View Full Version : News of the Weird
Tribesman
11-21-2007, 01:48
Socialist health care systems:
They're compassionate.
A very wierd take on the news:dizzy2:
Errrrr...socialist health care ...to each according to their needs .
New Zealands very capitalist immigration policies...if you are not going to make lots of big contributions to the economy you ain't getting in .
A very wierd take on the news:dizzy2:
Errrrr...socialist health care ...to each according to their needs .
New Zealands very capitalist immigration policies...if you are not going to make lots of big contributions to the economy you ain't getting in .
Ha, I never realised we barred fat people from getting into this country. Although our healthcare system is EXTREMELY overworked. Waiting lists are massive and medical professionals are desperately needed. I would imagine that also is a factor and it isn't simply the money factor, or the sole fact that they are obese. If the medical system is already overworked and more people are coming in who are likely to have medical problems then the situation isn't going to improve.
I feel rotten talking like that though since I believe they should be allowed to immigrate here but there are some rather sound reasons behind it. I feel so mean now. :shame:
Vladimir
11-21-2007, 18:47
Well that would solve our obesity problem if we didn't treat fat people. Which do you prefer, high prices or rationing?
What's with people and having drunken sex with inanimate objects (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?view=DETAILS&grid=&xml=/news/2007/11/21/nfence121.xml)?
Uh-huh, Rhythmic, like you have never tried to get it on with a fence. Didn't even cross your mind, now did it? Give it up, buddy. We know you're a fence-lover.
I dare any Orgahs to attempt to have sex with a man-sized sea scorpion (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7104421.stm), however:
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/_44252282_scorpion203x333.gif
Man-sized sea scorpion claw found
The immense fossilised claw of a 2.5m-long (8ft) sea scorpion has been described by European researchers.
The 390-million-year-old specimen was found in a German quarry, the journal Biology Letters reports.
The creature, which has been named Jaekelopterus rhenaniae, would have paddled in a river or swamp.
The size of the beast suggests that spiders, insects, crabs and similar creatures were much larger in the past than previously thought, the team says.
The claw itself measures 46cm - indicating its owner would have been longer even than the average-sized human.
Overall, the estimated size of the animal exceeds the record for any other sea scorpion (eurypterid) find by nearly 50cm.
The eurypterids are believed to be the extinct aquatic ancestors of modern land scorpions and possibly all arachnids (the class of animals that also includes spiders).
"The biggest scorpion today is nearly 30cm so that shows you how big this creature was," said Dr Simon Braddy from the University of Bristol, UK.
It was one of Dr Braddy's co-authors, Markus Poschmann, who made the discovery in the quarry near Prum in western Germany.
"I was loosening pieces of rock with a hammer and chisel when I suddenly realised there was a dark patch of organic matter on a freshly removed slab," he recalled.
"After some cleaning I could identify this as a small part of a large claw. Although I did not know if it was more complete or not, I decided to try and get it out.
"The pieces had to be cleaned separately, dried, and then glued back together. It was then put into a white plaster jacket to stabilise it."
Super-sized meals
The species existed during a period in Earth history when oxygen levels in the atmosphere were much higher than today.
And it was those elevated levels, some palaeo-scientists believe, that may have helped drive the super-sized bodies of many of the invertebrates that existed at that time - monster millipedes, huge cockroaches, and jumbo dragonflies.
But Dr Braddy thinks the large scales may have had a lot to do with the absence early on of vertebrate predators. As they came on the scene, these animals would have eaten all the biggest prey specimens.
"The fact that you are big means you are more likely to be seen and to be taken for a tastier morsel," he told BBC News. "Evolution will not select for large size; you want to be small so you can hide away."
The scorpions are thought to have made their first scuttles on to land about 450 million years ago.
While some would have taken up a fully terrestrial existence, others like Jaekelopterus rhenaniae would have maintained an aquatic or semi-aquatic lifestyle.
Gregoshi
11-22-2007, 03:40
Uh-huh, Rhythmic, like you have never tried to get it on with a fence. Didn't even cross your mind, now did it? Give it up, buddy. We know you're a fence-lover.
She was a beautiful, sharp-looking fence with a gate that said "welcome".
He was her fence-sitter.
What happened between them when he got down was a criminal offence.
InsaneApache
11-22-2007, 10:50
Slats enough Greg. :embarassed:
CountArach
11-22-2007, 12:00
Uh-huh, Rhythmic, like you have never tried to get it on with a fence. Didn't even cross your mind, now did it? Give it up, buddy. We know you're a fence-lover.
I dare any Orgahs to attempt to have sex with a man-sized sea scorpion (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7104421.stm), however:
Man-sized sea scorpion claw found
The immense fossilised claw of a 2.5m-long (8ft) sea scorpion has been described by European researchers.
The 390-million-year-old specimen was found in a German quarry, the journal Biology Letters reports.
The creature, which has been named Jaekelopterus rhenaniae, would have paddled in a river or swamp.
The size of the beast suggests that spiders, insects, crabs and similar creatures were much larger in the past than previously thought, the team says.
The claw itself measures 46cm - indicating its owner would have been longer even than the average-sized human.
Overall, the estimated size of the animal exceeds the record for any other sea scorpion (eurypterid) find by nearly 50cm.
The eurypterids are believed to be the extinct aquatic ancestors of modern land scorpions and possibly all arachnids (the class of animals that also includes spiders).
"The biggest scorpion today is nearly 30cm so that shows you how big this creature was," said Dr Simon Braddy from the University of Bristol, UK.
It was one of Dr Braddy's co-authors, Markus Poschmann, who made the discovery in the quarry near Prum in western Germany.
"I was loosening pieces of rock with a hammer and chisel when I suddenly realised there was a dark patch of organic matter on a freshly removed slab," he recalled.
"After some cleaning I could identify this as a small part of a large claw. Although I did not know if it was more complete or not, I decided to try and get it out.
"The pieces had to be cleaned separately, dried, and then glued back together. It was then put into a white plaster jacket to stabilise it."
Super-sized meals
The species existed during a period in Earth history when oxygen levels in the atmosphere were much higher than today.
And it was those elevated levels, some palaeo-scientists believe, that may have helped drive the super-sized bodies of many of the invertebrates that existed at that time - monster millipedes, huge cockroaches, and jumbo dragonflies.
But Dr Braddy thinks the large scales may have had a lot to do with the absence early on of vertebrate predators. As they came on the scene, these animals would have eaten all the biggest prey specimens.
"The fact that you are big means you are more likely to be seen and to be taken for a tastier morsel," he told BBC News. "Evolution will not select for large size; you want to be small so you can hide away."
The scorpions are thought to have made their first scuttles on to land about 450 million years ago.
While some would have taken up a fully terrestrial existence, others like Jaekelopterus rhenaniae would have maintained an aquatic or semi-aquatic lifestyle.
The Octo-squids are mutating!
THIS IS THE END PEOPLE! :rifle:
ShadesPanther
11-22-2007, 12:59
The Jellyfish are attacking! (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/7106631.stm)
A jellyfish invasion has wiped out Northern Ireland's only salmon farm, killing more than 100,000 fish.
A Northern Salmon spokesman said last week's attack could cost more than £1m.
Billions of small jellyfish, known as Mauve Stingers, flooded into the cages about a mile into the Irish Sea, off Glenarm Bay and Cushendun.
The jellyfish covered an area of up to 10 square miles and a depth of 35 feet. Rescuers tried to reach the cages but the density of fish made it impossible.
Managing director John Russell said he had never seen anything like this in 30 years in the business.
It could take at least two years for the firm to recover
"The sea was red with these jellyfish and there was nothing we could do about, it, absolutely nothing," he said.
"It's a disaster for this company - you cannot legislate for something like this."
He says the firm could take at least two years to recover.
The company has some high-profile clients, with Irish chef Richard Corrigan serving Glenarm salmon to the Queen on her 80th birthday last year as part of the BBC's Great British Menu programme.
The Department of Agriculture's fisheries division has carried out a full investigation, and talks with NI Agriculture Minister Michelle Gildernew have taken place to try to rescue the farm and save the jobs of 12 staff.
woad&fangs
11-22-2007, 16:56
Those weren't Jellyfish. They were obviously Octosquids beginning their destruction of the worlds food supply so we are forced to eat ridiculous amounts of turkey. Then we will all be too trusting of the Octosquids to put up any resistance. Linky (http://www.technologyreview.com/Biotech/19741/)
Pannonian
11-24-2007, 11:22
Woman chews on chap's todger in fast food joint (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/11/16/fast_food/)
Swede declines oral sex, ends up on the menu
By Lester Haines → More by this author
Published Friday 16th November 2007 12:17 GMT
NSFW A 22-year-old Swedish woman has been found guilty of "assault and sexual harassment" for tucking into a stranger's penis after he declined her offer of a swift BJ, The Local reports
The incident took place in March at a fast food outlet in Falköping. The unnamed assailant "approached the man and asked him several times if he would like her to perform oral sex on him". He turned down her kind offer, then "kept trying to reason with her as he turned his body away from her advances".
Evidently desperate for some fast food, she quickly "pulled his trousers down and sank her teeth into one side of his penis" and "scratched him in the face" for good measure.
The woman admitted to Skaraborg District Court she'd been "very much under the influence of alcohol and did not remember having set foot in the fast food restaurant". The court said the credibility of the victim's story was supported by the fact it was so unusual the judges "did not believe he had made it up". He also had a witness, snaps of the wounded member and a doctor's note confirming the injuries.
The assailant was slapped with a suspended sentence, fined 80 days' wages and ordered to pay her attempted lunch 11,600 kronor (£895) in damages.
I have always said that Swedish fast food is dangerous.
Well she must have been really fast even when drunk, I call bull for several reasons.
InsaneApache
11-25-2007, 15:52
Do they still sell meat balls in Ikea? :inquisitive: :laugh4:
Marshal Murat
11-26-2007, 23:22
A Mature look at Kenya (http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSN2638979720071126?feedType=RSS&feedName=oddlyEnoughNews&rpc=22&sp=true)
Louis VI the Fat
11-27-2007, 01:04
Me mom is in Kenya right now...https://img143.imageshack.us/img143/2135/lookaroundfs4.gif
Crazed Rabbit
11-27-2007, 03:35
This guy looks pretty darn good for having a metal pool stuck through his head, and out the other side:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=496314&in_page_id=1770
And it also answers the question of how you can survive in M&B with a javelin in his head.
In other news...
You have your stupid criminals, and you have your stupid criminals:
http://www.chron.com/CDA/archives/archive.mpl?id=2007_4308918
CR
seireikhaan
11-27-2007, 06:05
:jawdrop: Wow, CR, that is one REALLLLLLLLY lucky person. Not only surviving the intitial trauma, but not dying on the way to the hospital in a rickshaw, of all things.
Crazed Rabbit
11-27-2007, 07:24
And apparently he stayed conscious the whole way.
:dizzy2:
CR
seireikhaan
11-27-2007, 08:05
~:eek:
OWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!! And here I thought he'd been unconcious for most of that trip. That would've been more merciful.
English assassin
11-27-2007, 10:33
Only in France
'Cultural guerrillas' cleared of lawbreaking over secret workshop in Pantheon
For a year from September 2005, under the nose of the Panthéon's unsuspecting security officials, a group of intrepid "illegal restorers" set up a secret workshop and lounge in a cavity under the building's famous dome. Under the supervision of group member Jean-Baptiste Viot, a professional clockmaker, they pieced apart and repaired the antique clock that had been left to rust in the building since the 1960s. Only when their clandestine revamp of the elaborate timepiece had been completed did they reveal themselves.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/france/story/0,,2217067,00.html
Any time the Untergunther http://www.ugwk.eu/ want to bid to take over the EU, they get my vote.
Only in France
http://www.guardian.co.uk/france/story/0,,2217067,00.html
Any time the Untergunther http://www.ugwk.eu/ want to bid to take over the EU, they get my vote.
I also found a picture that fits your post very well here (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showthread.php?p=1759306#post1759306). :hide:
But Untergunther is a really cool name, yes. :2thumbsup:
English assassin
11-27-2007, 15:05
[QUOTE=Husar]I also found a picture that fits your post very well here (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showthread.php?p=1759306#post1759306). :hide:
Now I am supposed to check TWO news of the weird threads? :inquisitive:
Now I am supposed to check TWO news of the weird threads? :inquisitive:
Nono, one is New of the Wyrd.
Apparently it serves the purpose of posting minor news that aren't weird enough to be posted here. You should still check both though. ~;)
Maybe we should merge both and call it News of the Wyrd and Weird?
English assassin
11-27-2007, 16:24
Apparently it serves the purpose of posting minor news that aren't weird enough to be posted here.
That would be news of the whimsey.
This is never going to work. Weirdness is too personal. One man's weird is another man's quotidian.
Vladimir
11-27-2007, 16:31
https://img523.imageshack.us/img523/2827/artcoupledisguisedombn3.jpg
Official: Bride, groom stopped in Iraq actually terror suspects
http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/meast/11/26/iraq.bride/index.html
I was thinking of posting this as a serious story stating that it was the latest Abu Greb. It would be nice to see how many left wing .orgasms would follow. Apparently the stubble and height gave him away.
Louis VI the Fat
11-27-2007, 16:33
Maybe we should merge both and call it News of the Wyrd and Weird?Nah, no merger. The News of the Weird thread should stay as is. If the Wyrd News thread cathes on, it catches on. If it doesn't, it doesn't and will die a silent death.
I already regret giving it that ridiculous name. Couldn't resist showing off my knowledge of old pagan concepts. I should've called it the 'Minor News' thread. A dumping ground for serious stories that don't warrant an entire thread.
This thread is for weird news.
FactionHeir
11-27-2007, 19:31
Belgian women love man who murdered women (http://www.stern.de/politik/panorama/:Belgien-Frauen-Frauenm%F6rder/603713.html) (Article in German)
Ein inhaftierter Frauenmörder empfängt in der sogenannten Liebeszelle Besucherinnen, die Sex mit ihm haben wollen. Fünf waren bereits bei ihm in dem belgischen Gefängnis. Trotz der Horror-Taten gefalle den Frauen sein Aussehen eines Sonnyboys, so eine Zeitung.
Ein vierfacher Frauenmörder hat in der sogenannten Liebeszelle eines belgischen Gefängnisses bereits fünf Besucherinnen empfangen. "Trotz des Horrors seiner begangenen Taten gefällt sein Aussehen eines Sonnyboys", schrieb die Zeitung "La Capitale" aus Brüssel. Die Tatsache, ihn "intim" im Gefängnis zu treffen, scheine die Fantasie von mehr als einer Frau anzuregen.
Der Mörder hatte im Juli 1997 eine Mutter und deren drei Töchter umgebracht, von denen er zwei zuvor vergewaltigt hatte. Die Frauenbesuche im Gefängnis wurden öffentlich, als die Zeitung von einer entsprechenden E-Mail der Gefängnisdirektorin an einen Wärter erfuhr. Aufseher bestätigten den Fall und erzählten Details.
Im Gefängnis von Andenne empfing der Häftling demnach mehrfach Frauen in einer Zelle ohne Aufseher. Das sei erlaubt, wenn die Besucherinnen ihn zuvor sechs Monate lang regelmäßig in den normalen Besuchszellen getroffen hätten, sagte Direktorin Véronique Dumonceau der Zeitung. "Das ist die Regelung, und ich führe nicht Buch über seine verschiedenen Partnerinnen", erklärte Dumonceau.
DPA
A Mature look at Kenya (http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSN2638979720071126?feedType=RSS&feedName=oddlyEnoughNews&rpc=22&sp=true)
Gah!
InsaneApache
11-27-2007, 22:58
That would be news of the whimsey.
Too true. I really wish that 'Johnny Foreigner' would at least attempt to learn English, it's spelling and pronunciation. :clown:
Louis VI the Fat
11-28-2007, 00:19
I really wish that 'Johnny Foreigner' would at least attempt to learn English, it's spelling and pronunciation. I am massa! Am learning from them books nice massa give me! https://img104.imageshack.us/img104/5769/dieuxl3.gif
InsaneApache
11-28-2007, 01:20
Good, good keep it up dear boy. :whip:
Crazed Rabbit
11-28-2007, 02:29
:inquisitive: /\ Good thing the NAACP isn't here to see that.
CR
Marshal Murat
11-28-2007, 03:25
The Cockroach of Mice (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/health/healthmain.html?in_article_id=496751&in_page_id=1774)
Vladimir
11-28-2007, 14:42
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=496827&in_page_id=1879&in_a_source=
:laugh4: You sexist Brits!
ENTS ARE REAL
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/11/12/wtree112.xml&CMP=ILC-mostviewedbox
Crazed Rabbit
11-28-2007, 17:37
Report on the Holiday movie scene:
http://iowahawk.typepad.com/iowahawk/2007/11/boxbux-sux-as-s.html
BoxBux Sux as Stix Hix Nix Xmas Flix
Los Angeles - Despite critical acclaim and massive promotional budgets, a wave of anti-Santa holiday pictures floundered at the box office over the Thanksgiving opening weekend, leading some entertainment industry analysts to question whether Hollywood had overestimated the American public's loathing for the Claus administration and a seemingly endless shopping season.
"I'm not sure what went wrong," said Jeff Bell of the MPAA after the release of the weekend Nielsen/EDI movie box office figures. "With all the griping you hear about the holidays, it stood to reason that people would flock to theaters for a chance to vent their hatred at that fat red fascist bastard. I blame illegal downloaders."
Whatever the reason, the financial results were grim.
"Kringle's List," starring George Clooney, Matt Damon, and Julia Roberts in a cautionary tale of rogue elf agents inside the North Pole's illegal Naughty and Nice wiretapping operation, led the pack of anti-Claus releases with weekend receipts of $68,500, for a $26 per-screen average. The film's take was only good for a #34 showing overall, just behind the limited arthouse re-release of the 1965 Don Knotts classic "The Incredible Mr. Limpet," but studio spokesman Rob Foulet said the film could eventually recoup its $180 million production budget through strong word-of-mouth and a new advertising campaign that downplays the film's elfin geopolitical psychodrama in favor of Miss Roberts' breasts.
"We're not saying she has a nude scene in the film, but we're not saying she doesn't," said Foulet. "That's up to the ticket buyers to find out."
A similar fate befell "In the Valley of Elves," TriStar's $80 million claymation remake of the 1964 Rankin-Bass classic "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer." With an all-star cast including Tommy Lee Jones as Dasher, a reindeer father haunted when his naive red-nosed son Rudolph (Ryan Phillipe) volunteers for a dangerous rooftop mission only to be killed by Santa (Javier Bardem) in a friendly fireplace incident, the film's strong Oscar buzz was expected to carry it to a big opening weekend. Instead, the fog-of-Christmas-Eve drama could only muster $24,813 from 2,505 screens. One Tri-Star executive blamed the disappointing receipts in part on the the film's R rating and controversial interspecies gay love scene between Rudolph and Herbie (Jake Gyllenhaal), a young elf who undergoes a sexual and dentistry awakening.
Star power was also unable to save Sundance Films' "Dialog On 34th Street," Writer/ Producer/ Director/ Star/ Costume Designer/ Makeup Artist Robert Redford's take on the Christmas quagmire. Just last month the film had a triumphant debut for Redford at Redford's prestigious Sundance Film Festival, where it brought home Best Picture and earned Redford the Golden Redford for his portrayal of a young, gauzily-lit rugged dissident intellectual cowboy filmmaker who exposes the lies told by a department store Santa Claus (Tom Cruise) to a cynical 7-year old girl (Meryl Streep). During its national weekend opening, however, it was only able to generate $7,425 in tickets sales, a figure which some industry analyst said would not cover the film's advertising budget, let alone the CGI and spackle cost for Mr. Redford's closeup scenes. The film may have also suffered from lukewarm reviews that faulted its overly cerebral tone, and 68-minute laptop dialog between Cruise and Streep.
Faring even worse was "The Midnight Polar Express," Searchlight's $250 million computer animation tale starring Reese Witherspoon as a mother whose children are falsely accused of naughtiness, abducted to the North Pole on a magical rendition train, and taken to Chrismo Island where they are iceboarded by a sadistic Santa's Helper (Sean Penn). Its five-day weekend take was an anemic $3216, or $1.47 per screen. While clearly disappointed in the results, Searchlight studio spokeswoman Renee Sachs said that the film would make up some of the shortfall through merchandising tie-ins, like the new MPE torture toy Happy Meal at McDonalds.
"Collect all six!" said Sachs.
The most controversial of the new releases, Brian De Palma's "Red on Green," also proved to be the weekend's biggest financial disappointment. The film's documentary-style depiction of brutal gang rapes, genital torture, and candy cane stabbings by North Pole workers earned critical raves and a Palm d'Or award for De Palma when it debuted at the Cannes Film Festival earlier in the year, but the positive advanced notices were not enough to fill theater seats. According to Nielsen/EDI the film generated only $18.00 in box office receipts -- apparently two tickets sold to DePalma and producer Mark Cuban -- and was later revised downward to $9.00 after Cuban asked for a refund.
De Palma defended the film's weak opening box office, noting that it was based on only 15 screens in New York, Los Angeles, and Pyongyang.
"I think it'll really break out when we open in Dallas," said De Palma. "We're giving away free Dirk Nowitzki posters to the first 500,000 ticket buyers!"
"I have a Palm d'Or award," added De Palma.
Chicago Sun-Times film critic Roger Ebert, who gave glowing, 5-star reviews to each of the films, said he was not surprised by their poor financial performance.
"It's sad, but hopefully these wonderful films will do much better in the overseas market," said Ebert. "No matter how much down inside they know how Christmas is wrong, and Santa is wrong, it's hard for Americans to see their elves portrayed in a balanced, realistic way, as tragically haunted sadistic pederasts. By contrast European filmgoers are much more sophisticated and educated, so they eat that shit right up."
New York Times film critic A.O. Scott, another enthusiastic review of the films, agreed.
"These new films are complex and challenge our cherished assumptions about Christmas," said Scott. "But American audiences can't deal with anything that isn't mindless escapism. Americans want their movies simple, with fart jokes and boobies. Face it, west of the Hudson this country is a vast group home of 300 million drooling retards. No matter how many times you pile them in the shortbus, drive them to the mall, and herd them into the cineplex to watch a daring, groundbreaking film that fearlessly points out just what a bunch of violent, soulless retards they really are, before you can collect their ticket money they've escaped and gone wandering off to spend it all at Hot Topic and Sports Authority."
Despite the disappointing weekend showing, MPAA spokesman Bell said that industry still has high hopes for 17 more anti-Santa films that will open nationwide this weekend, including "The Reindeer Hunter," "Shop Loss," and Quentin Tarantino's much anticipated "Workshop of Blood."
"Chances are, one of them will be a hit," said Bell. "There's got to be a pony in there somewhere."
InsaneApache
11-28-2007, 18:07
ENTS ARE REAL
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/11/12/wtree112.xml&CMP=ILC-mostviewedbox
"I would like to bring him to the US to run tests on where his immune condition has come from, but I would need funding and to get him a visa as well as someone to cover the costs of the tests," he said.
He's got no chance. How the hell are they going to fingerprint him? :inquisitive: :sweatdrop:
Gregoshi
11-28-2007, 20:35
True. And they wouldn't want someone like that putting down any roots here - especially in Oaklahoma. Though maybe Bush or some other sap in the Executive Branch could give him permission.
Crazed Rabbit
11-28-2007, 20:50
They're really going out on a limb to treat him.
CR
Louis VI the Fat
11-28-2007, 20:57
Shame on all tree of you! Can't you just leaf him alone? Why do you people stalk him so much? :no:
And what's the big deal anyway, it's not like he's an Elephant Man with a big trunk or anything.
How the hell are they going to fingerprint him?Me, I'm more worried about him getting a woody... :sweatdrop:
Vladimir
11-28-2007, 21:27
Me, I'm more worried about him getting a woody... :sweatdrop:
Eeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, the skin condition is an advanced wart, and, you... Sick sick sick sick...
Gregoshi
11-28-2007, 22:18
Me, I'm more worried about him getting a woody...
That pun is a whittle knotty Louis.:embarassed: Clever though - take a bough.
If Dede fell in a forest and
no one was around...
:thinking2:
InsaneApache
11-28-2007, 22:36
Leafing through this puns, I reckon Greg could run rings around us. Or mebbe I'm just being a sap.
Louis VI the Fat
11-28-2007, 23:18
A human tree, and all you people can come up with are disrespectful jokes? Tsk. I for one did the right thing and reported this to the mods. I expect our lumberjack Beirut to swiftly solve this case with his axe.
Can't Indonesia lease him to Britian so the UK can use him to offset its carbon emissions?
Do you face a dilemma now if you are a member of both Docters without Borders and 'Save the Rainforests' ?
:thinking2:
Gregoshi
11-29-2007, 02:32
I for one did the right thing and reported this to the mods. I expect our lumberjack Beirut to swiftly solve this case with his axe.
Ah, but Louis, our dear Beirut cannot swing his axe here in the Barkroom. You have to contact the correct forum copse.
HoreTore
11-29-2007, 13:21
http://today.reuters.com/news/articlenews.aspx?type=entertainmentNews&storyid=2007-11-29T030813Z_01_N28568914_RTRUKOC_0_US-SANTA.xml
I posted this one in the News of the wyrd-thread by mistake, it should've been here :laugh4:
InsaneApache
11-29-2007, 13:55
My oldest granddaughter thinks I won't be getting any presents this year because I told her I'd kicked Santa up the bum for drinking on duty.
:laugh4:
English assassin
11-29-2007, 23:30
Now, we all know, sex sells. But, can sex sell EVERYTHING?
Can it, for example, sell coffins?
http://www.cofanifunebri.com/2008-calendar.htm
NB wageslaves: the link above is fine, but the monthly pictures do contain images of saucy ladies in their undercrackers. And coffins. Miss June is especially tasty. Nothing you would be too embarrassed if your dear old granny saw, (although would she like to know you were looking at coffins?) but maybe NSFW
Now, we all know, sex sells. But, can sex sell EVERYTHING?
Can it, for example, sell coffins?
http://www.cofanifunebri.com/2008-calendar.htm
NB wageslaves: the link above is fine, but the monthly pictures do contain images of saucy ladies in their undercrackers. And coffins. Miss June is especially tasty. Nothing you would be too embarrassed if your dear old granny saw, (although would she like to know you were looking at coffins?) but maybe NSFW
that is hands down the weirdest thing I have ever seen... :laugh4:
Papewaio
11-30-2007, 00:50
I expect the Coffin Cheaters would love that.
I expected to see more Goth chicks.
Louis VI the Fat
11-30-2007, 02:41
Now, we all know, sex sells. But, can sex sell EVERYTHING?
Can it, for example, sell coffins?
http://www.cofanifunebri.com/2008-calendar.htm
NB wageslaves: the link above is fine, but the monthly pictures do contain images of saucy ladies in their undercrackers. And coffins. Miss June is especially tasty. Nothing you would be too embarrassed if your dear old granny saw, (although would she like to know you were looking at coffins?) but maybe NSFWWow, where did you dig this up!? June looks great! I wouldn't mind getting laid in that box. But it looks a bit narrow for somebody my size. And there won't be much wriggle room since I expect to be rather stiff upon entry.
:shame: :shame:
Gregoshi
11-30-2007, 03:23
:laugh4: Louis, you've had a dirty mind the last couple of days...doing some grave digging?
Their calendars have gotten better since 2003. I really liked the "I told you I was sick" t-shirt. :laugh4:
Crazed Rabbit
11-30-2007, 06:35
Thanks, a lot, Canadians. (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,313844,00.html)
Study: Canadian Beer Drinkers Threaten Planet
Scientists have found a new threat to the planet: Canadian beer drinkers.
The government-commissioned study says the old, inefficient "beer fridges" that one in three Canadian households use to store their Molson and Labatt's contribute significantly to global warming by guzzling gas- and coal-fired electricity.
CR
Vladimir
11-30-2007, 14:46
:laugh4: Beirut: Public enemy #1. Tree killer and Canadian beer drinker.
Vladimir
11-30-2007, 16:41
What's Tribesman been up to?
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article2971318.ece
What a load of crap. The old fridges might use more energy, but the beer drinkers are recycling them. Would it be better if they were to end up in the dump?
* Proud owner of a recycled Beer Fridge ~:cheers:
While all of you guys are out watching Octosquid, wasps are well on their way to creating a zombie army!
http://www.nature.com/news/2007/071129/full/news.2007.312.html
How to make a zombie cockroach
Researchers discover how wasps' venom makes roaches their slaves.
Michael Hopkin
Researchers have worked out the neurological trick used by a species of wasp to turn cockroaches into 'zombie slaves'. The discovery explains why, once stung, cockroaches can be led by a much smaller master towards certain death. Researchers have proven their theory by replicating the effect, and by using an antidote injection to release the cockroaches from their zombie state.
Zombie insects might sound like the B-movie plot device from heaven (or hell, depending on your cinematic preferences). But to the emerald cockroach wasp (Ampulex compressa ), they're a tried and tested way to provide food for their hungry larvae.
Crazed Rabbit
11-30-2007, 17:20
Antelopes will probably be more envied:
Male topi antelope's sex burden
Choosy males and aggressive females - a role reversal has been found in the sexual behaviour of the topi antelope.
...
"However, some pushy females were so aggressive in their pursuit of the male that he actually had physically to attack them to rebuff their advances."
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7117498.stm
CR
"However, some pushy females were so aggressive in their pursuit of the male that he actually had physically to attack them to rebuff their advances."
Sigh. We've all had days like that. Ladies, ladies, please, I'm a married man.
Crazed Rabbit
11-30-2007, 20:48
Republicans;
Significantly more mentally healthier than both Democrats and Independents!
http://media.gallup.com/poll/graphs/mentalhealth11302007graph1.gif
[A]n analysis of the relationship between party identification and self-reported excellent mental health within various categories of age, gender, church attendance, income, education, and other variables shows that the basic pattern persists regardless of these characteristics. In other words, party identification appears to have an independent effect on mental health even when each of these is controlled for.
http://www.gallup.com/poll/102943/Republicans-Report-Much-Better-Mental-Health-Than-Others.aspx
:beam:
CR
Vladimir
11-30-2007, 21:23
Republicans;
Significantly more mentally healthier than both Democrats and Independents!
CR
To bad we have poor grammar.
A bit subjective perhaps? Ask me if I'm crazy and I'll tell you it's the rest of the world that's crazy.
Republicans;
Significantly more mentally healthier than both Democrats and Independents!
self-reported excellent mental health
:inquisitive:
Either I got that wrong or Republicans are just more self-absorbed. ~;)
In other news: Judge removed after jailing entire courtroom (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?view=DETAILS&grid=&xml=/news/2007/11/28/wjudge128.xml)
A US judge has been removed from the bench for jailing 46 people after none of them admitted responsibility for a ringing mobile phone in his courtroom.
In other news: Judge removed after jailing entire courtroom (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?view=DETAILS&grid=&xml=/news/2007/11/28/wjudge128.xml)
:laugh4:
I've always wondered whether that was possible. Looks like it is.
Republicans;
Significantly more mentally healthier than both Democrats and Independents!
Crazed Rabbit, this is going too far. You have the entire Backroom in which to thump your chest about party politics, seriously or not. This does not qualify as weird news in the slightest way.
This thread is for weird news. Full stop. You contribute mightily to this thread, so I'm sorry I'm coming down on you like a pile of giant East German rabbits just before they get eaten by Kim Jung Il, but somebody's gotta call bull excrement.
woad&fangs
12-01-2007, 05:27
Are you talking about those massive German rabbits that the North Koreans bought earlier this year to help with their food shortages only to find out that the rabbits ate more per day then their citizens? Those were some big bunnies.
Edit: okay I swear that you didn't mention Kim Jong Il before I started writing my reply. Now I look stupid. Can we start calling CR "Thumper" now?
It's okay, W&F, I edited my comment to make the reference clearer, probably did it while you were writing your reply. Here's the original post (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showpost.php?p=1516246&postcount=67), for old times' sake.
Crazed Rabbit, this is going too far. You have the entire Backroom in which to thump your chest about party politics, seriously or not. This does not qualify as weird news in the slightest way.
This thread is for weird news. Full stop. You contribute mightily to this thread, so I'm sorry I'm coming down on you like a pile of giant East German rabbits just before they get eaten by Kim Jung Il, but somebody's gotta call bull excrement.
