News of the Weird

[Gregoshi]

Makes me wonder if ancient Egyptian hieroglyphic lolcatz exist.

They'd be found in the catacombs no doubt.

[Louis VI the Fat]

They'd be found in the catacombs no doubt.

Yeah, I think I saw those underneath the Great Purrhamid of Giza.

I whisker had taken some pics but I had a busy schedule to cats up with, which left me no paws for reflection.

[Gregoshi]

Louis, if you were a cat, you'd have used up four of your lives on that last post...

[Vladimir]

Louis, if you were a cat, you'd have used up fur of your lives on that last post...

[Yoyoma1910]

Forced gay marriage becomes unbearable

You have to watch out for those Black Market Polar Bear salesmen.

"Oh sure sure! It's a boy bear, just like you asked for. Yeah, it'll make you lots of little baby bears with that old broad you got already. No problem.


What? Oh, no need to look down there. It's a boy. I guarantee."

[drone]

Inflatable boobs lost at sea

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

More than 130,000 inflatable breasts have been lost at sea en route to Australia.

Men's magazine Ralph was planning to include the boobs as a free gift with its January issue.

The cargo is worth about $200,000, which is another blow for publisher ACP's parent company PBL, which is already in $4.3 billion of debt.

A spokeswoman for Ralph said the container left docks in Beijing two weeks ago but turned up empty in Sydney this week.

The magazine has put out an alert to shipping authorities to see if they have the container, but if they don't turn up in the next 48 hours it will be too late for the next issue, she said.

Ralph editor Santi Pintado urged anyone who has any information to contact the magazine.

"Unless Somali pirates have stolen them its difficult to explain where they are," Pintado told AAP.

"If anyone finds any washed up on a beach, please let us know."

[Louis VI the Fat]

Men's magazine Ralph was planning to include the boobs as a free gift with its January issue.
[...]
"If anyone finds any washed up on a beach, please let us know."

Pictures of thousands of boobies floating in the Pacific.

[Crazed Rabbit]

Don't know how to perform a surgical operation? Have a friend text message you the steps!

CR

[Hosakawa Tito]

Inflatable boobs lost at sea

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

More than 130,000 inflatable breasts have been lost at sea en route to Australia.

Men's magazine Ralph was planning to include the boobs as a free gift with its January issue.

The cargo is worth about $200,000, which is another blow for publisher ACP's parent company PBL, which is already in $4.3 billion of debt.

A spokeswoman for Ralph said the container left docks in Beijing two weeks ago but turned up empty in Sydney this week.

The magazine has put out an alert to shipping authorities to see if they have the container, but if they don't turn up in the next 48 hours it will be too late for the next issue, she said.

Ralph editor Santi Pintado urged anyone who has any information to contact the magazine.

"Unless Somali pirates have stolen them its difficult to explain where they are," Pintado told AAP.

"If anyone finds any washed up on a beach, please let us know."

I pray the authorities keep us abreast of this titillating story of missing Aussie boobs in the hopes of an uplifting ending. No doubt the Somali pirates are involved and plan to use them as booby traps to waylay unsuspecting ships.

[spmetla]

It is not clear how the boy was injured. It was suggested that he had been bitten by a hippopotamus while fishing, but Mr Nott also heard that he had been caught in crossfire between government and rebel forces.

Sometimes you can't help but feel sorry for an entire continent, when I was a kid I only had to fear the occasional dog.

[Lemur]

Looks like our undersea enemies are thinking about doubling their firepower.

Man Bags Mutant, 4-clawed Lobster

A lady lobster with four claws was pulled from the deep this week in the waters off Newport. With a large crusher claw and three pincher claws — instead of the usual one — the crustacean was unlike anything 39-year-old lobsterman Patrick Marks had ever seen in his 14 years catching the creatures.

All of the lobster's excess appendages worked. [...]

Marks told the Newport Daily News he sometimes lets lobsters go out of guilt when they look at him funny.

[Gregoshi]

Looks like our undersea enemies are thinking about doubling their firepower.

Man Bags Mutant, 4-clawed Lobster

So, is the alleged octosquid strategy now a four pronged pincer movement with its armour?

The best defense? Through counter-intelligence, convince the octosquids that we are at our most vulnerable and should therefore attack our malls at dawn on Black Friday. They won't stand a chance.

[English assassin]

More than 130,000 inflatable breasts have been lost at sea en route to Australia.

A spokeswoman for Ralph said the container left docks in Beijing two weeks ago but turned up empty in Sydney this week.

The chinese must have a very odd idea about westerners from the junk we buy off them.

[Louis VI the Fat]

The chinese must have a very odd idea about westerners from the junk we buy off them.

They probably do.

Maybe we can sneakily spin it, convince them that these were 130.000 booby traps against the octosquids.

[drone]

The comic strip Non Sequitur did a series on lobsters over Thanksgiving week. We can fight back!
http://www.gocomics.com/nonsequitur/2008/11/24/


Edit-> speaking of octosquids, CNN has footage of their latest xenoform:
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/bes...c.shot.wed.cnn
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

[Lemur]

California man found in foreclosed house with cats, opossums, raccoon, and mother’s skeleton

Los Angeles police have found the skeleton of an elderly woman, apparently dead for two years, in a foreclosed house where she had lived with her 48-year-old son.

Officials said they were trying to identify the woman they believe was Barbara Hunt, who would have been 86.

Media reports said the woman’s son, Robert Hunt, was at the home in North Hollywood when police arrived but had not been arrested.

The deterioration of the body, which was found on the bed in a back room, made it difficult to determine cause of death Craig Harve, a spokesman for the LA coroner said.

He said the woman was believed to have died in 2006.

[InsaneApache]

Was he called Norman by any chance?

[Lemur]

Two words that should never, ever go together: bacon and mints.

[FactionHeir]

Prescription guns on your medical insurance

[Vladimir]

Anti-Semitic sunflower seeds. Anyone know if they're Jewish food?

http://www.vosizneias.com/23726/2008...-anti-semitic/

[Vladimir]

Funny, but not mine:

BCS DECLARES GERMANY WINNER OF WORLD WAR II US Ranked 4th

After determining the Big-12 championship game participants the BCS computers were put to work on other major contests and today the BCS declared Germany to be the winner of World War II.

"Germany put together an incredible number of victories beginning with the annexation of Austria and the Sudetenland and continuing on into conference play with defeats of Poland, France, Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Belgium and the Netherlands. Their only losses came against the US and Russia; however considering their entire body of work––including an incredibly tough Strength of Schedule––our computers deemed them worthy of the #1 ranking."

Questioned about the #4 ranking of the United States the BCS commissioner stated "The US only had two major victories––Japan and Germany. The computer models, unlike humans, aren't influenced by head-to-head contests––they consider each contest to be only a single, equally-weighted event."

German Chancellor Adolph Hiter said "Yes, we lost to the US; but we defeated #2 ranked France in only 6 weeks." Herr Hitler has been criticized for seeking dramatic victories to earn 'style points' to enhance Germany's rankings. Hitler protested "Our contest with Poland was in doubt until the final day and the conditions in Norway were incredibly challenging and demanded the application of additional forces."

The French ranking has also come under scrutiny. The BCS commented "

France had a single loss against Germany and following a preseason #1 ranking they only fell to #2."

Japan was ranked #3 with victories including Manchuria, Borneo and the Philippines

[Louis VI the Fat]

Four shotgun wielding Serbo-Croatian drag queens rob one of Paris' most prestigious jewelry stores of $100 million in biggest heist ever.

At first sight, the three women and a man who entered the Harry Winston store in Paris resembled the sophisticated international clientele that frequents this most exclusive of jewellers. But staff soon realised that something was amiss: the women were really men disguised in wigs and dresses, and all four visitors were holding guns.

They herded the 15 or so staff and customers into a corner – hitting some over the head – loaded necklaces, brooches, watches and other valuables into their bags, and made off with a haul valued at €85 million (£74 million).

[Gregoshi]

Four shotgun wielding Servo-Crowatian drag queens rob one of Paris' most prestigious jewelry stores of $100 million in biggest heist ever.

I'd wondered what happened to these guys once MST3K went off the air. Guess they've fallen on hard times.

[Crazed Rabbit]

Britney Spears: Mathematically Obscene

Key Equation Quote:

0=NP(20C+B)/75

CR

[ajaxfetish]

Britney Spears: Mathematically Obscene

Key Equation Quote:

0=NP(20C+B)/75

CR

It would be a slightly more believable article if they proofread their math.

Britney’s tight fitting Roberto Cavalli dress showed off around 70 per cent of her breasts, and experts at Wonderbra think she is a 32D. Without any nipple exposure, Britney’s formula works out as 0x70x(20x5+32)/75 = 123.2.

The first figure is a zero. Everything else multiplied by that zero, so the answer would be . . . zero, not 123.2 .

Ajax

[Gregoshi]

Your problem ajax, is that you are looking at the wrong figures...

[Banquo's Ghost]

Your problem ajax, is that you are looking at the wrong figures...

Brilliant, maestro!

[Lemur]

Malaysian man killed for hogging karaoke microphone

A Malaysian karaoke enthusiast hogged the microphone for so long that people set upon him and stabbed him to death.

Abdul Sani Doli refused to hand over the microphone at a coffee shop that doubles as a karaoke bar in the town of Sandakan, Borneo. Two men have been arrested on suspicion of murder after the altercation erupted a few minutes before midnight. [...]

Karaoke rage is not unheard of in Asia. There have been several reported cases of singers being assaulted, shot or stabbed mid-performance, usually over how songs are sung.

Frank Sinatra's My Way has reportedly generated such outbursts of hostility that some bars in the Philippines now no longer offer it on the karaoke menu. In Thailand this year, a gunman shot eight people dead after tiring of their endless renditions of a John Denver tune.

[CountArach]

Cartoon porn kids are people, judge says in Simpsons porn case

CARTOON characters are people too, a judge has ruled in the case of a man convicted over cartoons based on The Simpsons, in which children are shown having sex.

In the New South Wales Supreme Court today, Justice Michael Adams ruled that a fictional cartoon character was a "person" within the meaning of the relevant state and commonwealth laws.

Alan John McEwan was appealing his February conviction for possessing child pornography and using his computer to access child pornography.

"The alleged pornography comprised a series of cartoons depicting figures modelled on members of the television animated series The Simpsons," the judge said.

The cartoons showed characters such as Bart, Lisa and Maggie Simpson having sex.

McEwan was convicted and fined $3000 and placed on a good behaviour bond.

"In my view, the magistrate was correct in determining that, in respect of both the commonwealth and the NSW offences, the word 'person' included fictional or imaginary characters ...," the judge said.

"... The mere fact that the figure depicted departed from a realistic representation in some respects of a human being did not mean that such a figure was not a 'person'."

In dismissing the appeal, the judge ordered each party to pay its own legal costs in the first case dealing with the "difficult" issue.

[Lemur]

Weird signage: