News of the Weird [Archive] - Page 11

Lemur

08-18-2008, 15:24

Australian mayor in trouble after begging for ugly women (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7567239.stm).

John Molony told a newspaper last week that "with five blokes to every girl, may I suggest that beauty-disadvantaged women should proceed to Mount Isa".

The council has since been swamped with complaints from both men and women.

But Mr Molony has refused to apologise for the remarks, saying he was "telling it like it is" in the Queensland town. [...]

"Quite often you will see walking down the street a lass who is not so attractive with a wide smile on her face. Whether it is recollection of something previous or anticipation for the next evening, there is a degree of happiness," he said.

"Some, in other places in Australia, need to proceed to Mount Isa where happiness awaits. Really, beauty is only skin deep. Isn't there a fairy tale about an ugly duckling that evolves into a beautiful swan," he added.

Gregoshi

08-18-2008, 20:46

I posted on the day it was posted online, so unless it was posted somewhere else first, I guess it isn't.
But the story is at least two-three weeks old CA. Maybe I'm just remembering it from my Verizon home page, but I swear somebody posted it here at the Org. I'm not sure if it was a NotW or a stand alone thread. Regardless, it's still a great NotW story...Of Bullet Bras and Bulletproof Bras.

Lemur

08-19-2008, 14:20

ShadesPanther

08-19-2008, 15:38

Kid drops out of high school so he can play Guitar Hero!!?? (http://www.newsobserver.com/2766/story/1155589.html)

"We couldn't take the complaining anymore," says Hunter. "He always told me that he thought school was a waste of time."

Why couldn't this of worked for me with Sonic the Hedgehog??

English assassin

08-20-2008, 22:31

The five most implausible sex scenes in the history of fan fiction (http://www.cracked.com/article_16554_5-most-baffling-sex-scenes-in-history-fanfiction.html). I find the Elrond/Picard coupling quite scary, personally.

They drew away after what seemed a lifetime but was only mere minutes. The taste of Elrond's lips still lingered in Picard's mouth as they finally looked upon each other with new eyes. Relieved sighs came from both of them as both embraced, Elrond nuzzling against Picard's neck as he rested against Elrond's shoulder.

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/picard4.jpg

Its good, certainly, but I think Roy Orbison in cling film still leads the pack. http://www.michaelkelly.fsnet.co.uk/karl.htm

Some people may suspect that perhaps this is not entirely serious, and that Ulrich may not exist, but surely Roy Orbison (and cling film) would be too serious to joke about?

Veeeery slightly scarily, I see that this fan fiction seems to be spawning its own fan fiction...

Gregoshi

08-20-2008, 23:05

But Roy Orbison was not a wrapper...

Crazed Rabbit

08-22-2008, 22:45

Truly, Greg, you're the man at puns.

And in other news;
Thinking of starting a virtual relationship with someone you met in Second Life? Don't. (http://cbs3.com/local/kimberly.jernigan.second.2.801089.html)

Also, Ninjas roam the streets of Jersey. (http://cbs3.com/local/ninja.new.jersey.2.800992.html)

CR

Lemur

08-22-2008, 22:46

It's a happy ending (http://www.chicagotribune.com/features/chi-all-ears_22aug22,0,1526837.story) for Yoda, the four-eared cat.

Ted and Valerie Rock found Yoda in 2006 while watching a Bears game at a Blue Island bar with fellow volunteers from the Greater Chicago Food Depository. Patrons were passing the 8-week-old kitten around, mocking his appearance and calling him names such as "Devil Cat" and "Beelzebub."

The Rocks took pity on the kitty and offered to adopt him. The establishment's owner, who kept the cat in a cage atop the bar to amuse patrons, agreed.

Once home, the Rocks named the cat "Yoda" as a tribute to the pointy-eared Jedi master in " Star Wars." They took him to their veterinarian, who gave the cat a clean bill of health and said he had normal hearing.

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/41757655.jpg

Viking

08-22-2008, 23:11

The Norwegian army sure knows how to solve problems. (http://www.nrk.no/nyheter/distrikt/troms_og_finnmark/1.6188292) (Norwegian link; below is an excerpt translated by...me)

For the first time girls and boys are going to share bedrooms at the Sør-Varanger garrison. The administration at the garrison hope that this will lead to less bullying, sexual harassment and spreading of rumours.

Problems

A survey conducted last year showed that many of the female recruits in the Army experienced sexual harassment.

At the same time, an all time high number of girls have been enrolled in the Army's sections this year.

The Army does not think that boys and girls sharing bedrooms could worsen the problems.

[...]

- I have been a bit nervous. We were two girls and six boys sharing the room; but once we got talk together, they appeared to be nice people, says soldier Hanne Teigland Olsen, who would rather share bedroom with boys than with girls only.

- With girls-only rooms, drama could quickly arise. If there's a few boys also, the group will be more mixed. I think that creates a better enviroment.

Hm... :clown:

Evil_Maniac From Mars

08-23-2008, 01:23

Thinking of starting a virtual relationship with someone you met in Second Life? Don't. (http://cbs3.com/local/kimberly.jernigan.second.2.801089.html)

There's a thread at the TWC in the Personal Advice forum by someone who had a friend of his go and meet a guy on Second Life...

Scary stuff...

Gregoshi

08-23-2008, 07:00

And in other news;
Thinking of starting a virtual relationship with someone you met in Second Life? Don't. (http://cbs3.com/local/kimberly.jernigan.second.2.801089.html)

To ease the blow, he should have given her a bouquet of reincarnations when he broke up with her. :flowers:

InsaneApache

08-23-2008, 12:56

An eight-year-old dog has touched the hearts of Argentines by saving the life of an abandoned baby, placing him safely alongside her own new puppies.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7577275.stm

Great stuff. :2thumbsup:

CountArach

08-24-2008, 12:26

More crazy stuff from beyond the grave... (http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/08/24/2344950.htm?section=justin)

Ghost infant and teen 'married' in temple ceremony

A Malaysian infant dead 50 years and a teenager who died of kidney failure three decades ago were "married" at the weekend by a temple medium in a ceremony on the resort island of Penang.

The ghost nuptials come during the month-long Chinese Hungry Ghost festival, where local Chinese believe spirits of the deceased are released from Hell to roam the Earth and when relatives offer them food and take care of their needs to appease the spirits.

In a front page article, the Star Daily reported Chee Yu Quan was married to Cheah Beng Eng in a traditional Chinese tea ceremony where the deceased bride and groom were represented by paper effigies, surrounded by family members.

The bride's mother, Ong Kim Luan, 74 said Cheah expressed her intention to get married during a ceremony at last year's festival, the paper reported.

"We were shocked and doubtful at first. But when we got a telephone call from the temple the following day, telling us that a 'guy' had requested for my daughter's hand through a medium, we knew the request was for real," Ms Ong said.

Ms Ong said the medium told them the couple met in the afterworld two years ago and their relationship bloomed.

She said after the temple contacted Chee's family to tell them of his intention, both families got together to arrange the wedding.

Mr Ong told the paper she was glad to see her daughter tying the knot, even in the afterworld.

"She couldn't pass over and reincarnate as it was her wish to be married. I hope she can be born into a good family and be a healthy and happy person in her next life," Mr Ong said.
Now... about consumating that marriage...

Gregoshi

08-24-2008, 15:26

Yup, spirits were definitely involved in this marriage...

:barrel:

InsaneApache

08-24-2008, 15:52

More ectoplasm than orgasm. :sweatdrop:

Gregoshi

08-24-2008, 16:31

More ectoplasm than orgasm. :sweatdrop:
Is this what they call a gooey interface?

Viking

08-24-2008, 17:31

More ectoplasm than orgasm. :sweatdrop:

How can you say that? With regards to a marriage based upon boners, er, bones?

Conqueror

08-24-2008, 18:28

Better late than never! :skull:

Lemur

08-25-2008, 03:12

Woman suffers through 200 orgasms per day (http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/news/article5651.ece).

She had five orgasms during our 40-minute interview. But I can't take the credit—it was just talking about her sex life that set her off.

Sarah, 24, suffers from Permanent Sexual Arousal Syndrome (PSAS), which increases blood flow to the sex organs.

She said: "Sometimes I have so much sex to try to calm myself down I get bored of it. And men I sleep with don't seem to make as much effort because I climax so easily."

As she chatted, Sarah became increasingly flustered.

"Sorry, you'll have to excuse me for a minute. I'll be with you in a sec," she mumbled before letting out a long sigh. [...]

"The most embarrassing thing that has happened was when I answered a market research questionnaire and had an orgasm in front of the researcher.

"She knew what was happening and looked at me like I was a weirdo. I tried to explain that I couldn't help it, but I was blushing so much I had to walk away."

Gregoshi

08-25-2008, 05:05

Woman suffers through 200 orgasms per day (http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/news/article5651.ece).
She's a comely woman, that's for sure.

Banquo's Ghost

08-25-2008, 09:20

Gregoshi

08-25-2008, 18:55

That squirrel bought a one way ticket to Bern...

Crazed Rabbit

08-25-2008, 20:01

Whilst our attention has been drawn by the growing power of the Octosquid Imperium, we have taken our eye off an ancient, but ever-present threat.

Suicide squirrels attempt to take out communications (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/08/25/squirrel_switzerland_tv/) in Switzerland. Shocking.

Not all of us have turned our gaze from the bushy-tailed enemy.

Also; stunning new college debate team tactics;
http://www.comcast.net/articles/news-odd/20080823/ODD.Debate.Meltdown/

When you give bad news to tae kwon do competitors; stand back. (http://www.nytimes.com/slideshow/2008/08/23/sports/olympics/20080823-OLYPOD_9.html)
http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2008/08/23/sports/24674518.JPG

CR

Papewaio

08-26-2008, 02:43

Whilst our attention has been drawn by the growing power of the Octosquid Imperium, we have taken our eye off an ancient, but ever-present threat.

Suicide squirrels attempt to take out communications (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/08/25/squirrel_switzerland_tv/) in Switzerland. Shocking.

Next gen warfare using organic electron seeking self mobile missiles. Sure is cheaper then using a cruise missile... seems the Swiss militia need a new attachment to their knives... the anti squirrel blade. :laugh4:

Papewaio

08-26-2008, 03:21

Primary school bans cartwheels, handstands (http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/08/26/2346561.htm?section=justin)

A North Queensland primary school has banned cartwheels and handstands in the playground.

I wonder how they are all obese...

Fragony

08-26-2008, 09:32

Oh dangit http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1597631.ece

Lemur

08-27-2008, 04:17

Australian study shows that bondage lovers are as happy and well-adjusted as anyone else. Duh. (http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,24238131-2,00.html)

An unusual sex survey has found that Australians who enjoy bondage and discipline are not damaged or dangerous, and might even be happier than those who practise "normal" sex.

The research showed 2 per cent of adult Australians regularly partake in sadomasochism and dominance and submission-type sexual role play.

And contrary to commonly-held stereotypes, they are not doing so in reaction to sexual abuse or because they are "sexually deficient" in some way, according the study of 20,000 Australians by public health researchers at the University of New South Wales.

"Our findings support the idea that bondage and discipline and sadomasochism (BDSM) is simply a sexual interest or subculture attractive to a minority," Associate Professor Juliet Richters and her colleagues wrote in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. [...]

In fact, men who take part may be happier, with results showing they score significantly lower on a scale of psychological distress than other men.

The researchers did not study why this was, but suspect it might simply be that they're more in harmony with themselves because they're into something unusual and are comfortable with that.

In other words, you don't like spankings? What's wrong with you?

Evil_Maniac From Mars

08-27-2008, 04:19

There was an article in The Globe and Mail that conservatives are generally happier than liberals. I'll try to find the link.

Gregoshi

08-27-2008, 04:31

Australian study shows that bondage lovers are as happy and well-adjusted as anyone else. Duh. (http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,24238131-2,00.html)
And all this time when men talked about "the old ball and chain", I thought they were complaining... :ballchain:

Lemur

08-27-2008, 04:43

There was an article in The Globe and Mail that conservatives are generally happier than liberals. I'll try to find the link.
Crazed Rabbit posted it several pages back. So the happiest possible person would be a reactionary who likes hot wax play, I guess.

-edit-

Man hires hit man to kill his 51-year-old wife. Hitman breaks into their home, waits for her. Wife comes home, kills hitman with her bare hands (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14859827/). Now that's a tough lady.

An emergency room nurse who lives in a southeast Portland neighborhood, Susan Kuhnhausen arrived home on the evening of Sept. 6 to find Haffey coming at her with a claw hammer.

She was struck in the head and wrested the weapon away, but the struggle continued and Haffey bit the nurse, according to police. A large woman, she was eventually able to get the slight Haffey into a chokehold and police later found him dead in a hallway. An autopsy revealed the cause of death as strangulation.

Police say she acted in self-defense.

There was no sign of forced entry into the home, but according to the affidavit, Susan Kuhnhausen offered an explanation for the lack of evidence of a break-in: Her estranged husband had the security codes for the home’s alarm system, and would have been able to disarm it.

Gregoshi

08-27-2008, 14:40

An emergency room nurse who lives in a southeast Portland neighborhood, Susan Kuhnhausen arrived home on the evening of Sept. 6 to find Haffey coming at her with a claw hammer...
Me thinks Haffey took the title "hitman" a little too literally. :smash:

Ronin

08-27-2008, 14:52

talk about an incompetent hitman :laugh4:

I wonder if there´s a "...or your money back" clause in this kind of contracts :yes:

Gregoshi

08-27-2008, 18:45

I wonder if there´s a "...or your money back" clause in this kind of contracts :yes:
Just hubby's luck, his hitman had a "...or your wife back" clause...

Banquo's Ghost

08-27-2008, 19:37

Ahem. I think I may have to ban myself for this one, but it's rather too funny to pass up.

My, that's an enormous cannon (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/08/27/worse_things_happen_at_sea/).

:saint:

Gregoshi

08-27-2008, 21:34

:uhoh:... No...:wall: comment...:wall: :lipsrsealed2:

naut

08-28-2008, 09:03

Well they certainly buggered up that promotion.

Fragony

08-28-2008, 09:55

A brit was even more confused then they normally are, suddenly the password for his bank-account didn't work anymore. His password was 'Lyod sucks', they had changed it to 'no it doesn't' :laugh4:

PBI

08-28-2008, 10:14

Here you go, (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/shropshire/7585098.stm) Frag.

Although, you have pretty much summed up the essence.

Viking

08-28-2008, 18:20

The International Space Station catches computer virus in orbit (http://www.space.com/news/080827-iss-computervirus.html)

A virus designed to swipe passwords from online gamers has inexplicably popped up in some laptop computers aboard the International Space Station.

The low-risk virus was detected on July 25, but did not infect the space station's command and control computers and poses no threat to the orbiting laboratory, NASA officials said.

[...]

According to a NASA planning document obtained by SPACE.com, the worm was identified as W32.Gammima.AG. The California-based retail anti-virus software manufacturer Symantec describes it as a Windows-based worm which spreads by copying itself onto removable media. It is capable of stealing passwords for online games and is classified as a very low risk, according to Symantec's Web site.

Humphries said that while NASA security protocols prohibit discussing details of the virus and efforts to combat it, a search is under way to find out how it got on board the space station more than 200 miles (321 km) above Earth.

"We'll do our best to track down how it got there and close that gateway," Humphries said. "This is not a frequent occurrence but we have had viruses that have made their way on board before."

[...]

Crazed Rabbit

08-28-2008, 19:12

Not your normal protesters at the DNC (and considering the 'normal protesters', that's saying at lot):

http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/660704.html

Dave Barry: On protesters, politics and porn

By DAVE BARRY

DENVER --
I will resume my coverage of the Democratic convention (current theme: ''Yes, It's Still Going On'') as soon as possible, but first I need to address a disturbing issue that we all need to be more disturbed about: bird porn.

Images (of the protesters):
http://media.miamiherald.com/smedia/2008/08/27/14/261-bird_porn_2.standalone.prod_affiliate.56.jpg

http://media.miamiherald.com/smedia/2008/08/27/14/327-leaflet.standalone.prod_affiliate.56.jpg

CR

Caius

08-28-2008, 19:16

Humans want to have the monopolism in porn.

Lemur

08-28-2008, 19:34

Not your normal protesters at the DNC (and considering the 'normal protesters', that's saying at lot):

http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/660704.html

You've been had, CR. One glance at their website (http://www.stopbirdporn.org/) makes it clear that this organization is exactly as serious as The Onion. Sample:

In my area, the bird-watching perverts are truly disgusting. They congregate in large numbers and enjoy their “hobby” on weekends. On more than one occasion, I’ve had to lead my children away from the area, lest they witness this perversion.

Just because these people are old, that doesn’t mean that they aren’t freaks. Getting your “jollies” by watching birds have sex is just SICK! Something needs to be done about this. Our politicians don’t seem to care. Everyone should write a letter to the editor of their local newspaper about this perversity.

-edit-

This guy sums it up:

vile, vile individuals.

where is the ‘donate’ button? my wallet is ready and willing. I can’t wait to watch the hammer of my disposable income sweep the depraved from my area park and/or forest preserve.

FactionHeir

08-29-2008, 02:09

Drowning is cost-efficient (http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2008/08/28/america/NA-Canada-Airline-Life-Vests.php)

Lemur

08-30-2008, 20:54

Dad sent to jail for forcing daughter to kill the family cat (http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/08/29/cat.stabbing.ap/index.html).

A man was sentenced to 18 months in prison after admitting that he forced his 7-year-old daughter to kill the family cat by holding a knife in her hand and making her stab the pet.

"I am extremely sorry for what I did," Danield J. Collins said during his sentencing Thursday. "Everything is my responsibility." [...]

Collins was arrested March 13 after police said he forced his daughter to stab Boots, the family's 8-month-old cat. The girl and Collins' 11-year-old son said their father ordered them to stab the cat because he wanted them to "learn to kill."

Police said the boy tried to hide the cat from his father, but Collins found the animal and strangled it as his children watched.

Collins said he was intoxicated at the time and remembered little about what happened that day.

Lemur

08-31-2008, 03:55

File this under "Ewwwwwwww ...." (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/08/28/david-duchovny-in-rehab-f_n_122268.html)

David Duchovny [...] has entered a rehabilitation facility for sex addiction.

The 48-year-old actor said he did so voluntarily, in a statement released Thursday by his lawyer, Stanton Stein. He added: "I ask for respect and privacy for my wife and children as we deal with this situation as a family."

Just ... ewwww.

Crazed Rabbit

08-31-2008, 04:48

The Michigan Fair: Educational as well as fun! (http://www.wxyz.com/news/local/story.aspx?content_id=506782f1-1978-4871-af30-1905279e91b1)

Also, candy designing: clearly not for everyone (http://www.joeydevilla.com/2008/08/29/hannah-montana-gummi-guitars-even-more-wrong-than-gummi-lighthouses/).

CR

Lemur

08-31-2008, 13:30

Rabbit. Dude. You cannot post that link and not include the graphic.

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/hannah_montana_gummies.jpg

PBI

09-01-2008, 13:18

Australia suffering "man drought" (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/7589382.stm)

CountArach

09-01-2008, 14:27

How could I have forgotten to post that!?

Its good news for me though...

Banquo's Ghost

09-01-2008, 19:43

Nut loses nut but not nuts. (http://news.asiaone.com/News/AsiaOne%2BNews/Malaysia/Story/A1Story20080831-85105.html)

KukriKhan

09-01-2008, 22:01

Director Dr Daud Abdul Rahim said doctors got the nut off at around 11pm on Friday.

Just in time for him to bolt out for 'last call'.

Louis VI the Fat

09-02-2008, 00:17

Nut loses nut but not nuts. (http://news.asiaone.com/News/AsiaOne%2BNews/Malaysia/Story/A1Story20080831-85105.html)Sheesh, how stupid can you be? :no:

Anybody with half a brain knows this doesn't work. Incredible. :wall:

But then, I'm scientific about this sort of stuff. So I know that the only device that does work is my X4labs (http://www.x4labs.com/) enlargement device. I've only been using it for three weeks and already I think I'm noticing progress!!!

Ronin

09-02-2008, 00:53

Sheesh, how stupid can you be? :no:

Anybody with half a brain knows this doesn't work. Incredible. :wall:

But then, I'm scientific about this sort of stuff. So I know that the only device that does work is my X4labs (http://www.x4labs.com/) enlargement device. I've only been using it for three weeks and already I think I'm noticing progress!!!

I think the guy must have been rejected on a firearm check and had to find something else to compensate.

Lemur

09-02-2008, 01:40

I know that the only device that does work is my X4labs (http://www.x4labs.com/) enlargement device.

Mommy, I'm scared:

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/header_r5_c1.jpg

We are the first company to design and offer Comfort Strap Technology, which allows the patient to wear the device for longer periods of time, thus letting you achieve faster results. This 1 inch strap covers more surface area compared to similar devices which use a inch "noose" to hold your member securely in place.

Our Premium Models also include a special 3-in-1 Hybrid Support Piece that allows the user to switch between the Comfort Strap, Customizable Loop Fastener and the Silicone Noose. This gives you the option to choose which of the three various methods of fixation is the most comfortable for you.

Gregoshi

09-02-2008, 03:56

Nut loses nut but not nuts. (http://news.asiaone.com/News/AsiaOne%2BNews/Malaysia/Story/A1Story20080831-85105.html)
Oh, where is Nurse Ratched when you need her?

Gregoshi

09-02-2008, 03:59

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/header_r5_c1.jpg

It is not a Johnson & Johnson product??!

Gregoshi

09-03-2008, 01:21

Oh, where is Nurse Ratched when you need her?
Hello? Is dis mic on? I know you are out dere, I can hear you breathing... Let's try dis again:

So Banquo's Ghost says to me, he says "Nut loses nut but not nuts!"

Den I says, "Hey! Where is Nurse Ratched when you need her?! Bada boom!" :laugh4:

:skull:

Come on people! I'm dyin' here. You know, Nurse Ratched from the movie One Flew Over the Cockoo's Nest...about a bunch of crazy people - you know, "nuts". And Ratched, sounds like ratchet, as ratchet wrench...oh nevermind.

Hey! Look! Juggling! :juggle2:

CountArach

09-03-2008, 07:43

Wow! That was a great joke Greg!

*Brings the house down with applause*

Gregoshi

09-03-2008, 12:48

Thank you CA! Thank you! I'll be here all week - and please don't take that as a threat...

Thanks for the help CA. Here's the money I promised you. :2cents: Don't spend it all in one post. Bada boom!