:grin2:
I dunno, I'm sure there's a bunch of democrats and independants out there willing to call that news as entirely weird :laugh4:
...and god, those rabbits are huge :jawdrop:
macsen rufus
12-01-2007, 13:38
Well, I guess Crazed Rabbit must be in that 8% section of Republicans, then... :clown:
KukriKhan
12-01-2007, 15:28
What's Tribesman been up to?
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article2971318.ece
Wow. Two things really jumped out at me:
Arthur Guinness opened the brewery almost 250 years ago with a 9,000-year lease at £45 per annum.
Now, that's what I call a "lock".
In all, 360 kegs of Guinness and Budweiser and 90 kegs of Carlsberg were taken from the complex.
Budweiser? Whodathunk?
Gregoshi
12-01-2007, 17:12
Budweiser? Whodathunk?
This exposes the sham Kukri. Our friends is Europe secretly harbour a love affair for the great American beer that is Budwieser, all the while publicly trashing it to cover up their shame. It's like Jim Baker railing against sin while having an affair or politicians denouncing gays whilest hiding in the closet themselves.
I say to our European Orgahs: free yourself from guilt and publicly declare your love for Bud! Confession is good for the soul. :laugh4:
Crazed Rabbit
12-01-2007, 17:17
Crazed Rabbit, this is going too far. You have the entire Backroom in which to thump your chest about party politics, seriously or not. This does not qualify as weird news in the slightest way.
This thread is for weird news. Full stop. You contribute mightily to this thread, so I'm sorry I'm coming down on you like a pile of giant East German rabbits just before they get eaten by Kim Jung Il, but somebody's gotta call bull excrement.
Not in the slightest way? It's news - a recent poll, and it's weird. I mean, I never went around thinking any party had superior mental health, so it's weird news to me.
and god, those rabbits are huge
They actually rule North Korea now.
CR
HoreTore
12-01-2007, 17:36
They actually rule North Korea now.
Beg your pardon, but North Korea is still communist, have you turned to Marx and Engels lately, CR...? :inquisitive:
woad&fangs
12-01-2007, 17:50
Big rabbits are notoriously communist. Just read the book "Watership Down". The big bunnies form a communist society. It's okay though because Octosquids are Fascists. Communists and Fascists don't get along so we'll have an ally in the upcoming war.
Octosquid Axis of EVil:
Octosquids
Orcas
Zombies
Humans and Allies
Humans
Rabbits
Uesugi Kenshin
12-01-2007, 17:56
Budweiser? Whodathunk?
Perhaps it was actually the excellent Czech beer of the same name, that would make a whole lot more sense to me.
Crazed Rabbit
12-01-2007, 22:07
Beg your pardon, but North Korea is still communist, have you turned to Marx and Engels lately, CR...? :inquisitive:
That's exactly what we want you to think. Remember, we've got nukes now.
W&F - the Orcas definitely aren't going to be on the Octosquid side - Orcas will eat octosquids should they happen upon them. They'll probably just demand we stop fishing salmon for their help.
CR
This exposes the sham Kukri. Our friends is Europe secretly harbour a love affair for the great American beer that is Budwieser, all the while publicly trashing it to cover up their shame. It's like Jim Baker railing against sin while having an affair or politicians denouncing gays whilest hiding in the closet themselves.
I say to our European Orgahs: free yourself from guilt and publicly declare your love for Bud! Confession is good for the soul. :laugh4:
What's this?
Americans make beer now? :laugh4:
Uesugi Kenshin
12-02-2007, 06:41
What's this?
Americans make beer now? :laugh4:
Not really, at least not from what I've tasted, which is relatively little American beer. My dad prefers imported beer because it's "The only real beer you can find around here" except of course this one beer from Maine called "Allagash" which is actually about as good as that Belgian standby Chimay.
Unfortunately both are really freaking expensive.
Gregoshi
12-02-2007, 07:19
What's this?
Americans make beer now? :laugh4:
Ah, a closet Bud drinker. This Bud's for you sapi. ~:cheers:
~;)
What's this?
Americans make beer now? :laugh4:
http://www.yuengling.com/index.htm
:beam:
Gregoshi
12-03-2007, 15:46
Yuengling - brewed in Pottsville Pennsylvania...the town I was born in. :2thumbsup:
Vladimir
12-03-2007, 15:55
Yuengling - brewed in Pottsville Pennsylvania...the town I was born in. :2thumbsup:
I don't get the pun. Some kind of drug reference? :inquisitive:
Geoffrey S
12-03-2007, 16:15
Well, the Dutch police is good for something... police raid on my flat due to suspected firearms possession. In the end, they confiscated:
2 toy guns
1 saw
1 detached table leg
Good job, guys!:2thumbsup:
Vladimir
12-03-2007, 16:17
Well, the Dutch police is good for something... police raid on my flat due to suspected firearms possession. In the end, they confiscated:
2 toy guns
1 saw
1 detached table leg
Good job, guys!:2thumbsup:
Awesome! Is there a news story about it?
Geoffrey S
12-03-2007, 16:35
Probably won't be. All it seems to be is that someone saw a toy firearm hanging on the wall through the window from the street and informed the police. It was all very silly (though an unwelcome surprise at first), something the police at the station realized quickly enough once they started asking a German helmet also found in the room (one of those 'Jetzt geht los' helmets painted green...).
I don't get the pun. Some kind of drug reference? :inquisitive:
I don't think there is one, he just lived there when he was a Jüngling.
Vladimir
12-03-2007, 18:09
Probably won't be. All it seems to be is that someone saw a toy firearm hanging on the wall through the window from the street and informed the police. It was all very silly (though an unwelcome surprise at first), something the police at the station realized quickly enough once they started asking a German helmet also found in the room (one of those 'Jetzt geht los' helmets painted green...).
Someone was spying on you and *your* house was raided? Sounds like weird news to me. You guys really need an anti peeping Tom law.
10 Minutes Of Staring at Boobs Daily Prolongs Man's Life by 5 Years... (http://news.softpedia.com/news/10-Minutes-Of-Staring-Boobs-Daily-Prolongs-Man-039-s-Life-by-5-Years-72490.shtml)
A German research published in New England Journal of Medicine and Weekly World News said that men staring at women's breasts in fact prolong their lives with years.
"Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female such as Baywatch actress Pamela Lee is equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out," said author Dr. Karen Weatherby, a gerontologist.
If that includes the ones in the picture on the page, I'll probably have a short life though. :sweatdrop:
Gregoshi
12-03-2007, 19:57
I don't get the pun. Some kind of drug reference? :inquisitive:
:laugh4: That's the price I pay for punning all the time. No puns this time, just a little trivia Vladimir.
Gregoshi
12-03-2007, 19:59
Someone was spying on you and *your* house was raided? Sounds like weird news to me. You guys really need an anti peeping Tom law.
Little known (and made up) fact: there were actually two "little dutch boys". The first one put his eye up to the hole in the dike... :laugh4:
10 Minutes Of Staring at Boobs Daily Prolongs Man's Life by 5 Years... (http://news.softpedia.com/news/10-Minutes-Of-Staring-Boobs-Daily-Prolongs-Man-039-s-Life-by-5-Years-72490.shtml)
If that includes the ones in the picture on the page, I'll probably have a short life though. :sweatdrop:
does this mean I can deduct the strip club bills as health expenses? :laugh4:
woad&fangs
12-04-2007, 00:07
^^^^^
If there was proper methods used in conducting the study than I don't see why not.
Crazed Rabbit
12-04-2007, 20:36
Woman loses 500 pounds to become a healthy weight again. How did she do it - diet pills, stomach stapling, exercise?
No, no, and no. She did it through the power of The Internets!
Weighing 700 pounds, Nancy Makin had lost hope.
After 12 years of weight gain, Makin had spiraled into despair. The more food she ate, the more shame she felt, and nothing could stop the cycle.
Then one day her sister gave her a computer. Inspired by the friends she'd made online and no longer judged by how she looked, Makin finally took control of the situation.
...
It was the gift of getting online that ultimately let Makin escape her misery.
"Internet provided anonymity. And people who would have rejected me out of hand, based on appearance, got to see my insides."
Before she knew it, the political junkie was surfing through chat rooms and making friends, beginning to find value in herself again. "I was being loved and nurtured by faceless strangers. … Friends accepted who I was based on my mind and soul."
"I was so busy and happy to get up every morning that I like to say I lost weight in my fingers first."
Makin said the psychological transformation was so complete that she lost all that weight without diet pills, exercise or even a diet. She just stopped gorging.
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/BeautySecrets/story?id=3945436&page=1
CR
Teh Internets are good for you. To drive this point home even harder, I present the I Have a Bad Case of Diarrhea (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=miSADG9yihM&) dance.
Crazed Rabbit
12-05-2007, 00:27
:inquisitive: @ Japan.
Anyways, here's a link to a 'picture essay' on a protest at the U of Cali-Berkeley:
http://www.zombietime.com/oak_grove_tree-sit_anniversary/
In 2006, the University of California announced plans to build an athletic training center next to Memorial Stadium on the U.C. Berkeley campus. But the construction of the new building would entail the removal of several trees currently occupying the proposed site. A cry to "Save the trees!" spread throughout the local activist community, and a small protest movement quickly arose to stop the training center. Although everything the university does elicits some kind of protest, this one, as trivial as it might have first appeared, soon became a cause célèbre.
On December 2, 2006, several protesters climbed into the trees to "occupy" them as a way to prevent their destruction (even though there was and remains no imminent plan to cut them down, since the construction is being challenged in court). And since that day, these "tree-sitters" (as they have come to be called) have remained in the trees, becoming celebrities in the process.
And so on December 2, 2007, an anniversay celebration was announced to mark the first birthday of the tree-sit.
One of the many interesting people you'll see:
A "tree sitter"
http://www.zombietime.com/oak_grove_tree-sit_anniversary/IMG_0463.JPG
A Protester
http://www.zombietime.com/oak_grove_tree-sit_anniversary/IMG_0528.JPG
EDIT: The mayor of Seattle tells little children to be energy efficient or Santa, the elves, and all his reindeer will die. (http://www.myfoxdfw.com/myfox/pages/News/Detail?contentId=5080866&version=1&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=TSTY&pageId=3.2.1)
CR
Club issues warning to British pensioner for farting: reports (http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20071205/od_afp/britainpensionerhealthoffbeat;_ylt=Ag.8DfT5OFCn46QKyP97K69vaA8F)
Maurice Fox, 77, received a letter from Kirkham Street Sports and Social Club in Paignton, south-west England, about his overly-audible flatulence, asking him to go outside when necessary.
"It's only a little bit of wind -- it doesn't really hurt anyone. I sit by the door anyway and try to get out when I can. But sometimes it takes me by surprise and just pops out," he said, quoted by The Guardian daily.
While I havent contributed to this thread before I have read it. I couldnt think of a better story to honor my fellow Backroom participants.
:medievalcheers:
InsaneApache
12-05-2007, 14:10
They were just arseing about, blowing off hot air about the stink. Still at least they got to the fundamentals. :smash: :clown:
Gregoshi
12-05-2007, 14:12
As the old saying goes "flatulence will get you nowhere", but contrary to another saying, apparently Fox does not smell his own hole first...
~:wave: <- not waving "hello"
Crazed Rabbit
12-06-2007, 06:32
Someone is rotten in the city of Paignton.
And now, the news:
The Japanese; they decorate differently. (http://www.int.iol.co.za/index.php?click_id=29&art_id=nw20071203100025466C372340&set_id=1)
"I found it sexually arousing to imagine how shocked people would get when spotting the underwear," he said, according to police."
A top British Military Official is pleased with Afghanistan's progress.
And he's got a very funny name. (http://www.metimes.com/Security/2007/11/27/stirrup_pleased_with_afghan_successes/4343/)
Need a Christmas idea your spouse will love?
You may need to get slight very drunk before you start bidding, though. (http://onlineathens.com/stories/120407/living_20071204017.shtml)
This has been your nightly news.
CR
Gregoshi
12-06-2007, 06:48
Police, who had received about 170 complaints from local residents, raided his house
The proverbial panty raid...
British Chief of the Defense Staff Air Chief Marshal Sir Jock Stirrup visited British troops in southern Afghanistan Monday...
Jock supports the ground troops. :2thumbsup:
InsaneApache
12-06-2007, 12:05
Jock supports the ground troops.
.....and Stirrup gives 'em a leg up....
:embarassed:
Odin, welcome to the Weird club. A worthy contribution to our cesspit of news, indeed!
In honor of our newest member, I suggest we all learn from the latest scientific progress: Violent Sex Acts Boost Insect's Immunity System. (http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/90795.php)
Odin, welcome to the Weird club. A worthy contribution to our cesspit of news, indeed!
In honor of our newest member, I suggest we all learn from the latest scientific progress: Violent Sex Acts Boost Insect's Immunity System. (http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/90795.php)
Thanks Lemur Im honored by your acknowledgement. Perticularly the news item posted in my honor as I have often felt my time in the backroom has been just like someone has committed a violent sex act against me. :wiseguy:
Disclaimer: The post above is not meant to make light of violent sex acts or violence against fellow animal in anyway. It was meant exclusively to garnish a laughing reaction from Lemur based on shared expirences here in the backroom in comparisson to the article title.
Look on the bright side, your immune system is probably all buffed up ...
InsaneApache
12-06-2007, 15:56
A postmaster has been asked to pay back £11,000 which was stolen in a raid at his post office branch in Suffolk.
Tony Francis said he was being "robbed twice" after postal bosses asked him to repay cash his wife was forced to hand over at gunpoint to masked men.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/suffolk/7130665.stm
Unfreakinbelievable!!! :dizzy2: :wall:
Crazed Rabbit
12-06-2007, 17:54
Don't they have insurance? Either way, that is crazy.
EDIT: Ham; delicious for Hanukkah. (http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=071206175544.6x5v0npo&show_article=1&image=large)
CR
InsaneApache
12-06-2007, 22:25
Firefighters helped operate on a man who was rushed to hospital after getting a metal ring stuck on the end of his penis.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/manchester/7131532.stm
What a dick. :laugh4:
I'm on a science binge (http://scienceblogs.com/cortex/2007/12/country_music_and_suicide.php):
The results of a multiple regression analysis of 49 metropolitan areas show that the greater the airtime devoted to country music, the greater the white suicide rate. The effect is independent of divorce, southernness, poverty, and gun availability. The existence of a country music subculture is thought to reinforce the link between country music and suicide. Our model explains 51% of the variance in urban white suicide rates.
It's true that when I put on some Willie Nelson I start to get ... feelings ...
ShadesPanther
12-07-2007, 02:04
Randy old Gorilla is put on the pill (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/7130766.stm)
An elderly but amorous female gorilla has been "put on the pill" by Belfast Zoo vets to prevent her becoming pregnant.
Although Delilah,"the grand old dame" of the zoo, is regarded as a gorilla OAP, her behaviour with her male friends continually belies her years.
The zoo's vets have now decided that a pregnancy would be too dangerous for the lively primate.
The spritely 44-year-old is one of the oldest gorillas in captivity anywhere.
Belfast Zoo manager March Challis said that although Delilah was showing signs of arthritis, she was still in great condition for her age.
"It is a reflection of the great quality of care provided by keepers and vets at Belfast Zoo that despite being one of Europe's oldest gorillas, Delilah is fit and healthy and even able to breed at her advanced age," he said.
"This demonstrates a planned and responsible approach to animal care and breeding at the zoo and ensures the continued excellence and best practice towards the welfare of all the zoo's animals, from the latest baby to Delilah, the grand old dame of the zoo."
Although Belfast Zoo are obviously beating their chests about how good they are with Gorillas
Uesugi Kenshin
12-07-2007, 02:32
I'm on a science binge (http://scienceblogs.com/cortex/2007/12/country_music_and_suicide.php):
The results of a multiple regression analysis of 49 metropolitan areas show that the greater the airtime devoted to country music, the greater the white suicide rate. The effect is independent of divorce, southernness, poverty, and gun availability. The existence of a country music subculture is thought to reinforce the link between country music and suicide. Our model explains 51% of the variance in urban white suicide rates.
It's true that when I put on some Willie Nelson I start to get ... feelings ...
I certainly do.
Then again my "mellow" music is classic rock and most of what I listen to falls into some category of metal....
I'm on a science binge (http://scienceblogs.com/cortex/2007/12/country_music_and_suicide.php):
The results of a multiple regression analysis of 49 metropolitan areas show that the greater the airtime devoted to country music, the greater the white suicide rate. The effect is independent of divorce, southernness, poverty, and gun availability. The existence of a country music subculture is thought to reinforce the link between country music and suicide. Our model explains 51% of the variance in urban white suicide rates.
It's true that when I put on some Willie Nelson I start to get ... feelings ...
Have you ever listened to Hank Williams Sr.? Some of the most depressing music ever. There's a tear in my beer...
woad&fangs
12-07-2007, 21:09
Why would anyone want to kill themselves when there are pretty ladies like Taylor Swift out there?
Microsoft pulls plug on Santa (http://www.networkworld.com/news/2007/120407-microsoft-santa-bot.html) when he starts to discuss sex acts and use foul language.
An artificial-intelligence Santa bot operated by Microsoft to talk to children wavered off topic saying: “It’s fun to talk about oral sex, but I want to chat about something else....” [...]
Once the report of the randy Santa broke, questions prodding Santa to give up even more questionable answers took off like eight tiny reindeer.
Users were able to steer Santa into admitting he was gay or that he was a pedophile.
One person said “…..come on you like big hairy men -- don't hide it!” To which Santa responded, “I know, I know. I just hope you won't get mad at me.”
The references to sex acts, first reported by British news outlet The Register, came when the bot was answering questions about eating pizza. At the time, the bot was chatting with two girls age 11 and 13.
Microsoft recently added the corpulent and foul-mouthed artificial Santa as a bot that Windows Live Messenger users could insert into their IM buddy list as northpole@live.com.
The bot would coax users to participate in a friendly game called Factory Frenzy where the user helps out Santa’s elves. But it is the chat where Santa references sex acts and uses phrases such as “dirty ********.”
InsaneApache
12-08-2007, 02:32
“It’s fun to talk about oral sex, but I want to chat about something else....”
My wife told me that 'oral sex' was talking about it!
:sweatdrop: :laugh4:
Crazed Rabbit
12-09-2007, 18:14
Fatal Fight in a Gun Store! (http://lubbockonline.com/stories/081807/loc_081807045.shtml)
Fatal fight between gun shop workers under investigation
HENRI BRICKEY
AVALANCHE-JOURNAL
Police are investigating what led to a fatal fight between two employees at a West Lubbock gun store Thursday.
Wayne Knox, 66, died Thursday after a co-worker stabbed him during a fight at the store.
The stabbing took place at about 5:45 p.m. at Fred's Gun Emporium, 3003 Slide Road. Knox was taken to University Medical Center, where he was pronounced dead, police said.
That's right; a fatal stabbing in a gun store. :dizzy2:
CR
Soulforged
12-09-2007, 18:51
WARNING: Sensitive people stay away from the video...
A very, very, very brave man... (http://www.la-vagancia.com/videos/enormes_bolas/)
Don't mind the link being in spanish, what matters is the video.
Gregoshi
12-09-2007, 21:17
WARNING: Sensitive people stay away from the video...
A very, very, very brave man... (http://www.la-vagancia.com/videos/enormes_bolas/)
Wow. The best response to this has to be immortal lyrics from AC/DC (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YUuyzQDmjY)...
FactionHeir
12-10-2007, 12:35
15 weirdest work headlines of the year by CNN (http://us.cnn.com/2007/LIVING/worklife/12/07/cb.freaks.at.work/index.html)
InsaneApache
12-10-2007, 13:44
Hundreds of crackers due to be sent to soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan had to be defused after it was discovered they were classed as explosives
I loved this quote.....
He told The Sunday Post newspaper: "Every cracker has got to have the snap taken out of it because the RAF won't fly them with the bit still in.
"It's quite tricky to get them out. It took us two hours to go through them all.
"The soldiers will just have to go 'bang' themselves when they pull them."
:laugh4:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/edinburgh_and_east/7135383.stm
Pannonian
12-10-2007, 17:06
Man escapes from killer toilet (http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,,2225312,00.html)
Leggat told the Evening Express: "At least there was a toilet to use. The only thing I regret is not getting trapped behind the bar."
http://afp.google.com/article/ALeqM5hi8-1SumIx9YLDE_hxxwDL8KYdJA
~:pissed: and :shame:
South Korea, most mist sincere apoligies for whatever they are.
Crazed Rabbit
12-12-2007, 08:12
Want a good stock market tip; ingest gold (http://dvice.com/archives/2007/12/gold_pill_makes.php/) to increase your personal net worth.
http://dvice.com/gold.jpg
Crazed Rabbit
InsaneApache
12-12-2007, 09:19
That is very sad Frag. Very sad. :no:
Gregoshi
12-12-2007, 13:53
Want a good stock market tip; ingest gold (http://dvice.com/archives/2007/12/gold_pill_makes.php/) to increase your personal net worth.
Crazed Rabbit
Just eat your carets Rabbit.
Why worry about hurricanes when we can just build a ship that will stop them? No, really. I can't do this website (http://www.ahtfund.org/en/category/index/) justice, you just have to visit. CGI animation set to "We Are the Children."
video anti hurricane technology
Hurricane active technology prevention
Anti-hurricane Technology Fund - Actively, straight muffle hurricane, rise him straight in roads, find his depression, utilize his strength straight against him, let he destroys alone.
Finally, we have know how for anti-hurricane technology,
you have know how to support it, together we will succeed.
Jozef Solc, founder
... hurricane Katrina ... hurricane Ivan ... hurricane Andrew ... hurricane Charley... hurricane Rita ...typhoon Fitow
A N T I H U R R I C A N E
ENERGY from hurricane vs. hurricane
Cats can see in the dark.
Yeah you knew that, but I meant cats YOU can see in the dark. Of course from Asia.
http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/biz/2007/12/123_15447.html
Peasant Phill
12-13-2007, 09:30
I especially liked the music in the background of the promotion video of the anti hurricane video that explaned absolutely nothing.
"We are the world, We are ..."
I bet he'll get a lot of funding.
Vladimir
12-13-2007, 13:49
http://space.newscientist.com/article/dn13043-milky-ways-two-stellar-halos-have-opposing-spins.html
Why is it here?
"This result throws out all our current models of galaxy formation."
Science: Subject to change. :laugh4: :2thumbsup:
Man nearly dies downing vodka at airport (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071212/ap_on_re_eu/airport_vodka)
BERLIN - A man nearly died from alcohol poisoning after quaffing two pints of vodka at an airport security check instead of handing it over to comply with new rules about carrying liquids aboard a plane, police said Wednesday.
The incident occurred Tuesday at the Nuremberg airport, where the 64-year-old man was switching planes on his way home to Dresden from a vacation in Egypt.
Well, what else was he supposed to do? You have to admire his dedication.... :barrel:
Crazed Rabbit
12-13-2007, 18:49
Man pounds beaver to save wife. (http://wcbstv.com/watercooler/Baltimore.County.Loch.2.288009.html)
(yes, its a little old)
CR
InsaneApache
12-13-2007, 21:29
He said that the assailants used a sharp hunting knife, and left the old man alone and bleeding slowly to death.
Local people who found him unconscious alerted the police, who rushed him to hospital in Tirupati.
After regaining consciousness Mr Kondaiah said that he had no idea why he was targeted in such a manner, and did not understand the motive of the miscreants in taking away his leg.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/7142920.stm
Speechless. :sweatdrop:
Vladimir
12-13-2007, 21:38
https://img178.imageshack.us/img178/4645/indieno7.jpg
Don't tell people like this that you have healing powers in your body parts.
seireikhaan
12-14-2007, 00:49
Hmm, is that a Hindu samana?
Geoffrey S
12-14-2007, 01:07
Not funny, but in my opinion undeniably weird.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/7143248.stm
Can't wait to see what reason they give.
InsaneApache
12-14-2007, 01:31
What to say?
I got 'bricked' a few weekends ago, just walking the dog. I grabbed one of the buggers and hauled him back home, only to be told by the police operator that I'd better let him go, or I would be arrested for false imprisonment.
As soon as I realise my assets, I'm outta here.
Peasant Phill
12-14-2007, 09:06
You couldn't take the kid to the police office and file a complaint?
cegorach
12-14-2007, 16:04
A Swiss asks for political asylum in Belorus....
I will be greateful for English info about that here (http://www.tvn24.pl/-1,1532249,wiadomosc.html) you can see it in Polish (his wonderful car is all you need)...
A short info what was all about:
(...) He travelled all the way from Switzerland in his old Lada and told the boder guards that he loves Lenin, communism and Belorus together with Cuba and Venezuela is the greatest country in the world. As a proof he has shown an entire collection of 'The Works of Lenin' he brought from Switzerland. Astonished authorities after much deliberation sent him to an illegal immigrant center and after a couple of days have passed started preparing all the necessary documents to allow him fulfilling his dream. Unfortunatelly after those few days in Belorus the Swiss decided to return to his homeland and was allowed to do so.
Frankly I am speachless...:inquisitive:
Ah yes, we've all heard the stories about oppressed Swiss citizens fleeing to Belorus. If only they can make it past the Hot Chocolate Curtain ...
In other news, I was delighted to stumble across a selection of the weirdest sexual harassment cases (http://www.hrworld.com/features/top-20-sexual-harassment-cases-121307/) of all time:
S.A.C. Capital Advisors LCC: Major hedge-fund company S.A.C. Capital Advisors, founded in the early 1990s, is a "$14 billion dollar group of multi-strategy, multi-discipline" company. Yet in 2007, a scandal erupted that "stunned" Wall Street. Former S.A.C. Capital Advisors employee Andrew Tong filed suit against his supervisor Ping Jiang, whom is said to have forced Tong into taking female hormones and wearing female clothing in order "to eliminate the trader’s aggressive male attitude so he could become a more obedient and detail-oriented player" at work, The New York Times reports. According to CNBC, S.A.C. Capital Advisors and Ping Jiang "vehemently deny the charges" and have reached no settlement with Tong.
Koko the Gorilla: Koko the gorilla resides in comfort at Woodside, Calif.-based The Gorilla Foundation. Koko the gorilla has also been involved in a grotesque sexual-harassment case along with her handlers and their supervisor. Court TV reports that "former gorilla caretakers Nancy Alperin and Kendra Keller asked for more than $1 million in damages in their sexual discrimination and wrongful termination suit," which claims that the two women were forced to expose their breasts to the gorilla in order to indulge her fetish. Alperin and Keller maintained that they were fired when they refused to show their breasts to the gorilla, but they ultimately reached a settlement with the foundation.
6-Year Old Boy v. Brockton School District: How old do you have to be in order to stand accused of sexual harassment? In this particular case, involving the Brockton School District near Boston, you only have to be 6 years old. The elementary school boy was apparently found with "his hand inside the waistband of a girl's pants, touching the skin on her back," a violation of the school's sexual-harassment policy. According to the boy's mother, however, her son "doesn't even know what that word 'sexual' is. I don't see how I'm going to explain it to him," she added. Though the school wished to press charges, the district attorney's office deemed the boy too young to be prosecuted.
Japanese Beard Pluckers: A female employee in Japan complained that her boss sexually harassed her when he "forced [her] to pluck his beard." According to the Legal Herald, the man "was fined $5,000 for his conduct."
Swedish lion castrated (http://www.upi.com/NewsTrack/Quirks/2007/12/14/heraldic_lion_lopped_after_women_complain/6567/) in response to soldiers' complaints.
Heraldic lion lopped after women complain
STOCKHOLM, Sweden, Dec. 14 -- Protests from women soldiers prompted Swedish military leaders to amputate the penis of a heraldic lion on the Nordic Battlegroup's coat of arms.
The armed forces castrated the lion after women from the rapid reaction force complained to the European Court of Justice, The Local reported. The operation was done with the aid of a computer.
While the army's action was happy to snip away at gender equity, the artist who designed the insignia was cut to the quick.
"A heraldic lion is a powerful and stately figure with its genitalia intact and I cannot approve an edited image," said Vladimir Sagerlund from the National Archives.
And a neutered heraldic lion actually does mean something, Sagerlund said.
"Once upon a time coats of arms containing lions without genitalia were given to those who betrayed the crown," he said.
The Nordic Battlegroup is one of 18 such military groups in the European Union.
Crazed Rabbit
12-15-2007, 10:28
So they're protesting against the anatomy of animals, now? :dizzy2:
Anyway, speaking of Sweden, if you are going to have a surgical operation there, take the standard precaution of getting a sprinkler system installed on yourself:
http://www.thelocal.se/9388/20071212/
Woman catches fire during hemorrhoid operation
CR
cegorach
12-15-2007, 10:37
What about the mane - only male liions have it -
I demand the lion to be shaved !:yes:
Peasant Phill
12-15-2007, 11:17
Political correctness, gah.
Good, no gender discrimination, I take it these powerbabes are showering with the boys from now on?
Good, no gender discrimination, I take it these powerbabes are showering with the boys from now on?
:laugh4:
I agree, there are too many discriminations left, for example why is it women and children first and the captain last when a ship sinks? The best approach would be an anarchic attempt where the strongest conquer the boats for themselves, natural selection anyone? :inquisitive:
Of course now without visible genitals and once the mane is removed one could assume the lion is female, that would be discriminating against men, wouldn't it? Maybe they should leave the space blank or use a snail, they're gender neutral. :laugh4:
cegorach
12-15-2007, 13:25
Thanks to the decign I am sure the soldiers will proudly and ferociously fight like lions snails now.:2thumbsup:
Still it is better than a castrated or transgender lion, I belive...
Evil_Maniac From Mars
12-15-2007, 17:29
So they're protesting against the anatomy of animals, now? :dizzy2:
Anyway, speaking of Sweden, if you are going to have a surgical operation there, take the standard precaution of getting a sprinkler system installed on yourself:
http://www.thelocal.se/9388/20071212/
CR
She later made several return visits to the hospital in order to be treated for her new injuries.
:inquisitive:
How many five year-olds can you take in a fight? (http://www.howmanyfiveyearoldscouldyoutakeinafight.com/) Take the survey and find out.
According to the site, I could take 29 five year olds. I did well on the physique/training section, but I probably lowered my score badly when I hit the morality questions.
woad&fangs
12-15-2007, 21:28
I could take 10.
English assassin
12-15-2007, 21:38
Christmas just wouldn't be Christmas without a festive list of weird cases
http://business.timesonline.co.uk/tol/business/law/article2741049.ece
Not all of them are that amusing, but this one caught my eye...
5. In 2005, the Massachusetts Appeals Court was asked to rule on when a sexual technique was dangerous. Early one morning, a man and woman in a long-term relationship were engaged in consensual intercourse. During the passionate event, and, without the man’s consent, the woman suddenly manoeuvred herself in a way that caused him to suffer a penile fracture. Emergency surgery was required. The court ruled that while “reckless” sexual conduct may be actionable, “merely negligent” conduct was not. It dismissed the man’s case.
Sadly my immediate reaction was to think that, while it is good that one owes ones sexual partner a duty of care, why is the standard set so low? Volenti non fit injuria?
Ahem. That would have been funny in the 19th century I assure you.
Also, a REALLY INTERESTING line of tort cases has been choked off at birth here.
English assassin
12-15-2007, 21:45
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/7132124.stm
A judge in India has summoned two Hindu gods, Ram and Hanuman, to help resolve a property dispute.
Judge Sunil Kumar Singh in the eastern state of Jharkhand has issued adverts in newspapers asking the gods to "appear before the court personally".
The gods have been asked to appear before the court on Tuesday, after the judge said that letters addressed to them had gone unanswered.
Yeah, yeah, the court has the balls to summon the gods. But has it got the balls to cross examine them when they appear? Come to think of it how would they even take the oath? "I Ram, swear to, well, me, actually, that the testimony I will give...."
24, because I'd throw my morals away and am only mediocre physically speaking. ~;)
Crazed Rabbit
12-16-2007, 00:59
The site says I could take on 30 kindergarteners and win. But I had to throw away my morals to do so and I don't know if I really could eye gouge little kids, even if they were merciless and attacking me.
CR
Marshal Murat
12-16-2007, 04:45
Swimming Kangaroo killed by Shark (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7142453.stm)
Kangaroo killed by Shark.
Never thought I'd hear that headline.
Just to test the parameters of the Five Year Old test, I took it once answering everything with the wimpiest possible answers, and got 1. Then I re-took the test answering everything as if I were Chuck Norris on crack, and got 39. So I guess the author of the test doesn't believe it's possible to beat 40 five year olds in a fair fight. Hmmm ....
Uesugi Kenshin
12-16-2007, 05:19
Just to test the parameters of the Five Year Old test, I took it once answering everything with the wimpiest possible answers, and got 1. Then I re-took the test answering everything as if I were Chuck Norris on crack, and got 39. So I guess the author of the test doesn't believe it's possible to beat 40 five year olds in a fair fight. Hmmm ....
Let's go test that Lemur. Anyone have 40 bloodthirsty 5 year olds?
Gregoshi
12-16-2007, 21:12
From the creators of Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader? and Jackass comes the new "hit" show Can You Beat Up A Five Year Old?
BTW, I scored 13 which is more than I figured.
And now for my first article contribution to this thread and with apologies to KukriKhan:
The United States Postal Service - We Deliver...Eventually (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071214/ap_on_fe_st/odd_long_lost_card)
I can take 28 of the little whiny maggots!!!
bring them on!!! :laugh4:
CountArach
12-17-2007, 07:06
I can take 19 5 year olds.
Louis VI the Fat
12-17-2007, 12:44
I did the test too!!
'You can take on 1.5 five year olds at once. You are, however, so morally depraved that we suggest you employ the other 38.5 as your drug runners.'
InsaneApache
12-17-2007, 13:28
I 'took' 23 of the little blighters. :embarassed:
24, but I think I could take on more. Bring the little rugrats on!
I should have made the Five Year Old its own thread. Stupid Lemur!
-edit-
Housing crisis getting you down? Why not invest in the hottest land market on Earth? Or rather, close to earth (http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSEIC76452320071217?)?
Property bust? Lunar land prices are rocketing
LONDON - Property investors smarting from this year's housing bust in the United States might do well to look farther afield -- even out of this world.
Internet searches for lunar land prices show the cost of buying an acre of the moon's surface has risen 40 percent since the start of 2007, investment bank UBS told clients in a tongue-in-cheek analysis.
Lacing a year-end note with caveats, and not a little holiday cheer, UBS strategists said their "esoteric research" of archived news reports suggests lunar property trends may even be a leading indicator of U.S. house prices.
Rising sharply between 1997 and 2001, the cost of a slice of land on the moon suffered a mid-cycle retreat in 2002-03 after the dot.com bubble burst, the bank said.
But prices defied gravity to hit record highs of $37 per acre in December 2005 -- nine months before U.S. housing peaked.
Their fall to earth was a step ahead too, with lunar prices dropping 56 percent to $16 per acre between 2005 and January 2007, the report said.
"Our calculations suggest lunar land prices appear to be a reasonable lead indicator of U.S. house prices by around 12 months. This suggests a trough in U.S. house prices may occur around the beginning of 2008," the bank said.
Quick to caution against "preliminary" conclusions, UBS added: "This is most certainly not a forecast."
United Nations' treaties insist governments cannot claim ownership of the moon. But attempts to close a loophole allowing individuals or firms to do so have failed to garner support.
U.S. President George W. Bush announced in 2004 that the United States plans to send astronauts back to the moon by 2020.
But, citing claims by a "leading lunar real estate agent," the UBS report said Germans are already the number one owners of moon property -- followed by Swedes, English and Poles.
Pavement sex teenager sentenced. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/south_of_scotland/7148242.stm)
A teenager who simulated sex on a pavement in the Scottish Borders has been put on probation for 12 months.
Steven Marshall, 18, of Woodstock Avenue, Galashiels, admitted a charge of public indecency on 17 June.
Selkirk Sheriff Court was told how he got into a press-up position with his trousers down on his home street and simulated sexual intercourse.
The court heard Marshall was "very ashamed" and it was decided not to put him on the sex offenders' register.
Procurator fiscal Graham Fraser said the teenager had been spotted by two people - one of them a young woman who lived nearby - while they were driving along Woodstock Avenue at about 2030 BST.
"They saw the accused lying on his back on the pavement jerking around," he said.
"As they drove past they could see his trousers were down at his knees.
"When the woman looked back he had turned onto his front and was in the press-up position on the pavement simulating sexual intercourse."
The incident ended when a neighbour arrived on the scene and took Marshall back home.
"He seems to have no recollection of this while being interviewed by police," said Mr Fraser.
"It is a regrettable incident resulting from a combination of alcohol and medical problems.
"He exposed himself to risk and no doubt caused upset to those who saw it."
However, Marshall's lawyer successfully argued there was not a significant sexual aspect to the case.
As a result Sheriff Kevin Drummond decided not to place his name on the sex offenders' register although he described his behaviour as "bizarre".
Mark Harrower, defending, told the court that Marshall had an arthritis condition which required medication and had been drinking to excess.
"He does appear very ashamed about it and very shocked at his behaviour," he said.
Sheriff Drummond accepted that sex was not the main motivation of the incident.
'Drunken prank'
"Anyone who lies on the road in the daylight, is significantly intoxicated and is partially undressed has a problem," he said.
"This was plainly a drunken episode in which you caused distress to members of the public but I accept your behaviour was not primarily sexually motivated.
"This may have been a drunken prank."
He said he did not consider the public needed to be protected from Marshall.
However, he warned him he had come close to being put on the sex offenders' register through his excessive use of alcohol.
Anyone who lies on the road in the daylight, is significantly intoxicated and is partially undressed has a problem.
Gregoshi
12-18-2007, 14:20
A teenager who simulated sex on a pavement in the Scottish Borders has been put on probation for 12 months.
On the bright side, it's probably been quite a while since the pavement was laid. :eyebrows:
English assassin
12-18-2007, 14:31
On the bright side, it's probably been quite a while since the pavement was laid. :eyebrows:
Thanks a bunch. Anyone got any tips how to get coffee out of keyboards? :laugh4:
New York Times: Blackwater shot our dog (http://www.reuters.com/article/topNews/idUSL1819755220071218).
New York Times in Iraq: "Blackwater shot our dog"
Tue Dec 18, 2007 2:05pm EST
BAGHDAD - The U.S. embassy in Iraq is investigating another deadly shooting incident involving its Blackwater bodyguards -- this time of the New York Times's dog.
Staff at the newspaper's Baghdad bureau said Blackwater bodyguards shot Hentish dead last week before a visit by a U.S. diplomat to the Times compound.
Blackwater spokeswoman Anne Tyrrell said the dog had attacked one of Blackwater's bomb-sniffer dogs while a security team was sweeping the compound for explosives.
"The K-9 handler made several unsuccessful attempts to get the dog to retreat, including placing himself between the dogs. When those efforts failed, the K-9 handler unfortunately was forced to use a pistol to protect the company's K-9 and himself," she said in an e-mail to Reuters.
The U.S. embassy employs about 1,000 armed Blackwater staff to protect American diplomats in Baghdad.
The firm's role became a serious issue in Iraqi-U.S. relations when its guards opened fire on a Baghdad street in September, killing 17 people. Blackwater says its employees acted lawfully in that incident, which is under investigation.
State Department investigators have made two follow-up visits to the Times compound to investigate the shooting of Hentish, correspondent Alissa Rubin said.
"They were very solicitous and I thought took the incident very seriously," Rubin said. "It's not a dog that everyone's close to in the compound.
"But it's a dog that's been around a long time. It lived its whole life there."
Men in Maryland are real men (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071219/ap_on_fe_st/odd_deer_scuffle):
Man wrestles with, subdues deer
MONROVIA, Md. - A man subdued a deer that ran through the front picture window of his house. Martin "Pete" Castle wrestled the beast to the floor in the living room, and carried it out through the garage door, when Frederick County Animal Control officers took over.
"My couch is ruined," says Castle's wife, Robin. She had to clean blood off her computer, printer and coffee table.
Pete Castle was in the garage when the deer entered the house though a hole no bigger than a large steering wheel on Saturday morning.
The deer ran to the back of the house, Castle said, and it tried to escape through sliding glass doors.
The deer tore the curtains down, then jumped into a second picture window, but fell backward on the couch.
"That's when I went on her," Castle said. "I jumped on this deer."
Sorry for the triple post, but we are in a very rich Weird News cycle.
Santa Claus sexually molested by woman on crutches (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071218/ap_on_fe_st/odd_santa_groped).
Woman accused of groping mall Santa
Tue Dec 18, 5:38 PM ET
DANBURY, Conn. - Santa Claus says that a woman who sat on his lap was naughty, not nice. A Santa at the Danbury Fair mall said the woman groped him. "The security officer at the mall said Santa Claus has been sexually assaulted," police Detective Lt. Thomas Michael said of the weekend complaint.
Sandrama Lamy, 33, of Danbury, was charged with sexual assault and breach of peace. She was released on a promise to appear in court on Jan. 3.
Police quickly found and identified Lamy because the woman was described as being on crutches, said Capt. Bob Myles.
A call seeking comment from Lamy was answered by a recording Tuesday morning. A woman later called back and said: "It's a false report and I don't have any idea."
Police did not give the name of the disconcerted Santa, but they said he is 65 and felt badly because children were waiting to see him. "He was apparently shocked and embarrassed by the whole incident," Myles said.
A man who teaches hundreds of prospective Santas a year — "Santa Tim" Connaghan, president of RealSantas.com — said he's never heard of a similar incident, though it's not unusual for adults to want to pose with Santa.
"I've had some very nice ladies sit on my lap," said Connaghan, who did not train the Danbury Fair Santa. "Once in a while they'll say 'I hope Mrs. Claus isn't going to be upset.' You have to be discreet and kind and say 'Oh no, she'll be OK. You can sit here, but only for one photo.'"
A spokeswoman for Cherry Hill Photo, the company that coordinates Santas for Danbury Fair, declined to comment Tuesday.
FactionHeir
12-19-2007, 12:08
Hungry this Christmas? Ask the customs officer if he has detonated your food! (http://www.stern.de/politik/panorama/:Weihnachtspakete-Wenn-US-Z%F6llner-Christstollen/605680.html) (Article in German)
Von Susanne Härpfer
Weihnachtsstollen in die USA zu schicken, ist kein Spaß. Denn zuerst müssen sie durch den Zoll, der bis zu 13-seitige Anmeldebögen verlangt - pro Backwerk. Weil das aber auch biologische Kampfstoffe enthalten könnte, werden die Kalorienbomben im Zweifel gesprengt.
Der Christstollen ist eine Bombe. Doch nicht die darin enthaltenen Kalorien machen amerikanischen Zöllnern zu schaffen. Auch nicht Plastiksprengstoff, der so aussieht, als sei er Marzipan. Sondern biologische und chemische Kampfstoffe, die - getarnt als Weihnachtsgebäck - die USA dahinraffen könnten. Das ist keine Spekulation, sondern die amerikanische Heimatschutzbehörde hat solche Angst vor fremdem Spekulatius, dass er angemeldet werden muss. Ebenso wie Weihnachtsmann und Honigkuchenpferd. Das ist Gesetz: "Public Health Security and Bio-Terrorism Preparedness and Response Act" heißt es umständlich und hat besonders zu Weihnachten und Ostern gravierende Folgen.
Denn jeder, der in die Vereinigten Staaten ein "Überlebenspaket" mit heimatlichem Lebkuchen, Dominosteinen oder später Osterhasen schicken will, ist ein potenzieller Terrorist und muss seine Post vor dem Abschicken bei der amerikanischen Gesundheitsbehörde FDA (Federal Drug Administration) registrieren lassen. Und die meldet das dann weiter an den Zoll (Customs and border protection, kurz CBP). So will es auch das geänderte Handelsgesetz (Trade Act). Das ist zwar seit 2004 in Kraft, aber bis heute ist nicht wirklich klar, was wirklich "law and order" ist. Zunächst einmal muss man überhaupt wissen, dass Puderzucker nun unter Anthrax-Verdacht steht. Erkundigt sich die deutsche Oma dann bei der Deutschen Post, wiegt man sie in Sicherheit: Für Privatpersonen gelten die strengen Regeln nicht. Weit gefehlt, meldet hingegen die Amerikanische Botschaft. Und die muss es schließlich wissen.
Lebensmittel müssen registriert werden
Dort heißt es, wer Lebensmittel, und dazu zählen auch Weihnachtsmann & Co, in einem Geschäft erwirbt und in die USA expediert, der muss dies sehr wohl bei der FDA registrieren lassen. Ausgenommen sei nur, wer seinen Kuchen selbst backe und ihn dann verschicke. Welchen Sinn das machen soll, verrät die Homepage der Botschaft nicht. Denn wenn al Kaida seine Weihnachtsbäckerei der besonderen Art anwürfe, würde dieses Schlupfloch in der Regelung die Arbeit der Terroristen erleichtern. Nachfragen bei FDA und CBP ergaben darauf keine Antworten.
Sollte die Modell-Oma jetzt noch nicht entmutigt sein, wartet die nächste Hürde auf sie. Die Anmeldung. Denn dafür gibt es, allen Beamten zum Trotz, kein schriftliches Formular. Die Oma, die nicht mit den amerikanischen Gesetzen in Konflikt geraten will, braucht das Internet. Der Enkel kann ja helfen. Doch der sollte hervorragende Englisch-Kenntnisse besitzen. Oder wahlweise Hindi oder Malay sprechen, denn in diesen Sprachen ist die Registrierung gehalten. Deutsch? Fehlanzeige.
Was heißt Aachener Printe auf Englisch?
Was aber heißt in diesen Sprachen Aachener Printe oder Elisen-Lebkuchen? Was die alles wissen wollen. Gefragt wird nach dem Code, nur welcher ist gemeint? Und die Registriernummer des Herstellers wird erbeten. Mindestens aber die Anschrift. Sollten Oma und Enkel jetzt noch nicht vor lauter Frust das Naschwerk selbst aufgefuttert haben, erhalten sie eine Nummer. Die muss auf dem Paket angebracht werden. Dann aber hurtig. Binnen fünf Tagen hat das Paket auf dem Weg zu sein, denn in dieser Zeit müssen alle Daten elektronisch vorab übermittelt werden. Geht irgendetwas schief, oder wagt es jemand, einfach so wie früher sein Fresspaket zu schicken, muss damit rechnen, dass seine Zimtsterne nie ankommen.
Renate Bromund-Gusy und Hans Sirvinskas haben es erlebt. Ihr Päckchen erhielten sie nach Monaten zurück, völlig ramponiert. Und die Kekse hatten offenbar todesmutige Terrorfahnder einer solch intensiven "Prüfung" unterzogen, dass nur noch Krümel übrig waren. Im Internet berichtet eine "rolffine" von ähnlichen Erfahrungen. Auch der Dresdner Bäcker Marlon Gnauck kennt Kunden, die nicht seinen Versandservice in Anspruch nahmen, sondern selber verschickten - ohne FDA-Anmeldung: "Die Päckchen kamen nie an."
Die Beamten können auch ein Auge zudrücken
Sie hatten noch Glück. Denn herrenlose Gepäckstücke werden gesprengt. Verdächtige Päckchen auch. Tausende Christstollen, die in die Luft fliegen, haben offenbar einige Beamte nachdenklich werden lassen. Deshalb gibt es eine Kann-Regelung. Die ist butterweich. Den Beamten obliegt es, ob sie "die Augen zudrücken" (exercise descretion) - oder eben nicht. Jeder unangemeldete Stollen kann schließlich die nationale Sicherheit gefährden und stellt den Beamten vor eine Gewissensfrage. Wer will schon für Tausende Tote verantwortlich sein, nur weil er ein paar Keks-Kringel hat durchschlüpfen lassen.
Stollen verschicken ohne FDA-Registrierung ist ein riskantes Spiel. Stollen verschicken mit FDA-Registrierung aber auch - wenn man ein Betrieb ist. Dann gelten nämlich noch härtere Regelungen. Nur das Formular ist für Privatpersonen dasselbe wie für Firmen. Aber die verschicken nicht nur einen Kuchen, sondern Tausende, und für jede einzelne Sendung muss ein mehrseitiges Internet-Formular ausgefüllt werden. Für ein Produkt sind das 13 Internet-Seiten.
Heikel wird es bei Pfefferkuchenhäusern
"Wenn aber ein Kunde einen Stollen und Lebkuchen möchte, sind es bereits 20 Seiten. Und wehe, wenn einer ein buntes Sortiment möchte", klagt Elisabeth Kreutzkamm-Aumüller von der Dresdner Backhaus GmbH. Heikel wird es zum Beispiel bei Pfefferkuchenhäusern, weiß Marlon Gnauck. Denn Pfefferkuchen gelten beim US-Zoll als extra Rubrik - nur die CBP weiß warum - und für die Gummibärchen, die meist auf dem Dach kleben, muss die Produktnummer erfragt werden. Von Schikane sprechen daher die kleinen Bäckerei-Betriebe. Für viele lohnt sich das Versenden seitdem nicht mehr.
Bis zu einer Million Dollar-Kaution müssen von Großbetrieben hinterlegt werden, als Sicherheit für etwaige Schadensersatzansprüche. Lebkuchenversender beschäftigten Angestellte damit, sich monatelang in die komplizierten Regeln einzuarbeiten. "Wenn ich strikt nach dem Gesetz vorgehen würde, bekäme ich kein einziges Päckchen ans Ziel", resümiert ein Marzipanversender. Um das Amerika-Geschäft nicht zu gefährden, mag er seinen Namen nicht nennen.
"Wenn Sie nach Australien verschicken, ist es noch schlimmer"
Aber trickreich muss er vorgehen, will er seine Marzipankartoffeln ins Land der Couch-Potatoes einführen. Marlon Gnauck musste sich in den USA als exportierende Firma registrieren lassen und dort einen Agenten nehmen, der 24 Stunden erreichbar sein muss. Wohlgemerkt, um Plätzchen zu transportieren, nicht Plastiksprengstoff. Der Agent aber braucht keinerlei speziellen Voraussetzungen, durchläuft keinen besonderen Security-Check - unlogische Terrorgesetze.
Trotzdem habe er sich mit der Regelung abgefunden, sagt Gnauck: "Wenn Sie nach Australien verschicken, ist es noch schlimmer", meint der Dresdner Bäcker. "Da kommt Ihr Stollen für zwei bis drei Tage in Quarantäne, meine sind bislang nur geröntgt worden." Man kann auch die Kirche im Dorf, respektive das Lebkuchenhäuschen im Land lassen: Das amerikanische Botschafter-Paar Sue und William R. Timken jedenfalls hat ihr Lebkuchenhäuschen nicht in ihr Heimatland verschickt, sondern Obdachlosen gespendet.
This makes me very, very happy: Judge rules in favor of man who called his superiors "drunken lemurs." (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071219/ap_on_fe_st/dilbert_comic)
Judge backs man who posted 'Dilbert'
Wed Dec 19, 9:49 AM ET
DES MOINES, Iowa - An administrative law judge has sided with a man who was fired from the Catfish Bend Casino in Burlington after posting a "Dilbert" comic strip on an office bulletin board.
During a recent hearing for unemployment benefits, David Steward's bosses said he implied they were a bunch of "drunken lemurs."
According to state records, Steward posted the "Dilbert" comic in late October. It was shortly after officials announced the casino would close.
In the strip, Dilbert and another character are shown having the following exchange:
"Why does it seem as if most of the decisions in my workplace are made by drunken lemurs?"
"Decisions are made by people who have time, not people who have talent."
"Why are talented people so busy?"
"They're fixing the problems made by people who have time."
After the comic was posted, casino managers reviewed surveillance tapes and determined Steward was responsible. He was fired, and the casino subsequently challenged his claim for unemployment benefits.
At the hearing, Steve Morley, the casino's human resources director, testified that management found the cartoon to be "very offensive" and fired Steward as a result.
"Basically, he was accusing the decision-makers of being drunken lemurs," Morley testified. "We consider that misconduct when you insult your employer."
Steward testified that he posted the comic partly because of the impending layoffs.
"I thought maybe it would cheer some people up," he said. "I found it humorous."
Administrative Law Judge Lynette Donner sided with Steward, ruling the posting of the comic strip represented "a good-faith error in judgment," not intentional misbehavior.
"Dilbert" is famous for satirizing managerial incompetence.
Its creator, Scott Adams, said Steward's dismissal might be the first confirmed instance of a worker being fired for posting a "Dilbert" strip in the workplace.
http://www.nieuwnieuws.nl/archives/images/IndohyusGr.jpg
Meet the ancestor of the whale.
Meet the ancestor of the whale.
The similarities are obvious.
Whale/sea, talk about blue http://abclocal.go.com/kfsn/story?section=news/local&id=5843725
Gregoshi
12-20-2007, 20:54
Poppa Smurf lives!!
There's too many obvious, naughty and bad puns based off "blue", so I'm staying clear of this one.
Uesugi Kenshin
12-21-2007, 01:39
Hungry this Christmas? Ask the customs officer if he has detonated your food! (http://www.stern.de/politik/panorama/:Weihnachtspakete-Wenn-US-Z%F6llner-Christstollen/605680.html) (Article in German)
Von Susanne Härpfer
Weihnachtsstollen in die USA zu schicken, ist kein Spaß. Denn zuerst müssen sie durch den Zoll, der bis zu 13-seitige Anmeldebögen verlangt - pro Backwerk. Weil das aber auch biologische Kampfstoffe enthalten könnte, werden die Kalorienbomben im Zweifel gesprengt.
Der Christstollen ist eine Bombe. Doch nicht die darin enthaltenen Kalorien machen amerikanischen Zöllnern zu schaffen. Auch nicht Plastiksprengstoff, der so aussieht, als sei er Marzipan. Sondern biologische und chemische Kampfstoffe, die - getarnt als Weihnachtsgebäck - die USA dahinraffen könnten. Das ist keine Spekulation, sondern die amerikanische Heimatschutzbehörde hat solche Angst vor fremdem Spekulatius, dass er angemeldet werden muss. Ebenso wie Weihnachtsmann und Honigkuchenpferd. Das ist Gesetz: "Public Health Security and Bio-Terrorism Preparedness and Response Act" heißt es umständlich und hat besonders zu Weihnachten und Ostern gravierende Folgen.
Denn jeder, der in die Vereinigten Staaten ein "Überlebenspaket" mit heimatlichem Lebkuchen, Dominosteinen oder später Osterhasen schicken will, ist ein potenzieller Terrorist und muss seine Post vor dem Abschicken bei der amerikanischen Gesundheitsbehörde FDA (Federal Drug Administration) registrieren lassen. Und die meldet das dann weiter an den Zoll (Customs and border protection, kurz CBP). So will es auch das geänderte Handelsgesetz (Trade Act). Das ist zwar seit 2004 in Kraft, aber bis heute ist nicht wirklich klar, was wirklich "law and order" ist. Zunächst einmal muss man überhaupt wissen, dass Puderzucker nun unter Anthrax-Verdacht steht. Erkundigt sich die deutsche Oma dann bei der Deutschen Post, wiegt man sie in Sicherheit: Für Privatpersonen gelten die strengen Regeln nicht. Weit gefehlt, meldet hingegen die Amerikanische Botschaft. Und die muss es schließlich wissen.
Lebensmittel müssen registriert werden
Dort heißt es, wer Lebensmittel, und dazu zählen auch Weihnachtsmann & Co, in einem Geschäft erwirbt und in die USA expediert, der muss dies sehr wohl bei der FDA registrieren lassen. Ausgenommen sei nur, wer seinen Kuchen selbst backe und ihn dann verschicke. Welchen Sinn das machen soll, verrät die Homepage der Botschaft nicht. Denn wenn al Kaida seine Weihnachtsbäckerei der besonderen Art anwürfe, würde dieses Schlupfloch in der Regelung die Arbeit der Terroristen erleichtern. Nachfragen bei FDA und CBP ergaben darauf keine Antworten.
Sollte die Modell-Oma jetzt noch nicht entmutigt sein, wartet die nächste Hürde auf sie. Die Anmeldung. Denn dafür gibt es, allen Beamten zum Trotz, kein schriftliches Formular. Die Oma, die nicht mit den amerikanischen Gesetzen in Konflikt geraten will, braucht das Internet. Der Enkel kann ja helfen. Doch der sollte hervorragende Englisch-Kenntnisse besitzen. Oder wahlweise Hindi oder Malay sprechen, denn in diesen Sprachen ist die Registrierung gehalten. Deutsch? Fehlanzeige.
Was heißt Aachener Printe auf Englisch?
Was aber heißt in diesen Sprachen Aachener Printe oder Elisen-Lebkuchen? Was die alles wissen wollen. Gefragt wird nach dem Code, nur welcher ist gemeint? Und die Registriernummer des Herstellers wird erbeten. Mindestens aber die Anschrift. Sollten Oma und Enkel jetzt noch nicht vor lauter Frust das Naschwerk selbst aufgefuttert haben, erhalten sie eine Nummer. Die muss auf dem Paket angebracht werden. Dann aber hurtig. Binnen fünf Tagen hat das Paket auf dem Weg zu sein, denn in dieser Zeit müssen alle Daten elektronisch vorab übermittelt werden. Geht irgendetwas schief, oder wagt es jemand, einfach so wie früher sein Fresspaket zu schicken, muss damit rechnen, dass seine Zimtsterne nie ankommen.
Renate Bromund-Gusy und Hans Sirvinskas haben es erlebt. Ihr Päckchen erhielten sie nach Monaten zurück, völlig ramponiert. Und die Kekse hatten offenbar todesmutige Terrorfahnder einer solch intensiven "Prüfung" unterzogen, dass nur noch Krümel übrig waren. Im Internet berichtet eine "rolffine" von ähnlichen Erfahrungen. Auch der Dresdner Bäcker Marlon Gnauck kennt Kunden, die nicht seinen Versandservice in Anspruch nahmen, sondern selber verschickten - ohne FDA-Anmeldung: "Die Päckchen kamen nie an."
Die Beamten können auch ein Auge zudrücken
Sie hatten noch Glück. Denn herrenlose Gepäckstücke werden gesprengt. Verdächtige Päckchen auch. Tausende Christstollen, die in die Luft fliegen, haben offenbar einige Beamte nachdenklich werden lassen. Deshalb gibt es eine Kann-Regelung. Die ist butterweich. Den Beamten obliegt es, ob sie "die Augen zudrücken" (exercise descretion) - oder eben nicht. Jeder unangemeldete Stollen kann schließlich die nationale Sicherheit gefährden und stellt den Beamten vor eine Gewissensfrage. Wer will schon für Tausende Tote verantwortlich sein, nur weil er ein paar Keks-Kringel hat durchschlüpfen lassen.
Stollen verschicken ohne FDA-Registrierung ist ein riskantes Spiel. Stollen verschicken mit FDA-Registrierung aber auch - wenn man ein Betrieb ist. Dann gelten nämlich noch härtere Regelungen. Nur das Formular ist für Privatpersonen dasselbe wie für Firmen. Aber die verschicken nicht nur einen Kuchen, sondern Tausende, und für jede einzelne Sendung muss ein mehrseitiges Internet-Formular ausgefüllt werden. Für ein Produkt sind das 13 Internet-Seiten.
Heikel wird es bei Pfefferkuchenhäusern
"Wenn aber ein Kunde einen Stollen und Lebkuchen möchte, sind es bereits 20 Seiten. Und wehe, wenn einer ein buntes Sortiment möchte", klagt Elisabeth Kreutzkamm-Aumüller von der Dresdner Backhaus GmbH. Heikel wird es zum Beispiel bei Pfefferkuchenhäusern, weiß Marlon Gnauck. Denn Pfefferkuchen gelten beim US-Zoll als extra Rubrik - nur die CBP weiß warum - und für die Gummibärchen, die meist auf dem Dach kleben, muss die Produktnummer erfragt werden. Von Schikane sprechen daher die kleinen Bäckerei-Betriebe. Für viele lohnt sich das Versenden seitdem nicht mehr.
Bis zu einer Million Dollar-Kaution müssen von Großbetrieben hinterlegt werden, als Sicherheit für etwaige Schadensersatzansprüche. Lebkuchenversender beschäftigten Angestellte damit, sich monatelang in die komplizierten Regeln einzuarbeiten. "Wenn ich strikt nach dem Gesetz vorgehen würde, bekäme ich kein einziges Päckchen ans Ziel", resümiert ein Marzipanversender. Um das Amerika-Geschäft nicht zu gefährden, mag er seinen Namen nicht nennen.
"Wenn Sie nach Australien verschicken, ist es noch schlimmer"
Aber trickreich muss er vorgehen, will er seine Marzipankartoffeln ins Land der Couch-Potatoes einführen. Marlon Gnauck musste sich in den USA als exportierende Firma registrieren lassen und dort einen Agenten nehmen, der 24 Stunden erreichbar sein muss. Wohlgemerkt, um Plätzchen zu transportieren, nicht Plastiksprengstoff. Der Agent aber braucht keinerlei speziellen Voraussetzungen, durchläuft keinen besonderen Security-Check - unlogische Terrorgesetze.
Trotzdem habe er sich mit der Regelung abgefunden, sagt Gnauck: "Wenn Sie nach Australien verschicken, ist es noch schlimmer", meint der Dresdner Bäcker. "Da kommt Ihr Stollen für zwei bis drei Tage in Quarantäne, meine sind bislang nur geröntgt worden." Man kann auch die Kirche im Dorf, respektive das Lebkuchenhäuschen im Land lassen: Das amerikanische Botschafter-Paar Sue und William R. Timken jedenfalls hat ihr Lebkuchenhäuschen nicht in ihr Heimatland verschickt, sondern Obdachlosen gespendet.
Maybe that's why my birthday/Christmas package from Germany hasn't arrived yet...
Marshal Murat
12-22-2007, 16:18
Whatever you do, don't open gifts early. (http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D8TM8S7O0&show_article=1)
Very low-budget hunting.
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/bike.jpg
-edit-
I'm going to get in ahead of Gregoshi and ask, "What the buck?"
CountArach
12-24-2007, 04:41
I posted this in the Frontroom as well, but here we go:
Chuck Norris' Tears DO NOT Cure Cancer!
NEW YORK (Reuters) - Tough-guy actor and martial arts expert Chuck Norris sued publisher Penguin on Friday over a book he claims unfairly exploits his famous name, based on a satirical Internet list of "mythical facts" about him.
Penguin published "The Truth About Chuck Norris: 400 facts about the World's Greatest Human" in November. Author Ian Spector and two Web sites he runs to promote the book, including www.truthaboutchuck.com, are also named in the suit.
The book capitalizes on "mythical facts" that have been circulating on the Internet since 2005 that poke fun at Norris' tough-guy image and super-human abilities, the suit said.
It includes such humorous "facts" as "Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried" and "Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits," the suit said, as well as "Chuck Norris can charge a cell phone by rubbing it against his beard."
"Some of the 'facts' in the book are racist, lewd or portray Mr. Norris as engaged in illegal activities," the lawsuit alleges.
Norris, who rose to fame in the 1970s and 1980s as the star of such films as "The Delta Force" and "Missing in Action," says the book's title would mislead readers into thinking the facts were true.
"Defendants have misappropriated and exploited Mr. Norris's name and likeness without authorization for their own commercial profit," said the lawsuit.
The suit, filed in Manhattan federal court, seeks unspecified monetary damages for trademark infringement, unjust enrichment and privacy rights.
Norris, whose real name is Carlos Ray Norris, claims in the suit he is protective of what his name is associated with. He has recently made U.S. headlines for backing Republican presidential candidate former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee.
A spokesman for Penguin, owned by Britain's Pearson, was not immediately available for comment.
Gregoshi
12-24-2007, 10:01
Very low-budget hunting.
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/bike.jpg
-edit-
I'm going to get in ahead of Gregoshi and ask, "What the buck?"
One must exercise extreme caution when passing the buck.
Bicycle rides for only a buck.
InsaneApache
12-24-2007, 11:27
One must exercise extreme caution when passing the buck.
Bicycle rides for only a buck.
Dear me. :laugh4:
Gregoshi
12-28-2007, 00:13
Dear me. :laugh4:
Doe!
Marshal Murat
12-28-2007, 00:16
Check your sights, Greg, it's a buck.
Priests engage in bare-knuckle brawl in Bethlehem (http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/meast/12/27/clashing.clergy.ap/), just in time for Christmas.
Priests brawl at Jesus' birthplace
BETHLEHEM, West Bank -- Greek Orthodox and Armenian priests attacked each other with brooms and stones inside the Church of the Nativity as long-standing rivalries erupted in violence during holiday cleaning on Thursday.
The basilica, built over the grotto in Bethlehem where Christians believe Jesus was born, is administered jointly by Roman Catholic, Greek Orthodox and Armenian Apostolic authorities.
Any perceived encroachment on one group's turf can touch off vicious feuds.
On Thursday, dozens of priests and cleaners were scrubbing the church ahead of the Armenian and Orthodox Christmas, celebrated in early January. Thousands of tourists visited the church this week for Christmas celebrations.
But the clean-up turned ugly after some of the Orthodox faithful stepped inside the Armenian church's section, touching off a scuffle between about 50 Greek Orthodox and 30 Armenians.
Palestinian police, armed with batons and shields, quickly formed a human cordon to separate the two sides so the cleaning could continue, then ordered an Associated Press photographer out of the church.
Four people, some with blood running from their faces, were slightly wounded.
North pole? Fuggedaboudit. The majority-Muslim ex-Soviet satellite state of Kyrgyzstan has declared that they are the true home of Santa Claus (http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20071224/od_nm/kyrgyzstan_santa1_dc).
Kyrgyzstan touted as ideal delivery hub for Santa
Mon Dec 24, 2:30 PM ET
BISHKEK - Seeking a novel remedy to revive its rickety economy, the tiny ex-Soviet state of Kyrgyzstan has declared itself the new home of Santa Claus.
Citing Swedish engineering firm that determined the ideal spot for Santa's global toy delivery hub, officials in this predominantly Muslim country have quickly moved to capitalize on the finding.
They named a mountain peak after Santa, to join Mounts Lenin, and Yeltsin, and declared 2008 "The Year of Santa Claus."
"Its slogan will be "Kyrgyzstan is the land of Santa Clauses," said Kyrgyz tourism authority spokeswoman Nurkhon Tajibayeva.
In most Western countries Santa Claus, or Father Christmas , is thought to live at the North Pole or in Finland. However, if he were located in Central Asia and started westwards on his traditional Christmas Eve trips, Kyrgyz officials said he would have a more efficient delivery route.
"He can eliminate time-consuming detours and avoid subjecting his reindeer to undue strain," engineering consultants at Stockholm-based Sweco, who used geography and demographics in their research, said in a press release.
A group of professional mountain-climbers will pitch the country's flag at the newly renamed peak, Kyrgyzstan's tourism authority said, while a world festival of Santas is planned for the capital's main square.
Marshal Murat
12-28-2007, 03:39
I wish they had commentators for that.
"There goes Michael with the manger! You know he's the local Thessaloníki heavyweight!"
Gregoshi
12-28-2007, 04:12
Check your sights, Greg, it's a buck.
Doe!
KukriKhan
12-28-2007, 04:19
Priests engage in bare-knuckle brawl in Bethlehem (http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/meast/12/27/clashing.clergy.ap/), just in time for Christmas.
Priests brawl at Jesus' birthplace
BETHLEHEM, West Bank -- Greek Orthodox and Armenian priests attacked each other with brooms and stones inside the Church of the Nativity as long-standing rivalries erupted in violence during holiday cleaning on Thursday.
The basilica, built over the grotto in Bethlehem where Christians believe Jesus was born, is administered jointly by Roman Catholic, Greek Orthodox and Armenian Apostolic authorities.
Any perceived encroachment on one group's turf can touch off vicious feuds.
On Thursday, dozens of priests and cleaners were scrubbing the church ahead of the Armenian and Orthodox Christmas, celebrated in early January. Thousands of tourists visited the church this week for Christmas celebrations.
But the clean-up turned ugly after some of the Orthodox faithful stepped inside the Armenian church's section, touching off a scuffle between about 50 Greek Orthodox and 30 Armenians.
Palestinian police, armed with batons and shields, quickly formed a human cordon to separate the two sides so the cleaning could continue, then ordered an Associated Press photographer out of the church.
Four people, some with blood running from their faces, were slightly wounded.
Beat me to it. Kudos, Brother Lemur! Sticks (OK, broomsticks) and stones, indeed.
Vladimir
12-28-2007, 04:30
I should have made the Five Year Old its own thread. Stupid Lemur!
-edit-
Housing crisis getting you down? Why not invest in the hottest land market on Earth? Or rather, close to earth (http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSEIC76452320071217?)?
Property bust? Lunar land prices are rocketing
LONDON - Property investors smarting from this year's housing bust in the United States might do well to look farther afield -- even out of this world.
Internet searches for lunar land prices show the cost of buying an acre of the moon's surface has risen 40 percent since the start of 2007, investment bank UBS told clients in a tongue-in-cheek analysis.
Lacing a year-end note with caveats, and not a little holiday cheer, UBS strategists said their "esoteric research" of archived news reports suggests lunar property trends may even be a leading indicator of U.S. house prices.
Rising sharply between 1997 and 2001, the cost of a slice of land on the moon suffered a mid-cycle retreat in 2002-03 after the dot.com bubble burst, the bank said.
But prices defied gravity to hit record highs of $37 per acre in December 2005 -- nine months before U.S. housing peaked.
Their fall to earth was a step ahead too, with lunar prices dropping 56 percent to $16 per acre between 2005 and January 2007, the report said.
"Our calculations suggest lunar land prices appear to be a reasonable lead indicator of U.S. house prices by around 12 months. This suggests a trough in U.S. house prices may occur around the beginning of 2008," the bank said.
Quick to caution against "preliminary" conclusions, UBS added: "This is most certainly not a forecast."
United Nations' treaties insist governments cannot claim ownership of the moon. But attempts to close a loophole allowing individuals or firms to do so have failed to garner support.
U.S. President George W. Bush announced in 2004 that the United States plans to send astronauts back to the moon by 2020.
But, citing claims by a "leading lunar real estate agent," the UBS report said Germans are already the number one owners of moon property -- followed by Swedes, English and Poles.
Whoops should have read this earlier:
Moon rocks (http://www.amazon.com/Return-Moon-Exploration-Enterprise-Settlement/dp/0387242856) + He3 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helium-3)= A whole lot of cash and an end to our energy worries (http://www.space.com/scienceastronomy/helium3_000630.html); all of them.
Marshal Murat
12-28-2007, 05:12
Santa is real, Putin says so! (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7161468.stm)
Gregoshi
12-28-2007, 05:36
Priests engage in bare-knuckle brawl in Bethlehem (http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/meast/12/27/clashing.clergy.ap/), just in time for Christmas.
No offense is intended by the following:
It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas
(with apologies to Johnny Mathis)
It's beginning to look at lot like Christmas
With every stone you throw
Take a look at the cleaning men glistening once again
With bloody nose and black-eyes all algow.
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Joy in every chore
But the pettiest fights will be on the holy day coming
Before a group on tour.
A pair of <bleep>-kicking boots and a pistol that shoots
Is the wish of our Orthodox friends;
Bombs that go off when someone nearby it walks
Is the hope of the Armenians;
And the Roman Catholics can hardly wait for the duels to start again.
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas
With every fist you throw;
There's a scrum in the Manger Square, one in the Grotto as well,
The dirty kind where they don't mind low blows.
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas;
Soon the brawls will start,
And the thing making your head ring is the broom stick that they'll swing
Hard with all their heart.
Meet Finlands man of the year, Bubi. Beating the always tricky national team of Belgium, the feared red devils is is quite the event no? So thought Bubi.
http://www.nieuwnieuws.nl/archives/images/large_227695.jpg
The_Mark
12-28-2007, 13:58
Meet Finlands man of the year, Bubi. Beating the always tricky national team of Belgium, the feared red devils is is quite the event no? So thought Bubi.
http://www.nieuwnieuws.nl/archives/images/large_227695.jpg
Some links on Bubi the Eagle-Owl (Huuhkaja in Finnish):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMKGuoLGvo8
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/latest/tm_headline=helsinki-names-football-owl-resident-of-the-year&method=full&objectid=20262173&siteid=89520-name_page.html
Marshal Murat
12-28-2007, 17:00
Those Southern Elves (http://www.guardian.co.uk/usa/story/0,,2232455,00.html)
Drunken Antarctic Christmas party goes wrong? (surprise?)
Brawling at the south pole sounds expensive, man. Airlifting the guy, a nurse and a paramedic to New Zealand? THat's gonna cost some.
In other weird news, the final sign of the Antichrist has burst upon us: Hello Kitty for Men. (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071228/ap_on_fe_st/japan_hello_kitty_for_men) "The usual bubble-headed shape of Hello Kitty was slightly changed for a more rugged, cool look to appeal to men in their teens and early 20s." Dude, it's Hello Kitty.
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/capt9ff49d5a04fd4a59bc2f5379ee13f12.jpg
Hello Kitty turns attention to young men
By YURI KAGEYAMA, AP Business Writer Fri Dec 28, 7:05 AM ET
TOKYO - Hello Kitty is no sexist.
The cute cuddly white cat from Japan's Sanrio Co., usually seen on toys and jewelry for girls and young women, will soon don T-shirts, bags, watches and other products targeting young men, company spokesman Kazuo Tohmatsu said Friday.
"We think Hello Kitty is accepted by young men as a design statement in fashion," he said.
The feline for-men products will go on sale in Japan next month, and will be sold soon in the U.S. and other Asian nations, according to Sanrio.
The usual bubble-headed shape of Hello Kitty was slightly changed for a more rugged, cool look to appeal to men in their teens and early 20s.
For example, a picture of the cat on a $36 black T-shirt has the words, "hello kitty," instead of the usual dots for the eyes and nose.
Hello Kitty is one of mascot-obsessed Japan's biggest "character" hits, decorating everything from a humble eraser to a $48,000 diamond necklace.
The planned products mark the first time Sanrio is developing Hello Kitty items especially for males, Tohmatsu said.
But Sanrio had tried a "limited edition" collaboration in men's clothing with designers in Tokyo's chic Harajuku section earlier this year, and they proved popular, he said.
"Young men these days grew up with character goods," said Tohmatsu. "That generation feels no embarrassment about wearing Hello Kitty."
seireikhaan
12-29-2007, 05:18
:laugh4: Dear God.
:end:
Marshal Murat
12-29-2007, 05:26
They went wrong. Seriously.
No guns
No gals
No gin
They fail to understand the male's psyche, and lost to the 3 Gs.
Example:
Lone Ranger
A prime masculine cowboy with lots of guns, lots of gals, lots of drinking.
Davy Crockett
Same as the Lone Ranger, but a frontiersman
Jesus
He had Mary Magdalene, he must've carried a knife at least, and drank wine. Heck, he spurts it out.
All three understood how to appeal to men.
Conqueror
12-29-2007, 11:18
If this thing sells then I bet the next step will be a masculinized version of the Hello Kitty vibra- er, massager.
A tale of two headlines. Brought to this thread because it's just so darn amusing.
Pope's exorcist squads will wage war on Satanism! (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/worldnews.html?in_article_id=504969&in_page_id=1811&Satan=Santa)
The Pope has ordered his bishops to set up exorcism squads to tackle the rise of Satanism.
Vatican chiefs are concerned at what they see as an increased interest in the occult.
They have introduced courses for priests to combat what they call the most extreme form of "Godlessness."
Each bishop is to be told to have in his diocese a number of priests trained to fight demonic possession.
The initiative was revealed by 82-year-old Father Gabriele Amorth, the Vatican "exorcist-in-chief," to the online Catholic news service Petrus.
Um, no, they won't. Anyone possessed by Satanic forces will just have to get in line. (http://www.upi.com/NewsTrack/Quirks/2007/12/29/vatican_denies_exorcist_expansion/7287/)
The Vatican is denying reports it plans to install more exorcists around the world so possessed people can get help quickly.
"Pope Benedict XVI has no intention of ordering local bishops to bring in garrisons of exorcists to fight demonic possession,'' Vatican spokesman Federico Lombardi told reporters in Rome Friday.
On Thursday, the Roman Catholic Web site Petrus said the pope planned to install more exorcists in every diocese next year and reintroduce a prayer during mass to Mark the Archangel, believed to be the prime protector against evil, The Telegraph in Britain reported Saturday.
Paolo Scarafoni, a priest at Vatican University who teaches how to recognize and expel Satan, said exorcists increasingly are in demand because devil worship has become so common, reported ANSA, the Italian news agency. "Priests are being bombarded," Scarafoni told ANSA.
Banquo's Ghost
12-29-2007, 17:48
...a priest at Vatican University who teaches how to recognize and expel Satan...
That's got to be a course worth taking. I wonder if they do local night classes? :devil:
Gregoshi
12-30-2007, 06:21
That's got to be a course worth taking. I wonder if they do local night classes? :devil:
:laugh4:
You probably pass the class by being the soul survivor.
IT HAS BEGUN. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/highlands_and_islands/7164220.stm) The octosquids appear to be making their first move ... in Scotland. I should have seen the connection between undersea overlords and haggis a long time ago. Is it too late for our kilt-wearing friends?
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/1.jpg
Mystery container found on beach
Experts are trying to identify a huge metal container that has been washed up on a beach in the Western Isles.
The tank, which is 27m tall standing upright, has no markings and is thought to have fallen from a ship before being washed up on the west of Benbecula.
It was discovered by a dog walker on Poll Na Crann beach - known locally as Stinky Bay - near Griminish.
Stornoway Coastguard is using two numbers on the container to try to find out where the item has come from.
The beach is known as Stinky Bay because of the fermenting seaweed found there.
Alasdair MacEachen, assistant director of environmental services at Comhairle nan Eilean Siar told BBC Scotland: "It's certainly generated a fair bit of interest with people walking on the beach or just travelling along the road, because you can actually see it from the main road along the west side of Benbecula.
"It's a big object so you can't miss it, and it's not often you see something like that on the beach.
"It would be standing almost 30m tall and really looks pretty much like a silo. I think it's a bulk storage tank of some sort, possibly for storing some liquids."
Mr MacEachen said they may decide to anchor the container to the beach to stop it from floating out to sea and becoming hazardous to ships, but in the meantime he advised onlookers to keep a safe distance.
"Although it looks as if it's empty and it's been ruptured, my advice would be not to go too close to it," he said. "It's a fairly light construction so you don't want it rolling on top of someone, and with that sort of thing you can never tell.
"My advice would be to just observe it from a distance."
Peasant Phill
12-31-2007, 11:25
Is any other org. member thinking that the octosquids might be trying to pull a Trojan horse on the Scotts?
Gregoshi
12-31-2007, 16:47
It looks like a giant baby bottle to me. I don't want to see the baby...
Not only does Hello Kitty want young men, the beast also wants to live in your eyeballs. Hello Kitty contact lenses (http://gizmodo.com/339146/hello-kitty-contact-lenses-shake-me-to-the-core). I, for one, welcome our new Kitty overlords ...
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/kittycontacts1.jpg
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/kittycontacts2.jpg
Retiree wants to ride a bison? What could possibly go wrong (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080102/ap_on_fe_st/odd_buffalo_ride)?
Man, 75, hurt while riding pet buffalo
MESA, Ariz. - A man who took one of his pet buffaloes for a ride at a ranch north of Phoenix on New Year's Eve ended up being bucked off the animal and trampled, authorities said.
The unidentified 75-year-old man was flown to a Scottsdale hospital with non-life threatening injuries after the incident in rural Cave Creek, a chief with the Rural/Metro Fire Department said.
"He saddled up, got bucked off and was mauled," said John Kraetz, a district chief for the fire department. Kraetz said he's never been on a similar call.
"People do have buffalo on their property, but it's pretty darn uncommon," he said.
CountArach
01-02-2008, 03:42
I've heard of sheep shagging, but that is ridiculous.
English assassin
01-02-2008, 11:41
"Pope Benedict XVI has no intention of ordering local bishops to bring in garrisons of exorcists to fight demonic possession,'' Vatican spokesman Federico Lombardi told reporters in Rome Friday.
What, I would like to know, is the point of being pope if you do not establish garrisons of exorcists to fight demonic possession?
If I was pope I'd establish a special order of foxy catsuit wearing exorcist nuns, no one over 30, and have them on 24 hr rapid reaction with their own private jets. We'd really kick Satan's arse.
Twelve-year-old versus 551-pound bull shark (http://www.upi.com/NewsTrack/Quirks/2008/01/02/12-year-old_lands_record_shark/4905/). And the kid wins.
12-year-old lands record shark
PALM BEACH SHORES, Fla., Jan. 2 (UPI) -- A 12-year-old boy has caught a 551-pound shark, believed to beat the Florida state record, in Palm Beach Shores, Fla.
Aidan Murray Medley, who has been fishing since he was 5, hooked the 9.58-foot bull shark Tuesday while fishing north of the Palm Beach Inlet, The Palm Beach (Fla.) Post reported Wednesday.
"This thing was huge," Medley said.
The massive shark is believed to top a 1981 record for largest shark landed in Florida -- a 517-pound behemoth captured at Panama City Beach. The boy's family said it planned to submit the catch for certification as a record.
"Of course, I'm happy. I'm proud," said Maureen Murray, Aidan's mother. "It's not really surprising to me. I'm still pretty happy."
Murray had reason not to be surprised by the catch -- last summer Medley reeled in a 461-pound shark.
CountArach
01-03-2008, 03:51
How!?!?!
seireikhaan
01-03-2008, 04:16
Hmm, perhaps he softened it up with an elephant gun?
Marshal Murat
01-03-2008, 04:27
Or every Southern fisherman's secret weapon.
DYNAMITE!
A technology journalist (http://www.macworld.com/article/131355/2008/01/mbb.html) is encouraging kids to "Make bouncy bouncy." It is, as he explains, "a game that can be controlled with one hand and is suitable for the whole family."
HoreTore
01-04-2008, 12:46
There's family friendly games, and then there's....well....
Mental note to self: If I ever get employed by Apple, run away screaming if the boss is bragging about the company's family-friendly policies...
I've got nowhere else to post this, so:
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/zombiefoodpyramid.jpg
Gregoshi
01-05-2008, 04:38
You'd think mummies would have a food pyramid before zombies do. The mummy food pyramid would allow for lots of dessert.
Geoffrey S
01-05-2008, 13:49
Man fell from 47-high and survived. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7172647.stm)
Gays are completily lost
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/01/080103135205.htm
Gregoshi
01-05-2008, 19:33
Gays are completily lost
It has to do with their orientation...
Marshal Murat
01-07-2008, 15:13
2007 in Review (http://wcbstv.com/slideshows/strange.weird.odd.20.604078.html?rid=0)
I'm glad to see that at least some of those stories were already posted in this thread, although how we missed the rabid beavers story is beyond me.
Meanwhile: Texas man calls 911, explains that he is eating his girlfriend (http://blogs.usatoday.com/ondeadline/2008/01/cops-texas-man.html). And not in the good way.
Christopher McCuin called 911 early Saturday morning to report a particularly grisly crime. The Dallas Morning News says he "calmly described murdering his girlfriend and cooking her ear."
When police arrived at his house in Tyler, Texas, the paper says the 24-year-old tried to hold them off with a kitchen knife but eventually surrendered after a short standoff. When cops entered the residence, the paper says they "found a human ear boiling in a stovetop pan and raw flesh on a nearby plate, with a fork stuck in it."
"Either he was going to eat it, had been eating it, or that's what he wanted it to look like," Sheriff J.B. Smith says.
How often have you viewed a pornographic video and thought, "I wish they made this more accessible for deaf people"? Well, you are not alone! Finally, a company has emerged to produce nothing but hearing-impaired pornography (http://www.wired.com/culture/lifestyle/commentary/sexdrive/2008/01/sexdrive_0104).
Think about it this way: You, with your perfectly good ears, can hear an actress say, "But I didn't order a pizza!" But what's there for a deaf viewer? How can he know why the buff man has walked into the apartment? Won't he feel lost? Won't he wonder why they're taking off their clothing?
No more. This wrong has been righted.
Here's a YouTube preview (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYTYCP7fsqc). It contains absolutely nothing offensive, so I don't understand why they have an age check on it. Maybe they just don't want viewers seeing suggestive hand motions?
Here's the company's statement:
It’s here. It’s FINALLY here. The first adult film with D/HH actors using ASL produced by Deaf Bunny, a Deaf owned and operated adult entertainment business. Yes, indeed. The making of “Naughty Deaf Roommates” has been a courageous and phenomenal feat that has astounded the Deaf community near and far. It’s about time that we, Deaf folks, get a taste of the “naughtiness” that’s out there in the REAL world. “Naughty Deaf Roommates” does just that. Not only does it have oh-so-naughty scenes, it features safe sex training, personal comments by the actresses, and bloopers. All in ASL, of course. Oh, we didn’t stop there. We are aware that not every Deaf person is proficient in ASL, so there are subtitles and voice carry-overs for those who rely on other modes of communication. Talk about a film for ANYONE to enjoy and actually learn a thing or two along the way...so, here’s to sparkin’ up those sexual urges that have been layin’ low and embrace your sexuality in a healthy and positive way.
-edit-
A deaf blogger responds (http://www.stonedeafpilots.com/?p=74): "Huh, so that’s what they talk about in porn. Interesting idea. I hope they keep it up."
Geoffrey S
01-08-2008, 00:19
Jeremy Clarkson stung after bank prank. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7174760.stm) Idiot.
Vladimir
01-08-2008, 01:20
Jeremy Clarkson stung after bank prank. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7174760.stm) Idiot.
"The bank cannot find out who did this because of the Data Protection Act and they cannot stop it from happening again.
:laugh4:
Louis VI the Fat
01-08-2008, 11:55
Mexican boy tries to stick at home (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7176333.stm)
A Mexican boy glued his hand to his bed because he did not want to go back to school after the Christmas break. "The holidays were such fun," Diego Palacios, 10, who lives outside Monterrey, told Reforma newspaper.
His mother Sandra found him watching television with his hand stuck to the bedstead. "I don't know why he did it," she said. "He is a good boy." Police and paramedics eventually managed to free him unharmed, and he was only a few hours late for school.
Diego had got up early to fetch some industrial-strength glue from the kitchen. His mother spent two hours trying to free him with nail-polish remover before calling for expert help. Diego watched cartoons while paramedics dissolved the glue with a spray.
Something there for everyone in that one
Vladimir
01-08-2008, 17:08
Good thing he wasn't a chronic masturbater.
Vladimir
01-08-2008, 21:55
http://www.jihadwatch.org/dhimmiwatch/archives/019492.php
NEW YORK (MNA) – An academic delegation of Columbia University professors and deans of faculties plans to visit Tehran to officially apologize to Iranian President Mahmud Ahmadinejad.
:fainting:
A guy cuts off own hand (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080109/ap_on_fe_st/microwaved_hand), cooks it in microwave. Then he doesn't eat it, which makes it seem kinda incomplete.
Man cuts off, microwaves his own hand
HAYDEN, Idaho - A man who believed he bore the "mark of the beast" used a circular saw to cut off one hand, then he cooked it in the microwave and called 911, authorities said.
The man, in his mid-20s, was calm when Kootenai County sheriff's deputies arrived Saturday in this northern Idaho town. He was in protective custody in the mental health unit of Kootenai Medical Center.
"It had been somewhat cooked by the time the deputy arrived," sheriff's Capt. Ben Wolfinger said. "He put a tourniquet on his arm before, so he didn't bleed to death. That kind of mental illness is just sad."
It was not immediately clear whether the man has a history of mental illness. Hospital spokeswoman Lisa Johnson would not say whether an attempt was made to reattach the hand, citing patient confidentiality.
The Book of Revelation in the New Testament contains a passage in which an angel is quoted as saying: "If anyone worships the beast and his image and receives his mark on the forehead or on the hand, he, too, will drink the wine of God's fury."
The book of Matthew also contains the passage: "And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell."
Wolfinger said he didn't know which hand was amputated.
Vladimir
01-10-2008, 02:55
You would too. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iKHBOCoqhfE)
Gregoshi
01-10-2008, 07:05
A guy cuts off own hand (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080109/ap_on_fe_st/microwaved_hand), cooks it in microwave.
Women love a man who's handy in the kitchen.
Geoffrey S
01-10-2008, 14:49
Possibly old news for the US orgahs? Baby primary. (http://www.slate.com/id/2181495/slideshow/2181474/fs/0//entry/2181486/)
Gregoshi
01-10-2008, 15:15
Possibly old news for the US orgahs? Baby primary. (http://www.slate.com/id/2181495/slideshow/2181474/fs/0//entry/2181486/)
Judging by the candidates' faces, I'd say Hillary got the stinky diaper.
FactionHeir
01-10-2008, 16:03
So what's your wife doing afterhours? (http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080109/od_nm/brothel_dc;_ylt=Aj7FjfE58HtIQ6fYIwwDA3guQE4F)
So what's your wife doing afterhours? (http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080109/od_nm/brothel_dc;_ylt=Aj7FjfE58HtIQ6fYIwwDA3guQE4F)
:laugh4:
InsaneApache
01-10-2008, 17:05
Two men face trial after wheeling their dead friend down a Manhattan street in an alleged attempt to cash his Social Security cheque.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7181246.stm
:laugh4:
If you live in Germany, you may want to invest in shotguns and zombie survival kits, because the dead are not rotting (http://www.spiegel.de/international/germany/0,1518,527134,00.html):
GERMANY'S TIRED GRAVEYARDS
When Bodies No Longer Decay
By Frank Thadeusz
Strange as it may seem, the dead have quit rotting in German cemeteries -- they are turning into wax-like corpses. Will the use of burial chambers solve the problem? Or is extensive soil reconditioning the only viable alternative?
Cemeteries are supposed to be the quietest places on earth. But that notion may soon have to be laid to rest: Exhumation experts are currently conducting large-scale digging operations in German graveyards, belying the very concept of eternal peace.
Corpses are no longer decaying in many German cemeteries. Instead, the deceased become waxen, an uncanny process that has become so rampant it can no longer be ignored.
Well, at least we can all look forward to better-looking zombies. That's a comfort.
Elsewhere in Germany, how would you feel about being fired because you don't smoke? (http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSN1063983120080110?feedType=RSS&feedName=oddlyEnoughNews)
Boss fires staff for not smoking
BERLIN - The owner of a small German computer company has fired three non-smoking workers because they were threatening to disturb the peace after they requested a smoke-free environment.
The manager of the 10-person IT company in Buesum, named Thomas J., told the Hamburger Morgenpost newspaper he had fired the trio because their non-smoking was causing disruptions.
Germany introduced non-smoking rules in pubs and restaurants on January 1, but Germans working in small offices are still allowed to smoke.
"I can't be bothered with trouble-makers," Thomas was quoted saying. "We're on the phone all the time and it's just easier to work while smoking. Everyone picks on smokers these days. It's time for revenge. I'm only going to hire smokers from now on."
ShadesPanther
01-10-2008, 23:17
The end is nigh for the Church of England! (http://uk.news.yahoo.com/afp/20080110/tpl-britain-politics-religion-offbeat-5b839a9_2.html)
LONDON (AFP) - Eyebrows were raised in the House of Commons on Thursday when a motion calling for the Church of England to be disestablished was listed with the number 666, symbol of the AntiChrist.
"This number is supposed to be the mark of the Devil. It looks as though God or the Devil have been moving in mysterious ways," said Bob Russell, a Liberal Democrat MP among those proposing the motion for debate.
"What is even stranger is that this motion was tabled last night when MPs were debating blasphemy," he added.
The motion calls for an end to the formal link between Church and State in England -- embodied in the monarch, Queen Elizabeth II, who is both head of state and head of the Church of England.
The number 666 is referred to in the Book of Revelations in the Bible: "Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast for it is the number of a man; and his number is six hundred, three score and six."
"It is is incredible that a motion like this should have, by chance, acquired this significant number," said Russell.
Under the rules of the House of Commons the motion by backbenchers has little chance of actually being debated in parliament.
Lying to your boss about your holiday so the boss can pay for it is generally a bad idea. But definately don't go on an S&M Holiday (http://uk.news.yahoo.com/rtrs/20080110/tod-uk-germany-sex-1a5e080_1.html)
BERLIN (Reuters) - A man and a woman in Germany lost their jobs after pretending to be on a training course while taking an S&M sex holiday at their employer's expense.
"We've never had a case quite like this before," said a spokeswoman for a labour court in Dortmund on Thursday.
The pair who worked at a Dortmund retirement home said they had been at a further education seminar in eastern Germany, for which their employer duly paid.
But after a tip-off, the home found out the middle-aged couple had actually taken a holiday apartment used by devotees of sado-masochistic sex near the Dutch border.
When the couple denied they had skipped the seminar, their employers took them to court. The pair agreed to resign when it was found that the training course had never taken place.
MUHA Adje Melkert is at it again, socially democrating his way in the UN. Thank god you guys have critical media because if you are a member of the social democratic party (pvda) you have editorial immunity here.
http://undpwatch.blogspot.com/2008/01/ad-melkert-most-corrupt-dutch.html
Gregoshi
01-11-2008, 14:05
Fragony, that story seems more wyrd-ish than weird-ish.
Well this is the news of the extremily moving.
Dog digs up his dead cat buddy, moves it to it's whatsitcalled, licks him clean, and goes to sleep. Owners discover the burried cat next day.
http://www.nieuwnieuws.nl/archives/images/hondkat.png
That is so sad.
edit to add: Link to english version of the story (http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article3162659.ece).
Vladimir
01-11-2008, 20:16
An English tradition?
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,321991,00.html
Iraq is hell.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,321994,00.html
Worst. Contextual ad. Evar.
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/iomega_burn_baby.jpg
What the heck :laugh4: At least the keyword search is working. :smash:
Twins separated at birth meet and get married. Oops! (http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSEIC17037920080111)
Twins separated at birth met and married
Fri Jan 11, 2008 3:50pm EST
LONDON - A couple discovered after they had married that they were twins who had been split up at birth and adopted by separate families, according to a member of Britain's House of Lords.
British peer David Alton recounted the story to parliament last month to support his argument that artificially conceived children should be told who their biological parents are.
Alton said he had heard the story of the separated twins from a High Court judge who had dealt with the case.
"This did not involve in vitro fertilization: It involved the normal birth of twins who were separated at birth and adopted by separate parents," said Alton, an independent member of the Lords. "They were never told that they were twins."
"They met later in life and felt an inevitable attraction, and the judge had to deal with the consequences of the marriage that they entered into and all the issues of their separation," he said.
"I suspect that it will be a matter of litigation in the future if we do not make information of this kind available to children who have been donor-conceived," he said.
Alton could not immediately be reached for comment and no further information was available about the twins or where they were from.
"I think it's a very tragic story for the people involved," said Pam Hodgkins, head of a group that helps adults affected by adoption.
"It is a lesson that we need to learn and apply to the situation of donor-conceived children," she told Sky News.
"Whilst ... nowadays it would be most unusual for siblings to be separated ... the risk of secrecy affecting the lives of people born as a result of egg and sperm donation is exactly the same as the risks that have affected adopted people in the past," she said.
Who told them that they were twins ??
Fish y chips, doesn't get any more brittish then that
http://news.independent.co.uk/uk/politics/article3333852.ece
KukriKhan
01-13-2008, 17:31
The tags, injected into the back of the arm with a hypodermic needle, consist of a toughened glass capsule holding a computer chip, a copper antenna and a "capacitor" that transmits data stored on the chip when prompted by an electromagnetic reader.
Add-in a mini-taser to fry the 'fish' when he ventures into proscribed areas...
Weren't there a few 70's sci-fi flicks with a shocking neck-ring thingee to keep human flocks under control?
edit: Lest I be misunderstood: I oppose this move.
The most amusing Photoshop I've seen in '08. Only one element in this picture from Georgia has been altered -- can you spot it? (It's like Where's Waldo for Half-Life 2 fans.)
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/hachike_bushyut_010.jpg
English assassin
01-13-2008, 22:16
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/cornwall/7179368.stm
Mr Potato Head makes octopus pal
A giant Pacific octopus living in a Cornish aquarium has formed an unlikely bond with a child's plastic toy.
Louis regularly plays with the Mr Potato Head figure which was given to him as part of an enrichment project at Newquay's Blue Reef Aquarium
"Louis is well known for his curiosity and intelligence," said Mr Slater.
"We've devised a series of puzzles, games and toys to ensure he's getting the mental stimulation he needs, but Mr Potato Head is definitely his favourite at the moment."
Yeah yeah yeah, look at the cute cephalopod, he's so adorable. Don't these people know what they are dealing with? Just wait til he jury rigs a .45 and an aqua lung (? air-o-gill?) out of bits of children's toys and shoots his way out to report back to his octosquid masters.
vBulletin® v3.7.1, Copyright ©2000-2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.