'you owe it to that famous chick general whose name starts with a B'
OILAM TREBOPALA INDI PORCOM LAEBO INDI INTAM PECINAM ELMETIACUI
"Furthermore, (I) think Carthage (must) be destroyed"
You are right.
Mine's pretty rusty too.
The ordinary meaning of esse is "to be". In linguistic speak it is the "infinitive" (eg. to run, to bite, etc) of the verb sum ("I am"). In english the same verb has many forms even in its present tense (eg. I am, he is, they are).
In latin the verb esse also has a special role to play alongside other verbs. In the example you give the verb is delendam esse which is a conjugation of the verb deleo (I destroy), delere (to destroy).
The form delendam esse is what is called the "gerundive" (we do not have it in english) and implies a requirement to do, or not to do, something. Delendam esse literally means "it is required to be destroyed".
Esse is also used with latin verbs to form other tenses and forms.
Does that make sense?
So the answer to your question is: esse is the same word on each occasion, but it has a wholly different meaning in each case.
Not sure if this has been mentioned before, but I was just reading History of the Peloponnesian War when I came across this beautiful quote:
This day will be the beginning of great misfortune for the Hellenes. - Melesippus, the final Spartan herald to Athens, on being rebuffed by the Athenians, 431 BC
Thucydides (edited by Robert B. Strassler, trans. by Richard Crawley), History of the Peloponnesian War (as presented within Strassler's The Landmark Thucydides), Book Two, 2.12.3
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