Conqueror

09-03-2008, 16:04

This is almost too crazy even for News of the Weird: Islamic Scholars Battle Man With 86 Wives (http://allafrica.com/stories/200809020538.html)

There was, however, a twist few weeks ago when the press beamed their searchlight on him, his lifestyle, his wives and children. He was so delighted to give information to the press not knowing that it was the beginning of his trouble. The barrage of reports attracted Islamic leaders, royal fathers, government and security services to the lifestyle of this man who was now seen as a threat or stain to Islam and society.

Baba Bello who reportedly claimed to be very versed in the Holy Qur'an was quoted as saying that he stopped reading the Qur'an as far back as 1972 when he claimed to have been mysteriously hit by a strange wind which made him to have a face to face encounter with Allah which invariably exposed him beyond the scope of reading the holy book.

Masaba had in media interviews boasted that no woman, no matter how beautiful, educated, exposed or old could escape him once he made up his mind to marry her. "All I need to do is just to show my affection and she automatically becomes my wife."

:dizzy2:

Viking

09-03-2008, 17:51

Nut loses nut but not nuts. (http://news.asiaone.com/News/AsiaOne%2BNews/Malaysia/Story/A1Story20080831-85105.html)

Both hospital authorities and the state Fire and Rescue Department were involved in attempts to remove the nut.

This is the second case in the past week involving objects stuck on penises.

On Aug 25, firemen were summoned to the Universiti Malaya Medical Centre in Kuala Lumpur to cut a steel ring from a patient?s penis after numerous attempts by doctors failed to dislodge it.

It is believed the patient, in his 20s, had slipped the ring onto his penis to increase his sexual prowess.

ROTFL

Well, at least we there's always the fire brigade to help you with this sort of trouble :yes:

ShadesPanther

09-04-2008, 17:37

Elephant kicks Heroin addiction (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/7597835.stm)

An Asian elephant that became addicted to heroin after being fed bananas spiked with the drug is to return home after undergoing a detox programme.

The four-year-old animal, called Xiguang, received methadone injections for a year at five times the human dosage, state media said.

It was illegally captured by traders in 2005 in south-west China.

When police arrested the traders and freed the elephant, it was found to be suffering from withdrawal symptoms.

The elephant's eyes kept streaming and he made continuous trumpeting noises, the Beijing News newspaper's website reported.

It is thought that the traders fed the elephant bananas laced with heroin to capture and control it.

Xiguang was sent to a wild animal protection centre on Hainan island in south-west China for rehab, the official Xinhua new agency said

He is expected to arrive at a wildlife park in Kunming, capital of Yunnan province, on Saturday.

The Asian elephant is an endangered species, with only 25,600-32,750 left in the wild, according to the WWF conservation group.

Lemur

09-04-2008, 18:31

Alistair Cooke, the Masterpiece Theatre host, was chopped up and sold for parts (http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/09/02/philly.body.parts.ap/index.html?eref=rss_latest).

The brothers allowed at least 244 corpses to be carved up without families' permission and without medical tests, prosecutors said. Skin, bones, tendons and other parts -- some of them diseased -- were then sold around the country for dental implants, knee and hip replacements, and other procedures.

Some bodies were only torsos by the time the hacking was done, said Assistant District Attorney Evangelia Manos. [...]

Mastromarino's company, New Jersey-based Biomedical Tissue Services, took bodies from funeral homes in New York, New Jersey and Pennsylvania. Among the corpses plundered was that of veteran BBC broadcaster and "Masterpiece Theatre" host Alistair Cooke.

Louis VI the Fat

09-04-2008, 18:50

That's a coincidence. I jut finished watching Alistair Cooke's 'America' on DVD two days ago. Brilliant series. God bless the BBC. The series is 35 years old and it still beats anything that's on tv right now. :2thumbsup:

Come on people! I'm dyin' here. You know, Nurse Ratched from the movie One Flew Over the Cockoo's Nest...about a bunch of crazy people - you know, "nuts". And Ratched, sounds like ratchet, as ratchet wrench...oh nevermind.

Hey! Look! Juggling! :juggle2:Don't quit the juggling job and
It took me forever to figure it out. It took me forever, after the explanation, I mean. But I think I got it at last.

At least, I think I do... :dunce:

Kralizec

09-05-2008, 11:00

Don't want your secret lover to go on a vacation with her "real" spouse? (http://uk.news.yahoo.com/rtrs/20080829/tod-uk-dutch-plane-116e0fe.html)

A telephone threat saying a Dutch holiday flight would be hijacked turned out to be a hoax call by a jealous lover, Dutch news agency ANP reported on Friday.

The plane operated by Dutch budget airline Transavia was due to leave Rotterdam for Bodrum in Turkey on Tuesday but was evacuated after emergency services received a phone call saying it would be hijacked.

The Dutch public prosecutor said on Friday there were no indications that the plane was at real risk, and it was now treating the case as a hoax.

A 31-year-old man held for questioning was released on Friday, but a man and a woman are still being held on suspicion of supplying false information, the prosecutor said on its website.

ANP quoted the lawyer of the released man as saying the hoax call arose out of a love triangle consisting of his client and another man and woman.

KukriKhan

09-05-2008, 13:36

drone

09-05-2008, 16:14

If human junkies 'ignore the elephant in the room', what do elephant junkies 'ignore'?

The monkeys on their backs?

Viking

09-05-2008, 19:01

From a link (http://www.breitbart.tv/html/143463.html)accompanying the article:

Flashback: World’s First ‘No-Scar’ Surgery Done Via The Vagina

AFP: Doctors in eastern France said Thursday they had carried out the world's first "no-scar" surgery, using hi-tech instruments to remove the gallbladder of a 30-year-old patient via her vagina. The operation breaks new ground in minimally invasive surgery, a technique designed to boost post-operative recovery and avoid the emotional impact of scars. Images and soundbites.

:inquisitive:

Who'd guess, here's more :jumping:

Appendix Removed Through Vagina: U.S. First (http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/03/080328135738.htm)

On March 26, 2008, surgeons at UC San Diego Medical Center removed an inflamed appendix through a patient's vagina, a first in the United States. Following the 50-minute procedure, the patient, Diana Schlamadinger, reported only minor discomfort. Removal of diseased organs through the body's natural openings offers patients a rapid recovery, minimal pain, and no scarring. Key to these surgical clinical trials is collaboration with medical device companies to develop new minimally-invasive tools.

Lemur

09-05-2008, 20:13

You said you want a duck stamp (http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/articles/2008/09/04/20080904duck-sex0904-ON.html)? Oh baby, I've got your duck stamp right here -- you wanna touch it?

People calling a federal phone number to order duck stamps are instead greeted by a phone-sex line, due to a printing error the government says would be too expensive to correct.

The carrier card for the duck stamp transposes two numbers, so instead of listing 1-800-782-6724, it lists 1-800-872-6724. The first number spells out 1-800-STAMP24, while the second number spells out 1-800-TRAMP24.

People calling that second number are welcomed by "Intimate Connections" and enticed by a husky female voice to "talk only to the girls that turn you on," for $1.99 a minute.

Gregoshi

09-05-2008, 21:42

People calling a federal phone number to order duck stamps are instead greeted by a phone-sex line...
Oh boy. Wait 'til the callers get the bill...

"No operator, I said 'duck' with a 'd'..."

"Lady, who licks stamps anymore?" <click>

Crazed Rabbit

09-06-2008, 00:37

The dead have come back to life:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2681921/Dead-mans-son-spots-him-on-television-after-eight-years.html

Or, a tale of keystone kops.

CR

Csargo

09-07-2008, 06:31

I'm not sure if this (http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/09/05/capitol.armed.man/index.html) is just pure stupidity or something more sinister.

Husar

09-07-2008, 13:37

I'm not sure if this (http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/09/05/capitol.armed.man/index.html) is just pure stupidity or something more sinister.

It's pretty sinister when the government is taking away freedom like that. :no:

Lemur

09-09-2008, 04:26

Tornadoes. Not a big deal, right? We get them all the time in the Midwest. But how about tornadoes in Siberia? Don't believe me? Here's the video (http://englishrussia.com/?p=2030).

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/1-2.jpg

Vladimir

09-09-2008, 12:33

Britain hid failed spies in Scotland (http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2008/09/07/Britain_hid_failed_spies_in_Scotland/UPI-46891220762036/)

The story is great by itself but this comment is priceless:

And UPI, without a HINT of irony, neglects to check to see if Inverlair Lodge IS NOW UP FOR SALE FOR A MERE million or two sterling!

Are you an American espionage retiree who's botched snatch and grab has cost you access to your dream retirement home in Tuscany? If so, MI5 realty has the perfect getaway for YOU, or other American CIA station chiefs or double agents with a Baronet Peerage, minimum (no parvenu's or Zionists or Knights, please).

Where other Americans will see a Prison, spies will recognize a fully functional domicile where they can enjoy all the Aristocratic amenities they've earned after years of the bourgeois drudgery of Diplomatic immunity. Imagine, NO MORE disproving looks from Marines lacking the wits to defer to the morality of Nations. Imagine! YOU! Spending your golden years golfing with the finest caddies from Scotland's disestablished Highland Regiments (the caddie of choice for discerning Englishmen) amongst the Royal links!

Call today!

:laugh4:

Greg, maybe you could add your genious to this.

Gregoshi

09-09-2008, 14:49

Britain hid failed spies in Scotland (http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2008/09/07/Britain_hid_failed_spies_in_Scotland/UPI-46891220762036/)

And I thought spies were cool. Apparently failed spies are cooler.

Crazed Rabbit

09-09-2008, 20:43

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7607033.stm

Bald-head adverts for NZ airline

The airline seeks bald fliers to use as "cranial billboards"

New Zealand's national airline is looking for bald passengers to head up a new advertising campaign.

The carrier said it wanted 50 passengers to be "cranial billboards" and publicise a new check-in service on their heads.

The fliers will be offered money to have their pates temporarily tattooed with the message.

The airline said it would pay NZ$1,000 (£380; $666) per head, making it easy money for bald frequent fliers.

As if we needed more reason to know this is a bad plan.

CR

Gregoshi

09-09-2008, 21:16

I wish I had a New Zealand Hair Line. I could use the money.

Caius

09-09-2008, 21:30

In ‘ strike ‘ of sex women for lack of water in Turkey
For Universal
09/09/2008 - 09:07 AM
Ankara, Turquía. - The women of a people of the south of Turkey have decided to stop having sexual relations with his husbands in protest as the water absence in the locality, which forces them to transport it from big distances
Ali Riza Ozturk, member of the Commission of Justice of the Turkish Parliament, presented the feminine initiative before the press, and told that when he visited last week the locality of Kirca, in the southern province of Mersis, his wives complained about that the source of the people has no water due to the drought.
The inhabitants of Kirca made sure that the spring, very deep in the last years, dried off and that now they have to transport the water up to his houses from a distance of 13 kilometers.
These modern "lisístratas" criticized that the males of the people do not do anything to settle the problem of the water supplying.

Unbeliable. Sorry, I haven't found this story in english, send link if you have.

Louis VI the Fat

09-09-2008, 22:26

Intruiging. I found another 'sex strike' over water on Turkey. But...another village, and seven years ago. Standard practice in Turkey, or a recurring urban myth?

