News of the Weird [Archive] - Page 13

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Lemur

12-18-2008, 21:23

Big stories I somehow missed in 2008(I'm sure at least one of these will be reposts, but with any luck quantity will overcome quality):

Greatest Police Car Escape Ever Made by Gay Porn Star (http://tastybooze.com/2008/02/greatest-police-car-escape-ever/)

Police arrested Taleon for possessing about a half-ounce of crack cocaine and a loaded .25-caliber automatic handgun. While handcuffed in the back of the moving car, Taleon smashed out the rear window by head-butting it, police said. He then dove through the window and its steel frame, causing $1,800 in damage, Kunkel said. After landing on his face, Taleon rose to his feet and, while still handcuffed, fled on foot and into a nearby pond, police said. “He swam across like Flipper, taunting the officers shouting, ‘You’ll never catch me,’ ” Kunkel said.

Man Has Sex With 1,000 Cars (http://www.asylum.com/2008/05/27/mechaphiliac-admits-to-having-sex-with-1-000-cars/)

Smith, a self-professed "romantic," writes poems about his cars, and says he first had sex with a car at the age of 15. Since then, he says he's only been attracted to autos, not humans. Smith has several other cars besides Vanilla -- including a 1973 Opal GT, named Cinnamon, and 1993 Ford Ranger Splash, named Ginger -- but he says "his most intense sexual experience was 'making love' to the helicopter from 1980s TV hit Airwolf."

Fake Cop Arrested for Pulling Over Real Cop (http://redeye.chicagotribune.com/red-102208-fakecop,0,5191751.story)

Police say a Connecticut man playing police officer picked the wrong person to pull over. Israel Gomez was arrested Tuesday after pulling over an off-duty Hartford police lieutenant. Police say 20-year-old Gomez turned on flashing lights and used a siren and loudspeaker to coax police Lt. Ronald Bair off the road.

Anti-Emo Riots Break Out in Mexico (http://blog.wired.com/underwire/2008/03/anti-emo-riots.html)

A series of attacks on dyed-hair, eye-makeup-wearing emo kids began in early March when several hundred people went on an emo-beating rampage in Querétaro, a town of 1.5 million about 160 miles north of Mexico City. The next week, shaggy-haired emo teenagers were harassed again by punks and rockabillys in the capital, prompting police protection and a segment on the TV news. Most recently, a Mexican newspaper reported that metal heads and gangsters have warned Tijuana's emo kids to stay away from the town's fair next month.

Man Charged for Having Sex with Patio Table (http://www.asylum.com/2008/03/31/no-picnic-man-charged-with-screwing-a-patio-table/)

Police in Ohio say that a married father of three has confessed to repeatedly having sex with his patio picnic table. Art Price, Jr., 40, has been charged with four counts of public indecency after a neighbor videotaped him getting all nasty with the umbrella hole in the middle of his plastic picnic table. Apparently preferring the table's legs in the air, Price reportedly flipped the table over before forcing himself inside of it.

British Farmer Conceals Illegal Castle Behind Giant Hay Bales (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-510161/Hay-presto-Farmer-unveils-illegal-mock-Tudor-castle-tried-hide-40ft-hay-bales.html)

Robert Fidler kept something much bigger concealed among the piles of straw down on his farm... a castle. Over the course of two years, he managed to secretly -- and unlawfully -- build the imposing mock Tudor structure in one of his fields, shielded behind a 40ft stack of hay bales covered by a huge tarpaulins. Once it was finished, he and his family moved in and lived there for four years before finally revealing the development -- complete with battlements and cannons -- in August 2006.

Lemur

12-18-2008, 22:01

Surgeon Finds Foot in Baby's Brain. (http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/dec/18/foot-in-baby-brain) Aieeee!

Dr Paul Grabb, a paediatric neurosurgeon, said he operated on Sam Esquibel at Memorial Hospital for Children, Colorado Springs, after an MRI scan showed a microscopic tumour on the newborn's brain. Sam was three days old and otherwise healthy.

Grabb said that while removing the growth he discovered it contained a nearly perfect foot and the formation of another foot, a hand and a thigh.

"It looked like the breach delivery of a baby coming out of the brain," Grabb said. "To find a perfectly formed structure (like this) is extremely unique, unusual, borderline unheard of."

Crazed Rabbit

12-20-2008, 00:22

Anti-Emo Riots Break Out in Mexico (http://blog.wired.com/underwire/2008/03/anti-emo-riots.html)

A series of attacks on dyed-hair, eye-makeup-wearing emo kids began in early March when several hundred people went on an emo-beating rampage in Querétaro, a town of 1.5 million about 160 miles north of Mexico City. The next week, shaggy-haired emo teenagers were harassed again by punks and rockabillys in the capital, prompting police protection and a segment on the TV news. Most recently, a Mexican newspaper reported that metal heads and gangsters have warned Tijuana's emo kids to stay away from the town's fair next month.

Huh. That's weird. I really like the photo at the top of the page of the emos 'demonstrating' - standing still and looking sullen, just like at their concerts. And then the guys looking like old school rock n rollers in the video, with the greased hair and everything. How fascinating!
CR

InsaneApache

12-22-2008, 05:54

I used to think that the UK was going potty, now I know we are....

“I showed them my policeclown identity card, which had my picture next to the my credentials as a member of the Criminal Insane Department, but I don’t think that really helped!

:laugh4:

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article5380552.ece

Papewaio

12-22-2008, 07:24

Weird Internal News WIN: The News of the Weird thread is growing twice as fast as the Babe thread.

Hosakawa Tito

12-22-2008, 12:20

I used to think that the UK was going potty, now I know we are....

:laugh4:

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article5380552.ece

Where's Monty Python when you need them.:laugh4:
Strip searching clowns...a rookie cop's worst nightmare.

Weird Internal News WIN: The News of the Weird thread is growing twice as fast as the Babe thread.

A Babe is just a woman, but a cigar is a good smoke. what am i trying to say?~:wacko:

Lemur

12-22-2008, 18:33

Babes are great, but weird news is forever.

Man claims the ecstasy he was busted carrying was for his dog. (http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574,24832778-17001,00.html)

A NORTHERN Territory businessman who pleaded not guilty to possessing more than 70 ecstasy tablets told Darwin Magistrates Court he thought they were birth control pills for his dog.

Steven James Dwyer, 48, pleaded guilty to possessing a traffickable amount of methamphetamine, but contested the charge of possessing an amount of ecstasy tablets, saying he thought the pills would stop his pet shar-peis from breeding [...]

Dwyer told the court the ecstasy tablets - MDMA - had come into his hands when he was outside a Katherine laundromat, after he met a man with a female shar-pei dog.

"We chatted about them - where he got them ... we kept talking about dogs and how he bred her," Dwyer said.

"And then we talked about his female coming on heat."

Dwyer told the court the man had told him he used birth control tablets on the dogs, but he had since had his own dog desexed and had no use for the tablets he had in his car.

"I knew she was due to come on heat, I thought, 'That'll be very handy for her'," he said, claiming no money had changed hands.

Lemur

12-23-2008, 00:06

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/73memd.jpg

InsaneApache

12-23-2008, 00:34

What a dickhead!

Boyar Son

12-23-2008, 00:39

wtf?? killed by a condom DAMN..

Louis VI the Fat

12-23-2008, 00:45

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/73memd.jpg Somebody please tell him that one doesn't need to put on a condom for giving head. :idea2:

naut

12-23-2008, 00:46

Birth control for his dog. Hehehe. Sure. :rolleyes:

Hosakawa Tito

12-23-2008, 01:35

Wrong head you idiot, though at least he "went down" laughing. Watch the condom company get sued for not posting explicit instructions on the package. man I shoulda been a tort lawyer.

Gregoshi

12-23-2008, 02:42

Must have been prophylactose intolerant. :clown:

Evil_Maniac From Mars

12-23-2008, 03:24

Wrong head you idiot, though at least he "went down" laughing. Watch the condom company get sued for not posting explicit instructions on the package. man I shoulda been a tort lawyer.

Do not put on head? Doesn't that defeat the purpose? :inquisitive:

Vladimir

12-23-2008, 14:42

Banquo's Ghost

12-23-2008, 17:11

Not so much weird but it has international flair!

The only thing I despise more than a Frenchman someone pretending (http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D957V4EO0&show_article=1)to be one. :joker:

:france: :2thumbsup:

Sadly, Lemur's Disease (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showthread.php?p=2090772#post2090772) is an international problem.

Vladimir

12-23-2008, 18:01

Indeed. :sick:

Crazed Rabbit

12-23-2008, 18:16

Actor David Spade buys 40 expensive modern rifles for the Phoenix Police. (http://kfyi.com/cc-common/news/sections/newsarticle.html?feed=118695&article=4763641)

:inquisitive:

CR

Vladimir

12-23-2008, 18:28

Actor David Spade buys 40 expensive modern rifles for the Phoenix Police. (http://kfyi.com/cc-common/news/sections/newsarticle.html?feed=118695&article=4763641)

:inquisitive:

CR

The AR-15 rifles the department is seeking cost over $2,000 each; Spade's gift will allow the purchase of more than 40 of the guns.

That's insane. The cops can't fight the gangs because they piss all their money away.

And "modern" rifles?!

Crazed Rabbit

12-23-2008, 19:08

And "modern" rifles?!

I just wanted to indicate they're not hunting rifles or whatever.

CR

Lemur

12-23-2008, 19:10

Cocaine turns bees into liars (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/12/23/bees_on_cocaine/)

According to the boffins, cocaine turns good bees - productive members of the hive - into untrustworthy scumbags. The cocaine-addled insects would routinely exaggerate the quality of sugar or pollen they had found, lying to their fellow hive members through the medium of "waggle dancing", the standard method of describing one's work among bees.

But the bees' dance remained accurate in terms of where the food was, according to Robinson. The insect drug-slaves maintained a certain level of dignity.

"It's not like they're gyrating wildly on the dance floor out of control," he said. "This is a patterned response. It gives distance information, location information. That information is intact."

drone

12-23-2008, 19:32

But the bees' dance remained accurate in terms of where the food was, according to Robinson. The insect drug-slaves maintained a certain level of dignity.

"It's not like they're gyrating wildly on the dance floor out of control," he said. "This is a patterned response. It gives distance information, location information. That information is intact."

She don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie... (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLvTWVfXNXY)

seireikhaan

12-23-2008, 19:44

Lemur

12-23-2008, 22:00

Giant sea woodlice invade Britain (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/wildlife/3900575/Giant-woodlice-arrive-in-Britain-for-first-time.html)

"There are lots of them down at the bottom of the sea but because of the depths they live at, they rarely turn up in fishing nets or lobster pots.

"They are scavengers which feed on the carcasses of dead fish and other creatures. They are doing a very good clean-up job.

