Then there were None [Concluded]

Having spent several minutes deciding not to risk what passed for soup at Malwell's table, Lady Weston-Hogues fell into a brown study.

In her younger life, Winnie (an unfortunate nickname acquired during her time at Oxford) had been quite the beauty - a right old corker, as her dear departed husband had used to say - and now her mind took a brief promenade back to those cherished days of youth. Imagining her slender, pretty form encased in lavish frock, surrounded by many a dashing suitor, the aging widow sighed deeply. Would that today's festivities held such promise...

Rousing herself from these foolish reveries, Lady Weston-Hogues cast a discerning eye about the table, judging the company with a barely-disguised sneer. Fools, bounders, jackanapes. Barely a hint of class between them...

Sighing deeply, she quaffed what remained of her wine, then tapped impatiently on the glass, awaiting further refreshment.

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Originally Posted by johnhughthom

What-ho folks, Buzz Killington here. This should be a ripping good yarn. Now lets say we all sit down and look at graveyard etchings? Surely such jolly japery should distract any would be killer from their nefarious tomfoolery?

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"Buzz Killington" what a vulger name good sir I would almost swear you were from the colonies with such a name as that. I say that it shoudl prove easy to find this killer for when we do my great military know how will serve me well. Servant get me some scotch.

With this a servant brings forth some scotch Thomas sips it then spits it out

What are you trying to do kill me? I said I want some scotch not this negus rubbish

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Originally Posted by Captain Blackadder

"Buzz Killington" what a vulger name

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Indeed. It sounds like the kind of name you'd expect an American to have.

Lady Weston-Hogues shudders slightly at the thought of sharing a dinner table with someone with the ill-fortune to be born on the unfashionable side of the Atlantic Ocean.

My my, such negativity in the room. I know, why don't I tell us all a nice story about a bridge? That will raise everybodies spirits, yes?

I hear you my good lady. Say where did you study a woman such as yourself would surely go to a fine University. I suspect that our American friend here would only ever be able to get into Hull. With that he laughs at his own joke

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Originally Posted by Captain Blackadder

I suspect that our American friend here would only ever be able to get into Hull.

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But surely Hull has a fine university.

Now Cambridge, on the other hand, that's a complete dump.

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Originally Posted by Captain Blackadder

Well I say old bean I say we have a bit of jolly old fun and introduce ourselves for I for one do not know everyone here tonight. Thomas Harold Mortimer Green 2nd Batt.,The Derbyshire Regiment The Sherwood Foresters. I have just come back from the war after given those natives the good solid taste of British Steel. None of you are those namby pamby people who say the natives are our equals are you?

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Another millitary man? Good show chap, I'm Captain Mackerel. I have just returned from a long stint in the Indiarrr Office. I was serving in Upper Burma, when some Fuzzy-Wuzzy bastards attacked my brigade. I managed to "civilise" them off, with nothing more than a few flesh wounds. When I got the message for the reunion,. I couldn't wait to hurry back here and meet all my chums!

EDIT: I'm only going for the colonial persona because I promised myself I'd get to wear a pith helmet, so don't think of it as if I'm stealing your ideas.

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Originally Posted by johnhughthom

What-ho folks, Buzz Killington here.

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LOL superb :laugh4:

'Ello, ol Chaps, I'm Frederick A. Jackson, I've spent most of the past few years as the captain of a couple of cruise ships. I must say, that dinghy boat is a big step downward from the nice ships I'm used to being on.

Moby the Merchant, a good old chap I am, I can tell you a tell or two and play the violin!

Unlike you gentlemen, I have no stomach for war, but much prefer keeping tabs on the good old currency and how to get more of it, honestly of course...

I am a traveling fish enthusiast, in order to make myself a fortune on tuna I aim to see my good old friend, who tells me he as seafood surplus, leftover prawns can only give one a foul mood!

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Originally Posted by Thermal Mercury

I am traveling to a fish market, in order to make myself a fortune on tuna.

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Oh what a fascinating story, come sit beside me and I will tell you a tale of a man who tried to open a tuna stall but wasn't able to get his business off the ground. Do you know why he failed? No? Because he was a Scot! A ha. A ha ha ha.

I'll be away the majority of the day on Sunday and I won't have internet access.

Hello old beans. I am the Lord Duke of Cornwall. out for a jaunt with the missus when this blighter showed up and took me for flippidy do. Im right bloody peeved I am. Well now that im here i would love to hear how all you old chaps and chappeses managed to scrounge up this entire bother.

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Lord Earl of Cornwall

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lol wut

I really wish I had signed up for this game now...

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Originally Posted by johnhughthom

Oh what a fascinating story, come sit beside me and I will tell you a tale of a man who tried to open a tuna stall but wasn't able to get his business off the ground. Do you know why he failed? No? Because he was a Scot! A ha. A ha ha ha.

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Oh, the hilarity! :bucktooth: As you can see, I changed my story, good old amnesia strikes again chap, blasted disease!

So, whats the story Sir Killington? :bow:

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Originally Posted by Thermal Mercury

So, whats the story Sir Killington? :bow:

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Oh well, um you see.... Thing is... OK OK I'll tell you what happened... Ummmm, errr. He was a Scot? That was the joke... Get it?

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Originally Posted by johnhughthom

Oh well, um you see.... Thing is... OK OK I'll tell you what happened... Ummmm, errr. He was a Scot? That was the joke... Get it?

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Gosh, you're such a buzz kill... :3

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Originally Posted by Centurion1

I am the Lord Earl of Cornwall.

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A Welshman?

Dear me, Oliver, what on earth were you thinking inviting these people?

Between the swarthy foreigners and the unkempt proles, one hardly knows where to rest one's eyes.

subotan im american we dont believ ein a monarchy, therefore i am showing my disdain by not give a realistic title to my character.

but since there are so many british orgahs ill change it to duke.

*waits for the backlash*

OK Mr Killer guy, heres the thing. I have totally used up all the mileage I have with this Buzz Killington character. If you could kill me soon it would be much appreciated. Using somebody who appeared like two times on a tv show probably wasn't the smartest idea I've ever had.

Jesters suck.

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Originally Posted by Centurion1

subotan im american we dont believ ein a monarchy, therefore i am showing my disdain by not give a realistic title to my character.

but since there are so many british orgahs ill change it to duke.

*waits for the backlash*

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A titled American? Who ever heard of such nonsense? This man is clearly an imposter!

Butler? Go upstairs to my luggage, and fetch me down my portable gallows, there's a good chap.

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Originally Posted by johnhughthom

OK Mr Killer guy, heres the thing. I have totally used up all the mileage I have with this Buzz Killington character. If you could kill me soon it would be much appreciated. Using somebody who appeared like two times on a tv show probably wasn't the smartest idea I've ever had.

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Oh dear... You Americans are rather capricious, aren't you?

It's all down to a lack of proper breeding and tradition, I'm sure.

The best thing about this game so far is that Winston Hughes already has a nice, stately British name! :P

Stupid Americans, I run into you all the time on cruise ships. All you ever do is say how America is better than us.

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Originally Posted by Secura

The best thing about this game so far is that Winston Hughes already has a nice, stately British name! :P

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Gah! Even the invisible spirits haunting this dilapidated old pile can't seem to get my name right...

[Shouting] It's Weston-Hogues, you incorporeal nincompoops!

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Originally Posted by Winston Hughes

Oh dear... You Americans are rather capricious, aren't you?

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Buzz Killington is not American, I can assure you of that.

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Originally Posted by johnhughthom

Buzz Killington is not American, I can assure you of that.

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Oh my...

Don't tell me you're...

No. Surely not...

Oliver! Please say you didn't invite an Australian to this little gathering!

Bah, my skills are totally wasted here, there isn't even a buzz for me to kill. Boring sods.

I daresay sir if you dare to call me an american one more time i shall be forced to settle this like a gentleman. Let god decide who is right. The COE god of course.

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Originally Posted by johnhughthom

Bah, my skills are totally wasted here, there isn't even a buzz for me to kill. Boring sods.

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What about women? They fly like a butterfly, and sting like a bee. But wait that means they wouldn't buzz. I'm pretty sure the pet shop I saw on my way here had some bees, or you might try Beeville USA, down in Mexico. Or you could go to Death Valley if you'd rather kill some Buzzards.