An Open Letter To All Americans

As some of you know (some of you may not) There is a sport called soccer. In this sport you're only allowed to use your feet unless you are the man in a different color shirt gaurding a rather large net. In which case you use oven mitts to save the ball from going in said net.

Soccer tends to be boring. there is very little scoring and no cracking of pads. There are no cheeleaders and there is no tailgating.

In this sport there is a great get together known as the world cup. I can only assume they stole that from our World Series! This "world cup" happends every 4 years and is watched by many people for a reason I really can't figure out.

At any rate The United States Of America drew england. That's right boys, england. The same country that we beat in the revolutionary war, war of 1812, civil war, Spanish-American war, WWI, WWII, Vietnam and desert storm.

They apparntley are back for more and its time to put them back in the place.

I urge all true Americans to start following soccer and BEAT THE LIMEY'S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:unitedstates:

AWESOME. When do we play?

....

next...summer?

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Originally Posted by Sasaki Kojiro

AWESOME. When do we play?

....

next...summer?

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I can keep this up for 6 months

Lets do it strike! We'll take em on! BRING IT!

I holeheartedly wish you Americans all the best.

Are there any Texans in team USA?

You have our gwatitude.

I eagerly await the ensuing euroweenie "It's FOOTBALL not soccer!" rage posts and condescendingly smug posts. They are delicious candy to me.

:balloon2:

:unitedkingdom:

Don't you mean football? :book2:

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Originally Posted by Centurio Nixalsverdrus

I holeheartedly wish you Americans all the best.

Are there any Texans in team USA?

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There are 8 Texans in our player pool including Dempsy.

Just change the name to 'Modified Kick Ball' and more Americans would start watching.

Oh man kickball is awesome!!

Uh.. oh yeah... quoted for truth.

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Originally Posted by Beskar

Don't you mean football? :book2:

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The germans call american football "Football" and soccer "Fußball" :book:

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Originally Posted by Strike For The South

There are 8 Texans in our player pool including Dempsy.

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That's more than a third of the total number. Where's your Texan self consciousness? Just find a way to oust the Americans from the team to not be hindered by them (especially if it's a goal keeper). Better with 8 Texans than with 11 Americans, no?

Go and teach them foul-teethed Tommies a lesson. Normally we Germans do it, but I guess it's fair enough to step back this time and leave the honour to Texas alone.

That OP was freakin awesome! :laugh4::laugh4::laugh4:

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Originally Posted by Sasaki Kojiro

The germans call american football "Football" and soccer "Fußball" :book:

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Out of sheer reverence for the beauty of England's gift to the world, the French Academie exceptionally allows the French language to honour England for it by not renaming association football with a French term. It is 'le Football' in French. :book:

I don't think there's even a name for Yank padded football.


(But 'soccer' inquébécois. :wall:)

That's the proper way to stir football passion in the US - rivalry with England. Actually, that's probably the only way :laugh4:

Since I always root for the underdog, I'll cheer for the US.

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Originally Posted by Beirut

:unitedkingdom:

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:2thumbsup: we'll breeze the group

These are the countries I favour:


:malta:

:vaticancity:

:tajikistan:

I seriosly hope we win this, just smear it in europe's face that we can beat them in anything -even a sport most of us dont give a damn about-.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Centurio Nixalsverdrus

That's more than a third of the total number. Where's your Texan self consciousness? Just find a way to oust the Americans from the team to not be hindered by them (especially if it's a goal keeper). Better with 8 Texans than with 11 Americans, no?

Go and teach them foul-teethed Tommies a lesson. Normally we Germans do it, but I guess it's fair enough to step back this time and leave the honour to Texas alone.

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In the pool. I think the pool comprises of 40 not 24.

Either way, this is a time where we must stand as one

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Originally Posted by Mooks

I seriosly hope we win this, just smear it in europe's face that we can beat them in anything -even a sport most of us dont give a damn about-.

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Hey, what about cricket huh? I doubt even the English could lose to you at cricket.