"When we flew our nine to the UK, we wrapped each one individually in wet hessian. We then covered them in wet newspaper and then encased them in ice for the journey.

"They live in the dark in temperatures as low as (39F) 4C - we are very excited.

"At the moment they are being kept in a large quarantine tank in a shaded and dark corner at the Sea Life Centre in Weymouth.

"The tank has special coolers that keeps the water at a chilly 4C. After quarantine they will be taken to the Sea Life Centre in Blackpool.

"The tank there has been fitted with reflective glass that keeps it dark inside but allows people to look in.

"It, too, is fitted with special coolers to keep the temperature at 4C (39F)."

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/isopod_450.jpg https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/Isopod_1210277c.jpg

Conqueror

12-24-2008, 11:28

Adorable critters. Maybe they can get 'em to reproduce in the tank, then every sea life centre could have it's own specimen :2thumbsup:

Banquo's Ghost

12-24-2008, 11:36

Absolutely potty (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/12/23/baby_alive_learns_to_potty/). :no:

Surely this darling $60 dumper is the apotheosis of a dream first dreamed by Charles Babbage as he painstakingly constructed his pioneering Difference Engine in the 1830s. "Today a machine can calculate," he may have dared imagine, "Tomorrow it may think. And some day - we can only hope! - mankind will create a machine that can poop!"

Fisherking

12-24-2008, 13:02

Lemur

12-24-2008, 14:18

A man who lives in a wooden house with vinyl siding decides to remove snow by hooking up a blowtorch to a 20-pond propane tank. Can you guess what happens? (http://apnews.myway.com/article/20081223/D958F0080.html)

Kruger says the man was using a torch hooked up to a 20-pound propane cylinder. He got too close to the building's wood frame and ignited the vinyl siding. The fire quickly spread into the building's second- and third-floor apartments.

It took 25 firefighters to subdue the blaze that damaged bedrooms in the upstairs units, and caused damage to the structure and wiring.

The homeowner will not be charged.

Meanwhile, I think we all should avoid traveling to Brighton City, MI (http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/12/19/ap/strange/main4678936.shtml?source=RSS&attr=_4678936).

Ticking someone off could get you a ticket in one Michigan city. The Brighton City Council on Thursday approved an ordinance allowing police in the Livingston County community to ticket and fine anyone who is annoying in public "by word of mouth, sign or motions."

Lemur

12-24-2008, 19:52

I just can't stop it. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjNMuaTKIi8) When the Backroom re-opens, maybe we can merge this in with the existing News of the Weird. Meanwhile ...

Mega-orgy in Tel Aviv cancelled due to public pressure (http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3642845,00.html)

After weeks of preparations for the largest sex event of its kind in Israel, organizers were forced to cancel it this week due to public pressure and threats exerted on the owner of the venue where the sex fest was to take place.

The event in question, which was scheduled to take place on "International Orgasm Day," aimed to bring together some 250 participants seeking to promote world peace through multiple orgasms reached by masturbation or sex.

The orgy was organized by the Raelian movement, a UFO religion whose followers believe humankind was created by aliens.

Lemur

12-24-2008, 20:01

Taliban Lego threatens democracy (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/12/04/toy_taliban/)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/toy_taliban.jpg

Religious leaders have united to express their dismay at a custom range of Lego figures - including a "Toy Taliban" armed to the teeth with C96 broomhandle Mauser pistol, AK Assault Rifle and M67 frag grenades.

BrickArms' Toy taliban figureThe offending terrorist -- made by US firm BrickArms and punted for £9.50 to impressionable UK kiddies here -- didn't much impress Mohammed Shaffiq, of Muslim organisation The Ramadhan Foundation, who slammed the toy as “absolutely disgusting”.

He told the Sun: “It is glorifying terrorism -- the makers should be ashamed. We should be coming together to unite against terrorism, but how is that possible when children are playing with toys like this?”

Parents who feel uneasy about their kids reenacting exciting moments in recent Afghan history might consider buying their offspring the SS major (http://www.minifigforlife.com/theprostore/main.php?P=cat&C=15) instead.

Pannonian

12-24-2008, 21:13

InsaneApache

12-24-2008, 22:22

I love that song. My favourite on the album is 'She wandered in through the bathroom window', classic. :2thumbsup:

Fisherking

12-24-2008, 22:26

Meanwhile, I think we all should avoid traveling to Brighton City, MI (http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/12/19/ap/strange/main4678936.shtml?source=RSS&attr=_4678936).

Ticking someone off could get you a ticket in one Michigan city. The Brighton City Council on Thursday approved an ordinance allowing police in the Livingston County community to ticket and fine anyone who is annoying in public "by word of mouth, sign or motions."

Has the city council exempted them selves from the law…otherwise just level a daily fine on each….
:inquisitive:

Crazed Rabbit

12-24-2008, 23:06

Meanwhile, I think we all should avoid traveling to Brighton City, MI (http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/12/19/ap/strange/main4678936.shtml?source=RSS&attr=_4678936).

Ticking someone off could get you a ticket in one Michigan city. The Brighton City Council on Thursday approved an ordinance allowing police in the Livingston County community to ticket and fine anyone who is annoying in public "by word of mouth, sign or motions."

Wow, that's not creeping fascism, that's fascism by leaps and bounds. So very, very many things wrong with it.

CR

Marshal Murat

12-24-2008, 23:28

Mega-orgy in Tel Aviv cancelled due to public pressure

After weeks of preparations for the largest sex event of its kind in Israel, organizers were forced to cancel it this week due to public pressure and threats exerted on the owner of the venue where the sex fest was to take place.

The event in question, which was scheduled to take place on "International Orgasm Day," aimed to bring together some 250 participants seeking to promote world peace through multiple orgasms reached by masturbation or sex.

The orgy was organized by the Raelian movement, a UFO religion whose followers believe humankind was created by aliens.

EU's all over it (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koRlFnBlDH0)

Marshal Murat

12-24-2008, 23:30

Kosovo Street Renaming (http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=081224144851.mzptko0i&show_article=1)
Chiles has O'Higgins, U.S. has Martin Luther King Jr, Kosovo now has George Bush Street.

Lemur

12-25-2008, 06:06

Footballer tackles opponent with chainsaw (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/lawandorder/3919949/Footballer-tackles-opponent-with-chainsaw.html)

Anthony Lloyd, 20, was ordered off the park pitch for foul language but returned with the running power tool and tried to chop the hands off rival Paul Westwood while yelling: "I'm a crank."

Prosecutor Laura Plant told the court: "They heard an engine start and saw the defendant coming out of the bushes revving a chainsaw.

"The victim's friend ran off, leaving him cornered by the defendant."

Lloyd began thrusting the chainsaw at Mr Westwood, cutting his chest.

Ms Plant added: "He tried to chop his hands off while Mr Westwood was defending himself. He then walked off."

naut

12-25-2008, 13:11

Pannonian

12-25-2008, 13:16

Lemur

12-25-2008, 15:34

Three dead after Santa Claus opens fire at Christmas party (http://www.startribune.com/nation/36722784.html)

A man dressed as Santa Claus opened fire at a Christmas Eve party in a suburban Los Angeles home that subsequently caught fire, leaving three people dead, police said.

The man arrived at the party in Covina late Wednesday and immediately opened fire with a handgun, police Lt. Pat Buchanan said. [...]

Police received several 911 calls with reports of shots fired at 11:30 p.m. Wednesday night, and were still hearing gunshots after they arrived and found the house in flames, Buchanan said.

At first, firefighters were held back by police because shots were still being fired, authorities said.

Hosakawa Tito

12-25-2008, 15:40

You might be a redneck burglar if... (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/odd_spitting_burglar)

Next time leave the Redman at home before embarking on your crime spree.:laugh4:

Fragony

12-25-2008, 15:52

Wow, that's not creeping fascism, that's fascism by leaps and bounds. So very, very many things wrong with it.

CR

heh same here when they are shooting money out of your pocket with their laserguns, if you signal other drivers the disobedience tax-collectors are hidden on places where it is perfectly safe to drive a little faster you can get a fine as well. The funny thing is, signaling other drivers has the desired effect of cars slowing down but it really i$n't bout that, i$ it. Good thing about dutch government that they don't want control us they just want our money to fill up the gaps, could be worse, not that scary to me just very very annoying.

Crazed Rabbit

12-25-2008, 19:51

https://img261.imageshack.us/img261/7807/l22dumpedtruck03t575vj3.jpg (http://newsminer.com/photos/2008/dec/22/6380/)

Uncovering the abominable utility truck.

City hit by 'legal to pee' prank (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/nottinghamshire/7798194.stm)

CR

Quietus

12-26-2008, 00:44

Tree Man's branches grow back (http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?Tree_Mans_branches_grow_back&in_article_id=453151&in_page_id=2) ( Not for the squemish or hungry ).

Hosakawa Tito

12-26-2008, 03:24

Lemur

12-26-2008, 20:05

I guess there's no Backroom closure this year? Okay then. Looks like motivating the faithful consists of multiple hooks:

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/44214195.jpg

Gregoshi

12-27-2008, 05:46

Pannonian

12-27-2008, 11:00

Hmmm, I thought prayer was the original wireless access. Maybe that church is lacking a little faith...or needs a new provider - the New Verizon Church of Christ. "Can you hear me now, oh Lord?" :laugh4:
If one prays too much, is one limited for the next month or two in how much one can pray? Does the church try to shape what kind of prayer is acceptable, with perhaps a limited amount of materialistic praying allowed? Is one allowed to pray as much as one likes at off-peak times? Is the free access to the Lord Above financed by staring at a selection of adverts whilst praying? Does each person have a certain amount of locker space in which to store their prayer books, with perhaps some payment required if one wants room for more?

Fisherking

12-27-2008, 11:50

Lipodiesel. (http://www.heraldextra.com/component/option,com_fireboard/Itemid,3/func,view/catid,2/id,420875/) The greatest idea since Soylent Green.~;)
Yes folks we can eat our way out of the energy crisis

I saw that before Christmas. The description in the caption was so sick I didn’t read the article.

Husar

12-27-2008, 13:32

It is illegal in the US to use human medical waste to power vehicles

:inquisitive:

It even says it is waste and who would make a specific law about that anyway?

