Log in

View Full Version : News of the Weird



Pages : 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 [19] 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29

Lemur
03-23-2010, 15:07
The human/dog bond is pretty intense; after all, we're talking about at least 100,000 years of co-evolution, and probably a lot more. Two bits of video evidence follow.

The cute: A malamute sings to soothe a crying baby. Awwwww ....


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhA_TTKetyM

The scary: Humans voluntary tickle the scrotums of bulldogs, just because.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQRoRw9qetA

Fragony
03-23-2010, 15:11
Man that baby video made my day, absolutely :daisy: amazing

Gregoshi
03-23-2010, 19:00
The scary: Humans voluntary tickle the scrotums of bulldogs, just because.
And how does one win the scrotum tickling competition? I thought it was the dog that was supposed to fetch the balls. :laugh4:

I love dogs, but that is utterly absurd.

The Wizard
03-23-2010, 19:14
That malamute video is awesome, so cute ^_^

Louis VI the Fat
03-23-2010, 19:15
The scary: Humans voluntary tickle the scrotums of bulldogs, just because.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQRoRw9qetA:laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4:: laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4:

Bollox!


Now then , Lemur , I'm sitting on this link which I'm not going to share , can you maybe tell me at which UK dog show no bollox were fondled ?

Or are you just talking bollox again ? :laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4:




Nah, seriously. That video is the dog's bollocks. The mutt's nuts. :idea2:

naut
03-24-2010, 13:31
Scrotum tickling explained:


A video taken at Crufts last weekend proves the point, but it needs a little explaining. A prize-winning Bulldog, according to the Kennel Club breed standard, ought to “convey an impression of determination, strength and activity”. The problem is: how to make a bored Bulldog look like this?

The handlers in the show ring seem to have found a method, which as the video shows, has become almost universally popular: hold the dog’s head steady by grasping his collar with your left hand, and with your right hand, gently tickle the base of his scrotum. This action with the right hand is guaranteed to make any dog stand still, while adopting an understandably “questioning” facial expression. Apparently this can boost his prize-winning chances.
:laugh4:

Gregoshi
03-24-2010, 15:13
I think I could achieve this facial expression too - with the right handler. :eyebrows:

You know, we males truly are pigs, regardless of species.

miotas
03-25-2010, 13:34
How much would you pay for New Zealand spirits? (http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/03/11/2842718.htm)

Crazed Rabbit
03-27-2010, 20:17
Here's one for Gregoshi: (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/essex/8589766.stm)


Historic sex toys sold for £3,600 at Essex auction

Two historic sex toys thought to date back to the 1700s have been sold at an Essex auction for £3,600.
aka

Frenchmen cast a long shadow over history.

CR

Lemur
03-27-2010, 21:34
Flame-thrower scooter owner arrested (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/7528253/Flame-thrower-scooter-owner-arrested.html)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/Colin-Furze_1605084c.jpg

Colin Furze, a plumber who adapted his scooter to shoot 15ft flames from the rear, has been arrested for an alleged firearms offence. Mr Furze, 30, displayed his modified his scooter, with an anti-tailgating flame thrower operated by the flick of switch, in the press earlier this week. [...]

Speaking before his arrest, he said: ''Everybody wants a flame thrower on a motor bike.

''I don't need a flame thrower on the back of my bike, I'm not going to set fire to people's car's, it's just something interesting to do.''

Louis VI the Fat
03-27-2010, 22:28
https://img519.imageshack.us/img519/2769/475432380090088851.jpg

One of the objects measures 10in (25cm) and the other 11in (28cm).



The wooden items, believed to be French
But...what I don't understand is how the experts could immediately identify the objects as 'French' when they are of such standard form and average size? ~:confused:

Gregoshi
03-28-2010, 16:47
But...what I don't understand is how the experts could immediately identify the objects as 'French' when they are of such standard form and average size? ~:confused:
It just goes to show that even the French are vulnerable to exaggeration. ~;)

Louis VI the Fat
03-28-2010, 17:49
It just goes to show that even the French are vulnerable to exaggeration. ~;)Ze French...exaggerate our virilité? Never!


My first sexual experience was at 11, reveals Sarkozy's father

2010-03-28 14:50:00

Paris: Pal Sarkozy, father of French President Nicolas Sarkozy, has admitted in a new book that he had his first sexual experience with his nanny when he was 11.

Pal, 81, has confessed in a new autobiography called 'So Much Life' that he was a philanderer ever since seducing his childhood nanny when he was just 11. He wrote: ‘Sleep! That's a joke! I innocently asked the nanny to lie down next to me as if to give me a big cuddle while whispering the story. She obeyed. 'I slipped my clumsy but hurried hand under her skirt while she, unperturbed, continued reading.'

He went on to write that after 'finding peace with my body, my desire satisfied', she rearranged her dress and kissed him on the forehead. 'From then on, I would ask for my nurse and stories every night.'

Pal, a Hungarian aristocrat who reached France after the second World War as a refugee, has admitted to regularly cheating on the mother of his three children, Andree, before abandoning her. Nicolas was five at the time, the media report said.

Sarkozy dusts off rumours of marriage strain (http://sify.com/news/sarkozy-dusts-off-rumours-of-marriage-strain-news-international-kdmvabcejbh.html)

Comparing himself to an addict, Pal wrote: 'If you ask an alcoholic to stop, he'll say yes to have peace but won't keep his promises until one awakening ruder than the rest makes him change course, as one needs courage to renounce one's addictions.'

http://sify.com/news/my-first-sexual-experience-was-at-11-sarkozy-s-father-news-international-kd2oObfbcic.htmlAnd in between embarrassing his son*, daddy Sarkozy is a an artist. He creates erotic collages of nude women. His works are not entirely devoid of artistic quality:

https://img138.imageshack.us/img138/189/sarkozyt.jpg


*He also doesn't want Nicolas to again run for the presidentship.

Pal told French newspaper Le Parisien: 'Nicolas would have a quieter life if he didn't stand at the next election. It's he who'll decide, but that's just the opinion of a father who wants to see his son happy. I can't imagine the pressure he's under, dealing with economic crisis, unemployment and homelessness.'

Crazed Rabbit
03-28-2010, 18:38
You seem to be becoming a STFS doppleganger, Louis. I'll admit, at first glance I was fooled.

CR

Gregoshi
03-29-2010, 03:12
You seem to be becoming a STFS doppleganger, Louis. I'll admit, at first glance I was fooled.

I noticed that too. And Texans NEVER boast about themselves or indulge in tall tales. :saint:

Viking
03-30-2010, 18:52
Pac-Man is found on Saturnian moon that resembles the Death star

https://img94.imageshack.us/img94/323/pia12867br500.jpg

http://saturn.jpl.nasa.gov/photos/imagedetails/index.cfm?imageId=3919

Husar
03-31-2010, 11:49
Court allows brewery to give their beer a very...interesting name. (http://www.spiegel.de/international/zeitgeist/0,1518,686305,00.html) (warning: contains bad language)

naut
03-31-2010, 14:07
Court allows brewery to give their beer a very...interesting name. (http://www.spiegel.de/international/zeitgeist/0,1518,686305,00.html) (warning: contains bad language)
Nice. Reminds me of my favourite Aussie beer:

https://img202.imageshack.us/img202/2696/skinnyblondebeer1.jpg

The girl on the label, her top disappears as the beer warms. :wink2:

Cute Wolf
04-01-2010, 05:03
Nice. Reminds me of my favourite Aussie beer:

https://img202.imageshack.us/img202/2696/skinnyblondebeer1.jpg

The girl on the label, her top disappears as the beer warms. :wink2:

how much the beer content in each girl? did they are just miniature figrines? or real - life sized?

Fragony
04-03-2010, 10:23
They are butt ugly if you ask me.

Anyways, hilarious protest-signs screw-ups http://www.flickr.com/photos/pargon/sets/72157623594187379/

Lemur
04-03-2010, 21:53
Frag, I honestly don't know what to do with you. If it ain't animal snuff pictures or anti-Muslim politicos, you're doing Tea Party pictures. You're either incapable of understanding or caring what this thread has been about for 150+ pages.

Meanwhile, in actual weird news ...

Best retraction of the year (http://cambridgetab.co.uk/uncategorized/lizo-mzimba-an-apology/), and it's only April 3rd. Seriously, I doubt this one will be topped:


The Tab would like to apologise to BBC Correspondent and former Newsround presenter Lizo Mzimba for making a considerable number of false and damaging allegations about Lizo's professional and personal behaviour, in a series of articles published in October 2009. [...] We fully accept that he was not 'seen draping himself over a number of girls'; it was untrue to label him as a 'sleaze' and a 'perve'; and we were wrong to accuse him of loitering around ladies' toilets to support false allegations that his behaviour while in Cambridge was debauched.

The Tab also acknowledges that Lizo was not gaffer-taped to a wall in Emmanuel College; he was not forced to lock himself in a toilet following a confrontation with students; and he was not 'bug-eyed and sweaty' as a result of a night of heavy drinking.

InsaneApache
04-04-2010, 03:08
Excellent. I too haven't been bug eyed and sweaty, at least for a day or two. :freak: :sweatdrop:

Fragony
04-04-2010, 08:03
Lemur get of my back. I honestly don't know what I ever did to you, but we can't get along with everybody I guess. So leave me alone and I will do the same.

Banquo's Ghost
04-04-2010, 08:54
Lemur get of my back. I honestly don't know what I ever did to you, but we can't get along with everybody I guess. So leave me alone and I will do the same.

Lemur is asking you to understand the purpose of this thread, which is for light-hearted news that strikes one as weird. It's not really for political points (unless they are weird).

Now, the problem is that people have different definitions of what constitutes "weird". Misspelt protest signs might strike you as such, but most people would see your post as largely political rather than funny. As thread starter, Lemur has the right to ask for posts to be on topic, and he's just trying to get across that some of your posts don't entirely fit the theme. If in doubt in the future, I'm happy for you to PM me and ask my opinion, for what it's worth. :bow:

Now, back to weirdness.

Fragony
04-04-2010, 09:23
Lemur is asking you to understand the purpose of this thread

Yeah just as I am up to war and genocide in another, nice. Language screw-ups on protest signs like 'this is are country speak English' are pretty damn hilarious if you ask me, maybe I shouldn't have been the one posting it.

Pannonian
04-04-2010, 22:45
The human/dog bond is pretty intense

Not only is the human-dog bond intense; it's sacred.

Jesus image appears on dog (http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/24217-jesus-image-appears-on-dog)

The dog's name is Angus MacDougall, and he is a very cute three-year-old terrier mix. The image of Jesus can be clearly seen in the fur surrounding his anus.

The apparition of Jesus is shown on the website getbehindjesus.net. Admiring comments from witnesses to Angus's Jesus are quoted on the site, including 'Truly a holy event,' and 'It's hard to understand the meaning of this appearance, but one thing is for sure, that dog's bum looks incredibly like Jesus.'

The website relates the story of the holy image's discovery:

Angus' personal Jesus was first discovered on the morning of Sunday, July 2, 2006. The family was waking up when Angus began to perform his morning ritual. He stretched forward then leaned back sticking his rump high in the air. At that moment, the morning sunlight hit Angus' rear end and low and behold…

"It's Jesus!" Angus' father exclaimed.

Ever since that sanctified day, the image of Jesus has graced Angus' buttocks.

Crazed Rabbit
04-04-2010, 22:58
An bit of an oldie, but a possible Darwin nominee. From downtown NYC in December: (http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/manhattan/side_show_doomed_thug_vct6JLQrWau8DRZpdvdaFO)


Martinez bolted from cops who approached him for aggressively peddling his own rap CDs to tourists and shaking them down for cash. Newsom gave chase and shouted for Martinez to put up his hands.

Martinez instead pulled the machine gun from a sling under his coat and turned to fire as he ran into the parking breezeway within the Marriott Marquis Hotel.

One of the shots shattered a gift-shop window and a second struck the car of an out-of-town couple coming to see the Rockettes at Radio City Music Hall.
...
A Times Square bloodbath was narrowly avoided because the machine-pistol-toting thug who fired at a cop flipped the gun on its side like a character out of a rap video, causing the weapon to jam after two shots, law-enforcement sources said yesterday.

When scam artist Raymond "Ready" Martinez held the MAC-10-style gun parallel to the ground, it caused the ejecting shells to "stovepipe," or get caught vertically in the chamber, the sources said. The gun is designed to be fired only in a vertical position.

If he had fired the weapon -- which had another 27 rounds in the clip -- properly, Martinez, 25, could have killed the hero cop pursuing him and countless others walking through the swarming tourist mecca Thursday morning.

Instead, Sgt. Christopher Newsom was able to return fire -- killing Martinez with four shots before anyone was hurt.

Edited for correctness.

CR

Lemur
04-05-2010, 03:39
Who knows what little children will find on their Easter egg hunts (http://www.desmoinesregister.com/article/20100404/NEWS/100404005/-1/caucus/Des-Moines-police-identify-body-found-in-park-during-egg-hunt)?


Des Moines police have identified the man found dead during an Easter egg hunt in Beaverdale Park on Saturday.

Two teenagers found the body of Goddi Ishima, 34, of Des Moines while hunting for eggs in a wooded part of the park at 3301 Adams St. in Des Moines. About 100 children were in the park at the time as part of Beaverdale’s annual Easter egg hunt

Fragony
04-06-2010, 10:47
Not only is the human-dog bond intense; it's sacred.

Jesus image appears on dog (http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/24217-jesus-image-appears-on-dog)
[indent]The dog's name is Angus MacDougall, and he is a very cute three-year-old terrier mix. The image of Jesus can be clearly seen in the fur surrounding his anus.


Teh old, this is much more spectacular, the Mohammed cartoon appearing on a dutch model's knee.

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v494/Fragony/kniekevanlexmond477.jpg

Lemur
04-06-2010, 14:49
Just Like Weekend at Bernie's, But With Creepy Middle-Aged German Chicks (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/8604663.stm)

Police have arrested two women after they tried to take the body of a dead relative onto a plane at Liverpool John Lennon Airport.

Staff became suspicious when the women tried to check in the man, who was wearing sunglasses, for a flight to Berlin on Saturday.

The man is thought to have died the previous day and was in a wheelchair.

The women, aged 41 and 66, were arrested on suspicion of failing to give notification of a death.

InsaneApache
04-06-2010, 16:02
Poor bugger. He had to live in Oldham. He's in a better place now though.