Link (http://archives.cnn.com/2001/WORLD/europe/08/16/turkey.women/index.html)
Sex ban lifted in Turkish village
August 16, 2001

The drastic action by the women of Sirt appears to have paid off

ANKARA, Turkey -- A group of husbands have breathed a collective sigh of relief after their wives ended a month-long sex boycott.

The women of Sirt, a small village near Antalya on Turkey's southern coast, had launched the bedroom strike in protest at the lack of accessible running water

Caius

09-09-2008, 22:29

Standard practice in Turkey
There was a movie...and since then they started to do it.

Banquo's Ghost

09-10-2008, 07:29

There was a movie...and since then they started to do it.

In that part of the world, this has been an effective strategy for women since, well, forever. Lysistrata (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lysistrata) would have been proud of the sisterhood.

InsaneApache

09-10-2008, 10:30

Gold smugglers get their fingers burnt.

Twice as dense as lead, depleted uranium is the substance left after the most highly radioactive parts are extracted. It is used in armour-piercing ammunition. Contact with the skin is usually not harmful but it can damage kidneys, lungs and other organs if it gets into the body.

The case gave the authorities a conundrum: the law states that only those who deliberately smuggle nuclear materials may be subject to punishment and it was clear that the three men were entirely clueless about true nature of their “treasure”.

:laugh4:

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/asia/article4713498.ece

naut

09-10-2008, 12:42

Haha. :thumbsup:

Hosakawa Tito

09-12-2008, 06:01

Butt Bandit (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/odd_crude_dude). :laugh4: This guy has an interesting sense of humor. I wonder if they're like finger-prints?

Conqueror

09-12-2008, 10:09

He's certainly left an impression.

Lemur

09-12-2008, 14:45

Student auctioning virginity (http://news.aol.com/article/student-auctioning-virginity-at-brothel/169951) to pay for school.

"We live in a capitalist society. Why shouldn't I be allowed to capitalize on my virginity?" she added.

The woman, who has earned a bachelor degree in women's studies and now wants to start a master's degree in marriage and family therapy, is hoping the bidding will hit $1 million. [...]

In a flurry of media interviews and appearances, she admitted that her mother, a fourth grade teacher, does not agree with her decision.

Gee, do ya think?

Ronin

09-12-2008, 15:54

why would anyone pay to have sex with a virgin?....

I mean it´s not like she knows what she´s doing or anything.:laugh4:

InsaneApache

09-12-2008, 17:14

I'll start at a quid. Psst....don't tell the missus. :laugh4:

Gregoshi

09-12-2008, 18:08

Butt Bandit (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/odd_crude_dude). :laugh4: This guy has an interesting sense of humor. I wonder if they're like finger-prints?
Grand cleft arseny at its worse...

Hosakawa Tito

09-12-2008, 20:01

He's certainly left an impression.

:laugh4: That's a Gregoshi-esk quality pun.

Hosakawa Tito

09-12-2008, 20:05

He's certainly left an impression.

:laugh4: That's a Gregoshi-esk quality pun.

Grand cleft arseny at its worse...

:laugh4: And not to be out done^^^...Imagine the suspect line-up down at the police station...:daisy:

Lemur

09-12-2008, 22:47

Aggravated battery on a child? Pshaw! I say any dad is allowed to do this (http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/O/ODD_ANGRY_DAD?SITE=AP&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT) if the situation warrants ...

An angry Deltona father whacked his teenage daughter's boyfriend with a metal pipe after finding the boy naked in his daughter's room. Authorities say the father, 45, didn't even know his daughter had a boyfriend or that the youngster had been sneaking into the home for more than a year.

When he heard noises coming from his daughter's bedroom Thursday morning and saw a stranger standing naked on the girl's bed, he swung a metal pipe. He then chased the teen out the front door and called police.

The boy was taken to the hospital where doctors closed a head wound with staples.

The father was charged with aggravated battery on a child and bonded out on $10,000.

CountArach

09-13-2008, 01:21

Finally a way for us to know (http://hasthelargehadroncolliderdestroyedtheworldyet.com/) if the Hadron Collider has destoryed the world!

Hosakawa Tito

09-13-2008, 01:21

Yeah, I read that earlier today. Any unannounced strangers, especially naked ones in my daughters' bedroom, that I catch in my castle get the same treatment :smash::whip: . I'll beat the rap in court.

Viking

09-13-2008, 11:47

Finally a way for us to know (http://hasthelargehadroncolliderdestroyedtheworldyet.com/) if the Hadron Collider has destoryed the world!

I like the source code.

<script type="text/javascript">
if (!(typeof worldHasEnded == "undefined")) {
document.write("YUP.");
} else {
document.write("NOPE.");
}
</script>

[...]

Crazed Rabbit

09-15-2008, 07:21

A fanatic threatens two women for their religious views (http://www.denverpost.com/commented/ci_10463802?source=commented-news), then gets a butt in the face and may lose his eye.

CR

drone

09-15-2008, 16:19

A fanatic threatens two women for their religious views (http://www.denverpost.com/commented/ci_10463802?source=commented-news), then gets a butt in the face and may lose his eye.

CR

And why behold you the mote that is in your brother's eye, but consider not the beam that is in your own eye?Mote, shotgun butt, same difference. :shrug:

FactionHeir

09-15-2008, 18:50

Virginia Court overturn Spam conviction, calling it unconstitutional:
http://www.pcworld.com/businesscenter/article/151014/court_overturns_virginia_spam_law_conviction.html
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/13/us/13brfs-SPAMLAWSTRUC_BRF.html?partner=rssnyt&emc=rss

The court suggested the Virginia law would outlaw the e-mail publication of the Federalist Papers, a series of articles advocating the ratification of the U.S. Constitution in 1787-88, were they to be first published now. Everett-Church dismissed the comparison of spam to those important historical documents.

"I get the sense that the court is suffering from a poor understanding of how anonymous speech works in the Internet age," Everett-Church said. "I find the court's attempt to compare The Federalist Papers to the likes of penis enlargement e-mails not only wrong-headed but ultimately offensive to the reasons why we have a First Amendment."

The State Supreme Court last February affirmed Mr. Jaynes’s conviction on several grounds but later agreed, without explanation, to reconsider the First Amendment issue. Mr. Jaynes was allowed to argue that the law unconstitutionally infringed on political and religious speech even though all his spam was commercial.

Banquo's Ghost

09-16-2008, 11:31

So that's where the children have gone (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/09/15/innocent_drinks/)...

Vladimir

09-16-2008, 12:49

So that's where the children have gone (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/09/15/innocent_drinks/)...

Even with the apostrophe it's, ugh...

Anyway, I had no idea NAMBLA was...that's just a weird name. :inquisitive:

Gregoshi

09-16-2008, 13:17

So that's where the children have gone (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/09/15/innocent_drinks/)...
Talk about a grossery store... :sick:

FactionHeir

09-16-2008, 13:42

The able unemployed at like cattle - we need to use the cattleprod! (http://uk.news.yahoo.com/afp/20080916/tpl-australia-politics-jobs-offbeat-b034b0a.html)

Lemur

09-16-2008, 14:06

Police taser man for walking his dog in the nude (http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/09/15/ap/strange/main4450930.shtml?source=RSS&attr=_4450930). Is there anything they don't use the taser for these days? Remember when the police used to subdue people the old-fashioned way? Details: "The man was asked what he was doing and told the officer, 'Allah told me to watch a Bruce Willis movie and walk the dog,' McCranie said."

InsaneApache

09-16-2008, 14:43

McCranie said using the Taser was the only way to subdue the man without having to hurt him. The man was then sent for mental-health evaluation and treatment.

He could have asked him to accompany him to the station. Or would that be bare faced cheek? :laugh4:

Gregoshi

09-16-2008, 14:45

Is there anything they don't use the taser for these days?"
He'd had been fine except he mentioned Bruce Willis.

CountArach

09-17-2008, 11:10

I lol'ed at the title (The story isn't bad either):

Dick Smith to look at phone porn images (http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,24361418-2,00.html)

A MAJOR 0electronics retailer is investigating claims pornographic photographs were found on a mobile phone purchased by a student in Cairns.

The university student said she found graphic images of a woman, and another of a man, among 49 photos stored on the display phone she was sold at a Dick Smith Electronics store in the north Queensland city.

"It's sickening to think I've been using this phone near my face when it was used to take all of these photos," the unnamed woman told The Cairns Post.

"What would've happened if that phone was bought by a child?"

Dick Smith Electronics today told AAP it was taking the student's complaint "very seriously" and urged the woman to return the phone to aid its investigation.

Benedict Brook, a spokesman for the retailer, said it had seen a handful of the images in question, and the one or two images that were pornographic were blurry.

"The quantity of the people and the pornographic images is still not clear," he said.

"Obviously, we're taking this very seriously and we're investigating what's happened here.

"The phone they had was a display phone. They're sometimes used by staff to take pictures to show customers how to use them and ... they're supposed to wipe those phones before they are then sold.

"We've talked to all of our staff at the Cairns store to see if there's any information they can help us with.

"We encourage all of our staff to give the phones to customers in as-new condition."

He said the retailer's Queensland manager had met with the student who bought the phone and discussions about compensation were ongoing.
When I buy phones I expect the porn on them to be of a certain quality.

spmetla

09-18-2008, 08:33

Miniskirts prey on Uganda's mentally weak as minister allows loose morals and dress codes to kill (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7621823.stm)

Must be great to come up with headlines for tabloids!

Uganda's ethics and integrity minister says miniskirts should be banned - because women wearing them distract drivers and cause traffic accidents.

Nsaba Buturo told journalists in Kampala that wearing a miniskirt was like walking naked in the streets.

"What's wrong with a miniskirt? You can cause an accident because some of our people are weak mentally," he said.

The BBC's Joshua Mmali in Kampala, the capital, said journalists found the minister's comments extremely funny.

Wearing a miniskirt should be regarded as "indecent", which would be punishable under Ugandan law, Mr Buturo said.

And he railed against the dangers facing those inadvertently distracted by short skirts.

"If you find a naked person you begin to concentrate on the make-up of that person and yet you are driving," he said.

"These days you hardly know who is a mother from a daughter, they are all naked."

Vice list

According to the minister, indecent dressing is just one of many vices facing Ugandan society.

"Theft and embezzlement of public funds, sub-standard service delivery, greed, infidelity, prostitution, homosexuality [and] sectarianism..." he said.

Earlier this year, Kampala's Makerere University decided to impose a dress code for women at the institution, our reporter says.

The miniskirt and tight trousers ban has yet to be implemented, but our correspondent sought the opinions of women on campus about the minister's opinions.

"If one wants to wear a miniskirt, it's ok. If another wants to put on a long skirt, then that's ok," one woman said.

But others had more sympathy with Mr Buturo.

"I think skimpy things are not good. We are keeping the dignity of Africa as ladies and we have to cover ourselves up," one woman, called Sharon, told the BBC.

InsaneApache

09-18-2008, 16:18

Bloody spoilsports! :furious3:

The Saint Hotel in Melbourne has promised a "No Undie Sundie" event over the coming weekend, where woman who remove their underwear and hang it above the bar will receive A$50 ($39) worth of free drinks.

and...

"On the face of it, it looks like an inappropriate liquor promotion and we will be investigating with a view to banning it," Liquor Licensing Victoria director Sue Maclellan told the Herald Sun newspaper.

http://uk.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUKSYD18164220080918?feedType=nl&feedName=ukoddlyenough

It's political correctness gone mad. :laugh4:

Gregoshi

09-19-2008, 05:23

The drinks may be free, but I bet there is a cover charge.

Gregoshi

09-19-2008, 13:46

Welcome to the bar at the Saint Hotel in Melbourne - where cheap drinks can be had for a thong...

CountArach

09-19-2008, 13:53

An update on the Porn phone story...

Porn Phone to go on e-Bay (http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,24366781-26103,00.html)

Gregoshi

09-19-2008, 14:20

An update on the Porn phone story...

Think it will cell?

CountArach

09-19-2008, 14:25

Think it will cell?
It's a tough call.

Vladimir

09-19-2008, 16:02

My God I love Daily Mail. :laugh4:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1057515/How-taxi-Mischa-Barton-pops-dress-London-fashion-show.html

Husar

09-19-2008, 18:46

Outrageous!!!
Noone was supposed to know she looks like a female human being under her dress. :inquisitive:

spmetla

09-19-2008, 19:11

Arrr! A wench like that me and me laddies would smartly take that beauty to the bilge and finish the job.

Crazed Rabbit

09-19-2008, 22:34

https://img255.imageshack.us/img255/332/crazedrabbitgifhq0.gif
Ahoy, maties.

I hear talk of a new course of medicine to cure what ails ye.

And it leads me to this;
Avast, wench, but me nose be clogged like a cannon ready to fire. Could ye aid me? (http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2008/sep/02/research.highereducation)

CR

Lemur

09-20-2008, 04:06

Can't beat the headline: Liquor license suspended after topless 'midget wrestling.' (http://www.pjstar.com/news_state/x859557338/Canton-not-OK-with-topless-wrestling) Only question — why the quotes? Why "midget wrestling"? Was it in some sense not midget wrestling?

The liquor license for a Canton business will be suspended for 60 days because two women wrestled topless at a recent "midget wrestling event."

The penalty is substantial, Mayor Kevin Meade said after the city liquor commission voted unanimously Wednesday to suspend the license for Outskirts Bar and Grill at 725 W. Locust St.

"It's meant to send a message to other businesses in town that this won't be tolerated," Meade said. [...]

First they came for topless midget wrestling, and I said nothing. Then they came for vanilla midget wrestling, and I said nothing. Then they came for "leather dykes drink free on Tuesdays", and I said nothing. Then they came for me, and there was nobody left.

This is how the world ends, not with a bang, but with a topless midget.

Husar

09-20-2008, 08:29

Where's the pic of the topless midget chicks? :inquisitive:

InsaneApache

09-20-2008, 12:34

I have to grapple with the notion of midgets wresting. I mean no one twisted their arm to do it. It puts my mind in a spin to get to grips with it. Should I throw the towel in or just ring in the changes?

Any way that's about the long and short of it.

Fragony

09-20-2008, 14:29

Ok, I can see what Tribes means when it comes to some alarmist newspapers in England :dizzy2:

http://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/view/51652/Now-it-could-be-football-fatwa/

Title and story aren't really in concert with eachother, this is quite rediculous.

Gregoshi

09-20-2008, 15:31

It's a tough call.
Brilliant! :laugh4:

Re: topless midget wrestling - does it really mat her?

Banquo's Ghost

09-20-2008, 16:15

Re: topless midget wrestling - does it really mat her?

:laugh4:

Of course it does. The importance of midget wrestling policy dwarfs other politics.

Gregoshi

09-20-2008, 18:18

Of course it does. The importance of midget wrestling policy dwarfs other politics.
But the coverage of topless midget wrestling just isn't here in the Backroom. You'd think such a topic would take off.

Viking

09-20-2008, 20:52

But the coverage of topless midget wrestling just isn't here in the Backroom. You'd think such a topic would take off.

Well, the naked truth might be just too naked for some.

Fragony

09-20-2008, 21:50

Bit of a bald ass humption

Crazed Rabbit

09-21-2008, 08:19

Perhaps after this incident (http://www.dispatch.co.za/article.aspx?id=249750) he won't drink so much.

Key Phrase:

Medical staff at the hospital, where the spike was removed, said Pasiwe had suffered severe rectal and intestinal injuries .

Who knows, maybe even that didn't get the point across.

CR

Lemur

09-21-2008, 16:01

I really, really love my new home state.

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/sign1_799585i.jpg

InsaneApache

09-23-2008, 03:55

Tragic but still very weird...

It was the ultimate expression of road rage. A furious woman driver died after ramming another vehicle and spinning her wheels so fast that her own car burst into flames.

Serena Sutton-Smith, 54, burnt to death after refusing to get out of her Vauxhall Nova as she sat with her foot flat on the accelerator.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article4804007.ece

She was probably a bit old to qualify for a Darwin award but still....:wall:

Crazed Rabbit

09-23-2008, 19:53

Tis not often that two friends keep a promise they made 32 years ago. Especially when that promise is a bit odd... (http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=794171)

CR

Louis VI the Fat

09-23-2008, 20:21

Tragic but still very weird...

Tis not often that two friends keep a promise they made 32 years ago.What a striking dissimilarity.

Three people in their early fiftees. One ending in a very sad way. Not suicide, not an accident. Just burning herself away in a rage, like a match that begs for more oxygen just to burn off faster.

And two who give themselves to joy and playfullness, fulfilling a youthfull promise.

My oh my, what does life do to people? :inquisitive:

InsaneApache

09-24-2008, 03:02

My oh my, what does life do to people?

Amen to that brother.

Lemur

09-24-2008, 20:28

Another one for my "Ewwwwww!" file:

PETA Urges Ben & Jerry's To Use Human Breast Milk (http://www.wptz.com/news/17539127/detail.html)

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals sent a letter to Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, cofounders of Ben & Jerry's Homemade Inc., urging them to replace cow's milk they use in their ice cream products with human breast milk, according to a statement recently released by a PETA spokeswoman. [...]

PETA officials say a move to human breast milk would lessen the suffering of dairy cows and their babies on factory farms and benefit human health.

"The fact that human adults consume huge quantities of dairy products made from milk that was meant for a baby cow just doesn't make sense," says PETA Executive Vice President Tracy Reiman. "Everyone knows that 'the breast is best,' so Ben & Jerry's could do consumers and cows a big favor by making the switch to breast milk."

drone

09-24-2008, 21:21

I saw that yesterday and, being the geek that I am, immediately wondered about the logistics of such a request. Thousands of post-natal women hooked up to milking machines to supply the quantities necessary. Dietary management to keep the quality and taste consistent and safe. Health screening for infectious diseases. The list goes on. I can only imagine how hard B&J busted out laughing at this. :laugh4:

Lemur

09-24-2008, 21:23

Mmm, also, human beings take all sorts of medications that cows do not, many of which get passed through to their milk. Just imagine trying to sort out which mommy was on which anti-depressant before hooking her up to the milking machine.

When did PETA get so loony? I'm old enough to remember when they were more about cat shelters and neutering pets. When did they jump the shark?

Crazed Rabbit

09-24-2008, 21:58

When they took puppies from shelters and killed them? When they had the bloody 'Your mommy kills bunnies' poster made to give out to kids?

Anyways, a more light-hearted bit of news that proves Catholics have better sense of humor than Presbyterians ( ~;p ) :

(Yes, I'm well aware it could be a fake)

https://img254.imageshack.us/img254/5365/collegehumor682700b54b5la3.jpg

CR

Gregoshi

09-24-2008, 22:46

PETA Urges Ben & Jerry's To Use Human Breast Milk (http://www.wptz.com/news/17539127/detail.html)

Would you like your ice cream in a cone:

https://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h12/gbresslr/Org%20Pictures/conebra.jpg

or a cup?

https://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h12/gbresslr/Org%20Pictures/Bra.jpg

seireikhaan

09-25-2008, 01:48

spmetla

09-26-2008, 01:09

Crazed Rabbit FTW!

Lemur

09-26-2008, 02:39

Of course, the only problem with Crazed Rabbit's pikkies is that according to Catholic theology, dogs do not have souls. They are admitted to heaven only as a comfort for their human owners. So if you have a dog you don't like, no heaven. And if a dog has no human master, no heaven. 'Cause they're soulless.

I would go on but this is maybe too silly.

Crazed Rabbit

09-26-2008, 02:45

Will you stop ruining our fun with your lousy reality?

CR

Gregoshi

09-26-2008, 03:00

...according to Catholic theology, dogs do not have souls.
According to Cat-holic dogma?

Fragony

09-26-2008, 11:48

Strongly build they are these swedish chicks.

This is pretty ehhhhhhhhhhh

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7636577.stm

ShadesPanther

09-26-2008, 16:42

Yar this be a fine haul of booty! (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/7637257.stm)

Somalia's pirates seize 33 T-72 tanks

A Ukrainian ship seized by pirates off the coast of Somalia was carrying 33 tanks and other weapons, the Ukrainian defence minister has confirmed.

Earlier, the country's foreign ministry said the ship had a crew of 21 and was sailing under a Belize flag to the Kenyan port of Mombasa.

There has been a recent surge in piracy off the coast of Somalia.

Russia announced on Friday it would start carrying out regular anti-piracy patrols in the waters off Somalia.

A navy spokesman said a warship had been sent to the area earlier this week and the aim of the deployment was to protect Russian citizens and ships.

Somalia has not had an effective national government for 17 years, leading to a collapse of law and order both on land and at sea.

Somali pirates are currently holding more than a dozen hijacked ships in the base in Eyl, a town in the semi-autonomous region of Puntland.

It was not immediately clear where the Ukrainian ship had been taken.

Speed boats

The Ukrainian foreign ministry said the captain of the Faina cargo ship had reported being surrounded by three boats of armed men on Thursday afternoon

Defence Minister Yury Yekhanurov confirmed that 33 Russian T-72 tanks and "a substantial quantity of ammunition" were aboard.

He said all the weapons had been sold in compliance with international agreements, according to a Ukrainian news agency.

The cargo's final destination was unclear, with reports suggesting either Kenya or south Sudan.

Security analyst Knox Chitiyo told the BBC the incident showed that the waters off Somalia's coast had "become a global security problem".

"Piracy has become big business and there seems to be no concerted response to the problem," said Mr Chitiyo, from the London-based Royal United Services Institute.

Last week, France circulated a draft UN resolution urging states to deploy naval vessels and aircraft to combat piracy in the area.

France has intervened twice to free French sailors kidnapped by pirates. Commandos freed two people whose boat was hijacked in the Gulf of Aden earlier this month.

After an earlier raid in April, six arrested pirates were handed over to the French authorities for trial.

International navies have been escorting humanitarian deliveries to Somalia, where a third of the population needs food aid.

Flourishing industry

Pirates have seized dozens of ships from the major shipping routes near Somalia's coast in recent months.

Senior UN officials estimate the ransoms they earn from hijacking ships exceed $100m (£54m) a year.

A Canadian sailor patrols in a helicopter off Somalia, 17 September 2008
International navies have been escorting aid deliveries

Pirate "mother ships" travel far out to sea and launch smaller boats to attack passing vessels, sometimes using rocket-propelled grenades (RPGs).

Authorities in Somalia's semi-autonomous region of Puntland say they are powerless to confront the pirates, who have been growing in strength.

In Eyl, where ships are held for ransom, a flourishing local industry has developed.

Insurgents in Somalia, not known to have links to the pirates, are currently battling a combination of government troops, their Ethiopian allies and African Union peacekeepers in Mogadishu and other parts of southern Somalia.

The US has an anti-terror task force based in neighbouring Djibouti and has carried out several air strikes against the Islamic insurgents, accusing them of sheltering al-Qaeda operatives.

drone

09-26-2008, 18:27

Two cases of medical mishaps:

Man Sues Doctors After Penis Amputated (http://www.wlky.com/health/17550187/detail.html)

LOUISVILLE, Ky. -- A Shelby County man and his wife said two doctors amputated the man's penis without his consent, and have filed a lawsuit.

According to the lawsuit, Philip Seaton, 61, went to have a circumcision last October as part of treatment for a medical condition. Seaton said when he woke up from the procedure, he realized his penis had been amputated.

Seaton has suffered mental anguish, pain, and has lost the enjoyment of life, according to the lawsuit.
and

Man sues Md. doctor, says butt stapled shut (http://www.baltimoreexaminer.com/local/crime/Man_sues_Md_doctor_says_butt_stapled_shut_.html)
BALTIMORE – A man alleging a Maryland doctor stapled his rectum shut during an operation — causing him to go without defecating for 17 days — took his federal lawsuit to trial Monday in Baltimore.

Ronald Watkins, 64, of West Virginia, is suing Manuel Casiano, a doctor in Frederick County, for allegedly botching a 2004 surgery that left Watkins with permanent bowel problems.

“The reason for suing Dr. Casiano is very simple: His rectum was stapled shut,” said Julia Lodowski, who with attorney Emily Malarkey is representing Watkins and his wife, Brenda.

Lodowski told jurors in U.S. District Court that Watkins now experiences “rectal discharge” and needs to wipe himself between 12 and 15 times a day.

spmetla

09-26-2008, 19:06

Goes to show that doctors shouldn't take shortcuts.

Gregoshi

09-26-2008, 21:33

Man sues Md. doctor, says butt stapled shut (http://www.baltimoreexaminer.com/local/crime/Man_sues_Md_doctor_says_butt_stapled_shut_.html)
Spackle works better I'd think.

Marshal Murat

09-27-2008, 03:56

Seriously? (http://www.wnbc.com/news/17564120/detail.html)

That's when the teller apparently expressed her crime-fighting skepticism.

Conqueror

09-27-2008, 10:46

Chinese news agency reports the successful launch of Shenzhou VII rocket... hours before the actual launch (http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,24406109-23109,00.html)

On Thursday morning, Xinhua posted a story on its website saying the Shenzhou capsule had been successfully tracked flying over the Pacific Ocean even though the rocket and its three astronauts had not yet been launched.

The article, dated September 27, described the rocket in flight, complete with a sharply detailed dialogue between the three astronauts.

KukriKhan

09-28-2008, 20:23

Seriously? (http://www.wnbc.com/news/17564120/detail.html)

CENTEREACH, N.Y. -- Police said a bank teller in suburban New York had a simple question for a would-be robber: Are you serious?

Hey, that's Gawain's hometown.

FactionHeir

09-29-2008, 16:27

Too hot for you (http://uk.news.yahoo.com/skynews/20080929/tuk-chef-dies-after-hot-chilli-dare-45dbed5.html)

Abokasee

09-29-2008, 16:41

Few I thought they where going to breast feed injured puppies.

Lemur

10-01-2008, 02:22

It's been a while since I ran across a news item so clearly destined (http://guanabee.com/2008/09/woman-dressed-as-cow-makes-bes.php) for NotW:

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/michelle_allen_93008-thumb.jpg

32-year-old Michelle Allen of Middleton, Ohio was just minding her business, urinating on a neighbor’s porch while dressed as a cow, when cops told her to please go home. Later that day, cops were called once again as Allen was blocking traffic and chasing terrified children. It was at this point that cops went ahead and decided to arrest her.

I'll get in ahead of Gregoshi and ponder why she was so udderly confused. I guess she did it 'cause she cud.

CountArach

10-01-2008, 02:36

Greg is going to milk this one for all it's worth.

Gregoshi

10-01-2008, 03:13

Greg is going to milk this one for all it's worth.
You'd think so, wouldn't you? :laugh4:

KukriKhan

10-01-2008, 14:05

Middleton is just outside Cinncinnati - we outta ask Sasaki Kojiro about this one. For all we know, Monday was Moo-day there and everyone dressed up as farm animals... Isn't this where Jerry Springer was once Mayor? Perhaps she was just trying out for the show?

And "smelling of alcohol"? C'mon: who'd do such while sober? I'd need at least half a bottle of Jack to put on the suit, much less walk around in public. :laugh4:

Lemur

10-01-2008, 15:13

Chuck Norris Area man punches shark (http://www.miamiherald.com/news/5min/story/707023.html) to rescue his dog.

Greg LeNoir watched in horror as the shark's mouth opened wide, chomping a large set of teeth on his beloved 14-pound dog, Jake.

''Noooooo,'' LeNoir shrieked, fearing the worst. [...]

Jake, a 28-month-old dog adopted from an animal shelter, unexpectedly encountered the shark, which was about five feet long. As Jake disappeared under the water, LeNoir conquered his own fear and sprang to action.

''I clenched my fists and dove straight in with all my strength, like a battering ram,'' LeNoir, 53, said Sunday, reliving the frightening ordeal. ``I hit the back of the shark's neck. It was like hitting concrete.'' [...]

The shark let go of Jake, and the dog popped to the surface, frantically swimming the few yards to shore. LeNoir followed, paddling through a red trail of blood from the dog.

At VCA Upper Keys Animal Hospital in Islamorada, veterinarian Suzanne Sigel and emergency on-call assistant Callie Cottrell patched Jake's wounds.

''Amazingly, he wasn't critical,'' Sigel said. ``He's one lucky dog.''

The shark's teeth punctured Jake's skin and some muscle on the dog's abdomen, chest and back in a pattern that looked like ''an upside-down smile,'' Sigel said.

Jake also suffered lacerations on his right side and front left leg, with skin hanging like ribbons, LeNoir said.

''The shark put almost all of Jake in his mouth, except for his head and three of his legs,'' LeNoir said.

Sigel reexamined Jake on Monday and said the pooch is expected to recover.

KukriKhan

10-01-2008, 15:53

Beirut would have loved that story.

So do I.

Gregoshi

10-01-2008, 17:01

This thread has just punched the shark...

Viking

10-01-2008, 17:43

Llamas ruin graveyard (http://www.nrk.no/nyheter/distrikt/hedmark_og_oppland/1.6242333)

I'm afraid I have no English source for this, but the picture speaks for itself. :laugh4:

https://img110.imageshack.us/img110/7276/img650x367rp8.jpg

The priest and inhabitans of Engerdal [Eastern Norway] despair as llamas take their share of gras and flowers in the local graveyard.

[...]

The beasts come from a farm that lies a few kilometre north of the graveyard. Farmer and owner of the llamas, John Nygård, understands that people are angry.

According to Nygård, it's young males that flee because they are chased off by the head male who wants the females for himself.

CountArach

10-02-2008, 00:44

that story couldn't get any llamer.

naut

10-02-2008, 02:58

that story couldn't get any llamer.
Alpac-up your stuff and get your coat CA.

Lemur

10-02-2008, 03:02

Alpac-up your stuff and get your coat CA.
You have no idea how long I spent trying to come up with a pun involving the word "alpaca." Damn your eyes, sir!

Crazed Rabbit

10-02-2008, 03:09

A bit woolly headed there, Lemur?

CR

Gregoshi

10-02-2008, 03:22

But has a llama bin sodom-ized in Norway? Inquiring minds want to know.

InsaneApache

10-02-2008, 13:39

http://www.wordmagazine.co.uk/content/when-hardeep-met-les

The words 'Partridge' and 'Alan' may spring to mind, although not necessarily in that order.

:laugh4:

Gregoshi

10-02-2008, 14:22

Does Les Ross speak any english? The words sounded english but I could hardly follow anything he was saying. Of course, neither could Hardeep apparently...

Lemur

10-02-2008, 14:45

Radioactive scorpion venom (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/main.jhtml?xml=/earth/2008/10/01/scivenom101.xml) could be used to fight brain cancer. Side-effects may include nausea, skin rash, and super powers.

Radioactive scorpion venom sounds like the ultimate poison but it is now being tested as a treatment for malignant brain cancer.

Scientists have discovered that a non-toxic extract from the venom seeks out and locks onto malignant cells after it is injected into the body.

By irradiating it before it goes in the body it can be used to target the cancer cells with killer radiation but at the same time leave the healthy cells unharmed.

The scorpion Leiurus quinquestriatus lives in the Middle East and among the powerful cocktail of neurotoxins packed into its venom is a peptide that is non-toxic to humans but binds to tumour cells.

P.S.: Spider venom (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/main.jhtml?xml=/earth/2008/09/16/scivenom116.xml) could be used in impotence treatment.

Banquo's Ghost

10-02-2008, 15:30

Farmyard sex crimes (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/religion/3122232/Archbishop-Peter-Akinola-cites-sheep-sex-arrest-as-proof-of-Britains-moral-decline.html) demonstrate UK's moral decline, according to archbishop.

The incident to which Dr Akinola referred involved a man who lives in Dulwich being arrested on suspicion of carrying out a series of sex attacks on sheep at a farm in Bromley earlier this year. The attacks left two animals dead and several others traumatised.

Now, no bashing of the bishop over this. :stunned:

Banquo's Ghost

10-02-2008, 15:35

And Tribesman, stout fella, this one's for you (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/3121465/Cooking-With-Balls-Worlds-first-testicle-recipe-book.html).

:bow:

Gregoshi

10-02-2008, 15:37

That man from Dulwich just needs to get into a stable relationship.

Viking

10-02-2008, 17:21

Virgin Galactic Rejects Million-Dollar Offer to Film Sex Video (http://www.space.com/news/081002-virgingalactic-rejected-sexvideo.html)

GLASGOW, Scotland — The private company planning to take wealthy tourists to the edge of the atmosphere starting in late 2009 or early 2010 has refused a million-dollar proposal to film a sex video while the participants are floating gravity free, the company's president said.

Will Whitehorn, president of Virgin Galactic, said the offer, from an unidentified party, "was $1 million, up front, for a sex-in-space movie. That was money we had to refuse, I'm afraid."

Whitehorn disclosed the rejected transaction here Sept. 30 during the International Astronautical Congress. He said Virgin Galactic, part of Richard Branson's Virgin Group, is planning to begin flights of the WhiteKnightTwo aircraft in late 2009 or early 2010 from Sierra County, N.M.

[...]

Well, they do after all have a name to live up to..

Conqueror

10-02-2008, 19:10

Clearly they don't listen to Zlad... (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lp_PIjc2ga4)

Viking

10-02-2008, 19:20

Clearly they don't listen to Zlad... (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lp_PIjc2ga4)

I think so too now. Definately. :laugh4:

Crazed Rabbit

10-03-2008, 20:18

It's not often that robbers make NOTW for successful robberies, but this fellow, who made use of an inner tube and craiglist ads to make a clean getaway, has:
http://www.king5.com/topstories/stories/NW_100108WAB_monroe_robber_floating_escape_TP.ce3930c1.html

CR

Kralizec

10-03-2008, 20:59

Thought I'd post this here instead of in the Election thread. I wonder if it's serious :inquisitive:

http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sfv/adg/836109998.html

Gregoshi

10-03-2008, 21:11

Thought I'd post this here instead of in the Election thread. I wonder if it's serious :inquisitive:

"No anal"? It's not a political film then. :inquisitive:

Lemur

10-03-2008, 21:31

It's Christmas in October — the igNobels (http://www.reuters.com/articlePrint?articleId=USTRE49200220081003) are out!

A researcher who figured out that Coke explodes sperm and scientists who discovered that people will happily eat stale chips if they crunch loudly enough won alternative "Ig Nobel" prizes Thursday.

Other winners included physicists who found out that anything that can tangle, will tangle and a team of biologists who ascertained that dog fleas jump farther than cat fleas. [...]

Deborah Anderson of Boston University Medical Center and colleagues were awarded the chemistry prize for a 1985 study published in the New England Journal of Medicine that found Coca-Cola kills sperm.

She said she was serious in testing the soft drink because women were using it in a douche as a contraceptive and, later, to try to protect themselves from the AIDS virus.

"It definitely wouldn't work as a contraceptive because sperm swims so fast," Anderson said. But Coke made with sugar quickly kills sperm, she said, probably because sperm soak it up. "The sperm just kind of explode," she said in a telephone interview.

It kills the AIDS virus too, she said.

The Ig Nobel committee made up a "nutrition prize" to go to Massimiliano Zampini of the University of Trento, Italy and Charles Spence of Britain's Oxford University, who tricked people into thinking they were eating fresh potato chips by playing them loud, crunching sounds when they bit one.

The biology prize goes to a French team that found dog fleas can jump higher than cat fleas, while the medicine prize was awarded to a team at Duke University in North Carolina who showed that high-priced placebos work better than cheap fake medicine.

Dorian Raymer of the Scripps Institution in San Diego and a colleague won the physics prize for demonstrating mathematically why hair or a ball of string will inevitably tangle itself in knots.

The peace prize was given to the Swiss Federal Ethics Committee on Non-Human Biotechnology for adopting the legal principle that plants have moral standing and dignity.

A team at The University of Sao Paulo in Brazil won a special archaeology prize for showing how an armadillo can mess up an archaeological dig.

The economics prize went to researchers at the University of New Mexico who learned that a professional lap dancer earns bigger tips when she is most fertile, while David Sims of Cass Business School in London won the literature prize "for his lovingly written study 'You Bastard: A Narrative Exploration of the Experience of Indignation within Organizations'," the committee said.

Kralizec

10-03-2008, 21:33

The peace prize was given to the Swiss Federal Ethics Committee on Non-Human Biotechnology for adopting the legal principle that plants have moral standing and dignity.

:laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4:

Gregoshi

10-03-2008, 21:37

The peace prize was given to the Swiss Federal Ethics Committee on Non-Human Biotechnology for adopting the legal principle that plants have moral standing and dignity. :laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4:
You have develop a sense of dignity when you grow up in manure.

Fragony

10-04-2008, 09:25

Talk about overdoing it http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/7651231.stm

CountArach

10-04-2008, 13:17

Thought I'd post this here instead of in the Election thread. I wonder if it's serious :inquisitive:

http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sfv/adg/836109998.html
And yet - no Dick Cheney porn...

Fragony

10-04-2008, 20:32

I would definatily do Palin and there is nothing weird about that.

Gregoshi

10-04-2008, 21:07

I would definatily do Palin and there is nothing weird about that.
Alaska, but Juneau what her answer will be.

This is a stretch, so here's some help:

Alaska = I'll ask her
Juneau = You know

Marshal Murat

10-04-2008, 22:29

Palin does have an open drilling policy.

Gregoshi

10-04-2008, 23:08

Palin does have an open drilling policy.
But with her stance on weak or no environmental protection, it could be a risky proposition.

CountArach

10-06-2008, 02:16

Man has a brush with death (http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,24452352-662,00.html)

A JETSTAR plane leaving Darwin had to turn around and land after a passenger stabbed himself with a weapon made from a toothbrush.
Seriously - most incompetent hijacker ever?

Gregoshi

10-06-2008, 06:20

Man has a brush with death (http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,24452352-662,00.html)

Seriously - most incompetent hijacker ever?

They should give him a plaque.

Conqueror

10-06-2008, 07:10

Although he took off from Darwin, he still fell short of the award.

CountArach

10-06-2008, 09:36

Although he took off from Darwin, he still fell short of the award.
:laugh4:

naut

10-06-2008, 11:26

I don't want to flossiphise, but that'll be one sore, sore cavity. Hell, the flight would have been nervy too, no doubt the passengers would have had to brace themselves. I'm very glad the crew was drilled in this sort of thing.

King Henry V

10-06-2008, 11:28

Virgin Galactic Rejects Million-Dollar Offer to Film Sex Video (http://www.space.com/news/081002-virgingalactic-rejected-sexvideo.html)

Well, they do after all have a name to live up to..

Like this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiP8rM1ZWD8)?

Dutch_guy

10-06-2008, 13:09

InsaneApache

10-06-2008, 13:58

Two teaching assistants at a school in Leeds were taken to hospital after eating cannabis in "hash cakes" given to them by a 15-year-old pupil.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/west_yorkshire/7654606.stm

A whole definition of 'high' school. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it! :laugh4:

Lemur

10-06-2008, 14:17

Man Shoots Himself in Arm After Being Denied Sex (http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/10/02/ap/strange/main4496018.shtml?source=RSS&attr=_4496018)

Authorities say a Fort Myers man shot himself in the arm after his girlfriend refused to have sex with him. The Lee County Sheriff's Office reported that a 29-year-old man and his girlfriend returned home from a bar early Wednesday morning.

The girlfriend told deputies that her boyfriend wanted to get intimate, but she just wanted to go to sleep. When she refused, he became irate.

Authorities said the girlfriend went to a spare bedroom, and several minutes later she heard two gunshots. She told deputies her boyfriend came into her room and threatened her. He then stumbled into the kitchen before falling into the oven, knocking himself unconscious.

The man was treated for two gunshot wounds to the arm and was taken to jail.

Fragony

10-06-2008, 14:19

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/west_yorkshire/7654606.stm

A whole definition of 'high' school. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it! :laugh4:

lol I pulled that one as well :beam:

Gregoshi

10-06-2008, 14:23

naut

10-06-2008, 16:26

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/west_yorkshire/7654606.stm

A whole definition of 'high' school. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it! :laugh4:
I hope the school takes a strong line of action.

Banquo's Ghost

10-06-2008, 16:38

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/west_yorkshire/7654606.stm

A whole definition of 'high' school. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it! :laugh4:

I hope the school takes a strong line of action.

I imagine they will find who grassed on her and weed them out.

naut

10-06-2008, 16:45

I imagine they will find who grassed on her and weed them out.
I'm not so sure, they'll probably make a complete hash of it.

Lemur

10-07-2008, 21:45

Finally a medical manufacturer has woken up to the market for artificial foreskins (http://www.boingboing.net/2008/10/06/artificial-foreskin.html). About time!

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/SenSlip_improved.jpg

The SenSlip range of artificial retractable foreskins is available in different sizes, to allow for variation between individuals. With ten sizes we want you to be fitted correctly right from the start. (See fitting chart)

-edit-

For Gregoshi, I'll just say that this is the tip of a growing market that I hope they can cover, if they're circumspect.

Craterus

10-07-2008, 21:50

I'm not so sure, they'll probably make a complete hash of it.

They should definitely attempt to keep tabs on them.

For Gregoshi, I'll just say that this is the tip of a growing market that I hope they can cover, if they're circumspect

It'll be important for them to stay a-head of their competitors.

Lemur

10-07-2008, 22:27

Georgia election turns out to be more than the usual smoke and mirrors. I guess it's more smoke and snakes (http://www.wsbtv.com/politics/17640271/detail.html).

The Georgia Bureau of Investigation confirmed Monday it is investigating allegations involving a Cobb County commissioner and voodoo.

A woman who practices voodoo in South Carolina claims commissioner Annette Kesting wanted her to put a curse on the opponent who defeated Kesting in August.

The voodoo priestess, George Ann Mills of Blythewood, S.C., filed a report with Cobb County police claiming Kesting's checks for the ceremony bounced.

Kesting was soundly defeated in mid-August, and according to the voodoo priestess she wanted challenger Woody Thompson to either develop cancer or be involved in a car wreck.

The woman claims Kesting gave her pictures of Thompson and wrote her $3,000 worth of checks, but those checks bounced.

The voodoo rituals were apparently never performed.

Marshal Murat

10-08-2008, 01:06

Mr. Gay eats meat. (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1070290/Former-Mr-Gay-UK-slit-boyfriends-throat-marinated-diced-flesh-fresh-herbs.html)

naut

10-08-2008, 10:36

Mr. Gay eats meat. (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1070290/Former-Mr-Gay-UK-slit-boyfriends-throat-marinated-diced-flesh-fresh-herbs.html)
Distasteful.

Lemur

10-08-2008, 19:19

You really have to be careful about saying "Eat me."

What is it with cops and tasers? Seems like they'll shoot anyone and anything for any reason whatsoever. I don't remember them being this trigger-happy when it was nightclubs and pistols.

Police taser sheep blocking traffic. (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1068955/Baa-Outrage-police-officer-blasts-runaway-sheep-Taser-gun.html)

Motorist Mark Faulkes, 47, of Flint, said his 13-year-old daughter Amy was 'very distressed' when she witnessed the sheep being stunned on the A55 near Bodelwyddan.

He said: 'We came across a traffic jam and we saw there was a sheep in the road.

'Everyone had stopped their cars and a few people had got out and were trying to herd the sheep away from the carriageway.

'The police then arrived and they went towards the sheep but it moved away from them.

'Then one of the officers got out his Taser gun and fired it at the sheep. Then he carried it to the side of the carriageway.

'Amy was very distressed. I don't know if the sheep was alright. When we left, it was lying by the side of the road, shaking.

'I thought it was excessive to use a Taser on a defenceless sheep.

'It could have been directed away from the road without using such force and they didn't even try to herd it.'

Sheila Stewart, the owner of an animal rescue centre in nearby Padeswood said: 'I think the use of a stun gun is excessive.

'It is not difficult to herd a sheep to the side of the road or through a gateway back into a field.

Crazed Rabbit

10-08-2008, 21:39

Louis VI the Fat

10-08-2008, 22:41

Remember that guy who's girlfriend spent two years sitting on a toilet before finally becoming stuck to it, and her boyfriend 'pleaded no contest to a misdemeanor count of mistreatment of a dependent adult'? That boyfriend just won the lottery.

Twice.
(http://www.ksallink.com/?cmd=displaystory&story_id=5971&format=html)
CRWhat!? ~:confused:

Gah! I went to school, I work, I'll have kids someday and then I'll die.
And this daisy has a life right out of a Hollywood movie.

It's just not fair! :shame:

Crazed Rabbit

10-08-2008, 22:51

He's probably got Irish ancestry too.

CR

Lemur

10-08-2008, 22:59

And this daisy has a life right out of a Hollywood movie.

It's just not fair! :shame:
In fairness, his total winnings are somewhere around $40k according to the article, so I don't think he'll be living off that for the rest of his life. But yeah, freaky. Truly, Crazed Rabbit has graced us with true-blue News of the Weird.

InsaneApache

10-08-2008, 23:15

He's probably got Irish ancestry too.

CR

:laugh4:

Gregoshi

10-08-2008, 23:20

He's probably got Irish ancestry too.

CR
Now they will be after his Lucky Charms.

Evil_Maniac From Mars

10-08-2008, 23:31

Now they will be after his Lucky Charms.

Beat me by that much.

KarlXII

10-10-2008, 04:54

http://music.yahoo.com/read/news/61767415

Ah, the sweet sound of the justice system. It also seems he needed to go shoot the hoops and not enjoy the strings!

Viking

10-10-2008, 19:38

It's time for some crappy news:

Space Station Toilet Breaks Again (http://www.space.com/missionlaunches/081010-space-station-toilet-glitch.html)

The master bathroom for three astronauts aboard the International Space Station is on the fritz again just days before a trio of new spaceflyers are due to launch toward the orbiting lab, NASA officials said Friday.

A temporary telemetry glitch also sent the space station into a so-called survival mode earlier this morning, changing the outpost's attitude and leading to system power downs for several hours. That issue was quickly tracked to an electronics box aboard the station, but the balky space toilet in the Russian Zvezda service module continues to plague astronauts and flight controllers.

"It failed late yesterday," NASA spokesperson John Ira Petty said of the Russian-built space commode in televised commentary from Mission Control in Houston. "Russian specialists are troubleshooting. The problem appears to be a [gas] separator issue."

Lemur

10-12-2008, 21:55

Australian sheep to be fitted with gas masks (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1074749/A-baaa-d-idea-Aussie-sheep-wear-gas-masks-scientists-breath-affect-climate.html)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/article-1074749-02F2954800000578-46.jpg

Researchers will fit the masks over the sheep for a short time to obtain a reading from their breath so it can be established how much methane gas they are emitting.

'Operation Gas Mask' will soon swing into action following a report by Australian climate adviser Ross Garnaut who said sheep helped create greenhouse gases and it would be better if farmers turned to kangaroos as a source of meat.

Rhyfelwyr

10-12-2008, 22:00

That gas mask will offer no protection against the Communist ape warriors (http://www.news.com.au/story/0,10117,17630955-13762,00.html)

Crazed Rabbit

10-13-2008, 22:43

Tim Mahoney, democratic congressman from Florida, has a sex/corruption scandal involving a woman he had an affair with and then gave a job on his staff.

Ho-hum, right?

Wrong! He was elected to fill the seat republican Mark Foley resigned in disgrace. (http://abcnews.go.com/Blotter/story?id=5997043&page=1)

The affair between Mahoney and Allen began, according to the current and former staffers, in 2006 when Mahoney was campaigning for Congress against Foley, promising "a world that is safer, more moral."

That's your second sequel to a weird news item, hope you enjoy.

CR

Lemur

10-13-2008, 22:49

I am shocked and disappointed that Mahoney chose to follow up Mark Foley's harassment of underage male pages with a conventional affair with a grown woman. What a let-down. Doesn't this maroon understand the rules of comedy? You have to escalate. If you start with teens away from home under the care of the Congress, you need to move on to something worse. Maybe farm animals. But a dumpy looking middle aged lady? He definitely loses points for style.

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/abc_mahoney_2a_081009_mn.jpg

Did we ever feature Rep. Foley in News of the Weird? I thought he made his star turn in Another Toe-Tappin' Republican (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showthread.php?t=92980) ...

Crazed Rabbit

10-13-2008, 22:59

Well, if you hadn't started a thread just for him and the other assorted weirdos, Foley would've been in NoTW.

Definite agreement on the lack of style. Maybe Mahoney just meant a return to convention affair morals.

CR

Ronin

10-14-2008, 12:27

Tim Mahoney, democratic congressman from Florida, has a sex/corruption scandal involving a woman he had an affair with and then gave a job on his staff.

Ho-hum, right?

Wrong! He was elected to fill the seat republican Mark Foley resigned in disgrace. (http://abcnews.go.com/Blotter/story?id=5997043&page=1)

That's your second sequel to a weird news item, hope you enjoy.

CR

again....democrat -> sex with a woman......see....more moral :laugh4:~:pimp:

Lemur

10-14-2008, 18:11

drone

10-14-2008, 19:38

So we finally know where the rubber meets the road. :yes:

King Henry V

10-14-2008, 20:19

Eh, save it for the Election Thread. We have other Weird News to consider:

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/spillsload.jpg

I'll just nip in ahead of Gregoshi and say that I hear this was near the resevoir, where he rear-ended a big rig before spilling his load.

The driver was quite clearly not putting Safety First when driving.

In other news, the absurdist rendition of the martini as a symbol for the moral and socio-political decline of America (http://article.nationalreview.com/print/?q=ZjU2ZmNhNTU3ODdhNjA0NDk4ZDJmN2JhN2QzOWNhNmU).

Crazed Rabbit

10-15-2008, 05:31

Eh, save it for the Election Thread. We have other Weird News to consider:

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/spillsload.jpg

I'll just nip in ahead of Gregoshi and say that I hear this was near the resevoir, where he rear-ended a big rig before spilling his load.

Eh, too bad he couldn't keep his load erect.

Anyways...

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you a show unlike that anything you have seen before:
Truly Enormous Pumpkins Crushing a Car (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEbyrSvxf7U&NR=1)

CR

Ronin

10-15-2008, 11:31

it´s always sad when a guy can´t hold is load long enough.

King Henry V

10-16-2008, 09:33

The scourge of alcohol, I tell you! It's everywhere! (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/cornwall/7672691.stm)

And if you wondering, yes, I am slightly alcohol-obsessed.

InsaneApache

10-16-2008, 13:22

Eh, too bad he couldn't keep his load erect.

Anyways...

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you a show unlike that anything you have seen before:
Truly Enormous Pumpkins Crushing a Car (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEbyrSvxf7U&NR=1)

CR

That's a smashing pumpkin. :embarassed:

Viking

10-16-2008, 13:34

naut

10-16-2008, 14:08

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you a show unlike that anything you have seen before:
Truly Enormous Pumpkins Crushing a Car (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEbyrSvxf7U&NR=1)
Quite the squash.

Gregoshi

10-16-2008, 14:57

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you a show unlike that anything you have seen before:
Truly Enormous Pumpkins Crushing a Car (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEbyrSvxf7U&NR=1)
Oh no, not again...

Lemur

10-16-2008, 17:08

Heck yeah, the guy deserves congratulations!

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/congratulations.jpg

seireikhaan

10-16-2008, 21:18

:laugh4:

ROFLMAO!!

spmetla

10-17-2008, 03:58

Heck yeah, the guy deserves congratulations!

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/congratulations.jpg

It'd be fantastic for any (unmarried) man to have a thank you ad in the newspaper for his *special* services for several women.

Anyways...

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you a show unlike that anything you have seen before:
Truly Enormous Pumpkins Crushing a Car

CR

I've never even imagined that pumpkins could grow so big. Perhaps we should be watching out for "The Great Pumpkin" in addition to octosquids.

CountArach

10-17-2008, 07:26

Heck yeah, the guy deserves congratulations!

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/congratulations.jpg
LMAO! :laugh4:

Viking

10-17-2008, 13:35

Heck yeah, the guy deserves congratulations!

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/congratulations.jpg

Whoah, that's rather stiff.

Lemur

10-17-2008, 21:59

A 5'9" man kills a bear. With a stick (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1075830/Bring-sweetie-Man-kills-bear-stick-hes-got-scars-prove-it.html). Mucho hombre!

'Bring it on, sweetie': Man kills bear with stick (and he's got the scars to prove it)

A man who was attacked by a black bear while walking his dogs survived only after crushing the creature's skull with a stick.

Jim West needed 60 stitches on his head and body to close wounds from the terrifying attack.

The 45 year old was out walking his dogs on Saturday in British Columbia, Canada, when, he said, he heard a grunt and turned around.

'All I saw was eyes full of hatred,' he said afterwards.

'I had no option … So I stuck my foot up and tried to kick her in the face.'

The bear responded by attacking him and knocking him to the ground.

'I rolled onto my stomach and clasped my hands at the back of my neck,' Mr West said.

'She tore into my skull at the back of my head, moved over and bit me on the left side of my body, on my ribs and left arm.'

But Mr West was not about to go down without a fight. Battling to his feet, he managed to grab a stick about as thick as his arm.

'I said, in effect, bring it on sweetie,' he said. 'I took one step forward — smash! I swung the stick and broke it over her head.

'She kind of stood there and shook it off, like she was stunned. I realised if I didn't continue the attack she would knock me to the ground again and I would not get up.

'I swung my piece of wood like a sledgehammer driving spikes and I kept swinging till she was lying flat on the ground and there was blood coming out of her nose.'

The 5ft 9in man eventually crushed the bear's skull with the stick, killing it. He then walked a mile to a local lodge, where he was transported to hospital.

Even conservation officers were shocked by the terrifying incident, saying they were surprised he had lived.

TB666

10-18-2008, 01:29

Heck yeah, the guy deserves congratulations!

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/congratulations.jpg
Why do I have a feeling that George didn't want them to correct the ad ??

Louis VI the Fat

10-18-2008, 01:38

Come on people, get over it. It's just an ad, eh? Sheesh. :no:

What, no women ever placed ads thanking you for your lionide performances before? Trust me, it's not worth making a fuzz about. I mean, I don't need it publicised, but it is the thought that counts, right?

PBI

10-19-2008, 15:04

Bee Gees song could save your life. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7678371.stm)

Personally, I find the idea that the last thing I ever hear could be a BeeGees song rather troubling.

FactionHeir

10-19-2008, 17:20

Hmmm while I don't know the song, I don't know how that is worse than "Nelly the Elephant" that we are currently told of (another one bites the dust does it too, but that is considered offensive in that scenario) :grin:

Lemur

10-20-2008, 03:11

Man arrested for sex with car wash vacuum (http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/O/ODD_VACUUM_SEX?SITE=WFAA&TEMPLATE=STRANGEHEADS.html&SECTION=HOME). Is it so wrong to love a suctioned tube?

Police say a Michigan man has been arrested after "receiving sexual favors from a vacuum" at a car wash.

The Saginaw News reports the 29-year-old Swan Creek Township man was arrested Thursday in Saginaw County's Thomas Township, about 90 miles northwest of Detroit.

Police Sgt. Gary Breidinger says a resident called to report suspicious activity at the car wash about 6:45 a.m. An officer approached on foot and caught the man in the act.

CountArach

10-20-2008, 10:43

Sucks to be him...

Meanwhile Airliner had a near-miss with UFO in 1991 (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7679145.stm)

A passenger jet bound for Heathrow Airport had a near miss with a UFO, Ministry of Defence files reveal.

The captain of the Alitalia airliner shouted "Look out" to his co-pilot at the sight of a brown missile-shaped object shooting past them overhead.

Civil Aviation Authority and military investigations could not explain the 1991 incident near Lydd in Kent.
[...]
And the files also contain a letter from a woman claiming to be from the Sirius system who said her spacecraft - also containing two "Spectrans" with "Mr Spock ears" - crashed in Britain during World War II.

UFO expert and journalism lecturer at Sheffield Hallam University, Dr David Clarke, said the documents would shed new light on relatively little-known sightings.

He said some conspiracy theorists would already have decided that the release of the papers was a "whitewash".

He added: "Because the subject is bedevilled by charlatans and lunatics, it is career suicide to have your name associated with UFOs, which is a real pity.