Lemur

12-27-2008, 15:20

Strange ways to die. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_unusual_deaths) Samples:

456 BCE: Aeschylus, a Greek playwright, was killed when an eagle dropped a live tortoise on him, mistaking his bald head for a stone. The tortoise survived.
1410: Martin I of Aragon died from a lethal combination of indigestion and uncontrollable laughing.
1514: György Dózsa, székely man-at-arms and peasants' revolt leader in Hungary, was condemned to sit on a red-hot iron throne with a red-hot iron crown on his head and a red-hot sceptre in his hand (mocking at his ambition to be king), by Hungarian oppressors in Transylvania. While Dózsa was still alive, he was set upon and his partially roasted body was eaten by six of his fellow rebels, who had been starved for a week beforehand.
1771: Adolf Frederick, king of Sweden, died of digestion problems on 12 February 1771 after having consumed a meal consisting of lobster, caviar, sauerkraut, smoked herring and champagne, topped off with 14 servings of his favorite dessert: semla served in a bowl of hot milk. He is thus remembered by Swedish schoolchildren as "the king who ate himself to death."
1959: In the Dyatlov Pass incident, Nine ski hikers in the Ural Mountains abandoned their camp in the middle of the night in apparent terror, some clad only in their underwear despite sub-zero weather. Six of the hikers died of hypothermia and three by unexplained fatal injuries. Though the corpses showed no signs of struggle, one victim had a fatal skull fracture, two had major chest fractures (comparable in force to a car accident), and one was missing her tongue. The victims' clothing also contained high levels of radiation. Soviet investigators determined only that "a compelling unknown force" had caused the deaths, barring entry to the area for years thereafter.

There are literally hundreds more on the page. Enjoy! Merry Christmas!

naut

12-27-2008, 15:27

Haha, thanks for the link Lemur.

Lemur

12-27-2008, 15:53

Man arrested for setting up dental office in his kitchen (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28384617/)

PEEKSKILL, New York - A man has been accused of operating an illegal dentist's office in the kitchen of his suburban New York City home and giving patients wine from a jug to help them cope with the pain.

Police arrested Carlos Flores on Tuesday night after raiding his home in Peekskill, about 45 miles north of midtown Manhattan. They say they learned about the dental office when a man who went there for a toothache ended up hospitalized after Flores broke the tooth while trying to pull it out.

Lemur

12-27-2008, 23:10

Like the song says, I'm proud to be an American (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-9_fDEsv-Q).

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/423636E.jpg

Crazed Rabbit

12-28-2008, 00:37

All that store needs is to sell tobacco goods.

Going with the picture theme:
https://img244.imageshack.us/img244/9779/eatthekidsfirstaz5.png

More vanity license plates here (http://jalopnik.com/5113782/50-vanity-plates-that-slipped-by-the-dmv?skyline=true&s=i)(mildly NSFW themes on some plates)

CR

Lemur

12-28-2008, 01:24

Cognitive dissonance ...

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/3120097594_e5031592c6.jpg

Crazed Rabbit

12-28-2008, 01:36

The Story of Washington Mutual (http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/28/business/28wamu.html) (A bank that failed after going hog-wild on sub-prime loans);
Starts with this eerily prophetic quote:

We hope to do to this industry what Wal-Mart did to theirs, Starbucks did to theirs, Costco did to theirs and Lowe’s-Home Depot did to their industry. And I think if we’ve done our job, five years from now you’re not going to call us a bank.”
— Kerry K. Killinger, chief executive of Washington Mutual, 2003

CR

Hosakawa Tito

12-28-2008, 01:43

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v517/hoppy84/cid_004d01c545c217fe2230812014d0lmcojrlt5a9h6c.jpg

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v517/hoppy84/cid_004a01c545c217fe2230812014d0lmcojrlt5a9h6c.jpg

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v517/hoppy84/superheros.jpg

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v517/hoppy84/satan.jpg

Lemur

12-28-2008, 18:07

I Love silly pictures as much as the next guy, but let's not forget what NotW is really about: Penis injuries. Let's get back to basics:

Woman jailed for biting her husband's ding-a-ling (http://www.orlandosentinel.com/orl-bk-woman-bites-husband-in-penis-122308,0,1547730.story)

According to a sheriff's office report, the Bowerses had been to a bar Friday night. Delou Bowers told authorities that when they got home, his wife began to perform oral sex on him but then began to bite his penis.

He tried to stop her, he told a deputy, but she kept at it. He then began to punch her in the head and pushed her to the floor, and she let go, according to the arrest report.

Man dies after wife sets his genitals on fire (http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574,24848739-2,00.html)

Police have alleged Mr Narayan's wife doused his genitals with methylated spirit and then set him on fire about 5.30am on December 7.

Mrs Narayan had been charged with causing serious harm to her husband, arson and endangering her children. [...]

It is believed a major blaze was sparked at the couple's Cleland Ave townhouse in Unley when Mr Narayan jumped out of bed and knocked over the bottle of methylated spirit.

The fire caused about $1 million of damage to the couple's home and an adjacent propert

Marshal Murat

12-28-2008, 20:40

Need information? Pay in Viagra. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7800549.stm)

In one case, a 60-year-old warlord with four wives was given four pills and four days later detailed Taleban movements in return for more.

Lemur

12-29-2008, 14:13

Squids dig rough sex (http://www.sciam.com/blog/60-second-science/post.cfm?id=rough-sex-at-40000-leagues-under-th-2008-12-24)

Species of deep-sea squid that strut their stuff in the blackness that prevail thousands of feet beneath the ocean surface encounter few opportunities to mate and so every tryst must count.

So what's a guy (squid) to do? Males of the species Taningia danae use sharp beaks or hooks on tentacles to make cuts into their mates of more than two inches before depositing sperm packets called spermatophores, Australian biologists tell the German magazine Der Spiegel.

Males may get really agro because of an inferiority complex, the pub reports: They are generally smaller and, if they don’t play hard, fast, or clever they may get eaten by the Big Mamas. At these depths, size may matter a lot to make sure those little packets of love really stay put. [...]

For female squids, sex is truly a once-in-a-lifetime experience—and an apparently horrible one at that. The female releases millions of tiny eggs into the water along with the sperm contributed by the one male who got his hooks into her, and usually never goes back for seconds, the researchers found. Afterward, they never let a male get close—a behavior that even has led to the technical term “traumatic fertilization.”

Hosakawa Tito

01-02-2009, 00:14

Practice what you preach. (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090101/ap_on_fe_st/odd_bike_stolen) ~:doh:

KarlXII

01-02-2009, 01:59

Strange ways to die. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_unusual_deaths) Samples:

I'm ready.

[LIST]
456 BCE: Aeschylus, a Greek playwright, was killed when an eagle dropped a live tortoise on him, mistaking his bald head for a stone. The tortoise survived.

Jesus! That's a relief.

1771: Adolf Frederick, king of Sweden, died of digestion problems on 12 February 1771 after having consumed a meal consisting of lobster, caviar, sauerkraut, smoked herring and champagne, topped off with 14 servings of his favorite dessert: semla served in a bowl of hot milk. He is thus remembered by Swedish schoolchildren as "the king who ate himself to death."

Coward.

rasoforos

01-06-2009, 08:45

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7812875.stm

I just wanted to burn his penis so it belongs to me and no one else, I didn't mean this to happen," Ms Boord quoted Mrs Narayan as saying

Oh alright then...

Lemur

01-06-2009, 14:32

InsaneApache

01-06-2009, 15:58

Ahh bless....

Two German children - aged five and six - have been stopped by police from eloping to Africa to tie the knot in the sun, reports say.

The budding lovebirds, identified as Mika and Anna-Lena, packed bathing costumes, sunglasses and a lilo and headed for the airport.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/7811686.stm

:flowers:

Gregoshi

01-06-2009, 17:23

Two German children - aged five and six - have been stopped by police from eloping to Africa to tie the knot in the sun, reports say.

The budding lovebirds, identified as Mika and Anna-Lena, packed bathing costumes, sunglasses and a lilo and headed for the airport.
Married, with children...

Caius

01-06-2009, 21:39

What does work better? (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090105/ap_on_fe_st/odd_topless_coffee_shop)

Topless coffee shop proposed for small Maine town

VASSALBORO, Maine – A one-time motel in a small central Maine town could soon be offering an eye-opening way to start the day — topless coffee shop waitresses. The Vassalboro Planning Board on Tuesday will consider a business permit request for a topless coffee shop on busy Route 3.

The one-story building has also been the home to several other business ventures, most recently Mac Daddy's Pub at the Fat Cat Grille, which closed three or four years ago.

Neighbors have mixed opinions. Some say Vassalboro is a rural town and that a topless coffee shop would bring the wrong crowd. But others say they'd like to see a business make a go of it there.

Donald Crabtree of Ellsworth, who has applied for the business permit, told the Kennebec Journal that he didn't want to discuss his plan until after the planning board meets.

Pannonian

01-06-2009, 22:15

Ahem. (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showpost.php?p=2093962&postcount=3060)
Are there innoculations against Lemur's disease?

drone

01-07-2009, 22:22

Porn industry seeks federal bailout (http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2009/01/07/porn-industry-seeks-federal-bailout/)

WASHINGTON (CNN) — Another major American industry is asking for assistance as the global financial crisis continues: Hustler publisher Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis said Wednesday they will request that Congress allocate $5 billion for a bailout of the adult entertainment industry.

“The take here is that everyone and their mother want to be bailed out from the banks to the big three,” said Owen Moogan, spokesman for Larry Flynt. “The porn industry has been hurt by the downturn like everyone else and they are going to ask for the $5 billion. Is it the most serious thing in the world? Is it going to make the lives of Americans better if it happens? It is not for them to determine.”

Francis said in a statement that “the US government should actively support the adult industry's survival and growth, just as it feels the need to support any other industry cherished by the American people."

“We should be delivering [the request] by the end of today to our congressmen and [Secretary of the Treasury Henry] Paulson asking for this $5 billion dollar bailout,” he told CNN Wednesday.

Without this emergency funding, pr0n will revert to the dark ages of the 70s and 80s, with poor lighting and production values, no surgically altered hooters, and cheesy music. This cannot be allowed to happen.

CountArach

01-07-2009, 23:43

Without this emergency funding, pr0n will revert to the dark ages of the 70s and 80s, with poor lighting and production values, no surgically altered hooters, and cheesy music. This cannot be allowed to happen.
Finally, a return to the moustachioed Plumber.

Lemur

01-08-2009, 15:23

Larry Flynt Sues Relatives for Putting Family Name on "Inferior" Porn (http://www.latimes.com/news/printedition/california/la-me-larry-flynt7-2009jan07,0,7098718.story)

Hustler magazine publisher Larry Flynt has been called a lot of things over the years. But he insists that the Flynt name still stands for quality when it comes to adult entertainment.

So this week, he filed suit against two nephews who are using the family name for their own line of adult films. Flynt said he is going to court to protect his good name, saying that he is concerned that Jimmy Flynt II and Dustin Flynt might tarnish the Flynt franchise by producing lower-quality porn that the lawsuit calls "inferior products" and "knock-off goods."

"To come into the adult entertainment business and use my name not only confuses people who buy my products, but if they're not maintaining a certain quality, it could also hurt my name," Larry Flynt told The Times on Tuesday.

The younger Flynts strongly disagree, saying that they are trying only to break into the family business.

