News of the Weird

[Gregoshi]

How such Beastility exist

Um, Uwe, when they say to get rich quick you should marry a fat cat who's on his deathbed, this isn't what they meant.

[miotas]

How did the cat say "yes"?

[Gregoshi]

How did the cat say "yes"?

In Catalan, I'd imagine.

[Lemur]

If you can't brand your own children, who can you brand?



PORT ANGELES, Wash. -- The jury deciding the fate of a Sequim man accused of assaulting two of his children by burning initials into their skin with a hot branding iron found him not guilty of second-degree assault Thursday afternoon.

The jury is deadlocked on Mark J. Seamands' lesser charge of fourth-degree assault. Superior Court Judge Brooke Taylor declared a mistrial on that count. [...]

The case could end with Seamands, 39, being sentenced for up to 12 to 14 months for branding "SK" - for "Seamands Kids" - on the chest of his then-13-year-old son and the arm of his then-15-year-old son.

He branded them on Nov. 25, 2008, after they asked him to do it, the father and both boys testified.

"I asked to be branded," the younger son, now 15, testified Tuesday.

He wanted to be branded, he said, "because I was going to be part of this family my whole life."

On the same day, a friend branded "SK" on the arm of the father with the same red-hot branding iron, according to the father's testimony.

The father also branded his then-18-year-old daughter.

[Lemur]

Sex-crazed kangaroo jumps on Ozzie joggers



An amorous kangaroo in the mood for love has female joggers hopping mad in the Honeymoon Ranges of Australia's outback Northern Territory, prompting a flood of angry calls to authorities.

Territory police said Friday they had received reports of the kangaroo stalking residents in the ranges near the township of Tennant Creek, including a woman on her morning walk.

"There was no doubt about what he wanted, the randy old thing," the woman told local papers. "I turned around and saw this big kangaroo behind me, so I hastened my steps," she said.

The woman said the obviously aroused animal bounded off when other walkers approached and she sought to escape.

[InsaneApache]

That roo was obviously looking for a jump.

[gaelic cowboy]

I was perusing a well know Irish politics forum when I seen a thread title on fellatio in bats one of there professors has been censured for showing an article on this. Apparently showing a person a peer reviewed journal can get you into trouble now

From politics.ie

Article from Huff post

Petition

Original article

[naut]

I was perusing a well know Irish politics forum when I seen a thread title on fellatio in bats one of there professors has been censured for showing an article on this. Apparently showing a person a peer reviewed journal can get you into trouble now

From politics.ie

Article from Huff post

Petition

Original article

Female bats often lick their mate's penis during dorsoventral copulation. The female lowers her head to lick the shaft or the base of the male's penis but does not lick the glans penis which has already penetrated the vagina. Males never withdrew their penis when it was licked by the mating partner. A positive relationship exists between the length of time that the female licked the male's penis during copulation and the duration of copulation. Furthermore, mating pairs spent significantly more time in copulation if the female licked her mate's penis than if fellatio was absent.

[gaelic cowboy]

It really is funny isnt it

[naut]

The fact that the females are licking during penetration.... that tops it all of. All bats are contortionists.

[Hosakawa Tito]

Crimebo the Clown. Sure beats twisting balloons at kiddie birthday parties.

[Viking]

Farmer art:


(source)

[Hosakawa Tito]

Come on baby light my fire.

The siltstone phallus, which has been dated to be at least 28,000 years old, was apparently discarded after it was broken.
Jealous husband?

Grog shoulda known better than to show her how to make tools.

[Hosakawa Tito]

Nudist alert for New Zealand. I'm gonna have nightmares tonight.

[aimlesswanderer]

First ever wedding conducted by a robot. We await the first ever wedding to a robot.

[Tellos Athenaios]

Mechanic who drove with man on bonnet asks, 'why was I charged?'

[aimlesswanderer]

If you were going to mug a guy, perhaps outside a ninja training centre is not the best place.

[InsaneApache]

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

A bomb-maker was discovered when a schoolgirl looking for her ball accidentally stepped on a trip-wire in her neighbour's garden, a court heard today.

The terrified seven-year-old set off a series of detonators when she tried to get the ball from the house of 'hate-filled' Donatien Se Sabi Bestrualta Chamchawala.