This time, italy, you'll be OUR :daisy:

:australia: Ozzie ozzie ozzie! Oi oi oi! :australia:

España para el Euro. España para la Taza de Mundo. :spain:

Looking forward to beating you Americans. Probably the best opposition we could have hoped for, similar style to us (strong, physical players with little technique). Anyone continental or South American and we would have been in big, big trouble.

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Originally Posted by Mooks

I seriosly hope we win this, just smear it in europe's face that we can beat them in anything -even a sport most of us dont give a damn about-.

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That's right, I mean, you're the best in the world in baseball and American football :laugh4:

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Originally Posted by Sarmatian

That's right, I mean, you're the best in the world in baseball and American football :laugh4:

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Serbia:
Gold medals: 0
Silver medals: 2
Bronze medals: 0
Total: 2

USA:
Gold medals: 1008
Silver medals: 810
Bronze medals: 696
Total: 2514

Kiss the medals baby ~:smoking:

Belgium didn't even qualify, again... :shame:

Mexico '86, will those days ever come back?

:bigcry:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sasaki Kojiro

Serbia:
Gold medals: 0
Silver medals: 2
Bronze medals: 0
Total: 2

USA:
Gold medals: 1008
Silver medals: 810
Bronze medals: 696
Total: 2514

Kiss the medals baby ~:smoking:

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It'd be a better comparison if you did medals per capita. :yes:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sasaki Kojiro

Serbia:
Gold medals: 0
Silver medals: 2
Bronze medals: 0
Total: 2

USA:
Gold medals: 1008
Silver medals: 810
Bronze medals: 696
Total: 2514

Kiss the medals baby ~:smoking:

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Originally Posted by Psychonaut

It'd be a better comparison if you did medals per capita. :yes:

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Or maybe per GDP, or perhaps by how many sport players who won those medals were actually born in the country, ie. are not naturalized... Or, I don't know, not use a country that exists 5 years as a basis for comparison and at least take into account medals won by Yugoslavia?

Even though, I've got another statistics for you, read it and weep. To be fair on you, I picked basketball, a sport you Americans invented.

World Championships:
USA
Gold medals: 3
Silver medals: 3
Bronze medals: 4

Serbia/Yugoslavia
Gold medals: 5
Silver medals: 3
Bronze medals: 2

Point proven, case closed :smash:

Beating England, where's the fun it that

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Originally Posted by Fragony

Beating England, where's the fun it that

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I dunno, ask the Scots! :dizzy2:

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Originally Posted by Fragony

Beating England, where's the fun it that

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:huh:

Huh? Wut?



What planet are you from? :huh:

Hmm, colonies seem to be getting uppity again. Oh well, only 6 months before we'll give then a darn good thrashing, now where'd my tea go... :coffeenews:

Well, do yourself a favour and get PES instead of FIFA, That way you may actual get some enjoyment while you learn.

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Originally Posted by Louis VI the Fat

:huh:

Huh? Wut?



What planet are you from? :huh:

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They suddenly can play football nowadays without me noticing? They have great teams because they are a good brand and can pay for quality, but their national team is a pushover they are simply not a match to us.

Strike, how could you?:furious3:
::thumbsdown::thumbsdown::thumbsdown:
:no::no::no:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Fragony

They suddenly can play football nowadays without me noticing? They have great teams because they are a good brand and can pay for quality, but their national team is a pushover they are simply not a match to us.

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Any team with Capello on the bench is a serious opponent. England does have some good players, it just took a strong enough coach to get those ballerinas to actually start playin'.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Fragony

They suddenly can play football nowadays without me noticing? They have great teams because they are a good brand and can pay for quality, but their national team is a pushover they are simply not a match to us.

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Didn't we draw 2-2 with you not so long ago?

In fact according to wikipedia we've played you 18 times, won 5, drawn 9 and lost 4. Pushovers huh? :clown:

And we have a decent manager now so our good players can actually make a good team rather than a good bunch of individuals...

