An Open Letter To All Americans

[Sasaki Kojiro]

Two world cups? Not really, no.

Yes. Two. I think we came in third place a couple years as well.

EDIT: My good friend Louis proves the point for me. You guys are in the 44th place per capita. If someone takes into consideration GDP and how much is spent in sports, you're perilously close to being relegated :D

Try that argument on the next girl you meet. "Taking into consideration my height..."

[drone]

Yes. Two. I think we came in third place a couple years as well.

Even our men have a third place.

[Gregoshi]

Okay, can we zip up and put away the tape measures?

The true measure will take place on the football/soccer field. Everything else is just contributing to global warming.

[Sarmatian]

Yes. Two. I think we came in third place a couple years as well.

Nope, trust me, US haven't won a single world cup in football/soccer ever. You were 3rd placed once, 1930 I believe.

[drone]

Nope, trust me, US haven't won a single world cup in football/soccer ever. You were 3rd placed once, 1930 I believe.

You are being sexist.

[Louis VI the Fat]

You are being sexist.

Yeah, that's what I was thinking too.

In fact, I was even getting a bit worked up at Sarmatian being such a dreadfully conservative chauvinist, completely obvlivious of knowing that women play excellent football.

[Sasaki Kojiro]

Yeah, that's what I was thinking too.

In fact, I was even getting a bit worked up at Sarmatian being such a dreadfully conservative chauvinist, completely obvlivious of knowing that women play excellent football.

See, no wonder the european teams lose so much. Here's how american girls play soccer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvEobeNfGcc

[Gregoshi]

In fact, I was even getting a bit worked up at Sarmatian being such a dreadfully conservative chauvinist, completely obvlivious of knowing that women play excellent football.

Very nice Louis, but if those are the kinds of TV shots we can expect in the men's game, I'm NOT watching.

[Hosakawa Tito]

Yeah, that's what I was thinking too.

In fact, I was even getting a bit worked up at Sarmatian being such a dreadfully conservative chauvinist, completely obvlivious of knowing that women play excellent football.

Needs mud or jello or sumptin'.

[Crazed Rabbit]

Yeah, that's what I was thinking too.

In fact, I was even getting a bit worked up at Sarmatian being such a dreadfully conservative chauvinist, completely obvlivious of knowing that women play excellent football.

Heck, even American lingerie football is better than yours Not to mention American football women are tougher than European football men.

Two world cups? Not really, no.

O RLY?

CR

[Louis VI the Fat]

Heck, even American lingerie football is better than yours

THAT THAR GAL SCORING THAT TOUCHDOWN IS STRIKE'S MUM I SWEAR I'VE SEEN HER ON HIS FACEBOOK.

[Husar]

Heck, even American lingerie football is better than yours

I think I need to reconsider my stance on american football.

Now it's a chauvinistic, sexist and sinful display of flesh for the perverted minds.

[Sarmatian]

Now it's a chauvinistic, sexist and sinful display of flesh for the perverted minds.

Yes, and what's your point?

[Fragony]

I think I need to reconsider my stance on american football.

Now it's a chauvinistic, sexist and sinful display of flesh for the perverted minds.

Hmm, there isn't much hanging onto her, but I am in love regardless, what an incredibly cute girl

[Sarmatian]

Yeah, that's what I was thinking too.

In fact, I was even getting a bit worked up at Sarmatian being such a dreadfully conservative chauvinist, completely obvlivious of knowing that women play excellent football.

Ok, it was a trap and I got caught. Everyone happy now? Yes? Good.

[The Stranger]

how the hell did australia get so many medals? that cant be right surely.

edit... hehe belgium sux

[Cyclops]

Look soccer is a very beautiful game and worth looking at for sure but Australia is 10 times more likely to beat England than the Yanks* are. Not because we're better than the Yanks, but because of our "special relationship".

OK it may have slipped recently with the abysmal ashes losses (2-3 or 1-2 is far more embarrassing for us than 5-0 is for them) and there was some World Cup Rugby hiccup a few years ago but it was just that, a hiccup.

There's something that happens to a Pom when he meets an Aussie on the pitch: his balls shrink and he loses the will to live. If we were ever lucky enough to fake it through to the last couple of rounds and meet the Poms this time then every man jack of them would be sweating bullets.

Warnie and McGrath could be specialist sledging** coaches.

how the hell did australia get so many medals? that cant be right surely...

hehehe Academy of Sport (professional amateurs), and our guys (prolly) use as many drugs as the Americans too!

We haven't been around too long and we haven't won many wars (we generally come along for our allies sakes and cop a beating) so we make up for it with weiner-strengthening sports wins. In real sports like hockey and swimming.

* All citizens of the USA are Yanks to us, even the Texans because the Yankees won the war.

**Sledging is seriously unsportsmanlike personal abuse that the rather bitchy and meanspirited Aussie cricket team is infamous for. Bunch of thinskinned prima donnas, all they are good for is beating the Poms.

[pevergreen]

We haven't been around too long and we haven't won many wars (we generally come along for our allies sakes and cop a beating) so we make up for it with weiner-strengthening sports wins. In real sports like hockey and swimming.

I've never seen you post before, but you're poised to take over from STFS in awesomeness.