News of the Weird [Archive] - Page 16

InsaneApache

06-26-2009, 18:59

Man that's gotta hurt.....

Christian Lehman, 31, was left with multiple injuries to his legs and feet and 200 metal plates and screws to hold his ribs and shoulder blades in place.

He underwent 17 emergency surgeries and received 80 pints of blood in transfusions after climbing into the bin outside the main bus station in the British army garrison town of Paderborn.

Mr Lehman had been drinking white grain spirit, vodka and beer with friends when he went to the bin to try to retrieve boxes to make his bed for the night.

"I kind of toppled in, it was comfortable and I just fell asleep," he recalled.

But before dawn the binmen came and he was thrown into two-ton jaws of the machine.

"I cried out in pain but no-one could hear me," he said. "Pretty soon I was helpless with pain, doubled over. I could hear the bones cracking like twigs... pop, pop, pop, one after another.

"I just wanted God to end it quick."

It was only when the binmen paused the machinery to throw in more garbage that they noticed blood dripping from the jaws of the crusher and took a look inside.

Lehman was squeezed into a shape no bigger than a cardboard box.

It took firemen and paramedics 45 minutes to free him from the machine so he could be taken by helicopter to a hospital.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/germany/5650783/Homeless-man-crushed-after-sleeping-in-wheelie-bin.html

:sweatdrop:

naut

06-26-2009, 19:10

Wow. Ouch.

Hooahguy

06-26-2009, 19:49

how did he survive? wow thats amazing....

Lemur

06-27-2009, 03:31

At long last, I can ditch my wife and buy a fembot! (http://www.techradar.com/news/world-of-tech/sega-makes-minature-robot-girlfriend-for-lonely-men-611521)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/female_humanoid_robot1-728-75.jpg

Sega, known for its game consoles and Sonic the Hedgehog, has gone down the rather unusual route of creating a battery powered miniature robot girlfriend for lonely adult males. Called EMA (which stands for Eternal Maiden Actualization) Sega hopes this mini-fembot, which it describes as petite, friendly and big-busted, will bring joy to those in need when it is released onto the market in September.

She may be just 15 inches tall, but she's ready to entertain: she can sing, dance, hand out business cards and "walk like a lady". What's more, if you are feeling amorous, just activate her 'love mode' and using her infrared sensors she will detect and kiss any human heads in her vicinity.

||Lz3||

06-27-2009, 05:26

Chinese toddler claims to be world's youngest smoker

BEIJING, June 23 (RIA Novosti) - A two and a half year old Chinese boy from the city of Tianjin could be the world's youngest smoker, China Radio International (CRI) reported on Tuesday.

The child, identified as Tong Liangliang, was encouraged to smoke by his father. Liangliang was born with a hernia, but was too young for an operation. The father gave his son a cigarette when he was 18 months to try and relieve his pain.

"The father wasn't aware how serious the toddler's habit had become until the child began to increase the number of cigarettes he smoked per day," CRI said.

Liangliang now smokes a pack of cigarettes a day and refuses to quit. Every time he sees someone smoking, he asks for a cigarette too and becomes agitated and angry if refused.

In 2005, a 37-year-old Chinese man submitted an application to the Guinness Book of records, claiming he had started smoking at the age of three and was the world's youngest smoker. His application was denied on the grounds that it promoted a harmful habit.

CountArach

06-27-2009, 14:47

Makanyane

06-27-2009, 15:20

An unforgettable story (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1195683/Will-stop-pandamonium-Thai-elephants-painted-look-like-pandas-black-white-bears-steal-fans.html)

Lemur

06-27-2009, 23:29

Why you should always wear a lifejacket when mowing the lawn (http://www.ketv.com/news/19872744/detail.html)

OMAHA, Neb. -- An 85-year-old man drowned after being tossed from his riding lawnmower at his home near Cedar Bluffs. [...] Kavan was mowing his property a little before 8 p.m. Thorson said the mower overturned at an embankment, throwing Kavan into some nearby water, where he drowned.

Hosakawa Tito

06-27-2009, 23:56

Airing it out (http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0618191air1.html). to air is human, but to forgive is not memphis law enforcement policy

Time for a career change. Most Hopeless Job in the World (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/8096137.stm)

Lemur

06-28-2009, 03:57

Time for a career change. Most Hopeless Job in the World (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/8096137.stm)
Yah, I guess the Somali Navy is a pretty bad gig. But for sheer absurdity, I'll take the Bolivian Navy (http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/bolivias-landlocked-navy-dreams-of-leaving-lake-titicaca-572575.html) any day of the week. It's like having a Swiss Navy, only sillier.

From the shores of Lake Titicaca high in the Andes, you can still see the Bolivian navy puttering around, in the hope that they may, one day, see the bright blue ocean to the west once again. While La Paz stands on the abyss of civil war, its population starving and its economy in free fall, its leaders are strangely preoccupied with rectifying what has long been relegated to the history books.

A buddy of mine is from Bolivia, and he tells me that "Sea Day" is exactly as pathetic and hilarious as it sounds. Nothing better than a bunch of men in naval uniforms on gussied-up fishing boats talking about the sea in a landlocked nation.

Fragony

06-29-2009, 07:56

Husar

06-29-2009, 13:46

I saw that, seems really weird, and I'm also glad that fake tan is out now.

Louis VI the Fat

06-29-2009, 15:25

Dawn of a new era, the EU lifts the ban on non-straight cuccumbers, they are no longer VERBOTEN.

It is cheap, but is it good http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1196064/Tumbling-tower-China-Amazing-pictures-13-storey-block-flats-toppled-over.htmlFour remarks:

The Daily Mail link links to an article about China.

Don't read the tabloids for your news.

'Verboten' - nice and sinister, the EU fascist superstate.

An EU ban on non-straight cucumbers is a myth. There has never existed one, and consequently, it has not been lifted. It exists only in the alternate universe of the tabloids / interwebs, together with Spiderman and alien abductions.

For more Euromyths, check here:
http://ec.europa.eu/unitedkingdom/press/euromyths/myth26_en.htm

Fragony

06-29-2009, 15:46

Nonsense.

I know it links to fallen buildings, didn't feel like making a new post.

Hosakawa Tito

06-29-2009, 22:41

People with worse sex lives than you (http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0624091chips1.html). Rumor has it she passed on the Pringles because she doesn't like it in the can. :drummer:

Hooahguy

06-30-2009, 00:44

beaten by the lemur.

Woman agrees to sex for box of potato chips, gets arrested (http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0624091chips1.html) (so what happens if you buy her dinner and drinks and take her to a show?)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/0624091inside1.jpg

JUNE 24--Meet Lahoma Sue Smith. The Oklahoma woman, 36, copped a plea last week to a prostitution charge for accepting a box of Frito-Lay chips in exchange for oral sex. According to the below Oklahoma City Police Department report, john Faron Johnson told cops that he informed Smith that he did not have any money, but that she "agreed to give him a 'blow job' meaning oral sex, for a box of chips." Johnson, a Frito-Lay employee, provided Smith with a case of chips he valued at $30.

Fragony

06-30-2009, 02:19

But that is not weird that is sad

Lemur

06-30-2009, 22:20

Of all the DIY projects to pick ... (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/5694913/Man-uses-nail-clippers-in-DIY-circumcision.html)

A man who gave himself a DIY circumcision using nail clippers was taken to hospital for emergency treatment. The young man had to be rushed to the Lister Hospital in Stevenage, Hertfordshire. [...] "This is something we would advise men never to attempt," a medic said, "The results can be quite horrific and long-lasting and have quite an affect on a man's sexual performance.

"Using a pair of nail clippers must have caused excruciating pain, even if he had had a few drinks beforehand."

miotas

07-01-2009, 00:46

Flying car crashes into a parked aeroplane (http://www3.signonsandiego.com/stories/2009/jun/30/bn30stolen085217/)

He hit a berm, which launched the car into the air, over a 52-foot-wide drainage ditch, Miller said.
When the car touched down, it struck a parked aircraft, flipped onto its top and smashed into a hangar wall,

Lemur

07-01-2009, 03:17

You have to admire a site that violates Godwin's Law from the outset:

Cats who look like Hitler (http://www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com/cgi-bin/seigmiaow.pl)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/kitler2129-1.jpg

miotas

07-01-2009, 03:31

I had never heard of godwins law but wiki says

Godwin's Law (also known as Godwin's Rule of Nazi Analogies)[1] is a humorous observation coined by Mike Godwin in 1990, and which has become an Internet adage. It states: "As a Usenet discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1."

So doesn't that site comply with Godwin's Law?

EDIT
Also, more proof that cats are evil :tongue:

Lemur

07-01-2009, 03:33

So doesn't that site comply with Godwin's Law?
Ugh, yes, Godwin's Law merely states the probability of a Nazi/Hitler reference. However, the most-cited corollary to Godwin's Law is that the first person to bring up the Third Reich automatically loses the argument. But since nobody wants to say, "You violated the prime corollary of Godwin's Law," most people shorten it to just "Godwin's Law" and we all know what they mean.

The internets are complicated.

Crazed Rabbit

07-01-2009, 04:53

Ugh, yes, Godwin's Law merely states the probability of a Nazi/Hitler reference. However, the most-cited corollary to Godwin's Law is that the first person to bring up the Third Reich automatically loses the argument. But since nobody wants to say, "You violated the prime corollary of Godwin's Law," most people shorten it to just "Godwin's Law" and we all know what they mean.

The internets are complicated.

I think it's an important distinction. Mentioning nazis and/or hitler can be a valid point. Fulfilling Godwin's Law doesn't mean you lose the argument. It can be a logical fallacy, of course, but it's hardly unique in that.

And in weird news, a woman claims a dog forced her to steal money. (http://www.heraldnet.com/article/20090630/NEWS01/706309908#Woman.tells.police.her.dog.made.her.steal.money) And from WA state too.

CR

Crazed Rabbit

07-01-2009, 07:27

Four remarks:

The Daily Mail link links to an article about China.

Don't read the tabloids for your news.

'Verboten' - nice and sinister, the EU fascist superstate.

An EU ban on non-straight cucumbers is a myth. There has never existed one, and consequently, it has not been lifted. It exists only in the alternate universe of the tabloids / interwebs, together with Spiderman and alien abductions.

For more Euromyths, check here:
http://ec.europa.eu/unitedkingdom/press/euromyths/myth26_en.htm

Hmm, so is the BBC now a Euro-skeptic tabloid? (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/8127461.stm)

Or do you simply look down on all British press as tabloids? ~;p

Curly cucumbers, crooked carrots and mottled mushrooms - odd-looking fruit and vegetables are making a comeback as 20-year-old EU rules are lifted.

Marketing standards for 26 types of produce have been scrapped, in a drive to cut EU bureaucracy.

The standards will remain in place for 10 of the most popular types. But with an appropriate label shops will be able to sell "ugly" specimens of these too.
...
Some 20% of produce is rejected by shops across the EU because it fails to meet the current requirements. [!!!-Ed.]

CR

Fragony

07-01-2009, 08:44

But of course.

I didn't click Louis's link, if you did, is one of the myths that the EU does not, I repeat, does not have the aspiration to become an undemocratic superstate with the ability to make up laws overruling our national constitutions??

That would be so wrong, please don't tell me it isn't true.

Hooahguy

07-01-2009, 15:44

Air New Zealand has nothing to hide (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/06/30/air-new-zealand-naked-ad_n_223192.html)

In its latest ad campaign, Air New Zealand has given new meaning to the overused business cliche "transparency." The struggling Kiwi airliner has decided to emphasize that, unlike its competitors, it has nothing to hide. Well, literally...

In the below video, extremely fit Air New Zealand employees draw raised eyebrows from travelers as they appear in body paint made to look like uniforms.

Lemur

07-02-2009, 04:02

One of the many reasons I hated doing performance reviews when I was corporate. (http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSTRE55T4VO20090630?rpc=64)

MADRID - Spanish police have arrested a man whom they suspect hired a contract killer to murder his boss in a desperate bid to avoid being laid off, newspaper El Pais reported on Tuesday.

The head of audiovisual services at the Barcelona International Convention Center contracted a Colombian man who shot and killed the director of the convention center on Feb 9, according to police.

The director had planned to lay off the arrested man as part of a restructuring project, police said.

In fear of losing his job, the head of services, through his sister, contracted a team of six Colombians who planned and carried out the killing, El Pais reported.

Lemur

07-02-2009, 04:37

Japanese fear invasion of giant jellyfish (http://www.pinktentacle.com/2009/07/japan-fears-massive-jellyfish-invasion-this-year/)

Japanese researchers monitoring the activity of giant jellyfish in Chinese waters are warning of a potentially historic and catastrophic invasion this year.