Her parents called police who uncovered a weapons cache and explosives den in his home in a quiet street.

Police said Chamchawala, 31, had a hatred of gays, Jews and - irrationally - black people, and they believed he could have targeted them for attacks.

Chamchawala, of Blackwood, Caerphilly, south Wales, was today detained indefinitely under the Mental Health Act after admitting making and possessing explosives.

Nicholas Jones, prosecuting, said the defendant, 31, was born with the name Andrew Webbe but changed it in 2003.

He said he chose Donatien after the French author and aristocrat the Marquis de Sade, who shared that name.

He added: "Bestrualta is an anagram of "ultrabeast" and Chamchawala is a character in Salman Rushdie's The Satanic Verses.

"He said in interview he identified with the character, who was a recluse."

Mr Jones said: 'His neighbours had a family barbecue and a ball went over the wall into his house.

'The girl's father asked if it was alright if the children retrieved the ball and Chamchawala nodded.


Chamchawala's home in a quiet part of Caerphilly, south Wales, where police say he targeted the various groups that he hated, including his own race


'The seven-year-old and her nine-year-old friend went into the garden when there was a massive bang, followed a couple of seconds later by another.

'Smoke was coming from the garden, while Chamchawala calmly walked back into the house. The children were terrified.'

Cardiff Crown Court was told neighbours became suspicious after Chamchawala left doors and windows open during winter months.

Mr Jones said: 'There were often smells of burning but no obvious signs of smoke.

'But Chamchawala would use air fresheners up to six time a day.'

Anti terror police who raided the house in Blackwood, South Wales, found two swords, a sawn-off shotgun, a revolver a machete and a bullet proof vest.

There were also hundreds of pages of documents where Chamchawala expressed his hatred for innocent civilians including Jews, 'Christian cesspit of America' and British National Party activists.


Chamchawala's kitchen was packed with bomb-making equipment

Officers also found literature including the Anarchists' Cookbook, Bazooka: How To Build Your Own, The CIA Book Of Dirty Tricks, The US Army Counter Sniper Guide and material on booby traps and improvised explosive devices.

Hussain Zahia, defending said: 'There's no suggestion of any intention to deploy explosives and no evidence this was directed to anybody.

'He was experimenting in an obsessional fashion.'

Jobless Chamchawala, who lived off benefits, was sectioned under the Mental Health Act after admitting making explosives and possessing a prohibited firearm.

He was sent to the Caswell Clinic psychiatric unit in Bridgend.

Recorder of Cardiff, Judge Nicholas Cooke QC said: 'It's a common misconception those suffering from mental illness may be incapable of planning and sophistication of what they may do.

'I accept you hadn't gone so far as to direct explosives and weapons at individuals at the time this was discovered.

'But the nature of your illness means if these circumstances arose again the risk would be serious.

'I don't know when it may be safe if ever to discharge you into the community but when that day comes it's imperative you're subject to robust risk management indefinitely.

Detective Chief Superintendent Ray Wise, of Gwent Police, said: 'It's clear he has a deep-seated dislike for several sections of the community.

'While we will never know the consequences of what might have happened had we not intervened.

'From his writings he displayed hatred and antagonism to large areas of the community, including homosexuals and black people.

'His motivation for manufacturing the substances isn't clear and, despite numerous interviews, it's still not clear.

'But we have real concerns in relation to his intent.'

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...on-garden.html

[Gregoshi]

If you were going to mug a guy, perhaps outside a ninja training centre is not the best place.

Ninjcompoops...

[InsaneApache]

Ninjcompoops...

Indeed. They were numb chakkas that's for sure.

[Hosakawa Tito]

Ninjcompoops...

Indeed. They were numb chakkas that's for sure.

That's twice now the coffee's shot out my nose from laughing. Stop it!

[Gregoshi]

That's twice now the coffee's shot out my nose from laughing. Stop it!

Ninja coffee - nobody nose when it will strike.

[Vladimir]

Mechanic who drove with man on bonnet asks, 'why was I charged?'

“I’ve got a New Zealander on the bonnet of my car. He’s ******* lost it.

[Gregoshi]

That mechanic had a bee in his bonnet about his safety with an angry Kiwi on his bonnet.