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Originally Posted by Hooahguy

Strike, how could you?:furious3:
::thumbsdown::thumbsdown::thumbsdown:
:no::no::no:

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?

THE ATLANTIC OCEAN RUNS BOTH WAYS

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sarmatian

Or maybe per GDP, or perhaps by how many sport players who won those medals were actually born in the country, ie. are not naturalized... Or, I don't know, not use a country that exists 5 years as a basis for comparison and at least take into account medals won by Yugoslavia?

Even though, I've got another statistics for you, read it and weep. To be fair on you, I picked basketball, a sport you Americans invented.

World Championships:
USA
Gold medals: 3
Silver medals: 3
Bronze medals: 4

Serbia/Yugoslavia
Gold medals: 5
Silver medals: 3
Bronze medals: 2

Point proven, case closed :smash:

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I like that you chose the world championships instead of the olympics :laugh4:

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Originally Posted by Psychonaut

It'd be a better comparison if you did medals per capita. :yes:

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No. Being wealthy and having a large population is a good thing, as good as doing well in sports...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sasaki Kojiro

I like that you chose the world championships instead of the olympics :laugh4:

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85% of those medals were won by a girl looking good with a ball and similar sporting events. Not really indicative. So, let's discount the events where the family of those competing outnumber the audience, shall we...
Plus, prior to every olympics US have a tendency to send guy in a suit with a briefcase full of money and offer Okenchukwu Nokoronkwo hundreds of thousands of dollars to take US citizenship and compete under US flag.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sasaki Kojiro

No. Being wealthy and having a large population is a good thing, as good as doing well in sports...

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It is, no doubt about it, but taking into account size of the country and the wealth, you guys suck big time in sports.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sarmatian

It is, no doubt about it, but taking into account size of the country and the wealth, you guys suck big time in sports.

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https://img709.imageshack.us/img709/3217/cryingbaby.jpg

Quote:

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85% of those medals were won by a girl looking good with a ball and similar sporting events. Not really indicative. So, let's discount the events where the family of those competing outnumber the audience, shall we...

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So they don't count?

Quote:

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Plus, prior to every olympics US have a tendency to send guy in a suit with a briefcase full of money and offer Okenchukwu Nokoronkwo hundreds of thousands of dollars to take US citizenship and compete under US flag.

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You got a link for that sweetie?

The really hiliraous part of all this is our best athletes play American football. So if anything we're at a disadvantage.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sarmatian

85% of those medals were won by a girl looking good with a ball and similar sporting events. Not really indicative. So, let's discount the events where the family of those competing outnumber the audience, shall we...
Plus, prior to every olympics US have a tendency to send guy in a suit with a briefcase full of money and offer Okenchukwu Nokoronkwo hundreds of thousands of dollars to take US citizenship and compete under US flag.

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Sexist :beam:

Seems like the right moment to remind you all that the US has won the world cup twice before.

Quote:

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It is, no doubt about it, but taking into account size of the country and the wealth, you guys suck big time in sports.

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This is like a 5 foot tall guy saying to a 7 foot tall guy "well taking into account your height, you suck at basketball."

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Strike For The South

So they don't count?

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They do count, but it gives them perspective, doesn't it.

Quote:

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You got a link for that sweetie?

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Sorry, can't be bothered to look. It's what you see if you watch - And now in the track 3 athlete from the US, Abdihakem Abdirahman, born in Somalia.

From the top of my head, Preki and Monika Seles come to mind.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sasaki Kojiro

Sexist :beam:

Seems like the right moment to remind you all that the US has won the world cup twice before.

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Which sport we're talking about now?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sasaki Kojiro

This is like a 5 foot tall guy saying to a 7 foot tall guy "well taking into account your height, you suck at basketball."

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No that's more like a 0.1 foot tall guy scoring 15 points and 7 foot guy scoring 16 points and 7 foot guy saying "I scored more than you".

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sarmatian

Which sport we're talking about now?