Lemur
04-06-2010, 20:56
Why struggle through life with just one penis? (http://www.treehugger.com/files/2010/04/giant-lizard-human-size-two-penises.php)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/two-penis-lizard-varanus-bitatawa.jpg

Biologists have just made one of the most stunning animal discoveries of the year--it's a cousin of the komodo dragon uncovered on an island in the Philippines. Scientists have dubbed the species of monitor lizard, which measures over six feet in length, the Varanus bitatawa. [...]

[A]ccording to AFP: "Males have a double penis, called hemipenes, also found in some snakes and other lizards. The two penises are often used in alternation, and sometimes contain spines or hooks that serve to anchor the male within the female during intercourse."

Louis VI the Fat
04-06-2010, 21:07
A slimey lizard with a double penis attached, eh?

Pah.

Me, I'm a penis with a wee bit of slimey frog attached.



Teh old, this is much more spectacular, the Mohammed cartoon appearing on a dutch model's knee.

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v494/Fragony/kniekevanlexmond477.jpg


As an aside, this is the second time I've stared at that picture hard and long (no pun intended, even though the skirt is skimpy and the legs not disproportioned), but the cartoon does not appear. Anybody else see it?


and get a girlfriend Louis, before you've ruined what little is left of your dignity

Gregoshi
04-06-2010, 21:40
Louis, I can see a face (looking left-ish, eye closed in apparent thought/prayer, with beard), but 1) I don't know if that is the same face others see (it could be a multi-facial knee); and 2) I don't know how one can ID this as Mohammed as apposed to anyone else - it kind of looks like Dick Gregory to me.

spmetla
04-07-2010, 03:46
Rat-eating plant discovered in Philippines (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/earthnews/6041241/Rat-eating-plant-discovered-in-Philippines.html)

Apparently the Philippines are trying to compete with Australia for strange plants and animals. Take note of the happy rat in the photo!

Fragony
04-07-2010, 03:53
amazing..

Gregoshi
04-07-2010, 04:18
A Rhodentdeadron...cool.

Lemur
04-07-2010, 04:22
Take note of the happy rat in the photo!
How can you post this and not include a picture of said rat-eating plant? Here, allow me to rectify:

Warning: Picture contains a rat that is most likely dead.

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/article-1207076-061688D2000005DC-47.jpg

Cute Wolf
04-07-2010, 04:57
How can you post this and not include a picture of said rat-eating plant? Here, allow me to rectify:

I think someone have said that we are forbidden to post up "gruesome" pictures... and I did not know what was gruesome with this pic.... after I spot out that this rat's head are actually rotten and swollen (notice the crack along its head"... :skull: and if you notice better, the rat's eyes are obviously dead rat, as it's eyes are actually popped out...

did we must revoke this rule? :clown:

Lemur
04-07-2010, 05:03
Oh, hmm, I didn't realize the rat was dead. My bad. I'll put it under a spoil and post a warning. Thanks for calling it out, Cute Wolf; my bad.

Gregoshi
04-07-2010, 14:59
...I'll put it under a spoil...
As it is already spoiled...

Pannonian
04-07-2010, 15:45
In a more recent article than the above, Giant meat-eating plants prefer to eat tree shrew poo (http://news.bbc.co.uk/earth/hi/earth_news/newsid_8552000/8552157.stm).

N. rapah pitchers have huge orifices, but they also grow large concave lids held at an angle of about 90 degrees away from the orifice.

The inside of these lids are covered with glands that exude huge amounts of nectar.

N. rapah pitchers have huge orifices, but they also grow large concave lids held at an angle of about 90 degrees away from the orifice.

The inside of these lids are covered with glands that exude huge amounts of nectar.

Most importantly, the distance from the front of the pitcher's mouth to the glands corresponds exactly to the head to body length of mountain tree shrews.

"In order for the tree shrews to reach the exudates, they must climb onto the pitchers and orient themselves in such a way that their backsides are located over the pitcher mouths," explains Dr Clarke.

The tree shrews then appear to defecate as a way of marking their feeding territory.

The tree shrews get nectar, a valuable food source, and in return, the plants get to catch and absorb the tree shrew's faeces which likely supplies the majority of nitrogen required by the plant.

Fragony
04-08-2010, 19:07
amazing..

^- what he said. Fascinating stuff.

Crazed Rabbit
04-08-2010, 20:30
"You know you’re a bunch of :daisy: when…" (http://jakegarland.tumblr.com/post/499903503/you-know-youre-a-bunch-of-assholes-when)

http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l0fv24CuFZ1qzy1hfo1_500.png

Furunculus
04-10-2010, 14:30
London bond trader creates JustGiving page to help Greece ... £398 down, £99,999,602 to go:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/financetopics/financialcrisis/7572042/London-bond-trader-creates-JustGiving-page-to-help-Greece-...-398-down-99999602-to-go.html

Good news at last for Greece. The heavily indebted country has found a saviour in the unlikely form London bond trader Jim Croft.


By Jonathan Russell
Published: 4:08PM BST 09 Apr 2010

The City worker has set up a charity appeal on donations website justgiving.com to raise £100m to bail the country out.

“Greece is in a deep financial crisis,” he explains on the site. “Donating here will go along way to helping these poor people who have lived beyond their means for the last 10 years and are now struggling to pay their bills."

“Please think of them as they avoid their taxes and then blame evil speculators rather than face up to the fact that lying about their national statistics was probably more of a factor."

"Please donate in pounds as all euro payments will soon be subject to a 50pc haircut.”

So far £398 has been raised.

Donations include £15 from someone calling themselves Angela Merkel with the touching comment “Greek swine”.

A certain Anthony Chisnall has promised £10 but only if they stop smashing all their crockery. Mr Turkey said he would donate £10 in return for an island.

Even the British Museum is reported on the site to have stumped up a tenner along with the message: “Have you lost your marbles.”

“I set it up as a bit of a giggle on a quiet Friday morning but then people started donating money, which is great," Mr Croft told Reuters. “It all goes to charity (Oxfam) in the end, so that's good.”

There is apparently no stipulation on donors giving their real names.

ROFLMAO!

aimlesswanderer
04-10-2010, 15:01
"You know you’re a bunch of :daisy: when…" (http://jakegarland.tumblr.com/post/499903503/you-know-youre-a-bunch-of-assholes-when)

http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l0fv24CuFZ1qzy1hfo1_500.png
Yeah, if you're too quack for even the nice chaps at the KKK...

Lemur
04-12-2010, 01:26
Iron cage deathmatch: Catholic priest versus Jehovah's Witness! Fight! (http://www.kens5.com/news/texas-news/Its-a-priest-versus-Jehovahs-Witnesses-after-a-FW-altercation-90531324.html)

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v373/80/72/1313760798/n1313760798_172769_60.jpg

"So, the man comes in and tells my daughter right off, he says, 'You are going to be burned into the eternal fires of Gehenna if you don't listen to what I say,'" Parnell said.

The priest said that was the match that lit the fuse. He said he is tired of Jehovah's Witnesses coming into the St. Augustine church, which is not affiliated with the Fort Worth Diocese.

When Jehovah's Witnesses recently came to his door, Parnell said he attempted to escort them out after one of the men allegedly knocked his Bible to the floor.

"He said, 'This place is teaching lies and I am here to bring you the truth,'" he said.

[Catholic priest] Parnell said the men then dragged him down the street and beat him.

However, according to a police report, Parnell is the suspect in the altercation.

"The next thing you know, there was a haymaker that came out of left field there and went down the side of his face," said Harry Dwinell, a witness, of allegedly seeing the priest hit the Jehovah's Witness.

Dwinell, who called police, said he saw the whole incident from the first punch.

Parnell was taken to the hospital in an ambulance and gave an officer his side of the story. He claims to have witnesses of his own.

WFAA was unable to contact the Jehovah's Witnesses involved in the incident.

InsaneApache
04-12-2010, 12:44
So was the Jehovahs Witnesses a witness to the assault or was the witness assaulted or even witnessesed. I mean, we have to be clear here, who witnessed what and was the witness a Jehovahs Witness or not?

I'm at my wits end here attempting to understand.

Gregoshi
04-14-2010, 17:10
<using ring announcer voice>
And the winna of the Middleweight Bible Belt by a split decision is...Father Parnell!!! :boxing:

Hosakawa Tito
04-15-2010, 00:58
Fetish Friendship Turns Foul. (http://www.newsok.com/oklahoma-city-man-with-fetish-for-flatulence-tells-police-he-was-sexually-assaulted/article/3452057) Can't we just fart and be friends?:laugh4:

Gregoshi
04-15-2010, 02:40
Fetish Friendship Turns Foul. (http://www.newsok.com/oklahoma-city-man-with-fetish-for-flatulence-tells-police-he-was-sexually-assaulted/article/3452057) Can't we just fart and be friends?:laugh4:
The poor victim should have gone cruising retirement homes. There's plenty of old farts there.

Vladimir
04-15-2010, 12:38
Lemur, that is just priceless. The last paragraph is my favorite. Thank you. :bow:

Lemur
04-15-2010, 14:19
British Woman Claims Wii Fit Turned Her Into a Sex Addict (http://in.news.yahoo.com/139/20100414/882/twl-wii-fit-injury-turns-woman-into-a-se.html)

(Unrelated news: Wii Fit sales soar in Great Britain)

London, Apr 14: Amanda Flowers, a catering worker in Manchester, needs 10 sex sessions a day - courtesy a fall from her Wii Fit board which turned her into a sex addict.

Even the slightest of vibrations, from mobile phones to food processors, turns her on, reports The Daily Star.

She said: "It began as a twinge down below before surging through my body. Sometimes it built up into a trembling orgasm."

A doctor diagnosed her with persistent sexual arousal syndrome due to a damaged nerve.

Gregoshi
04-15-2010, 15:20
Single Amanda, 24, from Harpurhey, said: "With no cure I just have to try to control my passion by breathing deeply. Hopefully one day I'll find a superstud who can satisfy me Mii."
Fixed. The possibility of her finding a "superstud" are Wiimote. :eyebrows:

Banquo's Ghost
04-15-2010, 16:26
Fixed. The possibility of her finding a "superstud" are Wiimote. :eyebrows:

She needs to find a game boy.

Crazed Rabbit
04-15-2010, 17:48
Superwoman is, apparently, 70 years old and living in Daytona Beach (http://www.news-journalonline.com/news/local/east-volusia/2010/04/14/woman-70-hits-back-at-carjacker.html):


Her daughter, Maisa Alderman, said her mother taught her self-defense as a child, but she couldn't help but be concerned when her mother called from Halifax to tell her she had been carjacked.

"By the time I saw her, I was laughing," Alderman said. "When she started telling me about how his eyes were poking out and how hard it is to break somebody's neck, I knew she was fine."

The champagne-colored van was the last anniversary present Eliud Haliday got from her late husband, so she wasn't going to let it go easily.

The 70-year-old Daytona Beach woman got tough with a carjacker Tuesday, police said; so tough the robber bailed out.

"I wasn't going to let them take my van, my pocketbook and my paycheck," Haliday said from the emergency room of Halifax Health Medical Center, where she was taken as a precaution. "It's against nature. You can't let them take over your life."

Haliday just arrived at the Beville Road Walmart shortly after 1 p.m. Tuesday to pick up her son, Allan, who is temporarily disabled because of a motorcycle accident.

"She had just put a couple of bags of groceries in the van when it takes off racing down the parking lot and I called 9-1-1," he said.

Haliday had jumped into the van and put her assailant in a chokehold. A Brazilian native, she studied martial arts -- judo, jujitsu and capoeira -- in her youth.

"He kept telling me that he was going to kill me, and that he had a gun in his pants," Haliday said from her hospital bed, hair styled and nails manicured. "I told him, 'You can't reach it. Your pants are at your ankles.' "

Nonetheless, her heart pounded as the suspect -- described as a young black man wearing a black short-sleeve shirt and a camouflage hat -- hit a parked car, swerved several times and hit a fence.

"I think he was trying to get me to fall out of the sliding door," Haliday said. "He swerved one time and the door slammed shut and then he was mine."

His accomplices, four of them, followed in another van as Haliday's sped east on Beville Road.

"His friends were screaming, 'Bail out, bail out,' " she said. "I kept asking him if he wanted to stop all this nonsense and get out, but he kept going."

Haliday, a retired nurse who described herself as kind and gentle at all other times, said it was necessary to defend herself so she did what she had to do.

"I can't believe how hard it is to break somebody's neck," she said. "I just kept choking him until he couldn't talk. I thought he'd at least faint."

By the time the suspect made it to Ridgewood and Rutledge avenues in South Daytona, he'd had enough. He leaped out and was picked up by his cohorts.

CR

Lemur
04-15-2010, 21:48
I heard that lady interviewed on NPR. She sounds like one tough grannie!! Meanwhile ...

Wouldn't Cola Made With Cocoa Leaves Be the Real Thing? (http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/apr/14/coca-colla-real-thing-bolivia)

A certain US soft drinks giant may disagree, but Bolivia has come up with a fizzy beverage it says is the real thing: Coca Colla.

The drink, made from the coca leaf and named after the indigenous Colla people from Bolivia's highlands, went on sale this week across the South American country. [...] It is made from the coca leaf, a mild stimulant that wards off fatigue and hunger, and has been used in the Andes for thousands of years in cooking, medicine and religious rites.

Coca is also the raw ingredient of cocaine[/indent]

Lemur
04-15-2010, 22:18
Headline of the year (maybe):

How to Sell Realistic Peeing Penis Dildos to Heterosexual Men (http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist/2010/04/14/how-to-sell-realistic-peeing-penis-dildos/)

drone
04-15-2010, 22:57
Anyone who follows the NFL knows about the Whizzinator. That article brings up a question though, was it designed as a testing-evasion tool first, or a toy? The toy use is redundant, as urine is sterile anyway. So it would only serve those who get stage fright when the missus asks for, um, well...

Got to love the City Paper.

Hosakawa Tito
04-15-2010, 23:09
Headline of the year (maybe):

How to Sell Realistic Peeing Penis Dildos to Heterosexual Men (http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist/2010/04/14/how-to-sell-realistic-peeing-penis-dildos/)


Too bad Billy Mays is gone.
----------------------------------
Dolphin Lust. (http://www.nbc-2.com/Global/story.asp?S=12272502)

I always suspected there was something not quite normal between Flipper and Warden Ricks.

Lemur
04-15-2010, 23:43
Another outstanding headline:

Herd of sheep, off tits on drugs, savagely Tased (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/04/15/taser_sheep_zap_shocker/)

'None suffered heart attacks', exults stungun maker

In shock* news it has emerged that a group of sheep in America, out of their minds on Class A drugs, have been repeatedly blasted using controversial electric Taser stun weapons.

Rather than some kind of degenerate drug-fuelled brouhaha indicative of the moral decline among America's sheep community, the ovine electro-stunning incident was the result of experiments by Taser International in-house boffins intended to show that it's safe to use Tasers on human meth-heads.

The issue arises because, in the natural course of things, a high proportion of the people that American police officers have to forcibly subdue are tripping the light fantastic on crystal meth or related substances at the time. Tasers are supposed to be a replacement for other and more damaging plod tactics such as bludgeoning, pepper-spraying or choking suspects into compliance, so it's important to be able to use them on meth fanciers.

Taser International has already shown to its own (and more importantly most courts') satisfaction that its weapons are without significant ill effect on people not chemically disadvantaged at the time, but it has been argued that a sudden electric shock administered to a methamphetamine connoisseur is likely to cause a heart attack. Certainly a fair number of such people have subsequently died after being subdued by Taser-wielding cops, though this also happened before the stunguns came into use.

Hence the company study, in which 16 Dorset sheep weighing from 26 to 78 kg were given various doses of methamphetamine (four unlucky control animals got none at all) and were then repeatedly zapped with a Taser X26 "compliance device".

According to the Taser boffins and assisting academic colleagues, none of the meth'd up sheep suffered ventricular fibrillation or full-blown heart stoppages. In the case of little ones weighing less than 32kg, the Taser "exacerbated atrial and ventricular irritability induced by methamphetamine intoxication, but this effect was not seen in larger, adult-sized animals".

Taser will no doubt argue that this indicates that it is safe for plods to use their products on meth users, or adult ones at any rate. The study seems highly unlikely to win over the weapons' critics, but perhaps might prove handy for company lawyers in future.

British cops are using Tasers more and more these days, though the governing body of the nation's biggest police force - the Met - remains firmly opposed to them. In recent high-profile incidents, Met officers making questionable use of force have relied on old-school methods: perhaps wisely, as a Taser generates a permanent internal record and scatters forensically verifiable confetti every time it is discharged.

*Hem-hem

Lemur
04-16-2010, 00:29
Swiss Hate Children (http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/821591-evil-clown-hired-for-stalking-threats-and-a-pie-in-the-face)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/article-1271189185680-091D655400000.jpg

Dominic Deville stalks young victims for a week, sending chilling texts, making prank phone calls and setting traps in letterboxes.

He posts notes warning children they are being watched, telling them they will be attacked.

But Deville is not an escaped lunatic or some demonic monster.

He is a birthday treat, hired by mum and dad, and the ‘attack’ involves being splatted in the face with a cake.

‘The child feels more and more that it is being pursued,’ said Deville.

‘The clown’s one and only aim is to smash a cake into the face of his victim, when they least expect it, during the course of seven days.’

If the boy or girl manages to avoid the ‘hit’, they are given the cake as a birthday present. Well, that’s alright then.

The frightening fun can be stopped at any time, which is handy for parents who have second thoughts and don’t fancy the cost of child therapy.

Deville said: ‘The clown will never break into a residence or show up at work. ‘It’s all in fun and if, at any point, the kids get scared or their parents are concerned, we stop right there.

drone
04-16-2010, 02:20
Can't sleep, clown will eat me...
Can't sleep, clown will eat me...

Gregoshi
04-16-2010, 05:28
Well they're some bad things known to man
But ain't too much badder than
The fears of a clown when there's no one around

- Smokey Robinson & the Miracles (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxj1hP3dxdg)...kind of...

:laugh4:

Hosakawa Tito
04-16-2010, 10:57
Hah, I ain't skeered of no girly man with face paint & a wig.:sweatdrop: where's me BB gun.

Lemur
04-16-2010, 14:49
It was Colonel Mustard with the candlestick in the dining room and the motive was HUMAN FREAKIN' SACRIFICE (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/8624269.stm)

The severed head and torso of a man has been found in a temple in the Indian state of West Bengal in what the police say is a case of "human sacrifice".

The head and the body were found at the local temple to the goddess Kali near Chotomakdampur village in the western district of Birbhum.

Police say they have detained a tribal villager for questioning.

Human sacrifice is illegal in India. But a few cases do occur in remote and underdeveloped regions.

"This man has been sacrificed to propitiate the gods," said local official Kalyan Mukherjee.

Beskar
04-16-2010, 15:05
Lemur, you need to get Wicked Clown for your son. He looks zombie enough too.

drone
04-16-2010, 16:12
The severed head and torso of a man has been found in a temple in the Indian state of West Bengal in what the police say is a case of "human sacrifice".

The head and the body were found at the local temple to the goddess Kali near Chotomakdampur village in the western district of Birbhum.

Police say they have detained a tribal villager for questioning.

Human sacrifice is illegal in India. But a few cases do occur in remote and underdeveloped regions.

"This man has been sacrificed to propitiate the gods," said local official Kalyan Mukherjee.

In other local news, a stone has been reported stolen from the village of Maypore...

Tellos Athenaios
04-16-2010, 16:58
The St. Louis Post-Dispatch reports:
Earth City-based project makes pig manure hit the road — as asphalt (http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/business/stories.nsf/story/8BD4ECDDEBD84EC686257706000C0410?OpenDocument)


EUREKA — For now and into the foreseeable future, a portion of the road leading to Six Flags St. Louis will be paved with a lot more than good intentions.

It will be covered as well with serendipity, ingenuity, creative persistence and ... recycled swine manure.

All that ingenuity has gone into a project believed to have created the first asphalt ever produced from the stuff. And one thing's for sure:

The witnesses lining the bright stretch of North Outer Drive along Interstate 44 — particularly those with noses and an abiding interest in sustainable technology — won't soon forget the moment the red dump truck deposited a 15-ton load of the designer asphalt into
a road paver late Wednesday morning.

"Whew!" gasped a worker with Pace Construction Co., the St. Louis County road contractor that joined forces with Innoventor, the Earth City-based engineering and design firm that perfected the process of converting the animal waste into a bio-oil used in asphalt binder.

To others, the air swelled with the sweet smell of potential for new manufacturing opportunities, jobs and, possibly, profits. How big is that potential? Nobody knows yet.

"If this works out, it's a win-win situation for everyone," said Karlton Krause, a hog producer from northern Iowa. "For farmers, it produces revenue. And at the same time, it helps clean the environment. We're taking a waste product and finding a value-added purpose for it."

The road leading to Six Flags, such as it, began 10 years ago when neighbors started raising a stink over the odors at the hog farm operated by Kent Schien's in-laws in Barry, Ill., east of Hannibal, Mo., about 125 miles from St. Louis.

Schien, Innoventor's founder and chief executive, is among the legions of former McDonnell Douglas engineers who left the aerospace giant to start their own companies.

A native of Barry himself, Schien understood the pitfalls of alienating the folks next door in RELATED LINKS
Get more business news, blogs and opinion
a small town where, as likely as not, the neighbors were also cousins, aunts and uncles. RELATED LINKS
Get more business news, blogs and opinion

He turned the problem over to his engineers, who soon developed a technique to "scrub" animal odor as it moved outdoors through fans installed on the outer walls of swine sheds.

Schien was justifiably proud of the company's accomplishment — until he ran into an acquaintance, also a prominent hog producer. The acquaintance praised the invention for removing the stink. But, he pointed out, an air scrubber is not a revenue generator.

What farmers really needed, he suggested, was an invention capable of turning swine waste — up to 8 pounds of it a day per animal — into a money-maker.

Seeking an answer, Schien returned to his alma mater, the University of Illinois, where an agricultural engineering professor named Yuanhui Zhang was developing a process to transform pig manure into bio-oil.

About three years ago, Schien wedded Zhang's research with the Innoventor team and put Rick Lux, an engineer with a background in biofuels, in charge of the project.

Lux tackled the mission on two fronts: the former Earth City warehouse space that Innoventor converted into an office, adorned with the names of inventors such as the Wright Brothers and Louis Pasteur. And Rick Rehmeier's hog farm, outside Augusta, which became an off-site laboratory where the team discovered situations and problems they never expected to encounter.

"I don't think I ever had a class (in engineering school) that ever covered that," said engineer Gary Winkler, referring to the hog manure pit now integrated into his professional life.

The objective, Lux understood, was to turn time on its head by compressing the process that created crude oil from decomposed critters that died ages ago.

To reach that goal, the team drew on chemistry, engineering and innate common sense in developing a multiple-stage system that ultimately moved the manure into a reactor, which applies heat and pressure to the waste material.

"Instead of taking 10,000 years, they can (produce bio-oil) in about an hour," said Michael Formica, chief environmental counsel with the National Pork Producers Council.

As Lux and the engineers grappled with the biggest obstacle standing between Innoventor and success — pig hair and dander that constantly "chewed up" grinders and pumps — it seemed they might not be able to improve on Mother Nature's timeline.

By this winter, though, Innoventor was ready to move to the next phase.

The team got a big boost when tests conducted on the paving material received a passing grade as a "lower-grade asphalt binder" from John Wenzlick, a research engineer with the Missouri Department of Transportation.

And Wednesday morning came the biggest test of all.

The sun was still coming up when Lux pulled into the lot of an asphalt plant operated by Pace Construction in a limestone quarry about six miles from Six Flags, the bed of his Innovator pickup truck loaded with 20 gallons of the bio-oil.

Five hours later, a chute beneath a Pace silo dropped a batch of pig asphalt into the red dump truck operated by Mike Cain of Dittmer, Mo.

As Pace employees shoveled the asphalt into buckets for testing in an on-site lab, Cain asked a reporter to confirm the reason the load was drawing so much attention. He got the confirmation; it was exactly what he thought it was.

He sniffed the air. "Smells nasty," the driver continued. "But I live in the country; I'm used to it."

Within minutes, Cain was backing his truck up to the paver.

In the coming weeks and months, MoDOT and Innoventor intend to keep a close eye on the 500-foot stretch where history, of a kind, was made Wednesday morning. The state will monitor wear and tear on a road subjected to a lot of traffic in the seasons when the amusement park is open for business.

Lux and Innoventor see the earlier blessing by MoDOT as permission to move their work to a larger platform.

"We'll keep going ahead," he said, as workers tamped down the still-fresh asphalt with rolling machines. "We've shown this stuff can be processed at the farm, processed at an asphalt plant and put down on a road."

Other parties will be keeping an eye on what Innoventor has wrought as well.

The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency has an obvious interest in what Glenn Curtis, the chief of wastewater and infrastructure management for the Kansas City field office, calls a "fairly unique concept."

And Formica, with the Pork Producers Council, believes it is important to ascertain whether the value of manure-generated bio-oil offsets the cost the electricity, conventional fuel and other expenses needed to produce the substance.

As for Schien, he is making plans to manufacture the prototype on Rehmeier's farm for use at hog production facilities across the nation.

The plant, he says, will be located in the place where it all began: Barry, Ill.

Lemur
04-16-2010, 17:49
Sounds like a pork project to me, just another example of a local business with its snout in the trough.

Meanwhile, is that a fecal highway or are you just happy to see me?

Gregoshi
04-16-2010, 22:09
Sounds like a pork project to me, just another example of a local business with its snout in the trough.
Nah, it is new highway technology to improve vehicle safety via enhanced manu'rability.

Pannonian
04-17-2010, 13:16
Have you read the small print? (http://uk.videogames.games.yahoo.com/blog/article/11851/)

Gregoshi
04-17-2010, 15:19
High Street retailing giant GameStation decided to put this to the test and inserted a new clause into their terms and conditions earlier this month that granted them legal rights to the immortal souls of thousands of their online customers.
No problem. Just reload the previous save and re-do the purchase. :laugh4:

Lemur
04-17-2010, 23:49
"Mice that had their tails cut off, they were smothered in Vaseline and they had string tied around them" (http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5i96FAxxN0kduc0-ekqA2iJTdYwWgD9F4EBMO0)

SEATTLE — A convicted cocaine smuggler has been arrested for running what authorities say appears to be a bestiality farm in Washington state in which visitors could engage in all sorts of twisted sex acts with animals.

Douglas Spink was arrested at his ramshackle, heavily wooded compound near the Canadian border in Whatcom County along with a 51-year-old tourist from Great Britain who is accused of having sex with three dogs.

Dozens of dogs, horses and pet mice were seized, along with what investigators described as thousands of images of bestiality and apparent child pornography. The mice were euthanized, said Whatcom County Sheriff Bill Elfo, whose office assisted federal agents in the case.

"This stuff is just truly bizarre," he said. "These were mice that had their tails cut off, they were smothered in Vaseline and they had string tied around them." [...]

Spink has not been charged with any bestiality or child porn charges at this point, only with violating the terms of his supervised release. Stephen Clarke of Peterborough, England, was arrested on state charges for allegedly abusing the dogs.

Spink's lawyer, Howard Phillips, insisted there's no evidence his client violated the terms of his release. "There's no hard evidence he's been engaging in bestiality at all," Phillips said.

Spink [...]calls his operation Exitpoint Stallions Limitee and expounds at length on its Web site about his philosophy.

"Are we unconventional in our approach to stallion care? Absolutely," he writes.

He later adds: "We don't wall off sexual energy in our stallions as something dangerous or inappropriate, but rather channel that energy towards positive, safe, appropriate paths. There's a proper time and place for it, and we work towards those sorts of skills rather than fighting un-winnable fights against deeply-rooted instincts."

Crazed Rabbit
04-18-2010, 05:39
I just came here to post that. Truly, no one can compete with Washington for weirdness.

The Seattle Times story (http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2011623988_animalabuse17m.html).

CR

Lemur
04-18-2010, 22:17
Would you care for some ground black people with your pasta? (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/8627335.stm)

An Australian publisher has had to pulp and reprint a cook-book after one recipe listed "salt and freshly ground black people" instead of black pepper.

Penguin Group Australia had to reprint 7,000 copies of Pasta Bible last week, the Sydney Morning Herald has reported.

The reprint cost A$20,000 ($18,000; £12,000), but stock in bookshops will not be recalled as it is "extremely hard" to do so, Penguin said.

The recipe was for spelt tagliatelle with sardines and prosciutto.

Pannonian
04-18-2010, 22:49
Would you care for some ground black people with your pasta? (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/8627335.stm)

An Australian publisher has had to pulp and reprint a cook-book after one recipe listed "salt and freshly ground black people" instead of black pepper.

Penguin Group Australia had to reprint 7,000 copies of Pasta Bible last week, the Sydney Morning Herald has reported.

The reprint cost A$20,000 ($18,000; £12,000), but stock in bookshops will not be recalled as it is "extremely hard" to do so, Penguin said.