[Lemur]

The Montauk Monster Invades Canada



Locals in a small Canadian town have been stumped by the appearance of a bizarre creature, which was dragged from a lake.

The animal, which has a long hairy body with bald skin on its head, feet and face, has prompted wild internet speculation that it is a more evolved version of the famous 'Montauk monster'. Original story

The creature was discovered by two nurses in the town of Kitchenuhmaykoosib in Ontario, Canada, while out on a walk with their dog.

When the dog began sniffing in the lake, the two women started investigating, before the dog pulled the dead animal out.

After taking some photographs of the odd animal, the nurses left it alone. When locals decided to go back and retrieve the body, it has disappeared. [...]

The body of the creature appears to look something like an otter, while its face - complete with long fang-like teeth, bears a striking resemblance to a boar-like animal.

Even the local police chief Donny Morris is baffled, saying: 'What it is, I don't know. I'm just as curious as everyone else.'

[Hosakawa Tito]

The Montauk Monster Invades Canada



Locals in a small Canadian town have been stumped by the appearance of a bizarre creature, which was dragged from a lake.

The animal, which has a long hairy body with bald skin on its head, feet and face, has prompted wild internet speculation that it is a more evolved version of the famous 'Montauk monster'. Original story

The creature was discovered by two nurses in the town of Kitchenuhmaykoosib in Ontario, Canada, while out on a walk with their dog.

When the dog began sniffing in the lake, the two women started investigating, before the dog pulled the dead animal out.

After taking some photographs of the odd animal, the nurses left it alone. When locals decided to go back and retrieve the body, it has disappeared. [...]

The body of the creature appears to look something like an otter, while its face - complete with long fang-like teeth, bears a striking resemblance to a boar-like animal.

Even the local police chief Donny Morris is baffled, saying: 'What it is, I don't know. I'm just as curious as everyone else.'

I read that story from a different online newspaper and they had a second picture that I think reveals what the creature really is.


Kinda looks like someone shaved an otter to make a montauk monster to me.

[Lemur]

Godwin Gets a Fashion Line



The ads show the Fuhrer in a lurid pink uniform, with his swastika armband replaced with one bearing a bright red heart, above the slogan "Change Style – Don't Follow Your Leader". [...]

A city councillor with the centre-Left Democratic Party, Rosario Filoramo, has protested to the mayor of Palermo.

"The use of an image of a person responsible for the worst chapters of the last century is offensive to our country's constitutional principles and to the sensitivities of citizens," he said.

A council official, Fabrizio Ferrandelli, said: "Having Hitler's face on a poster... cannot be passed off as an innocent advertising message. Seeing these posters in front of schools is an embarrassment." But the advertising agency which came up with the idea said critics of the campaign were over-reacting.

[Lemur]

Penis Puppetry. No, Really.



How hard was it learning the tricks?

Not too hard. We started with the simple ones like "The Woman" which is where you just tuck everything between your legs. It's one that every guy has done by himself in the mirror at least once, so that wasn't hard. Then you move up to tricks like "The Hamburger" and just keep building from there.

I think I know a thing or two about "The Woman" but how do you do "The Hamburger"?

That's actually one of the tricks we do during the show, and we bring guys onstage and teach them how to do it too. What you do is you roll your penis between your testicles, then turn the whole thing 90 degrees. Then you squeeze your testicles and it looks like a hamburger.

[Banquo's Ghost]

We started with the simple ones like "The Woman" which is where you just tuck everything between your legs. It's one that every guy has done by himself in the mirror at least once, so that wasn't hard.

If it was, it'd be really challenging.

[Lemur]

Thief Imitates E.T. by Hiding in Pile of Teddy Bears, Fails

EL PASO, Texas - He might have gotten away with it, but for those darn sneakers. An El Paso man running from the law at a carnival was captured when police said they spotted David Caro's sneakers poking out beneath a pile of stuffed teddy bears.

Authorities say Caro was trying to hide after ditching his car during a traffic stop Thursday. Police said Caro had swerved into the path of a motorcycle officer to avoid being pulled over.

Once inside the carnival, police saw Caro's shoes in the stuffed teddy bear pile and arrested him.