News of the Weird

[Adrian II]

I had no idea the knitting story was such a purl.It's clearly a Dr Who spin-off, though a bit woolly on the details.

[Geoffrey S]

Please tell me yarnt going to keep this up all day?

[InsaneApache]

Ah so you've just cottoned on then?

[Adrian II]

Ah so you've just cottoned on then?No need to upbraid him, we're only just getting down to the knitty-gritty.

[InsaneApache]

You are a card.

[Craterus]

It's funny how the punsters just loom in when a story like this comes along but they seem to be in a loop.

[Gregoshi]

It's funny how the punsters just loom in when a story like this comes along but they seem to be in a loop.
That's why I stopped participating in the yarn punning. I know when to quilt.

[InsaneApache]

Looks like that's sewn up then.

[InsaneApache]

On the other hand it would be a shame to unravel this thread........

[naut]

You're all spin-artists, and all the puns have got me in rib stitches, my sides are hurting so much I think I might dye.

[Gregoshi]

...my sides are hurting so much I think I might dye.
If that is your lot, so be it.

[Marshal Murat]

While you guys spin a great yarn, it baahter that you don't continue. Really guys, this is wooely getting old.

[Gregoshi]

Really. Who started it anyway.

[Caius]

Ran away,
brave Gregoshi rans away...

[Crazed Rabbit]

In an effort to class this thread up from all these puns, I present, for your viewing pleasure;

Topless chicks in a hot tub! (http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/virals/top_25/article770788.ece?enlargePopup=true&offset=2)

In other news, I've often wondered how, if at all, English food could be improved. Now I know. (http://www.metro.co.uk/news/article.html?in_article_id=147109&in_page_id=34)

CR

[Lemur]

Meanwhile, our loyal troops in Iraq are being undone by the porno-virus (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/05/09/AR2008050902548_pf.html).


I warned guys that they were risking giving their PCs "RAM rot," to coin a phrase, from doing so because who knows what else was on those CDs. . . . [D]ue to the average Iraqi Armysoldier's love of pornography, my memory stick would be filthy with viruses every time I had to go and get documents from my counterpart or his section NCOs.

[Evil_Maniac From Mars]

Texas needs a new village idiot. (http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/latestnews/stories/051408dnmetitch.f81a31c3.html)

...or will this one recover?

[Gregoshi]

Texas needs a new village idiot. (http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/latestnews/stories/051408dnmetitch.f81a31c3.html)

...or will this one recover?
His plan backfired when it turned out his trigger finger was itchy too.

[Adrian II]

His plan backfired when it turned out his trigger finger was itchy too.God, do we really have to put you down to make you stop punning. I mean quill you before you stop gunning. I mean..

AAARGH!!!!!!!! :smg:

*shoots in own foot*

[Banquo's Ghost]

God, do we really have to put you down to make you stop punning. I mean quill you before you stop gunning. I mean..

Can't take a little punnery? Like the Texan, you're clearly spineless. :wink:

[InsaneApache]

It's a barrel of laughs round here.

[Conqueror]

Vatican scientist says belief in God and aliens is OK (http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080514/sc_nm/pope_extraterrestrials_dc)

"Why can't we speak of a 'brother extraterrestrial'? It would still be part of creation," he said.

[Craterus]

Texas needs a new village idiot. (http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/latestnews/stories/051408dnmetitch.f81a31c3.html)

...or will this one recover?

An idiot of the highest caliber.

[spmetla]

It doesn't mention in the article whether he got the itch, was this method effective? :P

[Adrian II]

Can't take a little punnery? Like the Texan, you're clearly spineless. :wink:There's not a stitch of truth to that. You're just firing blanks to cover Gregoshi's back.

[Crazed Rabbit]

Miami: now more dangerous than Bosnia to fly into! (http://www.aero-news.net/index.cfm?ContentBlockID=683b4373-3357-44e9-be65-96bd3146ccba&)


To avoid the chances of being hit by gunfire, pilots are advised to make steep approaches into the airport, and to make haste when climbing out on takeoff.

:dizzy2:

CR

[Viking]

Texas needs a new village idiot. (http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/latestnews/stories/051408dnmetitch.f81a31c3.html)

...or will this one recover?

When scratching backfires.

[Gregoshi]

Miami: now more dangerous than Bosnia to fly into! (http://www.aero-news.net/index.cfm?ContentBlockID=683b4373-3357-44e9-be65-96bd3146ccba&)

Does this mean we can expect Hillary to do an inspection tour of Miami?

[Evil_Maniac From Mars]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7408199.stm

[Gregoshi]

Fat cops, fat cops
Whatcha gonna do?
Whatcha gonna do when they run from you?

[drone]

I didn't know they had Krispy Kreme stores in Mozambique.

[Evil_Maniac From Mars]

This (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7409562.stm) would be a completely normal and fine article, except for one single paragraph in the infobox.


1993: Israeli Supreme Court overturns conviction, ruling that he is not Ivan the Terrible

:laugh4:

[Fragony]

And now some news that matters, swedish mom's.

28% likes to watch pron, 43% likes toys, 39% doesn't mind anal sex, and 23% wants to try lesbian sex. 60% feels they don't have enough sex.

prrrrrr

[Adrian II]

And now some news that matters, swedish mom's.

28% likes to watch pron, 43% likes toys, 39% doesn't mind anal sex, and 23% wants to try lesbian sex. 60% feels they don't have enough sex.

prrrrrrThat's the story about the Swedish MILF's, right? Zeau zeau la la, dacht ik. But it's the thought that counts..

[Fragony]

Aren't you way too respectable to visit that digital wasteland?? Don't let your co-workers hear it you will be on the receiving end of a swat-team before you know it :laugh4:

[Adrian II]

Aren't you way too respectable to visit that digital wasteland?? Don't let your co-workers hear it you will be on the receiving end of a swat-team before you know it :laugh4:I also visit VK (not Volkskrant but the vaginally oriented site) and amazing****cool. Most of their stuff is boring and flat, but they have been known to carry some gems. The tukker bike burnout on VK is a fun vid. Only I don't know how to copy those vids.
And I can't very well link to that site now, can I, boys and girls?
Nooooo! https://img129.imageshack.us/img129/5034/simpson2mi9.gif (https://imageshack.us)

[English assassin]

Are giant carnivorous mice weird? I say yes :yes:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2008/may/20/wildlife.endangeredspecies


But as a terrible consequence of the first whalers making landfall there 150 years ago, Gough has become the stage for one of nature's great horror shows. Mice stowed away on the whaling boats jumped ship and have since multiplied to 700,000 or more on an island of about 25 square miles.

What is horrifying ornithologists is that the British house mouse has somehow evolved, growing to up to three times the size of ordinary domestic house mice, and instead of surviving on a diet of insects and seeds, has adapted itself to become a carnivore, eating albatross, petrel and shearwater chicks alive in their nests.

But is this REALLY one of nature's great horror shows? I mean, a fully grown salt water crocodile that somehow got onto a school bus full of 6 year old children, sure, THAT would be one of nature's great horror shows. But mice eating birds?

[Papewaio]

Well I wouldn't want to rug up in a rucksack with those mice hopping in and nibbling on the albatross in a nest.

[Lemur]

Giant, carnivorous mice. Some days I just love this thread. *sniff* God bless us all, and Tiny Tim too.

Meanwhile, a Scottish pedophile has a unique defense: Google made me do it. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/south_of_scotland/7404375.stm)


"He feels that he would not have committed these offences if this information was not so freely available," she said.

"He feels if companies like Google did not provide access to such sites, he would not have committed the offences."

[Craterus]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/7409880.stm

[Gregoshi]

Well I wouldn't want to rug up in a rucksack with those mice hopping in and nibbling on the albatross in a nest.
:laugh4: I know what you mean, nudge nudge, wink wink...and I'd have to agree.

[Crazed Rabbit]

Washington State: So far on the forefront of espresso stand development "It's just terrifying" (http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/living/2008/05/20/jung.bikini.coffee.king)

A funny video in two regards. But mostly because of the severe overreaction that woman had.

CR

[Lemur]

Great video, CR. "To see a barrista in pasties ... it's just terrifying." Heh. And of course, what empty-headed cause would be complete without someone saying "Think of the children ..."

[Makanyane]

:embarassed: ... took a while to make sense of the above post - have led too sheltered a life - I was thinking pasties were these (http://www.pastyman.com/links.php)

glad it wasn't actually a cannibalism story!

[Lemur]

Flying RC penis (http://gizmodo.com/391794/flying-rc-penis-disrupts-garry-kasparov-speech) interrupts Garry Kasparov's speech.

[seireikhaan]

Washington State: So far on the forefront of espresso stand development "It's just terrifying" (http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/living/2008/05/20/jung.bikini.coffee.king)

A funny video in two regards. But mostly because of the severe overreaction that woman had.

CR
Wow, that is a gem, CR. :laugh4:

[Crazed Rabbit]

:embarassed: ... took a while to make sense of the above post - have led too sheltered a life - I was thinking pasties were these (http://www.pastyman.com/links.php)

glad it wasn't actually a cannibalism story!

We like to keep the fact that our state might be considered to be at the forefront of serial killers (http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/109337_serial20.shtml) a bit more discrete. :sweatdrop:

Glad you guys enjoyed the video!

CR

[Banquo's Ghost]

This fellow must be exhausted (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/2000899/Man-admits-'having-sex'-with-1,000-cars.html).