The recipe was for spelt tagliatelle with sardines and prosciutto.

Don't you mean spoilt taglines with sandals and prostitutes?

naut
04-19-2010, 01:06
Would you care for some ground black people with your pasta? (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/8627335.stm)

An Australian publisher has had to pulp and reprint a cook-book after one recipe listed "salt and freshly ground black people" instead of black pepper.

Penguin Group Australia had to reprint 7,000 copies of Pasta Bible last week, the Sydney Morning Herald has reported.

The reprint cost A$20,000 ($18,000; £12,000), but stock in bookshops will not be recalled as it is "extremely hard" to do so, Penguin said.

The recipe was for spelt tagliatelle with sardines and prosciutto.
My friend told me about it. The bookstore where she works was not happy at all. ~D

Cute Wolf
04-19-2010, 07:58
if that reverse (grounded white people) was happened in some third world countries, no one will care about that.....

InsaneApache
04-19-2010, 09:42
Black people go best on pasta and suchlike, white people is a must for a fried egg.

Hosakawa Tito
04-19-2010, 13:17
Black people go best on pasta and suchlike, white people is a must for a fried egg.

And here I thought is was all soylent green.

InsaneApache
04-19-2010, 13:53
Well green people go best on muesli. :laugh4:

drone
04-19-2010, 16:16
Black people go best on pasta and suchlike, white people is a must for a fried egg.

What kind if wines go best with those?

Lemur
04-19-2010, 16:51
Cat 1, Military Robots 0 (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/04/19/us_war_robots_out_of_control_cat_strike/)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/AppleiMissileLOLCat.jpg

Control over heavily armed US war robots fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan was lost last year after a cat climbed into machinery at an American command base and "fried everything", a US officer has confirmed. [...] "A cat climbed into one of the electronic nodes and fried everything," the colonel says [...]

It should be noted that when the satellite link to a Predator or Reaper is lost, the roboplane doesn't plunge to Earth or embark on a frenzied orgy of mechanised slaughter or anything. In general the plane simply circles where it is, awaiting further commands.

InsaneApache
04-19-2010, 17:24
What kind if wines go best with those?

I'd have to plump for a full red for the black people and a nice crisp white for the white people. Oh a rose for mixed race. :)

Louis VI the Fat
04-19-2010, 17:57
What kind if wines go best with those?Try it with a dark Negro (http://www.negroangelo.it/web/vini.asp).

Hosakawa Tito
04-20-2010, 23:15
What kind of wine goes with this? (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/edinburgh_and_east/8614136.stm) :sick:

Fragony
04-22-2010, 12:44
Haggis, try before bashing it. It's yummie with a good bitter pint. Pepper and chocolate work great by the way, so do mature wines and chocolate

Ronin
04-22-2010, 14:48
It should be noted that when the satellite link to a Predator or Reaper is lost, the roboplane doesn't ... embark on a frenzied orgy of mechanised slaughter or anything.

That would be so awesome!

Lemur
04-22-2010, 23:28
This has to be some kind of first:

Politician in gay district outed as straight (http://www.philly.com/philly/news/homepage/20100422_In_Pa__House_race__identity_politics_with_a_twist.html)

Veteran Rep. Babette Josephs (D., Phila.) last Thursday accused her primary opponent, Gregg Kravitz, of pretending to be bisexual in order to pander to lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender voters, a powerful bloc in the district.

"I outed him as a straight person," Josephs said during a fund-raiser at the Black Sheep Pub & Restaurant [...]

In an interview, Josephs said she stood by her comments about Kravitz. She said her opponent told her he was gay, then showed up at a campaign event with a woman who introduced herself as his girlfriend. On the trail, Kravitz has described himself as a "proud member of the LGBT community," and he discussed his bisexual orientation while pitching Liberty City for its endorsement.

Hosakawa Tito
04-22-2010, 23:43
Putting teeth in the fight against rape. Rape-Axe (http://www.globalpost.com/dispatch/study-abroad/100326/south-africa-rape-axe)


But Ehlers remembers clearly one sentence the young woman uttered: “If only I had teeth down there.”

That'll take a bite out of crime.

Lemur
04-23-2010, 00:32
Putting teeth in the fight against rape. Rape-Axe (http://www.globalpost.com/dispatch/study-abroad/100326/south-africa-rape-axe)
Huh, it sounds a lot like this (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showthread.php?80840-News-of-the-Weird&p=1502248&viewfull=1#post1502248). Maybe it's a re-branded version?

Lemur
04-23-2010, 12:48
Gayness, Baldness Caused by Chickens (http://www.guardian.co.uk/news/blog/2010/apr/22/chicken-causes-homosexuality-evo-morales)

Male pattern baldness and the mysteries of human sexuality are no puzzles for the president of Bolivia, who has declared they are caused by eating chicken. [...] Speaking at an environmental conference on Tuesday, Morales said chicken producers injected fowl with female hormones and insisted that "when men eat those chickens they experience deviances in being men".

The Bolivian president since 2005 added that eating chicken could make men go bald.

Morales's theories do not appear to have been immediately accepted by the scientific community, to put it mildly.

Lemur
04-24-2010, 00:43
Penis Enlargement Incompatible with Careers in Police, Military (http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE63M3LF20100423)

Forget about getting a job as a police officer in Indonesia's Papua if you have had your penis enlarged. You won't get it, according to local media reports citing the Papua police chief.

An applicant "will be asked whether or not his vital organ has been enlarged," said Papua police chief Bekto Suprapto, quoted on local website Kompas.com.

"If he has, he will be considered unfit to join the police or the military."

The ban was applied since the unnatural size causes "hindrance during training," said police spokesman Zainuri Lubis in Jakarta, quoted by news portal Detik.com.

Indonesia's remote easternmost province is home to Papuan tribes, many of whom are known for wearing penis gourds. [...] Papuans use a local technique to achieve the enlargement, according to a sexologist quoted by local newspaper Jakarta Globe, wrapping the penis with leaves from the "gatal-gatal" (itchy) tree so that it swells up "like it has been stung by a bee," the expert said.

Cute Wolf
04-25-2010, 19:45
Penis Enlargement Incompatible with Careers in Police, Military (http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE63M3LF20100423)

Forget about getting a job as a police officer in Indonesia's Papua if you have had your penis enlarged. You won't get it, according to local media reports citing the Papua police chief.

An applicant "will be asked whether or not his vital organ has been enlarged," said Papua police chief Bekto Suprapto, quoted on local website Kompas.com.

"If he has, he will be considered unfit to join the police or the military."

The ban was applied since the unnatural size causes "hindrance during training," said police spokesman Zainuri Lubis in Jakarta, quoted by news portal Detik.com.

Indonesia's remote easternmost province is home to Papuan tribes, many of whom are known for wearing penis gourds. [...] Papuans use a local technique to achieve the enlargement, according to a sexologist quoted by local newspaper Jakarta Globe, wrapping the penis with leaves from the "gatal-gatal" (itchy) tree so that it swells up "like it has been stung by a bee," the expert said.

You don't know how big a penis could be made with that technique.... sometimes they exceed 30 cm quickly.... (but must be hospitalized later, because swollen and dripping blood contionously)

Lemur
04-25-2010, 21:19
Best Charity EVAR: Stephen Baldwin (http://restorestephenbaldwin.org/qa.html)


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oAfzmm6ZvZ4

Q- Why does Stephen need personal wealth?
A- Stephen’s influence is in Hollywood. Hollywood worships money and without it you are seen as a loser and cannot be an effective influence to this group.

Q- How much money does he need?
A- From what I read in public court documents Stephen needs several million dollars to pay all of his creditors but he deserves hundreds of millions for his Job like faithfulness in the face of relentless loss and persecution.

al Roumi
04-26-2010, 10:06
Pope to open an abortion clinic, bless a gay marriage and launch a "Benedict" brand of Condoms during his September visit to the UK.

Foreign Office apologises for Pope 'condom' memo (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8642404.stm)

Lemur
04-26-2010, 15:56
That Dog Is a Gay Homosexual (http://news.ninemsn.com.au/national/1044530/Gay-dog-refused-entry-to-Adelaide-restaurant)

An Adelaide restaurant that refused a blind man entry because a waiter thought his guide dog was "gay" has been ordered to apologise and pay compensation. [...] The restaurant's owners said a misunderstanding had arisen between Jolly's female companion and a waiter who understood the woman "to be saying she wanted to bring a gay dog into the restaurant".

"The staff genuinely believed that Nudge was an ordinary pet dog which had been desexed to become a gay dog," the owners said in a statement to South Australia's Equal Opportunity Tribunal.

Or as South Park would put it ... (http://www.southparkstudios.com/episodes/103528/)

Lemur
04-27-2010, 17:05
Rabbi Seduces Wimminz With "Holy, Pure Semen" (http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3880829,00.html)

[Nissim] Aharon, a resident of Rishon Lezion, was arrested last August. The indictment issued against him said that for many years he presented himself as a righteous holy man with healing properties in order to prey on women and perform sexual acts on them. In addition, the women gave him large sums of money under false pretenses.

The indictment also revealed that Aharon, in his 60s, targeted a religious audience or those seeking to become religious. He lied to them, saying he is a holy, pure rabbi whom other rabbis consult. He would say that he is a hidden righteous man, one of the 36 righteous men in Judaism and fixes broken souls and controls angels.

To this end, he would tell women that his semen is a holy liquid, and whoever comes in physical contact with him will be healed in body and soul. He even went as far as to say that it is a religious commandment to touch the body of "Rabbi Nissim Aharon." He claimed that his holiness is transferred to others via physical contact and that it purifies them.

Vladimir
04-27-2010, 19:23
Gayness, Baldness Caused by Chickens (http://www.guardian.co.uk/news/blog/2010/apr/22/chicken-causes-homosexuality-evo-morales)

Male pattern baldness and the mysteries of human sexuality are no puzzles for the president of Bolivia, who has declared they are caused by eating chicken. [...] Speaking at an environmental conference on Tuesday, Morales said chicken producers injected fowl with female hormones and insisted that "when men eat those chickens they experience deviances in being men".

The Bolivian president since 2005 added that eating chicken could make men go bald.

Morales's theories do not appear to have been immediately accepted by the scientific community, to put it mildly.

I think it's linked to Coca Colla (http://www.fastcompany.com/1621687/bolivia-slips-coke-back-into-coca-colla).

Lemur
04-27-2010, 19:40
I think it's linked to Coca Colla (http://www.fastcompany.com/1621687/bolivia-slips-coke-back-into-coca-colla).
It feels weird for Lemur to point out an incident of Lemur's Disease, but, well, there you are (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showthread.php?80840-News-of-the-Weird&p=2470729&viewfull=1#post2470729).

Lemur
04-27-2010, 20:26
Indonesian Police Crack Down on Muscular, Bronzed Surf Whores (http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/04/28/2884216.htm)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/blr-santa-beachboys-37-resize.jpg

Police on Indonesia's resort island of Bali detained 28 people this week in a crackdown on "beach gigolos," who scout for foreign female tourists, officials said on Tuesday.

The raids began on Monday after the release of a trailer for a documentary on Bali's 'Kuta cowboys', the muscular and tanned Kuta beach surfers who develop short-term romantic relationships with foreign women in return for gifts.

'Cowboys in Paradise' follows the trials and tribulations of several beach boys, their families and their female patrons.

The documentary's Singapore-based director, Amit Virmani, said he found the arrests deplorable.

"A witch hunt for men with tanned and muscular bodies on the beach is the last thing anybody wants," he said. [...]

Wijaya said the raids were part of routine checks and not linked to the documentary, but local media reported that security officials were targeting tanned and muscular men.

-edit-

Found the trailer to the documentary. Under a tag because of exactly one F-bomb.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRgy4wiJVF0

drone
04-27-2010, 20:45
And Kadagar_AV sheds a tear. ~D

Vladimir
04-27-2010, 21:01
It feels weird for Lemur to point out an incident of Lemur's Disease, but, well, there you are (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showthread.php?80840-News-of-the-Weird&p=2470729&viewfull=1#post2470729).

Whoops. It looks like they were a few days behind the Guardian. Still, you can't beat the context though.

Hosakawa Tito
04-28-2010, 00:20
Hold the anchovies. (http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/04/19/2876405.htm?section=justin) If life gives you lemons....

Cute Wolf
04-28-2010, 07:45
Indonesian Police Crack Down on Muscular, Bronzed Surf Whores (http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/04/28/2884216.htm)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/blr-santa-beachboys-37-resize.jpg

Police on Indonesia's resort island of Bali detained 28 people this week in a crackdown on "beach gigolos," who scout for foreign female tourists, officials said on Tuesday.

The raids began on Monday after the release of a trailer for a documentary on Bali's 'Kuta cowboys', the muscular and tanned Kuta beach surfers who develop short-term romantic relationships with foreign women in return for gifts.

'Cowboys in Paradise' follows the trials and tribulations of several beach boys, their families and their female patrons.

The documentary's Singapore-based director, Amit Virmani, said he found the arrests deplorable.

"A witch hunt for men with tanned and muscular bodies on the beach is the last thing anybody wants," he said. [...]

Wijaya said the raids were part of routine checks and not linked to the documentary, but local media reported that security officials were targeting tanned and muscular men.

-edit-

Found the trailer to the documentary. Under a tag because of exactly one F-bomb.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRgy4wiJVF0

yeah, those stupid actions was done because some stupid legislators want to limit the freedom of exspression... you can always blame the stupid ******* because they think they can control anything with their stupid books and rules....

you can count on this as actual human rights violation (to have relationship with everyone)....

EDIT : if you want to read more about that, just translate this news:
http://www.detiknews.com/read/2010/04/28/052029/1346722/10/gigolo-bali-yang-penuh-kontroversi

personally, I think nothing is wrong with them.... the :daisy: legislators are just jealous because they are mostly fat man with black, hairy, and shapeless body... not to meant disease riddened... and had no hope to :daisy: some hot blondes without paying much money...

CountArach
04-28-2010, 08:48
Please keep political statement out of the News of the Weird thread. Thank you :bow:

Lemur
04-28-2010, 14:51
Best Health Minister EVAR (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/36785836/ns/health-sexual_health/)

Brazil's health minister has a remedy for the nation's high-blood-pressure problem: More sex.

Minister Jose Temporao says adults should be exercising more to help keep their blood pressure down — and he says a good cardiovascular workout includes sex, "always with protection, obviously."

Temporao also recommends dancing, a healthy diet and regular blood-pressure checks.