Vladimir

01-09-2009, 13:46

The death of a Crazed Rabbit (http://www.thememriblog.org/blog_personal/en/12672.htm).

Xiahou

01-09-2009, 16:20

UFO crashes into wind turbine (http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/ufos/article2108149.ece) :oops:

Lemur

01-09-2009, 16:22

A new selection of unfortunate logos:

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/AStyle.jpg https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/AthertonCarCentre.jpg https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/ClinicaDental.jpg https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/buty-salon-logo.jpg https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/hospitalForSpecialSurgery.jpg

And last, but not least, I think MegaFlicks should pick a different font, or at least adjust the spacing ...

[Perhaps best left to the imagination. BG]

Pannonian

01-09-2009, 18:54

My favourite is the Brazilian Institute of Oriental Studies, whose logo is a yellow pagoda set against the background of a red rising sun.

https://i274.photobucket.com/albums/jj277/pannonian/brazilian-anal.gif

Hooahguy

01-09-2009, 20:26

i dont get the "special surgery" one....
:sad:

Lemur

01-09-2009, 21:46

i dont get the "special surgery" one....
:sad:
Well, as part of the "special surgery," they appear to have transferred all of the unfortunate stick figure's limbs onto one side of his body. Special, indeed.

Sorry if that last one was over the line, BG, but really, it just said MegaFlicks. I don't know what your dirty mind was reading ...

Xiahou

01-09-2009, 22:10

Save the Sea Kittens (http://www.peta.org/sea_kittens/about.asp)

Husar

01-10-2009, 09:11

Well, as part of the "special surgery," they appear to have transferred all of the unfortunate stick figure's limbs onto one side of his body. Special, indeed.

Ah, I thought it had 8 limbs now and was shown from the side walking up a wall...

You know, like an octopede...

Fisherking

01-10-2009, 11:52

Well if this is real then it may provide some answers to an old mystery.

Beast on the beach:
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2109413.ece

To me it looks like the skull of a cat, but since it was supposedly stolen…

Pannonian

01-11-2009, 13:38

An old news article, but worth pointing out for its headline.

Young Boys Wankdorf erection relief (http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story?id=337901&&cc=5739)

July 31, 2005 - The supporters of Young Boys Bern have not had too much to celebrate in the 19 years since their team last won the Swiss league title.

Long since eclipsed by the likes of FC Basel and Grasshoppers Zurich, the club from the Swiss capital has even got a reputation for enjoying its status as a perennial loser.

But this weekend Young Boys sought to shake off their old image by officially opening the 32,000 Stade de Suisse Wankdorf stadium -- which cost 350 million Swiss francs ($271.3 million) -- with an uncharacteristically flashy homecoming party.

Lemur

01-11-2009, 15:21

Save the Sea Kittens (http://www.peta.org/sea_kittens/about.asp)
Clearly the octosquids are attempting to win a PR battle before engaging in the full war. Death to sea kittens! Hang them by their cute, furry necks until they are dead, dead, dead!

-edit-

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/HIPPOEATSDWARF.jpg

Lemur

01-12-2009, 00:39

For your reading and viewing pleasure: Soviet military maps of Great Britain (http://www.sovietmaps.com/history.htm).

Vladimir

01-12-2009, 13:19

Those sick, sick (http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123145414405365887.html) Belgians. :no:

Vladimir

01-12-2009, 18:24

An update, finally!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28589259/?GT1=43001

Some men of the backroom will be severely disappointed, however:

The Hairy Man -- skinny, skeezy, looks like a lost member of Jethro Tull? -- must have represented some male ideal at some point, but that is a memory we have repressed. The big toe was surely never the "magnificent erotic organ" it was made out to be.

Note: Feet and vaginas do not mix!

Lemur

01-13-2009, 04:53

Man sells daughter for beer (http://www.wtop.com/?nid=456&sid=1571313)

GREENFIELD, Calif. - Police have arrested a Greenfield man for allegedly arranging to sell his 14-year-old daughter into marriage in exchange for $16,000, 100 cases of beer and several cases of meat.

Police said they only learned of the deal after the 36-year-old man went to them to get his daughter back because payment wasn't made as promised.

-edit-

Found some important details (http://www.ksbw.com/cnn-news/18463472/detail.html) ...

Macelino de Jesus Martinez, 36, was arrested Monday on suspicion of trying to arrange to have his daughter marry Margarito de Jesus Galindo, 18, for $16,000, 100 cases of Corona, 50 cases of Modelo beer, several cases of meat, two cases of wine, 50 cases of Gatorade and 50 cases of soft drinks, authorities said.

The girl moved in with Galindo and when payments were not received, her father called police to get his daughter back.

See, the initial report did not tell me there was Gatorade involved. That changes things.

Hosakawa Tito

01-13-2009, 12:06

Yeah, he should have held out for tortilla chips & salsa.~;) He's going to ruin the market for the rest of us.~:rolleyes:

Crazed Rabbit

01-13-2009, 20:24

The death of a Crazed Rabbit (http://www.thememriblog.org/blog_personal/en/12672.htm).

I always knew Assud was a bit off the deep end.

Also, a fat woman is referred to a zoo for an MRI. (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,479782,00.html)

Including this priceless quote:

When a 5-foot, 275-pound woman found out she had a tumor on her spine, she was told by her local hospital to go the zoo to have a MRI because a regular MRI machine could not hold her weight, myfoxkc.com reported.
...
Ragan, who ended up having two surgeries and some paralysis, said she finally found an open MRI machine that held her weight, but it was embarrassing and frustrating.

“They should have machines that fit most everybody,” she said.

Guess what? They do have machines that fit most everybody - you are simply obscenely obese.
:furious3:

CR

tibilicus

01-14-2009, 02:20

Halo 3 spawns psycho killer? :inquisitive:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7826663.stm

Ronin

01-14-2009, 18:53

Halo 3 spawns psycho killer? :inquisitive:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7826663.stm

have you meet the average Xbox 360 fanboy?

||Lz3||

01-14-2009, 19:17

I hate those idiots who take the game too seriously... <.<

DId you guys heard abut the boy in Ontario [I think] who escaped his house?

Lemur

01-15-2009, 00:12

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/picnic_supplies.jpg

Lemur

01-15-2009, 03:38

Court Rules: Can't Fire Workers for Being Drunk (http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSTRE50D6J720090114?rpc=64)

LIMA (Reuters) - Peru's top court has ruled that workers cannot be fired for being drunk on the job, a decision that was criticized by the government on Wednesday for setting a dangerous precedent.

The Constitutional Tribunal ordered that Pablo Cayo be given his job back as a janitor for the municipality of Chorrillos, which fired him for being intoxicated at work.

The firing was excessive because even though Cayo was drunk, he did not offend or hurt anybody, Fernando Calle, one of the justices, said on Wednesday.

Calle said the court would not revise its decision, despite complaints from the government.

Banquo's Ghost

01-15-2009, 13:37

Today is a good day to type (http://www.cherrykeyboardsrus.co.uk/Klingon+Language-Details.htm)!

:klingon:

Gregoshi

01-15-2009, 16:37

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/picnic_supplies.jpg

Not so weird. Every picnic need condoments... ~D

Lemur

01-15-2009, 16:40

Adolf Hitler Taken From His Parents (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/01/14/adolf-hitler-campbell-tak_n_157787.html)

Adolf Hitler — the three year old, that is — is back in the news. According to New Jersey police, the state's Division of Youth and Family Services took Adolf and his two sisters, one-year-old Joyce Lynn Aryan Nation Campbell and 8-month-old Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell, from their parents' home Tuesday night.

Little Hilter and his parents got their first fifteen minutes of fame after a New Jersey supermarket refused to put his name on a birthday cake.

Gregoshi

01-15-2009, 16:47

Today is a good day to type (http://www.cherrykeyboardsrus.co.uk/Klingon+Language-Details.htm)!

:klingon:
Awesome. :2thumbsup: To reboot you HIT Ctrl-Alt-Disruptor.

Gregoshi

01-15-2009, 16:55

...the state's Division of Youth and Family Services took Adolf and his two sisters...
Ironic. Little Adolf got Anschluss-ed.

Hooahguy

01-16-2009, 15:31

Ironic. Little Adolf got Anschluss-ed.
:laugh4:

Lemur

01-16-2009, 18:53

Ex-cannibal (http://www.gazettelive.co.uk/videos-pictures/news-photos-video/2008/11/21/former-cannibal-calls-radio-station-84229-22311269/) wins "what's the most unusual thing you've ever eaten" contest.

-edit

A little background (http://ts14.gazettelive.co.uk/2008/11/cannibal_tale_mum_speaks_of_af.html):

THE identity of an unwitting "cannibal" who shocked radio listeners with the tale of her former butcher's grisly secret can be revealed today. Guisborough mum Anthea Harrison, 36, pictured, told how she may have eaten human flesh while living in Zambia.[...]

"When I was a child we lived in Africa and we always went to the same butcher. We were there a couple of years and the meat started getting so much better.

"It was only after we moved back to England a couple of years later we realised the butcher had been arrested. He was killing little black girls and selling the meat." [...]

She said: "It was a popular butcher's because he had such good meat," she said. "It was difficult to get good food over there but that was one thing that was particularly nice."

Marshal Murat

01-17-2009, 01:34

Joyce Lynn Aryan Nation Campbell

Really? Really?

||Lz3||

01-17-2009, 02:29

An old news.... but I think it hasn't been mentioned.

University opens porn course (http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_3158640.html?menu=news.quirkies)
http://www.ananova.com/images/blank.gif
http://www.ananova.com/images/blank.gif University opens porn course A university in Taiwan has opened a course to teach students how to appreciate and analyse porn movies.
The Mass Communication Department of Providence University opened the course this semester, reports United Daily News.
To pass the course, students must give a 15 minute presentation in which they analyse an audience's psychological reaction to a porn clip from an academic perspective.
One worried student, who did not wish to be named, commented: "If I get a very good score in this course, I don't know how I'll explain it to my parents."
When registering for the voluntary course, students signed a paper agreeing that if the scenes were too explicit, they could choose to leave the classroom...

Gregoshi

01-17-2009, 07:14

University opens porn course (http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_3158640.html?menu=news.quirkies)

https://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h12/gbresslr/johnbanner2.jpg

I see nothing - NOTHING!

seireikhaan

01-17-2009, 20:06

https://i182.photobucket.com/albums/x246/greaterkhaan/irony.jpg

Marshal Murat

01-19-2009, 02:55

Al-Qaeda succumbs to Allah's Greatness. (http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2146286.ece)

The killer bug, also known as the plague, swept through insurgents training at a forest camp in Algeria, North Africa. It came to light when security forces found a body by a roadside.

The victim was a terrorist in AQLIM (al-Qaeda in the Land of the Islamic Maghreb), the largest and most powerful al-Qaeda group outside the Middle East.

It trains Muslim fighters to kill British and US troops.

Now al-Qaeda chiefs fear the plague has been passed to other terror cells — or Taliban fighters in Afghanistan.

drone

01-19-2009, 17:42

So the terrorists have access to biological weapons in the form of suicide carriers? :inquisitive:

Lemur

01-21-2009, 15:29

Goat hangs itself in Calgary zoo (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/01/21/goat_incident/)

Calgary Zoo is one exotic goat short of an Arkful after a Turkmenian markhor "accidentally hanged itself" over the weekend. According to Reuters, local television carried a shock report into the incident, featuring amateur video showing the caprine corpse "hanging lifeless from a rope in its enclosure".

The zoo claims the victim "became entangled in an enrichment toy that had been in the exhibit for several years", specfically a "a ball on the end of a rope", as Reuters puts it. While the video footage did show keepers "trying to resuscitate the animal", the zoo has rather suspiciously still not explained the mysterious death of 41 stingrays in May last year.

InsaneApache

01-21-2009, 17:16

Goat hangs itself in Calgary zoo (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/01/21/goat_incident/).... the zoo has rather suspiciously still not explained the mysterious death of 41 stingrays in May last year.

Pre-emtive strike against the Octo-Squid Alliance is my bet.

lars573

01-22-2009, 05:21

Really? Really?
Yeah the parents are Neo-Nazi's loudmouths.

Fragony

01-22-2009, 12:54

Chirac was attacked by a depressed malteser poodle and had to go to the hospital to take care of his wounds. Need I say more.

Lemur

01-22-2009, 14:38

A link, for those who must get their depressed poodle Presidential assault news firsthand:

Former French President Chirac hospitalised after mauling by his clinically depressed poodle (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1126136/Former-French-President-Chirac-hospitalised-mauling-clinically-depressed-poodle.html)

Former French president Jacques Chirac was rushed to hospital after being mauled by his own 'clinically depressed' pet dog. The 76-year-old statesman was savaged by his white Maltese dog - which suffers from frenzied fits and is being treated with anti-depressants. The animal, named Sumo, had become increasingly violent over the past years and was prone to making 'vicious, unprovoked attacks', Chirac's wife Bernadette said.

Gregoshi

01-22-2009, 16:03

Former French President Chirac hospitalised after mauling by his clinically depressed poodle (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1126136/Former-French-President-Chirac-hospitalised-mauling-clinically-depressed-poodle.html)
Since the mauling was done by a maltese poodle and not a french poodle, that would make the wound a French Foreign Lesion... :drummer: <rimshot>

Vladimir

01-22-2009, 18:41

<rimshot>

Ewww. Make a pun off that one.

Lemur

01-22-2009, 19:19

Adolf Hitler's Mom: We Didn't Abuse Him! (http://www.nydailynews.com/ny_local/2009/01/21/2009-01-21_mother_of_children_named_after_nazis_we_.html)

A New Jersey mom who gave her three children Nazi-friendly names says she lost custody of the kids because a neighbor wrongly accused her and her husband of abuse. [...]

Officials at the State Department of Youth and Family Services won't say why they removed Adolf Hitler, 3; JoyceLynn Aryan Nation, 1; and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell, an infant, from the house.

The mom was told by a family court judge not to talk about the case, but she says she's violating that order in hopes of gaining public support. [Like we needed evidence that she's stupid—Lemur]

"I'm begging people to stand behind us and for an attorney to come forward," she said.

Lemur

01-22-2009, 19:31

Blow-up doll sex suspect arrested (http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/asiapcf/01/21/sex.shop.arrest/index.html)

Police in Australia have arrested a man accused of breaking into an adult shop and having sex with blow-up dolls, it was reported Wednesday.

The 23-year-old allegedly broke into the Laneway Adult Shop in the northen Australian city of Cairns on several occasions, having sex with a doll named "Jungle Jane," the Cairns Post reported.

It earlier quoted the store's owner saying the burglar always cleaned up after himself, but the dolls were dumped unceremoniously in an alleyway behind the store.

"He has been taking the dolls out the back and blowing them up and using the dolls and leaving them in the alley," he said. "It is totally bizarre."

Gregoshi

01-22-2009, 21:46

Ewww. Make a pun off that one.
Your cymbalism is really twisted Vlad.

InsaneApache

01-23-2009, 11:06

Isn't a rimshot what repressed Republicans do in public toilets? :laugh4:

Lemur

01-23-2009, 14:16

Florida man arrested for the 190th time (http://www.upi.com/Top_News/2009/01/22/Man_arrested_for_190th_time_in_Florida/UPI-95061232652328/)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/henry-ferrell.jpg

A 46-year-old man has been arrested 190 times in Florida, most recently for carjacking, police say. Police in Boca Raton, Fla., said Henry Farrell was arrested this week for allegedly attempting to steal a truck from an unidentified man, the Palm Beach (Fla.) Post said Thursday. Police spokeswoman Sandra Boonenberg said the arrest of Farrell following Tuesday night's theft did not mark anything new for area police. [...]

Boonenberg added that Farrell, whose first arrest came when he was 20, has been arrested in 12 Florida counties. Charges against Farrell have ranged from Tuesday's additional charges of possession of marijuana and possession of paraphernalia to a grand theft charge from Jan. 8.

Crazed Rabbit

01-23-2009, 19:54

Someone needs to get all the photos and put them in a slide show like those that were popular on youtube a ways back, with daily pictures taken for months or years.

In other news, don't bring bow and arrows to a gun fight. (http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/metropolitan/6219604.html)

A woman accused of shooting a man with a bow and arrow at her father's workplace before being shot by two civilians and a Houston police officer has been charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.

CR

Lemur

01-23-2009, 19:58

This clearly shows why we need stricter Bow Control laws in this great nation. (Oh, wait, I'd better work in a pun or two if I'm going to keep any credibility in this thread.)

Um, she certainly strung them along until she bowed to the inevitable.

Evil_Maniac From Mars

01-23-2009, 20:23

She certainly kept everyone hanging by a string...

Gregoshi

01-23-2009, 20:25

Isn't a rimshot what repressed Republicans do in public toilets? :laugh4:
Now they can do it in public to the Democratic majority in Congress (even more cymbalism...) ~D

Pannonian

01-23-2009, 20:42

This is just a row over nothing. I was quivering with excitement over a new NotW post, until I bowed down to its mediocrity.

Gregoshi

01-23-2009, 21:30

This is just a row over nothing. I was quivering with excitement over a new NotW post, until I bowed down to its mediocrity.
Yeah, no quarrel here.

woad&fangs

01-23-2009, 23:25

Children to be Banned from Libraries (http://www.tricities.com/tri/news/local/article/banning_children_from_public_libraries_only_option_under_new_federal_lead-t/18772)

BRISTOL, Va. – Barring a drastic change in legal interpretation, public libraries across the nation might soon consider banning children.

The American Library Association, a nationwide library advocacy organization, fears such bans are the only option left available by a new federal lead-testing law that takes effect Feb. 10.

:study:

Ronin

01-23-2009, 23:55

naut

01-24-2009, 04:10

Children are entitled to books, just as everyone else is. Tale me it ain't so!

Pannonian

01-24-2009, 05:23

I've never really taken to these spoken word books, as I'm tome-deaf.

rasoforos

01-24-2009, 13:26

http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSTRE50M4XT20090124

Its a baaaaaad goat...

Gregoshi

01-24-2009, 15:54

http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSTRE50M4XT20090124

Its a baaaaaad goat...
They call him "Billy the Kid"...

InsaneApache

01-24-2009, 17:50

That's a bit gruff Greg.

Crazed Rabbit

01-25-2009, 06:05

Have you ever thought; "I've got a loaded pistol in my hand, but I'd also like to be able to stab my enemy!" ?

Well your wish has been granted: http://www.laserlyte.com/New_Products/New_PB_1.html

https://img238.imageshack.us/img238/782/pb10sstc2.jpg

CR

Gregoshi

01-25-2009, 15:18

For the sharpshooter in us all...

InsaneApache

01-25-2009, 15:25

You've got a point there mate.

Kralizec

01-25-2009, 15:38

A bayonet for a pistol? Not exactly cutting edge weaponry, is it? :inquisitive:

KukriKhan

01-25-2009, 15:50

It's been done

https://jimcee.homestead.com/apache2-tm.jpg

LittleGrizzly

01-25-2009, 16:05

A gun, a knife and a set of knuckle dusters in one!

impressive!

KukriKhan

01-25-2009, 16:09

Allegedly nick-named the Ah-pah-shay (Apache) by the alleged Parisian street gang-bangers of the 1800's.

Gregoshi

01-25-2009, 16:11

Here's an even (ahem) "better" combination of the gun/blade concept. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDvuBY97cD4) :no:

Marshal Murat

01-25-2009, 16:18

I feel like I was strung along by that "flying sword" concept.

Hosakawa Tito

01-26-2009, 13:46

That British sense of humor. (http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/23/world/europe/23crapstone.html?_r=1&partner=rss&emc=rss&src=ig) The perfect summer vacation trip for a group of adolescent boys; complete with group pictures and post cards. I'll even go along to chaperone.

Do you know the way to Titty Ho ?:laugh4:

Lemur

01-26-2009, 20:13

3D Sex and Zen (http://www.livenews.com.au/Articles/2009/01/25/3D_porn_to_revolutionise_industry)

Hong Kong film makers are preparing to leave filmgoers goggle-eyed by releasing the world's first pornographic movie in 3D, a news report said on Sunday.

Shooting on the Chinese-language film 3D Sex And Zen, budgeted at 4 million US dollars, is scheduled for April with producers promising some of the most realistic close-up sex scenes ever.

"Just imagine that you'll be watching it as if you were sitting beside the bed," Stephen Shiu Jnr told the Sunday Morning Post.

"There will be many close-ups. It will look as if the actresses are only a few centimetres from the audience." [...]

However Shiu admitted casting for the film was proving difficult.

"We're having trouble finding a male lead who is willing to undress in front of the camera," he told the Post.

"It's a lot more difficult to find an actor than an actress for this kind of film," he said.

Seamus Fermanagh

01-26-2009, 22:19

Gregoshi

01-26-2009, 22:42

As fun as the old Reading railroad line having consecutive stops as Blue Balls, Intercourse, and Paradise.
That is "Blue Ball" Seamus. And don't forget nearby Bird-in-Hand.

InsaneApache

01-27-2009, 22:52

A letter of complaint to Mr. Branson.

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/blog/editors_corner/article/11975/

Dear Mr Branson

REF: Mumbai to Heathrow 7th December 2008

I love the Virgin brand, I really do which is why I continue to use it despite a series of unfortunate incidents over the last few years. This latest incident takes the biscuit.

Ironically, by the end of the flight I would have gladly paid over a thousand rupees for a single biscuit following the culinary journey of hell I was subjected to at the hands of your corporation.

Look at this Richard. Just look at it:

I imagine the same questions are racing through your brilliant mind as were racing through mine on that fateful day. What is this? Why have I been given it? What have I done to deserve this? And, which one is the starter, which one is the desert?

You don't get to a position like yours Richard with anything less than a generous sprinkling of observational power so I KNOW you will have spotted the tomato next to the two yellow shafts of sponge on the left. Yes, it's next to the sponge shaft without the green paste. That's got to be the clue hasn't it. No sane person would serve a desert with a tomato would they. Well answer me this Richard, what sort of animal would serve a desert with peas in:

I know it looks like a baaji but it's in custard Richard, custard. It must be the pudding. Well you'll be fascinated to hear that it wasn't custard. It was a sour gel with a clear oil on top. It's only redeeming feature was that it managed to be so alien to my palette that it took away the taste of the curry emanating from our miscellaneous central cuboid of beige matter. Perhaps the meal on the left might be the desert after all.

Anyway, this is all irrelevant at the moment. I was raised strictly but neatly by my parents and if they knew I had started desert before the main course, a sponge shaft would be the least of my worries. So lets peel back the tin-foil on the main dish and see what's on offer.

I'll try and explain how this felt. Imagine being a twelve year old boy Richard. Now imagine it's Christmas morning and you're sat their with your final present to open. It's a big one, and you know what it is. It's that Goodmans stereo you picked out the catalogue and wrote to Santa about.

Only you open the present and it's not in there. It's your hamster Richard. It's your hamster in the box and it's not breathing. That's how I felt when I peeled back the foil and saw this:

Now I know what you're thinking. You're thinking it's more of that Baaji custard. I admit I thought the same too, but no. It's mustard Richard. MUSTARD. More mustard than any man could consume in a month. On the left we have a piece of broccoli and some peppers in a brown glue-like oil and on the right the chef had prepared some mashed potato. The potato masher had obviously broken and so it was decided the next best thing would be to pass the potatoes through the digestive tract of a bird.

Once it was regurgitated it was clearly then blended and mixed with a bit of mustard. Everybody likes a bit of mustard Richard.

By now I was actually starting to feel a little hypoglycaemic. I needed a sugar hit. Luckily there was a small cookie provided. It had caught my eye earlier due to it's baffling presentation:

It appears to be in an evidence bag from the scene of a crime. A CRIME AGAINST BLOODY COOKING. Either that or some sort of back-street underground cookie, purchased off a gun-toting maniac high on his own supply of yeast. You certainly wouldn't want to be caught carrying one of these through customs. Imagine biting into a piece of brass Richard. That would be softer on the teeth than the specimen above.

I was exhausted. All I wanted to do was relax but obviously I had to sit with that mess in front of me for half an hour. I swear the sponge shafts moved at one point.

Once cleared, I decided to relax with a bit of your world-famous onboard entertainment. I switched it on:

I apologise for the quality of the photo, it's just it was incredibly hard to capture Boris Johnson's face through the flickering white lines running up and down the screen. Perhaps it would be better on another channel:

Is that Ray Liotta? A question I found myself asking over and over again throughout the gruelling half-hour I attempted to watch the film like this. After that I switched off. I'd had enough. I was the hungriest I'd been in my adult life and I had a splitting headache from squinting at a crackling screen.

My only option was to simply stare at the seat in front and wait for either food, or sleep. Neither came for an incredibly long time. But when it did it surpassed my wildest expectations:

Yes! It's another crime-scene cookie. Only this time you dunk it in the white stuff.

Richard.... What is that white stuff? It looked like it was going to be yoghurt. It finally dawned on me what it was after staring at it. It was a mixture between the Baaji custard and the Mustard sauce. It reminded me of my first week at university. I had overheard that you could make a drink by mixing vodka and refreshers. I lied to my new friends and told them I'd done it loads of times. When I attempted to make the drink in a big bowl it formed a cheese Richard, a cheese. That cheese looked a lot like your baaji-mustard.

So that was that Richard. I didn't eat a bloody thing. My only question is: How can you live like this? I can't imagine what dinner round your house is like, it must be like something out of a nature documentary.

As I said at the start I love your brand, I really do. It's just a shame such a simple thing could bring it crashing to it's knees and begging for sustenance.

Yours Sincererly...

:laugh4:

Gregoshi

01-28-2009, 00:43

A letter of complaint to Mr. Branson.
:laugh4:
That was a thing of beauty. :laugh4:

InsaneApache

01-28-2009, 13:11

https://img297.imageshack.us/img297/9097/obamaqs8.th.png (https://img297.imageshack.us/my.php?image=obamaqs8.png)

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_ZI9ZC-oL5KQ/SX2jOisrG-I/AAAAAAAAEJU/1HagVvloXNc/s1600-h/obama.png

:laugh4:

Vladimir

01-28-2009, 20:11

Tough times for porn, booze (http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/Investing/CompanyFocus/tough-times-for-porn-booze-sellers.aspx).

In this economy, even the wages of sin aren't what they used to be.

Market lore says people keep spending on sex, booze, butts and slots in hard times, no matter what. Sin is supposedly recession-proof.

But the widespread weakness among so-called sin stocks suggests the downturn has converted a lot of sinners into saints.

Hooahguy

01-28-2009, 21:14

obama tries to walk through a window.... (http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/2009/01/28/2009-01-28_hey_bam_thats_not_the_door.html)

It looks like President Obama hasn't gotten acquainted to his White House surroundings. On the way back to the Oval Office Tuesday, the President approached a paned window, instead of the actual door -- located a few feet to his right.

Lemur

01-29-2009, 05:14

Lemur is going to die from cancer any minute now (http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/01/090126082343.htm?ref=aggre_pop)

Men who are very sexually active in their twenties and thirties are more likely to develop prostate cancer, especially if they masturbate frequently, according to a study of more than 800 men. [...]

“Overall we found a significant association between prostate cancer and sexual activity in a man’s twenties and between masturbation and prostate cancer in the twenties and thirties. However there was no significant association between sexual activity and prostate cancer in a man’s forties.

“A possible explanation for the protective effect that men in their fifties appear to receive from overall sexual activity, and particularly masturbation, is that the release of accumulated toxins during sexual activity reduces the risk of developing cancer in the prostate area. This theory has, however, not been firmly established and further research is necessary.”

Strike For The South

01-29-2009, 06:12

Sasaki Kojiro

01-29-2009, 09:08

It seems that jellyfish have discovered how to be immortal:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/wildlife/4357829/Immortal-jellyfish-swarming-across-the-world.html

CountArach

01-29-2009, 12:17

Hooahguy

01-29-2009, 13:06

It seems that jellyfish have discovered how to be immortal:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/wildlife/4357829/Immortal-jellyfish-swarming-across-the-world.html
uh-oh.

FactionHeir

01-29-2009, 13:32

Fireman burn down fire station (http://uk.news.yahoo.com/22/20090129/tod-oukoe-uk-japan-fire-b7e5c6f.html)

CountArach

01-29-2009, 13:50

Fireman burn down fire station (http://uk.news.yahoo.com/22/20090129/tod-oukoe-uk-japan-fire-b7e5c6f.html)
Hot off the press!

Pannonian

01-29-2009, 17:58

Did anyone get fired?

Gregoshi

01-29-2009, 18:56

Lemur is going to die from cancer any minute now (http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/01/090126082343.htm?ref=aggre_pop)
Lemur, if only you were a jellyfish...

Vladimir

01-29-2009, 21:12

Wow (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28916090/). Detroit Sucks.

Fragony

01-30-2009, 14:11

Did anyone get fired?

That reminds me

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v494/Fragony/haveltecheese.jpg
:laugh4:

InsaneApache

01-30-2009, 16:25

I'm sooo tempted to cry out the old pantomime refrain..."It's behind you!" :laugh4:

Lemur

01-30-2009, 22:00

Tree goats. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQev3UoGp2M) Need I say more?

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/argantreegoats.jpg

Uesugi Kenshin

01-31-2009, 19:01

Tree goats. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQev3UoGp2M) Need I say more?

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/argantreegoats.jpg

From what my Anthro professor, who did a study in Morocco, was telling me kids in Morocco put these goats in trees to attract tourists.

I think they got a little overzealous here.....

KukriKhan

01-31-2009, 20:51

Taking the recession Bull by the Horns, Canon (http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/asiapcf/01/26/canon.babies/index.html?iref=24hours) sends workers home early.

Cutting back on hours?

In a country where 12-hour workdays are common, the electronics giant has taken to letting its employees leave early twice a week for a rather unusual reason: to encourage them to have more babies.

Lemur

02-01-2009, 15:54

... kids in Morocco put these goats in trees to attract tourists.
I really don't know about that. Watch the video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQev3UoGp2M) I linked; them goats know how to maneuver in a tree.

Meanwhile, a father sues a library for $20k (http://www.ncac.org/Father_Seeks_20k_in_Damages_For_Lesbian_Sex_Book) because his sons found The Whole Lesbian Sex Book. How, exactly, did a pair of horny teenage boys find a book on lesbian sex? According to the father, they were "searching for material on military academies." Uh-huh. Suuuuure they were. (I can't help but think if I were 16 and caught with a book on lesbian sex I would have come up with a more plausible excuse.)

From here I can't improve on the original article:

Adams said that finding the books “greatly disturbed” his sons and that the book caused “many sleepless nights in our house.”

Yes, it's likely the 16 and 14 year-old boys had great agitation as they thought about hot lesbian sex, making sleep difficult.

This isn't quite as amazingly silly as the guy who sued for his missing pants, but it's close.

Lemur

02-01-2009, 19:34

Baby born with 12 fingers and 12 toes (http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2009/01/31/Baby_born_with_12_fingers_12_toes/UPI-29201233431826/)

A baby born in San Francisco has six perfectly formed and functional fingers and toes on his hands and feet, say doctors at Saint Luke's Hospital.

Kamani Hubbard's extra digits look so normal they weren't noticed at first, said his mother, Miryoki Gross, of Daly City.

CountArach

02-01-2009, 22:15

Lemur

02-01-2009, 22:25

I think what's got everyone worked up is not the incidence of polydactyly, but rather that the baby has it on both hands and both feet, and that the fingers and toes are so perfectly developed that nobody noticed until they counted. That's unusual.

Strike For The South

02-01-2009, 22:25

Maybe in Mississippi, but San Francisco? That's news!

:brood:

Hooahguy

02-01-2009, 22:35

baby chimps are smarter than human ones? (http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/environment/article5627359.ece)

CountArach

02-02-2009, 01:43

:brood:
I'll get my coat.