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Soccer.

Quote:

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No that's more like a 0.1 foot tall guy scoring 15 points and 7 foot guy scoring 16 points and 7 foot guy saying "I scored more than you".

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More like the short guy scoring 2 points and the tall guy scoring 2514 points...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sarmatian

They do count, but it gives them perspective, doesn't it.



Sorry, can't be bothered to look. It's what you see if you watch - And now in the track 3 athlete from the US, Abdihakem Abdirahman, born in Somalia.

From the top of my head, Preki and Monika Seles come to mind.
".

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All the people you mentioned are immagrants. Here in America Immagrants are citizens to.

Not to mention, 90% of the medal winners are "americans" (by your definintion)

So let me get this straight America should be penalized for
-Being Big
-Having a counntry that is appealing
-Being able to speacilize in sports.


Once again, America really doesn't care about any other sport besides our football.

The world plays Americas second string and still gets whipped around everywwhere.

The rest of you suck.

http://www.medalspercapita.com/weighted.html

:study:



Edit:

Hah! :knight:


Olympic medals per capita:

30 France 70 63,753,140 910,759
32 Germany 83 82,191,000 990,253
34 Canada 33 33,353,600 1,010,715
35 Russian Fed. 139 141,888,900 1,020,783
37 Italy 54 59,619,290 1,104,060
38 Ireland 4 4,422,100 1,105,525
40 Spain 38 46,063,000 1,212,184
44 United States 220 304,935,000 1,386,068
46 Poland 22 38,115,967 1,732,543
51 Belgium 5 10,584,534 2,116,906
52 Portugal 5 10,623,000 2,124,600
56 Serbia 4 9,858,000 2,464,500

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Strike For The South

All the people you mentioned are immagrants. Here in America Immagrants are citizens to.

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They're not immigrants. Predrag Radosavljevic was a professional footballer, so he was just working in America. He's no more immigrant than Fernando Torres is immigrant in England.

Same with Monika Seles.

Both of them were athletes born and trained elsewhere who were offered citizenship because they were better than anything America had to offer at the moment.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sasaki Kojiro

Soccer.

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Two world cups? Not really, no.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sasaki Kojiro

More like the short guy scoring 2 points and the tall guy scoring 2514 points...

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actually it's 96 to 2514. And most of our medals are in pathetic events not many athletes compete. Jasna Sekaric won like 10 of those 96 in shooting with various weapons. Olympic medals don't mean much, except for boasting, that's why I prefer world or continental championships and in sports where there's actually some competition.



EDIT: My good friend Louis proves the point for me. You guys are in the 44th place per capita. If someone takes into consideration GDP and how much is spent in sports, you're perilously close to being relegated :D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Louis VI the Fat

http://www.medalspercapita.com/weighted.html

:study:

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Once again. Our second string in sports that play second fiddle to football.

We are beating you lot with 1 hand while cheking football stats with the other.

You Europeans can spin it anyway you'd like.

Hell I have no doubt I'd be an olympic shotputter had I not played Nose gaurd.

Relax.

I, for one, will be firmly rooting for the US to send England packing. Go Yanks!





Less good teams for us to meet in the knock-out stage...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sarmatian

Two world cups? Not really, no.

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Yes. Two. I think we came in third place a couple years as well.

Quote:

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EDIT: My good friend Louis proves the point for me. You guys are in the 44th place per capita. If someone takes into consideration GDP and how much is spent in sports, you're perilously close to being relegated :D

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Try that argument on the next girl you meet. "Taking into consideration my height..."

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sasaki Kojiro

Yes. Two. I think we came in third place a couple years as well.

