News of the Weird

[Marshal Murat]

I'm wooing a waskaly wabbit.

[Gregoshi]

<sings "Rabbit of Seville"> Oh why do you want to woo a wabbit?

[Major Robert Dump]

PETA Wants To Turn George Clooney’s Sweat Into Flavored Tofu.

Apparently he responded to them: "As a mammal, I'm offended."

[The_Mark]

As a mammal, I'd rather have them milk the flavoring material out of me. Wouldn't eat the tofu, though.

[Lemur]

Woman drugs boss's coffee so he'll "chill"

BRYANT, Ark. -- Police said a woman has been arrested for allegedly slipping some tranquilizers into her boss's coffee because she felt "he needed to chill out." Police said the 24-year-old woman admitted to detectives that she slipped the drugs into veteranarian John Duckett's drink. Officers said Duckett knew something was wrong shortly after drinking some of the coffee Tuesday morning.

Officers said the woman cleaned the cages at the the Reynolds Road Animal Clinic.

[Crazed Rabbit]

Let no one say that the Star Wars missile defense system from the 1980s doesn't have practical benefits:

AMERICAN scientists are making a ray gun to kill mosquitoes. Using technology developed under the Star Wars anti-missile programme, the zapper is being built in Seattle where astrophysicists have created a laser that locks onto airborne insects.

CR

[Husar]

that's not weird, I wanted such an anti-mosquito air-defense system fora while, that's great!

[Major Robert Dump]

German company names fried chicken strips after Obama

http://www.spiegel.de/international/...612684,00.html

[Lemur]

Two angry camels. In a car. A compact car. Man, do they sound steamed.

[Marshal Murat]

"No Ahmed, "horsepower" doesn't mean that we put horses in the engine! No Ahmed, don't put camels in the engine for endurance!"

[InsaneApache]

She was born in Birmingham, educated in Bristol, speaks fluent English and holds a British passport – but Julie Dutton has been told she will have to sit an English language test if she wants to work in Australia.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/new...cle5921966.ece

As the man said...

It just goes to show you can't be too careful!

[Gregoshi]

She sounds a bit pompous if you ask me.

[InsaneApache]

She sounds a bit pompous if you ask me.

Fixed it for you.

[Gregoshi]

I knew you'd get it IA.

[Banquo's Ghost]

I'm at a loss for a witty headline for this that won't have me self-banning, but the sentence below gives you the gist.

...and that she'd according come armed with a "turkey baster and her brother’s semen in a sealed container"

[Gregoshi]

I'm at a loss for a witty headline for this that won't have me self-banning, but the sentence below gives you the gist.

That would make little Johnny a basterd, right?

[Major Robert Dump]

Her lesbian lover never saw it coming

[Crazed Rabbit]

Speaking of that, here you can hear Bill O'Reilly say "I wish I was a lesbian" and other brief clips from the audiobook of his novel. You'll also hear "Off with those pants".

Some clips are DECIDELY NSFW.

I know this isn't news, but it isn't a video either, and it's not exactly political...

Should be amusing though. We needs a soundboard!

CR

[Don Corleone]

We're too bloody fat to work, so give us more money!

I'm just glad they're not Americans for once...

They claim their weight problem is hereditary—they do not choose to be this way—and the money coming in isn't enough to live on. "What we get barely covers the bills and puts food on the table," says Mr. Chawner. "It's not our fault we can't work. We deserve more." Well, apparently there is quite a bit of food making it to the table. The Telegraph says each member of the family consumes 3,000 calories a day.

[Hooahguy]

to quote the article....

Now that, my friends, is chutzpah.

[Major Robert Dump]

ITS MY THYROIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID!

[Lemur]

I'm always glad to see state legislators using their time wisely. Four states have tried and failed to ban violent video games, Connecticut just tried to legislate how its local Catholic Diocese manages itself, and the only surprising thing is that New Hampshire hasn't made an attempt to outlaw "fun."

NJ considers ban on bare-it-all 'Brazilian' wax

TRENTON, N.J. (AP) - New Jersey is drawing the line when it comes to bikini waxing. The state Board of Cosmetology and Hairstyling is moving toward a ban on genital waxing after two women reported being injured in their quest for a smooth bikini line.

Both women were hospitalized for infections following so-called "Brazilian" bikini waxes; one of the women has filed a lawsuit, according to Jeff Lamm, a spokesman for New Jersey's Division of Consumer Affairs, which oversees the cosmetology board.

Technically, genital waxing has never been allowed - only the face, neck, abdomen, legs and arms are permitted - but because bare-it-all "Brazilians" weren't specifically banned, state regulators haven't enforced the law.

"The genital area is not part of the abdomen or legs as some might assume," Lamm said.

Officials with the National Cosmetology Association and National-Interstate Council of State Boards of Cosmetology said they were unaware of another state that has banned genital waxing.

Regular bikini waxes would still be allowed. [...]

The state Board of Cosmetology meets next on April 14 and will decide whether to move forward with banning the procedure, made popular in Brazil to accommodate skimpy thong bikinis.

The earliest the ban could take effect would be sometime in May, Lamm said, and salons that continue to perform it could be fined.

[seireikhaan]

I'm always glad to see state legislators using their time wisely. Four states have tried and failed to ban violent video games, Connecticut just tried to legislate how its local Catholic Diocese manages itself, and the only surprising thing is that New Hampshire hasn't made an attempt to outlaw "fun."

NJ considers ban on bare-it-all 'Brazilian' wax

Oh dear, its that time...

[naut]

I guess Senator Lautenberg misses Bush already.

[Papewaio]

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/new...cle5921966.ece

As the man said...

It just goes to show you can't be too careful!

Did you note that this is a case of diplomatic reciprocity.

"The policy is the same as in Britain, where Australians are required to pass an English language test to qualify for work. "

Aussies, Canadians and US citizens all have to pass an English test to work in UK.

[CountArach]

Did you note that this is a case of diplomatic reciprocity.

"The policy is the same as in Britain, where Australians are required to pass an English language test to qualify for work. "

Aussies, Canadians and US citizens all have to pass an English test to work in UK.

Well I understand for us - we are, after all, a nation of criminals.

[Gregoshi]

Well I understand for us - we are, after all, a nation of criminals.

Imprisoned by a language barrier.

[Evil_Maniac From Mars]

Aussies, Canadians and US citizens all have to pass an English test to work in UK.

It makes sense though, at least for Canadians and to a lesser extent for Americans. French is an official language of Canada, and there are a fair number of Quebecois French speakers who have only a rudimentary grasp of English. I don't know the specifics on America, but apparently only 83% of their population speaks English.

[Husar]

It makes sense though, at least for Canadians and to a lesser extent for Americans. French is an official language of Canada, and there are a fair number of Quebecois French speakers who have only a rudimentary grasp of English. I don't know the specifics on America, but apparently only 83% of their population speaks English.

Now you're really starting to take this America thing to a new level when you compare Canada with America....

[Lemur]

Porn Sting Goes To The Dogs

Attempt to ensnare boyfriend comes back to bite Indiana woman

MARCH 18--Meet Michelle Owen. Concerned that an ex-boyfriend had used her laptop to search for child pornography, the Indiana woman asked police to search the computer for illegal images, but had her plan backfire when cops discovered two videos of her engaged in illicit acts with a dog. Owen, 24, was charged last week with two felony bestiality counts in connection with the video files, which a detective found in the laptop's "recycle bin." At the time Owen asked cops to search the computer, she was locked up in the Johnson County Jail on a public intoxication charge (which violated the terms of her release in a prior drunk driving case). According to a police affidavit, a copy of which you'll find here, a cop told Owen that he had found videos of her on the laptop and asked if she "knew what those files might be." Owen, pictured in the below mug shot, replied, "The one with the dog." Cops believe that the dog in question, Toby, is a beagle. After asking if she was "going to be charged with this," Owen said that the videos "were just something she did when she was drunk and barely remembers it," adding that she tried to "delete them the next day when she was sober.

Confirmed dog-lover.