mr Peperrono?"
"None sense!! I am merely expressing my concern that the missionaries may be spies! Its a security threat!!"

Discussion heated up as the men from the sacred order joined the argument. While the rest just sat and listened to what they say..

"Friends! Lend me yours ears! If war is what you seek, then so be it! I give you permission to go through my land and use it however you may wish. I must warn you though.. If you come into our boundaries... K20 is the easiest route to our holy city... We will order our men to defend our home at all cost..

Gods of war will smile upon those with Justice."

With this, Beefy declared the end of the meeting.

.................................................................................................... .........................................

At K20, the bottom of the mountain road, Men from the theocracy and the Hungry Horde, threw a quick glance at each other for the last time... Then one headed north, and one headed south.. Knowing, the next time they will see each other is in the battle field..

Please avoid K20 or Beefy will shoot you...

I will now send you some news of what happened while you were away on the meeting. Please then, send in your night orders..

We may have a war White_eyes:eyebrows:

Beefy187

04-14-2009, 02:24

The following countries does not receive their events

Kingdom of Greater Reenk and Lesser Reenk
Kingdom of Swiss Mongols
Republic of Buranda

The following countries will receive theirs later
Kingdom of Beef (Beefdom)
Sacred order of the Kobe Beef

:bow:

Reenk Roink

04-14-2009, 02:26

The following countries does not receive their events

Kingdom of Greater Reenk and Lesser Reenk
Kingdom of Swiss Mongols
Republic of Buranda

Wait why? :huh:

Beefy187

04-14-2009, 02:32

Wait why? :huh:

Nothing significant happened in your land. Consider it as a good news :bow:

It doesn't mean your not loved.

However if you sent in some orders and you want to know the progress on it, please remind me on the pms. I'm not a morning person :shame:

Greyblades

04-14-2009, 02:32

I hope you get your mail on time Quintus.

Reenk Roink

04-14-2009, 02:33

Nothing significant happened in your land. Consider it as a good news :bow:

It doesn't mean your not loved.

However if you sent in some orders and you want to know the progress on it, please remind me on the pms. I'm not a morning person :shame:

:2thumbsup:

Peace and love for everyone (except Pizzaguy may he be boiled alive :rtwno:)!

Beefy187

04-14-2009, 02:35

I'm expecting fire works... Lots and lots of red fire works :beam:

Askthepizzaguy

04-14-2009, 03:02

Know this: We will defend our lands to the death. Someone will die.

Reenk Roink

04-14-2009, 03:03

Know this: We will defend our lands to the death. Someone will die.

You.

ULC

04-14-2009, 04:07

You.

And possibly your arrogance too :laugh4:

Reenk Roink

04-14-2009, 06:27

And possibly your arrogance too :laugh4:

After Atpg you're next. :brood:

White_eyes:D

04-14-2009, 06:36

I am going for a Yoyoma victory on this one:wink:
Beefy, you wanna bet:grin2::smash::2cents:

Yoyoma1910

04-14-2009, 06:39

I am going for a Yoyoma victory on this one:wink:
Beefy, you wanna bet:grin2::smash::2cents:

You over estimate my desire for victory.

White_eyes:D

04-14-2009, 06:41

You over estimate my desire for victory.

:shrug: everyone is going to kill each other....I just foresee you being one of the only ones left.....that's all:grin2:

Beefy187

04-14-2009, 07:10

I am going for a Yoyoma victory on this one:wink:
Beefy, you wanna bet:grin2::smash::2cents:

White_eyes.. Aren't you forgetting that I'm the host :beam:

I won't bet so I can treat all players equally.

White_eyes:D

04-14-2009, 08:15

White_eyes.. Aren't you forgetting that I'm the host :beam:

I won't bet so I can treat all players equally.

I mean predictions:whip:.....I go for Yoyoma since it's likely he well come up with some huge plan.....:book: and he is really the ONLY confirmed innocent:shrug: I wouldn't even trust shlin and his "Roy the Mad":rolleyes: roleplay

Beefy187

04-14-2009, 08:48

I mean predictions:whip:.....I go for Yoyoma since it's likely he well come up with some huge plan.....:book: and he is really the ONLY confirmed innocent:shrug: I wouldn't even trust shlin and his "Roy the Mad":rolleyes: roleplay

Actually, I added that little sequence at the begining to show that Yoyoma is not confirmed innocent.
The roles were decided completely randomly.

I see White_eyes, your doing your job well.. Causing war in all places.. I like it :beam:

Reenk Roink

04-14-2009, 13:25

Hmm, maybe we should delay our gang war on Atpg to all sack White eyes' kingdom. In fact, I am starting an inquisition against annyoing white eyed people in my kingdom! :whip:

White_eyes:D

04-14-2009, 15:19

Hmm, maybe we should delay our gang war on Atpg to all sack White eyes' kingdom. In fact, I am starting an inquisition against annyoing white eyed people in my kingdom! :whip:
My job is to cause wars between you people(though Greyblades toke my place)....:bow: Pacifism well NOT be tolerated in "Noble Sons 2":whip:

Greyblades

04-14-2009, 15:25

Well that job sure isnt mine.

White_eyes:D

04-14-2009, 15:45

Nah......Beefy just asked me to help give you guys a push...MHAHAHAHAHA:devil:

*Greyblades is totally innocent and so is Yoyoma....:saint:

Greyblades

04-14-2009, 15:47

Innocent? I thought it was a political/military fight to take over the map.

White_eyes:D

04-14-2009, 16:18

Shhhhh....:quiet:
Everyone need an excuse to go to war.....:smash:
and last I heard...Against Veggie eating was the hottest crusade:knight:

Greyblades

04-14-2009, 16:22

Veggie eating? What? Why the heck would that be grounds for war?

White_eyes:D

04-14-2009, 18:11

That's like asking..."Why were Jews SO bad in Pre-WW2 Germany?":shame:
It still was used as an excuse, to declare war on everyone:shrug:

Edit:I guess I could say I don't see much difference in either reasons:shrug:

Askthepizzaguy

04-14-2009, 18:29

Hmm, maybe we should delay our gang war on Atpg to all sack White eyes' kingdom. In fact, I am starting an inquisition against annyoing white eyed people in my kingdom! :whip:

I am getting impatient with the kingdom of White Eyes as well.

We have no love for mercenaries and bullies, but we would join that battle.

Greyblades

04-14-2009, 18:32

Um please dont kill my kingdom off because of my predecessors annoying tendancies.

shlin28

04-14-2009, 18:33

Do not worry former Beefy-ian! Just convert to the faith of the Righteous and everything will be alright! :yes:

Greyblades

04-14-2009, 18:35

Um... former what?

shlin28

04-14-2009, 18:35

Were you not a former noble in the Kingdom of Beefy?

:inquisitive:

Greyblades

04-14-2009, 18:37

Oh wait, roleplay right got it. seriously I'm not sure what I am apart from the guy that took over white eye's kingdom.

Reenk Roink

04-14-2009, 18:37

He is a usurper.

Reenkmaistro's hit list (White eyes is a wild card):

Askthepizzaguy - heretic
YLC - insulter
Greyblades - either an usurper or a very inept soveirgn

Greyblades

04-14-2009, 18:39

I am new at this game and have been dumped into another mans role. Ofcorse I'm going to be inept at first.

ULC

04-14-2009, 18:40

He is a usurper.

Reenkmaistro's hit list (White eyes is a wild card):

Askthepizzaguy - heretic
YLC - insulter
Greyblades - either an usurper or a very inept soveirgn

Yes, because what your doing isn't an insult? And I am not allowed to state the truth? If such is the future, it is not a future I will be a part of. Nor will any of my people

Reenk Roink

04-14-2009, 18:41

I am new at this game and have been dumped into another mans role. Ofcorse I'm going to be inept at first.

I spoke to soon, forgive me my fellow king, marry some of my daughters or stuff. :bow:

Reenk Roink

04-14-2009, 18:43

Yes, because what your doing isn't an insult? And I am not allowed to state the truth? If such is the future, it is not a future I will be a part of. Nor will any of my people

It is falsehood! :stare:

What is truth is that with the divine bovine on our side, and a 3 against 1, Atpg will easily be overwhelmed and will be the only one dying. It is not arrogance to state facts. It is arrogance to call other arrogant, not to mention and insult! :stare:

Perhaps you need better religious and military advisers...

Askthepizzaguy

04-14-2009, 18:44

Reenk Roink

04-14-2009, 18:45

Sigh... warman is out, due to account suspension, and Greyblades is waffling on his responsibilities.

That's nice.

Should I just pledge to be vassals of the Reenk Roink kingdom now? Seeing as everyone has deserted or betrayed me?

You should have formed an alliance with me. I liked shlin's location better, nicer weather. :laugh4:

Askthepizzaguy

04-14-2009, 18:46

You should have formed an alliance with me. I liked shlin's location better, nicer weather. :laugh4:

Whichever. At this point, The Hungry Khan is thinking of getting on his ships and just leaving.