[InsaneApache]

This fellow must be exhausted (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/2000899/Man-admits-'having-sex'-with-1,000-cars.html).

Indeed. After all that servicing he must have a point to plug. The timing should filter out any lubricant.

[CountArach]

This fellow must be exhausted (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/2000899/Man-admits-'having-sex'-with-1,000-cars.html).
Does anyone else see a problem with a hot exhaust pipe?

[Gregoshi]

Is this the definition of "autoerotic"?

[Crazed Rabbit]

Mr Smith, from Washington state in the US,

Why am I not surprised? At least he didn't die.

CR

[Gregoshi]

Why am I not surprised? At least he didn't die.

But he is at risk from cardiac arrest.

[InsaneApache]

Or mebbe just autoerotic.

[Samurai Waki]

I think he blew a head gasket, after ramming his piston into the exhaust pipe, he might be a bit tired.

[Gregoshi]

Or mebbe just autoerotic.
Where have I heard that before? :idea2: Oh yeah, I posted the autoerotic pun three posts above yours. You feeling okay IA? You seem to be showing signs of Lemur's Disease*.

*
Named after Lemur's rash of posting items already posted several weeks back. :laugh4: That is cruel, I know, but I just couldn't resist. I'll go to my room now. :shame:

[InsaneApache]

I'd had a bit of Claret (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrwFkByhlJo&feature=related) old chap and it went right to my head. :laugh4:

[Fragony]

Been a good boy? Hope so....

http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2008/5/20/21950/7576/933/518756

[FactionHeir]

Contraception didn't work? eBay helps! (http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/europe/05/24/ebay.baby.ap/index.html)

[Lemur]

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/BabyBurrito.jpg

[InsaneApache]

I'll see you one burrito and raise you one dead chicken.


"stop grieving, it's only a chicken"

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/10/25/dead_chicken_tribute/

[King Jan III Sobieski]

This fellow must be exhausted (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/2000899/Man-admits-'having-sex'-with-1,000-cars.html).

Do you have a hand-wipe? I just put my hand in a gob of...:furious3:

[drone]

Australian Fishermen Catch 20-Foot, 500-Pound Giant Squid (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,358147,00.html)

MELBOURNE, Australia — Australian fishermen have hauled up a 20-foot-long giant squid off the country's southeastern coast.

Skipper Rangi Pene said Monday that the 500-pound squid was already dead when it was caught in a trawler's nets Sunday night in waters more than 1,640 feet deep.
Already dead? Natural causes or a training exercise? :inquisitive:

[Ice]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/7409880.stm

:laugh4:

12 grams and a pipe? Jesus, he must have had a lot of food.

[Evil_Maniac From Mars]

Best. Headline. Ever. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/motorsport/formula_one/7424786.stm)

[Marshal Murat]

Kindergarten Impeachment (http://www.breitbart.tv/html/103693.html)

The wonders of the democratic process?

[Gregoshi]

Kindergarten Impeachment (http://www.breitbart.tv/html/103693.html)

The wonders of the democratic process?
:sultan: I see...a teacher getting voted out of school.

[Marshal Murat]

I don't know if it would really count since there wasn't quorum.

[LittleGrizzly]

I read into the article and ended up watching some interview with the mother, apperantly the teacher not only influenced the vote through the power of her position, but requestioned voters who voted for the kid to stay.

Voter intimidation i'd say! if all thats too be believed (not really sure myself) then those 2 kids who voted him to stay are real stars in my eyes.

[Pannonian]

It's 8 years too late, but the headline is irresistable.

Peter Fuchs off to TheBrain.com (http://hardware.silicon.com/storage/0,39024649,11017269,00.htm)

[Lemur]

Houston to spend $150,000 to defend anti-beard law (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080529/ap_on_fe_st/odd_police_beard_ban).


The Houston City Council on Wednesday unanimously authorized spending up to $150,000 to defend the city in a lawsuit challenging the no-facial hair policy.

"The lawsuit is pending and we have to defend ourselves," Councilman Ron Green said. "But we're basically saying we want new police officers, but we don't want police officers with beards."

[Banquo's Ghost]

"The lawsuit is pending and we have to defend ourselves," Councilman Ron Green said. "But we're basically saying we want new police officers, but we don't want police officers with beards."

I'm sorry, but that makes me bristle with indignation.

[Geoffrey S]

Sounds like they're looking for a scapegoattee - though I think they should shave themselves the effort.

[Ronin]

Mexican Navy Hunts Sharks (http://www.reuters.com/article/worldNews/idUSN2634668020080526?feedType=RSS&feedName=worldNews&rpc=22&sp=true)

they´re gonna need a bigger boat!

[drone]

Mexican Navy Hunts Sharks (http://www.reuters.com/article/worldNews/idUSN2634668020080526?feedType=RSS&feedName=worldNews&rpc=22&sp=true)

they´re gonna need a bigger boat!
Zihuatanejo? Isn't that where Andy and Red escaped to? Shawshank 2, Terror in the Water!

[InsaneApache]

By the end of the night, according to a friend of the privately-educated teenager, the house “looked like a war zone” with £6,000 worth of jewellery and clothes looted by some of the guests, and televisions thrown in the swimming pool.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article4030058.ece

Blimey and I used to think my lads were bad when they were teenagers. :sweatdrop:

[FactionHeir]

Mexican Navy Hunts Sharks (http://www.reuters.com/article/worldNews/idUSN2634668020080526?feedType=RSS&feedName=worldNews&rpc=22&sp=true)

they´re gonna need a bigger boat!

I don't see a picture?

[TB666]

I don't see a picture?
It's a Jaw's joke, don't need a picture.

[Geoffrey S]

Woman lives in closet.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/7426950.stm

[InsaneApache]

Woman lives in closet.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/7426950.stm

That's just gay.

[Gregoshi]

That's just gay.
:laugh4:

I think they should hang 'er...in a closet.

[Viking]

Woman lives in closet.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/7426950.stm

Why didn't you include the fun part:


A woman has been arrested in Japan for sneaking into a man's house and living in his closet without him knowing.
....
The house belonged to a 57-year-old man, who had become suspicious after food disappeared from his fridge.

:laugh4:

[TB666]

Woman lives in closet.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/7426950.stm
I think the question on everyone's mind is, is she hot ??

[Lemur]

I think the question on everyone's mind is, is she hot ??
Umm, maybe, I guess, although it doesn't sound likely: "Police found 58-year-old Tatsuko Horikawa living in a small storage space [...]"

[TB666]

Umm, maybe, I guess, although it doesn't sound likely: "Police found 58-year-old Tatsuko Horikawa living in a small storage space [...]"
Well could be a MILF you never know.

[Craterus]

~:rolleyes:

[Viking]

I think the question on everyone's mind is, is she hot ??

Now you have me confused like only a Swede can. ~:confused:

Vad fan pratar ni om? :laugh4:

[Banquo's Ghost]

Finally, the murderer Osama bin Laden has been gunned down (http://www.independent.ie/breaking-news/world-news/asia/killer-rogue-elephant-osama-shot-dead-in-india-1393449.html). It apparently took 20 bullets to finish him off.

[InsaneApache]

and said it took 20 bullets to silence him.

"Wild? I'm livid", he said rhetorically.

[FactionHeir]

Brits awarded compensation for having too many Germans around them during holiday (http://uk.news.yahoo.com/afp/20080531/tod-britain-germany-tourism-offbeat-6058bda.html)

[InsaneApache]

Did he mention the war? :laugh4:

[Gregoshi]

Brits awarded compensation for having too many Germans around them during holiday (http://uk.news.yahoo.com/afp/20080531/tod-britain-germany-tourism-offbeat-6058bda.html)
The Dunkirk survivors ought to have a field day with this one. :greedy:

[Fragony]

WE ARE NOT ALONE

http://www.rockymountainparanormal.com/ufo/alienwindowfinal.mp4

[Fragony]

The mayor of Rabbit Hash in Kentucky has died at the age of 13. Sounds a bit young, but it's really quite old. For a dog.

[ShadesPanther]

The mayor of Rabbit Hash in Kentucky has died at the age of 13. Sounds a bit young, but it's really quite old. For a dog.

With a town name like that, I don't think the fact they have a dog as their mayor needs to be explained.

[Marshal Murat]

Sonic Strikes Back (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7427026.stm)


It was unclear whether the hedgehog was still alive when it was thrown, though police said it was dead when collected as evidence.

[CountArach]

Super Intelligent Monkeys control Robots! (http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/29/science/29brain.html?_r=2&hp&oref=slogin&oref=slogin)

Oh God, first the Octosquids and now them! Its an animal world conspiracy!

EDIT: OMG! It has video!

[TB666]

Super Intelligent Monkeys control Robots! (http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/29/science/29brain.html?_r=2&hp&oref=slogin&oref=slogin)

Oh God, first the Octosquids and now them! Its an animal world conspiracy!

EDIT: OMG! It has video!
What the...
How did it do that ??

[ShadesPanther]

Sonic Strikes Back (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7427026.stm)


If you're gonna commit a crime don't wear bright orange trousers.

[Gregoshi]

Super Intelligent Monkeys control Robots! (http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/29/science/29brain.html?_r=2&hp&oref=slogin&oref=slogin)

Oh God, first the Octosquids and now them! Its an animal world conspiracy!

EDIT: OMG! It has video!

