Coping with Bi-Polar

[Samurai Waki]

Ok. For you and you're wifes sake.

Having lived with Bi Polar since I was fourteen, I've seen the many (quite often) scary corners that such a mental disease can bring, not only because it leads to self destructive behaviors that affect your own well being, but the well being of people around you. I'm very sorry to hear the trouble you've been going through, but I can offer you some tips, for both you and her.

1. It will NEVER go away. Actually, Mania is just a step below Schizophrenia. And the older you get, the greater her chances are of developing it. Frightening prospect, but treatable.

2. Medicate. But never self medicate. Bi-Polar disorder cycles between Depressed periods, normal "balanced" periods, and Manic Periods. You NEED to get her on something, I'm currently taking Depakote, which is old school, and causes some stomach irritation, but isn't as harmful as Lithium and is affordable. Keep in mind, that Bi Polar never goes away, often times people stop medicating when they hit their balanced periods, thinking "oh yeah! its over!" its not, it will hit again, and hit hard. So she should never stop taking meds, and she has to learn how to be responsible for it. But especially if she's going through a manic period, it can be hard, just make sure someone is reminding her constantly. If she's self medicating, she needs to stop IMMEDIATELY!!! Drinking seems to be the real killer for most Bi Polar people, and some people just have to be sober the rest of their lives. When I turned 21, I nearly drank myself to death, and then I got help and went sober for two years, gradually building myself back up to a point where I can drink once in a great while, and socially only.

3. She needs to acknowledge that she has incurable illness (treatable but not curable.) Its like deafness, blindness, tuberculosis, or any plethora of those out there. Once she has made that connection, usually you find a reason to defeat it, or cope with it at least, and stop being a burden on everyone around you. I wouldn't wish what we have on my worst enemy.

4. Get the Book "Bi Polar Survival Guide". Read it. Have her read it. It will change both of your perspectives on the situation.

5. as of 2006, Bi Polar Disorder was recognized as a Disability (in the US). If you're having trouble with bills, File for Disabilities. It can save you a bunch of money, and give her proper time and adequate treatment.

6. exercise! exercise! exercise! If I'm feeling manic, instead of waving a gun around the house, or yelling really loud, I go outside and chop wood, or take a long walk by myself until I'm so tired I can't think anymore. it does wonders.

7. She needs you man. There's been times, you know when I've really lost hope. and My wife and daughters have saved me every time. Thats even while taking and being completely faithful to my medication. Most people think that the Medication is a silver bullet that kills the Werewolf, and its not, it just helps you get through the day.

8. Reality is harsh. She needs to accept it, and deal with it. Nobody else but her can do that (and the meds help in this arena greatly).

9. She's not crazy. Just confused by chemicals triggering wildly in her head, she can't control it.

10. Don't become a Scientologist.

...And if I didn't get the help I needed. I would either be laying six feet underground, or possibly in a Prison Cell. Like my cousin.