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Even our men have a third place. :2thumbsup:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Louis VI the Fat

http://www.medalspercapita.com/weighted.html

Olympic medals per capita:

30 France 70 63,753,140 910,759
32 Germany 83 82,191,000 990,253
34 Canada 33 33,353,600 1,010,715
35 Russian Fed. 139 141,888,900 1,020,783
37 Italy 54 59,619,290 1,104,060
38 Ireland 4 4,422,100 1,105,525
40 Spain 38 46,063,000 1,212,184
44 United States 220 304,935,000 1,386,068
46 Poland 22 38,115,967 1,732,543
51 Belgium 5 10,584,534 2,116,906
52 Portugal 5 10,623,000 2,124,600
56 Serbia 4 9,858,000 2,464,500

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22 Great Britain 98 60,975,000 622,193
23 Croatia 7 4,555,000 650,714
24 Czech Republic 15 10,403,136 693,542
25 Korea 67 48,224,000 719,761
26 Kazakhstan 21 15,422,000 734,380
27 Finland 7 5,318,105 759,729
28 Switzerland 10 7,637,300 763,730
29 Azerbaijan 11 8,467,000 769,727
30 France 70 63,753,140 910,759

Okay, can we zip up and put away the tape measures?

The true measure will take place on the football/soccer field. Everything else is just contributing to global warming. :laugh4:

Let me contribute some to global warming... :shrug:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sarmatian

Plus, prior to every olympics US have a tendency to send guy in a suit with a briefcase full of money and offer Okenchukwu Nokoronkwo hundreds of thousands of dollars to take US citizenship and compete under US flag.

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Actually, we ask for:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Statue of Liberty

Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore...

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Heck, no wonder we are only 44th. We need to change that plaque. :laugh4:

From Major Star:

Private Baldrick: [Blackadder has kicked Baldrick] You mustn't do that to me, sir, 'cause that is a bourgeois act of repression, sir!
Captain Blackadder: What?
Private Baldrick: Haven't you smelt it, sir? There's something afoot in the wind! The huddled masses, yearning to be free!
Captain Blackadder: Baldrick, have you been in the diesel oil again?
Private Baldrick: No sir, I've been supping the milk of freedom! Already our Russian comrades are poised on the brink of revolution. And here too, sir, the huddled wossnames - such as myself, sir - are ready to throw off the hated oppressors like you and the lieutenant! Present company excepted, sir.
Captain Blackadder: Go and clean out the latrines.
Private Baldrick: Yes, sir! Right away, sir!

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Originally Posted by Sasaki Kojiro

Yes. Two. I think we came in third place a couple years as well.

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Nope, trust me, US haven't won a single world cup in football/soccer ever. You were 3rd placed once, 1930 I believe.

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Originally Posted by Sarmatian

Nope, trust me, US haven't won a single world cup in football/soccer ever. You were 3rd placed once, 1930 I believe.

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You are being sexist. ~;)

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Originally Posted by drone

You are being sexist. ~;)

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Yeah, that's what I was thinking too.

In fact, I was even getting a bit worked up at Sarmatian being such a dreadfully conservative chauvinist, completely obvlivious of knowing that women play excellent football.

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Originally Posted by Louis VI the Fat

Yeah, that's what I was thinking too.

In fact, I was even getting a bit worked up at Sarmatian being such a dreadfully conservative chauvinist, completely obvlivious of knowing that women play excellent football.

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See, no wonder the european teams lose so much. Here's how american girls play soccer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvEobeNfGcc

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Louis VI the Fat

In fact, I was even getting a bit worked up at Sarmatian being such a dreadfully conservative chauvinist, completely obvlivious of knowing that women play excellent football.

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Very nice Louis, but if those are the kinds of TV shots we can expect in the men's game, I'm NOT watching. :worried2:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Louis VI the Fat

Yeah, that's what I was thinking too.

In fact, I was even getting a bit worked up at Sarmatian being such a dreadfully conservative chauvinist, completely obvlivious of knowing that women play excellent football.

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Needs mud or jello or sumptin'.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Louis VI the Fat

Yeah, that's what I was thinking too.

In fact, I was even getting a bit worked up at Sarmatian being such a dreadfully conservative chauvinist, completely obvlivious of knowing that women play excellent football.