Taylor: A planet where apes evolved from men? There's got to be an answer.

Kosh: And so it begins...

[discovery1]

Super Intelligent Monkeys control Robots! (http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/29/science/29brain.html?_r=2&hp&oref=slogin&oref=slogin)

Oh God, first the Octosquids and now them! Its an animal world conspiracy!

EDIT: OMG! It has video!

What if: Doc Oc was a monkey?

[Lemur]

Testicle festival held for a good cause (http://www.upi.com/NewsTrack/Quirks/2008/06/01/testicle_festival_held_for_a_good_cause/5406/)

WOODRUFF, Utah, June 1 (UPI) -- The eighth annual Testicle Festival in Woodruff, Utah, has helped raised nearly $30,000 for charity by dispensing plenty of bull testicles, volunteers say.

Festival volunteer Lori Cornia said in addition to raising donations, the Black Gold Cattle Co. event served plenty of deep-fried bull testicles, also known as "Rocky Mountain Oysters," The Salt Lake Tribune reported Sunday.

"Some people have trouble with them," Cornia said of the festival's culinary delight.

"Just think of it as veal," she added for those a bit leary of the edible undertaking.

[Crazed Rabbit]

I don't know where Hornsby is, but I never want to go anywhere close:
http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,23791992-5001021,00.html?from=public_rss


Surgeons took about 90 minutes to remove the washers using fire brigade equipment.

You can guess where from, I expect.

CR

[Marshal Murat]

As Beatty said at Jutland
"There must be something wrong with our cranes today!" (http://www.casperstartribune.net/articles/2008/05/31/special_breaking_news/doc4841b59577eaa875988288.txt)

[Lemur]

Looks like Gregoshi has been moonlighting for the Daily Telegraph:


The man may well have thought long and hard about placing himself in the difficult situation.

[Gregoshi]

We Total War players are so whiny about trivial things like poor AI. The Age of Conan players have some legitimate, major issues to deal with - like their character's shrunken breasts (http://arstechnica.com/journals/thumbs.ars/2008/06/02/age-of-conan-players-complain-of-shrunken-breasts-slightly-nsfw).~:rolleyes:


Update: Funcom has responded to the complaints, saying that the company "can confirm that some of the female models in the game have had the size of their breasts changed. This is due to an unintended change." The team is "working on a fix for this and your breasts should be back to normal soon."

Whew! What a relief that must be.

[Crazed Rabbit]

Britain bravely wages the war on intelligence:
By not allowing people with cartoon images of robots with guns on planes. (http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/article-23489284-details/Man+threatened+with+arrest+at+Heathrow+for+wearing+Transformers+T-shirt/article.do)

Apparently, their minds occupy a parallel universe where images can become real.

CR

[CountArach]

Multiple Orgasms on the Floor of Parliament (http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/multiple-orgasms-in-parliament/2008/06/03/1212258746557.html)
EDIT: Oh my god, how could I miss this... his name is Mr Wood...

[TB666]

Multiple Orgasms on the Floor of Parliament (http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/multiple-orgasms-in-parliament/2008/06/03/1212258746557.html)
I guess he isn't your ordinary stiff politician.

[English assassin]

Britain bravely wages the war on intelligence:
By not allowing people with cartoon images of robots with guns on planes. (http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/article-23489284-details/Man+threatened+with+arrest+at+Heathrow+for+wearing+Transformers+T-shirt/article.do)

Apparently, their minds occupy a parallel universe where images can become real.

CR


A 30 year old man wearing a transformers T shirt? Its nothing to do with terror. We are introducing a no-fly policy for Britain's dweebs, to stop them making Britain look bad abroad.

Making Britain look bad abroad is what our lager louts are for.

[InsaneApache]

Britain bravely wages the war on intelligence:
By not allowing people with cartoon images of robots with guns on planes. (http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/article-23489284-details/Man+threatened+with+arrest+at+Heathrow+for+wearing+Transformers+T-shirt/article.do)

Apparently, their minds occupy a parallel universe where images can become real.

CR

He's not even a genned up dweeb.


He keeps saying Megatron when it is Optimus Prime. Does he even know what shirt he is wearing? :laugh4:

[naut]

He did not correct his mistake, instead moving on rather hurriedly to the climax of his speech.
:laugh4:

[Ronin]

I almost feel sorry for this guy...almost (http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3424737)


burglar breaks into house.....burglar gets attacked by the american football running back owner of the house with a bed-post...

a timeless story :laugh4:


Brown County Sheriff Dennis Kocken said Tuesday that the break-in happened late last Friday and the injured intruder remained hospitalized but is expected to recover.

no kidding? :laugh4:

[Marshal Murat]

Argh, there be multiple posts here!

[Sasaki Kojiro]

Packers' Herron hits intruder with bedpost during break in at home (http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3424737)

:laugh4:

[Crazed Rabbit]

A 30 year old man wearing a transformers T shirt? Its nothing to do with terror. We are introducing a no-fly policy for Britain's dweebs, to stop them making Britain look bad abroad.

Making Britain look bad abroad is what our lager louts are for.

Ah, the lager louts have got the better union then, eh?

@ The ... numerous ... stories about the football player - Go Packers!

Finally, technology is going to turn us all into eloi (http://www.kutv.com/content/news/local/story.aspx?content_id=89d59491-3910-45c2-9643-3a2fd9347606).

CR

[Crazed Rabbit]

Double post, and mere minutes apart, but given the magnitude of what I am to post, I think it will be forgiven (especially with all the octople postings today).

*ahem*

My friends, with these turbulent times, what with middle east happenings, war, famine, and the like, it is right that we ask ourselves; what should happen in the event that we suddenly leave this earth?

What would we do if we were taken and those we loved left behind? How would we ensure that they did not suffer in our absence?

I speak, of course, about The Rapture.

Now, praise be, there is something you can do to help those who have been left behind as you descend into Heaven. Something that will be of real benefit.

You can send them an email. (http://www.youvebeenleftbehind.com/index.html)

Let not your joyous arrival at eternal happiness stop you from imparting such practical knowledge as lengthy letters (http://youvebeenleftbehind.blogspot.com/) on the Biblical scriptures foretelling the Rapture. Truly, those who receive the letters will weep with gratitude.

And all for only $40 a year.

CR

[CountArach]

I almost feel sorry for this guy...almost (http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3424737)
We heard you the first time Ronin :laugh4:

[Viking]

I almost feel sorry for this guy...almost (http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3424737)


burglar breaks into house.....burglar gets attacked by the american football running back owner of the house with a bed-post...

a timeless story :laugh4:



no kidding? :laugh4:


Six posts? I am in need of a clap smiley. :gah:

[FactionHeir]

:gah:
https://img128.imageshack.us/img128/1128/gahaj7.jpg

[InsaneApache]

The district line eh? I had a great New Years at The Feathers on Ealing Broadway a couple of decades ago. :2thumbsup:

[edyzmedieval]

What bugs me is that the Police requested this, not the people who have discovered the bomb! :laugh4:

[Fragony]

Here we come. Italy may have good defence but we have a leopard II A6, courtesy of the army.

https://jimcee.homestead.com/fragTank.jpg

And yes BG this is hosted.

-Mod edit-
Sorry, it was not; t'was sucking bandwidth from geenstijl.nl. Hosted & resized for your convenience.~Kukri

[CountArach]

What subtle colouring.

[TB666]

Unique camouflage I must say.

[Fragony]

Effective though, those swiss dragonteeth didn't stop our orange BEAST OF WAR, going to blow mighty holes in the Italian defence.

[Samurai Waki]

As we all know Orange is the Color of a specific type of fruit, roughly named after the Color (or something like that), but what the enemy doesn't know is that Orange is the perfect color for a sneak attack, in that nobody expects you to be charging headlong at the enemy wearing a color so visibly obvious... who needs Digital Camo? Orange will spell out the Enemy's doom.

[PBI]

Gotta love the Netherlands fans, they really do like their orange. Crowd shots during Netherlands matches are always dazzling to say the least.

I'm sure it must have some effect on the opposition, if every time they look up into the stands they are blinded by the wall of orange.

[Lemur]

Family Refuses to Part With Goats (FORTVILLE, Ind., June 5 (UPI) -- Members of a Fortville, Ind., family -- fined by police for keeping pet goats in the city -- say they plan to plead their case to the City Council.)

FORTVILLE, Ind., June 5 -- Members of a Fortville, Ind., family -- fined by police for keeping pet goats in the city -- say they plan to plead their case to the City Council.

Joshua and Sarah Brown said they have two female goats, one that provides milk for the couple and their seven children and one that serves as a companion to the milking goat, the Indianapolis Star reported Thursday.

"They're friendly. They're pets," Sarah Brown said. "They're the size of large dogs. We take our goats for walks just like dogs. All the kids in the neighborhood come out and pet them. Everybody thinks it's kind of cool there are goats in the neighborhood."

However, police said a complaint was lodged by someone who heard the goats bleating and an officer was sent to investigate. The complainant was not identified, but police said it was not a close neighbor of the family.

The Browns said they paid the first $25 ticket they were given by police, but refused to get rid of the animals after discovering that the law they were cited for violating bans "cows, bulls, pigs, horses, chickens, bees or rabbits," but does not mention goats.

[Craterus]

Ah Lemur. Still suffering from Lemur's Disease (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showpost.php?p=1928840&postcount=2056), eh?
May I refer you to this post. (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showpost.php?p=1937850&postcount=2117)

~;)

[Gregoshi]

Ah Lemur. Still suffering from Lemur's Disease (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showpost.php?p=1928840&postcount=2056), eh?



https://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h12/gbresslr/Org%20Pictures/LemursAvatar.gif
Sadly, LD is no laughing matter. It is a terrible thing to watch friends and loved ones slip into an endless pattern of obliviously repeating the posts of others. But now you can help. Join me this weekend, June 7th & 8th, for the first annual LD Pun-for-the-Cure. Every pun you make this weekend in the News of the Weird thread won't raise a dime, but will serve to remind us of those who think reminders are a refreshing, new idea. So whether your pun is the lamest of the lame or so clever that no one gets it, pun away this weekend with reckless abandon...and just remember to smile when they are reposted again a few days later. Thank you for your time, and God bless.

[Banquo's Ghost]

https://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h12/gbresslr/Org%20Pictures/LemursAvatar.gif
Sadly, LD is no laughing matter. It is a terrible thing to watch friends and loved ones slip into an endless pattern of obliviously repeating the posts of others. But now you can help. Join me this weekend, June 7th & 8th, for the first annual LD Pun-for-the-Cure. Every pun you make this weekend in the News of the Weird thread won't raise a dime, but will serve to remind us of those who think reminders are a refreshing, new idea. So whether your pun is the lamest of the lame or so clever that no one gets it, pun away this weekend with reckless abandon...and just remember to smile when they are reposted again a few days later. Thank you for your time, and God bless.

I am very supportive of this initiative and offer that positive energy to the Lemur. One could say that I am very pro-simian.

:wink: Just practising for tomorrow.

[Crazed Rabbit]

https://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h12/gbresslr/Org%20Pictures/LemursAvatar.gif
Sadly, LD is no laughing matter. It is a terrible thing to watch friends and loved ones slip into an endless pattern of obliviously repeating the posts of others. But now you can help. Join me this weekend, June 7th & 8th, for the first annual LD Pun-for-the-Cure. Every pun you make this weekend in the News of the Weird thread won't raise a dime, but will serve to remind us of those who think reminders are a refreshing, new idea. So whether your pun is the lamest of the lame or so clever that no one gets it, pun away this weekend with reckless abandon...and just remember to smile when they are reposted again a few days later. Thank you for your time, and God bless.

You're just monkeying about instead of trying to find a real solution.

CR
(I work 4-10s)

[Lemur]

I never thought a cure was possible, or that the community would come together to fight Lemur's Disease. I am moved to tears of gratitude. What's more, I hear Gregoshi has gotten a whole pile of z-list celebrities to host the telethon. The winner of Big Brother 9? So cool!

I just want to thank you all for your selflessness. You like me. You really, really like me.


https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/lemurov1.jpg

[Louis VI the Fat]

https://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h12/gbresslr/Org%20Pictures/LemursAvatar.gif
Sadly, LD is no laughing matter. It is a terrible thing to watch friends and loved ones slip into an endless pattern of obliviously repeating the posts of others. But now you can help. Join me this weekend, June 7th & 8th, for the first annual LD Pun-for-the-Cure. Every pun you make this weekend in the News of the Weird thread won't raise a dime, but will serve to remind us of those who think reminders are a refreshing, new idea. So whether your pun is the lamest of the lame or so clever that no one gets it, pun away this weekend with reckless abandon...and just remember to smile when they are reposted again a few days later. Thank you for your time, and God bless.
He double-posted a story yet again!?

Puns are not going to save him. All we can do is headbutt Le mur in frustration. :wall:


never mind...

[Banquo's Ghost]

Puns are not going to save him. All we can do is headbutt Le mur in frustration. :wall:

:laugh4: :bow:

[Lemur]

Maybe this just sounds weird because of a cultural gap, but here it is anyway: Business school names monkey god as chairman. (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080607/ap_on_fe_st/odd_monkey_god_chairman)

Hanuman, the popular god known for his strength and valor, has been named official chairman of the recently opened Sardar Bhagat Singh College of Technology and Management in northern India, a school official said Saturday.

The position comes with an incense-filled office, a desk and a laptop computer. Four chairs will be placed facing the empty seat reserved for the chairman and all visitors must enter the office barefoot, said Vivek Kangdi, the school's vice chairman.

"It is our belief that any job that has the blessings of Lord Hanuman is bound to be a success," said Kangdi.

All Hindus know that Hanuman can lift mountains and leap oceans, but ancient texts make no mention of his business acumen.

"When we were looking for a chairman for our institution, we scanned many big names in the field of technology and management. Ultimately, we settled for Lord Hanuman, as none was bigger than him," Kangdi said.

[Gregoshi]

Next headline: Hanuman, Business School's Top Banana, Eats Self.

[Craterus]

He double-posted a story yet again!?

Puns are not going to save him. All we can do is headbutt Le mur in frustration. :wall:

You barbaryan!

Let's just make it our mission (obscure, but nvm :sad:) to make as many puns as possible. :balloon3:

[English assassin]

Apparently some form of sporting tournament is taking place this summer in Europe. Coverage seems to be fairly muted on the Island, however, I think I have tracked it down: http://www.bsxrace.ch/de/home.html

I don't read German but as they say, pictures are worth a thousand words. Even long, German words.

I especially salute Bernd Weissenberger and Renato Casati for their victory in the absolutely superb sounding Kamikaze Klasse.

[Fragony]

Man forgets parachute. splut. Darwin award = your's.

[Lemur]

This one's a little bit grim for the NotW, but I don't know that it deserves a thread of its own, so:

Judge tells woman in rape case that while testifying, she may not use the words "rape," "rapist," "sexual assault" or "assailant." She's also not to refer to herself as the "victim" in any way. No, seriously (http://www.kansascity.com/105/story/654147.html).


Those who defend the accused say the determination of whether what happened was rape or consensual sex is up to juries, not witnesses.

“They shouldn’t be able to use the word ‘rape’ as if it is a fact that has been established,” said Jack King, director of public affairs and communications for the National Association of Criminal Defense Lawyers. “These are loaded words.”

Well, geez, so are "robbery," "murder," "larceny," and "pedophilia." Does that mean we shouldn't use those words in courtrooms?

Even by American legal standards, an astonishing load of horse-hockey.

[Lemur]

Finally, after decades of uncertainty, we have a ruling: Giraffe meat is kosher (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/middleeast/israel/2084281/Giraffe-is-kosher,-Israeli-vets-have-ruled.html).


According to a report in the Yedioth Ahronoth newspaper, vets were asked to treat an adult, female giraffe at Israel's largest zoo, the Safari Park in Ramat Gan.

The team, led by Professor Zohar Amar, took a routine sample of milk and found that it clotted in the way required by Jewish law for kosher certification.

They submitted more milk for verification by the rabbinical authorities and the paper reported that a ruling was made that giraffe meat and milk are acceptable for observant Jews. [...]

The giraffe belongs to the family of grazing animals that have cloven hooves and chew the cud, thereby making them consistent with kosher rules, but the milk test was the final confirmation.

"Indeed, the giraffe is kosher for eating," Rabbi Shlomo Mahfoud, who accompanied the researchers in their work, said.

"The giraffe has all the signs of a ritually pure animal, and the milk that forms curds strengthened that."

[TB666]

seriously (http://www.kansascity.com/105/story/654147.html).

:inquisitive::blank2::sick::shocked2::no:
No amount of puns can save that story from being sickening.

[InsaneApache]

Finally, after decades of uncertainty, we have a ruling: Giraffe meat is kosher (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/middleeast/israel/2084281/Giraffe-is-kosher,-Israeli-vets-have-ruled.html).


According to a report in the Yedioth Ahronoth newspaper, vets were asked to treat an adult, female giraffe at Israel's largest zoo, the Safari Park in Ramat Gan.

The team, led by Professor Zohar Amar, took a routine sample of milk and found that it clotted in the way required by Jewish law for kosher certification.

They submitted more milk for verification by the rabbinical authorities and the paper reported that a ruling was made that giraffe meat and milk are acceptable for observant Jews. [...]

The giraffe belongs to the family of grazing animals that have cloven hooves and chew the cud, thereby making them consistent with kosher rules, but the milk test was the final confirmation.

"Indeed, the giraffe is kosher for eating," Rabbi Shlomo Mahfoud, who accompanied the researchers in their work, said.

"The giraffe has all the signs of a ritually pure animal, and the milk that forms curds strengthened that."

That Rabbi's got some neck saying that. Or mebbe he said it 'cos he cud.

[English assassin]

Finally, after decades of uncertainty, we have a ruling: Giraffe meat is kosher (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/middleeast/israel/2084281/Giraffe-is-kosher,-Israeli-vets-have-ruled.html).



Who says religion isn't relevant to modern life.

Meanwhile, latest news from the world of music/board game crossovers is the launch of wu-tang-chess. (Researching this story I found a review of a Wu Tang album on chessbase, which is like finding Gardeners World pumped about the latest Municipal Waste album)

Anyway, here's the story:http://music.guardian.co.uk/news/story/0,,2283669,00.html

They do know the Kalashnikov Variation doesn't involve a real gun, right?

[InsaneApache]

Oi! You aint paid your bill! (http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article4107588.ece)

How times change, this bit made me smile. 3 shillings =15p. I used to get two bob a week pocket money. :beam:

[drone]

When God turns the lights out and it's freezing cold outside, I guess there's only one thing to do...

Antarctica base gets 16,500 condoms before darkness (http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSN0943167020080609)

WELLINGTON - One of the last shipments to a U.S. research base in Antarctica before the onset of winter darkness was a year's supply of condoms, a New Zealand newspaper reported Monday.

Bill Henriksen, the manager of the McMurdo base station, said nearly 16,500 condoms were delivered last month and would be made available, free of charge, to staff throughout the year to avoid the potential embarrassment of having to buy them.

[Fragony]

Dunno why I just do.

http://photography.nationalgeographic.com/staticfiles/NGS/Shared/StaticFiles/Photography/Images/POD/a/afghan-girl-before-after-127438-sw.jpg

That is the same girl. These eyes, she's gone.

[CountArach]

When God turns the lights out and it's freezing cold outside, I guess there's only one thing to do...

Antarctica base gets 16,500 condoms before darkness (http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSN0943167020080609)
What a screw-up.

[FactionHeir]

Wonder what kind of research those are for.

[Lemur]

It's perfectly logical that the staff in Antarctica would have the latest and greatest protective gear.

File this one under judge not, lest ye be judged (http://blog.wired.com/27bstroke6/2008/06/chief-judge-in.html):


Chief Judge in Obscenity Case Caught Posting Porn

A top federal judge who is presiding over an obscenity trial in Los Angeles has been caught posting explicit photos and videos to his web site. The judge told the Los Angeles Times that he didn't think the site was publicly accessible.

Alex Kozinski (at right), a conservative appointee of former president Ronald Reagan who is chief of the U.S. 9th Circuit Court of Appeals, posted a photo of naked women standing on all fours and painted to look like cows, as well as a video of a half-naked man with a farm animal. A step-by-step pictorial depicted a woman shaving her pubic hair and other images showed masturbation and what the Times called "contortionist sex." [...]

The judge told the Times that he accidentally loaded the images to his server and would not have intentionally posted them. He said he thought some of the photos were "funny" but acknowledged that the photo of the women painted as cows was "degrading" and "gross." He said, however, that he didn't think the images were obscene.

[Lemur]

Another legal one: Judge rules that police may ban people who have high IQs (http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9A06E2DB143DF93AA3575AC0A96F958260&sec=&spon=&partner=permalink&exprod=permalink).


A Federal judge has dismissed a lawsuit by a man who was barred from the New London police force because he scored too high on an intelligence test.

In a ruling made public on Tuesday, Judge Peter C. Dorsey of the United States District Court in New Haven agreed that the plaintiff, Robert Jordan, was denied an opportunity to interview for a police job because of his high test scores. But he said that that did not mean Mr. Jordan was a victim of discrimination.

Judge Dorsey ruled that Mr. Jordan was not denied equal protection because the city of New London applied the same standard to everyone: anyone who scored too high was rejected.

Only average policemen, please. We have standards to maintain.

[Crazed Rabbit]

New London is the city where the gov't seized private residences to sell to a big retail company to make a shopping mall type complex, IIRC. So obviously they can't have the police thinking too hard about frivolities like the constitution.

Anyways, Lemur's judge on "The Dating Game" decades ago: http://www.breitbart.tv/?p=112153

CR

[Gregoshi]

Only average policemen, please. We have standards to maintain.
Applicants with arrested development will make ideal cops, eh?

[Lemur]

The article is not very silly, but the headline is pure gold:

Synthetic dingo urine could save marsupials (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/main.jhtml?xml=/earth/2008/06/12/eadingo112.xml)

[Vladimir]

Human rinds (http://space.newscientist.com/article/dn14130-first-space-ad-targets-hungry-aliens.html).

[Viking]

When God turns the lights out and it's freezing cold outside, I guess there's only one thing to do...

Antarctica base gets 16,500 condoms before darkness

As if the snow and the cold isn't screwing them hard enough. :no:



Human rinds (http://space.newscientist.com/article/dn14130-first-space-ad-targets-hungry-aliens.html).


The EISCAT European space station on the Norwegian island of Svalbard sent the message using its array of radars.

Oh screw, Svalbard will be out of stock pretty soon. No doubts as of where they'll go next. :hide:

I didn't agree to this; where's democracy? :whip:

[Lemur]

So we're pulsing Doritos advertisements to a nearby galaxy. There's something so wrong and so right about that ...

Meanwhile, let's contribute to the what's gone so horribly wrong in Britain topic with Copyright Holders Gone Wild (http://arstechnica.com/news.ars/post/20080613-uk-police-nicked-by-copyright-cop-for-playing-radio-too-loud.html):


The Performing Rights Society (PRS), which collects royalties for musicians in the UK, has accused Lancashire police of committing copyright infringement by playing music in police stations and to callers on hold without an appropriate license. [...] The Lancashire police stations play music in the background, at office parties, and in staff gyms, even though they have not purchased licenses that enable them to do so legally. PRS says that it has attempted to collect licensing fees from police all over the country, but Lancashire is one of 11 that have refused to pay up, which is why PRS decided to take legal action.

[InsaneApache]

I wonder if they play this in the cop shop? (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0N6YgivIqjI) :laugh4:

[Lemur]

Squid-on-squid violence (http://www.livescience.com/animals/080613-bts-squid.html) observed in the wild.


It was like a scene from a grade-B horror film. On a gently rocking vessel in the warm waters of the Sea of Cortez, a young oceanographer earnestly watches her computer screen while colleagues lower a cable into the water. Instruments aboard the ship, the Pacific Storm, ping sound waves toward the cable. The oceanographer’s eyes flicker across the screen to make sure the signal is clear. Tethered to the cable is a 5-pound Humboldt squid, and the sound waves, set at 38 kilohertz, bounce off the squid. An image shows up on the screen.

The oceanographer raises her fist in triumph. It marks the first time scientists had clearly picked up a strong sonar signal for squid, which lack the bones and swim bladders that give away other marine creatures.

Suddenly a second image appears, darting up from below. The acoustic signal tracks it from the depths toward the cable — and the tethered squid. It is another squid, larger than the first, and it attacks the tethered animal. The oceanographer screams.

Fade to black.

[Geoffrey S]

You missed the worrying part:

Part of an NSF-supported study, Benoit-Bird’s research is also important because it gives scientists a new way to look at an important link in the marine food chain. Squid may not have been properly appreciated, but their impact is becoming apparent. The Humboldt squid appears to be expanding its territory, moving from the Pacific Ocean off Mexico and California into the colder waters near Oregon.

And that is causing some concern.

“The Humboldt squid is a voracious predator that will eat anything it can get its tentacles on,” Benoit-Bird says. “We put a pair of 10-pound squid into a tank and one immediately beheaded the other. These are fierce little beasts.”
The end is nigh! :help:

[Fragony]

Sounds like we might just make it, they are growing devided.

[Geoffrey S]

Divided? No way, it's institutionalized survival of the fittest!

[InsaneApache]

Think of it as more of a training exercise. The SAS versus Spetznatz.

Their will be done.

[English assassin]

Enjoy your days in the sun, ape men.

Which reminds me, I read this as a child, I suspect it made quite an impression. Tanks, flight, domination of the earth by squid, is there nothing HG Wells did not predict?

http://arthursclassicnovels.com/arthurs/wells/searaid10.html

[Gregoshi]

Geez guys, get a backbone...or did you turn them over to your would-be overlords? :laugh4:

[Geoffrey S]

The story has been posted in the Arena, but it is just too weird to leave out here. A topic on another forum has all the necessary links, here (http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=310683). In a nutshell, gamedevelopers create an adventure game, which turns out to have practically no original content at all, taking plagiarism to a whole new level.

Some language, but everything else seems fine for the .org.

[Fragony]

lol ammo shortage for the Flemish army. The minister of defence denies that soldiers have to shout *bang* in training :laugh4:

[Fragony]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080615/ap_on_re_la_am_ca/argentina_che_monument

God almighty. One of the most sickening criminals in the history of South America gets a statue.

[CountArach]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080615/ap_on_re_la_am_ca/argentina_che_monument

God almighty. One of the most sickening criminals in the history of South America gets a statue.
How is that News of the Weird?

[Crazed Rabbit]

Insects. Is there such a thing as an overreaction in dealing with them? One Polish man says no. (http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2891209.html?menu=news.quirkies)

CR

[CountArach]

Insects. Is there such a thing as an overreaction in dealing with them? One Polish man says no. (http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2891209.html?menu=news.quirkies)

CR
People like that bug me.

[Fragony]

How is that News of the Weird?

In a sickening murderer gets a statue kind of way?

[naut]

Insects. Is there such a thing as an overreaction in dealing with them? One Polish man says no. (http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2891209.html?menu=news.quirkies)
I used to have one of them when I was younger, never blew it up though? The only problem was finding tiny tractors for them. (http://lib.store.yahoo.net/lib/discoverthis/vintage-ant-farm-a.gif)

[InsaneApache]

When I was a kid, my brother and I loved reading the old DC comics and Sci-Fi ones like Amazing Stories. They always had those black and white ink drawn adverts in them, you know the ones for X-Ray spex and that Ant Farm (http://lib.store.yahoo.net/lib/discoverthis/vintage-ant-farm-a.gif). I was destined to be disapointed as I could never apply for them, why? Because I didn't have a zip code. Not only did I not have one, I didn't have a clue what one was.

Those damned US comics scarred me for life. :laugh4:

[Lemur]

From the Department of Unfortunate Names:


https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/2hg8c9t.jpg

[Riedquat]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080615/ap_on_re_la_am_ca/argentina_che_monument

God almighty. One of the most sickening criminals in the history of South America gets a statue.

Sickening criminal? thats definitely weird.... I have a few things to tell you but better I will keep them to myself :daisy:

[Lemur]

Fragony has this uncontrollable need to post political stuff in NotW. Kinda the same way I can't help but post dupes. We all have our hangups.

Man arrested for stuffing his pants full of frozen lobsters. (http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/06/17/ap/strange/main4187714.shtml?source=RSS&attr=_4187714) "Co-workers called 911 on Sunday to report a crustacean caper at the walk-in freezer at Junior's Restaurant. Police say they found lobster tails that Flores allegedly had hidden in his pants and in bandages on his legs."

[Lemur]

Thank goodness for science: The result of this study, to the relief of all size seven shoe-wearing males, was that “there is no scientific support for the relationship” between the size of shoe and length of penis. (http://www.divinecaroline.com/article/22081/38464-big-hands--big)

However, height is a different matter:


I found a 2001 Italian study, conducted among 3,300 young men which found that penis dimensions (length and girth) were significantly correlated with weight and height. Another large study, published in the International Journal of Impotence Research in 2007, found a correlation between height and penis dimensions in 1,500 men. Although I’ve definitely seen some statistical outliers—tall men with small penises, short guys with big ones—the averages seem to show that males, parts to a whole, are proportionately scaled.

Okay, kinda makes sense that a person who is just plain bigger all over would be more likely to be, um, big. How about hands?


In 2002, a group of Greek researchers measured the body compositions, including height, weight, waist/hip ratio, finger length and penis length of fifty-two men, aged nineteen to thirty-eight. They found that age and body characteristics were not associated with size of penis except for the “index finger length, which correlated significantly with the dimensions of the flaccid, maximally stretched penis.” Another study—this one with 1500 men—found that length of index finger was significantly correlated with penis dimensions.

Men with small hands have always unnerved me, and now I have a reason why. As with correlating height to penis size, we could probably use a few more studies on this subject, but there is evidence that finger length may have something to do with hormones, which have something to do with growth of a penis.

Aren't you glad I shared?

[Lemur]

Police officer sues Victoria's Secret for eye injury caused by defective thong. Details (http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2008/0617081secrets1.html):


As she was attempting to put on a Victoria's Secret thong, a Los Angeles woman claims that a decorative metallic piece flew off the garment and struck her in the eye, causing injuries and a new product liability lawsuit against the underwear giant. Macrida Patterson, 52, alleges that she was hurt last May by a defective "low-rise v-string" from the Victoria's Secret "Sexy Little Thing" line, according to a lawsuit filed last week in Los Angeles Superior Court. [...] Patterson is a traffic officer with L.A.'s Department of Transportation.

[Fragony]

Fragony has this uncontrollable need to post political stuff in NotW.

In the backroom no less :shame:

[discovery1]

Police officer sues Victoria's Secret for eye injury caused by defective thong. Details (http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2008/0617081secrets1.html):


As she was attempting to put on a Victoria's Secret thong, a Los Angeles woman claims that a decorative metallic piece flew off the garment and struck her in the eye, causing injuries and a new product liability lawsuit against the underwear giant. Macrida Patterson, 52, alleges that she was hurt last May by a defective "low-rise v-string" from the Victoria's Secret "Sexy Little Thing" line, according to a lawsuit filed last week in Los Angeles Superior Court. [...] Patterson is a traffic officer with L.A.'s Department of Transportation.

Why is a 52 year old wearing a thong?

[CountArach]

Why is a 52 year old wearing a thong?
There are some questions in life you don't ask. That is one of them.

[naut]

Why is a 52 year old wearing a thong?
:sick:

[Lemur]

Russian city of Zheleznovodsk unveils bronze monument to enemas (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080619/ap_on_fe_st/russia_enema_monument).


https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/EnemaMonument.jpg

Russian spa opens monument to the enema

Thu Jun 19, 3:05 PM ET

MOSCOW - A monument to the enema, a procedure many people would rather not think about, has been unveiled at a spa in the southern Russian city of Zheleznovodsk. The bronze syringe bulb, which weighs 800 pounds and is held by three angels, was unveiled at the Mashuk-Akva Term spa, the spa's director said Thursday.

"There is no kitsch or obscenity, it is a successful work of art," Alexander Kharchenko told The Associated Press. "An enema is almost a symbol of our region."

The Caucasus Mountains region is known for dozens of spas where enemas with water from mineral springs are routinely administered to treat digestive and other complaints.

Kharchenko, 50, said the monument cost $42,000 and was installed in a square in front of his spa on Wednesday. A banner declaring: "Let's beat constipation and sloppiness with enemas" — an allusion to a line from "The Twelve Chairs," a famous Soviet film comedy — was posted on one of the spa's walls.

Sculptor Svetlana Avakina said she designed the 5-foot-high monument with "irony and humor" and modeled the angels on those in works by Italian Renaissance painter Alessandro Botticelli.

"This device is eternal, it will never change," she told the AP. "We could promote this brand, turn it into a franchise with souvenirs and awards for medical doctors."

Dozens of monuments dedicated to characters from tall tales and popular jokes have been erected in post-Soviet Russia.

[Lemur]

French Police arrest serial gnome abductor (http://www.spiegel.de/international/zeitgeist/0,1518,559251,00.html).


Police in Bretagne have arrested a 53-year-old man suspected of the thefts of 170 garden gnomes. However, it is proving difficult to return the gnomes to their real owners -- the thief painted them different colors, making identification tricky.

When garden gnomes go missing in France, most are tempted to blame the shadowy Garden Gnome Liberation Front. The group has been linked to the disappearance of dozens of miniature garden residents over the years.

Not this time, however. Some 170 gnomes and other ornaments have been stolen in the north-western region of Bretagne recently. And it appears to be the work of a serial garden gnome thief acting on his own.

[FactionHeir]

Plain weird (http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/06/20/rude.awakening.ap/index.html)

[Gregoshi]

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/EnemaMonument.jpg



This belongs in Washington DC...

[Marshal Murat]

UFO in Wales (http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=080620151351.3l2zsy4b&show_article=1)

Has anyone seen BKS?

[discovery1]

Lemur is gonna love this....

Models given their own visas? (http://www.economist.com/world/na/displaystory.cfm?story_id=11586064)

IT'S not often that fashion models are paired with IT workers, except in the lurid fantasies of computer geeks. But because of a decision made back in 1990 they must compete for the same over-subscribed H-1B, a temporary work visa for specialised occupations. Until 2004, when the government lowered the cap on the number of H-1Bs it issued, it didn't matter so much. But now demand has far outstripped the limited number of visas available, and many foreign models are being denied the chance to sashay down America's catwalks.

Anthony Weiner, a New York congressman, wants to fix this tragic glitch. He has proposed a bill amending the rules so that the models will be reclassified into their own special immigration category. This would free up more visas for the nerds; and it would allow 1,000 models to strut their stuff in America each year, compared with just 349 in 2007, half the annual number admitted between 2000 and 2005.

Only 65,000 H-1B visas are awarded annually and they get snapped up within days of becoming available, most of them going to tech workers. Companies like Infosys and Microsoft were among the top H-1B users in 2007. But even these companies are being constrained. Bill Gates, Microsoft's chairman, testified to a Senate committee last year that the only way to solve the “critical shortage of scientific talent” was to open up the country's doors.

Steve King, an Iowa congressman, thinks the bill should be called the “Ugly American Act” because it implies there are not enough beautiful people in the United States. But Mr Weiner, a bachelor accused by the tabloids and his fellow politicians of using the visa issue to get himself a glamorous date, says he's only thinking of New York's economy, which is heavily involved in the fashion industry.

The business generates thousands of jobs and millions in tax revenue: the average photo-shoot costs about $100,000. If a foreign model is denied entry, he says, the production is likely to be lost to other countries. New York's skyline or California's hills can be easily photoshopped in later. This “beauty drain”, as the newspaper Politico calls it, affects make-up artists, stylists and photographers as well as media companies and advertising agencies.

The visas for models bill is still far from becoming reality, and comprehensive immigration reform is a distant dream. Luckily though, supermodels like Gisele Bündchen are in the clear. They are eligible for O-1 visas, given to those with “extraordinary ability,” like Nobel laureates.

[Lemur]

Well, if supermodels can't get an exception to immigration law, what's the point of living?

Check these guys out (http://www.spotrunner.com/ads/ads.aspx?industryid=LLM). They'll whip together a political ad for $499, and even help you schedule it on local cable. Now that's low-rent politics. Just check out some of the template ads. It's uncanny how they've nailed our entire political discourse into 40 prepackaged insert-your-name-here adverts.

[Viking]

Woman sat dead in front of TV for 42 years (http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/2008/05/16/woman-sat-dead-in-front-of-tv-for-42-years-86908-20419070/)


THE remains of a woman have been found sitting in front of her TV - 42 years after she was reported missing.

Hedviga Golik, who was born in 1924, had apparently made herself a cup of tea before sitting in her favourite armchair in front of her black and white television.

...

A police spokesman said: "So far, we have no idea how it is possible that someone officially reported missing so long ago was not found before in the same apartment she used to live in.

"When officers went there, they said it was like stepping into a place frozen in time.


...

Neighbours were shocked by the discovery.

Jadranka Markic was nine when Hedviga "vanished".

She said: "I still remember her. She was a quiet woman who kept herself to herself but was polite. We all thought that she had just moved out and gone to live with relatives."


Hope I'm not doing a Lemur here; this was news May 16, but found it at some forum most recently.

[English assassin]

Having a dog with a "nice personality" is one thing.

But taking it to shows? Is this wise? What of the soul-crushing disappointment of finding you own only the world's second ugliest dog?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/in_pictures/7467474.stm

[Craterus]

Woman sat dead in front of TV for 42 years (http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/2008/05/16/woman-sat-dead-in-front-of-tv-for-42-years-86908-20419070/)



Hope I'm not doing a Lemur here; this was news May 16, but found it at some forum most recently.

:speechless:

[CountArach]

:speechless:
Yeah... I am utterly unsure what to say...

[Crazed Rabbit]

A sign (http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2008/jun/23/fossilfuels.climatechange)you might be getting desperate...

Is it me, or are these guys getting whackier and whackier? He wants to make disagreeing with him a crime against humanity? :dizzy2:

And on a less political note, "I have here in my hand evidence of the dwarven subversion (http://wcbstv.com/local/Dwarf.Pimps.Runaway.2.754338.html) of our upstanding children!"

CR

[Craterus]

Life 4 Sale (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/7467857.stm)

[CountArach]

Life 4 Sale (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/7467857.stm)
I read about this a while back, but I had no idea it had started.

[FactionHeir]

Surviving on coal for 36 days (http://uk.news.yahoo.com/afp/20080623/tod-china-quake-pig-survivor-offbeat-575248e.html)

[Louis VI the Fat]

Surviving on coal for 36 days (http://uk.news.yahoo.com/afp/20080623/tod-china-quake-pig-survivor-offbeat-575248e.html) 36 days of eating burned black lumps of overaged organic material?

Luxury. People have been known to survive on diets like that for well over 36 years in England.

[FactionHeir]

Life 4 Sale (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/7467857.stm)

Life for sale spoiled (http://uk.news.yahoo.com/afp/20080624/tuk-lifestyle-australia-britain-auction-a7ad41d.html)

[Louis VI the Fat]

Virginia groom passes as bride (http://edition.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/06/23/marriage.investigation.ap/index.html)
The couple walked into a Norfolk, Virginia courthouse on a spring day, exchanged a few words, and within 10 minutes, were seemingly husband and wife.

It was an unremarkable ceremony -- except that several weeks later, officials realized the shapely bride might not have been a woman.

Now authorities in Virginia, where same-sex marriages are illegal, are weighing whether to file misdemeanor charges against the couple
Shame-sex marriage?



~~~~


Stuck in a cleavage? Remove that bra!

An American hiker stranded in the Bavarian Alps for nearly three days was rescued after using her sports bra as a signal, police in southern Germany said Monday.

Berchtesgaden police officer Lorenz Rasp said that he helped lift 24-year-old Jessica Bruinsma of Colorado to safety by helicopter on Thursday after she attracted the attention of lumberjacks by attaching her sports bra to a cable used to move timber down the mountain.

"She's a very smart girl, and she acted very resourcefully," said Rasp. "She kept her shirt and jacket for warmth, but thought the sports bra could work as a signal." Sports bra saves hiker stranded in Alps (http://edition.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/europe/06/23/sports.bra.ap/index.html?iref=mpstoryview)

[Fragony]

Granny to teach Italian soldier how to fight

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/2180451/Italian-soldiers-floored-by-77-year-old-Japanese-woman.html

[FactionHeir]

UFOs invade Britain's airspace (http://uk.news.yahoo.com/skynews/20080625/tuk-ufo-sighting-security-probe-needed-45dbed5.html)

[Marshal Murat]

UFOs invade Britain's airspace

Anyone seen BKS?

[Fragony]

Even when I close my eyes

[Louis VI the Fat]

Anyone seen BKS?BKS? He's a medicine student nowadays. Here he is, doing his daily routine at the Sacred Heart Hospital. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wzrzh7G2jhU)

Sheesh. Keep up, will ya!? :no:

[FactionHeir]

Not really news - more a wiki article, but its rather...funny (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adolf_Lu_Hitler_Marak).

[Lemur]

Not really news - more a wiki article, but its rather...funny (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adolf_Lu_Hitler_Marak).
Oh, we take Wiki articles (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Exploding_animals), oh yes we do. Brilliant one, FH!


Other local politicians are named Lenin R. Marak, Stalin L. Nangmin, Frankenstein W. Momin, or Tony Curtis Lyngdoh. Hitler Marak told the Hindustan Times: "Maybe my parents liked the name and hence christened me Hitler... I am happy with my name, although I don't have any dictatorial tendencies."

-edit-

Looks like another deadly School Ninja Attack (http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/06/25/ap/strange/main4209861.shtml) was barely averted: "Public schools in Barnegat were locked down briefly after someone reported seeing a ninja running through the woods behind an elementary school."

[Gregoshi]

"...after someone reported seeing a ninja..."

Not a very good ninja...

[LittleGrizzly]

UFOs invade Britain's airspace (http://uk.news.yahoo.com/skynews/20080625/tuk-ufo-sighting-security-probe-needed-45dbed5.html)

"But it is certainly not advisable for police helicopters to go chasing what they think are UFOs," he added.

:laugh4::laugh4:

[InsaneApache]

Street sweeper sucks! (http://newsvote.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7456051.stm)

I reckon they were just trying to give him the brush off...


The Department of Sanitation offered its condolences to Mr Machin and his family but added: "It is important for all New Yorkers to remember to maintain the safety of their animals while walking city streets."

:shame:

[Lemur]

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/NC-WTF-PLate2008-06-25-1214430589.jpg

What the heck? North Carolina issues around ten thousand license plates (http://ohmygov.com/blogs/general_news/archive/2008/06/25/wtf-north-carolina.aspx) that begin with the potentially mis-readable WTF letters, later forced to recall them after hundreds of teens choke to death from snickering. DMV also forgets to remove the plate with "WTF" from their website.

Could be worse, they could be the Wisconsin Tourism Federation (http://www.witourismfederation.org/). I don't see a way out for them.


https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/wtf.gif

-edit-

Or the World Taekwando Federation (http://www.wtf.org/) ...


https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/logo_wtf.gif

[Lemur]

Inexplicable signs (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/2193629/Sign-language-week-four.html):


https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/IntercourseDiscomfort.jpg

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/HeadSmashedIn.jpg

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/FriedLiverWash.jpg

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/DominatingRoom.jpg

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/BirdsFriend.jpg

[shlin28]

The second to last picture should be "Control Room", and the last picture should be "Let us be friends with the birds" (:dizzy2:)

Pretty funny though :smash:

[Louis VI the Fat]

News? No. Weird? Not really. Fun? Absolutely!

Don't know where else to post it, so I'll dump it here: Stuart Jeffries considers the perils and pleasures of school swaps, (http://education.guardian.co.uk/schools/story/0,,2287330,00.html)while Guardian writers recall their most memorable experiences

Confused teenage Briton in Germany:

"I don't like it here. Please give me my passport back so I can go home, you wicked Bavarians"
Confused teenage Briton in France:

"The whole family would sit down in front of the telly to watch soft-porn films together.

It's a veritable treasure trove of memorable quotes!

The moment I saw her long, mournful Gallic face, I knew I was doomed. Sure enough, after watching my best friend Sarah and 28 other classmates be swept off in expensive cars to plush appartements et immeubles in desirable Parisian arrondissements full of dazzling glamour, promise and lean, olive-skinned young men with dangerous eyes and permanent erections, I was bundled into the back of a 30-year-old Peugeot 205 that smelt of sheep and despair and driven - as it seemed to me - to the arse end of rural France. La Ville de Merde-Douche, I think it was.:laugh4: :laugh4:

[Evil_Maniac From Mars]

Don't know where else to post it, so I'll dump it here: Stuart Jeffries considers the perils and pleasures of school swaps, (http://education.guardian.co.uk/schools/story/0,,2287330,00.html)while Guardian writers recall their most memorable experiences


:laugh4:

But...


I discovered Spezzi, a daring orangeade/cola hybrid

Spezi! ONE Z!

I am done. ~;)

EDIT: Not quite.


Then we went swimming. It was when Karin readied herself for a plunge from the high diving board and lifted her arms above her head that my English chums and I first noticed. She didn't shave her armpits! If text messaging had been invented in 1996, I would surely have sent a massive "OMG, WTF?!?!" back to Morecambe. Having been taught by Just Seventeen to scythe our body hair the moment it sprouted, we were disgusted. And being horrible teenage girls, we came up with a suitably catty nickname for the unfortunate Teuton: from then on, Karin became the "Schwarzwald", aka "the Black Forest".

Oh dear Lord that is hilarious! :laugh4:


I am sure this visit is why I still have a French accent I can be proud of, but which sadly far exceeds my mastery of the language itself. The result, I have realised on subsequent trips to France, is that I am often taken not for an Englishman who is clever enough to speak French, but for a very stupid Frenchman.

I am having so much fun right now.

[InsaneApache]

Was Sarah scarred for life by the trauma? "Nah. I had a great time. We just played pool and drank a lot. It was much easier to drink underage there than here. I was just disappointed that the boys we came across were a bit ugly and wore terrible clothes."

:laugh4:

but this is a classic....


La Ville de Merde-Douche, I think it was. Apparently, this was where Delphine (it means "mute and sullen" en français) and her rotten French family spent their rotten French summer holidays every rotten French year.

That does mean what I think it does? ROFLMFAO. :laugh4:

[Viking]

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/BirdsFriend.jpg

Is that where the exploding wiki birds come from? :inquisitive:

[seireikhaan]

Inexplicable
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/DominatingRoom.jpg
Bad Lemur! :whip:
It took me nearly 4 minutes to recover after a bit of the sandwich I was chewing on was snorted up into my nostrils from laughing at that picture.

[Lemur]

Glad I could be of service, makaikhaan. The nose is an underrated digestive organ.

Man arrested for deadly assault using fork and frozen chicken (http://www.clickondetroit.com/news/16715911/detail.html).


"He stabbed his mother in the back of the neck when she refused to give him money, and then, an hour later, he attacked a neighbor woman with a chicken," Jackson County Chief Assistant Prosecutor Mark Blumer told the Ann Arbor news.

A short time later, he encountered two other women talking on the sidewalk on Woodbridge Street.

The woman said he said something nasty to them and hit one of them over the head with 10 pounds of frozen chicken.

[InsaneApache]

I wonder if his mam got the point or did she cry foul? Perhaps she speak with forked tongue.

[Marshal Murat]

"Jessica Simpson might have a right to wear what she wants, but she doesn't have a right to eat what she wants (http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/politics/animal-rights-group-turns-its-fire-on-celebrity-meateaters-856591.html)

[Lemur]

Animal rights protesters have launched a series of angry campaigns against A-list carnivores. They are shifting their focus from celebrities who wear fur to others who encourage the "exploitation" of animals by eating them.
I'm going to brutally exploit animals by saying that PETA has jumped the shark.

[Banquo's Ghost]

In May the group condemned the British actor Jonathan Rhys Meyers for admitting that he had tried dog meat while in China.

Barking mad. :shocked2:

[Lemur]

Soviets maintained "extraordinarily detailed" maps of Scotland. Yes, Scotland. (http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2008/06/29/Soviets_had_mapped_Scotland_in_detail/UPI-33411214712060/)


A Scottish map enthusiast has discovered that the former Soviet Union had extraordinarily detailed maps of Scotland. [...]

"You have got to speculate as to how maps of this complexity were put together," Davies said. "A lot of it could have been done through aerial surveillance, either by satellite or high-altitude reconnaissance planes. But the maps also include detail which just could not have been observed from the air. That means that they almost certainly had people on the ground in the U.K. compiling these maps."

The maps even showed whether buildings had been fire-proofed.

[Crazed Rabbit]

I won't say anything...about this news (http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/europe/06/29/france.shooting.demo.ap/index.html).

At least no one died.

CR

[CountArach]

I won't say anything...about this news (http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/europe/06/29/france.shooting.demo.ap/index.html).

At least no one died.

CR
Woah, that's just shocking...

[Gregoshi]

I'm going to brutally exploit animals by saying that PETA has jumped the shark.
Well put Lemur. I'm waiting for the ACLU to jump to the defense of lower life forms such a plants that PETA obviously has an agenda against. Stop the PETAphiles!

[FactionHeir]

Problems getting marks on your GSCE English exam? Write an expletive! (http://uk.news.yahoo.com/rtrs/20080630/tuk-uk-britain-exam-fa6b408.html)

[TB666]

"Jessica Simpson might have a right to wear what she wants, but she doesn't have a right to eat what she wants (http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/politics/animal-rights-group-turns-its-fire-on-celebrity-meateaters-856591.html)
https://img166.imageshack.us/img166/5080/petaprotest135577tjl7.jpg
Say what you want but I would eat those 2 :wink3:

[Conqueror]

I do feel compelled to turn over some leaves alright...

[Gregoshi]

Say what you want but I would eat those 2 :wink3:
On a PETA?

[InsaneApache]

It's political correctness gone mad, mad I tells ya!


An eight-year-old boy has sparked an unlikely outcry in Sweden after failing to invite two of his classmates to his birthday party.

The boy's school says he has violated the children's rights and has complained to the Swedish Parliament.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/7479758.stm

Well I'm not inviting that snotty nosed lad down the road to my birthday bash. I don't care what parliament says about it. I don't like him, he smells funny. So nah!

[Fragony]

Wåt the :daisy:? :laugh4:

used to be vikings

[Lemur]

Apparently some web sites that take feeds off AP and UPI use auto-replacing software to clean up the content. One such site, the American Family Association’s OneNewsNow (http://www.thecarpetbaggerreport.com/archives/16044.html), did itself a bit of oddness when its software auto-corrected track star Tyson Gay's victory at the Olympic trials. The "corrected" text is worth a read:


Tyson Homosexual easily won his semifinal for the 100 meters at the U.S. Olympic track and field trials and seemed to save something for the final later Sunday.

His wind-aided 9.85 seconds was a fairly cut-and-dry performance compared to what happened a day earlier. On Saturday, Homosexual misjudged the finish in his opening heat and had to scramble to finish fourth, then in his quarterfinal a couple of hours later, ran 9.77 to break the American record that had stood since 1999. […]

Homosexual didn’t get off to a particularly strong start in the first semifinal, but by the halfway mark he had established a comfortable lead. He slowed somewhat over the final 10 meters-nothing like the way-too-soon complete shutdown that almost cost him Saturday. Asked how he felt, Homosexual said: “A little fatigued.”


https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/OneNewsNowGay.gif

[InsaneApache]

:laugh4:

[Louis VI the Fat]

Ozzie, Ozzie, Ozzie, oi oi oi!! (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7481039.stm)


Defence officials have had to allay the concerns of Sydney office workers, who watched as an air force fighter chased what appeared to be a passenger plane. Some people thought Australia's most populous city might be coming under attack.

Instead the Australian Defence Force was bidding farewell to one of its aircraft. The media had been alerted about the fly-past over Sydney harbour bridge but not, apparently, the public.

A number of office workers decided to evacuate their skyscrapers after watching in alarm as a passenger plane flew low over Sydney harbour chased by an air force fighter. After flying over the city the planes banked over the coast then headed back towards the central business district. One eyewitness said the sight and sound of the planes was "terrifying".
A passenger plane, chased by military aircraft, right through Sydney's business district, without properly informing the public it was not a terrorist attack? Where have these people been the past decade? :idea2:

[Gregoshi]

An eight-year-old boy has sparked an unlikely outcry in Sweden after failing to invite two of his classmates to his birthday party.

The boy's school says he has violated the children's rights and has complained to the Swedish Parliament.
Those Scandalnavians have taken things too far...

[Marshal Murat]

Yellow Sea turns Green (http://www.iht.com/articles/2008/06/30/asia/china.php)

As an informed reader, I can only draw one conclusion.

OCTOSQUID plot to deny the waters near CHINA, and to hide the massive BUILDUP of OCTOSQUID forces, in what I fear may be OPERATION OLYMPIC CALAMARI.

[Gregoshi]

Yellow Sea turns Green (http://www.iht.com/articles/2008/06/30/asia/china.php)

Call in the Greeks. They know how to deal with the Algean seas.

[ShadesPanther]

The Viking are invading! (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/7482551.stm)


Athough he mighta had too much grog.

[Gregoshi]

The Viking are invading! (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/7482551.stm)

Alas, he tried to go Strait to bed but ended up stealing a few zzz's by drifting off to sleep. Fortunately he was not awakened in the shipping lanes, else he could have ended up on the sea bed.

[InsaneApache]

So you can puff on a draw but you can't puff on a fag! :laugh4:


Strictly speaking, marijuana is illegal as well - but it is tolerated. So, perhaps oddly, the smoking of pure grass or hash will still be allowed.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/7478243.stm

Next they'll be banning spoons for the smack heads. :laugh4:

[Lemur]

An article about male Brazilian waxing (http://www.collegecandy.com/body/10068) appears to have an image of Christopher Hitchens getting his inner thighs waxed. My poor, tiny brain will explode in a minute. Admittedly, they don't say it's Hitchens, but the resemblance is uncanny ...


https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/male-bikini.jpg

[Marshal Murat]

200 person brawl (http://news-press.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080701/NEWS0110/80701033/1075)

The number is surprising, but if you look at the people on the right, they seemed to have used the same picture twice?

[English assassin]

An article about male Brazilian waxing (http://www.collegecandy.com/body/10068) appears to have an image of Christopher Hitchens getting his inner thighs waxed. My poor, tiny brain will explode in a minute. Admittedly, they don't say it's Hitchens, but the resemblance is uncanny ...


https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/male-bikini.jpg

Lemur, mate, if you are going to search for nurse-porn, you have GOT to up your google fu, or this sort of thing is going to keep on happening.

Still, just think, before the internet, how hard it would have been to find a picture of Christopher Hitchens getting his inner thighs waxed? And so human progress roles inexorably on....

[Fragony]

Sorry in advance Lemur but I hope this is weird enough ~:rolleyes:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1030798/Muslims-outraged-police-advert-featuring-cute-puppy-sitting-policemans-hat.html

[Lemur]

You know, Frag, I wanted to post that one, too, but I felt prevented by the times I'd gotten on my high horse with you. And yes, it's perfect.

"No cute puppies, please, we're Muslim."