Evil_Maniac From Mars

02-02-2009, 22:14

Super Bowl Pr0n (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/7864733.stm)

Fisherking

02-03-2009, 11:29

Dutch Guy with foot odder wins court order to return to university…after only 10 years!

http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/odd/a145416/smelly-feet-man-wins-legal-bid-to-study.html?imdb

Them must be some stinky feet, boy!!! :laugh4:

Has he tried soap?

Banquo's Ghost

02-03-2009, 20:28

Lemur

02-03-2009, 20:31

No, we really are all dead.

Since I can't better the original spine-chilling headline announcing the Octosquid's Armageddon Weapon, here it is:

Immortal Dr Who Jellyfish Poised to Rule Earth. (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/02/03/jellyfish_gone_wilder/)

May God have mercy on our gelatinous bits.
Ahem. (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showpost.php?p=2121124&postcount=3154) Not only is this a blatant case of Lemur's Disease, it's also super-hot mod-on-mod action.

FactionHeir

02-03-2009, 20:45

Customers to decide the bill. (http://uk.news.yahoo.com/18/20090203/tuk-london-eatery-lets-customer-decide-b-a7ad41d.html)
New business model or fast track to bankruptcy?

Lemur

02-03-2009, 21:20

Surgeons Remove Woman's Kidney Through Her Vagina (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090203/ap_on_he_me/med_vaginal_kidney_removal)

But here's the truly weird bit: They think this will make people more likely to donate organs.

Surgeons removed a woman's kidney through her vagina so she could give it to her ailing niece, an unusual operation they hope will encourage others to donate [...] "It was easier than childbirth," said Johnson, who has three children.

Papewaio

02-03-2009, 21:24

Maybe in Mississippi, but San Francisco? That's news!

Particularly as San Fran has difficulty in matching the required pairs for successful mating. :laugh4: :coffeenews: :laugh4:

Gregoshi

02-03-2009, 21:28

Surgeons Remove Woman's Kidney Through Her Vagina (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090203/ap_on_he_me/med_vaginal_kidney_removal)

That's one way to have a kid(ney).

Lemur

02-03-2009, 21:38

Australian arrested with two pigeons in his pants (http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/02/03/ap/strange/main4772892.shtml?source=RSS&attr=_4772892)

An Australian traveler was caught with two live pigeons stuffed in his pants following a trip to the Middle East, customs officials said Tuesday. [...] They found the pigeons wrapped in padded envelopes and held to each of the man's legs with a pair of tights, according to a statement released by the agency. Officials also seized seeds in his money belt and an undeclared eggplant.

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/pigeonpantsAP_450x350.jpg

Gregoshi

02-03-2009, 22:21

Australian arrested with two pigeons in his pants (http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/02/03/ap/strange/main4772892.shtml?source=RSS&attr=_4772892)

No, no! It is "A bird in hand...", not "pants"!

Quietus

02-04-2009, 06:19

Bra for Boys is Bestseller. :skull:

http://uk.reuters.com/news/video?videoId=94348&videoChannel=77

Hooahguy

02-04-2009, 13:27

Australian arrested with two pigeons in his pants (http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/02/03/ap/strange/main4772892.shtml?source=RSS&attr=_4772892)

An Australian traveler was caught with two live pigeons stuffed in his pants following a trip to the Middle East, customs officials said Tuesday. [...] They found the pigeons wrapped in padded envelopes and held to each of the man's legs with a pair of tights, according to a statement released by the agency. Officials also seized seeds in his money belt and an undeclared eggplant.

what would he want with two pigeons? :inquisitive:
:shrug:

Hosakawa Tito

02-04-2009, 14:38

what would he want with two pigeons? :inquisitive:
:shrug:

He was hoping to get caught to show off his sexy legs.

naut

02-04-2009, 16:24

I guess he's attracted to chicks.

Gregoshi

02-04-2009, 16:44

what would he want with two pigeons? :inquisitive:
:shrug:
To keep his fly up?

Crazed Rabbit

02-04-2009, 19:15

You guys have just pigeonholed him as a birdbrained cuckoo without listening to his side of the story.

CR

CountArach

02-05-2009, 00:02

He's always gotten the birds.

Lemur

02-05-2009, 04:00

AP doesn't know the difference between Kor, Kang or Koleth Batleth Swords (losers) (http://war-and-battle.com/Klingon_Batleth_Swords.html)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/mcgarrySWNS250506_450x400.jpg

Colorado police say a man with too much "Star Trek" on his mind used a sword modeled after the weapon carried by Klingon warriors to demand money from two convenience stores.

Investigators say the man took an unknown amount of cash from a 7-Eleven store Wednesday but left empty-handed when he tried to rob another store about 25 minutes later. [...] The StarTrek.com Web site says the double-pointed sword used by the Klingons on "Star Trek" is crescent-shaped and about a yard long. Police did not specify what material it was made of.

Hooahguy

02-05-2009, 13:12

blasphemers! :furious3:

but on second thought, that would be a really convenient CQC weapon. its like darth mauls lightsaber.

InsaneApache

02-05-2009, 14:02

Let's hope that the coppers cling onto him.

Gregoshi

02-05-2009, 15:21

Let's hope that the coppers cling onto him.
<Gregoshi sets phaser to "kill">

Crazed Rabbit

02-05-2009, 16:41

Bill Gates releases a swarm of mosquitoes (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,488348,00.html)on a crowd listening to his speech.

"Malaria is spread by mosquitoes," Gates said while opening a jar onstage at the Technology, Entertainment, Design Conference — a gathering known to attract technology kings, politicians, and Hollywood stars.

"I brought some. Here I'll let them roam around. There is no reason only poor people should be infected."

CR

Gregoshi

02-05-2009, 17:23

Bill Gates releases a swarm of mosquitoes (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,488348,00.html)on a crowd listening to his speech.

I see Bill is still releasing bugs... :laugh4:

Crazed Rabbit

02-05-2009, 17:26

They're not bugs, they're features of his presentation.

CR

Gregoshi

02-05-2009, 19:17

They're not bugs, they're features of his presentation.

:laugh4: Good one!

Too bad those features suck. ~D

Crazed Rabbit

02-05-2009, 19:53

Yup, they might contain mal-ware as well.

CR

Fisherking

02-05-2009, 19:57

:laugh4: Good one!

Too bad those features suck. ~D

We all know about Microsoft features…those features put viruses into your system.:inquisitive:

Gregoshi

02-05-2009, 21:15

We all know about Microsoft features…those features put viruses into your system.:inquisitive:
Like malware-ia? :2thumbsup:

Husar

02-06-2009, 03:11

Well, I actually like the idea.
Not just because it was bill gates but because of what he said to the audience.
Maybe I'm a little sadistic sometimes. ~D

woad&fangs

02-07-2009, 04:04

Priceless Dinosaur Dung Stolen From London Museum (http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574,24993845-23109,00.html)

THIEVES stole a lump of fossilised dinosaur dung from London's Natural History Museum, it was revealed today.

According to a list of specimens stolen or lost from the museum's collection over the past five years, the 65-million-year-old piece of dung, or coprolite, measuring about 7.5cm, was stolen while it was secured in a clamp on display in 2006.

The exhibit is believed to have come from a plant-eating dinosaur known as titanosaurus.
Police were informed of the theft but no further action was taken.

A spokesman for the museum said it was impossible to put a value on the dung.
Natural History Museum director of science professor Richard Lane said all items in the collections were of scientific and national value.

"Many are literally priceless,'' Professor Lane told Britain's The Sunday Telegraph.

Fragony

02-07-2009, 15:58

http://www.bild.de/BILD/news/vermischtes/2009/02/07/lotto-serie/millionen-gewonnen-und-wieder-verloren.html

You hear this a lot, winning the lottery ruins people's life.

Lemur

02-08-2009, 21:06

You want the truth? You want the truth? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! (http://www.darkroastedblend.com/2009/02/awesome-octopi-cephalopods-from-outer.html)

-edit-

In much the same vein, I strongly recommend that any Orgahs on Facebook join this group (http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2413407962).

Hooahguy

02-08-2009, 22:48

haha! great facebook group! i joined it....

CountArach

02-09-2009, 01:28

Consider me a member of hte Anti-Octosquid Alliance.

Lemur

02-09-2009, 15:13

Injured deer seeks treatment at Petsmart (http://www.toledoblade.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20090208/NEWS16/902080368)

An injured, bleeding deer that wandered into the rear of a Rossford pet store Saturday was treated by a veterinary team there, then ran free into a rural area, police reported. [...] [T]he store's veterinary team stitched up the deer's injured leg and administered antibiotics. The deer remained calm while it was being treated, then got to its feet and fled, Officer Skala said.

Gregoshi

02-09-2009, 17:34

I can see the (misleading) advertising campaign now: "PetSmart - where you can get veterinary care for a buck."

Vladimir

02-09-2009, 18:59

Looks like I'll have to make new vacation plans.

Naked hikers face spot fines in Swiss canton (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29094739/?GT1=43001)

Pannonian

02-09-2009, 20:42

Looks like I'll have to make new vacation plans.

Naked hikers face spot fines in Swiss canton (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29094739/?GT1=43001)
No ifs or butts, you're nekkid me matey.

Gregoshi

02-09-2009, 21:46

Naked hikers face spot fines in Swiss canton (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29094739/?GT1=43001)
Locals are reported to have found these naked mountaineers repelling...

Vladimir

02-09-2009, 22:12

Locals are reported to have found these naked mountaineers repelling...

Ewww. Anyone here ever work a Swiss seat? Can you imagine it?

English assassin

02-10-2009, 12:21

I say "knickers" to intolerance.

You, like me, may feel that men beating up women in bars is a bad idea. So, what are you going to do about it? Send them chaddis, that's what.

Underwear protest at India attack

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/7880377.stm?lss

I am also quite excited by the mere existence of the Consortium of Pub-going, Loose and Forward Women, at least in its Indian incarnation. If they open a chapter in Hull I'd rather not hear about it.

Gregoshi

02-10-2009, 14:40

You, like me, may feel that men beating up women in bars is a bad idea. So, what are you going to do about it? Send them chaddis, that's what.

A thong of women chucking pink undies at these uptight pruds is a perfect response. It will probably be the only action these guys have gotten since their moms breast fed them.

KukriKhan

02-12-2009, 05:50

One hopes the chucked chaddis will be (ummm..) chaste. Chure they will.

Geez, I'm no good at these punny thingees; why do I even try, in the company of the greats? Uuu, I know: to amuse them with my puny human efforts. :)

Rhyfelwyr

02-12-2009, 20:10

Thirsty anyone? (http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/food_and_drink/article5707554.ece)

Vladimir

02-12-2009, 20:22

Thirsty anyone? (http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/food_and_drink/article5707554.ece)

They must be taking the piss!

Gregoshi

02-12-2009, 23:12

It'll take a marketing wiz to get this sold in the US. They'll have to go deceptive by calling it "Dr. Peeper", "Peepsi" or "Moollow Yellow".

drone

02-12-2009, 23:52

It'll take a marketing wiz to get this sold in the US. They'll have to go deceptive by calling it "Dr. Peeper", "Peepsi" or "Moollow Yellow".

Or Bud Light. ~D

Husar

02-13-2009, 01:28

Today I had two customers using this fancy new credit card (http://www.paygay.de/) (Ok, it's actually six years old according to the news page but i never saw it before).

Never seen it before, but found it pretty weird, if the name of a credit card is supposed to be a statement, then is MasterCard insulting to afro americans? :sweatdrop:

Strike For The South

02-13-2009, 02:16

drone

02-13-2009, 23:49

Leeuwarden loses it's pr0n archive. (http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/E/EU_ODD_NETHERLANDS_PURLOINED_PORN?SITE=AP&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2009-02-12-12-28-57)
Dutch city fears loss of pornography archive

By TOBY STERLING
Associated Press Writer

AMSTERDAM (AP) -- The municipal pornography archive in the Dutch city of Leeuwarden is missing and officials fear it may be gone for good.

Spokesman Erik Krikke of the city's historical center said the archive - which contained photos, drawings and erotic texts with a connection to the city - may have been taken home "accidentally" by an employee or visitor.

"We're hoping that someone will say 'Hey, I have that in my attic' and bring it back," he said Thursday. "No questions asked."

Holland rules. :2thumbsup:

Lemur

02-14-2009, 21:01

"Rape simulator" pulled from Amazon's U.K. site (http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/local-national/amazon-selling-3d-rape-simulator-game-14183546.html)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/512945.jpg

A game that involves the player stalking victims and then raping them in a virtual world is being offered for sale by online retailer Amazon.com, the Belfast Telegraph's website can reveal. The shocking 'rape simulator', Rapelay, is set in Japan and carries a sickening game description on the Amazon website. An MP said last night that he plans to raise the issue in Parliament. Reviews by gaming websites have expressed horror at the basis for the game. One website review describes "tears glistening in the young girl's eyes" as she is attacked in graphic detail.

More detail from Ars Technica (http://arstechnica.com/gaming/news/2009/02/video-game-featuring-virtual-rape-pulled-from-amazon.ars).

Hmm, judging by the gameplay footage (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_MNYaOcSI4) it's nothing more than a hentai-flavored dumbed-down Sims 2. With more rape.

Kralizec

02-14-2009, 23:37

FactionHeir

02-18-2009, 10:12

Boy marries dog. (http://uk.news.yahoo.com/5/20090218/twl-toddler-weds-dog-to-avoid-indian-tig-3fd0ae9.html)

That's about as odd as it gets.

naut

02-18-2009, 10:23

Argh. I wouldn't want to see the potential marital fighting. Although the wife would be all bark and no bite.

Vladimir

02-18-2009, 15:05

Instead of snakes on a plane we have Britons on a Train (http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/crime/article5755728.ece).

Seriously; what problem do these people have with "loosing" classified papers on trains. :wall:

Romanus

02-18-2009, 17:46

Boy marries dog. (http://uk.news.yahoo.com/5/20090218/twl-toddler-weds-dog-to-avoid-indian-tig-3fd0ae9.html)

That's about as odd as it gets.

Boy marries bitch you mean?:beam:

ShadesPanther

02-18-2009, 23:51

Boy marries dog. (http://uk.news.yahoo.com/5/20090218/twl-toddler-weds-dog-to-avoid-indian-tig-3fd0ae9.html)

That's about as odd as it gets.

Why would he marry someone like her? She's just a total bitch.

Gregoshi

02-19-2009, 04:29

Why would he marry someone like her? She's just a total bitch.
Maybe so, but guys will do anything for a little tail.

Sasaki Kojiro

02-19-2009, 04:48

I can see the (misleading) advertising campaign now: "PetSmart - where you can get veterinary care for a buck."

:laugh4::laugh4: this cracks me up...

Gregoshi

02-19-2009, 05:01

:laugh4::laugh4: this cracks me up...
Um, I'm not gonna say you are slow Sasaki, but nine days? ~:pat:

FactionHeir

02-19-2009, 12:01

Quick, get run over by a train today and get paid for it (http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/02/18/drunk.amputee.payout/index.html)

Lemur

02-20-2009, 23:27

I want my very own fainting goat (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=we9_CdNPuJg).

Lemur

02-20-2009, 23:42

Boy killed when office chair explodes up his anus (http://i.gizmodo.com/5157354/boy-killed-anally-when-office-chair-explodes)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/anal-chair-death.jpg

A 14-year-old boy in China was killed when his chair exploded, sending chunks of metal into his rectum. The bleeding this caused killed him.

The alleged explosion came from the gas cylinder that was in the base of the chair, the part that allowed the user to adjust the seat up and down. The canister gets compressed when you sit on it, but can it actually create enough energy to make the seat cushion explode like that and kill a man? I doubt it, but this is what people are reporting.

InsaneApache

02-21-2009, 12:44

I want my very own fainting goat (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=we9_CdNPuJg).

I'm sure that was posted at the beginning of this thread. You must be poorly again! :laugh4:

Crazed Rabbit

02-21-2009, 18:45

The otters are doing reconnaissance! (http://www.santacruzsentinel.com/portlet/article/html/imageDisplay.jsp?contentItemRelationshipId=2320400) But who are the helping? The octosquids?! Let us hope not.

Also, mid-westerners show the proper way to demolish a house. (http://www.wimp.com/bigboom/)

CR

Gregoshi

02-21-2009, 18:56

Also, mid-westerners show the proper way to demolish a house. (http://www.wimp.com/bigboom/)
Awesome! I wonder how many kegs of beer TNT they used? It was hard to tell from the video, but in the slo-mo replay it looked like that cannon had one heck of a recoil.

seireikhaan

02-22-2009, 01:33

Also, mid-westerners show the proper way to demolish a house. (http://www.wimp.com/bigboom/)
Are you implying there's a better way to do it? :inquisitive:

Lemur

02-22-2009, 06:17

The Bookseller magazine's shortlist for 2008's Oddest Book Title (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/culturenews/4736283/Shortlist-of-six-of-the-nations-strangest-book-titles-revealed.html) is out:

Baboon Metaphysics by Dorothy Dorothy L Cheney and Robert M Seyfarth (University of Chicago Press)
Curbside Consultation of the Colon by Brooks D Cash (SLACK Incorporated)
The Large Sieve and its Applications by Emmanuel Kowalski (Cambridge University Press)
Strip and Knit with Style by Mark Hordyszynski (C&T)
Techniques for Corrosion Monitoring by Lietai Yang (Woodhead)
The 2009-2014 World Outlook for 60-milligram Containers of Fromage Frais by Professor Philip M Parker (Icon Group International)

Sales Analyst at The Bookseller, Philip Stone said: "We received a huge number of entries this year and the debate was furious as to which would be included on the shortlist. Six seems such a cruelly low number given titles such as Excrement in the Late Middle Ages and All Dogs Have ADHD were rejected.

Crazed Rabbit

02-22-2009, 06:49

Techniques for Corrosion Monitoring by Lietai Yang (Woodhead)

That's not weird. :inquisitive:

CR

Lemur

02-22-2009, 18:45

I know, CR, it's clearly an engineering book. What kinda idjit puts that on the shortlist but ignores Excrement in the Late Middle Ages? Meanwhile ...

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/kittyswallow.jpg

InsaneApache

02-23-2009, 00:07

I bet that's the first pussy he's swallowed. Ever. :embarassed::laugh4:

Louis VI the Fat

02-23-2009, 12:53

I bet that's the first pussy he's swallowed. Ever. :embarassed::laugh4:That's the bright side of it! Gender equality at last for the question 'do you swallow?'

The 2009-2014 World Outlook for 60-milligram Containers of Fromage Frais by Professor Philip M Parker That's not weird. :inquisitive:

Lemur

02-23-2009, 18:34

Feeling stressed? A television reporter has a unique solution (http://www.straitstimes.com/Breaking%2BNews/World/Story/STIStory_275486.html) to your problem:

A Hong Kong television reporter who quit his job after he was arrested for masturbating naked on a bus said he was only trying to 'ease his stress', reports said on Friday.

Chiu Yu kit, a former journalist at Asia Television (ATV), admitted in court to the act while he was alone on the top tier of a double-decker bus on July 31, The Standard and other newspapers reported.

An off-duty officer made the arrest after he jogged past the bus and saw Chiu standing on a seat naked and facing a window, the court was told.

Chiu, 31, pleaded guilty to one count of indecency in public, but added that he committed the offence only to release his stress. [...]

Last month, a 'lonely and disturbed' Hong Kong man became stuck and had to be freed by emergency services after attempting to have sex with a park bench.

Conqueror

02-23-2009, 20:53

I don't know what "maximum security" stands for in Greek prisons, but it seems that as long as you've got some buddies with a helicopter (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/greece/4782561/Greek-prisoner-escapes-from-maximum-security-jail-for-the-second-time.html), you won't be staying for long.

Greece's most notorious prisoner and his accomplice escaped from a maximum-security prison in Athens on Sunday in a Hollywood-style helicopter getaway – for the second time.

Lemur

02-24-2009, 01:07

Couple who met playing Halo online have the world's first Halo-themed wedding (http://www.greenpixels.com/articles/features/2449/We-Had-a-Halo-Wedding). This has to be some kind of ultimate geek fantasy ...

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/26649_Romance_Feature_-_Halo_Weddin.jpg

"After the reception we had a bride-versus-groom Halo tournament in place of the first dance. To keep with the theme, I wanted to find a creative way to give away the bouquet and garter. So the guys and girls fought each other in a slayer match for them. I liked the idea of people having to earn the garter or bouquet instead of just reaching up and catching it. Who won? John did…by two kills."

Fragony

02-24-2009, 15:23

This has to be some kind of ultimate geek fantasy ...

well http://www.ukresistance.co.uk/2009/02/uks-hottest-halo-fan.html

Papewaio

02-24-2009, 22:43

Stingrays join the Octosquid Alliance.

The Alliance has a new line of heavy lifters to raise them from the sediment of the ocean all the way to the river banks as Stingrays now join the fray.

A BRITISH biologist on a working holiday in Thailand has captured a 55-stone (349kg) stingray (http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574,25104114-13762,00.html) - the biggest freshwater fish ever caught using a rod and line.

The Sun reports Ian Welch, 45, spent 90 minutes reeling in the giant stingray and it took 13 men to lift it out of the water.

The stingray measured 7ft (2.1m) long and 7ft (2.1m) wide, while its poisonous barbed tail measured 10ft (3m). The previous record was a 46-stone (292kg) catfish caught in 2005.