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Heck, even American lingerie football is better than yours ~;p Not to mention American football women are tougher than European football men.

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Two world cups? Not really, no.

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O RLY? :beam:

CR

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Crazed Rabbit

Heck, even American lingerie football is better than yours ~;p

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THAT THAR GAL SCORING THAT TOUCHDOWN IS STRIKE'S MUM I SWEAR I'VE SEEN HER ON HIS FACEBOOK.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Pannonian

22 Great Britain 98 60,975,000 622,193
23 Croatia 7 4,555,000 650,714
24 Czech Republic 15 10,403,136 693,542
25 Korea 67 48,224,000 719,761
26 Kazakhstan 21 15,422,000 734,380
27 Finland 7 5,318,105 759,729
28 Switzerland 10 7,637,300 763,730
29 Azerbaijan 11 8,467,000 769,727
30 France 70 63,753,140 910,759

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Ah. Once again we beat everyone:

6 Australia 89 21,394,309 240,385

:2thumbsup:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Psychonaut

Ah. Once again we beat everyone:

6 Australia 89 21,394,309 240,385

:2thumbsup:

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Oh yeah. :smoking:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Psychonaut

Ah. Once again we beat everyone:

6 Australia 89 21,394,309 240,385

:2thumbsup:

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Except HoreTore and Sigurd
5 Norway 21 4,778,500 227,547

Ajax

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Louis VI the Fat

Yeah, that's what I was thinking too.

In fact, I was even getting a bit worked up at Sarmatian being such a dreadfully conservative chauvinist, completely obvlivious of knowing that women play excellent football.

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Ok, it was a trap and I got caught. Everyone happy now? Yes? Good.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Wakizashi

more Americans would start watching.

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Why would we want that?

About time they join the fray no, they did surprisingly well last time for a virgin team, got a bit lucky here and there and ended up somewhat out of their lague but it as great fun.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Crazed Rabbit

Heck, even American lingerie football is better than yours ~;p

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I think I need to reconsider my stance on american football. :juggle2:

Now it's a chauvinistic, sexist and sinful display of flesh for the perverted minds. :sweatdrop:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Husar

Now it's a chauvinistic, sexist and sinful display of flesh for the perverted minds. :sweatdrop:

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Yes, and what's your point?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Husar

I think I need to reconsider my stance on american football. :juggle2:

Now it's a chauvinistic, sexist and sinful display of flesh for the perverted minds. :sweatdrop:

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Hmm, there isn't much hanging onto her, but I am in love regardless, what an incredibly cute girl

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v...hoochimama.jpg

I can't entirely articulate why, but those legs make me feel sick.

I can't look at them.

whats a bloody LIMEY?

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Originally Posted by Beskar

Don't you mean football? :book2:

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football? dont you mean soccer?



meh. i never liked soccer. maybe it was the fact that i was forced to play when i was 7(8?) or, maybe that i just dont like a sport that you only use your feet in. anyway, whatever.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by cmacq

whats a bloody LIMEY?

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Brit?

I could be wrong, but during the lovely british empire sailing days, limes to stave off scurvy, hence limey.

Yeah PI, because a sport that you only use your feet in and focuses on a ball is not football.

You need a simple way to say the difference.

Here, football could mean a number of things, so we keep it simple

Union: Rugby Union
League: Rugby League
AFL: Aussie Rules
Grid Iron: American Football (aka: pansies :tongue:)
Gaelic Football: obvious
Football: soccer

this, of course, depends on the circle of people, if you only talk about league, then that will be football. But in a big group...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by cmacq

whats a bloody LIMEY?

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https://img192.imageshack.us/img192/...20032c7ac0.jpg

Quote:

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Originally Posted by pevergreen

I can't entirely articulate why, but those legs make me feel sick.

I can't look at them.

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She is wearing tights, which makes her legs look unnatural.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Louis VI the Fat

https://img192.imageshack.us/img192/...20032c7ac0.jpg

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thats more like it.