Reenk Roink

04-14-2009, 18:47

Whichever. At this point, The Hungry Khan is thinking of getting on his ships and just leaving.

Leave some of your daughters, I hear the women of the Pizza kingdom are quite ravishing. ~:flirt:

Askthepizzaguy

04-14-2009, 18:48

Leave some of your daughters, I hear the women of the Pizza kingdom are quite ravishing. ~:flirt:

No, if we leave, they go with us. And no pizza for anyone.

Greyblades

04-14-2009, 18:49

Askthepizzaguy

04-14-2009, 18:51

and Greyblades is waffling on his responsibilities.

Well maybe you expect too much. I'm not white eyes Im new at the rules I'm reeling in confusion and quintus has been commiting terrorist actions in my contry so I am not having a good day.

That is your explanation, and I suppose I have to accept it. But since we are about to be destroyed tonight, it would have been nice not to sign a defensive alliance agreement and then back out.

:shrug:

We aren't mad, just feeling abandoned is all.

Reenk Roink

04-14-2009, 18:53

No, if we leave, they go with us. And no pizza for anyone.

Sigh, I suppose I'll have to make due with the prudish inbreds that taka sent me until those mermainds that King Ares the Thermal Mercury sent arrive. :sad: And ugh, Pizza, we only eat the finest steaks here. :thumbsdown:

Askthepizzaguy

04-14-2009, 18:55

Sigh, I suppose I'll have to make due with the prudish inbreds that taka sent me until those mermainds that King Ares the Thermal Mercury sent arrive. :sad: And ugh, Pizza, we only eat the finest steaks here. :thumbsdown:

I don't suppose there is any way at this point for the Hungry Khan to surrender and accept client status to one of the belligerent powers? We will allow whatever missionaries and such in our lands. Do what you like. I kind of wanted to roleplay and I can't do that if I am dead.

Reenk Roink

04-14-2009, 18:57

I don't suppose there is any way at this point for the Hungry Khan to surrender and accept client status to one of the belligerent powers? We will allow whatever missionaries and such in our lands. Do what you like. I kind of wanted to roleplay and I can't do that if I am dead.

We accept this magnanimous offer. :bow:

We strongly urge our marital allies to accept as well... :whip:

Askthepizzaguy

04-14-2009, 19:03

We accept this magnanimous offer. :bow:

We strongly urge our marital allies to accept as well... :whip:

Hmmm...

Care to negotiate in private?

Reenk Roink

04-14-2009, 19:06

I prefer transparency :deal:

:stupido:

My demands:

You allow the missionaries into your land. If the missionaries turn out to have bad intentions you will surely have my sword at your side.

You place yourself at my beck and call to attack one nation of my choice at anytime I please, no conditions except that I won't ask you to attack yourself. Once you have done this for me, you are free from service.

That is all, I have no other demands or want of your land. :bow:

ULC

04-14-2009, 19:17

Reenk Roink

04-14-2009, 19:23

The Consulate will always stand by the Khaans side - honor is something we hold high in regard.

And Reenk, numbers mean nothing if you do not know how to use them, and blind religious dogma has never saved anyone, only faith has. And you should brush up on your religion, for the Divine Bovine favors those who are both bold and fearless, for it is the Divine Bovines right to crush the arrogant, cruel, and blind, for the Divine Bovine favors the poor and wretched, for it is them who should inherent the beef, and all those with beef it should be there duty to give freely of it.

So far, only a handful of us still seem to adhere to what is written, and instead are quick to use the book of our lord the Divine Bovine to justify whatever they need at that moment. And the Divine Bovine declared he would smite those who would use his word as falsehood, and those who would twist it, and those who would set his ideals to evil purposes.

Nonsense, the statement "numbers confer no advantage alone" is a statement about something not real. My top notch military advisers who have degrees from West Roink are much more reliable than some book allegedly written by Sheep Tzu (my scriptural analysts have determined that Sheep Tzu's work is simply a haphazard amalgamation of various defeated generals which took centuries to form). It certainly explains its inconsistency.

And the Divine Bovine favors those who uphold his lofty ideals and punish the heretics. Please do not preach to me when I am a very close disciple of the saint Beeficus VI who taught me all the ways of the Beef.

You bring in the poor when it is clearly a non sequiter. Furthermore, much of the booty I take in my wars goes towards to betterment of my peoples.

Askthepizzaguy

04-14-2009, 19:24

My demands:

I have an idea! :idea:

Why don't I offer you MY DEMANDS!!!

Kiss my puckered brownie!!!

Signed, sincerely-

Pepperono

Reenk Roink

04-14-2009, 19:26

I have an idea! :idea:

Why don't I offer you MY DEMANDS!!!

Kiss my puckered brownie!!!

Signed, sincerely-

Pepperono

It is clear that you are not interested in peace or the betterment of your peoples. We offered you very reasonable demands and all you did was criticize your allies and boast about what could have happened. We withdraw our offer now, you cannot be trusted like reasonable kings.

As the Holy Book of Beef says:

:stupido:

The greatest pleasure is to vanquish your enemies and chase them before you, to rob them of their wealth and see those dear to them bathed in tears, to ride their horses and clasp to your bosom their wives and daughters.

ULC

04-14-2009, 19:34

Nonsense, the statement "numbers confer no advantage alone" is a statement about something not real. My top notch military advisers who have degrees from West Roink are much more reliable than some book allegedly written by Sheep Tzu (my scriptural analysts have determined that Sheep Tzu's work is simply a haphazard amalgamation of various defeated generals which took centuries to form). It certainly explains its inconsistency.

And the Divine Bovine favors those who uphold his lofty ideals and punish the heretics. Please do not preach to me when I am a very close disciple of the saint Beeficus VI who taught me all the ways of the Beef.

You bring in the poor when it is clearly a non sequiter. Furthermore, much of the booty I take in my wars goes towards to betterment of my peoples.

But it is a true statement deer King Reenk. And has been shown, you seem to lack understanding of scripture at all, so I'll take your comments about how Freehaven Academy trains our troops with a grain of salt.

The Divine Bovine does not ask us to punish Heretics! That his for him to judge and judge alone! It is our task only to bring our brethen into the light - we are to save, not to judge. If you judge, then you presume yourself to be the Divine Bovine, and thus a heretic! Can you not see the paradox you set for yourself?

I bring in the poor because I do not halfheartedly qoute passage from the Divine Book. It was part of the qoute, so it remains so - to take only part of the Divine Bovines word and throw away the other half is not to be a true follower.

Also - BIBLE FIGHT! :laugh4:

Reenk Roink

04-14-2009, 19:37

But it is a true statement deer King Reenk. And has been shown, you seem to lack understanding of scripture at all, so I'll take your comments about how Freehaven Academy trains our troops with a grain of salt.

The Divine Bovine does not ask us to punish Heretics! That his for him to judge and judge alone! It is our task only to bring our brethen into the light - we are to save, not to judge. If you judge, then you presume yourself to be the Divine Bovine, and thus a heretic! Can you not see the paradox you set for yourself?

I bring in the poor because I do not halfheartedly qoute passage from the Divine Book. It was part of the qoute, so it remains so - to take only part of the Divine Bovines word and throw away the other half is not to be a true follower.

Also - BIBLE FIGHT! :laugh4:

You are bordering on heresy. Not as blatant as the soon to be massacred Pizza khaan but close enough. Prepare for war, as everything occurs by the will of the Beef, we will take our twin victories over the heretics and apostates as signs of divine approval.

taka

04-14-2009, 19:40

@ pizza

i thought Reenks offers were very reasonable, and for you to answer his offers like that just show you how much you actually dont want peace in your lands.

i personally would not give you such generous offers, and i would clean your untrustworthy type. but we will see what the alliance says

Askthepizzaguy

04-14-2009, 19:44

Hello folks, it's your old friend and reformed conquering warlord, the Hungry Khan.

We are willing to take on your pathetic armies, Reenk, Taka, Shlin28. I won't bow to you like a sucker. You can all ride your little horses, or let your horses ride you, (as you prefer) and bounce on top of your blunted spearpoints (ouch, that's not a very comfy chair) allllllll they way up north towards my lands. We will "meat" you on the field of battle, and then roast your carcasses and feed them to my pet snake. You will all be made into snake poop. A fitting end for zealots so single minded, that their brains would seem to fit inside a long tube of some sort... and so easily will they be excreted out, too! And once you have been turned into long, curling bits of defecation, I will personally ride my horses over what remains of your corpses and have my mightiest war horse urinate on your remains.

Have a pleasant evening! ~:flirt:

shlin28

04-14-2009, 20:51

We were only gonna send out a force of illiterate unarmoured peasants under the command of a hermit before...

But now?

:devilish:

Thermal

04-14-2009, 21:02

Sharky is traumatized by the violence in the room, and he calls for a replacement, Tuna Face, a handsome fish diplomat who is more confident than his predecessor.

Beefy187

04-15-2009, 01:04

Its very pleasing to see the enthusiasm but if I may.. I would like to pause this game for a bit.
If I heard the news correctly, Warman is banned...
I would want some input from you guys, whether if I should continue this game without him or wait for him.

Cheers.

Greyblades

04-15-2009, 01:11

Apparrantly he attempted to hack into TosaInu's account. There is afew threads in the watch tower about it.

Edit got it:
Hello,

Ok, more than one word on this.

The account |Sith|R|AntiWarmanCake88 posted "Up yours :clown:" on Megas Methuselah profile page. He got a warning for that, the account already had points, so the demotion script was triggered. Normal disciplinary proceedings.

At 14:55 I receive a PM by MaddenKhan2:

Tosa,

Please tell me where I posted it and when. I don't remember posting it. I hope you not forging things on this forum.

At 14:59 I sent a reply:

Hello MaddenKhan2,

I do not know what you mean?

At 15:02 I receive a reply:

Tosa,

This is |Sith|R|AntiWarmanCake88. Do you not think I'm going to disappear this easy? I want to have a explation of why I been banned and I want the reason now.

Four minutes later the patience is exhausted and a post is added in another topic. That post is the first post in this topic.

Guess what Warman? My patience with you is over as well.

Accidentally, your recent feud with Tribesman was discussed between the mods today. You've been itching a lot more than I initially saw, resulting in a rather unfair awarding of points. I'm sorry about that :embarassed:.

I posted in this topic https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showthread.php?t=115429 :

I strongly recommend both of you not to dodge that on profile pages, mentioning the other in posts or chat here at org or by using alternative accounts.

You posted yesterday: Yes, but I don't go causing debates Tribesmen :yes:.

Last summer I received a warning mail about someone trying to hack my account here at org. A little investigation learned it was you. When confronted in private with that, you admitted. Yet we know what you do when you can delete topics (you do it) and I hate to think at the amount of extra work to restore it (time I did not have last summer).

You were left off the hook and up till today you were, despite being an itching creep to many, including me. Insult, edit, run away, whine and insult again.

Today it's been enough and I don't want to see you or any of your alts here at org for the rest of 2009. You'll be added to the gib list.

Well he's peeved off anyhow

Edit: spoilered it to save screen space.

Beefy187

04-15-2009, 01:22

Apparrantly he attempted to hack into TosaInu's account. There is afew threads in the watch tower about it.

Edit got it:

Well he's peeved off anyhow

Edit: spoilered it to save screen space.

Sorry to see him go.. He seemed like a fair fellow..

I guess until next year is too long to wait..
Thank you Greyblades for the info.

The game will start again, and Kingdom of Swiss Mongol will turn neutral next turn. For now, Pizza can take his command as thats what Warman was originally doing.

Thermal

04-15-2009, 01:24

Sorry to see him go.. He seemed like a fair fellow..

I guess until next year is too long to wait..
Thank you Greyblades for the info.

The game will start again, and Kingdom of Swiss Mongol will turn neutral next turn. For now, Pizza can take his command as thats what Warman was originally doing.

Very annoying, and Kage is trying to close his twc IH for 'plagiarism' I'm appealing against it, people are being very cruel. :whip:

Greyblades

04-15-2009, 01:24

I beleive that AVSM is the next replacement M'lord.

Beefy187

04-15-2009, 01:28

I contacted AVSM when you turned down to replace White_eyes.
He said he is quite busy with the amount of games his in at the moment.

I could play Warmen even :laugh4:

Greyblades

04-15-2009, 01:32

M'lord but dont you allready have the centre country to control? I would sugest spliting his lands between his neigbours and his wealth and resorurces between the rest of us.

Thermal

04-15-2009, 01:34

I contacted AVSM when you turned down to replace White_eyes.
He said he is quite busy with the amount of games his in at the moment.

I could play Warmen even :laugh4:

get someone else, this is a small game there should be plenty willing. :balloon2:

Beefy187

04-15-2009, 01:37

Don't know who to get...

And anyone seen Captain Blackadder posting recently?

Thermal

04-15-2009, 01:40

Don't know who to get...

And anyone seen Captain Blackadder posting recently?

reasonably recent m'lord

taka

04-15-2009, 02:01

i agree with it either being neutral or split between the neighbouring lands. if you have it neutral then we could at least find a replacement to kill ally

Askthepizzaguy

04-15-2009, 02:22

I believe Warman pledged to aid me in battle, and I believe our defensive alliance qualifies me to control his lands. This would OTHERWISE affect the balance of power, and that is unfair on me. Things should not change simply because of an OOC matter I had no control over.

To be fair, next round, I will release his lands as totally neutral, but his forces were already committed tonight. Anything else would countermand his existing orders.

Beefy187

04-15-2009, 03:47

Askthepizzaguy

04-15-2009, 03:59

Do you need anything further from me, or have the cowards backed down?

Beefy187

04-15-2009, 04:37

Do you need anything further from me, or have the cowards backed down?

No good sir. Your good to go.

As for the "cowards" you speak of.. you'll have to wait and see

Askthepizzaguy

04-15-2009, 04:45

RROOOOOOAAAARRR I eat plumbers like them for breakfast.

Ooops, wrong thread. :laugh2:

Captain Blackadder

04-15-2009, 05:08

Askthepizzaguy

04-15-2009, 05:09

A diplomat arrives from the Republic

Forgive out leader illness has kept the Chancellor to his bed chamber for today he is relaying his intructions by a remote lap device that allows him to speak with me. We find this warmongering strange

Get well soon, noble leader of Buranda. May many years of peace lift your people to even higher levels of contentment and prosperity.

-Pepperono

Thermal

04-15-2009, 06:03

Tunaface suspects Pepperano is sucking up to nations for future help*

Askthepizzaguy

04-15-2009, 06:06

Tunaface suspects Pepperano is sucking up to nations for future help*

That would be Pepperono, not Pepperano. And yeah, we like to make friends. Call it something negative if you want, but we prefer to make friends.

Thermal

04-15-2009, 06:14

That would be Pepperono, not Pepperano. And yeah, we like to make friends. Call it something negative if you want, but we prefer to make friends.

Tunaface is amazed how pepperono is reading tunaface's mind and having a conversation with him via in-brain thoughts*

Askthepizzaguy

04-15-2009, 06:27

If you would just stop posting your in-brain thoughts in-thread for all in-game players to in-joy, then I couldn't in-gest those thoughts in-yway. They are driving me in-sane.

Thermal

04-15-2009, 06:41

Why are you talking to yourself?

Askthepizzaguy

04-15-2009, 06:42

Why are you talking to yourself?

Why are you speaking your thoughts to me but acting like you're not?

Thermal

04-15-2009, 06:43

???

ULC

04-15-2009, 06:45

Tunaface is amazed how pepperono is reading tunaface's mind and having a conversation with him via in-brain thoughts*

The wise and powerful Pizza Khaan is capable of many things :clown:

Askthepizzaguy

04-15-2009, 06:45

Not only that, YLC can read your mind too.

Yoyoma1910

04-15-2009, 07:01

Spoon.

Askthepizzaguy

04-15-2009, 07:03

http://www.howstrange.com/gallery/darth_bent_spoon.jpg

See? I can bend spoons with my mind. Also, I can summon Darth Vader.

Yoyoma1910

04-15-2009, 07:08

http://www.howstrange.com/gallery/darth_bent_spoon.jpg

See? I can bend spoons with my mind. Also, I can summon Darth Vader.

Yes, but how many Amazonian women are you forced to make love to every night? If only they wouldn't speak...

Askthepizzaguy

04-15-2009, 07:09

Yes, but how many Amazonian women are you forced to make love to every night? If only they wouldn't speak...

None, sadly. Fortunately I have a girlfriend. But 20 foot tall women? I'd probably enjoy that. :yes:

Beefy187

04-15-2009, 07:10

Be good while I take a long break:smash:

Studying the rest of the day+ Cooking dinner....maybe a little tv.

I should be doing the write up for the Noble Sons but I'm really not in the mood after re-reading stuff in the watchtower..

Sorry for the inconvenience. The write ups should be done within 24 hours.

Beefy187

04-16-2009, 02:49

Sorry for the wait.. Commencing work now

Beefy187

04-16-2009, 04:43

In this chapter of age of bloodshed, starting from the first meeting in the year 1 BB (Blood bathe), we remember the Winter of 1 BB as the start of the great war. As largest force ever seen in the history of the Island started to gather up in the territory of the Angry Hordes.. Leading the armies were Pizza Khaan. Leader of the Angry Hordes.

....................................................

Angry Hordes. Winter-1BB
https://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb225/askthepizzaguy/HungryKhanateFlagSmall.jpg

In front of his force, Pizza Khaan, the Hungry Khanate stood. Nodding many times as he was confident of his victory.

To his noisy soldiers, he shouted one word to gather attention.

"Noble men of the Horde of Hungry Khaan!!"

After a brief cheer, the soldiers waited for Khaans next word in absolute silence.

"We will remember today. As the day when the Hungry Horde... Against all odds, gained their victory they deserve against the alliance of Beef!! We will remember today! As the day when honorable men came together to over come the tyranny of Beefdom!! We Will Remember Today!! As the day when the dish we fought thousand of battles to aquire is finally in our hands!! We will remember today!!!! The day when we completed "Pizza!!"

for the Khanate, this speech was enough to boost his mens morales. As he knew nothing works better then glorious words of confidence and pizza. As the locals baked Pizza to wish their army the victory, the Khanate stared at the mountain range, as he waited.... With some pizza in his left hand... For the enemy to arrive.

..................................................

The Principality of Decapodia. Winter- 1BB
https://i387.photobucket.com/albums/oo312/mexico1910/noblesons/Quintusshrimpsmall.jpg

The people of Decapodia wasn't exactly happy. Depressed was far more suitable as the word to describe their current mood. As their king Secundus.. While he wasn't surpremely good compared to his forefathers... Has suddenly passed away.

The people has gathered near the naval port as they waited for the new King Quintus V. Quintus..

"All stand for the mighty King!!"

the sound of the trumpet and the drums, announced the arrival of the new King. Quintus stood on the stage, as his people stood up... Whispering the words of praise without energy.

"Brothers... and daughters of Decapodia. Please make your self confortable." Said Quintus, as he sat down to the kings chair, calmly and elegantly.

"Normally this will be the occasion for tears. Eulogy and sacred songs to lead the deceased king to his after life. But now is not the time."

To the confused people, Quintus continued his speech, powerfully.

"I must start with the expression of anger! That bandit!! The new leader of the Exiles! The EXILES! Greyblades thought it will be a nice present for Decapodias mother, if he sent the hands of the murderer to her... This disgusts me! Its an act of barbary!! Its not the action that anyone with human soul should do.

Now I ask this men of Decapodia!! Do I torrelate this? Do you? Does Decapodia torrelate this?? Nay!! We should not! We will not! We can not!! So, marchants, priests, my people! Any one with their mouth! Make note of this! And let us tell the world.. Decapodia will not torrelate this!!

Sails men!! My mighty men in the sea!! Go to your captains now! And set sail to the lands of the exiles! Blockade their port until they bow down and beg for our forgiveness. I wan't some apology for their actions. And if they don't... They will suffer... They will regret the coming days for the actions they have done!!

Wipe your tears! Mighty people of Decapodia! Time for weeping can come later. Now is not the time. Sharpen your sword. Smelt your shields. Prepare for war!!"

King Quintus left the stage, leaving his silent... but now... eagar men.

"Send word to my naval captains. While we have to let Greyblades pay for their action, Pizza khaan requires our aids. Make sure most of our navy guards their coasts. And notify Greyblades.. If he does not publically apologize for his actions. And agrees to send us 100 gold pieces per year, for 5 years... We will continue our blockade."

............................................

Coast of the Hungry Hordes. Winter-0BB

https://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb225/askthepizzaguy/HungryKhanateFlagSmall.jpg

"I told you!! We are at war! We cannot allow your entry in our boarders!!"

"What? Why?"

"I don't care if your ship is full of naked amazonians! We can't allow any Beef stinking ships in!!"

"Tell you what my friend.. If the fellas of the Sacred Orders or the Theocracy wants their war.. They can have it!! But let me tell you this.. Those crazed Beef loving looneys got nothing to do with us! If our king Yoyoma declares war then I'll fight till I loose both arms and legs until he tells me to stop. But peace loving Yoyoma didn't! In fact, he wants peace with the Khanate and wants to grill those crazy looneys for causing wars! But... Heres my last word.. If you don't... let us... Marchants enter your port.. And if I don't see your ships coming into ours.. We take that as a act of hostility and declare war on you.. Then you get to see our Amazonians.. Armed to teeth. Ready for some fun chopping up some Hungry Hordes.. Hope you like that.. Now you gonna let us enter or not? You got 8 seconds until I return to my port and tell Yoyoma to..."

"Right!! Right!! I'll ask the Khaan! That fair??"

"Hurry up will ya? we havn't had our beefs for several days.."

............................................

Hungry Hordes territory. Winter- OBB

https://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb225/askthepizzaguy/HungryKhanateFlagSmall.jpg

"Khaan!!"

"I see them corporal. Order our men that parties over.. get them into formation and get ready for the battle."

............................................

Tribes of the sacred mountains. Winter- OBB

https://i387.photobucket.com/albums/oo312/mexico1910/noblesons/chickenflaghalf.jpg

Staring at the passing armies.. Beefy gave a breif sigh..

"So... its started.."

Beefy picked up his cup of tea.. and sipped.

Nights not over yet!! Few people are now going to recieve their events

Askthepizzaguy

04-16-2009, 04:55

We would prefer to trade via land routes with the kingdom of Beefdom. Right now, we will not accept any ships near our shores due to the possibility of a sea invasion. Forgiveness please, Beefdom; we will send the items after the battle and accept them also, then.

Beefy187

04-16-2009, 05:15

TheFlax is taking over Warman

:bow:

TheFlax

04-16-2009, 05:19

A man wearing a large peanut costume enters the council chambers, barely fitting through the door, flanked by two Swiss armored pikemen.

"Erm, greeting gentlebeings. I am..." He looks at his escorts while stuttering, who each glare severely at him while making threatening gestures. "I am Mr. Peanut! Representative of his Eminence King Warman8." The representative flashes an awkward and unconvincing smile and receives nods of approval from his escorts.

Rifling through a series of documents, Mr. Peanut takes a few doodles. "Erm.. According to these orders I am to pledge support to the Pizza Lord, so, I... erm... I guess I'll... What?... Sorry?... Its not time for that yet?... Erm ok. Sorry for wasting your time gentlebeings."

The representative sits down, flustered.

OOC: Hello all, I'll be taking over for Warman8 from now on. What Beefy said. I'll see each of you on the field of battle before long I wager. :2thumbsup:

Beefy187

04-16-2009, 05:32

And major kudos to Yoyoma for inviting TheFlax. Thank you :2thumbsup:

Waiting for another pm. Then the battle will happen, then I'll send you your events then we can start the meeting

Yoyoma1910

04-16-2009, 06:20

Sorry old chappy, but the merchants of Beefdom wait for no war. If we are not making profit, then we are taking losses. And Beefdom takes no losses. I have ships loaded with goods set to trade, sent through potentially hostile waters. Do you know the liability I undertook? Not to mention that we've already upset our neighbors enough, and do you have any idea how much I've had to tithe to the church so that they wouldn't declare me an enemy of the faith?

Instead you want us to send some caravan over land? Do I look like Marco Polo? It takes longer, costs more, and is more prone to being waylaid.

Anyway sir, good luck in your little upcoming conflict. Our monies won't be bothering you any further. Perhaps someone will come into control of your ports who has a more favorable disposition to making profits.

ULC

04-16-2009, 06:25

Consul Lacy storms in and glares at Yoyoma II

"What is this? Why is your sister in the Consulate, with MY brother? If you need to speak of relations and diplomacy, we have diplomats if you are to busy, and I am the rightful ruler of the Consulate. My brother has given up his seat to pursue his life as Techmaster and Grand Overseer. What need to you have of him that you would disturb him of his most important work?!"

Yoyoma1910

04-16-2009, 06:40

Yoyoma sips upon his evening hot toddy.

"Oh, well I thought we could proverbially bury the old hatchet, and become one big happy family. And frankly, I don't think Jolie is into... less... *ahem*... traditional coupling, so that sort of left you out of the picture my dear.

She is my most beautiful sister, I do hope he's a bit more lively these days. Last time I saw him he seemed a bit... castrated.

By the way, I'm still technically single, and am always on the look out for a good queen of Beefdom. If you have any sisters yourself... oh course with a bit less of that bourgeois aesthetic, let them know I might be willing to give them a reasonable consideration. Or at least an inspection.

ULC

04-16-2009, 07:27

Consul Lacy's left eye twitches as her jaw hangs open, her startled demeanor apparent. She tries to speak but instead she stutters slightly, her words tumbling out of her mouth in a garbled heap. She clams up, her face turn a deep shade of pink, clearly flustered. Unable to think of what to say, Lacy seat's herself and begin to furiously scribble upon a scroll.

Thermal

04-16-2009, 07:37

Beefy187

04-16-2009, 07:48

hush before I fill that open mouth with a rack of salmon chunks!

Let her be.. Shes obviously too shy to express her feelings to King Yoyoma :laugh4:

Yoyoma1910

04-16-2009, 07:54

Let her be.. Shes obviously too shy to express her feelings to King Yoyoma :laugh4:

Well I certainly can't blame her.