Marine surveys conducted in late June have revealed alarming numbers of Nomura’s jellyfish — massive creatures that grow up to 2 meters (6 ft 7 in) in diameter and weigh as much as to 220 kilograms (about 450 lbs) — lurking in the Yellow Sea and East China Sea. The researchers warn that ocean currents may bring swarms of the monster jellies to Japan, which has been plagued by similar invasions in recent years.

Fragony

07-02-2009, 07:40

Nothing you know is a fact

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v494/Fragony/012.jpg

http://fishki.net/comment.php?id=53738

Vladimir

07-02-2009, 13:21

Air New Zealand has nothing to hide (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/06/30/air-new-zealand-naked-ad_n_223192.html)

:laugh4: Those people couldn't get more than 5 comments in before the hate America posts began. :2thumbsup:

Nothing you know is a fact

http://fishki.net/comment.php?id=53738

Gotta love those Russian websites sneaking boobies in!

Gregoshi

07-02-2009, 14:41

Air New Zealand has nothing to hide (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/06/30/air-new-zealand-naked-ad_n_223192.html)
We flew Air New Zealand from LA to Melbourne. Alas, the flight crew wore conventional clothing. We are flying them again on the way home. Will have to pay close attention to the uniforms.

Pannonian

07-02-2009, 18:56

Respect Da Nigaz (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/8130334.stm)

A marketing blunder in Nigeria has got online communities all of a twitter, after a joint oil and gas venture with Russia was named Nigaz.

Russia's Gazprom and Nigeria's state-operated NNPC formed the company - pronounced "nye-gaz" - last week.

Vladimir

07-02-2009, 19:15

Not quite New Zealand.

http://translate.google.com/translate?hl=en&u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.26noticias.com.ar%2Fpasajero-se-desnuda-en-pleno-vuelo-y-obliga-a-desviar-un-avion-92063.html

Conqueror

07-02-2009, 21:16

Japanese fear invasion of giant jellyfish (http://www.pinktentacle.com/2009/07/japan-fears-massive-jellyfish-invasion-this-year/)

We all know that there's only one thing that can happen next: The Great King Jellyfish the size of a skyscraper will inevitably rise from the waves in wake of his army and spread terror across Japan, until being confronted by Godzilla, at which point the two monsters must fight an epic battle over Tokyo, leaving the city in ruins.

https://i130.photobucket.com/albums/p280/zerglin/Smileys/Godzilla.gif

Beskar

07-03-2009, 00:53

The Japanese should put the Jelly fish on their menu, it would put a stop to them.
(I don't know how edible they are, so correct me)

Lemur

07-03-2009, 03:09

Microsoft's new promotional tool: Vomit. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xB9fhjnJcB0) No, really.

Crazed Rabbit

07-03-2009, 03:37

Vomit and superman, mind.

CR

Viking

07-03-2009, 13:41

Ok, this is just crazy. Presented at BBC's homepage (http://www.bbc.co.uk/)as one of the top three strories of today, is an article concerning a gamer that got banned from Eve Online because of a ToS violation:

Billions stolen in online robbery (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/8132547.stm)

Space trading game Eve Online has suffered a virtual version of the credit crunch.

[...]

One of the bank's controllers stole about 200bn kredits and swapped them for real world cash of £3,115.

[...]

It has now emerged that Ricdic used the cash to put down a deposit on a house and to pay medical bills.

"I'm not proud of it at all, that's why I didn't brag about it," Ricdic told Reuters. "But you know, if I had to do it again, I probably would've chosen the same path based on the same situation."

Ricdic has now been thrown out of the game as trading in-game cash for real money is against Eve Online's terms and conditions.

KukriKhan

07-03-2009, 13:54

Also from the Beeb: Global Warming = Shrinking Sheep (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/8130907.stm).

Makes sense, right? If I leave my wool sweater in the clothes dryer too long...

:laugh4:

Hosakawa Tito

07-03-2009, 15:10

The Sea Org (http://www.tampabay.com/news/scientology/article1012575.ece) Whooo boy, this is one org that I'll pass on.

"The Sea Org is not a democracy. The members of it agree with a man named L. Ron Hubbard. They abide by his policies . . . and we follow it to the T, to the letter, to the punctuation marks. And if you disagree with that and you don't like it, you don't belong. Then you leave."

The scurvy dog leaves by walking the plank.:pirate2:

We commit your sins and errors to the deep and trust you will rise a better thetan. :laugh4::laugh4::laugh4:

Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide
No escape from reality

Ya think? :laugh4::laugh4::laugh4:

Lemur

07-04-2009, 05:25

Squirrel pops out of woman's cleavage while police interview her about a murder (http://www.cbsnews.com/blogs/2009/07/02/crimesider/entry5129455.shtml)

At one point in the interview, the woman, wearing a skimpy tank top, leaned over and out of her bosom crept a baby squirrel that was nestled in the woman's cleavage. The woman, seemingly unphased, gently put the small creature back inside her shirt and continued talking to the detective.

The shocked detective said that he was at a loss for words. "The squirrel seemed quite happy," Mackey said.

It is not clear if the squirrel is the woman's pet or even why she decided to bring with her for the interview.

Fragony

07-05-2009, 08:32

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/film/news/e3ic3a4730761c7eaf6aac2de4e28ef8e67

That has got to be the greatest movie ever

Pannonian

07-05-2009, 12:16

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/film/news/e3ic3a4730761c7eaf6aac2de4e28ef8e67

That has got to be the greatest movie ever
Haven't they already made a film of Asteroids (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armageddon_%28film%29)?

miotas

07-06-2009, 12:00

Man impersonates his dead mum to collect her pension cheques (http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,25653844-5001021,00.html)

miotas

07-06-2009, 12:56

Got a few more.
Jewel theives caught because getaway driver wouldn't speed (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/lawandorder/5586861/Jewel-gang-caught-after-getaway-driver-refuses-to-speed.html)
Romanian motorist pites slow pedestrian (http://www.shortnews.com/start.cfm?id=79226)

And here's one for the kiddies
Naval captain bans the devils vegetable. (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1193407/Sprout-hating-captain-bans-Devils-vegetable-ship.html)

Fragony

07-06-2009, 13:41

Women :juggle2:

http://www.mailonsunday.co.uk/news/article-1197757/New-MI6-chief-faces-probe-wife-exposes-life-Facebook.html

Gregoshi

07-06-2009, 15:13

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/film/news/e3ic3a4730761c7eaf6aac2de4e28ef8e67

That has got to be the greatest movie ever
I suppose the movie-goer has to put a quarter in the slot every 2 minutes to keep the movie playing...

InsaneApache

07-06-2009, 16:14

I suppose the movie-goer has to put a quarter in the slot every 2 minutes to keep the movie playing...

I got that good at it in the 70s that I could play it all night for 10p.* In the pub as well! Those old games started me off and now look where I am 30 years later.

*Then as now, I'm a modest sort of chap. :laugh4:

Hosakawa Tito

07-06-2009, 23:19

It's good to be a British criminal. (http://www.eadt.co.uk/content/eadt/news/story.aspx?brand=EADOnline&category=News&tBrand=EADOnline&tCategory=xDefault&itemid=IPED02%20Jul%202009%2023%3A24%3A35%3A100) :dizzy2:

Crime is my profession. (http://www.newsday.com/news/local/wire/newyork/ny-bc-ny-odd--robbery-outof0701jul01,0,3987482.story) :laugh4:

You are presumed innocent till the mugshot is released. (http://i.cdn.turner.com/trutv/thesmokinggun.com/graphics/art4/0702093mugs4.jpg) :laugh4:

Conqueror

07-08-2009, 14:51

Latvian Banker Taking Souls as Collateral (http://www.cnbc.com/id/31722810)

Ready to give your soul for a loan in these difficult economic times? In Latvia, where the crisis has raged more than in the rest of the European Union, you can.

miotas

07-09-2009, 13:59

Man drowns in chocolate (http://www.examiner.com/x-5585-Offbeat-News-Examiner~y2009m7d8-Man-drowns-in-chocolate)

Ladies! Grow your own sperm! (http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/lifematters/grow-your-own-sperm--a-little-lab-will-do-you-20090708-ddfq.html)

Lemur

07-09-2009, 22:39

Evicted by audible orgasms (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/5778541/Family-could-be-forced-out-by-neighbours-lovemaking.html)

The Thompsons say they have been woken repeatedly in the night since the amorous middle-aged couple moved next door to their home five weeks ago. [...] The family approached their married neighbours who agreed to move their bed and place a wardrobe next to the thin adjoining wall, but the Thompsons say the late night commotions have continued.

West Oxfordshire District Council refused to get involved, saying that the noise related to "fundamental domestic activity", and the family is now considering moving out.

Hosakawa Tito

07-09-2009, 23:25

Hah, reminds me of when my first wife and I started out in a dinky upper apartment on Long Island. The place was so small we had to squeeze my daughter's crib in our bedroom. The downstairs neighbor, a nice woman quite a bit older than us, became quite chatty with my wife and would help her hauling laundry/groceries/packages/baby up those stinking stairs. After a time she offered to babysit in our apartment one day when Marcy had to go out and I was working overtime. When Marcy got home our neighbored laughed and mentioned that she thought all that noise she heard coming from our apartment was us "getting busy", a lot. Most of the time it was our daughter jumping up & down in her crib. :laugh4:

Fragony

07-10-2009, 12:51

Electrifying news from Serbia, the country is shocked after heart-patient Nada Acimovich was miraculously cured after being zapped by Zeus.

:yes:

KukriKhan

07-10-2009, 13:43

Electrifying news from Serbia, the country is shocked after heart-patient Nada Acimovich was miraculously cured after being zapped by Zeus.

:yes:

We lazy readers like LINKS (http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_3396226.html).

Fragony

07-10-2009, 14:19

We lazy readers like LINKS (http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_3396226.html).

Who needs a link when I say a heartpatient was cured by lightning. I mean common happens every day.

Crazed Rabbit

07-10-2009, 22:04

It's old news, and it ain't that weird, but dang if it doesn't have once of the best hook lines I've ever read;

GLIDE, Ore. -- Aaron Wyckoff didn't start to panic until his .45-caliber pistol quit firing, and the bear kept chewing on his arm. (http://www.seattlepi.com/local/366777_bearhunt13.html?source=rss)
:shocked2:

CR

Louis VI the Fat

07-10-2009, 22:43

Aaron Wyckoff didn't start to panic until his .45-caliber pistol quit firing, and the bear kept chewing on his arm.

So, he recalls, he tried to pull the bear's jaws apart. Then he tried to roll down the ridge where he and the bear were wrestling. But the bear grabbed his calf, pulled him back and went for his groin.
Wyckoff said he countered by shoving his pistol and his hand into the bear's mouth. But by then, the struggle in the Cascade Range in Southern Oregon attracted the attention of Wyckoff's party, and other hunters rushed over.

Justin Norton fired a round from his .44-caliber pistol into the black bear's stomach, to no avail. He approached the bear, put the gun behind its ear and fired again. It finally rolled away. "I walked right up to his head, and he didn't even look at me," said Norton, 26. With the dying bear still struggling, a final round finished him off.

"He was dead. He just didn't know it," Wyckoff said. "It was just all adrenaline."Wow, I've read entire books that didn't contain as many gems as this article. Genius.

And give us a link, Frag, love. A two-line recapatitulation of an article you just read may make sense to you, but to us..sometimes not so much. It's like giving away the punchline without the rest of the joke. It doesn't do a good story justice.

Compare 'Man in Oregon attacked by bear. His friends shoot bear', with the carefully crafted work of literature quoted above.

Fragony

07-11-2009, 09:55

A major scientific breakthrough, and who said science is the realm of the east/west. Ladies and gentlemen, good news.

http://www.weaselzippers.net/blog/2009/07/saudi-researcher-claims-camel-piss-can-cure-cancer-just-like-the-prophet-mohammed-said-.html

//waits for Gregoshi

Banquo's Ghost

07-11-2009, 15:40

I guess they rubbed him up the wrong way (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/8145862.stm).

Lemur

07-11-2009, 18:07

I guess they rubbed him up the wrong way (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/8145862.stm).
They should be glad they're just dealing with a genie. Could have been the popobawa (http://www.hecklerspray.com/awesome-or-off-putting-popobawa-the-politically-charged-man-raping-winged-monster/200813578.php).

Hosakawa Tito

07-11-2009, 18:13

Amityville Horror Saudi style. You won't see me starring in any possessed house horror film. When disembodied voices tell me to get out....I'm outta there end of story, movie's over.:laugh4:

Pannonian

07-13-2009, 06:38

Amityville Horror Saudi style. You won't see me starring in any possessed house horror film. When disembodied voices tell me to get out....I'm outta there end of story, movie's over.:laugh4:
Get out! Get out! Get Ouuttt!!! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dawn_Summers)

CountArach

07-13-2009, 12:34

I can't think of any puns better than this title... Students to Teacher: Thanks for the Mammories (http://www.spike.com/blog/teacher-gives/83501) (Link probably isn't safe for work):

A California teacher sent her fifth grade students home for the summer with a DVD that was supposed to contain beautiful memories, and oh boy did the kids get just that.

Crystal Defanti, a 29-year-old fifth grade teacher at Isabelle Jackson Elementary School, is in trouble for sending her students home with DVD that contained special moments from her class and part of a sex tape. The DVD contained six seconds of Ms. Defanti pleasuring herself on a couch. The tape literally jumped from a group of 10- and 11 year-olds talking about their favorite grade five memories to their teacher moaning and rubbing herself.

As expected, parents are fuming. "It goes from my son, straight to her on the couch," recalled one parent who wished to remain anonymous. "My son's reaction was, 'Dad, is that Ms. Defanti?'" It certainly was. The dad then had to sit down and explain the birds and bees to his distressed son.

An embarrassed Ms. Defanti apologized and called every parent to explain the mishap and asked them to destroy the DVD. The well-regarded teacher is unlikely to loose her job at the school, though she is expected to be reprimanded and embarrassed for the rest of her life.

Fragony

07-13-2009, 14:53

nvm

Pannonian

07-14-2009, 00:15

Hooahguy

07-14-2009, 00:23

InsaneApache

07-14-2009, 00:30

Sounds more like a Bay of Squids to me than a real invasion. Maybe a recon in force? :inquisitive:

Crazed Rabbit

07-14-2009, 01:46

Bull Elephants are coming to Denver: (http://www.westword.com/2009-07-09/news/caution-a-herd-of-bull-elephants-is-coming-to-the-denver-zoo/)

The foul-smelling secretions are a harbinger of a very special time in a male elephant's life, a time worthy of its own young-adult novel, something with a title like Are You There, God? It's Me, Ranchipur. Known as musth, this period can last anywhere from a few days to several months and is characterized by elevated hormone levels, heightened sexual interest and aggressive activity.

Basically, it's like middle school — with 12,000-pound students.

"They're pretty much interested in two things," says Dale Leeds, the curator of large mammals at the Denver Zoo, who's worked with elephants for more than twenty years. "They both begin with F. One is fighting."

More weird elephant facts you never wondered about and don't want to know are in the article.

Also, an IndyCar driver signs a topless fan's boobs (http://www.yesbutnobutyes.com/archives/2009/07/danica_patrick.html). Warning! Probably not safe for work.

CR

Louis VI the Fat

07-14-2009, 05:31

Also, an IndyCar driver signs a topless fan's boobs (http://www.yesbutnobutyes.com/archives/2009/07/danica_patrick.html). Warning! Probably not safe for work.

CRWhoa, those are some truly enormous tits!

That poor woman...
I don't think she herself enjoys these huge hooters. I mean, for me it's just a quick laugh. She, on the other hand, has to deal with it for the rest of her life. :shame:

Ah well. And there I was, thinking IndyCar was a big bust. Props to this guy for bringing some funbag to racing.

Vladimir

07-14-2009, 12:52

The invasion has begun (http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/local/Dazed-Giant-Sea-Creatures-Wash-Up-Minutes-After-Quake--.html?yhp=1), under the cover of a nearby earthquake. Brave passers-by were repelling them on the beaches and throwing them back into the sea.

It didn’t take long for the seagulls to swoop in and start feeding on the squid, so beachgoers ran to the rescue and tried frantically to save them by throwing them back in the water. That proved to be a difficult task for several reasons: they were extremely heavy, very slippery, and when the good Samaritans did manage to get them back them in water, the squid didn’t know which way to go and kept washing back up on shore.

You see, environmentalist do-gooders are idiots. Here, our savior, the seagull, once again came to our defense yet these fools were throwing the squid back so they can reproduce and continue to plot our destruction. The true enemy comes from within.

Lemur

07-14-2009, 14:36

Gay penguins split up over affair with a female (http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2009/07/12/Same-sex-penguin-couple-split/UPI-56931247417354/)

Linda the penguin has split up two male penguins who lived as a nesting couple for six years at the San Francisco Zoo, caretakers said.

Male penguins Harry and Pepper had been so content together they were allowed to incubate and hatch an egg laid by another Magellanic penguin last year, zookeeper Anthony Brown said.

"Of all of the parents that year, they were the best. They took very good care of their chick," Brown told the San Francisco Examiner in a story published Saturday.

Enter the widow Linda, who began courting Harry in her partner's old burrow shortly after his death this past winter, Brown said.

"To be completely anthropomorphizing, Linda seems conniving," Brown said. "She's got her plan. I don't think she was wanting to be a single girl for too long."

naut

07-14-2009, 15:33

Wedding Disaster. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/8149910.stm)

The traditional throwing of a bride's bouquet for luck ended in disaster at an Italian wedding when the flowers caused a plane to crash.

The bride and groom had hired a small plane to fly past and throw the bouquet to a line of women guests, Corriere della Sera reported.

However, the flowers were sucked into the plane's engine causing it to catch fire and explode.

The aircraft plunged into a hostel. One passenger on the plane was badly hurt.

But about 50 people who had been in the hostel escaped unscathed, as did the pilot.

CountArach

07-14-2009, 15:52

The plane will be married soon.

Lemur

07-15-2009, 05:34

A concise history of Pablo Escobar's cocaine hippos. (http://articles.latimes.com/2006/dec/20/world/fg-hippos20)

||Lz3||

07-15-2009, 07:11

I feel sad for the hippos...

But how could they move an elephant and NOT a hippo!

Vladimir

07-15-2009, 13:10

Man-eating war machines. (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,532492,00.html)

CountArach

07-15-2009, 13:58

A gun that shoots alcohol (http://www.gizmodo.com.au/2009/07/alcohol-shot-gun-sprays-slippery-nipples-in-your-mouth/) released in Australia. More info (http://www.latestbuy.com.au/alcohol-drink-shooter.html):

The Alcohol Shot Gun, as its name suggests, will shoot a shot of your favourite drop straight into your mouth, without touching the sides! (That's assuming you've got your aim right, of course.)

Just load up the Alcohol Shot Gun, it takes 1 and a half fluid ounces (41 millilitres), open your mouth, aim the front of the gun and pull the trigger. Then it's boom! Bourbon bulleting into your mouth, rum ricocheting off your tongue, whiskey whizzing down your throat or even just plain old cola hitting the spot!

Naturally, Latest Buy does not condone binge drinking or the excessive consumption of alcohol – we most definitely encourage responsible drinking - it's just the rather irreverent delivery method we recommend.

Vladimir

07-15-2009, 15:23

That's right up there with candy cigarettes.

No, strike that. Combining alcohol with firearms. Literally.

Ronin

07-15-2009, 15:58

drone

07-15-2009, 16:31

A gun that shoots alcohol (http://www.gizmodo.com.au/2009/07/alcohol-shot-gun-sprays-slippery-nipples-in-your-mouth/) released in Australia.

Sounds like fun. All you need is some Bacardi 151 and a lighter. :yes:

Vladimir

07-15-2009, 16:41

Black balls save... (http://www.2leep.com/news/277/1/)

Husar

07-15-2009, 17:18

Black balls save... (http://www.2leep.com/news/277/1/)

That was on the big picture blog about a year ago or so. Turns out that's coincides with the date of the article, heh. Looks interesting nonetheless.

Hosakawa Tito

07-16-2009, 00:45

Who dares wins....sometimes. (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/othersports/sailing/5772018/Yacht-left-high-and-dry-in-boat-race.html)

InsaneApache

07-16-2009, 02:01

You know you have to pack in the fags when....

A man in the United States popped out to his local petrol station to buy a pack of cigarettes - only to find his card charged $23,148,855,308,184,500.

That is $23 quadrillion (£14 quadrillion) - many times the US national debt.

"I thought somebody had bought Europe with my credit card," said Josh Muszynski, from New Hampshire.

He says his appeals to his bank first met with little understanding, though it eventually corrected the error.

It also waived the usual $15 overdraft fee.

"It was all back to normal," Mr Muszynski told his local television station, WMUR. "They reversed the negative balance fee, which was nice."

Debt crisis

His nightmare began when he checked his online bank account a few hours after buying the cigarettes.

He thought he would be a couple of hundred dollars in the black. But his overdraft had pushed him into the red - by an amount equivalent to many times the entire US national debt.

"It is a lot of money in the negative," he said. "Something I could never, ever, afford to pay back.

The 17-digit amount on his online bill shocked Mr Muszynski

"My children could not afford it, grandchildren, nothing like that."

In panic, Mr Muszynski rushed back to the petrol station, but they were unable to help. He says he then spent two hours on the phone with the Bank of America.

Eventually, it assured him it would be fixed - and the next morning, it had been.

But no-one has yet explained to Mr Muszynski how such a astonishing error could have been made.

Stick that in your pipe and smoke it! :laugh4:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/8152278.stm

Fragony

07-17-2009, 15:43

sowutehellissut. http://www.dumpert.nl/mediabase/572031/2cb7beac/de_blob_in_alaska.html

dear god whatever

Crazed Rabbit

07-17-2009, 19:34

Che, Steven Soderbergh's movie (http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2009/jul/14/steven-soderbergh) about the killer communist revolutionary, is itself killed;

But it wasn't a resounding smash at the box office, grossing about $30m worldwide. Soderbergh blames piracy ("We got crushed in South America. We came out in Spain in September of last year and it was everywhere within a matter of days. It killed it.") but it probably didn't help that his film is a foreign-language marathon with an admittedly distant and impersonal lead.

By communism!*

And police offenses! This time, only against good taste. (http://www.thesunnews.com/news/local/story/982603.html)

After two area police officers were seen drinking and exposing their buttocks to families, Horry County Police Chief Johnny Morgan said he has "suggested" to his officers that they avoid attending events at The Boathouse Waterway Bar and Grill.

CR
*Maybe not exactly.

miotas

07-18-2009, 02:35

sowutehellissut. http://www.dumpert.nl/mediabase/572031/2cb7beac/de_blob_in_alaska.html

dear god whatever

Oceanic skidmarks... :juggle2: :oops:

Banquo's Ghost

07-18-2009, 14:43

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that someone - perhaps even the Italian Mafia (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/07/18/mafia_stalks_beverly_hills_man/) - isn't out to get you.

Lemur

07-18-2009, 15:51

Best press release of all time: Our robots do not feed on dead humans (http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2009/07/company-denies-its-robots-feed-on-the-dead/)

In response to rumors circulating the internet on sites such as FoxNews.com, FastCompany.com and CNET News about a “flesh eating” robot project, Cyclone Power Technologies Inc. (Pink Sheets:CYPW) and Robotic Technology Inc. (RTI) would like to set the record straight [...]

We completely understand the public’s concern about futuristic robots feeding on the human population, but that is not our mission,” stated Harry Schoell, Cyclone’s CEO. “We are focused on demonstrating that our engines can create usable, green power from plentiful, renewable plant matter. The commercial applications alone for this earth-friendly energy solution are enormous."

Lemur

07-18-2009, 16:26

Chick with giant wiener smashes into Wisconsin house (http://www.wtop.com/?nid=104&sid=1720285)

One southern Wisconsin homeowner is probably not in love with the Oscar Mayer wiener.

The famed hot dog's Wienermobile crashed Friday into the deck and garage of a home in Mount Pleasant, about 35 miles south of Milwaukee.

Police say the driver was trying to turn the Wienermobile around in the driveway and thought she was moving in reverse. But she instead went forward and hit the home. It sat in the driveway as if it were stuck in the garage Friday afternoon.

Hosakawa Tito

07-18-2009, 22:29

Smile Ambassadors. (http://www.gnn.com/article/parisians-urged-to-smile-for-tourists/570852?icid=sphere_wpcom_inline) :laugh4:

miotas

07-19-2009, 02:51

Smile Louis you miserable bugger. :grin:

Louis VI the Fat

07-19-2009, 05:46

Smile Ambassadors. (http://www.gnn.com/article/parisians-urged-to-smile-for-tourists/570852?icid=sphere_wpcom_inline):beam: Mais, bien sûr! :beam:

:beam:Move:beam:out:beam:of:beam:the:beam:way :beam:you:beam:knuckle-dragging:beam:peasant:beam:I:beam:am:beam:trying :beam:to:beam:get:beam:to:beam:work:beam:bugger :beam:off:beam:back:beam:to:beam:your:beam:cave :beam:

~~-~~-~~<<https://img113.imageshack.us/img113/8135/parisien.gif (https://img113.imageshack.us/i/parisien.gif/)>>~~-~~-~~

FactionHeir

07-20-2009, 01:05

The ambassadors of the octo-squids are nigh! (http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/asiapcf/07/19/japan.jellyfish/index.html)

Crazed Rabbit

07-20-2009, 01:42

Boston College Police Seize Student's Computer Because he knows Linux. (http://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2009/04/boston-college-prompt-commands-are-suspicious)

On Friday, EFF and the law firm of Fish and Richardson filed an emergency motion to quash [pdf] and for the return of seized property on behalf of a Boston College computer science student whose computers, cell phone, and other property were seized as part of an investigation into who sent an e-mail to a school mailing list identifying another student as gay. The problem? Not only is there no indication that any crime was committed, the investigating officer argued that the computer expertise of the student itself supported a finding of probable cause to seize the student's property.

My goodness, what stupidity.

Luckily a state court slapped them silly. (http://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2009/05/mass-sjc-tosses-calixte-warrant)

CR

Lemur

07-20-2009, 05:16

The ambassadors of the octo-squids are nigh! (http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/asiapcf/07/19/japan.jellyfish/index.html)
Ahem. (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showpost.php?p=2277135&postcount=3778)

Meanwhile, former Marine kills bear by throwing a log. (http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=3306263)

Which for no obvious reason reminds me of this Onion video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1cgHEWG-BA). Pardon me if I'm random, it's been a long day.

-edit-

Oh, and Canadians should sue for not receiving their fair share of gravity (http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn11826-satellites-solve-mystery-of-low-gravity-over-canada.html).

FactionHeir

07-20-2009, 09:10

And the Lemurs (and associated diseases) too indeed :grin:

miotas

07-20-2009, 12:40

A few from about a year ago, not sure if they've been on before.

Surgeons cut 16 washers from penis (http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/surgeons-cut-16-washers-from-penis/story-e6freuy9-1111116503767)
A MAN was operated on in Hornsby Hospital early today to remove 16 stainless steel washers from his penis.

Berowra Fire Rescue officers were called to alleviate the man from his awkward predicament at 3am.

It was not clear how the situation arose.

The man may well have thought long and hard about placing himself in the difficult situation.

Fire Rescue Officers spent more than an hour unsuccessfully attempting to remove the washers, before the man was taken into an operating theatre about 4.30am.

Surgeons took about 90 minutes to remove the washers using fire brigade equipment.

A hospital spokesman said equipment normally used to remove rings from fingers was ineffective because of the thicker nature of the washers.

The man was in a satisfactory condition.
There's a homocidal russian woman out there wielding a couch (http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,23997581-13762,00.html)
St Petersburg's Channel Five said the man's wife, upset with her husband for being drunk and refusing to get up, kicked a handle after an argument, activating a mechanism that folds the couch up against a wall.

The couch, which doubles as a bed, folds up automatically in order to save space.

The man fell between the mattress and the back of the couch, Channel Five quoted emergency workers as saying.

The woman then walked out of the room and returned three hours later to check on what she thought was an unusually quiet sleeping husband.
Beware killer mics (http://www.earthtimes.org/articles/show/198000,karaoke-microphone-kills-catholic-priest-in-philippines.html)
Father Roberto del Rosario had just finished swimming in the sea and was dripping wet Monday when he took the microphone of a karaoke machine in a resort in Morong town in Bataan province, 90 kilometres north-west of Manila.

The victim's companions said they saw him trembling as he held the microphone.

Centurion1

07-21-2009, 17:08

Meanwhile, former Marine kills bear by throwing a log.

What a hoss. That man is my hero and i believe he could have taken the bear down hand to hand

Viking

07-22-2009, 18:16

One of the most scary robbers I've seen. :2thumbsup:

https://img34.imageshack.us/img34/2945/img650x367f.jpg

Symbolic link (http://www.nrk.no/nyheter/distrikt/rogaland/nord-jaeren/1.6705214)

Hosakawa Tito

07-22-2009, 23:37

Mystery meat. (http://www.thanhniennews.com/healthy/?catid=8&newsid=50775) An Australian company actually amassed 1.5 tons of goat penises. Er... bone appetit

Praying to the Doo Doo God. (http://www.kbtx.com/home/headlines/50898657.html?pollSubmit=y&submit=submit&oid=3&mr=1&cid=6500&pid=50934047)
Hah, if that's the Virgin Mary then I've got the Last Supper splattered on my car.

naut

07-23-2009, 02:04

Praying to the Doo Doo God. (http://www.kbtx.com/home/headlines/50898657.html?pollSubmit=y&submit=submit&oid=3&mr=1&cid=6500&pid=50934047)
Hah, if that's the Virgin Mary then I've got the Last Supper splattered on my car.
:laugh4: Looks like rust to me. :laugh4:

Samurai Waki

07-23-2009, 06:45

Well, the Lord seems to have gone from working in mysterious ways, too working in psychotic ways.

Vladimir

07-23-2009, 14:10

Mystery meat. (http://www.thanhniennews.com/healthy/?catid=8&newsid=50775) An Australian company actually amassed 1.5 tons of goat penises. Er... bone appetit

Great. Another story from Vietnam about the dong.

Hosakawa Tito

07-23-2009, 15:52

Great. Another story from Vietnam about the dong.

You mean the Viet Dong? Those commies are inscrotumable. :inquisitive:

Lemur

07-23-2009, 16:21

Mystery meat. (http://www.thanhniennews.com/healthy/?catid=8&newsid=50775) An Australian company actually amassed 1.5 tons of goat penises. Er... bone appetit
That's a hairy situation they've gotten themselves into. They really got the shaft, eh?

Vladimir

07-23-2009, 16:42

I wish I had that picture of, delicacies, Soly posted so long ago.

Viking

07-24-2009, 21:48

Naked girls plow fields for rain

PATNA, India (Reuters) - Farmers in an eastern Indian state have asked their unmarried daughters to plow parched fields naked in a bid to embarrass the weather gods to bring some badly needed monsoon rain, officials said on Thursday.
Witnesses said the naked girls in Bihar state plowed the fields and chanted ancient hymns after sunset to invoke the gods. They said elderly village women helped the girls drag the plows.

http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSTRE56M3G020090723?sp=true

Oaty

07-25-2009, 00:38

Naked girls plow fields for rain

That doesn't belong here. That's a backroom video topic .......... with video of course

Hosakawa Tito

07-25-2009, 01:10

The best name for a Funeral Home (http://www.amigonefuneralhome.com/) ever. This guy is a marketing genius.

Lemur

07-25-2009, 04:38

The best name for a Funeral Home (http://www.amigonefuneralhome.com/) ever.
I dunno, I was pretty amused by the Guido Funeral Home (http://guidofuneralhome.onyellowpages.com/) in Brooklyn, which happened to be smack dab in the middle of a Cosa Nostra-tolerant Italian neighborhood.

miotas

07-25-2009, 15:33

Naked girls plow fields for rain

http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSTRE56M3G020090723?sp=true

Well. If they dont get rain then I can think we can be pretty certin they gods are gay :laugh4:

I dunno, I was pretty amused by the Guido Funeral Home (http://guidofuneralhome.onyellowpages.com/) in Brooklyn, which happened to be smack dab in the middle of a Cosa Nostra-tolerant Italian neighborhood.

Awwwww. You had me thinking that guido hatzis had opened a funeral home ::oops:

Beskar

07-26-2009, 01:07

I am sorry if this got reposted -

Snake bursts after gobbling gator
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/4313978.stm

An unusual clash between a 6-foot (1.8m) alligator and a 13-foot (3.9m) python has left two of the deadliest predators dead in Florida's swamps.
The Burmese python tried to swallow its fearsome rival whole but then exploded.

naut

07-26-2009, 08:43

James May to build house out of LEGO and live in it for several days. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/surrey/8168892.stm)

The house will be life-size with a staircase, toilet and shower, and May said once it was completed he intended to live in it for a few days.

Appeal for bricks

He said although the house would be temporary, there had still been various "planning hoops" to leap through.

Two months ago James May built a garden out of plasticine

"I've got a man working on a flushing Lego lavatory. We think it's possible.

"Things like power supply, sanitation and plumbing coming into the house are as they could be for a real building... everything within my Lego house must as far as possible be Lego," he said.

May said although he already had thousands of Lego bricks, he could not be sure there would be enough.

Vladimir

07-27-2009, 14:45

James May to build house out of LEGO and live in it for several days. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/surrey/8168892.stm)

So, how long will it take CPT Slow to build it? :laugh4:

Vladimir

07-27-2009, 15:28

Naked (http://74.125.127.132/translate_c?hl=en&u=http://www.elpais.com.uy/090727/ultmo-432163/ultimomomento/un-transexual-se-desnuda-y-agrede-a-un-cura-durante-la-misa&rurl=translate.google.com&usg=ALkJrhi0iWbUgLLco6x8Fqko4M6_AjPPOw) aggression against the Church.

Now, was the person a Brazilian or did they *have* a Brazilian?

Hosakawa Tito

07-27-2009, 23:37

Don't mess with little old ladies from Texas. (http://www.beaumontenterprise.com/news/local/elderly_woman_chases_robber_from_home_with_raid.html) Something tells me his CRIP gang membership has been revoked.

Exorcism Chattanooga style. (http://tennessean.com/article/20090717/NEWS03/90717043/Police++Nurse+shot+ex-husband+in+groin+to+release++demons++) The devil made me do it.

Lemur

07-28-2009, 00:21

Woman kills her own baby, eats its brain. (http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2009-07-27-baby-killed_N.htm) Are they absolutely, positively sure she isn't a zombie?

San Antonio police say a woman accused of beheading her 3-week-old infant son used a knife and two swords in the attack and ate some of the child's body parts.

San Antonio Police Chief William McManus told reporters Monday that Otty Sanchez's attack on her son, Scott Wesley Buchholtz-Sanchez, was "too heinous" to fully discuss.

But he says Sanchez ate part of the newborn's brain and bit off three of his toes before stabbing herself twice.

Police say the 33-year-old Sanchez told officers who were called to her house early Sunday that she killed her son at the devil's request.

Hosakawa Tito

07-28-2009, 00:58

Lemur caught red handed. (http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/latestnews/stories/DN-monkey_21met.ART.State.Edition1.4bc51ac.html) I think they're on to us Lem.:laugh4:

InsaneApache

07-28-2009, 04:23

Bruno gets death threats.....

Sacha Baron Cohen has stepped up his security after being threatened by a militant Palestinian group angered at its portrayal in the film Brüno.

The al-Aqsa Martyrs’ Brigades, a coalition of Palestinian militias in the West Bank, said in a statement released to a Jerusalem-based journalist that it was “very upset” that it featured in the film starring Baron Cohen’s homosexual fashionista alter ego.

“We reserve the right to respond in the way we find suitable against this man,” it said. “The movie was part of a conspiracy against the al-Aqsa Martyrs’ Brigades.”

The London-born comic is taking the threat seriously and has improved security for himself and his family in preparation for violent reprisals.

The group is alleged to be responsible for dozens of suicide bombings and shootings. It has been designated as a terrorist organisation by the European Union and the United States. Baron Cohen’s Austrian character ridicules the Martyrs’ Brigades when he attempts to get himself kidnapped during a meeting with Ayman Abu Aita, who is identified in the film as the leader of the organisation.

His character is shown telling Mr Abu Aita: “I want to be famous. I want the best guys in the business to kidnap me. Al-Qaeda is so 2001.” Brüno then suggests that Mr Abu Aita remove his moustache, explaining: “Because your king Osama looks like a kind of dirty wizard or homeless Santa.”

The group condemned the use of the interview with Mr Abu Aita. “This was a dirty use of our brother, Ayman, and we don’t accept that the al-Aqsa Martyrs’ Brigades is part of the film,” the statement said.

Mr Abu Aita claims that he was tricked into appearing in the film and that he is no longer involved with the Martyrs’ Brigades. He has threatened to sue Baron Cohen. “This man, I think he is not a man,” Mr Abu Aita said. “He is not saying the truth about me. He lied.”

Mr Abu Aita’s lawyer, Hatem Abu Ahmad, said that he is preparing a legal action against Baron Cohen and Universal Studios alleging that the Martyrs’ Brigade reference could get his client in trouble with the Israelis and the homosexual association could get him killed by the Palestinians.

Mr Abu Ahmad said: “This joke is very dangerous. We are not in the United States, we are not in Europe, we are in the Middle East and the world operates differently here.” Aaron Klein, the WorldNet reporter who received the statement from the Martyrs’ Brigades, said: “These are terrorists. They are against feminism, gay rights and abortion. Once I asked them what would they do if they found out one of their members was a homosexual. They said they would cut off his head.”

Baron Cohen also angered Orthodox Jews during the filming of Brüno in Jerusalem when he nearly provoked a riot as he strutted down the street in a sexed-up Hasidic outfit with skintight shorts.

Brünoisms

“Look at the evil people in the world — Saddam Hussein, Hitler, Stalin — what do they all have in common? Moustaches”

“Is it a coincidence that all the good people have long hair, like Jesus, and like hippies and, you know, Rod Stewart”

“Vassup! Being gay is the new coolest thing, so that’s why I’ve come to the gayest part of America — Alabama”

“How cool is Jesus? Is He cooler than the Backstreet Boys?”

“The rise of club music, the fall of apartheid — coincidence or not?"

http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/film/article6729022.ece

Talk about taking the piss! Funny as hell. :laugh4:

Banquo's Ghost

07-28-2009, 07:27

Don't mess with little old ladies from Texas. (http://www.beaumontenterprise.com/news/local/elderly_woman_chases_robber_from_home_with_raid.html) Something tells me his CRIP gang membership has been revoked.

Interestingly, an English name for a wasp is a jasper, so in that town, a can of Raid is exactly the right response. :book:

Fragony

07-28-2009, 09:20

English granny's are no pushover either https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-ogrMr4lWc

Husar

07-28-2009, 10:59

Bruno gets death threats.....

http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/film/article6729022.ece

Talk about taking the piss! Funny as hell. :laugh4:

Well, I must say I don't find it all that weird, he is pretty much playing with fire there...

CountArach

07-28-2009, 12:59

Lemur caught red handed. (http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/latestnews/stories/DN-monkey_21met.ART.State.Edition1.4bc51ac.html) I think they're on to us Lem.:laugh4:
So that's what Bubbles has turned to.

Hosakawa Tito

07-29-2009, 01:13

Youth employment program. (http://www.projo.com/news/content/teen_dancers_07-21-09_Q6F39ID_v80.3985e27.html) Top that Las Vegas.

Samurai Waki

07-29-2009, 20:49

It seems our feline friends are beginning to make use of the transportation system (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/devon/8174850.stm)

Lemur

07-30-2009, 04:56

When a man and a horse are in love (http://www.mercurynews.com/california/ci_12942042), why has everybody got to be so mean about it?

A South Carolina man was charged with having sex with a horse after the animal's owner caught the act on videotape, then staked out the stable and caught him at shotgun point, authorities said Wednesday.

But this wasn't the first time Rodell Vereen has been charged with buggery. He pleaded guilty last year to having sex with the same horse after owner Barbara Kenley found him in the same stable and was sentenced to probation and placed on the state's sex offender list.

Kenley said she noticed several weeks ago her 21-year-old horse Sugar was acting strange and getting infections again. She noticed things in the barn had been moved around — dirt piled up and bales of hay stacked near the horse's stall at her Lazy B Stables in Longs. [...]

Marshal Murat

07-30-2009, 05:03

EU creates economic growth in Germany (http://www.spiegel.de/international/germany/0,1518,638494,00.html)

Hardware stores and home-improvement chains in Germany are seeing massive increases in the sales of the traditional bulbs. Obi reports a 27 percent growth in sales over the same period a year ago. Hornbach has seen its frosted-glass light bulb sales increase by 40-112 percent. When it comes to 100-watt bulbs, Max Bahr has seen an 80 percent jump in sales, while the figure has been 150 percent for its competitor Praktiker.

I can't see any recession. We're in the black over here in Germany.

Lemur

08-02-2009, 06:24

The danger of triple-timing women in Wisconsin (http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Weekend/story?id=8229825&page=1)

An unidentified married Wisconsin man who was dating three women at the same time found out the hard way that it can only mean trouble.

After finding out that the same Casanova had been courting them all simultaneously, Michelle Belliveau, Wendy Sewell and Therese Ziemann allegedly lured the man to a local motel room to seek revenge.

Police say Ziemann kicked off the plan, convincing the man to voluntarily agree to be bound and blindfolded with the promise of a massage.

But instead, police say, she cut off his underwear and sent a text message to the other women to enter the room.

When the women came into the room, they allegedly attacked him and applied Krazy Glue to sensitive body parts. [...]

So, how did the trio find out about each other? Police say it was the man's wife who informed them of the love quad.

Lemur

08-02-2009, 15:57

150 sick, 34 hospitalized by perfume (http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/ap/tx/6553436.html)

FORT WORTH, Texas — At first, fire officials suspected that carbon monoxide or some other poisonous fumes might have sickened almost 150 people at a Fort Worth bank call center.

What they learned was they were fallen by perfume. [...] Fort Worth fire Lt. Kent Worley says hazardous material specialists checked for carbon monoxide or other hazardous fumes, but found nothing.

A worker told a fire investigator that two co-workers became ill after someone sprayed on perfume. When a supervisor announced on the office intercom that those feeling ill should leave, dozens did — including some from other floors.

Hosakawa Tito

08-03-2009, 23:35

Love in 2-D. (http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/26/magazine/26FOB-2DLove-t.html?_r=2&scp=1&sq=lisa%20katayama&st=cse) :stunned:

For the dog that has everything. (http://www.dogmagazine.net/archives/3388/new-sex-doll-for-dogs-hits-the-market/)

Lemur

08-07-2009, 23:09

I'm not a pedophile pervert. My cat, on the other hand ... (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/08/07/man_blames_cat/)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/158876950_9f8688e9aa.jpg

A Florida man accused of downloading more than 1,000 images of child pornography is blaming the offense on his cat, according to published reports.

Keith Griffin of Jensen Beach is charged with 10 counts of child porn possession after detectives found the images on his home computer, the Associated Press reports.

Investigators say Griffin told them his cat jumped onto his computer keyboard while he was downloading music. After returning to his machine following a brief trip to another room, he found "strange things" had happened to the machine. He said his cat frequently hopped on the keyboard when the PC was left on.

The 48-year-old is being held on $250,000 bond in the Martin County jail. It is unclear if the cat was neutered.

drone

08-08-2009, 02:49

Fragony

08-08-2009, 08:41

Beaten to it!

Hosakawa Tito

08-08-2009, 11:37

Nanny State gone mad. (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/othersports/swimming/5933400/Swimmers-ordered-to-do-widths-not-lengths-for-health-and-safety-reasons.html)

Every day is safety day. (http://www.thisisderbyshire.co.uk/news/Shopper-28-asked-prove-age-buy-pizza-wheel/article-1195189-detail/article.html)

Where are you Monty.

miotas

08-08-2009, 11:48

Every day is safety day. (http://www.thisisderbyshire.co.uk/news/Shopper-28-asked-prove-age-buy-pizza-wheel/article-1195189-detail/article.html)

Hey that's no laughing matter, pizza cutters are a scourge on society http://www.rugbytoday.co.uk/news/Man-attacked-with-pizza-cutter.5037378.jp

Gregoshi

08-08-2009, 16:37

I can haz kiddie kitty pr0n plz?
Fixed.

Lemur

08-09-2009, 00:31

Nanny State gone mad. (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/othersports/swimming/5933400/Swimmers-ordered-to-do-widths-not-lengths-for-health-and-safety-reasons.html)
Hmm, reading the article it only sounds medium-bad. The swimmers are forced to do 25 meter laps instead of 33 meter laps. Still a goodly distance.

Gregoshi

08-09-2009, 07:55

The swimmers are forced to do 25 meter laps instead of 33 meter laps. Still a goodly distance.
It's not the length of the lap but how you use it. (And I won't go any further down this path)

InsaneApache

08-09-2009, 08:23

miotas

08-09-2009, 11:25

Hmm... How do I save money in the current global climate :idea2:

Samurai Waki

08-09-2009, 18:01

Hmm... How do I save money in the current global climate :idea2:

Put your money in a Savings Account, and don't touch it. :laugh4:

miotas

08-09-2009, 18:59

Oooor, get some free snake feed... :yes:

Lemur

08-10-2009, 05:24

Pigeon v. turtle.

https://img27.imageshack.us/img27/9774/murderturtle.gif

Vladimir

08-10-2009, 14:03

In the latest dead baby news...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8191023.stm

Lemur

08-10-2009, 20:29

Thirsty camels threaten Ausrtalian bathrooms. Solution? Shoot them from helicopters. (http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/World-News/Camels-Will-Be-Shot-From-Helicopters-in-Australia-After-Thousands-Wreak-Havoc-Across-The-Country/Article/200908215357105?f=rss) (Nobody tell Martok.)

Marksmen plan to gun the animals down amid concern the thirsty dromedaries are barging into people's homes and ripping up their bathrooms looking for water. [...]

On a number of occasions they have scared residents - tearing apart bathrooms and ripping up water pipes.

Last month, the federal government set aside £9.5m for the cull.

Besides sending in sharpshooters in helicopters and on foot, officials are planning to turn many of the creatures into camel burgers and other treats.

Hosakawa Tito

08-11-2009, 02:40

No hard feelings. (http://minnesota.publicradio.org/display/web/2009/08/03/bridge-contracts/?refid=0)

woad&fangs

08-11-2009, 03:50

camels camels camels etc.

In similar news... World's first camel-milk chocolates going global (http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSTRE56K4YZ20090721)

seireikhaan

08-11-2009, 04:40

In similar news... World's first camel-milk chocolates going global (http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSTRE56K4YZ20090721)
:inquisitive:

:jawdrop:

Fragony

08-13-2009, 09:36

Is that an alligator on your shoulders or are you..... hmmmmmm no way to make this catchy.

http://blog.taragana.com/n/man-arrested-after-riding-bicycle-with-3-foot-long-alligator-on-his-shoulders-138073/

Banquo's Ghost

08-13-2009, 12:47

He got off lightly, IMO. Darling, you just don't wear Crocs on your shoulders.

Vladimir

08-13-2009, 13:04

I read a different but similar article that crocs are endangered (http://www.bloggingstocks.com/2009/07/17/the-decline-and-fall-of-crocs/) due to their long lifespan.

Fragony

08-13-2009, 13:33

In case you have never been to Moscow, taking the subway is a horrible experience, they are dogs I tell you.

http://englishrussia.com/?p=2462

Vladimir

08-13-2009, 14:51

Next we'll see a K-9 Orthodox church where they worship Pavlov's dog (and half of the congregation works as "seeing eye dogs" to the state).

Hosakawa Tito

08-13-2009, 23:26

He got off lightly, IMO. Darling, you just don't wear Crocs on your shoulders.

Yoes said he didn’t know where Ingram got the gator or what he had planned to do with it.

He's in the Louisianna swamps and didn't know where he got the gator??? does not compute. Obviously he was on his way home to cook up some Cajun gator gumbo.

PBI

08-14-2009, 03:03

Triffids discovered in Philippines (http://news.bbc.co.uk/earth/hi/earth_news/newsid_8195000/8195029.stm)

A new species of giant carnivorous plant has been discovered in the highlands of the central Philippines.

The pitcher plant is among the largest of all pitchers and is so big that it can catch rats as well as insects in its leafy trap.

How long to go from eating rats to eating humans?

Rhyfelwyr

08-16-2009, 01:50

Beware the cucumber theif (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/6014931/Australian-police-baffled-by-spate-of-cucumber-thefts.html)...

Lemur

08-16-2009, 17:06

Cat awarded high school diploma. (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/08/15/cat_awarded_online_diploma/) Way to go, Oreo!

A cat belonging to a US and Canada Better Business Bureau exec has been granted a high school diploma.

Yes, it's an online high school. According to a report by msnbc.com, the two-year-old feline graduated from Jefferson High School Online (JHSO), an institution so confident in its pedagogical perfection that it offers a money-back guarantee.

Oreo is the cat's name, and she lives in Macon, Georgia. All Oreo needed to do to earn her ersatz sheepskin was answer 14 questions to determine her "elective and life experience credits" - including questions about her level of physical activity and her favorite musical genre - then take an online quiz, which she did with the help of her favorite human, Kelvin Collins, president and CEO of the Better Business Bureau of Central Georgia.

Oh, and there's the $199 fee.

Crazed Rabbit

08-16-2009, 17:46

I present to you, the Mayor of Kiev (http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/15/world/europe/15kiev.html?_r=2):

LEONID M. CHERNOVETSKY, this city’s unpredictable mayor, likes to answer his critics in his own special way.

When Parliament members said he was acting bizarrely and needed a psychiatric exam, he went to a stadium where he jogged for the cameras before yanking off his shirt and doing pull-ups. He swam laps and flexed his muscles like Charles Atlas. Then he held a news conference — in his tiny bathing suit.

“They are judging me today and want me to spend the rest of my life behind the bars of a psychiatric hospital,” Mr. Chernovetsky said. “Look at my body, at how I express my thoughts. I am absolutely healthy. I think logically and philosophically.”

And Wisconsin; they use drawbridges differently there. (http://www.jsonline.com/news/wisconsin/53222642.html)
https://img15.imageshack.us/img15/4994/mjscaronbridge.jpg

CR

Lemur

08-16-2009, 17:53

I present to you, the Mayor of Kiev (http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/15/world/europe/15kiev.html?_r=2):
Pics or it didn't happen ... oh, nevermind.

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/vertical1.jpg

I think I like this guy: "He interrupts meetings by warbling melancholy Soviet ballads, and even issued a CD on which he covers his favorites. 'Who sings better than me?' he asked. 'Nobody does, besides God.' "

Hosakawa Tito

08-16-2009, 22:38

He better exhale before he hurts himself.

Fragony

08-17-2009, 13:17

I knew it! http://obamaisliterallyhitler.tumblr.com/

Hosakawa Tito

08-17-2009, 16:01

Puts a whole nuther spin on the phrase, "taking her for a test ride". (http://www.kob.com/article/stories/S1082880.shtml?cat=500)

The real Captain Underpants. (http://www.floridatoday.com/article/20090809/NEWS01/908090319/1086/Woman+duped+by+middle-age+man+who+acted+like+a+child)

Fragony

08-17-2009, 16:08

You Americans really love your cars, sure he was intoxicated and not just out of gas?

Gregoshi

08-18-2009, 03:13

Puts a whole nuther spin on the phrase, "taking her for a test ride". (http://www.kob.com/article/stories/S1082880.shtml?cat=500)
Car dealers beware. Make sure the customer wants a car loan and not to be "alone with the car".

Hosakawa Tito

08-18-2009, 10:59

Crash for clunkers, redneck style. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tiMANhYUxnE) Better than NASCAR.

miotas

08-18-2009, 14:37

Ha ha! That's ******* awesome!
But why is it redneck style? That's something everyone can enjoy, it's basically super-fast forward paddock bashing.

Fragony

08-19-2009, 12:29

Well let's face it they look stupid.

http://www.enginelounge.com/2009/07/28/smart-fortwos-being-thrown-into-amsterdam-canal-for-fun/comment-page-1/

Vladimir

08-19-2009, 13:34

Way to go Captain slow (http://www.enginelounge.com/2009/07/28/james-may-dating-madison-welch/)!

Lemur

08-23-2009, 06:21

The gayest story ever told: Chihuahua stolen from Florida gay bar by man with Britney Spears tattoo (http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/broward/wilton-manors/sfl-dognapped-chihuahua-b082009,0,742869.story).

Hudson Hayward Hemingway, a nearly 4-month-old Chihuahua with pink earrings, has been dognapped, her owner says.

Brian Dortort [...] threw a birthday party for a friend at the bar that night, and was carrying the dog in a specialty pet bag, he said. One of the dog's admirers insisted he hold the dog and grabbed her, he said. Dotort didn't suspect the dog would be stolen, he said, so he briefly left the dog in the man's possession to pick up litter from a nearby table.

In an instant, the thief disappeared with Hudson, Dotort said.

The dog, about the size of a softball, is described as light-cream colored with a pink belly and pink ears. She has a pink earring in each ear. [...] Dortort described the thief as a thin man about 5 feet 10 inches tall. He weighs about 160 pounds, has short brown hair and tattoos, including one on his arm or neck that says " Britney Spears."

InsaneApache

08-23-2009, 19:21

Anyone want to buy a dog I found in a bar?

Gregoshi

08-24-2009, 01:34

Anyone want to buy a dog I found in a bar?
The paws that refreshes.

Hosakawa Tito

08-24-2009, 15:14

Rock Festival for real men. (http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574,25958698-23109,00.html)

Attempts to replace the stones with rubber balls in 2001 and 2002 failed as villagers refused to use them.

We don't need no stinking rubber balls!

Back to the drawing board. (http://mdn.mainichi.jp/mdnnews/news/20090817p2a00m0na013000c.html) I wonder if the Wright brothers had days like this?

Vladimir

08-24-2009, 16:38

Back to the drawing board. (http://mdn.mainichi.jp/mdnnews/news/20090817p2a00m0na013000c.html) I wonder if the Wright brothers had days like this?

Nah. Been there, done that. http://www.concreteships.org/ships/ww1/atlantus/

InsaneApache

08-25-2009, 00:40

Noting to fear, nothing to hide? Good it's legal anyway! :laugh4:

People selling adult videos, including pornography, to children are to escape prosecution after the discovery of a Whitehall blunder that means that the 1984 law regulating the video industry was never enacted.

The disclosure that for 25 years the Act governing the classification and sale of videos, video games and now DVDs was never brought into force is a big embarrassment to both Conservative and Labour governments.

It also leaves the industry in disarray with the classification system designed to protect the under-18s from violent and explicit material no longer officially in operation.

Lavinia Carey, director-general of the British Video Association, which represents 90 per cent of the industry, said: “What a ludicrous situation to find ourselves in after all this time.”
Related Links
Irish film board cuts rating for ‘depraved’ movie
Brüno toned down for 15 rating

Police and Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs are to be told to stop bringing any prosecutions until the Government brings in emergency legislation to re-enact the 1984 Video Recordings Act. Until then people will be able to sell videos, including violent and pornographic ones, to under-18s without fear of prosecution.

The video industry was stunned by the Government’s admission that the Act was not properly enacted 25 years ago. Officials in the Home Office had failed to notify the European Commission of the existence of the Act as they were required to do so under an EU directive.

The mistake was not spotted on two subsequent occasions, in 1993 and 1994. It was finally discovered during plans to update the law and introduce a new video-game classification system.

Barbara Follett, Minister for Culture and Tourism, said last night: “Unfortunately, the discovery of this omission means that, a quarter of a century later, the Video Recordings Act is no longer enforceable against individuals in United Kingdom courts.” In a letter to representatives of the video industry, Ms Follett said: “As the then British Government did not notify the European Commission of the VRA’s classification and labelling requirements, they cannot now be enforced against individuals in UK courts.”

The Department for Culture, Media and Sport said that it had received legal advice that people who had previously been prosecuted and convicted would be unable to overturn their convictions or seek compensation.

The Act was passed when Leon Brittan was Conservative Home Secretary and then amended under Michael Howard’s period at the Home Office. A Home Office spokesman said that it was likely the error had occurred because the European Directive was new at the time the Act was passed.

“The important thing is that we close this loophole as quickly as possible,” a spokeswoman said. No one should see this as a green light to act unlawfully. We will continue to prosecute breaches vigorously once this technical loophole is closed,” a spokeswoman said.

The British Video Association said that it is urging members to continue submitting work to the British Board of Film Classification and to continue labelling them under the system.

The Association represents 90 per cent of the industry with an annual turnover of over £2 billion and selling 250 million videos a year.

Jeremy Hunt, Shadow Culture Secretary, said: “Much of the problem would have been avoided if they had sorted out the classification of video games earlier, as we and many others in the industry have been urging them to do.”

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/crime/article6808592.ece

If you want a copy of Driller Killer or I Spit on your Grave; please, whatever you do, don't PM me. :laugh4:

CountArach

08-25-2009, 13:32

Man arrested for monkey business (http://www.news.com.au/perthnow/story/0,27574,25979697-2761,00.html):
BRENTON Green was monkeying around when he donned a costume to entertain city shoppers, but the stunt backfired when he was arrested and tossed in the lock-up.

Dressed as a monkey, Mr Green, 21, attracted the attention of two police officers on bicycles as he paraded among Perth shoppers on Sunday afternoon, hugging people, posing for photos, waving and dancing.

When the officers interrupted his show in front of about 40 onlookers and asked for his name, he responded by shaking his head and making strange sounds.

The second time police asked for his name, Mr Green replied: ``Monkey''. The officers responded by pushing him against a shop window and handcuffing him in front the stunned audience.
[...]
WA Police spokesman Sgt Graham Clifford said officers intervened after seeing the monkey man bump into several people and knock a hamburger out of another man's hands.

Police said Mr Green failed to give them his name by ``continually shaking his head and making squeaking noises''.

Hosakawa Tito

08-25-2009, 13:39

Lady, could you do that again my buddy missed it. (http://www2.ljworld.com/news/2009/aug/16/mom-baby-ok-after-bizarre-accident/)

Now that's liquidity, Italian style. (http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/aug/19/italy-food-wine-banks-collateral)

Fragony

08-27-2009, 11:04

Change we can believe in, a slight modification for the Polish market.

http://www.dumpert.nl/mediabase/610411/a2d447e9/microsoft_polen_fotosoept_neger_weg.html

Gregoshi

08-27-2009, 14:49

Change we can believe in, a slight modification for the Polish market.

http://www.dumpert.nl/mediabase/610411/a2d447e9/microsoft_polen_fotosoept_neger_weg.html
Weird that they didn't fix that orange box around the text at the bottom for the non-Polish version. ~;)

CountArach

08-28-2009, 04:22

Like engrish, but in reverse (http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/08/28/2669565.htm)

In a speech to students at the Australian National University last night, Mr Rudd joked that a translation mistake he made as a junior diplomat in Beijing may be behind the tensions.

"Apparently what I'd said as I sought to elevate his expression into a more classical form was that China and Australia are currently experiencing fantastic mutual orgasm," he said.

"Ever since then, our Chinese friends have remembered my visits to Beijing, 'Ah, you were the one...'

Furunculus

08-28-2009, 08:55

Madonna booed by Romanians for trying to tell them what to think about the Roma:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/celebritynews/6102634/Madonna-booed-in-Bucharest-for-defending-Gypsies.html

Gregoshi

08-28-2009, 15:53

"Apparently what I'd said as I sought to elevate his expression into a more classical form was that China and Australia are currently experiencing fantastic mutual orgasm," he said.

Apparently the Chinese were faking it.

Hosakawa Tito

08-31-2009, 17:58

I want to go to Hell and not have to stand in line with everyone else. (http://www.omaha.com/article/20090822/NEWS01/708229940/-1/FRONTPAGE)

Marketing genius. (http://www.autoblog.com/2009/08/24/st-louis-area-dealer-thinks-hummers-and-firearms-go-together-li/?icid=main%7Chtmlws-main%7Cdl4%7Clink5%7Chttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.autoblog.com%2F2009%2F08%2F24%2Fst-louis-area-dealer-thinks-hummers-and-firearms-go-together-li%2F) Throw in a Bible and you got a deal.

Lemur

09-02-2009, 00:22

Marketing genius. (http://www.autoblog.com/2009/08/24/st-louis-area-dealer-thinks-hummers-and-firearms-go-together-li/?icid=main%7Chtmlws-main%7Cdl4%7Clink5%7Chttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.autoblog.com%2F2009%2F08%2F24%2Fst-louis-area-dealer-thinks-hummers-and-firearms-go-together-li%2F) Throw in a Bible and you got a deal.
I'm thinking discount liquor and a porn bookstore. Bibles would just get in the way of the customers' hedonism.

Meanwhile, a 69-year-old woman in Missouri attempts to shoot down a plane (http://www.fox2now.com/ktvi-fulton-woman-airplane-shooting-083109,0,6468719.story) for being "too loud."

The Fulton Police Chief, Steve Myers, says 69 year old Judy Davis was upset because the small plane was flying to close too her home. [...] "When she got to the airport, she told the employees that she was going to shut this plane down," said Chief Myers

Hosakawa Tito

09-02-2009, 11:58

I'm thinking discount liquor and a porn bookstore. Bibles would just get in the way of the customers' hedonism.

Meanwhile, a 69-year-old woman in Missouri attempts to shoot down a plane (http://www.fox2now.com/ktvi-fulton-woman-airplane-shooting-083109,0,6468719.story) for being "too loud."

The Fulton Police Chief, Steve Myers, says 69 year old Judy Davis was upset because the small plane was flying to close too her home. [...] "When she got to the airport, she told the employees that she was going to shut this plane down," said Chief Myers

Never drink and drive Lem, you might hit a bump and spill your drink. Remember, in these troubled times we must reach for our guns our God and a hummer. though I must admit booze & porn would be the cherry on top.

Miss Davis appears to be a strong advocate of extreme air-traffic control. And being from the Show Me state...she sure showed them.

Gregoshi

09-02-2009, 12:21

Bibles would just get in the way of the customers' hedonism.
Since when? :laugh4:

Lemur

09-02-2009, 16:55

Man goes to jail to get away from wife (http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/news/local-beat/For-Better-or-Worse--56621067.html)

Anthony Miller, 39, told a Lancaster County judge his wife abused him so badly that in 2007 he held up an Ephrata Bank with a BB gun so he could go to jail to get away from her, according to Lancaster Online.

"She was very abusive to me," Miller told Judge Louis Farina. "I was scared. She threatened to commit suicide if I ever left her," according to the paper.

Miller was so anxious to get caught that he even stayed an extra four minutes inside the bank after he forced the teller to hand over the money.

“Did you call the police yet?” Miller asked the teller, according to the paper.

The teller eventually alerted police by setting off the bank alarm. Police caught Miller as he was leaving.

Miller’s defense attorney, Robert Beyer, said that when Miller’s wife came to pick up his car after he was in custody, she met with the arresting officer. After 20 minutes with her, the defense attorney said the officer confessed,” I was ready for jail, too,” according to the paper.

Vladimir

09-03-2009, 13:19

Shear poodle madness: http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/22043457/ns/today-photo_features?GT1=43001

Edit: Link isn't working. Do a google search if interested. :shrug:

Hosakawa Tito

09-03-2009, 13:26

Vladimir

09-03-2009, 16:29

:laugh4:

Greg, help me out here:

But the al-Asiri case ended very differently from the al-Awfi case. Unlike al-Awfi, al-Asiri was not a genuine repentant — he was a human Trojan horse. After al-Asiri entered a small room to speak with Prince Mohammed, he activated a small improvised explosive device (IED) he had been carrying inside his anal cavity. The resulting explosion ripped al-Asiri to shreds but only lightly injured the shocked prince — the target of al-Asiri’s unsuccessful assassination attempt.

http://www.stratfor.com/weekly/20090902_aqap_paradigm_shifts_and_lessons_learned/?utm_source=TWeekly&utm_campaign=none&utm_medium=email

I can't think of a pun worthy enough. :bow:

Gregoshi

09-03-2009, 16:56

:laugh4:

Greg, help me out here:

I can't think of a pun worthy enough. :bow:
But is was a successful assassassination attempt... :smartass2:

:shrug:

Vladimir

09-03-2009, 16:58

But is was a successful assassassination attempt... :smartass2:

:shrug:

OMG, it was so simple! :wall:

:laugh4:

Gregoshi

09-03-2009, 17:01

You didn't think it was over, did you? (http://legaltimes.typepad.com/blt/2009/08/exadminstrative-law-judge-takes-suit-to-the-dc-circuit.html) When he loses, that'll pretty much leave only SCOTUS and The Hague on his To-Do list.
One could say that those first three suit were lost at the cleaners. Which, ironically, is what Mr. Pearson is kind of getting at.

Gregoshi

09-03-2009, 21:58

Shear poodle madness: http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/22043457/ns/today-photo_features?GT1=43001

Edit: Link isn't working. Do a google search if interested. :shrug:
The link worked for me. Some of those dogs are from my hometown of Hershey PA. I'll have to ask some family members if they've seen these monstrocities around town.

I'm surprised PETA isn't all over the owners.

drone

09-03-2009, 22:10

The link worked for me. Some of those dogs are from my hometown of Hershey PA. I'll have to ask some family members if they've seen these monstrocities around town.

I'm surprised PETA isn't all over the owners.

I think we have the official dog of the Org.
https://img142.imageshack.us/img142/4395/barmpoodlegrooming03ssf.jpg

:2thumbsup:

Gregoshi

09-03-2009, 22:18

https://img142.imageshack.us/img142/4395/barmpoodlegrooming03ssf.jpg

Almost. Am I the only one who sees a nipple instead of a hump on this "camel"? Or is my mind in the gutter again?

Viking

09-04-2009, 15:26

I was reading a brilliant piece of Onion news yesterday; and it turns out they liked it in Bangladesh as well.

Two Bangladeshi newspapers have apologised after publishing an article taken from a satirical US website which claimed the Moon landings were faked.

[...]

The article said Mr Armstrong had told a news conference he had been "forced to reconsider every single detail of the monumental journey after watching a few persuasive YouTube videos and reading several blog posts" by a conspiracy theorist.

"It took only a few hastily written paragraphs published by this passionate denier of mankind's so-called 'greatest technological achievement' for me to realise I had been living a lie," the fake article "quoted" Mr Armstrong as saying.

One giant slip in Bangladesh news (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/8237558.stm)

Lemur

09-05-2009, 20:25

More than politicians come from Wasilla: 126-pound cabbage breaks records (http://www.adn.com/news/alaska/state_fair/story/920747.html)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/466139527656originalstandaloneprod_.jpg

The whopper submitted by Wasilla resident Steve Hubacek tipped the scales at 125.9 pounds, said Dean Phipps, marketing director for the fair. The cabbage's head measured about 21 inches across, and its leaves spanned about 5 feet.

"I was there when they put it on," he said. "When they put it on everybody took a couple steps back and went like, 'Oh, my gosh.' They all had versions of that and then they started jumping up and down." [...]

The previous world record, set in Wales, United Kingdom, in 1989, was 124 pounds, Liska said.

That broke a record that lasted 124 years. "So maybe we'll sit on this one for a while," she said.

Also this year, the fair saw two world record rutabagas, both submitted by Scott Robb of Palmer, she said. The first weighed more than 79 pounds and the second 82.9 pounds.

Crazed Rabbit

09-05-2009, 21:38

Man, lots of stuff comes from Wasilla. Like that guy who built the giant mech robot thing.

CR

Hosakawa Tito

09-05-2009, 22:15

That's a lot of slaw.:2thumbsup:

Evil_Maniac From Mars

09-06-2009, 03:40

Crazed Rabbit

09-06-2009, 23:03

Washington Strikes again! (http://www.kitsapsun.com/news/2009/sep/04/bremerton-men-accused-of-getting-naked-and-loud/?partner=RSS)

Bremerton Men Accused of Getting Naked and Loud
Kitsap Sun staff

Police were called to Mountain View Drive early Friday to investigate reports of intoxicated men urinating on cars.

While officers were en route, the men allegedly got undressed.

Witnesses said one was completely naked, one wasn’t wearing any pants and they couldn’t see the third man because the other two were on top of him, they said. The witnesses said they heard somebody yell “return of the Jedi” while the three were naked and entwined.

CR

Lemur

09-07-2009, 22:03

Walmart, China-style: Suspected shoplifter beaten to death by employees (http://www.weirdasianews.com/2009/09/07/customer-beaten-death-walmart-employees/)

At Wal-Mart, theft is not tolerated. At least not at the Wal-Mart in Jingdezhen, China, where a customer died at the hands of Wal-Mart employees who suspected her of stealing.

It started out when one of the Wal-Mart employees suspected a female customer of theft. The customer was then under surveillance for a few minutes before being approached by the staff.

The Wal-mart employee requested to search the customer’s bag and the female customer refused to hand it over, stating that it was a violation of her privacy.

Next thing she knew, more Wal-Mart employees gathered around her and started beating her up.

The customer managed to send an alert to her family through her cellphone and when her mother and sister showed up at the store, the staff members were still pummeling her. They begged and pleaded for them to stop but to no avail.

Finally, the police showed up and put a stop to the incident and the victim was then rushed to the hospital.

Unfortunately, she died of wounds shortly afterwards.

Lemur

09-07-2009, 23:19

Boys role in moose death unclear (http://www.cbc.ca/canada/newfoundland-labrador/story/2009/08/12/moose-revisited-812.html)

Police say a shortage of witnesses has left them unconvinced that the Newfoundland boys accused of chasing a young moose to exhaustion in Deer Lake, N.L., on Monday actually did it.

And the father of one of the boys has offered an unusual alibi for them: he told CBC News in Corner Brook that the boys were busy vandalizing a church in Deer Lake when the moose was attacked.

Gregoshi

09-08-2009, 05:00

And the father of one of the boys has offered an unusual alibi for them: he told CBC News in Corner Brook that the boys were busy vandalizing a church in Deer Lake when the moose was attacked.
Thanks Dad!!

Lemur

09-08-2009, 05:04

Scientists desperate to know: Where's Waldo? (http://www.nbcmiami.com/news/local-beat/Have-You-Seen-This-Robot-57285162.html)

The Mote Marine Laboratory sent out a plea today for the return of their autonomous underwater vehicle.

"Mote scientists spent Thursday using side-scan sonar in an effort to find a scientific robot that has been missing since Monday, July 31, 2009," the e-mail stated. "Now we're seeking the public's help for the safe return of the robot."

The robot in question is a little over six feet long, 115 pounds, yellow, and answers to the name "Waldo." [...]

"We're hoping that if anyone has seen Waldo, they will call and let us know so we can pick it up," Kirkpatrick said.

Lemur

09-09-2009, 18:19

Looking for love in all the wrong places (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/09/09/ohio_robbery_date/)

An Ohio man who robbed a couple at gunpoint was arrested when he returned to ask his female victim for a date [...] Stephfon Bennett, 20, together with two other men, relieved Daniel Martinez Batista and Diana Martinez of their wallets outside their Columbus apartment on Saturday night.

A neighbour threatened the trio of miscreants, who legged it. However, less than two hours later, Bennett returned to the address to ask Ms Martinez if she fancied hooking up.

Columbus police Sgt Shaun Laird explained to WBNS-TV: "She recognized him right away when he returned, and was able to have her cousin call 911."

Within two minutes, Bennet was in custody, and now finds himself languishing dateless in Franklin County jail on $100k bail.

Sgt Laird admitted: "We are not exactly sure what he was thinking at the time."

Rhyfelwyr

09-09-2009, 23:22

Britain's deadliest biscuit revealed. (http://news.uk.msn.com/odd-news/article.aspx?cp-documentid=149601784)

The British government must act to protect us, it's for our own good. :yes:

Gregoshi

09-09-2009, 23:36

Looking for love in all the wrong places (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/09/09/ohio_robbery_date/)
Men...always thinking with the wrong head. We often claim "it has a mind of its own, Dear". A dumb mind for sure. :laugh4:

Gregoshi

09-09-2009, 23:38

Britain's deadliest biscuit revealed. (http://news.uk.msn.com/odd-news/article.aspx?cp-documentid=149601784)

The British government must act to protect us, it's for our own good. :yes:
God Save the Cream!

naut

09-10-2009, 08:28

The next web upgrade: Pigeon v1.0 (http://www.smh.com.au/technology/technology-news/carrier-pigeon-faster-than-south-african-isp-20090910-fi9h.html)

A South African information technology company proved it was faster for them to transmit data with a carrier pigeon than to send it using Telkom, the country's leading internet service provider.

[...]

Local news agency SAPA reported the 11-month-old pigeon, Winston, took one hour and eight minutes to fly the 80 km from Unlimited IT's offices near Pietermaritzburg to the coastal city of Durban with a data card was strapped to his leg.

Including downloading, the transfer took two hours, six minutes and 57 seconds -- the time it took for only four percent of the data to be transferred using a Telkom line.

[...]

Telkom could not immediately be reached for comment.

drone

09-11-2009, 14:43

Doesn't deserve a thread of it's own, but I lol'ed so I'll stick it in here:

ACORN fires 2 after hidden-camera footage aired (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/09/10/AR2009091003644.html?hpid=moreheadlines)

BALTIMORE -- The group ACORN has fired two employees who were seen on hidden-camera video giving tax advice to a man posing as a pimp and a woman who pretended to be a prostitute.

Fox News Channel broadcast excerpts from the video Thursday. On the video, a man and woman visiting ACORN's Baltimore office asked about buying a house and how to account on tax forms for the woman's income. An ACORN employee advised the woman to list her occupation as "performance artist."

The pair also claimed they planned to employ teenage girls from central America as prostitutes, and an ACORN employee suggested that up to three of the girls could be claimed as dependents, according to transcripts of the video posted online by conservative activist James O'Keefe.

O'Keefe told Fox he posed as the pimp and that he was shocked by the ACORN employees' helpfulness.
I wonder if the heroin used to keep the girls in line counts as a medical expense. :pimp:

naut

09-11-2009, 15:54

Doesn't deserve a thread of it's own, but I lol'ed so I'll stick it in here:

ACORN fires 2 after hidden-camera footage aired (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/09/10/AR2009091003644.html?hpid=moreheadlines)

I wonder if the heroin used to keep the girls in line counts as a medical expense. :pimp:
Couldn't happen if it wasn't illegal. But, I digress from the purpose of this thread.

Seems the ACORN employee bought the story "Hooker, Line and Sinker".

Lemur

09-11-2009, 20:24

I wonder if the heroin used to keep the girls in line counts as a medical expense. :pimp:
The IRS is way ahead of ya (http://www.irs.gov/publications/p17/ch12.html):

Illegal activities. Income from illegal activities, such as money from dealing illegal drugs, must be included in your income on Form 1040, line 21, or on Schedule C or Schedule C-EZ (Form 1040) if from your self-employment activity.

drone

09-11-2009, 20:41

The IRS is way ahead of ya (http://www.irs.gov/publications/p17/ch12.html):

Illegal activities. Income from illegal activities, such as money from dealing illegal drugs, must be included in your income on Form 1040, line 21, or on Schedule C or Schedule C-EZ (Form 1040) if from your self-employment activity.

Ah, but keeping the hos in line with smack is an expense, not income. ~;)

Aemilius Paulus

09-12-2009, 01:54

Ah, but keeping the hos in line with smack is an expense, not income. ~;)
Ah, my twisted sense of morality and the nose for money tells me we can cite that as a tax exemptions due to charitable activities! Splendid, more money saved!! :2thumbsup:

Heh, if I was in the place if those ACORN employees, I would not hesitate for as much as a second before aiding them with their tax forms.

The IRS is way ahead of ya:

Illegal activities. Income from illegal activities, such as money from dealing illegal drugs, must be included in your income on Form 1040, line 21, or on Schedule C or Schedule C-EZ (Form 1040) if from your self-employment activity.

So they will not incriminate you if you pay taxes on your dirty business :laugh4:? Or is this, as I suspect, merely an attempt to close a loophole a lawyer may exploit?

drone

09-12-2009, 02:10

So they will not incriminate you if you pay taxes on your dirty business :laugh4:? Or is this, as I suspect, merely an attempt to close a loophole a lawyer may exploit?
It's not that they won't squeal on you. It's just that if you get caught NOT paying taxes for your dirty business, they will nail you to the wall. Al Capone got put away for tax evasion. :yes:

Sasaki Kojiro

09-13-2009, 07:53

PETA is campaigning to start calling fish "sea kittens" so that people are less callous about their deaths:

http://www.peta.org/sea_kittens/about.asp

don't know if it's already posted...

Crazed Rabbit

09-13-2009, 07:55

So killing fish is equivalent to killing kittens now? Sounds like it's time to get some extra large mouse traps set out near the neighbor's house.

CR

Gregoshi

09-13-2009, 23:10

PETA is campaigning to start calling fish "sea kittens" so that people are less callous about their deaths:...
"Sea kittens"? Sounds catchy (that's a double!) :fishing:

Lemur

09-13-2009, 23:43

http://www.peta.org/sea_kittens/about.asp

don't know if it's already posted...
I think Crazed Rabbit beat you to it ten or twenty pages back, but I'm too darn tired to go looking.

Looks like the mindless mooks in airport security get more fun (http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/airports_snagged_swag_stash_4xqaQ2TvIco38pHj2uKe3O) than throwing out my shampoo:

Travelers have attempted to board planes armed with 10-point deer antlers, car parts, peace pipes, a kitchen sink, a grill, and even unwashed adult toys, according to the TSA.

Some of the contraband lives and breathes, as animal lovers afflicted with separation anxiety try to sneak their snakes, lizards and turtles -- even dogs -- by the X-ray scanners.

A man en route to New York City from Puerto Rico strapped a baby alligator to the inside of his thigh. He was fined and his reptile seized.

Peasant Phill

09-15-2009, 11:30

He was fined and his reptile seized.

...readies himself for an improper joke involving genitals ...

Rhyfelwyr

09-15-2009, 12:49

A man en route to New York City from Puerto Rico strapped a baby alligator to the inside of his thigh.

That firmly crosses the line from bravery to stupidity. :no:

naut

09-15-2009, 14:18

That firmly crosses the line from bravery to stupidity. :no:
Being firm might be an issue, should the alligator satiate it's taste for meat.

Gregoshi

09-15-2009, 14:49

Being firm might be an issue, should the alligator satiate it's taste for meat.
If it is a male, that would make it a gator. :inquisitive:

Lemur

09-15-2009, 17:31

Taking care of burglars Sengoku jidai-style (http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/maryland/baltimore-city/bal-sword0915,0,4027961.story)

A Johns Hopkins University student armed with a samurai sword killed a man who broke into the garage of his off-campus residence early Tuesday, a Baltimore police spokesman said. [...]

The student told police that he heard a commotion in the house and went downstairs armed with a samurai sword, Guglielmi said. He saw the side door to the garage had been pried open and found a man inside, who lunged at the student. [...] Burglars had already stolen two laptops and a Sony PlayStation from the student's home Monday, according to Guglielmi.

The suspected burglar [...] had prior convictions for breaking and entering and had just been released Saturday from a Baltimore County facility, Guglielmi said.

Lemur

09-15-2009, 18:00

Police liberate 9 from fake Big Brother house (http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSTRE58952J20090911)

Nine women tricked into thinking they were reality TV show contestants and lured into an Istanbul villa were rescued by Turkish military police after two months confinement, a police spokesman said Thursday.

Cameras in the villa filmed the women 24-hours a day, providing a live stream of images for Internet users who had paid to access the footage, the spokesman said.

The women, all from Turkey, according to the Turkish press, had answered an advert seeking contestants for a "Big Brother"-style television show. They passed an audition and selection process before entering the house.

"The women's parents called the police after they didn't hear anything from them. The military police went to investigate and heard the women screaming from inside," the spokesman said, adding the raid took place Monday.

Hosakawa Tito

09-16-2009, 13:51

People with worse sex lives than you... (http://www.falmouthpacket.co.uk/news/4588410.Pervert_got_sex_kicks_in_slurry/) Salami slapping in the old manure pile...different strokes for different folks.:laugh4:

This one's for our camel lovers... (http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/09/08/2679474.htm) assault with a deadly road-apple

Gregoshi

09-16-2009, 15:50

Lemur

09-16-2009, 16:26

"The farmer first became suspicious that something odd was going on when he found a water trough filled with manure and tissues scattered around.

He then saw the shape of what appeared to be someone’s bottom and two hand prints where manure had been piled up.
This ewwww factor goes to eleven. Ewwwwwww!

Furunculus

09-16-2009, 16:59

Crazed Rabbit

09-16-2009, 17:12

Lemur's disease is clearly contagious.

And from Austria; girlie-man construction workers (http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_3485591.html?menu=news.quirkies) (Warning: picture is borderline NSFW)

Burly builders fled when a naked blonde rushed at them on a construction site in the Austrian capital Vienna shouting: "Who wants me?"

The hard-hat hunks ran for cover when the woman turned the tables on them on the building site beside the city's main railway station.

"We like to chat up girls as they walk past - it's a tradition," said one builder.

"But this woman was too much to handle and we just ran and hid until the police got here. No-one liked to think what would happen if she caught one of us," he added.

Police spokesman Mario Hejl said: "It turned out no-one wanted her. The woman was detained and was put under a doctor's care."

And a snuggie fashion show. (http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/09/15/ap/strange/main5313275.shtml?tag=cbsnewsLeadStoriesAreaMain;cbsnewsLeadStoriesHeadlines)

CR

Ronin

09-16-2009, 17:12

Hopkins student slays burglar with samurai sword:
http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/maryland/baltimore-city/bal-md.samurai16sep16,0,114199.story

awesome, we need to be able to do this in Britain! :laugh4:

Damn you...beat me to it...

you thought it was only movies and a tv show? no my friend...THEY are amongst us!!

Here we are.born to be kings.
We´re the princes of the universe.
Here we belong.fighting to survive.
In a world with the darkest powers
:thrasher: :duel:

:2thumbsup:

Gregoshi

09-16-2009, 18:06

And from Austria; girlie-man construction workers (http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_3485591.html?menu=news.quirkies) (Warning: picture is borderline NSFW)

Austria has never been the same since the Anschluss. :laugh4:

Hosakawa Tito

09-17-2009, 12:24

An Improvised Sphincterial Device. (http://www.stuff.co.nz/sunday-star-times/news/world/2833157/Bomb-in-anal-cavity-raises-new-airline-concern) Let's see, after the Shoe Bomber they made us take off our shoes and scan them. Then the Liquid Bombers forced us to give up toiletries, baby formula, etc..

I'm not liking where this is headed... drop trou and spread'em:sweatdrop:

Gregoshi

09-17-2009, 14:44

Hosa[/B]'s article]
AQAP claimed credit for the attack in an internet statement but was coy about the method, declaring: "No one will be able to know the type of this device or the way it was detonated."

Anyone who has teenaged boys does.

Hosakawa Tito

09-17-2009, 15:16

Sometimes the Lord giveth, and sometimes he taketh away. (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/austria/6166852/Man-killed-in-church-after-stone-altar-falls-on-him.html) And sometimes the fickle sod plays ya like a cat plays a mouse.

Crazed Rabbit

09-17-2009, 17:31

Hosakawa Tito

09-17-2009, 17:46

Jeesh, give an entrepreneur (http://www.tdn.com/articles/2009/09/10/area_news/doc4aa89a2ba9f51022518206.txt) a break.

Husar

09-18-2009, 00:15

Idaho women are tough; one woman is impaled by a tree branch (http://www.khq.com/Global/story.asp?S=11135027) through her neck while riding in a car, and remains conscious while they drive an hour to the nearest nurse.
WARNING! Disturbing pictures included!

CR

Wow.
(Oh, and since this is the Backroom, note that she has no insurance... :creep:)

Lemur

09-18-2009, 00:58

Couple having sex in trash can robbed by egg-wielding fiends (http://www.kctv5.com/news/20925567/detail.html)

WICHITA, Kan. -- A tender moment in a trash bin went all wrong for a couple who found themselves being held up at pocket knifepoint.

Wichita police say two 44-year-olds had climbed into a Dumpster to be alone just after 6 p.m. Saturday when two men interrupted them and demanded their belongings.

Officers say the man and woman were engaged in "an intimate moment" when they were robbed of their shoes, jewelry and the man's wallet.

Police said one of the robbers was a 64-year-old man who egged his 59-year-old companion on during the robbery.

Gregoshi

09-18-2009, 04:39

Couple having sex in trash can robbed by egg-wielding fiends (http://www.kctv5.com/news/20925567/detail.html)

Police said one of the robbers was a 64-year-old man who egged his 59-year-old companion on during the robbery.
I don't think any egg were involved.

Choose your path to punnery:

1) Trashy sex robs couple of dignity.
2) White trash of a different kind (or not).
3) Woman dumpster husband.
4) Did they get his family jewels?
5) If she gets pregnant, would she have a litter?
6) Hardened Criminals Rob Hardened Victim

Samurai Waki

09-18-2009, 19:46

Idaho women are tough; one woman is impaled by a tree branch (http://www.khq.com/Global/story.asp?S=11135027) through her neck while riding in a car, and remains conscious while they drive an hour to the nearest nurse.
WARNING! Disturbing pictures included!

CR

Yeah Dude, read all about that, happened about an hour and half drive from where I live, and then they also sent her to my Hospital using the life flight.

Hosakawa Tito

09-22-2009, 00:36

Tax law is pretty complicated, but still... (http://www.forbes.com/2009/09/17/prostitution-taxes-deductions-personal-finance-lawyer.html)
"It's a holistic approach to medicine," William G. Halby told Forbes. :laugh4::laugh4::laugh4:

Gregoshi

09-22-2009, 02:28

Tax law is pretty complicated, but still... (http://www.forbes.com/2009/09/17/prostitution-taxes-deductions-personal-finance-lawyer.html) :laugh4::laugh4::laugh4:
Well, if the IRS wants you to report all illegal income for tax purposes, then you should likewise be able to get deductions based on illegal activities too. Besides, in this case we are talking about income tax laws... :inquisitive:

InsaneApache

09-22-2009, 09:07

We must get to the root of this immediatley. Send for Special Branch!

Police in Staffordshire are investigating the mysterious case of a garden that vanished from behind a suburban home and reappeared — plants, rockery, shed and flowers — in the backyard of the house next door.

Phil and Linzi Woodhouse were alerted to the disappearance of the contents of their garden, in Cannock, Staffordshire, by Mrs Woodhouse’s mother, who went round to check on the house while the couple and their four children were in Lanzarote.

The family had left Staffordshire, informing their next door neighbours that they were emigrating and putting their house on the market.

While in Lanzarote, Mrs Woodhouse, 28, said: “I had a call from my mother to ask what we had done to our garden. So we asked her whether she had her glasses on because we hadn’t done anything.”

When the couple returned to investigate, they found that the shed, the garden path, the rockery, the pot plants and the hanging baskets had all disappeared. Even the flowers had been dug up. The cultivated space behind their house had been transformed into a bare yard of earth and grass.

A different transformation had occurred next door. Where Mrs Woodhouse remembered an overgrown yard, there was now a familiar-looking shed along with pot plants, hanging baskets, paving slabs and flowers.

The Woodhouses reported the disappearance of their garden to the police. Though the crime did not appear to require the expertise of Special Branch, or even the cultivation of an informant — a grass, as it were, to help them to locate the missing garden — there was still some dispute last night as to how the garden had come to reappear next door.

Brian Johnson, 40, the couple’s next door neighbour, claimed that he had been led down the garden path by a third party who sold him the plants, the rockery, the shed and, indeed, the garden path itself for £220.

The identity of this garden “fence” was not disclosed, although Mr Johnson is understood to have claimed that this third party was known to Mr and Mrs Woodhouse.

Police said that they were looking into “an alleged crime of theft at the property”. They have advised the couple to organise the recovery of their property.

Mrs Woodhouse said that the disappearance of their garden had devalued their house. “We’re trying to sell our house but now the garden looks terrible,” she said. “My husband spent £600 building that fence from scratch and the plants must be about £80 as well.”

She added: “I was furious but sometimes we can’t help but laugh about it — it’s just so bizarre.”

She managed to speak to Mr Johnson only once about how her garden had come to be relocated next door.

“Most of what I said was unrepeatable,” she said. “I think I was just screaming, ‘It’s mine, it’s mine’.

“He said he bought them off somebody else and kept apologising and said he’d put them back. But he hasn’t so far.”

Yesterday Mr Johnson could not be reached for comment. The police were still attempting to get to the root of the crime. “We will investigate this matter fully,” a spokesman said last night.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article6843475.ece

:laugh4: