News of the Weird

[Lemur]

I'm not sure what that means.
I'm tempted to link to video, but the movie the quote is from contains so many f-bombs, it wouldn't be safe. Let's just leave it at this (http://oldglory.com/lp/Big-Lebowski-Marmot-T-Shirt/p/039387MOTS).

[drone]

I'm tempted to link to video, but the movie the quote is from contains so many f-bombs, it wouldn't be safe. Let's just leave it at this (http://oldglory.com/lp/Big-Lebowski-Marmot-T-Shirt/p/039387MOTS).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWdd6_ZxX8c

[Lemur]

This tumblr seems dangerously close to our exercise back here: Not an Onion headline (http://onionlike.tumblr.com/).

[Lemur]

Spokane police warn of "killer dog pack" assaulting llamas (http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/ap/nation/7604117.html)

A "bloodthirsty" pack of dogs has killed about 100 animals in the past few months while eluding law enforcement and volunteers in northeastern Washington state, residents and authorities said.

The killings started in late March and have occurred in a wide area of mountains and valleys west of Deer Park, a small town about 40 miles north of Spokane. [...]

Most recently, the dogs killed a 350-pound llama Tuesday night. They've also killed goats and other farm animals.

So far, no humans have been attacked. But authorities are warning residents to take whatever steps are necessary to protect their families and animals because the dogs appear to be killing for fun rather than food.

[Gregoshi]

I'm tempted to link to video, but the movie the quote is from contains so many f-bombs, it wouldn't be safe. Let's just leave it at this (http://oldglory.com/lp/Big-Lebowski-Marmot-T-Shirt/p/039387MOTS).
That's funny, I just watched The Big Lebowski for the first time in 12+ years last night. I didn't recognize the "Nice marmot" yesterday as being from the movie. :laugh4:

[Peasant Phill]

In our series of laughable public fetishes I give you our next instalment:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lU7iGpeNBLY&feature=player_embedded

[Hosakawa Tito]

New Courthouse's glass stairs draw concerns of peeping (http://www.dispatch.com/live/content/local_news/stories/2011/06/08/new-courthouses-glass-stairs-draw-concerns-of-peeping.html). Great moments in architecture!

County officials just hope people are mature and appreciate the courthouse's new stairs for the right reasons.
They gotta be kidding. :laugh4:

[Crazed Rabbit]

CRITICAL NEWS UPDATE! (http://kxro.wordpress.com/2011/06/09/famous-assault-prop-not-a-marten/)


The 33-year-old suspect in an assault that made national news by holding a dead marten while striking a man in the face is no naturalist. Hoquiam Police Chief Jeff Myers says the weasel like animal the man was holding during Monday night’s assault was actually a mink, also a member of the weasel family. Myers says the Department of Fish and Wildlife reports that Martens have not been seen in the Grays Harbor area for 50 to 60 years. The suspect adamantly claimed the animal he was carrying was a marten, going as far as to correct arresting officers when they called it a weasel.

CR

[Veho Nex]

Thats good thats cleared up

[Veho Nex]

I think I threw up a little. (http://www.foodista.com/blog/2011/06/14/japanese-scientist-makes-fake-meat-from-human-feces)

[Vladimir]

It seems that the same people who wanted the president's birth certificate aren't satisfied with Osama's death certificate:
http://uk.m.yahoo.com/w/ygo-frontpage/lp/story/uk/41097/coke.bp?ref_w=frontdoors&.ysid=7FoKNB8AXoTbJPDtVwNsZwa7&.intl=gb&.lang=en-gb

This quote is priceless: "I have a Russian girlfriend, and she tells me that over there, in intelligence circles, they don't believe bin Laden's really dead. I do not trust my government or Obama."

He describes himself as a patriotic American; one who trusts his SVR girlfriend.

[Hosakawa Tito]

I think I threw up a little. (http://www.foodista.com/blog/2011/06/14/japanese-scientist-makes-fake-meat-from-human-feces)

Kinda like stinky tofu. :fainting:

[Lemur]

Jewish court sentences dog to death by stoning (http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20110617/od_afp/israeltrialreligionanimalsoffbeat_20110617180031)


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_hlMK7tCks

A Jerusalem rabbinical court condemned to death by stoning a dog it suspects is the reincarnation of a secular lawyer who insulted the court's judges 20 years ago, Ynet website reported Friday.

According to Ynet, the large dog made its way into the Monetary Affairs Court in the ultra-Orthodox Jewish neighbourhood of Mea Shearim in Jerusalem, frightening judges and plaintiffs.

Despite attempts to drive the dog out of the court, the hound refused to leave the premises.

One of the sitting judges then recalled a curse the court had passed down upon a secular lawyer who had insulted the judges two decades previously.

Their preferred divine retribution was for the lawyer's spirit to move into the body of a dog, an animal considered impure by traditional Judaism.

Clearly still offended, one of the judges sentenced the animal to death by stoning by local children.

The canine target, however, managed to escape.

"Let the Animals Live", an animal-welfare organisation filed a complaint with the police against the head of the court, Rabbi Avraham Dov Levin, who denied that the judges had called for the dog's stoning, Ynet reported.

One of the court's managers, however, confirmed the report of the lapidation sentence to Israeli daily Yediot Aharonot.

"It was ordered... as an appropriate way to 'get back at' the spirit which entered the poor dog," the paper reported the manager as saying, according to Ynet.

[Tellos Athenaios]

Woman puts shout-out for hitman on Facebook (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/06/16/facebook_hitman/)


A Philadephia woman who decided it was a bright idea to publicly recruit a hitman on Facebook is behind bars after the intended victim's mum spotted her murderous solicitation.
(...)
Philadelphia Police Lt. John Walker summarised: "It's shocking that people are just so stupid."

[Gregoshi]

Philadelphia Police Lt. John Walker summarised: "It's shocking that people are just so stupid."
Gregoshi likes this.

[gaelic cowboy]

Woman puts shout-out for hitman on Facebook (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/06/16/facebook_hitman/)


A Philadephia woman who decided it was a bright idea to publicly recruit a hitman on Facebook is behind bars after the intended victim's mum spotted her murderous solicitation.
(...)
Philadelphia Police Lt. John Walker summarised: "It's shocking that people are just so stupid."



Not only are people stupid there the same all over the world

'Lying Eyes' is jailed despite lover's plea (http://www.independent.ie/national-news/lying-eyes-is-jailed-despite-lovers-plea-1520086.html)


During her trial, the jury heard how, in the summer of 2006, Collins created an internet alias and through Hitmanforhire.com contacted Tony Luciano -- who was otherwise known as Essam Eid.

The pair hatched an elaborate plan and the hitman flew to Ireland with his wife to wipe-out PJ Howard and his two sons, Robert and Niall, for US$90,000 (€66,000). But when Eid landed, he tried to blackmail Mr Howard to call off the hit and was subsequently caught.

[Samurai Waki]

Jewish court sentences dog to death by stoning (http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20110617/od_afp/israeltrialreligionanimalsoffbeat_20110617180031)


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_hlMK7tCks

A Jerusalem rabbinical court condemned to death by stoning a dog it suspects is the reincarnation of a secular lawyer who insulted the court's judges 20 years ago, Ynet website reported Friday.

According to Ynet, the large dog made its way into the Monetary Affairs Court in the ultra-Orthodox Jewish neighbourhood of Mea Shearim in Jerusalem, frightening judges and plaintiffs.

Despite attempts to drive the dog out of the court, the hound refused to leave the premises.

One of the sitting judges then recalled a curse the court had passed down upon a secular lawyer who had insulted the judges two decades previously.

Their preferred divine retribution was for the lawyer's spirit to move into the body of a dog, an animal considered impure by traditional Judaism.

Clearly still offended, one of the judges sentenced the animal to death by stoning by local children.

The canine target, however, managed to escape.

"Let the Animals Live", an animal-welfare organisation filed a complaint with the police against the head of the court, Rabbi Avraham Dov Levin, who denied that the judges had called for the dog's stoning, Ynet reported.

One of the court's managers, however, confirmed the report of the lapidation sentence to Israeli daily Yediot Aharonot.

"It was ordered... as an appropriate way to 'get back at' the spirit which entered the poor dog," the paper reported the manager as saying, according to Ynet.

Yeah, I just saw this and was going to post it. Wouldn't Netanyahu have been a better target?

[Crazed Rabbit]

Woman puts shout-out for hitman on Facebook (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/06/16/facebook_hitman/)


A Philadephia woman who decided it was a bright idea to publicly recruit a hitman on Facebook is behind bars after the intended victim's mum spotted her murderous solicitation.
(...)
Philadelphia Police Lt. John Walker summarised: "It's shocking that people are just so stupid."


It's also worrying she apparently got a eager reply.

CR

[Crazed Rabbit]

Never fall for a booty call from a ninja. (http://www.wlsam.com//Article.asp?id=2216674)


Call it the case of the “Booty Call Ninjas.”
A Joliet man told police he was attacked by two people weilding nunchuks and throwing stars after he showed up for what he thought would be a sexual rendezvous with his ex-girlfriend.
The 44-year-old man called police after getting jumped around 1:15 a.m. in the alley off the 300 block of Youngs Avenue. He said he had called his ex-girlfriend and asked her to come over for sex, and she agreed.
A short time later, Katherine M. Casarez, 29, texted the victim that she was in a nearby alley, police said.
As the man walked to Casarez’s car, a masked man jumped out and hit him in the head with nunchuks, police said. Casarez then grabbed nunchuks of her own and hit the man on the head with them as well.
While investigating the crime scene, police found two throwing stars, including one stuck into a telephone poll.
Casarez, of Joliet, was charged with aggravated domestic battery, aggravated battery, unlawful use of a weapon and armed violence. Police were also seeking a 34-year-old Joliet man for questioning.

CR

[InsaneApache]

A MAGICIAN was thrown out of a bar and quizzed by police – for bending a fork.


Paul Fisher, 35, was given his marching orders by a burly doorman after #performing his favourite trick for friends.

Mr Fisher, who uses the stage name Paul Saint, said: “I wasn’t given any sort of explanation or told to put the forks away. The police vehicle came up the street and an officer jumped out.”

A stunned Mr Fisher of Pelsall, West Midlands, added: “He said he’d had a complaint about me bending some forks.” :laugh4:

After a background check he was freed.

Fiona Williams, boss of the Apres bar in Lichfield, Staffs, said: “We have to protect our customers and knives and forks are a security issue. He was not organised as a magician, nor announced himself or his intentions.”

http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/253828/Bar-bans-fork-bend-magician

[Veho Nex]

Kanucks fans didnt riot, it was phillie fans in disguise. (http://www.sportspickle.com/news/6828/vancouver-mayor-we-now-believe-the-rioters-were-visiting-philadelphia-fans)

“I think we all know how Philadelphia fans are, with the booing Santa Claus and what not,” said Vancouver mayor Gregor Robertson. “Whereas we Canadians have a reputation for being very laid back and peaceful. So, obviously, the evidence could not be more clear: Philadelphia fans came to our fair city and tore it apart.”

[Vladimir]

Kanucks fans didnt riot, it was phillie fans in disguise. (http://www.sportspickle.com/news/6828/vancouver-mayor-we-now-believe-the-rioters-were-visiting-philadelphia-fans)

:laugh4:

Typical Canadian. Blame America.

Great parody website.

[Tellos Athenaios]

A novel healthcare plan (http://www.gastongazette.com/news/bank-58397-richard-hailed.html)
Strapped for cash, Verone looked into filing for disability. He applied for early Social Security.

The only thing Verone qualified for was food stamps. The extra money helped, but he felt desperate. He needed to get medical attention, and he refused to be a burden on his sister and brothers.

“The pain was beyond the tolerance that I could accept,” he said. “I kind of hit a brick wall with everything.”

Last resort

A couple of months ago Verone started weighing his options.

He considered turning to a homeless shelter and seeking medical help through charitable organizations.

Then he had another idea: commit a crime and get set up with a place to stay, food and doctors.

He started planning. (...)



Verone didn't want to scare anyone. He executed the robbery the most passive way he knew how.

He handed the teller a note demanding one dollar, and medical attention.

[Lemur]

Peeping tom hides in porta-potty, escapes covered in human waste (http://weirdnews.aol.com/2011/06/22/peeping-tom-hid-in-porta-potty-tank_n_881945.html)

File under "ewwwwwwwwww ..."

BOULDER, Colo. -- Police in Colorado say a woman who stepped inside a portable toilet at a yoga festival discovered a man hiding in the tank below when she lifted the toilet lid. [...] A festival security supervisor said the suspect eventually emerged from the toilet – covered in human waste – and slipped away.

[Vladimir]

I'm more interested in:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/06/22/horse-semen-shots-custard_n_882053.html?ir=Weird+News

Goofy kiwis.

[Hosakawa Tito]

Peeping tom hides in porta-potty, escapes covered in human waste (http://weirdnews.aol.com/2011/06/22/peeping-tom-hid-in-porta-potty-tank_n_881945.html)

File under "ewwwwwwwwww ..."

BOULDER, Colo. -- Police in Colorado say a woman who stepped inside a portable toilet at a yoga festival discovered a man hiding in the tank below when she lifted the toilet lid. [...] A festival security supervisor said the suspect eventually emerged from the toilet – covered in human waste – and slipped away.

Heard that one on the radio this morning. No one wanted the honor of making that bust.


I'm more interested in:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/06/22/horse-semen-shots-custard_n_882053.html?ir=Weird+News

Goofy kiwis.

That one sounds familiar...

Here's a good one, the bilingual cat.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aP3gzee1cps&feature=player_embedded

BARK,BARK, BARK....er I mean meow. :laugh4::laugh4:

[Vladimir]

A spy! :laugh4:

[Askthepizzaguy]

BARK,BARK, BARK....er I mean meow. :laugh4::laugh4:

What's hilarious is I thought this caption was just your embellishment of the story, but pretty much, this is what the cat actually says. It starts meowing when it turns around and looks at the camera, but was clearly barking before that.

5 stars.

[Lemur]

Naked Russian scientist attempts to tame beluga whales (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2004042/Naked-female-scientist-tries-tame-beluga-whales-arctic.html)

(warning -- full article contains tasteful pictures of a naked woman swimming with whales. If boobies offend you, do not click.)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/article-2004042-0C4636B000000578-43.jpg

Braving sub-zero temperatures, she has thrown caution — and her clothes — to the wind to tame two beluga whales in a unique and controversial experiment.

Natalia Avseenko, 36, was persuaded to strip naked as marine experts believe belugas do not like to be touched by artificial materials such as diving suits.

The skilled Russian diver took the plunge as the water temperature hit minus 1.5 degrees Centigrade. [...]

The average human could die if left in sub-zero temperature sea water for just five minutes.

However, Natalia is a yoga expert and used meditation techniques to hold her breath and stay under water for an incredible ten minutes and 40 seconds.

There are around 100,000 belugas in the wild.

The first to be held in captivity was shown at Barnum's Museum in New York in 1861, and there are belugas in aquariums and sea life parks across Europe, North America and Asia.

Their large range of 'facial expressions' comes from them having a more flexible bone structure than other whales. Certainly these two had a big smile for the naked Natalia.

[Askthepizzaguy]

I do believe I am in love with this woman.

[InsaneApache]

Not really weird but amusing.....

https://img802.imageshack.us/img802/8058/liferestore.th.jpg (https://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/802/liferestore.jpg/)

Uploaded with ImageShack.us (https://imageshack.us)

[Hosakawa Tito]

Who's dumping bags of vomit? (http://radnor.patch.com/articles/whos-dumping-bags-of-vomit) Apparently, the Chucky Cheese down the street can't afford a dumpster. :laugh4:

[Lemur]

Woman Arrested for Assaulting Deputies with Breast Milk (http://www.10tv.com/live/content/local/stories/2011/06/27/story-delaware-woman-accused-spraying-deputies-breast-milk.html)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/image-robinette-280.jpg

DELAWARE, Ohio — A woman faces several charges after she allegedly sprayed deputies with breast milk as they tried to detain her over the weekend.

The incident occurred early Saturday morning near the Bridgewater Banquet & Conference Center on Sawmill Parkway.

According to the Delaware County Sheriff's Office, deputies were called to the area after receiving calls about a domestic dispute. When they arrived, a man told them that he had been attending a wedding at the facility with his wife, who had gotten drunk and struck him several times before locking herself in a car.

Delaware County Sheriff Walter L. Davis III said deputies tried to talk with the woman, who was identified as Stephanie Robinette, 30, of Westerville, but she refused to cooperate.

"When deputies attempted to remove Robinette from the vehicle, she advised the deputies that she was a breast feeding mother and proceeded to remove her right breast from her dress and began spraying deputies and the vehicle with her breast milk," Davis said.

[Major Robert Dump]

Some local news. White trash ingrates tattoo RAPEST of a kid who tried to sleep with one of the guys girlfriends. True brilliance

http://www.newsok.com/four-sentenced-to-prison-after-admitting-to-tattooing-rapest-on-oklahoma-city-mans-forehead/article/3581121?custom_click=lead_story_title

[Hosakawa Tito]

Drugs plot raid reveals old woman feeding rabbits with cannabis (http://www.thelocal.de/national/20110625-35889.html).


A spokesman for the Brandenburg police said her explanation had sounded plausible, but the officers could not leave her with the plants, rather cut them all down and took them to the forensics laboratory for testing to smoke themselves.

The three large plastic sacks of weed will now be tested to determine the level of THC – the psycho-active ingredient in cannabis - they contain. There was no official comment on what the elderly woman was expected to feed her rabbits with now.


Somebunny ain't gonna be happy.

[Gregoshi]

Somebunny ain't gonna be happy.
Drugs Bunny?

[Veho Nex]

Looks like the white rabbit isnt going to Wonderland anytime soon.

[Crazed Rabbit]

Drugs plot raid reveals old woman feeding rabbits with cannabis (http://www.thelocal.de/national/20110625-35889.html).



Somebunny ain't gonna be happy.

It was medicinal!

:angry:

CR

[Vladimir]

I'm sorry, it was me making that noise.

Singing penis' sets noise record (http://www.bbc.co.uk/nature/13958630)

[Lemur]

The insect makes the sound by rubbing its penis against its abdomen in a process known as "stridulation".
Ewwwwwwww.

Meanwhile, we may have forgotten the octosquids, but they have not forgotten us. Plotting their invasion from the murky depths of the Atlantic, they had used their jellyfish proxies (http://news.discovery.com/earth/jellyfish-1-scottish-nuclear-power-plant-0-110630.html) to attack a Scottish nuclear power plant.



A swarm of jellyfish has caused the closure of two reactors at a nuclear power plant in Scotland. The plant, at Torness, uses seawater as a coolant; but the jellyfish clogged filters in the intake pipes, prompting operators to shut down the reactors until the filters could be cleared.

The notion of jellyfish as nuclear reactor incapacitators isn't without precedent. For example, in 2006, jellyfish blocked the filters at a reactor in Japan, which shut down automatically. Two years later, a similar event caused the manual shutdown of the Diablo Canyon plant in California. In 1999, the temporary jellyfish-enforced closure of a coal-fired power plant in the Philippines "plunged 40 million people into darkness and sparked rumors of a coup d'etat," the NSF reported.

[InsaneApache]

The toddler was in critical condition with internal bleeding and other injuries last night while the woman who saved her suffered a broken arm, China Central Television and the Xinhua News Agency said.

The girl, named Zhang Fangyu but known by the nickname Niu Niu, was in the care of her grandmother on Saturday afternoon when the older woman left the 10th-floor apartment outside the eastern city of Hangzhou to run an errand.

Neighbours saw Niu Niu dangling from the apartment window for several minutes, and when the girl fell, Wu Juping "kicked off her high-heeled shoes" and ran to catch the child.

"It was so urgent. I saw her when she was about to fall and rushed there, and after tens of seconds she fell off," CCTV quoted Wu as saying.

A 31-year-old mother, Wu told CCTV that when she saw the hanging girl she thought of her own seven-month-old son who had once fallen from a high chair and cut his mouth: "I thought to myself 'I should stretch my arms to her. Because I am right here, I must get her.' Then I made it. I caught her in my arms."

The impact knocked Wu out and sent her crumbling to the ground along with breaking her left arm, the reports said.

CCTV quoted an unidentified doctor at the Children's Hospital of Zhejiang Hospital as saying that a scan showed no damage to Niu Niu's brain but that the girl's abdomen was swollen in a sign of possible injury to organs.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/china/8614039/Chinese-toddler-caught-by-passer-by-after-10-storey-fall.html

Respect :bow:

[Vladimir]

In other Asian women's news:

Thai women cheer first female prime minister (http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/07/03/us-thailand-election-women-idUSTRE7621CW20110703)

Her first official policy statement to the U.S. was "I love you long time GI."

Her nickname is Crab[s]. Seriously. Her parents gave it to her. How bad does it have to get before your parents give you those kinds of nicknames? 'We name our son seven year itch.'.

[Hosakawa Tito]

In other Asian women's news:

Thai women cheer first female prime minister (http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/07/03/us-thailand-election-women-idUSTRE7621CW20110703)

Her first official policy statement to the U.S. was "I love you long time GI."

Her nickname is Crab[s]. Seriously. Her parents gave it to her. How bad does it have to get before your parents give you those kinds of nicknames? 'We name our son seven year itch.'.

7 years between mating cycles? Must be Vulcan.
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v517/hoppy84/Spock_vulcan-salute.png

[Vladimir]

7 years between mating cycles? Must be Vulcan.
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v517/hoppy84/Spock_vulcan-salute.png

Maybe. Both involve green blood.

[gaelic cowboy]

I don't know what to make of this one but apparently there are no leads as of yet Woman died from allergic reaction to sex with dog (http://www.thejournal.ie/woman-died-from-allergic-reaction-to-sex-with-dog-172620-Jul2011/?utm_source=shortlink)

[Lemur]

I don't know what to make of this one but apparently there are no leads as of yet Woman died from allergic reaction to sex with dog (http://www.thejournal.ie/woman-died-from-allergic-reaction-to-sex-with-dog-172620-Jul2011/?utm_source=shortlink)
You learn history from the strangest places: "Sean McDonnell, 57, is charged with buggery [...] and is believed to be the first person in Ireland to be charged under the legislation."

So ... nobody has been buggering anyone in Ireland until now?

[Lemur]

Here's the thing: you buy a three legged duck, I think you're committed. No takesies-backsies. No regrets. March into the future boldly with your mutant aquatic fowl!

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/article-1309947117797-0CE2A04900000.jpg

Man buys three-legged duck then decides he doesn't like extra limb (http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/868388-man-buys-three-legged-duck-then-decides-he-doesnt-like-extra-limb)

What happens when you buy a three-legged then decide you don't want it? You take it back of course.

That's exactly what one Chinese shopper did when he bought a duck with an extra peg from a market stall in Nan'an, Fujian Province.

Initially the man appeared quite happy with his purchase but then had a change of heart towards the odd looking quacker - and took it back.

Luckily chicken and duck shop owner Chen Xiantong was happy to give the man a full refund for the one-off creature.

'He said the duck was too weird with its extra leg, and he feared it may be harmful to health,' Chen explained.

'I now keep the duck in the shop and people come in just to see it so it has actually been good for my business.'

[gaelic cowboy]

You learn history from the strangest places: "Sean McDonnell, 57, is charged with buggery [...] and is believed to be the first person in Ireland to be charged under the legislation."

So ... nobody has been buggering anyone in Ireland until now?

:laugh4:

[Ronin]

Ultralight pilot makes stop at strip club (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/07/08/flying_visit/)

this is your captain speaking, welcome to fun airlines.
please remember to fasten your seatbelt and wrap it before you tap it!

[Banquo's Ghost]

So ... nobody has been buggering anyone in Ireland until now?

As good catholics, it's considered a religious duty here. Alsatian dogs are clearly protestant, hence the charges. :wink:

[gaelic cowboy]

As good catholics, it's considered a religious duty here. Alsatian dogs are clearly protestant, hence the charges. :wink:

:laugh4::laugh4:

[Hosakawa Tito]

Banana at large after fight with gorilla: Strongsville Police Blotter (http://www.cleveland.com/strongsville/index.ssf/2011/07/banana_at_large_after_fight_wi.html).

According to the store manager, the gorilla was not injured, just embarrassed. Police were unable to locate the banana. :laugh4:

[InsaneApache]

I bet beer was involved.

[Hosakawa Tito]

Nebraska College to Host North American Manure Expo (http://www.klkntv.com/story/15024485/neb-college-to-host-north-american-manure-expo?redirected=true).


Chris Henry of University of Nebraska-Lincoln Extension says 53 vendors will offer the latest technology in manure management.

People that actually know jack-:daisy:.

[Gregoshi]

Nebraska College to Host North American Manure Expo (http://www.klkntv.com/story/15024485/neb-college-to-host-north-american-manure-expo?redirected=true).
My pun circuitbreaker tripped on this one. I've got nothing due to the pun surge.

[Samurai Waki]

What would News of the Weird be without the obligatory Penis Dismemberment (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-14131133) story?

[Major Robert Dump]

Not just dismemberment. Garbage disposal involved.

[gaelic cowboy]

Keeping the theme for today

Giant Boner-Inducing Spider Rampages in Supermarket (http://gawker.com/5819988/giant-boner+inducing-spider-rampages-in-supermarket)

[Samurai Waki]

It's good to know that Pastafarians are finally getting the recognition they deserve. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-14135523)


An Austrian atheist has won the right to be shown on his driving-licence photo wearing a pasta strainer as "religious headgear".

Niko Alm first applied for the licence three years ago after reading that headgear was allowed in official pictures only for confessional reasons. Mr Alm said the sieve was a requirement of his religion, pastafarianism. The Austrian authorities required him to obtain a doctor's certificate that he was "psychologically fit" to drive. The idea came into Mr Alm's noodle three years ago as a way of making a serious, if ironic, point.

[Major Robert Dump]

that dude is my hero

[aimlesswanderer]

Last census I said my religion was Jedi, does that mean I can wear a Jedi robe? I should have said I was a Sith, then I could go with the Darth Vader look.

[edyzmedieval]

Last census I said my religion was Jedi, does that mean I can wear a Jedi robe? I should have said I was a Sith, then I could go with the Darth Vader look.

You need an excuse for a Darth Vader look?

[Gregoshi]

I find your lack of faith disturbing...

[aimlesswanderer]

You need an excuse for a Darth Vader look?

No, but I think I would need some justification to be wearing Darth Vader getup when getting my licence photo taken!

[Hosakawa Tito]

No, but I think I would need some justification to be wearing Darth Vader getup when getting my licence photo taken!

Tell them it's a religious requirement, you know, kinda like wearing a burka.

[Samurai Waki]

personally I'd go with Emperor Palpatine-- "Everything that has transpired has done so according to my design. It was I who allowed the DMV to know the location of the shield generator. It is quite safe from your pitiful little band. An entire legion of my best troops awaits them. Oh, I'm afraid the deflector shield will be quite operational when your friends arrive."

[aimlesswanderer]

Tell them it's a religious requirement, you know, kinda like wearing a burka.

Sadly the Australian Bureau of Statistics, who run the census, don't recognise Jedi as a religion. :angry:

[Veho Nex]

Strip for the president! and win an Ipad 2 (http://news.cnet.com/8301-17938_105-20080399-1/russian-campaign-strip-for-putin-win-an-ipad-2/)

I love Russia.

[Hosakawa Tito]

Strip for the president! and win an Ipad 2 (http://news.cnet.com/8301-17938_105-20080399-1/russian-campaign-strip-for-putin-win-an-ipad-2/)

I love Russia.

From Russia with love. :laugh4:

Speaking of love. Yer honor, I rest me case.

Wayne County Woman Who Went After Judge Faces New Charges (http://www.lex18.com/news/wayne-county-woman-who-went-after-judge-faces-new-charges).

[InsaneApache]

From Russia with love. :laugh4:

Speaking of love. Yer honor, I rest me case.

Wayne County Woman Who Went After Judge Faces New Charges (http://www.lex18.com/news/wayne-county-woman-who-went-after-judge-faces-new-charges).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hIcKkKID8k

[Samurai Waki]

I don't want yer gay blood in my veins! You're not gay? Well, you look gay to me, so you must be gay. (Straight man get's turned down from blood donors because he looked just a little too gay (http://www.seattlepi.com/national/article/Man-rejected-from-giving-blood-because-he-looked-1471387.php))


The Chicago Sun-Times reported that Aaron Pace - described as "straight" but "noticeably effeminate" - was rejected at Bio-Blood Components Inc. in Gary, Indiana.
"I was humiliated and embarrassed," Pace, 22, told the newspaper.
"It's not right that homeless people can give blood but homosexuals can't. And I'm not even a homosexual."

[Gregoshi]

I don't want yer gay blood in my veins! You're not gay? Well, you look gay to me, so you must be gay. (Straight man get's turned down from blood donors because he looked just a little too gay (http://www.seattlepi.com/national/article/Man-rejected-from-giving-blood-because-he-looked-1471387.php))
They must have thought his blood type was GayB Positive.

[drone]

They must have thought his blood type was GayB Positive.
His blood has extra homoglobin.

[Tellos Athenaios]

The less pleasant corollary is on the receiving end of the infuse ...

[Major Robert Dump]

Man pretends to be adult with mental deficiencies who requires care from attractive babysitters and their nubile daughters, to include diaper changes. He has a proxy set up the "care."

I'm kind of jealous I did not think of this.

Anyway, busted.

http://www.newsok.com/oklahoma-city-man-who-wore-diapers-sentenced-to-three-years-in-prison/article/3587523?custom_click=headlines_widget

[Major Robert Dump]

Gay Christian minister posing as a woman of Facebook in order to get nude photos of young boys. I love it

http://www.newsok.com/article/3586789

[Tellos Athenaios]

Python orgy menaces Yorkeys Knob canoes (http://www.cairns.com.au/article/2011/07/20/174635_local-news.html)


An orgy of snakes is in danger of bringing the house down upon a Cairns sporting club.

About six scrub pythons, all at least 3.5m long, have been getting busy in a boatshed roof of the Yorkeys Knob-based Hekili Outrigger Canoe Club.

The pythons, which may also include a 7m female nicknamed "Nigini", have been making such a romantic ruckus, sections of the roof have started breaking away.

[Major Robert Dump]

Lemur spooted in China!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2017658/Chinese-villagers-mistake-malnourished-monkey-alien.html

[InsaneApache]

A man has been banned from keeping animals after drowning his guinea pigs in the bath.

David Ellis held the animals under water because he no longer wanted them.

Ellis, 57, from Millfield Court, Courtwick Lane, near Littlehampton, appeared at Worthing Magistrates’ Court yesterday and was banned for life from keeping any pets except for goldfish, which he was deemed not to be a risk to.

http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/9146612.Littlehampton_guinea_pig_killer_gets_lifetime_pet_ban/

:laugh4:

Whilst I in no way think animal cruelty is acceptable, that is funny.

[Hosakawa Tito]

http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/9146612.Littlehampton_guinea_pig_killer_gets_lifetime_pet_ban/

:laugh4:

Whilst I in no way think animal cruelty is acceptable, that is funny.

How do they realistically expect to enforce such a ban? That is a ridiculous ruling. Make him perform community service at an animal shelter or something.

[InsaneApache]

I'm pretty sure that if they get caught, they go to gaol.

[Centurion1]

I would murder that man. Guinea pigs are adorable lovable little creatures. They hold a special spot in my heart.

http://quillcards.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/guinea_pig.jpg

I mean that's just GD adorable.

[Vladimir]

Lemur spooted in China!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2017658/Chinese-villagers-mistake-malnourished-monkey-alien.html

Well that's just sad, from more than one aspect.

[Major Robert Dump]

http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/9146612.Littlehampton_guinea_pig_killer_gets_lifetime_pet_ban/

:laugh4:

Whilst I in no way think animal cruelty is acceptable, that is funny.

What a jerk, to do that to animals that probably trusted him and waited for him to come home from work every day

[Papewaio]

Don't farms still drown excess puppies?

I had a guinea pig once that was licked to death by our kelpie lab cross. No teeth puncture wounds, just a lot of salvia. Must have had a heart attack.

[Lemur]

Man performs surgery on self with butter knife, cigarette. What could go wrong? (http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/07/27/us-surgery-knife-odd-idUSTRE76Q3OT20110727)

A 63-year-old American man with a hernia plunged a butter knife into his abdomen to try to fix the problem, and later put a lit cigarette in the wound, according to police.

Police found the man lying naked on the porch of his apartment in the Los Angeles suburb of Glendale in California Sunday night after his wife called to report his attempt at surgery, Glendale police spokesman Sergeant Tom Lorenz said.

"He actually impaled himself with the butter knife," Lorenz said. "He told his wife he was frustrated with this hernia, and he didn't want to wait any longer for the medical procedure."

Police officers watched as the man, after pulling the knife out of his abdomen, put a lit cigarette into the wound, Lorenz said.

"I don't know if it was an attempt to cauterize or anything," he said.

[Veho Nex]

Don't farms still drown excess puppies?

I had a guinea pig once that was licked to death by our kelpie lab cross. No teeth puncture wounds, just a lot of salvia. Must have had a heart attack.

FIEND OF THE NIGHT! HOW DARE YOU SICK YOU DEMONIC MONGREL ON THAT POOR DEFENSELESS CUTE ADORABLE WIDDLE GUINEA PIG!? I DEMAND RETRIBUTION IN THE FORM OF TICKLES! TO DEATH! YOU HEAR ME! TO DEATH!!!!


Eh... Never mind, too much effort on the account of a rodent.

[Vladimir]

That's how my girlfriend died. Seriously; well, a combination of saliva and tickles.

[drone]

Exploding toilet burns Australian airman (http://www.globalpost.com/dispatches/globalpost-blogs/down-under/exploding-toilet-australian-airman-military-odd-news)

An Australian air force employee suffered severe burns to his head, face and chest when a portable toilet exploded beneath him as he apparently tried to light a cigarette.

The portable toilet — also known as a porta-potty, or more commonly in Australia, portaloo — erupted in flames at at the Rockhampton airport in the state of Queensland on Monday morning, the ABC reported.

[Vladimir]

Look. It's grimace's girlfriend to the right!

[naut]

Exploding toilet burns Australian airman (http://www.globalpost.com/dispatches/globalpost-blogs/down-under/exploding-toilet-australian-airman-military-odd-news)


The portable toilet — also known as a porta-potty, or more commonly in Australia, portaloo — erupted in flames at at the Rockhampton airport in the state of Queensland on Monday morning, the ABC reported.
A portaloo? LOL. I have never heard that word ever. That's what we call a pisser.

[Hosakawa Tito]

3rd degree burns? That must have been some hot :daisy:

[Lemur]

Of all the possible ways to kill my wife I choose ... PUFFER FISH! (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/07/28/edward-f-bachner-puffer-f_n_911883.html)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/pufferfish.jpg

Ordinarily, it wouldn't be that strange for a defendant and his wife to mouth "I love you" to each other during a high-profile court case.

But when that defendant is on trial for amassing a stockpile of a highly lethal neurotoxin with the intent of killing his wife and taking $20 million in life insurance, professions of love seem a little more unusual. [...]

Bachner is charged with multiple counts of possessing a biological toxin with intent to use it as a weapon, charges that have a maximum sentence of life in prison. He was arrested in 2008 by federal officials after allegedly attempting to buy 98 milligrams of tetrodotoxin -- the poison found in puffer fish, 1000 times more lethal than cyanide -- through the website of a New Jersey chemical company.

Upon searching his home, investigators say they found 45 more vials of the poison, as well as 50 knives, various other weapons, and a fake CIA badge, among other notable items NBC Chicago reports.

[Tellos Athenaios]

Facebook honeytrap used in Belgian hypermart blag (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/07/29/facebook_powered_supermarket_kidnap_blag/)

Belgian crooks used a Facebook relationship lure to trick a hypermarket manager into a trap, kidnapping him and obtaining keys to the store's safe before making good their escape.

Local police have put out an appeal (http://www.polfed-fedpol.be/ops/ops_teidentificerendetail_nl.php?RecordID=684) for information about the apparently well-planned blag on Thursday, five months after an audacious scam that relied on the power of social networking. The unnamed store manager was lured into a trap via a fraudulent Facebook friend request in early February. A friendship was struck up and the man was invited to have cosy dinner by "Katrien Van Loo", presumably to further the new friendship.

But when he arrived at an Antwerp apartment for dinner on 15 February, the store manager found only an empty building, where he was overpowered by two unidentified men. He was gagged, blindfolded and forced to hand over the keys to his apartment.

[Major Robert Dump]

Apparently, some people think it is entirely plausible that Casey Anthony is already employed as a clerk at a convenience store in Oklahoma.

http://www.newson6.com/story/15084225/woman-mistaken-for-casey-anthony-attacked

SAVE THE CHILDREN

[Hosakawa Tito]

Caught in a Willy Tight Spot (http://www.news.com.au/weird-true-freaky/caught-in-a-willy-tight-spot/story-e6frflri-1226100505429#ixzz1T6HZuQaV). Is this gonna hurt? :laugh4:

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v517/hoppy84/-jaws-of-life.jpg

[Tellos Athenaios]

Know your malodorous enemy, Project Griffin style (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/08/02/griffin_briefing/)


It's half an hour on the naughty step today for London's Metropolitan and City Police's Project Griffin (http://cms.met.police.uk/met/boroughs/city_of_westminster/03working_with_the_community/westminster_project_griffin) team for resorting to Wikipedia in the struggle to contain the anarchist menace.

In case you're wondering, Project Griffin is a collaborative effort "to familiarise managers, security officers and employees of large public and private sector organisations across the capital on security, counter-terrorism and crime prevention issues".

Naturally, it's always handy to know your enemy, especially when your "Beech [sic] Volleyball" event may be under threat from shouty, malodorous scruffs leading dogs on string.

http://regmedia.co.uk/2011/08/02/public_order.jpg

[InsaneApache]

Disgusting action from the Metropolitan Police Farce. Thought crime, pure and simple.

[Tellos Athenaios]

I'll borrow this one from the Al Qaeda glossy magazine:

How to build a reactor in the kitchen of your mom (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/08/02/diy_swedish_nuclear_reactor/)

A Swedish man was arrested and briefly detained for attempting to build a nuclear reactor in his kitchen.
(...)
The amateur nuclear engineer wasn't secretive about his efforts. He had posted about the project on the internet, including an article entitled "How to build a nuclear reactor" in which he noted that it was "not that difficult" (inte är så svårt).

[InsaneApache]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/picturegalleries/celebritynews/8678482/Paul-Daniels-injured-in-Sooty-pizza-throwing-accident.html

Paul Daniels gets battered by Sooty.

I always liked Sooty. :laugh4:

[Ronin]

New Zealand man decapitated by home-made hovercraft. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-pacific-14386092)


A New Zealand man has been decapitated by a propeller while demonstrating a home-made hovercraft to his family, local media reports say.

Dr Alastair Kenneth Senior, 40, died instantly when his hovercraft suffered a mechanical failure, causing a blade to shear off and hit him in the head.

The accident happened at Muriwai Beach, west of Auckland.

the first signs of problems are apparent when the expression "home-made hovercraft" is used.

[Hosakawa Tito]

There's always room for jello (http://www.fastcompany.com/1767744/coming-soon-human-derived-gelatin-in-your-marshmallows). One degree from cannibalism? Who's genes they using? :sweatdrop:

[Major Robert Dump]

Neighbor wishes other neighbor to die from "canser" in feel good note

http://www.sacbee.com/2011/08/04/3816873/man-regrets-telling-ri-neighbor.html

[Husar]

Neighbor wishes other neighbor to die from "canser" in feel good note

http://www.sacbee.com/2011/08/04/3816873/man-regrets-telling-ri-neighbor.html

That reads like a story about 14-year-olds written by another 14-year-old... :laugh4:

[Hosakawa Tito]

Neighbor wishes other neighbor to die from "canser" in feel good note

http://www.sacbee.com/2011/08/04/3816873/man-regrets-telling-ri-neighbor.html

I wonder if he has relations in Melbourne ? Man chainsaws giant middle-finger salute to neighbors (http://www.news.com.au/national/man-chainsaws-giant-middle-finger-salute-to-neighbours/story-e6frfkvr-1226107104042). :laugh4:

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v517/hoppy84/middlefingersculpture.jpg

[Tellos Athenaios]

LEGO Astronauts on Juno mission (http://www.jpl.nasa.gov/news/news.cfm?release=2011-241)
http://www.jpl.nasa.gov/images/juno/20110803/lego20110803-640.jpg

[Tellos Athenaios]

Physics not a barrier to the Cult of Jobs, or: what else are they up to? (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/08/04/apple_inductive_charging_patent/)


Apple has filed a patent application that describes a kludgey inductive battery-charging system, then adds – almost as an afterthought – a short description of a second, acoustically driven charger.
(...)
In Apple's patent filing (http://appft1.uspto.gov/netacgi/nph-Parser?Sect1=PTO2&Sect2=HITOFF&p=1&u=%2Fnetahtml%2FPTO%2Fsearch-bool.html&r=1&f=G&l=50&co1=AND&d=PG01&s1=20110188677.PGNR.&OS=DN/20110188677&RS=DN/20110188677) – entitled, straighforwardly enough, "Using an audio cable as an inductive charging coil" – the inducing device is a rather large ferromagnetic core that's electromagnetically excited by a coil connected to AC current from a standard wall plug. Around that vertical core, a user would wrap their device's earbud cords to form a receiving coil.
(...)
Alternatively, the mesh covering protecting the earbud driver could be conductive, so that no external contact on the earbud would be needed – you'd simply need to place the earbud mesh-down onto the device being charged. The beauty part of this idea, the filing contends, is that "This type of electrical contact (through the earphone mesh) can also be used to receive current for a conventional non-inductive charging system."


Either Apple consumers will need 15 days instead of 15 hours to charge up anything. Or: if the charging ability of this contraption is indeed similarly effective as more conventional chargers, it should provide the USA with yet another enhanced interrogation technique!

[Samurai Waki]

Octo-Squid has nothing on Naked-Dog-Badger! (http://www.montrealgazette.com/technology/Mystery+roadkill+Minnesota+experts+baffled/5212997/story.html)


Minnesota Department of Natural Resources officials have been unable to identify a mystery carcass found in Douglas County with certainty, prompting further investigation.

"We saw something in the middle of the road, and we knew it wasn't a dog or a cat, because it didn't have hair. It had a clump of hair and all the rest was just white skin," Ilse said."Its ear was all mis-shaped. To me, it looked like half-human."

[naut]

There's always room for jello (http://www.fastcompany.com/1767744/coming-soon-human-derived-gelatin-in-your-marshmallows). One degree from cannibalism? Who's genes they using? :sweatdrop:
Soylent Green?

[Hosakawa Tito]

Math for dummies (http://www.cracked.com/article_19360_7-questions-you-didnt-know-could-be-answered-with-math.html). I shoulda paid more attention in school.

[Cute Wolf]

http://cdn.smosh.com/smosh-pit/092010/captionfail-3.jpg

[aimlesswanderer]

A warning for those orgahs who like to look manly by carrying handguns shoved down the front of their pants (http://www.smh.com.au/world/police-urge-holster-use-after-man-shoots-his-own-penis-20110810-1ilhs.html)

[InsaneApache]

Headline of the year....


Philippines acts on MILF infighting

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-pacific-14487717

:laugh4:

:creep:

[gaelic cowboy]

A warning for those orgahs who like to look manly by carrying handguns shoved down the front of their pants (http://www.smh.com.au/world/police-urge-holster-use-after-man-shoots-his-own-penis-20110810-1ilhs.html)


Police in Chandler, Arizona said 27-year-old Joshua Seto and his fiancee, Cara Christopher, were walking towards a grocery store when the shooting happened last week.
The pink gun, which was pushed into the front waistband of Seto's pants, fired, striking his penis and continuing through his left thigh, The Arizona Republic newspaper reported.


Pink gun :laugh4::laugh4:

[johnhughthom]

They need to stop hiding the bathrooms on planes. (http://www.skiracing.com/?q=node%2F10349)

[Lemur]

Villagers accused in "magic penis" case fear they are cursed (http://www.globalpost.com/dispatches/globalpost-blogs/weird-wide-web/south-africa-magic-penis-killing-curse)

A village mob in South Africa, accused of burning a pastor to death for using an invisible magic penis to sleep with women in the community, now believe they have been cursed by the dead man's family.

Earlier this year, 12 people from a shantytown near Malalane, South Africa, were charged with murder and arson for setting Pastor Albert Malwane of the Izwi Zion Christian Church on fire and burning down his house, the African Eye News Service reports.

Community members had accused the pastor of talking to animals and using an invisible penis to sleep with women in the area. They also accused his wife of turning into a snail and terrorizing the community.

One of villagers charged in Malwane's death, Sunnyboy Mthalala, died in May after vomiting blood and complaining of swollen feet, according to the news service.

Now, the 11 remaining accused — nine men and three women, between the ages of 28 and 50 — believe the pastor’s family used “muti,” or traditional medicine, to place a curse on those charged in his death and make them fall ill.

Pastor Malwane’s father “confirmed that a curse was released at the pastor’s funeral to haunt his son's killers,” the African Eye News Service says.

[Tratorix]

They also accused his wife of turning into a snail and terrorizing the community.

How would that even work? If she turned into a snail, just scoop her into a jar or something. Problem solved. :laugh4:

[Crazed Rabbit]

Some hardcore rollerblading. (http://www.wimp.com/saltmine/)

CR

[Ronin]

Some hardcore rollerblading. (http://www.wimp.com/saltmine/)

CR

so the video ends without him hitting anything?
I feel cheated sir!

[Rhyfelwyr]

They need to stop hiding the bathrooms on planes. (http://www.skiracing.com/?q=node%2F10349)

Innapropriate urination on planes seems to be the next big craze (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-14572094)...

"The traveller claimed Mr Depardieu stood up minutes before take-off and declared in a loud voice: "Je veux pisser. Je veux pisser.""

[Ronin]

Russian air force announces F-22, err...I mean the Sukhoi T-50 (http://boingboing.net/2011/08/18/soviet-union-announces-f-22.html)

http://boingboing.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/jets.jpg

Find the 5 differences!

[Vladimir]

One difference is that The T-50 was announced in, January?

I like the colors on the Russian one.

[Populus Romanus]

Rear wings are different.

[drone]

Find the 5 differences!
The price tag.

[Vladimir]

The price tag.

Well, when you don't do any of the research yourself it doesn't cost as much.

[Major Robert Dump]

One of the pilots is drunk

[drone]

Well, when you don't do any of the research yourself it doesn't cost as much.
:quiet:

[Hosakawa Tito]

He's a MAN baby. So that's where Strike has been.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8mZYrRC350&feature=player_embedded

[InsaneApache]

A court has rejected a 60-year-old man's attempt to invoke the ancient right to trial by combat, rather than pay a £25 fine for a minor motoring offence.

Leon Humphreys remained adamant yesterday that his right to fight a champion nominated by the Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency (DVLA) was still valid under European human rights legislation. He said it would have been a "reasonable" way to settle the matter.

Magistrates sitting at Bury St Edmunds on Friday had disagreed and instead of accepting his offer to take on a clerk from Swansea with "samurai swords, Ghurka knives or heavy hammers", fined him £200 with £100 costs.

Humphreys, an unemployed mechanic, was taken to court after refusing to pay the original £25 fixed penalty for failing to notify the DVLA that his Suzuki motorcycle was off the road.

After entering a not guilty plea, he threw down his unconventional challenge. Humphreys, from Bury St Edmunds, said: "I was willing to fight a champion put up by the DVLA, but it would have been a fight to the death."

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1416262/Court-refuses-trial-by-combat.html

[Montmorency]

But shouldn't the clerk get choice of weapons?

[Tellos Athenaios]

From FOCUS: “So funktioniert also afghanische Polizeiausbildung durch deutsche Beamte. Zumindest in Kundus.”

[Husar]

no hotlinking, Tellos, I'm very interested though, can't find anything on their website.

[Tellos Athenaios]

http://www.focus.de/politik/deutschland/bilder-des-tages/21_august_2011/

Fourth picture.

[Centurion1]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1416262/Court-refuses-trial-by-combat.html

I am wondering if hie giant steel balls would be considered a deadly weapon?

[Husar]

http://www.focus.de/politik/deutschland/bilder-des-tages/21_august_2011/

Fourth picture.

Ah, thanks, I saw that before but was still thinking of the first picture and skipped it. ~;)

[Vladimir]

The Marines: Silent but deadly.

http://gawker.com/5833806/marines-ban-noisy-farts-in-afghanistan

[Montmorency]

Wait, is this at all related to MRD's health thread?

[Gregoshi]

R.I.P. noisy farts.

[Hosakawa Tito]

Noise discipline. If there's two guys in a foxhole and one of them farts, everybody knows who did it.

I wonder how they feel about belching? Don't some cultures consider belching after a meal to be a compliment?

[Gregoshi]

I wonder how they feel about belching?
Probably not much different than they feel about the Dutch or the French. :inquisitive:

[Peasant Phill]

I haven't found it in English yet but apparently Holland is considering building a 2000m mountain.

http://www.hln.be/hln/nl/959/Bizar/article/detail/1312106/2011/08/31/Hollanders-dromen-van-berg-van-2-000-meter-in-de-polders.dhtml

[Fisherking]

If it will keep them off the roads in the Alps, then I am all for it! :laugh4:

Of course the country is so small they will have to expel about 10% of the population.

Would the refugees go to Belgium? :laugh4:

:creep:

[Tellos Athenaios]

If it will keep them off the roads in the Alps, then I am all for it! :laugh4: Doubt it. One mountain does not a ski resort make. Anyway this is just architect/engineer types having some what-if fun. For one thing local planning directives and civil procedures would make very short work of this.


Of course the country is so small they will have to expel about 10% of the population. Nope. Unlike, say, Sweden you can dig in soil for meters and dump the mud on a heap if you want to... here the Mountain will come to Mohammed.

[Fragony]

I haven't found it in English yet but apparently Holland is considering building a 2000m mountain.

http://www.hln.be/hln/nl/959/Bizar/article/detail/1312106/2011/08/31/Hollanders-dromen-van-berg-van-2-000-meter-in-de-polders.dhtml

It's way too much fun to not to, common it's a mountain

Love the article 'a bad joke or misguided arrogance' got to love the Flemish. As if we are really considering to built a 2000 meter high mountain. Still, why not we can throw stuff at Germans from there

Anyway, wild wolves have been spotted in the Neds. That is incredibly awesome

[Peasant Phill]

...As if we are really considering to built a 2000 meter high mountain...

Didn't the Netherlands once consider making itself into an island by digging wide canals around the country?

[Fragony]

Didn't the Netherlands once consider making itself into an island by digging wide canals around the country?

Not that I know of but not that bad an idea really. Nor is building a mountain if you really think about it, mountains are awesome, if it's privately-funded power to them. God didn't create the Netherlands it's ours

[Peasant Phill]

Here it is (http://www.cracked.com/article_18476_5-ancient-acts-war-that-changed-face-earth_p2.html)

I know it's not the most respected source but still.

[Montmorency]

I respect Cracked.com.

[Fragony]

Here it is (http://www.cracked.com/article_18476_5-ancient-acts-war-that-changed-face-earth_p2.html)

I know it's not the most respected source but still.

heh completely new to me, quite brilliant. Got to admit, we are ptretty good at being soewhere in the middle of England Germany and France

What you see on the first picture is part o the Deltawerken, it was made after the flood in the fifties of tlast century, it's new.. It's quite a feat to hold back the water like that https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z97gwh6KQz0

[Papewaio]

Nor is building a mountain if you really think about it, mountains are awesome, if it's privately-funded power to them.

I though a couple of puffs and they'd be floating way above any mountains.

[Papewaio]

Now this is really weird news:

Frenchman sued for not having enough sex.


The 51-year-old man was fined under article 215 of France’s civil code, which states married couples must agree to a “shared communal life”.

A judge has now ruled that this law implies that “sexual relations must form part of a marriage”.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/france/8741895/Frenchman-ordered-to-pay-wife-damages-for-lack-of-sex.html

What is the world coming to. It would have been more funny if it was also his mistress suing him for lack of sex...

[Tellos Athenaios]

I though a couple of puffs and they'd be floating way above any mountains.

Nah, we keep that to sell it to the French. They love that stuff, and it helps them with their language skills. (After a few they won't insist on speaking French anymore.)

[Tellos Athenaios]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/france/8741895/Frenchman-ordered-to-pay-wife-damages-for-lack-of-sex.html

What is the world coming to. It would have been more funny if it was also his mistress suing him for lack of sex...

Could be worse, they used to annul marriages in England if the groom wasn't well endowed enough to satisfy his missus -- regardless of how hard he tried. Yes, there are Church records of that, too.

[drone]

Frenchman sued for not having enough sex.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/france/8741895/Frenchman-ordered-to-pay-wife-damages-for-lack-of-sex.html

What is the world coming to. It would have been more funny if it was also his mistress suing him for lack of sex...
I wonder what would have happened if the roles had been reversed. :inquisitive:

[Fragony]

I though a couple of puffs and they'd be floating way above any mountains.

They are actually not all joking some are serious about it

[Fisherking]

I wonder what would have happened if the roles had been reversed. :inquisitive:

He would have gone to prison for assault and unwanted sexual advances of course.

[Peasant Phill]

Drunk moose had to be rescued (http://www.thelocal.se/36002/20110907/)


When Per Johansson of Särö, south of Gothenburg, returned home from work on Tuesday it was dark outside and the rain was coming down hard. Suddenly Johansson heard a bellowing noise from the garden next door.

“I thought at first that someone was having a laugh. Then I went over to take a look and spotted an elk stuck in an apple tree with only one leg left on the ground,” Johansson told The Local.

The unfortunate elk was desperately entangled in the tree’s branches and was kicking ferociously as Johansson approached.

[Hosakawa Tito]

Schweddy Balls (http://news.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474980197320). So, what's your favorite flavor?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVChao15oDw&feature=player_embedded

[Lemur]

Miami Invaded by Giant, House-Eating Snails (http://www.npr.org/2011/09/17/140540662/miami-invaded-by-giant-house-eating-snails)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/snails.jpg

In southwest Miami, a small subdivision is being called "ground zero" of an invasion by a destructive, non-native species.

"It's us against the snails," Richard Gaskalla, head of plant industry for Florida's Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services, tells weekends on All Things Considered host Guy Raz.

That's the Giant African Land Snail, to be precise. They can grow to be 10 inches long. They leave a slimy trail of excrement wherever they go. They harbor the microscopic rat-lung worm, which can transmit meningitis to humans. And they will literally eat your house.

"They'll attach to the side of the house and eat the stucco off the side of the house," Gaskalla says. The snails are also attracted to garbage and pet food that's been left out. [...]

Authorities are asking residents not to handle the creatures. Anyone who finds a suspicious snail is advised to call the Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services help line at 888-397-1517. Workers or volunteers will ID and collect the snails before taking them to be killed in a freezer.

[InsaneApache]

See, whilst the illuminati and the lizard people are co-ordinating under the directions of the Octo-Squids, we've been delberatly distracted by their underlings. I fear we may have had our false consciousness awakened too late.

[aimlesswanderer]

Someone needs to call the French, and tell them there's some mega, value for money escargot in Florida!

[InsaneApache]

The Starfish have moved into the English Channel. It's a pincer movement.

[Banquo's Ghost]

The Starfish have moved into the English Channel. It's a pincer movement.

Surely that requires the deployment of crabs?

[Hosakawa Tito]

That explains the strange creatures I caught off the mouth of the Chesapeake Bay a couple weeks ago.

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v517/hoppy84/IMG_0211.jpg
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v517/hoppy84/catch-o-the-day.jpg

[InsaneApache]

Surely that requires the deployment of crabs?

Reminds me of my mate who went to the quack and came back saying he had an infestation of lobsters. I said surely you mean crabs? No, he replied crabs move sideways.

[Tellos Athenaios]

Miami Invaded by Giant, House-Eating Snails (http://www.npr.org/2011/09/17/140540662/miami-invaded-by-giant-house-eating-snails)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/snails.jpg

In southwest Miami, a small subdivision is being called "ground zero" of an invasion by a destructive, non-native species.

"It's us against the snails," Richard Gaskalla, head of plant industry for Florida's Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services, tells weekends on All Things Considered host Guy Raz.

That's the Giant African Land Snail, to be precise. They can grow to be 10 inches long. They leave a slimy trail of excrement wherever they go. They harbor the microscopic rat-lung worm, which can transmit meningitis to humans. And they will literally eat your house.

"They'll attach to the side of the house and eat the stucco off the side of the house," Gaskalla says. The snails are also attracted to garbage and pet food that's been left out. [...]

Authorities are asking residents not to handle the creatures. Anyone who finds a suspicious snail is advised to call the Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services help line at 888-397-1517. Workers or volunteers will ID and collect the snails before taking them to be killed in a freezer.

This explains the terrorised by snail bit in that South African court story.

[Rhyfelwyr]

They know how to make education less geeky in Somalia... (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-14985549)


"A radio station run by Somalia's al-Shabab Islamist group has awarded weapons to children who won a Koran-reciting and general knowledge contest.

Andulus radio, based near Mogadishu, gave the group which won first prize in the Ramadan competition an AK-47 rifle and the equivalent of $700 (£450).

The second prize-winners received an AK-47 and $500, while the third prize was two hand grenades and $400.

In previous years, when the competition was organised in the southern port of Kismayo, the first prize included an RPG (rocket-propelled grenade launcher)."

[Lemur]

Wonder what the world will look like when the octosquids and their allies take over? Here's a preview.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ZS_6-IwMPjM

[gaelic cowboy]

Wonder what the world will look like when the octosquids and their allies take over? Here's a preview.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ZS_6-IwMPjM

No doubt they shall put us to work making there lives easier.

Dolphin's prosthesis an inspirational tail (http://www.rte.ie/news/2011/0922/dolphin.html)


A film has been released based on the story of how an Irishman, Kevin Carroll, developed a prosthetic tail for a dolphin.
Dolphin Tale is based on the story of Winter, a dolphin whose tail was lost in a crab trap six years ago.
She was brought to the Clearwater Marine Aquarium in Florida.
Mr Carroll, who is vice president of Hanger Prosthetics in the US, worked with his colleague, Dan Strzempka, experimenting with materials including rubber from car tyres before finally coming up with a new artificial tail for Winter.
The team developed a new gel, which they used in the construction of the prosthetic tail to protect the dolphin's skin.
Human amputees are already benefiting from breakthroughs the team made during their work. So-called Winter's gel is being used on human amputees in the US and will be available in Europe in the next couple of months.
Dolphin Tale is being released by Warner Brothers in the US this week

[Lemur]

It gets worse. Not only will we be building prostheses and playing music for them ... we will be their love slaves.

Man details sexual relationship with dolphin (http://www.3news.co.nz/Man-details-sexual-relationship-with-dolphin-in-book/tabid/418/articleID/226772/Default.aspx)

We all love dolphins, from Flipper to Opo — they are a friendly face to the human race. But Malcolm Brenner had a friendlier relationship than most. In 1970, the photographer embarked on a 9 month sexual relationship with Ruby, a captive female dolphin. He has now written a book about the experience called Wet Goddess (http://www.amazon.com/Wet-Goddess-Malcolm-J-Brenner/dp/0615334601). Mr Brenner spoke to Nightline from his Florida home. Below is the transcript of our conversation.

DF: Thanks for your time. How did this whole thing start?

MB: She began raking her teeth lightly against my arms and legs which was indescribably erotic. Some might find it frightening, I found it erotic.

DF: Now in your book, you talk about how that led on to you two having sex. A lot of people would say that's wrong, what's right in your mind about what you did?

MB: What was right with it is that the dolphin initiated the whole sexual thing. As I mentioned, she was in isolation — she'd be using me to satisfy her sexual needs.

The relationship lasted nine months. When Mr Brenner went to college Ruby passed away — possibly due to a broken heart. “I'd warn anyone who's in a relationship with a dolphin. You have to plan an exit strategy,” says Mr Brenner.

[Gregoshi]

Mr. Brenner left her high and dry...and probably on porpoise. But the 70's were a nicer time. If he left her today, he'd probably Flipper off.

[Conqueror]

This gives the term 'blowhole' a brand new meaning :creep:

[Lemur]

Yay! The igNobels are being awarded (http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/09/30/us-nobel-spoof-idUSTRE78S6VP20110930)! It's Christmas in October!

Prognosticators who predicted the end of the world and got it wrong, scientists who built a wasabi fire alarm, and researchers who studied how the urge to urinate affects decision-making were among the winners of spoof Ig Nobel prizes on Thursday. [...] g Nobels also went to researchers who found that the male buprestid beetle likes to copulate with Australian beer bottles called stubbies, and researchers who showed why discus throwers become dizzy and hammer throwers do not. [...]

A personal favorite of Marc Abrahams, editor of the Annals and architect of the Ig Nobels, is this year's winner for the Public Safety Prize, which went to John Senders of the University of Toronto, Canada.

Senders and colleagues conducted experiments to see how distractions -- in this case a helmet with a visor that repeatedly flaps over a person's face -- affects attention during highway driving.

"They put this on someone while this visor is flapping and blinding them," Abrahams said.

Remarkably, the driver fared quite well, Abrahams said.

Peter Snyder, a professor of Neurology at Brown University in Providence, Rhode Island, was part of two research teams who won the Medicine Prize for studying how the urge to urinate affects decision-making.

Snyder's team set up an experiment in which volunteers did computer tests and then periodically drank 250 ml (about 8 ounces) of water as the scientists measured the effects of the volunteers' gradually swelling bladders on attention and working memory. The aim was to see who could last the longest before bolting for the toilet.

The study found that attention and working memory suffer when you are so focused on having to pee.

"When you gotta go, you gotta go," Snyder said.

[Peasant Phill]

Yep, there was also a Belgian professor involved in the pee-experiment. his response: "science shouldn't be boring".
He's right, we at least got a good laugh out of it.

[Lemur]

Brazilian Woman Wins The Right To Masturbate And Watch Porn At Work (http://barbara.guanabee.com/2011/05/brazilian-woman-wins-right-masturbate-work/)

Ana Catarian Bezerra is a 36-year-old Brazilian woman who suffers from a chemical imbalance that triggers severe anxiety and hypersexuality. Ana, an accountant by day, began to have problems at work because the only way to relieve said anxiety is by masturbating. A lot. Now, after winning a court battle and seeking professional medical help, Ana is allowed to masturbate and watch porn — using her work's computer, no less — legally.

Ana wasn't always like this, she was worse:

"I got so bad I would to masturbate up to forty seven-times a day. That's when I asked for help, I knew it wasn't normal."

Carlos Howert, Ana's doctor, prescribes Ana with a "cocktail" (read: an entire medicine cabinet's worth) of tranquillizers. We're not sure how that "cocktail" doesn't knock Ana out (half a Claritin feels like an elephant tranquillizer to us), but thanks to Dr. Howert's concoction, Ana only has to masturbate around eighteen-times a day.

https://i95.photobucket.com/albums/l150/grygse/dowatnow2/76954493.jpg

[Lemur]

Florida's Dwarf Tossing Law Could Be Repealed to Ease Dwarf Unemployment (http://blogs.miaminewtimes.com/riptide/2011/10/floridas_dwarf_tossing_law_cou.php)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/dwarf_throw_main_553717a.jpg


Rep. Ritch Workman, R-Melbourne, is tired of Florida's Big Brother government standing in the way of people getting jobs. Jobs that include being tossed around by drunk dudes specifically, so he's on a mission to repeal the state's two-decade-old ban on dwarf tossing.

"I'm on a quest to seek and destroy unnecessary burdens on the freedom and liberties of people," Workman told The Palm Beach Post. "This is an example of Big Brother government."

"All that it does is prevent some dwarfs from getting jobs they would be happy to get," he added. "In this economy, or any economy, why would we want to prevent people from getting gainful employment?"

So Workman has filed a bill to repeal a 1989 law that bans dwarf tossing in the state.

Dward tossing, originally made popular in Australia, involves little people suiting up in Velcro-clad suits, usually at bars. Then patrons compete to see who can through the person farthest up a Velcro surface. The Little People of America lobbied to have the practice outlawed in Florida.

"Aside from the physical dangers, dwarf-tossing is a demoralizing activity that treats the person with dwarfism as a mere object," said an LPA official at the time.

[Lemur]

Women Invent Chemical Warfare in Wal-mart Fight (http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/maryland/baltimore-county/bs-md-co-bleach-assault-20111008,0,2540895.story)

A woman poured bleach and Pine-Sol on a Walmart customer in southern Baltimore County, police said, in an incident that closed down the store for several hours Saturday and sent 19 to area hospitals.

The suspect, a woman whom police have not identified, followed another woman into the store and assaulted her, county police spokesman Shawn Vinson said in an email. She later turned herself in and was arrested.

The two women knew each other and were involved in a continuing dispute, Vinson said. [...]

The store at the Lansdowne Station shopping center was evacuated and closed. The store reopened at 2 p.m. after employees cleaned up and ventilated the area, said Walmart spokeswoman Dianna Gee. Three employees suffered minor respiratory problems, she said.

"This is obviously not the type of behavior that we would expect from people at our stores," Gee said. "And we want to apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused other customers."

Baltimore County officials said ammonia had been thrown as well. Mixing ammonia and bleach can create a toxic gas that could lead to choking or other breathing problems.

[Tellos Athenaios]

Mixing ammonia and bleach can lead to a little more than “choking or other breathing problems”...

[InsaneApache]

Mixing ammonia and bleach can lead to a little more than “choking or other breathing problems”...
Hanving had a 'kick' from chorine gas I can asure you there is no little more than choking.

[CountArach]

A mish-mash of stories:

Amish men arrested for not putting orange triangles on buggies (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/09/15/police-arrest-amish-men-i_n_964682.html)

Nine Amish were sentenced to jail in Kentucky for breaking a state law that requires them to put orange signs on their horse-drawn buggies.

The triangular signs are required as a safety warning to indiciate slow-moving vehicles. But the men refused to comply with the law because their religious beliefs forbid them from wearing bright colors, The Courier-Journal reported.

Beard cutting feud in Amish Communities Erupts (http://www.smh.com.au/world/strangebuttrue/very-odd-beardcutting-feud-erupts-among-amish-20111010-1lga6.html)

Sheriffs in eastern Ohio are investigating a bizarre rash of home invasions in which Amish farmers are getting their beards cut off.

Members of a dissident Amish group called the Bergholz Gang are suspected of bursting into the homes of mainstream Amish and cutting - or attempting to cut - the facial hair of their targets.

The intruders then returned to their leader, hair in hand, to prove that his orders were being obeyed to the letter, the local Intelligencer and Wheeling News-Register newspaper reported.
Advertisement: Story continues below

One of four Amish men arrested over the attacks has been released as a result of mistaken identity but at least two of the others are expected to be charged, the paper said.

It said the assaults - which have also targeted the long tresses of Amish womenfolk - were motivated "for some reason" relating to faith.

[Tellos Athenaios]

Hanving had a 'kick' from chorine gas I can asure you there is no little more than choking.

... And did that kick involve dousing yourself with hyperchlorate acid first? ~;)

[Lemur]

Thieves Steal An Entire Metal Bridge in Pennsylvania (http://newsfeed.time.com/2011/10/08/thieves-steal-an-entire-metal-bridge-in-pennsylvania/)

Police in a small western Pennsylvania town are searching for a missing steel bridge. [...]

The 40-ton bridge, tucked away on an access road at an industrial park in the sparsely populated area near the Ohio border, isn't very heavily trafficked. But its disappearance is obvious, not least because it's worth an estimated $100,000.

The most likely scenario is that the thieves used a blowtorch to cut apart the bridge and haul it away. New Castle Development, who owns the property, remembers the bridge being there on Sept. 27. But sometime in the past 10 days, it disappeared. New Castle Development spokesman Gary Bruce told WFMJ, "I thought that with the rain it got washed away."

[InsaneApache]

... And did that kick involve dousing yourself with hyperchlorate acid first? ~;)

Nope. It was a chlorine gas cylinder whose lead washer had failed. Felt like getting kicked in the chest by a horse. Didn't do it again. Got the respirator out the next time. :idea2:

[Gregoshi]

Thieves Steal An Entire Metal Bridge in Pennsylvania (http://newsfeed.time.com/2011/10/08/thieves-steal-an-entire-metal-bridge-in-pennsylvania/)
They'll get caught. They won't be able to take a bridge too far.

[Veho Nex]

Thieves Steal An Entire Metal Bridge in Pennsylvania (http://newsfeed.time.com/2011/10/08/thieves-steal-an-entire-metal-bridge-in-pennsylvania/)

Police in a small western Pennsylvania town are searching for a missing steel bridge. [...]

The 40-ton bridge, tucked away on an access road at an industrial park in the sparsely populated area near the Ohio border, isn't very heavily trafficked. But its disappearance is obvious, not least because it's worth an estimated $100,000.

The most likely scenario is that the thieves used a blowtorch to cut apart the bridge and haul it away. New Castle Development, who owns the property, remembers the bridge being there on Sept. 27. But sometime in the past 10 days, it disappeared. New Castle Development spokesman Gary Bruce told WFMJ, "I thought that with the rain it got washed away."

One day they'll wish they didn't steal all bridges behind them.

[CountArach]

Thieves Steal An Entire Metal Bridge in Pennsylvania (http://newsfeed.time.com/2011/10/08/thieves-steal-an-entire-metal-bridge-in-pennsylvania/)
If they had parked their van on the wrong side of the river, would it have been...

Irony?

[Tellos Athenaios]

Heavy irony.

[Gregoshi]

A double cross.

[Lemur]

Zombies vs. Medics (http://m.sltrib.com/sltrib/mobile/52707235-183/platform-actors-injured-toronto.html.csp)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/zombiefoodpyramid.jpg

Sixteen actors dressed as zombies were injured Tuesday when they fell from a platform during filming of a new movie in the "Resident Evil" series, officials said, and rescue workers at first were startled at the seemingly catastrophic scene.

"I could see the look on the first paramedic, saying ‘Oh my God,’" Toronto emergency medical services Commander David Ralph said with a laugh.

The victims’ zombie costumes made it difficult at first for crews to assess the severity of their injuries, Toronto emergency medical spokesman Peter Macintyre said. Officials said none of the injuries were considered life-threatening.

Paramedics responded to the call from Cinespace Film Studios around 8:30 a.m., and Toronto Police Sgt. Andrew Gibson said responders quickly figured out which zombies were injured and which were just in character.

[Ronin]

Zombies vs. Medics (http://m.sltrib.com/sltrib/mobile/52707235-183/platform-actors-injured-toronto.html.csp)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/zombiefoodpyramid.jpg

Sixteen actors dressed as zombies were injured Tuesday when they fell from a platform during filming of a new movie in the "Resident Evil" series, officials said, and rescue workers at first were startled at the seemingly catastrophic scene.

"I could see the look on the first paramedic, saying ‘Oh my God,’" Toronto emergency medical services Commander David Ralph said with a laugh.

The victims’ zombie costumes made it difficult at first for crews to assess the severity of their injuries, Toronto emergency medical spokesman Peter Macintyre said. Officials said none of the injuries were considered life-threatening.

Paramedics responded to the call from Cinespace Film Studios around 8:30 a.m., and Toronto Police Sgt. Andrew Gibson said responders quickly figured out which zombies were injured and which were just in character.

that's a message from the universe...stop making crappy movies!
If they try to make a 6th one, I´m betting on a fire and brimstone kinda thing happening.

[drone]

Zombie triage:

Severe head wounds - Expectant
Light head wounds - Immediate
All else - Minor

[Lemur]

Family Lost in Corn Maze Calls 911


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5oblQonO0Qw

[Tellos Athenaios]

Guaranteed way to solve any solvable maze: (1) choose left or right hand, (2) trace your path through the maze with your left/right hand. This means you always “keep contact” with the maze wall/hedge/corn surface with the chosen hand (and therefore never cross pathways). The result is you will end up tracing the outline of the maze path with your hand and always find an exit (or your way back to the entrance).

[Vladimir]

It's corn! Pick a direction and walk!

Massholes.

[Ja'chyra]

Oh oh

Octosquid/shark war (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urkC8pLMbh4&feature=player_embedded)

[Vladimir]

Good. They're turning on each other now.

[Lemur]

Is that an unexploded bomb or are you just happy to see me? (http://www.shortlist.com/home/royal-navy-finds-61-bombs-at-nudist-beach)

The Royal Navy has unearthed a staggering 61 bombs after a two days sweep of a nudist beach on the Isle of Sheppey in Kent.

Bomb disposal was called in after 26 bombs - including two submarine depth charges and six 10lb mortar bombs - were washed up last month. Now, 61 more brings the total to 87.

North Kent coastguard manager Colin Ingram told the Telegraph: "It is quite a find. A lot of shooting and plane exercises happened around Leysdown. Sometimes the shells wouldn't go off when dropped from a plane, or shot from a rifle, but be cushioned by the mud and not explode."

[Gregoshi]

Thieves Steal An Entire Metal Bridge in Pennsylvania (http://newsfeed.time.com/2011/10/08/thieves-steal-an-entire-metal-bridge-in-pennsylvania/)

Bridge Steelers Caught (http://news.yahoo.com/brothers-charged-stealing-us-bridge-200130641.html?bouchon=504,pa)

They should have scrapped their plan, not the bridge.

[Vladimir]

Reminds me of the story of people scouring the wastelands of Detroit, or rather, the wasteland of Detroit, for scrap metal.

[Hosakawa Tito]

The wonders of celery.

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v517/hoppy84/celery.jpg

[Tellos Athenaios]

Crap alchemist jailed for poo-into-gold experiment (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/10/20/alchemy_sentence/)

What is it about Northern Ireland that makes it such an ever giving source of news of the weird?

[Lemur]

iPad-adjusted infant baffled by paper magazines


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXV-yaFmQNk

[InsaneApache]

It's the future guys.

Remember when Capt. Kirk had to ask Lieutenant commander Spock how to use a door knob?

I rest my case M'lud.

[Vladimir]

Kinda like when Warf walked into a door. Priceless.

[Lemur]

Shape-shifting prostitute turned into donkey, man claims (http://www.newzimbabwe.com/news-6349-Hooker+turns+into+donkey,+court+hears/news.aspx)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/Donkey.jpg

A MAN caught having sex with a donkey stunned a court on Monday by claiming that the animal was in fact a hooker he pulled from a nightclub.

Sunday Moyo, 28, from Mandava township in Zvishavane, was charged with bestiality on Monday.

Zvishavane magistrate Mildred Matuvi heard how Moyo was found by police officers on routine patrol performing a sex act on the animal inside his yard just after 4AM last Sunday.

The donkey, which had been tied by the neck to a tree, was lying on the ground. Although he was not formally asked to enter a plea, Moyo admitted committing the crime but told the magistrate an enthralling tale which had the court in stitches.

“Your worship, I only came to know that I was being intimate with a donkey when I got arrested,” he began. “I had hired a prostitute and paid US$20 for the service at Down Town night club and I don’t know how she then became a donkey.”

[Scienter]

^ The picture that goes with the article is priceless.

[Lemur]

An oldie but a goodie: suicidal, deranged penguin.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SeSH80zfb5k

[Lemur]

University's Official Statement About Mysterious Fate of Ducks (http://my.lynn.edu/ICS/Main.jnz?portlet=Announcements&screen=View+Post&screenType=next&Id=af33b80e-8369-40b3-9731-13db08822a40)

We have heard the concerns of our fellow staff members and students regarding the removal of the Muscovy ducks from campus.

Please know that we share your concerns and we’re also very disturbed by this news. After concerns were raised about growing unsanitary conditions around our dining facility and multiple attempts to mitigate this issue, we hired a state-licensed contractor in good faith to humanely capture the ducks with the understanding that they would be relocated to other wetland areas.

As soon as we heard the accusations regarding the ducks’ possible fate, we launched an investigation to find out what truly happened to the ducks that were removed.

Upon further inquiry, we have learned this morning that the contractor did relocate some of the ducks, but that most were handed off to third parties, and he does not really know what happened to them. The contractor is no longer cooperating with our investigation. We will never use his services again.

We deeply regret the way this situation was handled and how it has upset many Lynn employees and students alike.

There are a lot of other rumors and assumptions out there, and we would like to take this opportunity to remind everyone of the facts concerning the decision to remove the ducks.

The Muscovy ducks on campus were becoming a real health concern and a source of several complaints from many in the Lynn community.
Their excrement was all around the lake-side patio and other areas of campus. The excrement’s proximity to dining areas were creating unsanitary conditions. Excrement could easily be found on chairs and tables.
Much of this occurred because staff and students were feeding the ducks during lunch.
Several attempts were made to curb the number of ducks that came to be fed. They included the placement of signs asking people to not feed the ducks and installing mock ups of predatory birds such as owls. These efforts did not succeed.
Our staff made a concentrated effort to continually clean the excrement, but they were unable to keep up with the amounts produced by the quickly growing number of Muscovys.

If we had any idea that the contractor would not relocate all the ducks to a safe area, we would never have done business with him.

[Lemur]

Interstate 15 Shut Down by Millions of Bees (http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/10/25/us-bees-utah-odd-idUSTRE79O46A20111025)

A flatbed truck carrying hundreds of beehives overturned near a construction zone on a Utah highway, freeing millions of bees and forcing authorities to temporarily close Interstate 15, officials said on Monday

"The driver lost control, hit the concrete barrier and rolled over. Of course, we then had bees everywhere," said Corporal Todd Johnson with the Utah Highway Patrol.

The highway in southern Utah was shut down for several hours on Sunday evening and Monday morning, officials said. [...]

"There were about 450 colonies on the load and probably about 45,000 bees to the colony," said Richard Adee with Adee Honey Farms in Bruce, South Dakota.

That would translate to more than 20 million bees.

[Vladimir]

University's Official Statement About Mysterious Fate of Ducks (http://my.lynn.edu/ICS/Main.jnz?portlet=Announcements&screen=View+Post&screenType=next&Id=af33b80e-8369-40b3-9731-13db08822a40)

We have heard the concerns of our fellow staff members and students regarding the removal of the Muscovy ducks from campus.

Please know that we share your concerns and we’re also very disturbed by this news. After concerns were raised about growing unsanitary conditions around our dining facility and multiple attempts to mitigate this issue, we hired a state-licensed contractor in good faith to humanely capture the ducks with the understanding that they would be relocated to other wetland areas.

As soon as we heard the accusations regarding the ducks’ possible fate, we launched an investigation to find out what truly happened to the ducks that were removed.

Upon further inquiry, we have learned this morning that the contractor did relocate some of the ducks, but that most were handed off to third parties, and he does not really know what happened to them. The contractor is no longer cooperating with our investigation. We will never use his services again.

We deeply regret the way this situation was handled and how it has upset many Lynn employees and students alike.

There are a lot of other rumors and assumptions out there, and we would like to take this opportunity to remind everyone of the facts concerning the decision to remove the ducks.

The Muscovy ducks on campus were becoming a real health concern and a source of several complaints from many in the Lynn community.
Their excrement was all around the lake-side patio and other areas of campus. The excrement’s proximity to dining areas were creating unsanitary conditions. Excrement could easily be found on chairs and tables.
Much of this occurred because staff and students were feeding the ducks during lunch.
Several attempts were made to curb the number of ducks that came to be fed. They included the placement of signs asking people to not feed the ducks and installing mock ups of predatory birds such as owls. These efforts did not succeed.
Our staff made a concentrated effort to continually clean the excrement, but they were unable to keep up with the amounts produced by the quickly growing number of Muscovys.

If we had any idea that the contractor would not relocate all the ducks to a safe area, we would never have done business with him.

http://www.examiner.com/restaurant-in-baltimore/victoria-gastro-pub-duck-fat-fries-heaven

Coincidence? I think not.

[Lemur]

Canada Founded on "Relentless Pursuit of Beaver" (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/11/01/canadian_beaver/)

A Canadian politician has rather deliciously insisted that vast tracts of his nation were opened by "the relentless pursuit of beaver", an agreeable concept that for some reason conjures an image of Silvio Berlusconi furiously paddling a kayak through white water rapids in pursuit of a fleeing supermodel.

The description of Canada's beaver-hunting past comes from New Democratic Party MP Pat Martin, who isn't too impressed with Ontario senator Nicole Eaton's proposal to replace the beaver with the polar bear as the country's national emblem.

Eaton reckons the polar bear, with its "strength, courage, resourcefulness and dignity" is a more appropriate emblem for the 21st century than the "dentally defective rat" that has symbolised the nation since 1975.

She said: "A country’s symbols are not constant and can change over time as long as they reflect the ethos of the people and the spirit of the nation."

Martin, however, is having none of it. He countered: "Polar bears are cool but the beaver played a pivotal role in the history of Canada. It was the relentless pursuit of beaver that opened the great Northwest."

[Ronin]

LOT Boeing does emergency belly landing in Warsaw, no casualties (http://gizmodo.com/5855278/video-of-boeing-767-belly-landing-perfectly++no-injuries-or-casualties)


A Boeing 767 coming from Newark airport in New Jersey just landed in Warsaw without its landing gear. There were no casualties among the 230 passengers on board.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0HHy10gWeQ

I have seen bumpier landings with the benefit of a landing gear.
props to the captain.

[Vladimir]

There's an epic Polish joke in there somewhere.

They sure do like their risky landings.

[Crazed Rabbit]

A cunning legal strategy; (http://www.heraldnet.com/article/20111101/NEWS01/711019837#Writing-utensil-wielding-defendant-allegedly-stabs-yet-another-lawyer)


EVERETT -- Joshua Monson has run out of lawyers.

Monson, 28, already charged with attacking two defense attorneys, allegedly stabbed his third attorney Tuesday.

Snohomish County Superior Court Judge David Kurtz refused to declare a second mistrial. Instead, the judge ruled Monson has forfeited his right to be represented by counsel because of his courtroom behavior. The judge cited case law. He told Monson he's on his own in a trial on a felony drug charge.

Kurtz also ordered Monson to be strapped down in a special chair during the rest of the trial.

Earlier this week, Kurtz ruled that Monson would not have access to any writing utensils, including rubber pencils or pens. He is accused of smuggling pencils from the jail earlier this year and stabbing two lawyers.

Monson on Tuesday allegedly attacked Jesse Cantor with the Everett defense attorney's own pen.

Witnesses reported seeing Monson reach across the table, grab the pen and stab Cantor in the left side of the head. Cantor was not seriously injured.
...
Kurtz advised jurors to ignore the restraints. The judge also ordered the jury to disregard the incident involving Cantor's pen, and the defense attorney's sudden absence.

Monson is expected to be back in court this morning.

State doctors have concluded that Monson is competent to stand trial.

His mental state was called into question after he attacked his first attorney. The incident happened in May at the start of his initial trial on the drug charge. He was given a new lawyer. Within days, he allegedly attacked that man during a court hearing. The lawyers were not seriously hurt. Monson been charged with two counts of fourth-degree assault for the attorney stabbings. He also is accused of assaulting two corrections officers.

That is in addition to a second-degree murder charge connected to the Jan. 2 shooting of Brian Jones, 30, who was killed while talking on a cellphone in a south Everett apartment.

I'm predicting a guilty verdict.

CR

[Hax]

There's an epic Polish joke in there somewhere.

Heh, my thoughts exactly.

[Gregoshi]

There's an epic Polish joke pun in there somewhere.
Welcome to Polandski International Airport.

[Vladimir]

Thanks to CR:

http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/ultrasound-patient-s-testicles-reveals-startling-image-a-man-agony-article-1.971604

Ultrasound of patient’s testicles reveals startling image of a man in agony

https://img59.imageshack.us/img59/975/imagebjd.jpg (https://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/59/imagebjd.jpg/)

Uploaded with ImageShack.us (https://imageshack.us)

[Fisherking]

At least it wasn’t of the Virgin Mary. Some one would have whacked them off and offered them on eBay.

[Ronin]

Brazilian Police rams plane with SUV to prevent escape (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-15586909)


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45JNjfiGkTI

[Tellos Athenaios]

No idea what to make of this one: Nude lady recreates Star Wars tauntaun scene in dead horse (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/11/03/horse_oregon/)


An Oregon woman who posted photos of herself reclining nude and spattered with equine bodily fluids in the carcass of a dead horse has declared she was partly inspired by Star Wars.

Jasha Lottin and her friend John Frost came to the attention of authorities in Oregon after an animal lover in South Carolina took exception to a series of pictures of the aspiring model and the increasingly dismembered animal on 4chan.


The pictures, featured on Seattle Weekly, show the 21-year-old Frost, Lottin and the recently despatched and skinned 32-year-old horse in a number of poses, culminating with a nude Lottin climbing into the carcass of the animal, and then eating it.

[Lemur]

Why did this man have 26 female corpses in his apartment? (http://gizmodo.com/5856651/why-does-this-russian-have-27-female-corpses-in-his-apartment-nsfw-images)

The 45-year-old suspect, Anatoly Moskvina from Nizhny Novgorod, a city on the Volga, reportedly targeted the bodies of women between ages 15 and 26. He reportedly dug them up with a shovel and stuffed them into plastic bags before dragging them home. He would then dress them like dolls, and had more than two dozen stored in his apartment. His parents made the grisly discovery while visiting. Authorities are now considering charging him with desecrating human remains.

Russian media outlets have also reported that Moskvina planned to publish a guide book on exploring cemeteries and is considered something of a genius, capable of speaking 13 languages.

[Gregoshi]

So the man digs Barbies...

[Ronin]

maybe he needed them so he could use the carpool lane.

[Gregoshi]

maybe he needed them so he could use the carpool lane.
:laugh4:

Or the passing lane.

[Tuuvi]

Interstate 15 Shut Down by Millions of Bees (http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/10/25/us-bees-utah-odd-idUSTRE79O46A20111025)

A flatbed truck carrying hundreds of beehives overturned near a construction zone on a Utah highway, freeing millions of bees and forcing authorities to temporarily close Interstate 15, officials said on Monday

"The driver lost control, hit the concrete barrier and rolled over. Of course, we then had bees everywhere," said Corporal Todd Johnson with the Utah Highway Patrol.

The highway in southern Utah was shut down for several hours on Sunday evening and Monday morning, officials said. [...]

"There were about 450 colonies on the load and probably about 45,000 bees to the colony," said Richard Adee with Adee Honey Farms in Bruce, South Dakota.

That would translate to more than 20 million bees.

Believe it or not this one happened where I live. I drive down that part of the freeway just about everyday, I wish I could've been there when it happened but since I drive with my windows down it's probably a good thing I wasn't.

[Lemur]

Scientists want funding to study explosive duck erections (http://io9.com/5856827/fund-a-study-that-will-plumb-the-horrors-of-duck-sex)

In case you're unaware (http://io9.com/5433056/female-ducks-have-evolved-a-vagina-dentata), duck sex is perhaps the singularly horrific event of the animal kingdom, replete with labyrinthine vagina dentata, explosive erections, and the occasional dalliance with necrophilia.

Now, two biologists from the University of Massachusetts, Amherst are launching a project to measure the speed of the male duck erection. Their goal? To learn how rapid-fire duck penises affect their reproductive evolution.
Biologists Patricia Brennan and Diane Kelly have kicked off the Duck Force project at Rocket Hub (http://rockethub.com/projects/3769-force-of-duck-measuring-explosive-erection) to raise funds to explore the terrific speeds of duck intercourse.

Horrifying video beneath tag.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zU4TtO2mUbk

[Vladimir]

I know my duck erections, and I also know they suffer from Lemur's disease even if I can't find the relevant article.

[Hosakawa Tito]

Quack science.

[Veho Nex]

Those scientist have gone daffy.

[Lemur]

Donkey-lovers beware! Sex with animals linked to penis cancer! (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/45206258/ns/health-mens_health/t/sex-animals-linked-penis-cancer#.Trqhc0OXunA)

[M]en who had sex with animals in their lifetimes were twice as likely to develop cancer of the penis as others. The study of 492 men from rural Brazil found that 35 percent of study participants, who ranged from 18 to 80 years old and included both penile cancer patients and healthy men, reported having sex with animals (SWA) in their lifetimes. A team of urologists from centers around Brazil co-authored the paper, which looked at risk factors for penile cancer in men who had visited 16 urology and oncology centers in 12 Brazilian cities. In addition to SWA, three other risk factors for penile cancer were found: smoking, the presence of premalignant lesions on the penis and phimosis, a condition where the foreskin cannot be retracted over the penis.

Men who had sex with animals also reported a higher incidence of sexually transmitted diseases. [...]

The researchers found no association between penile cancer and the number of animals the men used over time, the species (which included mares, cows, pigs and chickens, among other animals) or the number of other men who also participated.

[Lemur]

Reporter gets circumcised with bamboo sticks, wins award (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/australiaandthepacific/papuanewguinea/8873556/Papua-New-Guinea-reporter-undergoes-circumcision-to-get-the-scoop.html)

A Papua New Guinea reporter who agreed to be circumcised with bamboo sticks to secure an interview with a group of jungle rebels has won a journalism award for “best scoop”.

The journalist, Simon Eroro, won the annual in-house award run by News Limited - Rupert Murdoch’s Australian arm - for a story which required him to cross rivers and jungles to reach a group of rebels, only to be told he must first agree to the circumcision as part of a cleansing ceremony. Mr Eroro agreed – and got the interviews.

[Ronin]

Donkey-lovers beware! Sex with animals linked to penis cancer! (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/45206258/ns/health-mens_health/t/sex-animals-linked-penis-cancer#.Trqhc0OXunA)

[M]en who had sex with animals in their lifetimes were twice as likely to develop cancer of the penis as others. The study of 492 men from rural Brazil found that 35 percent of study participants, who ranged from 18 to 80 years old and included both penile cancer patients and healthy men, reported having sex with animals (SWA) in their lifetimes. A team of urologists from centers around Brazil co-authored the paper, which looked at risk factors for penile cancer in men who had visited 16 urology and oncology centers in 12 Brazilian cities. In addition to SWA, three other risk factors for penile cancer were found: smoking, the presence of premalignant lesions on the penis and phimosis, a condition where the foreskin cannot be retracted over the penis.

Men who had sex with animals also reported a higher incidence of sexually transmitted diseases. [...]

The researchers found no association between penile cancer and the number of animals the men used over time, the species (which included mares, cows, pigs and chickens, among other animals) or the number of other men who also participated.

what I want to know is how do you get candidates for these studies???

[Lemur]

Good news: Dogs get beer. Bad news: It's non-alcoholic. (http://bowserbeer.com/)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/bowser-beer-for-dogs.jpg

What’s in Bowser Beer?


USDA beef or chicken.
Malt barley (full of B-vitamins) –just like in your beer.
Glucosamine for joint health.

What’s NOT in Bowser Beer:


Alcohol or carbonation.
Hops,which can be toxic to dogs.
Commercial broth,which contains loads of salt,fat,MSG,onions and meat of unknown origin.

Serving Suggestions:


Straight out of the bottle
Pour it over dry kibble
Flavor the water bowl
Pour over crushed ice for a cold,crunchy treat

[Ja'chyra]

Be afraid, they could be anywhere (http://www.practicalfishkeeping.co.uk/content.php?sid=4503&utm_source=PFK_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=November_11_2011&utm_term=Squid_and_octopus_control_light_to_avoid_being_eaten&utm_content=html)

[Hosakawa Tito]

Reporter gets circumcised with bamboo sticks, wins award (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/australiaandthepacific/papuanewguinea/8873556/Papua-New-Guinea-reporter-undergoes-circumcision-to-get-the-scoop.html)

A Papua New Guinea reporter who agreed to be circumcised with bamboo sticks to secure an interview with a group of jungle rebels has won a journalism award for “best scoop”.

The journalist, Simon Eroro, won the annual in-house award run by News Limited - Rupert Murdoch’s Australian arm - for a story which required him to cross rivers and jungles to reach a group of rebels, only to be told he must first agree to the circumcision as part of a cleansing ceremony. Mr Eroro agreed – and got the interviews.

That's enough to give you a shrunken head...

[Peasant Phill]

Donkey-lovers beware! Sex with animals linked to penis cancer! (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/45206258/ns/health-mens_health/t/sex-animals-linked-penis-cancer#.Trqhc0OXunA)

Men who had sex with animals also reported a higher incidence of sexually transmitted diseases. [...]

The researchers found no association between penile cancer and the number of animals the men used over time, the species (which included mares, cows, pigs and chickens, among other animals) or the number of other men who also participated.

Serious now. Wouldn't it be more logical that there is no direct link between bestiality and penis cancer but that practinioners of bestiality have also a higher chance to participate in other risky (for thier penis) behaviour?

[Tellos Athenaios]

Share and enjoy (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/11/14/gamification/)

Almost a million vending machines in Japan will be ready to start a personal relationship with shoppers, rewarding regulars with weather checks and even remembering their birthdays.

Punters can check into the machines using a camera-equipped phone to snap a QR code and assign an avatar to that machine. Check in often enough and you can accessorise that avatar with shoes and hats, and your favourite machine will send you chatty updates about the weather and suchlike. Check in on Christmas day and you'll get a special badge denoting you as someone who has no real friends with whom to spend the festive season.

[Papewaio]

Serious now. Wouldn't it be more logical that there is no direct link between bestiality and penis cancer but that practinioners of bestiality have also a higher chance to participate in other risky (for thier penis) behaviour?

Cancer's are linked in some cases with viruses. HPV for instance cause(d) most cervical cancers.

So it stands to reason if you expose yourself to more viruses you increase your chances of cancer.

[edyzmedieval]

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/cutline/occupy-wall-street-finally-gets-face-bloody-153643148.html;_ylt=AiAqNUiGLCHLmt.IpGyQBFes0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTNqZXBoczYxBGNjb2RlA2N0LmMEcGtnA2MxMGM4MD M1LWZhNzktMzc5MC1iNTJmLWY0ZmUyN2U1ZGNhMQRwb3MDNQRzZWMDbW9zdF9wb3B1bGFyBHZlcgM0YWJlZDc3MC0xMWZiLTExZT EtYjdmYy02NWIwMTE4ZDhiMjc-;_ylg=X3oDMTI1cjk4NXJqBGludGwDdXMEbGFuZwNlbi11cwRwc3RhaWQDBHBzdGNhdANob21lBHB0A3NlY3Rpb25zBHRlc3QDY2 9udHJvbF9wcm9tbw--;_ylv=3

(http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/cutline/occupy-wall-street-finally-gets-face-bloody-153643148.html;_ylt=AiAqNUiGLCHLmt.IpGyQBFes0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTNqZXBoczYxBGNjb2RlA2N0LmMEcGtnA2MxMGM4MD M1LWZhNzktMzc5MC1iNTJmLWY0ZmUyN2U1ZGNhMQRwb3MDNQRzZWMDbW9zdF9wb3B1bGFyBHZlcgM0YWJlZDc3MC0xMWZiLTExZT EtYjdmYy02NWIwMTE4ZDhiMjc-;_ylg=X3oDMTI1cjk4NXJqBGludGwDdXMEbGFuZwNlbi11cwRwc3RhaWQDBHBzdGNhdANob21lBHB0A3NlY3Rpb25zBHRlc3QDY2 9udHJvbF9wcm9tbw--;_ylv=3)
Before grabbing the hat, Watts allegedly threw an AAA battery at officers who had set up a barricade.

An AAA battery...? :inquisitive:

[Gregoshi]

An AAA battery...? :inquisitive:
He is charged with assault and battery. :laugh4: (That's a double!)

[InsaneApache]

https://img406.imageshack.us/img406/2760/epicfailphotosoddlyspec.th.jpg (https://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/406/epicfailphotosoddlyspec.jpg/)

Uploaded with ImageShack.us (https://imageshack.us)

[Hosakawa Tito]

https://img406.imageshack.us/img406/2760/epicfailphotosoddlyspec.th.jpg (https://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/406/epicfailphotosoddlyspec.jpg/)

Uploaded with ImageShack.us (https://imageshack.us)

Oh my! :laugh4: I had to enlarge the pic to read it.:laugh4: I guffawed so hard me coffee shot out me nose.:laugh4::laugh4::laugh4:

[Hosakawa Tito]

Electric blue lobster (http://www.nhm.ac.uk/about-us/news/2011/november/electric-blue-lobster-found-in-billingsgate-fish-market105386.html). Too purty to eat.

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v517/hoppy84/blue-lobster-490_105387_2.jpg

[Gregoshi]

Electric blue lobster (http://www.nhm.ac.uk/about-us/news/2011/november/electric-blue-lobster-found-in-billingsgate-fish-market105386.html). Too purty to eat.

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v517/hoppy84/blue-lobster-490_105387_2.jpg


My self-editor says my proposed comment to this story is inappropriate for the NotW thread and most likely in very poor taste...unlike this lobster - yum.

[Tellos Athenaios]

Man sues boss for 'condemning him to eternal damnation' (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/11/21/beast_sticker/)


An American man has brought a wrongful dismissal suit over his former employer's attempt to make him wear the number of the beast - in the guise of a safety record sticker.

[Hosakawa Tito]

A Cad with 8 Legs (http://news.yahoo.com/8-legged-sex-trick-spiders-worthless-gifts-play-114807706.html).

All hail the male nursery web spider (inspiration for all slut-rascal men everywhere!). According to a journal article by researchers in Denmark and Uruguay, the spiders have a good idea what their chances are of scoring, and the ungifted use two deceptions: Since only gift-givers of live protein (bugs) get to hit it, the losers (1) wrap worthless "gifts" to the female in silk and nail her while she's unwrapping them, and/or (2) engage in a tug-of-war with her over the gift and surprise her by hopping on. [ed. Note to gentlemen living in your parents' basement and who can't get a date: These are spiders who are smarter than you.]

[Hosakawa Tito]

Topless Basketball League (http://www.couriermail.com.au/entertainment/weird/topless-basketball-league-a-booby-prize-for-nba-fans-deprived-of-hoops-by-owners-lockout/story-e6frep26-1226204716284). Goodbye NBA.

[Gregoshi]

Goodbye NBA.
NBA = No Bras Allowed

[johnhughthom]

Only a crime if they are ugly? (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-15876968)

[Vladimir]

Time for me to go create wealth in Africa!