Lemur
04-28-2010, 17:46
Fragony bait: Not only do they hate our freedom, they hate our delicious wheat snacks (http://gawker.com/5523210/why-do-the-islamic-extremists-who-hate-south-park-also-hate-triscuits)

Revolution Muslim, the Islamic group that posted a veiled threat against South Park this week, called [Gawker media] "Darwinist ********* who are as despicable as the rest, walking around eating your Triscuits." But, we wondered, why Triscuits?

Younus Abdullah Mohammed, a member of the group, was behind the original quote. When pressed on his choice of Triscuits as a snack-based insult, he was curt in his response. "It doesn't matter what your favorite crackers or cookies are. They are not more important than the hegemonic wars the West is fighting against Islam." He refused to elaborate further on his disdain for the delicious wheaty squares.

The Triscuit website yields a few clues. Perhaps the squares, made of "soft white winter wheat," are too decadent. Indeed the ingredient is described as "a kind of cashmere of wheat because of its soft texture and delicate taste."

Tellos Athenaios
04-28-2010, 17:56
Fragony bait: Not only do they hate our freedom, they hate our delicious wheat snacks (http://gawker.com/5523210/why-do-the-islamic-extremists-who-hate-south-park-also-hate-triscuits)

Revolution Muslim, the Islamic group that posted a veiled threat against South Park this week, called [Gawker media] "Darwinist ********* who are as despicable as the rest, walking around eating your Triscuits." But, we wondered, why Triscuits?

Younus Abdullah Mohammed, a member of the group, was behind the original quote. When pressed on his choice of Triscuits as a snack-based insult, he was curt in his response. "It doesn't matter what your favorite crackers or cookies are. They are not more important than the hegemonic wars the West is fighting against Islam." He refused to elaborate further on his disdain for the delicious wheaty squares.

The Triscuit website yields a few clues. Perhaps the squares, made of "soft white winter wheat," are too decadent. Indeed the ingredient is described as "a kind of cashmere of wheat because of its soft texture and delicate taste."

Why leave out the best bit?
The author(s) of the article contacted a marketing rep of Kraft foods, who among other things replied:

"(Pause.) Everyone loves Triscuits, and we hope that everyone enjoys them."

A Share & Enjoy if ever there was one.

Conqueror
04-28-2010, 19:39
A german muslim christian democrat apologises for her earlier statement that crucifixes and headscarves don't belong in german public schools. (Link) (http://www.thelocal.de/politics/20100426-26797.html)

Lemur
04-28-2010, 20:11
Conqueror, how is that News of the Weird? Maybe you meant to post that item somewhere else?

Vladimir
04-28-2010, 20:35
Conqueror, how is that News of the Weird? Maybe you meant to post that item somewhere else?

Umm, hello McFly:


A german muslim christian democrat apologises for her earlier statement that crucifixes and headscarves don't belong in german public schools. (Link) (http://www.thelocal.de/politics/20100426-26797.html)

...eating a bacon egg and cheese bagel on Friday would have made it perfect.

Conqueror
04-28-2010, 20:39
Thought it was, well, weird for lack of a better word. But I see how it might be misplaced in the company of holy rabbinic semen. Should I delete the post?

Gregoshi
04-28-2010, 20:51
Thought it was, well, weird for lack of a better word. But I see how it might be misplaced in the company of holy rabbinic semen. Should I delete the post?
I think Lemur should apologize for his earlier statement that stories about German Muslim Christian Democrats don't belong in the NotW thread. :laugh4:

Lemur
04-28-2010, 21:05
I will issue a public apology and spend an hour in the stocks. Sorry, I got over-sensitized to inappropriate Euro-Islam stories popping into NotW after a rash of Dutch incidents. My bad, entirely my bad.

Gregoshi
04-28-2010, 21:16
I will issue a public apology and spend an hour in the stocks.
Apology, yes. Stocks? No. Hire an aid, blame them, and send them to the stocks. The stock aid can be your defense.

Vladimir
04-28-2010, 22:02
The stock aid can be your defense.

Huh. :-/

Gregoshi
04-28-2010, 22:09
Huh. :-/
Stock aid/stockade...you may groan now.

Hosakawa Tito
04-28-2010, 23:01
Pull up a stool at the Rectum Bar (http://www.boingboing.net/2010/04/20/rectum-themed-bar.html). Looks like my kind of place, warts and all.

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v517/hoppy84/rectumbar.jpg

Louis VI the Fat
04-28-2010, 23:10
I will issue a public apology and spend an hour in the stocks. Sorry, I got over-sensitized to inappropriate Euro-Islam stories popping into NotW after a rash of Dutch incidents. My bad, entirely my bad.But it is heavily political! Even if posted for amusement only. Your spidey instinct was quite correct.
It is a Turkish German, accustomed to Turkey's fiercely secular traditions, in collision with Germany's tradition of halfhearted secularism. As a woman of faith, she belongs to the German confessional party of the CDU, the Christian-Democrats. As a Turkish German, she has very different traditions. The difference in tradition, the fault-line, is not between Islam and Christianity, but between secular and confessional. The Euro crazy gang, me and Brenus and Frags etc, get our knickers in a twist over this sort of stuff!


That just to make the NOTW thread an even more stressful occurance for you than it already is! :beam:



Speaking of Fragony, our master of the pwniverse, check out this Little Pwny (http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/object/article?f=/n/a/2010/04/27/national/a085027D47.DTL&object=%2Fn%2Fp%2F2010%2F04%2F25%2F4eb0de40-3867-4b29-b087-ceb819ee8e46.jpg), the world's smallest foal:

https://img9.imageshack.us/img9/5065/4eb0de4038674b29b087ceb.jpg

drone
04-28-2010, 23:27
Pull up a stool at the Rectum Bar (http://www.boingboing.net/2010/04/20/rectum-themed-bar.html). Looks like my kind of place, warts and all.
Can you sit in a booth, or is it just a bunch of stools?

Lemur
04-29-2010, 00:25
Can you sit in a booth, or is it just a bunch of stools?
Ow. Ow ow ow. A pun worthy of Gregoshi himself.

Gregoshi
04-29-2010, 15:17
The Rectum Bar serves Heineken I presume.

BTW, good one drone. :laugh4: Until just now the only stuff I could come up with were rather uncouth and unpostable and mostly covered by the comments section below the article. :shrug:

Major Robert Dump
04-29-2010, 20:02
Wow. The fifty comments on the rectum article just made my week

Lemur
04-29-2010, 23:01
Capitalism at its absolute best. How has the lemur marriage survived all these years without a Better Marriage Blanket™?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bM4eJ38S7Hw

Vladimir
04-29-2010, 23:37
Take your marriage to MOPP 4 today!

Hosakawa Tito
04-30-2010, 00:25
Capitalism at its absolute best. How has the lemur marriage survived all these years without a Better Marriage Blanket™?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bM4eJ38S7Hw

I know what I'm getting for Father's Day. I wonder if they have a flame retardant model? My flatulence molecules are particularly volatile.

Lemur
04-30-2010, 14:36
Good thing he didn't call her "psycho hose-beast" (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100429/ap_on_fe_st/us_odd_fat_attack)

LINCOLN, Neb. – Police say a 24-year-old man is missing a chunk of his right ear that was bitten off by a woman who didn't like being called "fat." Police spokeswoman Katie Flood said officers were called to a Lincoln hospital around 3:25 a.m. Wednesday to talk to the injured man.

He told them that he'd been bitten at a party.

Flood said officers later learned that the injured man and two others had been arguing with other people at the birthday party. Flood says the man told 21-year-old Anna Godfrey that she was fat.

Officers said Godfrey then tackled the man and took a bite.

Flood said the ear chunk was not found.

Lemur
04-30-2010, 20:16
Today is vaginal rejuvenation awareness day! (http://www.24-7pressrelease.com/press-release/1st-annual-vaginal-rejuvenation-awareness-day-april-30th-2010-vaginalsurgeryinfo-148322.php)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/Designer_Pink_Coach_Coin_Purse_Insi.jpg

SAN ANTONIO, TX -- Vaginal-Surgery.info is excited to announce the 1st Annual Vaginal Rejuvenation Awareness Day will take place on Friday, April 30, 2010.

With Mother's Day right around the corner, now is the perfect time to shine some light on a condition millions of mothers suffer with daily and yet never talk about. [...] "Frankly, vaginal rejuvenation is often sold as 'better sex'. I think that has a lot to do with the surgeons that pioneered cosmetic gynecology. However, in my experience, better sex is usually secondary for these women. The primary benefits are actually no more urine leakage or prolapse issues and simply feeling "normal" again. Better sex really just ends up being the icing on the cake."

Lemur
04-30-2010, 20:18
Teacher with rabbit phobia to sue 14-year-old for drawing bunny (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/germany/7657569/Teacher-with-rabbit-phobia-to-sue-14-year-old-for-drawing-bunny.html)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/frank.jpg

A teacher with a phobia over rabbits is suing a 14-year-old pupil for compensation after she drew a bunny on the blackboard.

The teacher, from Vechta, Germany, says she was traumatised by the drawing, and claims the girl knew it would terrify her.

She had transferred to the school where a pupil from her former school had just become a pupil and told her new friends about the teacher's fear of rabbits.

"We did it for fun and out of curiosity", one of the girls told a court, adding, "We wanted to see if she would really freak out."

Hosakawa Tito
05-01-2010, 00:59
Which is faster, a supercomputer or a cat's brain? (http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/pets/2010/04/19/2010-04-19_university_of_michigan_computer_that_learns_and_recognizes_uses_cat_brain_as_mod.html)


You do realize that this computer will be in "sleep mode" 90% of the time.:laugh4:

5% food.
3% play.
2% do it yourself I'm not interested.

Hosakawa Tito
05-01-2010, 01:06
The long arm of British law. (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/7606600/Man-loses-licence-after-drink-driving-in-toy-Barbie-car.html) I bet Ken is pissed.

Gregoshi
05-01-2010, 02:16
The long arm of British law. (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/7606600/Man-loses-licence-after-drink-driving-in-toy-Barbie-car.html) I bet Ken is pissed.
The tale of Ken and Bobby.

Tellos Athenaios
05-01-2010, 02:57
Which is faster, a supercomputer or a cat's brain? (http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/pets/2010/04/19/2010-04-19_university_of_michigan_computer_that_learns_and_recognizes_uses_cat_brain_as_mod.html)

:laugh4:

5% food.
3% play.
2% do it yourself I'm not interested.

Which is why the scientists may have a hard time: the final objective is to study human brains like that.
But they already set their sight on an animal that is efficient enough to play, nap, or sunbathe 90% of the time.

Lemur
05-01-2010, 14:20
Please stop stealing porn. Think of the children!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xNzsTHA1nI

Gregoshi
05-01-2010, 17:50
Please stop stealing porn. Think of the children!
:stop: in the name of love. Don't be an X-con or a :7pirate: 'arrrrdened criminal. Stop the rise in illegal downloads. :mask: Please pay for your porn.

Crazed Rabbit
05-01-2010, 19:56
Please stop stealing porn. Think of the children!

Huh. Two wrongs can make a right.

CR

naut
05-02-2010, 11:09
:laugh4:

InsaneApache
05-02-2010, 11:30
A 74-year-old retired teacher, identified only as Axel G., was accused of terrorising a local pool, where cannonballs, or Arschbomben, (literally "ass bombs") are forbidden, according to a report in The Local.

He appeared before the Alzey district court this week to appeal the fine. According to The Local, the pensioner had been accused of terrorising fellow swimmers for years with his explosive dives, spitting in the water and even dunking a young girl underwater.

Axel G. initially denied all of the charges, but CCTV footage of the pool revealed evidence of the disruptive diving.

He has since withdrawn his appeal, and has agreed to pay the fine.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/germany/7661291/German-pensioner-fined-14000-for-cannonball-dives-at-public-pool.html

Dat guy is da bomb! :embarassed: :laugh4:

Hosakawa Tito
05-02-2010, 15:25
I'd claim dementia and that I was reliving my childhood.

Gregoshi
05-02-2010, 15:36
Dat guy is da bomb! :embarassed: :laugh4:
I was never much of a fan of Cannonballs. Can-openers, Suicides and King Suicides were (and are) my specialty. They give a better splash than the Cannonball.

As for the other charges, peeing in the pool is fine, but I draw the line at spitting. Gross!! :laugh4:

InsaneApache
05-02-2010, 16:40
When I used to work on the baths, all the staff where I worked went en masse to the pool in the north of the city and did everything that you wern't supposed to do. Running, shouting, bombing, etc. etc. Needless to say we were all chucked out by our northern collegues. We were all hauled in front of the manager the next day and given a dressing down. What fun though. :laugh4:

Lemur
05-02-2010, 18:11
As for the other charges, peeing in the pool is fine [...]
No. No no no. I will never visit your local pool, so help me God.

Gregoshi
05-02-2010, 19:08
No. No no no. I will never visit your local pool, so help me God.
For the record, I have never peed in a pool (or lake or ocean) - well, except maybe as baby. I personally find it disgusting and have no problem getting out of the pool and utilizing the facilities designed for such activities. I said I was fine with it...in the sense that people pee in pools and there is little one can do about it. Unless someone develops a pool chemical that changes colour when it comes in contact with urine. Then everyone will know who's peeing in the water. :laugh4:

KukriKhan
05-02-2010, 20:07
Latest Twist in Creative Funeral Directing (http://www.autoblog.com/2010/04/27/puerto-rican-funeral-home-presents-shooting-victim-on-his-motorc/)

https://jimcee.homestead.com/100427muerto1630.jpg


If you thought you'd previously seen it all, well, you're wrong. Case in point: David Morales Colón, a 22-year-old Puerto Rican man who was shot to death last Thursday [...] Instead of the traditional presentation of the body in a casket, Mr. Colón's corpse, dressed in casual duds and sunglasses, was instead posed in a very lifelike position atop his Repsol-liveried Honda CBR600 F4

Highway to Hell.

Hosakawa Tito
05-02-2010, 20:59
Hehehe, very original. They'll have to play Meatloaf's "Bat Out of Hell" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9hLcRU5wE4) during the service.~:thumb:

Gregoshi
05-02-2010, 21:52
Hehehe, very original. They'll have to play Meatloaf's "Bat Out of Hell" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9hLcRU5wE4) during the service.~:thumb:
Mine would be of me sitting in front of the computer with the Org on the screen. :shrug:

Tellos Athenaios
05-03-2010, 03:23
And requires a pun-o-generator capable of posting its output on News Of The Weird.

Tellos Athenaios
05-03-2010, 20:27
Alice in Playmobil land (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/04/30/playmobil_video/)


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Im0WSWYYkT8&feature=player_embedded

Lemur
05-03-2010, 23:54
Who Would Have Thought Inserting an Eel in Your Rectum Could Be Dangerous? (http://shanghaiist.com/2010/05/01/man_in_sichuan_dies_after_friends_i.php)

A man has died after an eel that was inserted into his rectum gnawed away at his bowels, causing agonising injuries which were eventually fatal.

The 59-year-old man, a chef, was reportedly taken to a Sichuan hospital complaining of abdominal pain, dehydration and a great deal of anal bleeding. He was soon diagnosed as being in a severe state of shock.

Doctors were mystified as to the cause, and obtained permission from his family to undertake an exploratory laparotomy. Cutting open his innards, they discovered a 50cm long Asian swamp eel lodged in his rectum.

Though dead, the eel had apparently already wrought havoc on his innards, biting its way through his intestines prior to dying. Internal bleeding and infection rapidly set in. [...]

The likely cause was eventually established - he had apparently been drinking with friends, and had passed out. His friends had decided it would be amusing to insert a live eel into his anus whilst he was comatose.

Gregoshi
05-04-2010, 01:47
Poor eel. He could have been on the menu, but noooooo...

aimlesswanderer
05-04-2010, 09:46
He has such nice "friends"! He's lucky they didn't put him on a land mine and spray cold water on him from a suitable distance.

Hosakawa Tito
05-04-2010, 10:54
Who Would Have Thought Inserting an Eel in Your Rectum Could Be Dangerous? (http://shanghaiist.com/2010/05/01/man_in_sichuan_dies_after_friends_i.php)

A man has died after an eel that was inserted into his rectum gnawed away at his bowels, causing agonising injuries which were eventually fatal.

The 59-year-old man, a chef, was reportedly taken to a Sichuan hospital complaining of abdominal pain, dehydration and a great deal of anal bleeding. He was soon diagnosed as being in a severe state of shock.

Doctors were mystified as to the cause, and obtained permission from his family to undertake an exploratory laparotomy. Cutting open his innards, they discovered a 50cm long Asian swamp eel lodged in his rectum.

Though dead, the eel had apparently already wrought havoc on his innards, biting its way through his intestines prior to dying. Internal bleeding and infection rapidly set in. [...]

The likely cause was eventually established - he had apparently been drinking with friends, and had passed out. His friends had decided it would be amusing to insert a live eel into his anus whilst he was comatose.

A companion piece (http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/353223/the_dreaded_candiru_aka_penis_fish.html). and this (http://animal.discovery.com/fish/river-monsters/candiru-catfish/).
This may have been posted before. I saw the story on Animal Planet's "River Monsters" program the other night. Happened to a native peeing in the Amazon river. This thing swam up his pee stream into his penis and he needed surgery to remove it. Gives me the willies.:sweatdrop:

Gregoshi
05-04-2010, 13:07
A companion piece (http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/353223/the_dreaded_candiru_aka_penis_fish.html). and this (http://animal.discovery.com/fish/river-monsters/candiru-catfish/).
This may have been posted before. I saw the story on Animal Planet's "River Monsters" program the other night. Happened to a native peeing in the Amazon river. This thing swam up his pee stream into his penis and he needed surgery to remove it. Gives me the willies.:sweatdrop:
On the bright side, at least they don't swim up stream to spawn... :stunned:

Lemur
05-04-2010, 13:35
Oakland, CA, Low on Marijuana: Public Health Emergency Declared (http://www.eastbayexpress.com/LegalizationNation/archives/2010/04/30/lack-of-weed-an-emergency-in-oakland)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/DOG-BIRTHDAY.jpg

The City of Oakland is set to renew its declaration of a “local public health emergency” stemming from a local lack of medicinal cannabis. [...]

The fine print of the declaration basically states that the people of California and the City of Oakland have voted for legal medicinal cannabis, because it helps the sick, hurting and dying. The sick and dying have such a need that the city of Oakland itself has tried help them get the plant. But the United States has blocked Oakland's efforts, sent the sick into the streets to get their medicine and perpetuated their suffering. [...]

The Oakland City Council is expected to quickly pass the declaration at their scheduled meeting next week.

Tellos Athenaios
05-05-2010, 07:42
'Goodness, evilness makes you powerful' - like the Force (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/04/20/harvard_good_evil_powers/): Pure heart = x10 strength. Lust, hatred = mind choke?


Profs at Harvard uni, Cambridge*, America, say they have discovered a crucial meta-physiological effect. Being extremely good and moral - or conversely highly evil - actually confers mental and even physical powers on a person.[...]

Rather than those naturally endowed with superior abilities having the potential to achieve great things for good or evil, says Gray, it is more the case that being very pure or deeply villainous confers corresponding powers.[...]

The Harvard egghead bases his assertions on studies in which subjects were given a dollar and offered the choice of donating it to charity or selfishly keeping it. It turned out that the charitable types were then able to hold up a 5lb weight significantly longer than those who sniggeringly trousered the cash.

Similarly, other subjects who wrote stories in which they did good deeds turned out to be noticeably stronger than those whose tales depicted them neither harming nor helping others.

Worryingly, though, test subjects who wrote stories in which they figured as baleful malefactors turned out to be even stronger than the goody-goodies.

"Whether you're saintly or nefarious, there seems to be power in moral events," Gray says.[...]

Lemur
05-05-2010, 21:46
Italy hosts its first-ever "divorce fair" (http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE64455520100505)

MILAN - Italy is holding its first divorce fair, offering services such as life coaching and beauty advice to a booming number of separating couples in the Catholic country. [...] "Smiling is key to this fair, which also offers serious, practical advice for often dramatic situations," Franco Zanetti, who created the event, told Reuters.

The services include divorce planning, anti-stalking help, and "new look" tips, the organizers said.

Vladimir
05-06-2010, 13:24
Number one cause of divorce: Financial problems. :laugh4:

Gregoshi
05-06-2010, 14:58
Isn't "divorce fair" an oxymoron? :inquisitive:

Lemur
05-06-2010, 15:34
Texas Cops Need Help Getting Rid Of 200,000 Pounds Of Weed (http://www.tokeofthetown.com/2010/05/texas_cops_need_help_getting_rid_of_200000_pounds.php)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/DOG-BIRTHDAY.jpg

The Brooks County Sheriff's Department has a marijuana problem. They've got 200,000 pounds of pot, and they're complaining that it would be too expensive to destroy it.

"This is a problem that doesn't seem to be going away and anything we can get to help us to dispose of these cases once they're done and to get ready for the next one that are coming in would be a great help," said Deputy Daniel Davila. [...]

It's a priority for the current sheriff to get rid of the hundreds of thousands of pounds of pot. Deputies destroyed some of the bundles of bud with two visits to the Department of Public Safety incinerator in McAllen, Texas last year, but it cost them nearly $30,000.

The problem seems to be unwrapping the plastic off the marijuana, commonly used by Mexican drug smugglers, and Brooks County just doesn't have the manpower to do that. The county has a small sheriff's department, with only seven patrol officers and one criminal investigator.

"(It's) very time consuming," Deputy Davila said. "Probably for preparation to get it ready a week or more, whatever trailers we are going to use to transport it up there, and it would take several officers especially to remove the plastic from the contraband."

Gregoshi
05-06-2010, 17:18
Lemur, that dog picture is really disturbing. And you've used it twice now.

drone
05-06-2010, 17:44
Texas Cops Need Help Getting Rid Of 200,000 Pounds Of Weed (http://www.tokeofthetown.com/2010/05/texas_cops_need_help_getting_rid_of_200000_pounds.php)
The solution is obvious. Send it to Oakland. :yes:

Whenever I see that dog, or read the Cali legalization thread, Cypress Hill plays in my head. :music:

Rhyfelwyr
05-06-2010, 18:08
Is this what I get for unleashing that creepy dog on the PUPPIES thread?

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!

Lemur
05-06-2010, 18:27
Lemur, that dog picture is really disturbing. And you've used it twice now.
It's the most stoned-looking animal I have ever seen, so I've adopted it as my go-to graphic for any weed-related post.

Lemur
05-06-2010, 21:30
Most Excellent Cannibalism Defense: "We Were Hungry!" (http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/may/06/russian-convicted-killing-eating-girl)

A Russian court has convicted two men of murdering and eating a 16-year-old schoolgirl in January.

The St Petersburg city court sentenced a 21-year-old goth-rock musician to 19 years in a maximum-security prison. His 20-year-old accomplice was sentenced to 18 years.

The court said the musician lured his victim to his apartment building, where he and his friend drowned her in a bathtub and cooked parts of her body in an oven.

The men pleaded not guilty. In testimony they said they had killed the girl because they "were hungry".

Hosakawa Tito
05-06-2010, 21:44
Gimme tongue. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-p-09FJBcw) I always wanted to be able to lick my eyebrows.:laugh4:

drone
05-06-2010, 22:09
Gimme tongue. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-p-09FJBcw) I always wanted to be able to lick my eyebrows.:laugh4:
That dude is going to be very popular with the ladies. :pimp:

Veho Nex
05-07-2010, 02:02
Staring at breast will make men live longer (http://www.themedguru.com/20091206/newsfeature/stare-boobs-longer-life-study-86131320.html)


"According to Dr. Karen Weatherby, a gerontologist and author of the study, gawking at women’s breasts is a healthy practice, almost at par with an intense exercise regime, that prolongs the lifespan of a man by five years. She added, "Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female, is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out.""]According to Dr. Karen Weatherby, a gerontologist and author of the study, gawking at women’s breasts is a healthy practice, almost at par with an intense exercise regime, that prolongs the lifespan of a man by five years. She added, "Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female, is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out."

Lemur
05-10-2010, 01:29
Mother's Day epic fail:

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/MothersDayFail.jpg

Furunculus
05-10-2010, 08:41
Japans most dangerous religious sport, where death is an honourable outcome:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/japan/7703924/Two-die-in-Japans-notorious-tree-sliding-religious-festival.html

gaelic cowboy
05-10-2010, 18:02
Starving yogi' astounds Indian scientists (http://uk.news.yahoo.com/18/20100510/tod-starving-yogi-astounds-indian-scient-451ab4f.html)

Gregoshi
05-10-2010, 18:33
Starving yogi' astounds Indian scientists (http://uk.news.yahoo.com/18/20100510/tod-starving-yogi-astounds-indian-scient-451ab4f.html)
I bet no one has shown him a pic-a-nic bask-et (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ZQy4U-Xlqc&feature=related). :laugh4:

gaelic cowboy
05-10-2010, 18:38
I bet no one has shown him a pic-a-nic bask-et (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ZQy4U-Xlqc&feature=related). :laugh4:

better be careful about those could be a trap (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dj3dOfNlD68)

Hosakawa Tito
05-10-2010, 23:51
Staring at breast will make men live longer (http://www.themedguru.com/20091206/newsfeature/stare-boobs-longer-life-study-86131320.html)

You could be immortal staring at her (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1271378/Bedbound-boobs-Julia-Manihuari-operation-remove-2-5st-flesh.html?ito=feeds-newsxml).

Gregoshi
05-11-2010, 02:41
You could be immortal staring at her (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1271378/Bedbound-boobs-Julia-Manihuari-operation-remove-2-5st-flesh.html?ito=feeds-newsxml).
Yodel ay eee ooo...
That was in poor
taste Greg :shame:
:thinking2:

Furunculus
05-11-2010, 08:19
Investment bankers correctly bet on the election result, and have a £80,000 pound champagne party to celebrate:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/7706715/Bankers-hit-jackpot-with-election-bet.html

Tellos Athenaios
05-11-2010, 15:40
Dictionary siphons driven by atmospheric pressure since 1911: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/05/10/siphon_dictionary_error/

Vladimir
05-11-2010, 17:47
Well that sucks.

Vladimir
05-11-2010, 18:35
Lies!!!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/earth/hi/earth_news/newsid_8664000/8664542.stm

They just want us to think that.

Crazed Rabbit
05-11-2010, 19:18
The not-so-amazing Yo-yo man. (http://deadspin.com/5535220/fake-yo+yo-trickster-fools-every-tv-station-everywhere)


A strange, strange man has been showing up on morning shows throughout the Midwest, claiming to be a yo-yo trick champion. He is not. He is actually terrible at yo-yo. Yet he keeps getting on the air.

Little is known about "K-Strass," who goes by Kenny Strasser, or sometimes Karl Strassburg. He claims to be from Wisconsin (except when he doesn't). He claims to be from a broken home, with his own addiction issues (except when he isn't).

All we know is that K-Strass has shown up on television six times in the past month, showing off his yo-yo "skills" and generally embarrassing the hosts.


His latest appearance occurred Thursday morning on KQTV's "Hometown This Morning," in St. Joseph, Mo.

"He got us," said Bridget Blevins, the station's news director. "I hate that we got duped."

And how good was he with the yo-yo, a skill Strasser has said made him a champion? "He did some really lame things. He hit himself in the face and the groin with his yo-yo," Blevins said.

Lisa Malak, who anchors the "Sunday Morning" show on WFRV in Green Bay, thought it would be fun to book somebody who said he was a yo-yo champion. When Strasser showed up April 11, he said he forgot the string for his yo-yo. With no tricks, Malak and Strasser spent their live TV segment talking.

"It was the most bizarre thing that has ever happened to me on the air," Malak said.


Videos at the link.

CR

Peasant Phill
05-11-2010, 19:20
And here I thought the threat of the giant octosquids was long forgotten on this forum.

Vladimir
05-11-2010, 20:08
And here I thought the threat of the giant octosquids was long forgotten on this forum.

Never forget!

Can someone photoshop a giant squid destroying the world trade center...and sinking the Arizona?

Hosakawa Tito
05-11-2010, 23:02
The King and Dr. Nick. (http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2010/05/06/2010-05-06_constipation_killed_elvis_presley_claims_his_personal_physician_dr_george_nichop.html)



We didn't realize until the autopsy that his constipation was as bad," he said, noting that when he died there was waste in his colon that was several months old.




Too much information.:sweatdrop:

drone
05-11-2010, 23:29
The King and Dr. Nick. (http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2010/05/06/2010-05-06_constipation_killed_elvis_presley_claims_his_personal_physician_dr_george_nichop.html)


Too much information.:sweatdrop:
Well, he did die on the john...

Furunculus
05-12-2010, 07:45
God I love the Russians, no mess around:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/piracy/7713375/Somali-pirates-captured-and-released-by-Russian-navy-have-died.html


The 10 pirates were captured last week after seizing a Russian oil tanker but were then unexpectedly released, with Russian officials saying there was insufficient legal basis to keep them in detention and that they would be too expensive to feed.

"According to the latest information, the pirates who seized the Moscow University oil tanker failed to reach the shore. Evidently, they have all died," the high-ranking source was quoted as saying by Russia's official news agencies.

The source said that radio signals from the boat stopped just one hour after it had been set free by the Russian navy. No details were given over the manner in which they could have lost their lives.

lulz, what kidders! :D

Beskar
05-12-2010, 07:53
I am amazed that the Moscow University has its own oil tanker.

aimlesswanderer
05-12-2010, 08:43
I am amazed that the Moscow University has its own oil tanker.
One of the Oligarchs must have needed to get a dopey kid enrolled.

Pannonian
05-12-2010, 09:55
Thai red shirts face army siege (http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/may/12/thailand-red-shirt-protesters-siege)

I think they're doomed.

Banquo's Ghost
05-12-2010, 12:52
Thai red shirts face army siege (http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/may/12/thailand-red-shirt-protesters-siege)

I think they're doomed.

:inquisitive: Why is that in NoTW? It's not remotely weird.

Pannonian
05-12-2010, 12:55
:inquisitive: Why is that in NoTW? It's not remotely weird.

It's not weird, but I was tickled by the headline, but I didn't have enough commentary to merit a separate thread. I think you've told me off before for starting a thread for this purpose, so NoTW it was.

Gregoshi
05-12-2010, 13:31
Thai red shirts face army siege (http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/may/12/thailand-red-shirt-protesters-siege)

I think they're doomed.
I don't. I think this confrontation will end in a Thai.

Louis VI the Fat
05-12-2010, 17:29
Thai red shirts face army siege (http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/may/12/thailand-red-shirt-protesters-siege)

I think they're doomed. I think the end of the Red shirts means we'll see some Thai died again.

Hosakawa Tito
05-12-2010, 23:01
Oh boy a pun off!

A Chimp and His Toolkit. (http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/04/science/04tier.html) I believe we've been lapped in the evolutionary race. We have to crinkle money to accomplish this...

Pannonian
05-12-2010, 23:02
I don't. I think this confrontation will end in a Thai.

You're probably right. I think they'll manage to kling on.

Louis VI the Fat
05-12-2010, 23:35
You're probably right. I think they'll manage to kling on.I thought Banquo had warned you about keeping the NotW thread on trek. :no:

If only Kukri were still the mod, you'd now face the wrath of 'Khan.

Beskar
05-13-2010, 00:27
For those who do not get it, I will say it bluntly. In Star Trek, the Original Series, the crewmember wearing red will always die. This are known as "red-shirts", simply a character whose purpose in the story is to simply die.

Gregoshi
05-13-2010, 12:32
For those who do not get it, I will say it bluntly. In Star Trek, the Original Series, the crewmember wearing red will always die. This are known as "red-shirts", simply a character whose purpose in the story is to simply die dye.
Fix it for Louis.

miotas
05-13-2010, 13:08
Promiscuous women cause earthquakes. (http://www.news.com.au/world/promiscuous-women-make-the-earth-move-says-senior-cleric/story-e6frfkyi-1225855773824) These men are mad. If promiscuous women really can cause earthquakes then they should instead worship these promiscuous women and ask forgiveness for their conservative ways. Maybe then their homes will be spared.

Hosakawa Tito
05-13-2010, 13:31
For all those considering marriage, when NOT to hyphenate your name. (http://cbs13.com/slideshows/Married.Names.Hyphenate.20.462840.html) :laugh4:

Gregoshi
05-13-2010, 14:19
Promiscuous women cause earthquakes. (http://www.news.com.au/world/promiscuous-women-make-the-earth-move-says-senior-cleric/story-e6frfkyi-1225855773824) These men are mad. If promiscuous women really can cause earthquakes then they should instead worship these promiscuous women and ask forgiveness for their conservative ways. Maybe then their homes will be spared.
The new Quaker women.

Re: name hyphenation: :laugh4: they were killing me. :laugh4:

Lemur
05-13-2010, 14:22
Alpaca Kidnapped, Beaten (http://www.tri-cityherald.com/2010/05/13/1012525/alpacas-savage-beating-in-ohio.html)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/zodiac20alpaca20dante.jpg

CINCINNATI—Almost as comforting as the soft sweaters made from alpaca fleece is the affection that the llama-like animals from South America bestow on their owners. Jeff Pergram's alpaca, named Masterpiece, would trail and nuzzle him.

So it was heartbreaking not only to Pergram, but also to owners throughout the state known as "Little Peru" for its thriving alpaca industry, when Masterpiece was stolen, beaten to death with a makeshift club and dumped in a barn.

"I can't imagine anyone looking into the gentle eyes of an alpaca and doing such a thing," said Beth Kressin, an alpaca owner in Medina, in northeast Ohio. [...]

The attack is still discussed at alpaca shows, and owners and others have registered their distress on websites such as a "Justice for Masterpiece" Facebook page, which has drawn thousands of comments. [...]

Ohio leads the country in registered alpacas with 25,000. More than 150,000 alpacas are registered in the United States, according to the national association, based in Nashville, Tenn.

Hosakawa Tito
05-13-2010, 16:49
Alpaca Kidnapped, Beaten (http://www.tri-cityherald.com/2010/05/13/1012525/alpacas-savage-beating-in-ohio.html)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/zodiac20alpaca20dante.jpg

CINCINNATI—Almost as comforting as the soft sweaters made from alpaca fleece is the affection that the llama-like animals from South America bestow on their owners. Jeff Pergram's alpaca, named Masterpiece, would trail and nuzzle him.

So it was heartbreaking not only to Pergram, but also to owners throughout the state known as "Little Peru" for its thriving alpaca industry, when Masterpiece was stolen, beaten to death with a makeshift club and dumped in a barn.

"I can't imagine anyone looking into the gentle eyes of an alpaca and doing such a thing," said Beth Kressin, an alpaca owner in Medina, in northeast Ohio. [...]

The attack is still discussed at alpaca shows, and owners and others have registered their distress on websites such as a "Justice for Masterpiece" Facebook page, which has drawn thousands of comments. [...]

Ohio leads the country in registered alpacas with 25,000. More than 150,000 alpacas are registered in the United States, according to the national association, based in Nashville, Tenn.

Hopefully they try that with this one (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M70QY6uWo5Y&feature=fvw).
Come get some.

Lemur
05-13-2010, 16:58
Indian police given moustache pay (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/3392809.stm)

Police in a district in India's Madhya Pradesh state are being paid to grow moustaches because bosses believe it makes them command more respect.

Ten policemen in the northern state are already receiving 30 rupees (66 US cents) every month for their efforts.

Jhabua district police chief Mayank Jain told BBC News Online: "The response is growing and in the months ahead we expect to see more moustachioed policemen.

"Moustaches are improving the personalities of our constables. They are acquiring an aura of their own. They are creating a positive impression on the local people and getting a lot of respect."

Lemur
05-13-2010, 17:05
British Job Centers Offering Women Porn Work (and What's Wrong With That?) (http://uk.news.yahoo.com/5/20100513/tuk-jobcentres-offering-women-adult-porn-45dbed5.html)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/krinzia-unionjack.jpg

Government-run dole offices are offering unemployed women jobs on X-rated websites.

The girls are told they can earn up to £700 a week if they strip naked on webcams and have sexually explicit conversations with customers.

Young jobseekers looking for clerical work were given sex line applications when they went to sign on at Jobcentre Plus offices in Birmingham, Warwickshire and Shropshire.

Faceclick, the adult agency recruiting for the work, encourages job applicants to perform "activities that you feel comfortable with" when naked in front of the camera.

It features photos of its clients under various titles including "just legal 18", "fetish" and "role play".

One 19-year-old woman, who wanted to remain anonymous, told the Birmingham Mail she was shocked a taxpayer-funded government agency was effectively recruiting for the sex industry.

She said: "My job in a call centre is a fixed-term contract that's coming to an end and I've just taken out a car loan so I'm desperate for work.

"But I'm not so desperate that I'm prepared to perform disgusting acts on an internet sex line."

The job adverts have sparked outrage, with Birmingham MP Khalid Mahmood demanding an official inquiry.

drone
05-13-2010, 17:19
I had no idea Gregoshi worked for the Washington Post:

Women's restroom shortage is out of line, lawmakers say (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/05/12/AR2010051204602.html?hpid=opinionsbox1)

There are times when the legislative plumbing gets clogged, when frustration overflows, when the American people must pull up their collective trousers and reach for the plunger.

Now is just such a time.

"This is not a minor issue," Chairman Edolphus Towns (D-N.Y.) pronounced as he convened a hearing Wednesday of the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform.

"I think we need to approach this, as our chairman has, with the urgency of now," added Rep. Elijah Cummings (D-Md.). "It is an urgent situation. . . . I'm talking about the urgency of this moment."

And what is this urgent situation that inspired the lawmaker to echo the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.'s phrase about the "fierce urgency of now"? King fought for racial justice. Towns and his colleagues are fighting for ladies' toilets.

"I am certain that every woman in this room has frequently experienced the inconvenience, as well as the discomfort, caused by an insufficient number of women's restroom facilities," the chairman announced. His solution: H.R. 4869, the Restroom Gender Parity in Federal Buildings Act -- known as "potty parity."

In the past, similar proposals have fallen victim to stall tactics. But by scheduling Wednesday's hearing, lawmakers proved they are now ready to plumb for solutions to this vexing problem.

There are those who might say that, in the swirl of big issues, Congress probably has something better to do than fret about plumbing. Afghanistan's president is in town, there's a new Supreme Court nominee, and the Gulf of Mexico is turning into an oil drum. But the forces for W.C. equality can no longer fight the urge.

The puns go on for the whole article...

Gregoshi
05-13-2010, 19:19
I had no idea Gregoshi worked for the Washington Post:

If only. :greedy:

Hosakawa Tito
05-13-2010, 21:29
Part of God's plan. (http://www.masslive.com/news/index.ssf/2010/05/lord_jesus_christ_suffers_mino.html) Sure beats crucifixion, but the confessional is gonna be a :sweatdrop:.

Gregoshi
05-13-2010, 23:20
Christ was in a marked crosswalk at the time of the accident, Savino said.
You'd think after the first time around, Christ would avoid the crosswalk. :inquisitive:

Cute Wolf
05-14-2010, 00:23
How such Beastility exist (http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/fur-better-or-worse-postman-uwe-mitzscherlich-marries-his-cat/story-0-1225862097407) :laugh4:

Gregoshi
05-14-2010, 01:32
How such Beastility exist (http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/fur-better-or-worse-postman-uwe-mitzscherlich-marries-his-cat/story-0-1225862097407) :laugh4:
Um, Uwe, when they say to get rich quick you should marry a fat cat who's on his deathbed, this isn't what they meant.

miotas
05-14-2010, 03:53
How did the cat say "yes"?

Gregoshi
05-14-2010, 04:08
How did the cat say "yes"?
In Catalan, I'd imagine.

Lemur
05-14-2010, 22:57
If you can't brand your own children, who can you brand? (http://www.komonews.com/news/local/93721479.html)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/100513_branded_kid.jpg

PORT ANGELES, Wash. -- The jury deciding the fate of a Sequim man accused of assaulting two of his children by burning initials into their skin with a hot branding iron found him not guilty of second-degree assault Thursday afternoon.

The jury is deadlocked on Mark J. Seamands' lesser charge of fourth-degree assault. Superior Court Judge Brooke Taylor declared a mistrial on that count. [...]

The case could end with Seamands, 39, being sentenced for up to 12 to 14 months for branding "SK" - for "Seamands Kids" - on the chest of his then-13-year-old son and the arm of his then-15-year-old son.

He branded them on Nov. 25, 2008, after they asked him to do it, the father and both boys testified.

"I asked to be branded," the younger son, now 15, testified Tuesday.

He wanted to be branded, he said, "because I was going to be part of this family my whole life."

On the same day, a friend branded "SK" on the arm of the father with the same red-hot branding iron, according to the father's testimony.

The father also branded his then-18-year-old daughter.

Lemur
05-14-2010, 23:43
Sex-crazed kangaroo jumps on Ozzie joggers (http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE64D0KJ20100514)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/Animal20Sex20Kangaroo20Male.jpg

An amorous kangaroo in the mood for love has female joggers hopping mad in the Honeymoon Ranges of Australia's outback Northern Territory, prompting a flood of angry calls to authorities.

Territory police said Friday they had received reports of the kangaroo stalking residents in the ranges near the township of Tennant Creek, including a woman on her morning walk.

"There was no doubt about what he wanted, the randy old thing," the woman told local papers. "I turned around and saw this big kangaroo behind me, so I hastened my steps," she said.

The woman said the obviously aroused animal bounded off when other walkers approached and she sought to escape.

InsaneApache
05-15-2010, 10:11
That roo was obviously looking for a jump. :embarassed:

gaelic cowboy
05-15-2010, 13:18
I was perusing a well know Irish politics forum when I seen a thread title on fellatio in bats one of there professors has been censured for showing an article on this. Apparently showing a person a peer reviewed journal can get you into trouble now

From politics.ie (http://www.politics.ie/education-science/129785-bats-give-head-violation-academic-freedom-ucc.html)

Article from Huff post (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/greg-lukianoff/sex-fruit-bats-and-politi_b_576597.html)

Petition (http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/freedebate/)

Original article (http://www.plosone.org/article/info:doi/10.1371/journal.pone.0007595)

naut
05-15-2010, 15:51
I was perusing a well know Irish politics forum when I seen a thread title on fellatio in bats one of there professors has been censured for showing an article on this. Apparently showing a person a peer reviewed journal can get you into trouble now

From politics.ie (http://www.politics.ie/education-science/129785-bats-give-head-violation-academic-freedom-ucc.html)

Article from Huff post (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/greg-lukianoff/sex-fruit-bats-and-politi_b_576597.html)

Petition (http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/freedebate/)

Original article (http://www.plosone.org/article/info:doi/10.1371/journal.pone.0007595)


Female bats often lick their mate's penis during dorsoventral copulation. The female lowers her head to lick the shaft or the base of the male's penis but does not lick the glans penis which has already penetrated the vagina. Males never withdrew their penis when it was licked by the mating partner. A positive relationship exists between the length of time that the female licked the male's penis during copulation and the duration of copulation. Furthermore, mating pairs spent significantly more time in copulation if the female licked her mate's penis than if fellatio was absent.
:laugh4:

gaelic cowboy
05-15-2010, 15:53
:laugh4:

It really is funny isnt it

naut
05-15-2010, 16:00
The fact that the females are licking during penetration.... that tops it all of. All bats are contortionists.

Hosakawa Tito
05-16-2010, 15:12
Crimebo the Clown. (http://www.aolnews.com/weird-news/article/crimebo-the-crime-loving-clown-shows-off-las-top-murder-spots/19459863) Sure beats twisting balloons at kiddie birthday parties.

Viking
05-16-2010, 21:22
Farmer art:
https://img341.imageshack.us/img341/1605/pjwpuus6tgaedayd1u9qgpl.jpg

(source (http://www.nrk.no/nyheter/distrikt/nrk_sogn_og_fjordane/1.7125624))

Hosakawa Tito
05-17-2010, 00:25
Come on baby light my fire. (http://blogs.app.com/saywhat/2010/05/13/30000-year-old-sex-toy-discovered/)


The siltstone phallus, which has been dated to be at least 28,000 years old, was apparently discarded after it was broken.
Jealous husband?:laugh4:

Grog shoulda known better than to show her how to make tools.

Hosakawa Tito
05-17-2010, 23:19
Nudist alert for New Zealand. (http://www.themoneytimes.com/20100514/man-recovering-after-spider-bite-penis-id-10113147.html) I'm gonna have nightmares tonight.~:eek:

aimlesswanderer
05-18-2010, 12:49
First ever wedding conducted by a robot (http://www.smh.com.au/world/ido-robot-celebrant-leads-japanese-nuptials-20100517-v9fn.html). We await the first ever wedding to a robot.

Tellos Athenaios
05-19-2010, 19:54
Mechanic who drove with man on bonnet asks, 'why was I charged?' (http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/local-national/mechanic-who-drove-with-man-on-bonnet-asks-why-was-i-charged-14812028.html)

aimlesswanderer
05-20-2010, 10:07
If you were going to mug a guy, perhaps outside a ninja training centre (http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/men-in-black-are-the-white-knights-of-the-night-20100519-vfc5.html) is not the best place.

InsaneApache
05-20-2010, 11:27
A bomb-maker was discovered when a schoolgirl looking for her ball accidentally stepped on a trip-wire in her neighbour's garden, a court heard today.

The terrified seven-year-old set off a series of detonators when she tried to get the ball from the house of 'hate-filled' Donatien Se Sabi Bestrualta Chamchawala.

Her parents called police who uncovered a weapons cache and explosives den in his home in a quiet street.

Police said Chamchawala, 31, had a hatred of gays, Jews and - irrationally - black people, and they believed he could have targeted them for attacks.

Chamchawala, of Blackwood, Caerphilly, south Wales, was today detained indefinitely under the Mental Health Act after admitting making and possessing explosives.

Nicholas Jones, prosecuting, said the defendant, 31, was born with the name Andrew Webbe but changed it in 2003.

He said he chose Donatien after the French author and aristocrat the Marquis de Sade, who shared that name.

He added: "Bestrualta is an anagram of "ultrabeast" and Chamchawala is a character in Salman Rushdie's The Satanic Verses.

"He said in interview he identified with the character, who was a recluse."

Mr Jones said: 'His neighbours had a family barbecue and a ball went over the wall into his house.

'The girl's father asked if it was alright if the children retrieved the ball and Chamchawala nodded.


Chamchawala's home in a quiet part of Caerphilly, south Wales, where police say he targeted the various groups that he hated, including his own race


'The seven-year-old and her nine-year-old friend went into the garden when there was a massive bang, followed a couple of seconds later by another.

'Smoke was coming from the garden, while Chamchawala calmly walked back into the house. The children were terrified.'

Cardiff Crown Court was told neighbours became suspicious after Chamchawala left doors and windows open during winter months.

Mr Jones said: 'There were often smells of burning but no obvious signs of smoke.

'But Chamchawala would use air fresheners up to six time a day.'

Anti terror police who raided the house in Blackwood, South Wales, found two swords, a sawn-off shotgun, a revolver a machete and a bullet proof vest.

There were also hundreds of pages of documents where Chamchawala expressed his hatred for innocent civilians including Jews, 'Christian cesspit of America' and British National Party activists.


Chamchawala's kitchen was packed with bomb-making equipment

Officers also found literature including the Anarchists' Cookbook, Bazooka: How To Build Your Own, The CIA Book Of Dirty Tricks, The US Army Counter Sniper Guide and material on booby traps and improvised explosive devices.

Hussain Zahia, defending said: 'There's no suggestion of any intention to deploy explosives and no evidence this was directed to anybody.

'He was experimenting in an obsessional fashion.'

Jobless Chamchawala, who lived off benefits, was sectioned under the Mental Health Act after admitting making explosives and possessing a prohibited firearm.

He was sent to the Caswell Clinic psychiatric unit in Bridgend.

Recorder of Cardiff, Judge Nicholas Cooke QC said: 'It's a common misconception those suffering from mental illness may be incapable of planning and sophistication of what they may do.

'I accept you hadn't gone so far as to direct explosives and weapons at individuals at the time this was discovered.

'But the nature of your illness means if these circumstances arose again the risk would be serious.

'I don't know when it may be safe if ever to discharge you into the community but when that day comes it's imperative you're subject to robust risk management indefinitely.

Detective Chief Superintendent Ray Wise, of Gwent Police, said: 'It's clear he has a deep-seated dislike for several sections of the community.

'While we will never know the consequences of what might have happened had we not intervened.

'From his writings he displayed hatred and antagonism to large areas of the community, including homosexuals and black people.

'His motivation for manufacturing the substances isn't clear and, despite numerous interviews, it's still not clear.

'But we have real concerns in relation to his intent.'

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1279697/Bomb-maker-unmasked-girl-7-looking-lost-ball-sets-trip-wire-explosion-garden.html

:inquisitive:

Gregoshi
05-20-2010, 12:53
If you were going to mug a guy, perhaps outside a ninja training centre (http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/men-in-black-are-the-white-knights-of-the-night-20100519-vfc5.html) is not the best place.
Ninjcompoops... :wall:

InsaneApache
05-20-2010, 13:12
Ninjcompoops... :wall:

Indeed. They were numb chakkas that's for sure.

Hosakawa Tito
05-20-2010, 13:28
Ninjcompoops... :wall:


Indeed. They were numb chakkas that's for sure.

That's twice now the coffee's shot out my nose from laughing. Stop it!:laugh4::laugh4::laugh4:

Gregoshi
05-20-2010, 15:04
That's twice now the coffee's shot out my nose from laughing. Stop it!:laugh4::laugh4::laugh4:
Ninja coffee - nobody nose when it will strike.:coffeenews: :7ninja:

Vladimir
05-21-2010, 13:53
Mechanic who drove with man on bonnet asks, 'why was I charged?' (http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/local-national/mechanic-who-drove-with-man-on-bonnet-asks-why-was-i-charged-14812028.html)

“I’ve got a New Zealander on the bonnet of my car. He’s ******* lost it.

:laugh4:

Gregoshi
05-21-2010, 16:39
That mechanic had a bee in his bonnet about his safety with an angry Kiwi on his bonnet.

Lemur
05-21-2010, 21:01
The Montauk Monster Invades Canada (http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/bizarre-white-faced-monster-found-on-beach/story-e6freuy9-1225869543817)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/541331-montauk-monster.jpg

Locals in a small Canadian town have been stumped by the appearance of a bizarre creature, which was dragged from a lake.

The animal, which has a long hairy body with bald skin on its head, feet and face, has prompted wild internet speculation that it is a more evolved version of the famous 'Montauk monster'. Original story

The creature was discovered by two nurses in the town of Kitchenuhmaykoosib in Ontario, Canada, while out on a walk with their dog.

When the dog began sniffing in the lake, the two women started investigating, before the dog pulled the dead animal out.

After taking some photographs of the odd animal, the nurses left it alone. When locals decided to go back and retrieve the body, it has disappeared. [...]

The body of the creature appears to look something like an otter, while its face - complete with long fang-like teeth, bears a striking resemblance to a boar-like animal.

Even the local police chief Donny Morris is baffled, saying: 'What it is, I don't know. I'm just as curious as everyone else.'

Hosakawa Tito
05-22-2010, 00:10
The Montauk Monster Invades Canada (http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/bizarre-white-faced-monster-found-on-beach/story-e6freuy9-1225869543817)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/541331-montauk-monster.jpg

Locals in a small Canadian town have been stumped by the appearance of a bizarre creature, which was dragged from a lake.

The animal, which has a long hairy body with bald skin on its head, feet and face, has prompted wild internet speculation that it is a more evolved version of the famous 'Montauk monster'. Original story

The creature was discovered by two nurses in the town of Kitchenuhmaykoosib in Ontario, Canada, while out on a walk with their dog.

When the dog began sniffing in the lake, the two women started investigating, before the dog pulled the dead animal out.

After taking some photographs of the odd animal, the nurses left it alone. When locals decided to go back and retrieve the body, it has disappeared. [...]

The body of the creature appears to look something like an otter, while its face - complete with long fang-like teeth, bears a striking resemblance to a boar-like animal.

Even the local police chief Donny Morris is baffled, saying: 'What it is, I don't know. I'm just as curious as everyone else.'

I read that story from a different online newspaper (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1279956/Montauk-Monster-Beast-Ontario.html) and they had a second picture that I think reveals what the creature really is.
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v517/hoppy84/montaukmonster.jpg

Kinda looks like someone shaved an otter to make a montauk monster to me.

Lemur
05-22-2010, 16:09
Godwin Gets a Fashion Line (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/italy/7746436/Pink-Hitler-posters-provoke-fury.html)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/pinkhitler.jpg

The ads show the Fuhrer in a lurid pink uniform, with his swastika armband replaced with one bearing a bright red heart, above the slogan "Change Style – Don't Follow Your Leader". [...]

A city councillor with the centre-Left Democratic Party, Rosario Filoramo, has protested to the mayor of Palermo.

"The use of an image of a person responsible for the worst chapters of the last century is offensive to our country's constitutional principles and to the sensitivities of citizens," he said.

A council official, Fabrizio Ferrandelli, said: "Having Hitler's face on a poster... cannot be passed off as an innocent advertising message. Seeing these posters in front of schools is an embarrassment." But the advertising agency which came up with the idea said critics of the campaign were over-reacting.

Lemur
05-22-2010, 18:22
Penis Puppetry. No, Really. (http://blogs.citypages.com/dressingroom/2010/05/puppetry_perfor.php)


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0W_c0e5ljw

How hard was it learning the tricks?

Not too hard. We started with the simple ones like "The Woman" which is where you just tuck everything between your legs. It's one that every guy has done by himself in the mirror at least once, so that wasn't hard. Then you move up to tricks like "The Hamburger" and just keep building from there.

I think I know a thing or two about "The Woman" but how do you do "The Hamburger"?

That's actually one of the tricks we do during the show, and we bring guys onstage and teach them how to do it too. What you do is you roll your penis between your testicles, then turn the whole thing 90 degrees. Then you squeeze your testicles and it looks like a hamburger.

Banquo's Ghost
05-23-2010, 12:50
We started with the simple ones like "The Woman" which is where you just tuck everything between your legs. It's one that every guy has done by himself in the mirror at least once, so that wasn't hard.

If it was, it'd be really challenging. :bounce:

Lemur
05-24-2010, 15:51
Thief Imitates E.T. by Hiding in Pile of Teddy Bears, Fails (http://www.ktla.com/news/landing/ktla-teddy-bears-crook,0,6928674.story)

EL PASO, Texas - He might have gotten away with it, but for those darn sneakers. An El Paso man running from the law at a carnival was captured when police said they spotted David Caro's sneakers poking out beneath a pile of stuffed teddy bears.

Authorities say Caro was trying to hide after ditching his car during a traffic stop Thursday. Police said Caro had swerved into the path of a motorcycle officer to avoid being pulled over.

Once inside the carnival, police saw Caro's shoes in the stuffed teddy bear pile and arrested him.

Gregoshi
05-24-2010, 17:34
Thief Imitates E.T. by Hiding in Pile of Teddy Bears, Fails (http://www.ktla.com/news/landing/ktla-teddy-bears-crook,0,6928674.story)

You can't fool the fuzz.

Hosakawa Tito
05-24-2010, 22:32
Saudi woman opens up can of whoop :daisy: on virtue cop. (http://www.jpost.com/MiddleEast/Article.aspx?id=175779) Who's wearing the pants now, Francine?

Stay classy. (http://www.fox6now.com/news/witi-100517-bus-driver,0,5688766.story) When ya gotta go, ya gotta go.

Hosakawa Tito
05-24-2010, 22:44
16 Products they only sell at Chinese Walmarts. (http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/16-products-they-only-sell-at-chinese-walmarts/) "How can 'anti-bacterial underwear' be such a big deal when the same store sells 'mixed meat,' animal ribcages, and pig faces for customers to grab right out of a barrel?"

Lemur
05-25-2010, 13:55
Man marries pillow ("What a loon," says man who married goat) (http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/816601-man-marries-pillow)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/article-1268130775880-08A4446900000.jpg

Lee Jin-gyu fell for his 'dakimakura' - a kind of large, huggable pillow from Japan, often with a picture of a popular anime character printed on the side.

In Lee's case, his beloved pillow has an image of Fate Testarossa, from the 'magical girl' anime series Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha.

Now the 28-year-old otaku (a Japanese term that roughly translates to somewhere between 'obsessive' and 'nerd') has wed the pillow in a special ceremony, after fitting it out with a wedding dress for the service in front of a local priest. Their nuptials were eagerly chronicled by the local media.

'He is completely obsessed with this pillow and takes it everywhere,' said one friend.

'They go out to the park or the funfair where it will go on all the rides with him. Then when he goes out to eat he takes it with him and it gets its own seat and its own meal,' they added.

Gregoshi
05-25-2010, 14:16
Man marries pillow ("What a loon," says man who married goat) (http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/816601-man-marries-pillow)
Well, she's probably good in bed.

Hosakawa Tito
05-25-2010, 14:22
Well, she's probably good in bed.

Bonus: She'll never say no.

naut
05-25-2010, 15:11
Bonus: She'll never say no.
Well he's certain to get down on his honeymoon.

Gregoshi
05-25-2010, 15:54
Well he's certain to get down on his honeymoon.
:laugh4: Awesome! Some punder from Down Under!! :2thumbsup:

Louis VI the Fat
05-25-2010, 16:45
My pillow has given me thoughts...





https://img580.imageshack.us/img580/3029/741pxjapanesepipepillow.jpg

Vladimir
05-25-2010, 17:17
My pillow has given me thoughts...



https://img580.imageshack.us/img580/3029/741pxjapanesepipepillow.jpg

Now I know where Louis hides his drugs. :grin: