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The Norilsk tourism page appears to be legit. Horrifying, but legit. (http://www.norilskrussia.net/)
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/norilsk.jpg
Happiness and Sunshine
Norilsk sits atop a lush green landscape, bathed in oxygen rich, clean arctic air. Thick forest and dense grasses spread out in each direction for hundreds of miles. Thousands of species of plant and animal live together in multi-biological harmony. [...]
Adequate global supplies of nickel ensure that important household items such as hydrogenated vegetable oil and green tinted glass are economically viable to produce. Hero workers of Norilsk descend miles deep into the earth's crust in search of the world's most valuable metal. Above ground the mined source rock is crushed and smelted in a wholly carbon neutral process. So clean is waste ore that it is used as a garden fertilizer and colon cleansing tonic. Nickel mining in Norilsk not only serves the needs of global heavy industry, but also acts as a steward of the environment. [...]
In most countries, greedy corporations strip every resource, pay out bonuses to the connected elite, and leave behind an uninhabitable wasteland. Not so in Norilsk. The underground riches of Norilsk gush (not trickle) *up* to every level of its social strata. Enormous tax surpluses allow city planners to build infrastructure on an epic scale. Monuments to culture are sprouting alongside freshly paved, pothole free, cobblestone streets. By referendum, the hero workers of Norilsk voted for construction of art galleries, opera houses, globe theaters and multi-faith houses of worship - a direct reflection of the tolerant, cultured masses who reside in the world's most northerly city.
[Note that Norilsk is generally considered one of the five most polluted places on Earth (http://www.time.com/time/specials/2007/article/0,28804,1661031_1661028_1661022,00.html) —Lemur]
Lololol Brazil dad called Franz Beckenbauer names his son Zlatan Ibrahimovic.
Awesome
Major Robert Dump
06-26-2012, 14:04
The Norilsk tourism page appears to be legit. Horrifying, but legit. (http://www.norilskrussia.net/)
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/norilsk.jpg
Happiness and Sunshine
Norilsk sits atop a lush green landscape, bathed in oxygen rich, clean arctic air. Thick forest and dense grasses spread out in each direction for hundreds of miles. Thousands of species of plant and animal live together in multi-biological harmony. [...]
Adequate global supplies of nickel ensure that important household items such as hydrogenated vegetable oil and green tinted glass are economically viable to produce. Hero workers of Norilsk descend miles deep into the earth's crust in search of the world's most valuable metal. Above ground the mined source rock is crushed and smelted in a wholly carbon neutral process. So clean is waste ore that it is used as a garden fertilizer and colon cleansing tonic. Nickel mining in Norilsk not only serves the needs of global heavy industry, but also acts as a steward of the environment. [...]
In most countries, greedy corporations strip every resource, pay out bonuses to the connected elite, and leave behind an uninhabitable wasteland. Not so in Norilsk. The underground riches of Norilsk gush (not trickle) *up* to every level of its social strata. Enormous tax surpluses allow city planners to build infrastructure on an epic scale. Monuments to culture are sprouting alongside freshly paved, pothole free, cobblestone streets. By referendum, the hero workers of Norilsk voted for construction of art galleries, opera houses, globe theaters and multi-faith houses of worship - a direct reflection of the tolerant, cultured masses who reside in the world's most northerly city.
[Note that Norilsk is generally considered one of the five most polluted places on Earth (http://www.time.com/time/specials/2007/article/0,28804,1661031_1661028_1661022,00.html) —Lemur]
From the "people" page
The kindness of the people of Norilsk knows no boundaries.
Angels and Saints
The people of Norilsk are saints not yet canonized. Long hours of work in nickel mines bring them a modest paycheck, much of which is donated to charity. If you ever decide to visit the city of Norilsk, there is no need to bring food or money. A Norilsk smelter operator would give his last potato to a hungry traveler.
Peace and Tolerance
Not a single criminal can be found here. Those who do arrive with a checkered past are so amazed by the kindness and beauty of Norilsk’s inhabitants that they themselves are set straight. Not a single act of crime has been committed within the last one hundred years.
Love and Sharing
Doors are never locked and during the summer months are left wide open. Residents of an apartment building are free to eat from each others refrigerator, sit on their couch and watch television. If a large sum of money is found under the homeowner's mattress, it may be taken, then returned, or not, it doesn’t matter.
Norilskites are not bothered by the trivial pursuit of wealth accumulation. To the decadent Westerner, these feats of human kindness seem impossible, like something out of a science-fiction workers' utopia novel. In Norilsk it is reality. The people of Norilsk live on a higher plane of consciousness, one of boundless love and sharing.
Diversity and Multiculturalism
Immigrants arrive in Norilsk from all over the former Soviet Union and the world. After the 2008 financial crisis, thousands of American refugees fled to Norilsk in search of a better life and a piece of the Russian Dream. Most live on the west side of town in what has become a vibrant immigrant community. They are free to carry on the corporate holiday traditions of their homeland with no fear of persecution from their Russian hosts. The Superbowl, Valentines Day, Wrestlemania and Easter Breakfast at McDonalds are celebrated with no less intensity and zeal.
Gregoshi
06-27-2012, 04:12
The kindness of the people of Norilsk knows no boundaries...
Angels and Saints
The people of Norilsk are saints not yet canonized...
Peace and Tolerance
Not a single criminal can be found here. Those who do arrive with a checkered past are so amazed by the kindness and beauty of Norilsk’s inhabitants that they themselves are set straight. Not a single act of crime has been committed within the last one hundred years.
Love and Sharing
Doors are never locked and during the summer months are left wide open...
Diversity and Multiculturalism
Immigrants arrive in Norilsk from all over the former Soviet Union and the world...
Watch out Texas! The people of Norilsk are gunnin' for your (self-envisioned) reputation. :cowboy:
I fart in your general direction (http://www.northjersey.com/news/Police_Teaneck_man_72_accused_of_threatening_neighbor_with_gun.html)
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/I_Fart_In_Your_General_Direction.jpg
A 72-year-old man is accused of threatening his neighbor with a gun for farting outside his apartment, police said.
Daniel Collins Jr. is accused of pointing a silver revolver at his 47-year-old neighbor in the vestibule of their Cedar Lane apartment building and saying, “I’m going to put a hole in your head.” The confrontation occurred after Collins said his neighbor farted as he walked in front of Collins’ apartment, said Detective Lt. Andrew McGurr.
Collins told detectives he heard the un-neighborly act from inside his apartment. [...]
The men had an ongoing dispute stemming from noise complaints, McGurr said.
InsaneApache
06-27-2012, 15:15
The men had an ongoing dispute stemming from noise complaints, McGurr said.
http://www.fart-sounds.net/fart_sound_board.htm
:laugh4: I like a bit of toilet humour me.
Jew-Hating Tickle Me Elmo (http://gothamist.com/2012/06/25/video_crazy_anti-semitic_elmo_captu.php)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBe62Z3Htko
[A] man dressed as Elmo had to be taken out of Central Park in an ambulance after going on a disturbing, obscenity-filled rant in the Zoo.
According to authorities help was called after the man, dressed as Elmo, was ejected from the Zoo for pestering tourists and spewing obscenities and then continuing to do so in the park—leading him to be taken for observation. [...]
More disturbing is the fact that this does not seem to be an isolated incident. A quick YouTube search finds that somebody dressed as Elmo has been causing problems in the area quite a bit this year!
Collins told detectives he heard the un-neighborly act from inside his apartment. [...]
that's one hell of a sharp ear for a 72 year old.
WTA set to finally crack down on grunting in women's tennis (http://www.heraldsun.com.au/sport/tennis/wta-set-to-finally-crack-down-on-grunting-in-womens-tennis/story-e6frfgao-1226411702750)
THE annoying, ear-splitting grunting of women's tennis players could soon be a thing of the past as the Women's Tennis Association finally cracks down on a practice bemoaned by players and fans alike.
"It's time for us to drive excessive grunting out of the game for future generations," WTA chairwoman and chief executive Stacey Allaster said at Wimbledon overnight.
"The bottom line is that we want to bring forward across all levels of competition an objective rule through use of technology to make it much easier for athletes and chair umpires."
The WTA plan, which was agreed to by representatives of the four majors, the International Tennis Federation and the WTA players' council, includes:
The development of a handheld device [...] for umpires to objectively measure on-court grunting levels.
A new rule setting acceptable and non-acceptable noise levels based on acoustical data gathering and analysis.
Education at large tennis academies, national development programs and at all levels of junior and lower-tier professional events.
Allaster said the WTA had consulted experts in the field of sports science and psychology such as Rick Jensen, founder and director of Florida-based Performance Center; noted coach Nick Bollettieri; and past and present players, from Billie Jean King, Monica Seles and the Williams sisters, Serena and Venus.
However, she refused to use the phrase "grunt-o-meters" to describe the handlheld device or put a time frame on the system's implementation.
Lawsuits Claim Kim Kardashian Made a Sex Tape With a Unicorn, Is an Al Qaeda Operative (http://blogs.miaminewtimes.com/cultist/2012/06/insane_kardashian_lawsuits_cla.php)
[A] Brooklyn man "stumbled upon" Kim Kardashian, Kanye West, Kris Jenner, Bruce Jenner, Khloe Kardashian and Kourtney Kardashian at an Al Qaeda training camp in the West Virginia mountainside, where they burned the American flag and where West performed a concert for all the terrorists at the camp. According to the suit, via Wheeling, WV, CBS affiliate station WTRF [...]
The other suit, filed by plaintiff "Jonathan Kimberly," tells the harrowing tale of a simple man who just wanted to get some sleep -- but the celebrities in the room next door to his (room #69, of course) were making too much noise. "I heard a bunch of banging, and sounds of sheep," the suit reads.
When Kimberly went to the door to request that his neighbors keep it down, he saw through the peephole (which was apparently installed backwards?) that Kim Kardashian, Kris Humphries, and Myla Sinanaj were inside, making a sex tape as "sheep, two goats, and a unicorn" looked on.
Kimberly, naturally, assumed the animals were "witnesses."
He also saw an E! logo on the camera filming the action, and Kardashian injecting steroids into Humphries' arm, telling him, "I'm going to juice you up baby for the Nets season." Sinanaj, meanwhile, was "bobbing her head up and down with a voodoo doll in her hand and rosary beads."
Kimberly shouted through the door that he was trying to get some sleep. And that's when things got, um, "real."
InsaneApache
06-30-2012, 01:16
Man. You have way too much time on your hands. Did your gorgeous wife leave you?
Gregoshi
06-30-2012, 01:35
WTA set to finally crack down on grunting in women's tennis (http://www.heraldsun.com.au/sport/tennis/wta-set-to-finally-crack-down-on-grunting-in-womens-tennis/story-e6frfgao-1226411702750)
THE annoying, ear-splitting grunting of women's tennis players could soon be a thing of the past as the Women's Tennis Association finally cracks down on a practice bemoaned by players and fans alike...
The adult film industry, with similar issues, is closely monitoring this development in the tennis world...
You have way too much time on your hands.
If by "too much time on my hands" you mean "a superhuman talent for finding weird news," then yes!
Officers face sexual abuse and "insulting Turkishness" charges for screening Game of Thrones (http://www.hurriyetdailynews.com/army-officers-accused-of-sexual-abuse-following-game-of-thrones-screening-.aspx?pageID=238&nID=24530&NewsCatID=341)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yca1HbizssY
Nine army officers were accused of sexual abuse and violating Article 301 of the Turkish Penal Code by “insulting Turkishness” after screening the popular TV series “Game of Thrones” in class, daily Hürriyet reported.
The series was shown during a class at İzmir's Maltepe Military Academy as part of foreign language classes. [...]
The final report released by the committee of instructors claimed the series contained "pornographic elements" and "perverted and violent ways of sexual intercourse." The report also said the show encouraged the consumption of alcohol.
"The show in question may damage the evolving individual in ways [which are] extremely difficult to amend in the future," the report said.
The show was also found to be insulting to Turkishness by the committee, who claimed that "even though it is not directly said, it is easily understood by the audience."
"Our nation is shown as barbarians with perverted religious beliefs and customs," the report read. "The screening of this show may discourage students from their occupation, as well as weaken patriotic emotions."
China builds $3.5 billion ghost town in Angola (http://updatednews.ca/2012/07/03/angolas-chinese-built-ghost-town/)
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/ghosttown.jpg
Perched in an isolated spot some 30km (18 miles) outside Angola’s capital, Luanda, Nova Cidade de Kilamba is a brand-new mixed residential development of 750 eight-storey apartment buildings, a dozen schools and more than 100 retail units.
Designed to house up to half a million people when complete, Kilamba has been built by the state-owned China International Trust and Investment Corporation (CITIC) in under three years at a reported cost of $3.5bn (£2.2bn).
Spanning 5,000 hectares (12,355 acres), the development is the largest of several new “satellite cities” being constructed by Chinese firms around Angola, and it is believed to be one of the largest new-build projects on the continent.
The jewel in Angola’s post-war reconstruction crown, Kilamba is the star of glossy government promotional videos which show smiling families enjoying a new style of living away from the dust and confusion of central Luanda where millions live in sprawling slums.
But the people in these films are only actors, and despite all the hype, nearly a year since the first batch of 2,800 apartments went on sale, only 220 have been sold.
When you visit Kilamba, you cannot help but wonder if even a third of those buyers have moved in yet.
The place is eerily quiet, voices bouncing off all the fresh concrete and wide-open tarred roads.
There are hardly any cars and even fewer people, just dozens of repetitive rows of multi-coloured apartment buildings, their shutters sealed and their balconies empty.
US Government: Mermaids Do Not Exist (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-18692830)
There is no evidence that mermaids exist, a US government scientific agency has said.
The National Ocean Service made the unusual declaration in response to public inquiries following a TV show on the mythical creatures.
It is thought some viewers may have mistaken the programme for a documentary.
"No evidence of aquatic humanoids has ever been found," the service wrote in an online post. [...]
The article was written from publicly available sources because "we don't have a mermaid science programme", National Ocean Service spokeswoman Carol Kavanagh told the BBC.
She said that at least two people had written to the agency asking about the creatures.
The inquiries followed May's broadcast of Mermaids: The Body Found, on the Discovery Channel's Animal Planet network.
The National Ocean Service made the unusual declaration in response to public inquiries following a TV show on the mythical creatures.
It is thought some viewers may have mistaken the programme for a documentary.
let us keep in mind.....these people have the right to vote.
Tellos Athenaios
07-05-2012, 13:14
Rifle-waving Yank's premature detonation ruins city's big bang (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/07/05/premature_detonation/)
Kadagar_AV
07-05-2012, 16:23
Only in America... (http://www.local10.com/news/South-Florida-lifeguard-fired-after-saving-man/-/1717324/15402844/-/7gheuz/-/index.html)
Gregoshi
07-05-2012, 17:25
Only in America... (http://www.local10.com/news/South-Florida-lifeguard-fired-after-saving-man/-/1717324/15402844/-/7gheuz/-/index.html)
I see a company drowning in bad PR...and don't think anyone is going to call 911 to save them.
Women mistake police for strippers, cops play along (http://www.abc.net.au/news/2012-07-06/hen-pecked-humpty-doo-police-officers/4114154)
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/_42850605_stripperpa203.jpg
Northern Territory police officers have had a narrow escape from being hen-pecked in a serious case of mistaken identity.
The officers were called to respond to a disturbance at the Humpty Doo Tavern in Darwin's rural area late last night. [...] when they checked the nearby Humpty Doo Hotel, they were met by a group of women celebrating a hens' night. The women mistook the officers for strippers.
Northern watch commander Louise Jorgenson says the police were given a warm welcome by the group of women, some of whom had travelled from Airlie Beach in Queensland for the party. "The girls were in fine form," she said. "They were most excited about the police presence. There were various shouts about how the strippers had arrived. They nearly had their shirts torn off, but they managed to escape with their dignity intact."
Bride-to-be Wendy Haddon says the visit from the police added to the colour of the evening.
"Well, we thought they were going to be the strippers, actually," she said. "But, no, they weren't. [...] We sort of had a few photos taken ... had a bit of a play on the car. And, yes, they went along with it very well."
Only in Florida. There's a difference. :creep:
You don't happen to listen to UYD perchance?
I'm afraid I'm unfamiliar with the acronym you speak of. :book2:
Uhh Yeah Dude (http://uhhyeahdude.com/). They have a weekly segment: "This week in Florida". Florida is one crazy place.
Radioactive Trees Pose Forest Fire Risk (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-18721292)
Much of the 30km exclusion zone around the Chernobyl nuclear plant is pine forest, and some of it so badly contaminated that a forest fire could create a devastating radioactive smoke cloud. [...]
Firefighters in Chernobyl have one of the least enviable jobs in the world. They spend all day up rusty Soviet watchtowers, which sway in the wind like tin-box metronomes, and act as conductors to the huge lightning storms which swing across the land most afternoons in summer, often sparking fires.
When they spot a wildfire, the firefighters triangulate its location by radio. Teams jump aboard big, red, Soviet fire trucks, and lumber along cracked, overgrown roads to the source of the blaze.
Their equipment is very basic. They believe they know when they are fighting a radioactive fire - they experience a tingling, metallic sensation in their skin - but they do not fully understand the serious dangers of being exposed to superheated radioactive particles.
My Little Pony Erotic Magazine Sells for $1,000+ (http://www.flayrah.com/4149/my-little-pony-fan-erotica-magazine-tops-1000-auction)
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/HoofBeat250.jpg
A copy of My Little Pony-themed erotica magazine Hoof Beat created by "popular furry artists" has been bid up to four figures at auction, with one day to go.
Two regular FurBuy users ran the price up to $826 over two days before new bidders joined in.
Another copy was recently sold for $150 on eBay, where the creators are listed as Sunshy, Wind Driven, Leche, Flanks and Don't Ask Spike.
The 58-page 10 5/8"x7 3/4" softcover colour work, produced in a print run of 200, was originally sold for $25 at Anthrocon 2012 via the Club Stripes table.
Three comics are included, plus a number of pin-ups.
Kadagar_AV
07-08-2012, 16:05
I... That... But... GAH!!
Tellos Athenaios
07-08-2012, 16:23
It's a bit steep but otherwise we should probably chip in to give Fragony a copy given the nature of his run in with the My Little Pony board and its moderatrix.
Mayor reserves more difficult parking spaces for men. (http://now.msn.com/now/0707-men-only-parking.aspx?_p=5eab4c23-0037-42d9-bff1-a50626931fd8)
Gallus Strobel must not be facing re-election any time soon, because he's pretty much alienated any female constituency he might have. The mayor of tiny Triberg in the Black Forest has divvied up the town's parking spaces by gender: 12 wide, well-lit spots for women and narrow, angled spaces for men who, he insisted, "are, as a rule, a little better at such challenges." He said he's prepared for any "political correctness" backlash he might face, but insists the edict has been good publicity for his town. Even if science seems to suggest he should park his theory someplace else.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39qdhbkTko4
:grin:
Woodchucks conduct mass theft of American flags (http://www.registerstar.com/articles/2012/07/07/news/doc4ff8c3e9b3ead811499603.txt)
Hudson Police believe they have identified the perpetrators of a rash of flag thefts in the Grand Army of the Republic section of Cedar Park Cemetery. It appears to have been an inside job: All signs are now pointing to some underground residents of the cemetery itself.
Around 75 flags have been reported missing from Civil War graves in the days leading up to and following our nation’s Independence Day celebrations.
The culprit?
Woodchucks.
“I think for the most part we’ve confirmed that’s the case,” Mayor Bill Hallenbeck said Saturday. Police used pole cameras to check woodchuck holes. “They confirmed there are flags down there.”
The pole camera images are not in color, he said, but the white-and-black images were close enough to identify the flags.
While that evidence could be circumstantial, the police also have still photos from a motion-activated camera that showed a gopher at a flag, the mayor said.
“Shortly after this, another one showed the flag was gone,” he said. [...]
Cemetery volunteer caretaker Vincent Wallace participated in the investigation. Although he said he had seen no definitive evidence, “right now it looks like the woodchuck is the culprit. He was right there where the flag was gone.”
In addition, Wallace said, “the mechanics of removal from the pole indicate that an animal had removed them.”
Investigators observed that flags had been pulled down with the flagpole still in the holder, Wallace said.
“The flag is only a foot to 18 inches off the ground,” he said. “A human would have ripped it upwards.”
I have just the man for the job!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bv87T1CQF8E
There Goes My Plan to Work in Canada (http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/politics/ottawa-brings-down-curtain-on-foreign-strippers/article4388100/)
Canada’s strip-club industry says it will recruit international students in an effort to replace hundreds of foreign dancers who will be kicked out of the country under new federal immigration rules.
The industry says many adult entertainment clubs risk going under in light of new changes to the Temporary Foreign Worker program announced Wednesday. [...]
A spokesman for the strip-club industry said there are more than 700 dancers currently working in Canada on one-year visas.
Tim Lambrinos of the Adult Entertainment Association of Canada said it’s unfair of the government to link legal dance clubs with illegal prostitution. He said the federal changes will actually make many foreign dancers more vulnerable, because many will move to the underground sex trade rather than leave the country.
He also says strip-club managers will have to try new ways of finding dancers to replace the temporary foreign workers.
“They’re destroying the industry by creating a labour shortage,” he said. “You may see Adult Entertainment Association workshops in the University of Ottawa, the University of Toronto, Ryerson, George Brown.”
Mr. Lambrinos noted that foreign students are allowed to work part time and that dancing is a legal profession.
“The word exotic means foreign, and that’s what people want to see,” he said.
Gregoshi
07-12-2012, 02:19
Woodchucks conduct mass theft of American flags (http://www.registerstar.com/articles/2012/07/07/news/doc4ff8c3e9b3ead811499603.txt)
A woodchuck medley.
Where have all the grave flags gone?
Long time passing.
Where have all the grave flags gone?
Long time ago.
Where have all the grave flags gone?
Gone to woodchucks everyone.
When will we ever learn?
When will we ever learn...
...I'm proud to be in America
Where I get my bed for free.
And I won't forget the men who died
So I could take their flags for me.
And I'd gladly stand up on the grave
To take that flag away.
There ain't no doubt it's a comfy flag
God Bless the USA!
Tellos Athenaios
07-13-2012, 20:25
Kitsap, Washington (USA) is declared the first Area Of Outstanding Natural Stupidity (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/07/13/kitsap_honour/).
Triggered by:
Well, it didn't take long for reader Joseph Dougherty to provide the final piece of evidence needed for Kitsap's elevation to glory. Try this sad report (http://abcnews.go.com/news/t/blogEntry?id=15781890) on the nine-year-old lad who accidently shot his eight-year-old female classmate.
The gun apparently "discharged from the boy's backpack" at school. His parents are separated, and he allegedly "got the gun from his mother's boyfriend when he was visiting her".
Obviously, we're not suggesting the poor nipper himself is responsible for Kitsap's AOONS classification. That honour should go to his mum, for her outstanding parenting skills.
:no:
Major Robert Dump
07-13-2012, 21:37
Americas's most notorious toe sucker strikes again, this time with a hint of creativity.
They should just give this guy a show
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/bizarre/notorious-walmart-toe-sucker-356129
InsaneApache
07-14-2012, 08:23
Americas's most notorious toe sucker strikes again, this time with a hint of creativity.
They should just give this guy a show
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/bizarre/notorious-walmart-toe-sucker-356129
Oh man that sucks! Still it looks like the cops have the case licked.
Major Robert Dump
07-14-2012, 09:42
I think this is the dude who crawls through girls windows and wakes them by sucking on their toes.
Vladimir
07-14-2012, 13:55
Oh man that sucks! Still it looks like the cops have the case licked.
I don't think those flatfoots have the cheek to jam this case shut.
Gregoshi
07-14-2012, 16:13
Americas's most notorious toe sucker strikes again, this time with a hint of creativity.
I blame it on the liquor.
I think this is the dude who crawls through girls windows and wakes them by sucking on their toes.
He has a natural ally in Hawaii. (http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-201_162-57472340/hawaii-attorney-convicted-in-ear-licking-case/)
LIHUE, Hawaii - A judge called a Hawaii attorney convicted of harassment a "dirty old man" for licking a client's ear.
After a bench trial, Kauai attorney Lawrence McCreery, 64, was found guilty of harassment Thursday after a former client testified that while discussing her child custody case last year, he licked the back of her right ear.
She said he told the 21-year-old woman while touching her arm, "You look so good," and "Too bad you're married," according to the Kauai prosecuting attorney's office. The woman said he made a "weird sound" and hugged her tightly right before the licking.
McCreery testified to deny he licked her. He claimed she initiated the hug.
Per Diem Fifth Circuit District Court Judge Frank Rothschild ruled there's no evidence the woman made up the story. McCreery, who was licensed to practice law in Hawaii in 1975, was ordered to a pay a $250 fine, prosecutors said.
"Quite frankly," Rothschild said, "these are the actions of a dirty old man."
Gregoshi
07-14-2012, 17:44
LIHUE, Hawaii - A judge called a Hawaii attorney convicted of harassment a "dirty old man" for licking a client's ear.
I still blame it on the liquor.
Cat mayor celebrates 15 years on the job (http://www.torontosun.com/2012/07/16/cat-mayor-celebrates-15-years-on-the-job)
After 15 years, the term of the mayor of an Alaska town shows no signs of stopping anytime soon.
Stubbs, a part-manx cat with a short tail, has been the mayor of Talkeetna since he was elected shortly after his birth, KTUU-TV reported.
Back then, several of the town's 900 residents didn't like the human candidates who were running for mayor so they encouraged everyone to vote for Stubbs the cat as a write-in candidate. The cat won the election and has been mayor ever since, the station reported.
Stubbs spends much of his time at Nagley's General Store, where he is quite popular.
"Oh my gosh, we probably have 30 to 40 people a day come in who are tourists wanting to see him," Lauri Stec, who works at the general store, told KTUU.
Talkeetna is located near Mount McKinley and is about 180 km northwest of Anchorage.
English As She Is Spoke (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/English_As_She_Is_Spoke)
(maybe my favorite book of all time)
"Nobody can add to the absurdity of this book, nobody can imitate it successfully, nobody can hope to produce its fellow; it is perfect." — Mark Twain
Enjoy the brilliance:
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/eng1.jpg
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/eng2.jpg
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/eng3.jpg
Tellos Athenaios
07-16-2012, 22:37
Now I'm just waiting for a pun as she is spoke involving, toes, licking, cats, Alaska, possibly a teen and some unintentional side effects. Over to you... Gregoshi?
Gregoshi
07-17-2012, 00:55
Now I'm just waiting for a pun as she is spoke involving, toes, licking, cats, Alaska, possibly a teen and some unintentional side effects. Over to you... Gregoshi?
No. NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=klVhwlwHhY4
Irony Overload: DVD anti-piracy advertisements feature ... wait for it ... pirated music (http://torrentfreak.com/rights-group-fined-for-not-paying-artist-for-anti-piracy-ad-120717/)
In 2006, Dutch musician Melchior Rietveldt was asked to compose a piece of music to be used in an anti-piracy advert. It was to be used exclusively at a local film festival.
However, when Rietveldt bought a Harry Potter DVD in 2007, he discovered his music being used in the anti-piracy ad without his permission. In fact, it had been used on dozens of DVDs both in the Netherlands and overseas.
In order to get the money he was owed, Rietveldt went to local music royalty collecting agency Buma/Stemra who had been representing him since 1988 but had failed to pay him any money for the anti-piracy piece previously registered with them.
Eventually Stemra sent Rietveldt an advance of 15,000 euros along with a promise to forward a list of all the other DVDs that the composer’s music had been used on. That list never arrived, but according to the Amsterdam Court this week it amounted to at least 71 commercial DVDs. [...]
The case caused a scandal in the Netherlands last year following discussions Rietveldt had with Buma/Stemra board member Jochem Gerrits about getting the money he was owed.
In order to help, Gerrits suggested that the composer should sign his track over to High Fashion Music, a label owned by Gerrits himself and one that would take 33% of Rietveldt’s royalties for its trouble.
Gregoshi
07-17-2012, 21:42
Irony Overload: DVD anti-piracy advertisements feature ... wait for it ... pirated music (http://torrentfreak.com/rights-group-fined-for-not-paying-artist-for-anti-piracy-ad-120717/)
This ad is rated ARRRRRRR.
Traffic signs and prostitutes: Eternal War (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/australiaandthepacific/newzealand/9404669/Traffic-signs-in-New-Zealand-destroyed-by-prostitutes-performing-stunts.html)
https://i.imgur.com/MjBpH.jpg
Dozens of traffic signs have been destroyed by prostitutes performing pole-dances in the street to attract clients, officials in New Zealand's biggest city have revealed.
More than 40 poles have been bent, buckled or broken in the past 18 months in one area of south Auckland, New Zealand, it is claimed.
The signs, bearing legally required notices such as parking restrictions, are thought to have cost ratepayers thousands of dollars to replace.
"Prostitutes use these street sign poles as dancing poles," said Donna Lee, an elected member of the city council's Otara-Papatoetoe Local Board.
"The poles are part of their soliciting equipment and they often snap them.
"Some of the prostitutes are big, strong people."
Kadagar_AV
07-18-2012, 21:07
The signs, bearing legally required notices such as parking restrictions, are thought to have cost ratepayers thousands of dollars to replace.
Now now... Some things are worth every dime we pay in taxes.
The signs, bearing legally required notices such as parking restrictions, are thought to have cost ratepayers thousands of dollars to replace.
Hopefully the city council learned their lesson and replaced them with proper 2" brass poles securely placed in concrete footings. :yes:
Major Robert Dump
07-18-2012, 22:20
I didn't realize NZ was so cool. Is prostitution legal there??
I wonder if the signs are sticky.
Shock and controversy over military 'brony' movement (http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/07/18/military-my-little-pony-fan-club/#ixzz2104yAW8L)
There's a new insignia showing up on the sleeves of a small group of military men, but instead of denoting rank, it advertises their love for a cartoon inspired by the girlish 1980s plastic toy called "My Little Pony."
So-called "Bronies," adult men who are fans of the TV show "My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic," have apparently been around at least since 2010, when the Hasbro-owned cartoon first aired. Within their ranks are "Military Bronies," service members from all branches of the military who share their love of the show and wear the "cutie mark" -- a Rainbow Dash patch on their uniforms, Army Times first reported. [...]
At a recent convention dubbed "BronyCon 2012" in Secaucus, N.J., civilian Bronies cheered wildly when they spied brethren in uniform, according to the website BuzzFeed.
“We barely made it up to the top steps and everyone outside was cheering for us," a National Guardsman identified as Darius told the site. "I didn’t know they were cheering for us, I thought one of the other guys had showed up, I thought it was [voice of the character "Discord"] John de Lancie or Lauren Faust. I started clapping because I figured if everyone else was clapping I’d do it too. Then my friend was like, ‘no dude, they’re clapping for us.’”
Not everyone gets it. A commenter on a Military Times forum was just one of many who questioned why grown men would feel such allegiance to a kids' cartoon.
“I can think of at least four violations here: wearing a duty uniform while supposedly off-duty or at an unauthorized location; wearing an official Army uniform to an event that I guarantee the Army is not officially involved with; wearing a non-sanctioned patch on the uniform in place of current unit patch; and attending a My Little Pony convention.”
Major Robert Dump
07-20-2012, 02:39
BAh. While not appropriate stateside, guys in theater who regularly go outside the wire like to replace their tabs and patches on their uniforms with silly things, if they have a cool enough chain of command who will let them, with the understanding to take it off before returning to the FOB or having your picture taken by PAOs.
I kept my unit patch, but had a tab that said "Shrek" on it, because I am a giant ugly guy. Other guys in the unit had "fister" "douchebag" "don't shoot!" "1620" "cannon fodder" and the ilk. Occasionally, regular army blowhards we encountered in the field would call us on it, and we would blow them off. Sometimes they would complain to the BSO, and we would blow them off.
We also made a 45th IBCT Thunderbird patch that was 5x its normal size to make fun of the 1CAV patch that is so damn big it overhangs the patch section of the shoulders on uniforms. Apparently they are jus ttoo proud to shrink their patch 2 inches. So we made a giant thunderbird patch (our patch is on a diamond shaped background) that literally stuck off all four sides by an inch. We thought it was very funny. 1CAV didn't. One of us got in Stars and Stripes with it. The SGMs were frothing at the mouth. Screw them all.
Let the boys have their fun. It's war.
Major Robert Dump
07-21-2012, 02:56
As a National Guard unit, you will have two seperate patches. Your state unit, and then the Division/Brigade you fall under, the battle space owner, while in theater. Trust me, they weren't taking off their 45th IBCT patches. It was the 101st (2010) and 1CAV (2011) patches they swapped out. NG will wear those with "pride" when said Divisions stop treating us like dirt.
I could also argue that unit patches get units in trouble, and have no place in the combat zone outside the wire. Theater rule now is that they don't want unit insignia stenciled on MRAPs in Afghanistan anymore, we could easily apply the same rationale to people on foot. One of the worst losses we suffered in Iraq was a retaliatory attack for some drunken 101 soldiers raping a 13 year old and murdering her and her family and covering it up. The locals who had nothing to do with the insurgents and were just dumb regular folk organized a retaliation attack directed specifically at a 101 checkpoint, several lost their lives and a couple were abducted and never rescued. The 101 had to be moved out of the area, and 101s attached to other units yanked their patches because the shieks told their COs that even in cooperative nieghborhoods that patch would endanger the unit.
I guess this isn't really the thread for this. You Regulars are so serious sometimes. :shrug:
Blind dog gets seeing-eye goose (http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/861546-cute-alert-goose-looks-after-blind-dog#ixzz1KITaWjIU)
https://i.imgur.com/ozALC.jpg
Blind boxer dog Baks has got a new lease of life - after being taken under the wing of a pet goose called Buttons.
Buttons the four-year-old goose leads her pal around everywhere either by hanging onto him with her neck, or by honking to tell him which way to go.
Owner Renata Kursa, 47, of Lublin, Poland, was heartbroken when Bak was left blind after an accident last year.
'But gradually Buttons got him up on his feet and starting walking him around. They're inseparable now - they even chase the postman together,' she said.
Developer accused of selling DLC to cats (http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/118629-Developer-Accused-of-Selling-DLC-to-Cats)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XK2dwTVi-aQ
As the title implies, Games for Cats isn't for you, unless you're very easily entertained. [...] The game offers an additional level for a mere 99 cents, easily accessed and bought via a user friendly menu. Very user friendly. So user friendly, in fact, that even cats can use it. Perhaps you can see how that might be a problem.
Hiccup, the game's developer, received a ton of complaints from upset customers whose cats had managed to purchase the the aforementioned DLC. Some even went as far as to suggest that Hiccup was deliberately trying to fool the cats into buying the DLC. [...]
Rather than submit to the raw purrchasing power of the Felis catus, Hiccup instead implemented a simple test to make sure the user is a member of the right species. Now, before buying DLC, the user has to place their hand on the screen and keep their fingertips in the same position for a couple of seconds.
Catastrophe averted.
That really got his goat (http://www.abc4.com/content/news/top_stories/story/Hiker-spots-man-in-goat-suit-frolicking-with-a/8tKqdZF7s0eioSivDg8O-w.cspx)
Coty Creighton was hiking Ben Lomond peak early Sunday morning, when he came across a herd of goats and noticed one was trailing behind. Coty pulled out his binoculars to get an even closer look, and realized it was a man, acting like a goat.
"His goat costume was definitely home made, it wasn't done very well he had a full mask covering his face up and fake horns coming off the top of his head, he even had to lift the mask at times to make his way and see over rocks and bushes," Creighton said.
Creighton tried to rationalize it, thinking the guy may have been a photographer, but he had no gear.
"Once I realized he had no camera gear or anything else, it went from being really funny to really creepy," he said.
Creighton said the man was literally acting like a goat. At one point, the man took off his mask and spotted Coty watching him.
"So he just kind of froze in his tracks, he was on his hands and knees just kind of staring at me,” Creighton said.
At that point, Coty said the man sat down and began to sulk. Creeped out, Creighton left.
Kit Kat uses pedobear for promotion, feels bad about it (http://www.businessinsider.com/nestle-pulls-kit-kat-mascot-that-looks-like-pedobear-2012-7)
https://i.imgur.com/sw5Dx.jpg
Nestle has pulled an image from its Kit Kat Facebook page because the mascot featured in it looked a whole lot like Pedobear.
If you're not familiar with Pedobear, it's an internet meme of a pedophilic bear used to mock pedophiles.
Nestle Australia & New Zealand confirmed to The Age that it created the image to launch its Instagram account, but say that it had no idea that Pedobear existed. Here's the statement it gave The Age:
“We produced this photo – of a real guy in a bear suit - to launch Instagram through our Facebook community. The picture is not Pedobear. We had never heard of Pedobear. But when the possibility of its similarity to the so-called 'Pedobear' was raised with us, we immediately removed it.”
Major Robert Dump
07-24-2012, 00:05
That really got his goat (http://www.abc4.com/content/news/top_stories/story/Hiker-spots-man-in-goat-suit-frolicking-with-a/8tKqdZF7s0eioSivDg8O-w.cspx)
Coty Creighton was hiking Ben Lomond peak early Sunday morning, when he came across a herd of goats and noticed one was trailing behind. Coty pulled out his binoculars to get an even closer look, and realized it was a man, acting like a goat.
"His goat costume was definitely home made, it wasn't done very well he had a full mask covering his face up and fake horns coming off the top of his head, he even had to lift the mask at times to make his way and see over rocks and bushes," Creighton said.
Creighton tried to rationalize it, thinking the guy may have been a photographer, but he had no gear.
"Once I realized he had no camera gear or anything else, it went from being really funny to really creepy," he said.
Creighton said the man was literally acting like a goat. At one point, the man took off his mask and spotted Coty watching him.
"So he just kind of froze in his tracks, he was on his hands and knees just kind of staring at me,” Creighton said.
At that point, Coty said the man sat down and began to sulk. Creeped out, Creighton left.
He will suffer the same fate of Grizzly Man!
Illinois man pleads guilty to illegally obtaining deer semen in East Texas (http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/sns-ap-tx--deer-semen-plea-20120712,0,6995089.story)
An Illinois man has pleaded guilty to illegally obtaining whitetail deer semen valued at $55,000. That semen came from a buck in East Texas that he knew had been transported illegally from an out-of-state source.
U.S. Attorney John M. Bales says that semen came from a buck in East Texas that Raymond Favero knew had been transported illegally from out of state. The 55-year-old Braidwood, Ill., man entered his guilty plea Wednesday in a federal court in Tyler.
You never know when gay porn will take over your TV (http://www.thespec.com/news/local/article/708898--oops-a-morning-news-broadcast-to-remember)
https://i.imgur.com/nNJq9.jpg
It started as a routine visit to the dentist.
Joey Stewart, 32, was in his downtown dentist office Friday morning getting a temporary crown. While waiting for it to harden, his dentist flipped on the TV to CHCH. Suddenly, Stewart and his dentist found themselves watching explicit gay pornography.
“It's surreal. I knew right away that something was up,” Stewart said. “Not every day in the dentist's office do you sit up and see — you know — that.”
CHCH viewers were shocked when the station's normal morning news programming was interrupted by about a minute of adult programming.
The mishap quickly went viral, inspiring global news stories and several Twitter hashtags — including #porngate and #CHPorningLive.
CHCH news director Mike Katrycz said the problem arose after a botched repair at the station's cable company.
Sometime on Thursday night, a cable was cut. When it was being fixed Friday morning, the adult programming was accidentally spliced to CHCH's feed.
“It didn't originate with us,” said Katrycz. “We are apologizing to our viewers. We hope they understand it was beyond our control.”
Katrycz said he believes the station ultimately aired about a minute of “hard-core pornography.”
“It seemed like an eternity,” he said.
Gregoshi
07-24-2012, 20:34
You never know when gay porn will take over your TV (http://www.thespec.com/news/local/article/708898--oops-a-morning-news-broadcast-to-remember)
It started as a routine visit to the dentist...\
Bet they found a cavity. And drilling ensued. :sweatdrop:
Hotel replaces all bibles with 50 Shades of Grey (http://www.mediaite.com/online/this-exists-hotel-replacing-bibles-with-fifty-shades-of-grey/)
https://i.imgur.com/mxIcn.jpg
If you ever book a reservation at the Damson Dene Hotel in England, don’t expect to have a copy of the Bible waiting for you. Instead, the hotel’s owner has replaced the religious text with none other than the disturbingly popular book Fifty Shades of Grey. Because really, what could be a better alternative to the Bible than a book featuring bondage and sadomasochism?
Jonathan Denby, the hotel owner, said that he thought it would be “wholly inappropriate” to have the Bible in his hotel “in a modern secular society.” Initially, he considered replacing it with Ayn Rand‘s Atlas Shrugged, but decided to feature the steamy novel instead. Why?
“[B]ecause everybody is reading ‘Fifty Shades of Grey,’ we thought it would be a hospitable thing to do, to have this available for our guests, especially if some of them were a little bit shy about buying it because of its reputation.”
The choice to offer “Fifty Shades of Grey” was done purely for fun and just because the novel is so popular, not for any deep philosophical reason, Denby added, noting that he himself has not read the book.
Obviously, the local vicar is unhappy with the move, denouncing the decision to replace the bible with “an explicit erotic novel.” The hotel owner has noted that people from the United States have had a much stronger response to the decision, and pointed out that if guests would still like a copy of the Bible, one will be provided for them at the front desk,
InsaneApache
07-25-2012, 16:20
That's a picture of the ASDA near where I live. Awesome. I'm nearly famous.
Major Robert Dump
07-25-2012, 16:24
BTW the Goat Man from earlier in the thread turned out to be a hunter
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/huff-wires/20120724/us-odd-goat-man/
Iran's chicken crisis a simmering political issue, politicians and police grilled by squawking constituents (http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/07/22/iran-economy-chicken-idUSL6E8IJFYV20120722)
Earlier this month, Iran's national police chief ventured boldly into what has become known as the country's "chicken crisis". The feathers haven't stopped flying since.
The soaring price for a staple food that Iranians relish cooked with saffron, plums or pomegranates has become such a hot topic of public debate, and a sign of the sinking purchasing power of many Iranians, that Police Chief Esmail Ahmadi Moghaddam felt it his duty to intervene.
He urged television stations to avoid broadcasting images of people eating chicken, saying such pictures could fire up social tensions, with perhaps unforeseen consequences.
"Certain people witnessing this class gap between the rich and the poor might grab a knife and think they will get their share from the wealthy," Mehr news agency quoted him as saying. [...]
Iran's social networks are buzzing. "There are two classes of people: below the chicken line and above the chicken line," quipped one Twitter posting from a Shiraz resident.
Another tweet joked that instead of asking for traditional gold coins, soon-to-be-married Iranian women would request dowries of 200 tonnes of chicken.
Officials, worried about popular resentment, have done their best to assure irate Iranians that chicken will be in plentiful supply and at fair prices.
InsaneApache
07-26-2012, 00:24
"There are two classes of people: below the chicken line and above the chicken line,"
:mean:
Gregoshi
07-26-2012, 02:31
:mean:
Agreed. That Tweet was more like a Dumb Cluck.
That really got his goat (http://www.abc4.com/content/news/top_stories/story/Hiker-spots-man-in-goat-suit-frolicking-with-a/8tKqdZF7s0eioSivDg8O-w.cspx)
Coty Creighton was hiking Ben Lomond peak early Sunday morning, when he came across a herd of goats and noticed one was trailing behind. Coty pulled out his binoculars to get an even closer look, and realized it was a man, acting like a goat.
"His goat costume was definitely home made, it wasn't done very well he had a full mask covering his face up and fake horns coming off the top of his head, he even had to lift the mask at times to make his way and see over rocks and bushes," Creighton said.
Creighton tried to rationalize it, thinking the guy may have been a photographer, but he had no gear.
"Once I realized he had no camera gear or anything else, it went from being really funny to really creepy," he said.
Creighton said the man was literally acting like a goat. At one point, the man took off his mask and spotted Coty watching him.
"So he just kind of froze in his tracks, he was on his hands and knees just kind of staring at me,” Creighton said.
At that point, Coty said the man sat down and began to sulk. Creeped out, Creighton left.
EL CHUPA CABRA!
If you can't trust a wizard, who can you trust? (http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/24033-non-invisible-bank-robber-caught)
In the long list of criminal dos and don'ts, one of the top pieces of advice [...] has to be 'never rob a bank thinking that you're invisible when you're not actually invisible.'
Sadly for one man in Iran, he made just that mistake — and as a result, police in Tehran are hunting a fake sorcerer who convinced the man he was invisible and so could rob banks safely.
The man's ill-fated heist attempt started to go wrong shortly after he entered the bank, as he started snatching money from the hands of customers. For some reason, rather than being terrified of the mysterious invisible poltergeist stealing their cash, the customers quickly overpowered the hapless thief.
'I made a mistake. I understand now what a big trick was played on me,' the man told the court, state-run newspaper Jam-e Jam reports.
He explained that he had paid 5 million rials (just under £290) to a wizard imposter, who in return gave hims spells to tie to his arm. The sorcerer told him that they would make him invisible, and that he could then rob banks to his heart's content.
Shortage of male thongs causes panic in Ireland (http://www.irishexaminer.com/ireland/shortage-of-male-thongs-sparks-panic-in-cork-202228.html)
https://i.imgur.com/6ho7E.jpg
A cheeky bid to break a body-painting world record led to panic buying in Cork yesterday after the city’s clothes stores sold out of men’s thongs.
More than 600 daring participants will strip down this morning at Cork’s Camden Palace Hotel and have their bodies painted in a bid to break a five-year record, set in the US.
Adjudicators from Guinness have issued strict instructions that those taking part remove all clothes except their underwear, before paint is applied to every part of their bodies.
But organisers faced a mini-crisis yesterday after a last-minute surge of applicants led to a rush on the city’s dwindling supply of thongs.
Just after midday yesterday, only Utopia, an adult shop in the city centre, had supplies left. A shop assistant said: "My phone’s been constantly ringing and I only have two or three pairs of thongs left at this stage. I would order more in, but there wouldn’t be time." [...]
If the record attempt isn’t enough to set pulses racing, the annual Cork World Naked Bike Ride takes place later in the afternoon.
johnhughthom
07-30-2012, 21:37
If you can't trust a wizard, who can you trust? (http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/24033-non-invisible-bank-robber-caught)
In the long list of criminal dos and don'ts, one of the top pieces of advice [...] has to be 'never rob a bank thinking that you're invisible when you're not actually invisible.'
Sadly for one man in Iran, he made just that mistake — and as a result, police in Tehran are hunting a fake sorcerer who convinced the man he was invisible and so could rob banks safely.
The man's ill-fated heist attempt started to go wrong shortly after he entered the bank, as he started snatching money from the hands of customers. For some reason, rather than being terrified of the mysterious invisible poltergeist stealing their cash, the customers quickly overpowered the hapless thief.
'I made a mistake. I understand now what a big trick was played on me,' the man told the court, state-run newspaper Jam-e Jam reports.
He explained that he had paid 5 million rials (just under £290) to a wizard imposter, who in return gave hims spells to tie to his arm. The sorcerer told him that they would make him invisible, and that he could then rob banks to his heart's content.
And they say Iran is trying to erase it's non-Islamic history, the Magi are clearly alive and well.
Man puts cracker up his crack. (http://www.ntnews.com.au/article/2012/07/31/312406_ntnews.html)
A MAN who suffered serious burns when friends lit a firecracker in his bum says he was just showing his visiting mates a Territory good time.
Alex Bowden, 23, of Wagaman, Darwin, put a spinning "flying bee" winged firework in his butt crack during a party at a rented house on Rossiter St, Rapid Creek on Saturday night.
"I had a few lads up from Queensland and I had to put on a good show," he told the NT News from his hospital bed.
"I just had a few beers with the boys and let off a few firecrackers. And I put one in my arse."
Mr Bowen said his mother "thought it was funny".
Papewaio
07-31-2012, 09:39
Darwin, NT the city is full of irony. Where in any other city you would get a Darwin award or a second place vasectomy, in Darwin, NT you get mating priviledges.
Mitt Romney, homewrecker and lover of ladies (http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-57483663-503544/facebook-photo-of-romney-causes-violent-domestic-dispute/)
https://i.imgur.com/bHmIR.jpg
A photo of Mitt Romney on Facebook is at the center of a recent domestic abuse case in Tennessee.
Lowell Turpin, 40, accused his live-in girlfriend of having an affair with a man he did not recognize in a photo on her Facebook page. A police report posted on The Smoking Gun indicates it was a picture of the Republican presidential candidate.
It reads: "Mr. Turpin saw a picture of an unknown (to him) male on Ms. Gray's Facebook page, and angrily demanded to know who the male was. Crystal Gray relied that it was a picture of Mitt Romney. Ms. Gray described that Lowell Turpin became upset..."
According to Anderson County Sheriff Department investigators, Turpin, who reportedly weighs 310 lbs., injured his girlfriend's hand, punched Gray in the face and smashed the laptop involved against a wall.
Strike For The South
08-01-2012, 21:06
Oh god. Please be true
Oh god. Please be true
Um, it is true, the boyfriend saw a guy he didn't recognize on the girlfriend's page. She had posted a picture of Romney. He then beat the tar out of her for her imagined infidelity. The story is not that Romney is sowing his wild oats, rather than the boyfriend is an astonishing idiot.
Bolivia expels Coca-Cola because Mayan apocalypse (http://wonkette.com/479794/bolivia-expels-coca-cola-because-of-the-apocalypse)
https://i.imgur.com/9I13U.jpg
Bolivia’s foreign minister, David Choquehuanca — he’s all about the Mayan Apocalypse. In his view it won’t be so much an apocalypse-apocalypse, just an apocalypse of U.S. capitalists meddling in their business. And so he’s announced that in the New Times, Bolivians will no longer be allowed to drink Coca-Cola. They will drink this peach thing or another “fizzy” drink instead.
In what is being called a “symbolic rejection of US capitalism,” Bolivia has announced that it will be marking the end of the Mayan calendar with the expulsion of the Coca-Cola Company from the country.
“December 21 of 2012 will be the end of egoism and division. December 21 should be the end of Coca-Cola,” Bolivian foreign minister David Choquehuanca said earlier this month, according to Russian news agency, RT.
This is a significant move for Bolivia — who will join Myanmar, North Korea and Cuba as the only countries in the world that are coke-free, Yahoo! News notes.
Unlike the doomsayers who have predicted the apocalypse to occur on Dec. 21, Choquehuanca said he is optimistic that the end of the Mayan calendar will usher in a new and more progressive era — one that will see “the end of hatred and the beginning of love.”
“The planets will align for the first time in 26,000 years and this is the end of capitalism and the beginning of communitarianism,” he said, adding that the people of Bolivia should opt to drink Mocochinchi — a local peach-flavored drink — as an alternative to Coke products, Russian newspaper Pravda reports.
Lolololol http://electronicintifada.net/blogs/benjamin-doherty/sodomy-jihad-venerable-lgbt-magazine-advocate-spreads-vile-islamophobic-hoax
Clip here http://www.geenstijl.nl/mt/archieven/2012/08/ingezonden_brief_moslim_wil_an.html#comments
effing hilarious
There's a wonderful story floating around this morning about a Ren Faire robbery in France (http://www.uproxx.com/gammasquad/2012/08/ren-faire-held-up-with-swords-by-guys-in-plate-armor-no-seriously/), but I can't nail down any actual reporting, just blogs linking to each other with no links to sources. Might be a hoax/fabrication. Sigh. Such is life when you curate for NotW.
Meanwhile, for anyone who didn't know, Fragony does not like Muslims.
Missile Defense Staff Warned To Stop Surfing Porn Sites (http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2012-08-01/missile-defense-staff-warned-to-stop-surfing-porn-sites.html)
https://i.imgur.com/JBPWC.jpg
The Pentagon’s Missile Defense Agency warned its employees and contractors last week to stop using their government computers to surf the Internet for pornographic sites, according to the agency’s executive director.
In a one-page memo, Executive Director John James Jr. wrote that in recent months government employees and contractors were detected “engaging in inappropriate use of the MDA network.”
“Specifically, there have been instances of employees and contractors accessing websites, or transmitting messages, containing pornographic or sexually explicit images,” James wrote in the July 27 memo obtained by Bloomberg News.
There's a wonderful story floating around this morning about a Ren Faire robbery in France (http://www.uproxx.com/gammasquad/2012/08/ren-faire-held-up-with-swords-by-guys-in-plate-armor-no-seriously/), but I can't nail down any actual reporting, just blogs linking to each other with no links to sources. Might be a hoax/fabrication. Sigh. Such is life when you curate for NotW.
Meanwhile, for anyone who didn't know, Fragony does not like Muslims.
Wouldn't say that, I just don't absolutely adore them
Vladimir
08-02-2012, 16:24
Bolivia expels Coca-Cola because Mayan apocalypse (http://wonkette.com/479794/bolivia-expels-coca-cola-because-of-the-apocalypse)
https://i.imgur.com/9I13U.jpg
Bolivia’s foreign minister, David Choquehuanca — he’s all about the Mayan Apocalypse. In his view it won’t be so much an apocalypse-apocalypse, just an apocalypse of U.S. capitalists meddling in their business. And so he’s announced that in the New Times, Bolivians will no longer be allowed to drink Coca-Cola. They will drink this peach thing or another “fizzy” drink instead.
In what is being called a “symbolic rejection of US capitalism,” Bolivia has announced that it will be marking the end of the Mayan calendar with the expulsion of the Coca-Cola Company from the country.
“December 21 of 2012 will be the end of egoism and division. December 21 should be the end of Coca-Cola,” Bolivian foreign minister David Choquehuanca said earlier this month, according to Russian news agency, RT.
This is a significant move for Bolivia — who will join Myanmar, North Korea and Cuba as the only countries in the world that are coke-free, Yahoo! News notes.
Unlike the doomsayers who have predicted the apocalypse to occur on Dec. 21, Choquehuanca said he is optimistic that the end of the Mayan calendar will usher in a new and more progressive era — one that will see “the end of hatred and the beginning of love.”
“The planets will align for the first time in 26,000 years and this is the end of capitalism and the beginning of communitarianism,” he said, adding that the people of Bolivia should opt to drink Mocochinchi — a local peach-flavored drink — as an alternative to Coke products, Russian newspaper Pravda reports.
I still don't know who the true idiots are; The politicians or the people who support them:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/apr/14/coca-colla-real-thing-bolivia
That's some serious driftwood (http://www.ouramazingplanet.com/121-enormous-driftwood-washes-ashore-in-washington.html)
https://i.imgur.com/4BZgg.jpg
[A] massive piece of driftwood washed ashore recently in La Push, a small community on the northwest coast of Washington's most westerly peninsula.
"It's not uncommon to find one as tall as I am, but that's pretty big," said Barb Manse of Olympic National Park, which surrounds La Push.
This "piece" of driftwood is actually called a drift log. It wasn't measured, but finding trees in the forest between 5 and 10 feet (1.5 and 3 meters) in diameter and a couple hundred feet tall isn't uncommon, Manse said.
Powerful winds accompanied by high tides are required to bring these monsters ashore.
edyzmedieval
08-03-2012, 15:07
\
Bet they found a cavity. And drilling ensued. :sweatdrop:
Stoooooop, please! :laugh4:
Papewaio
08-06-2012, 07:28
Well if it was hetro porn it would have been a root canal.
German priest promises 'erotic service,' goes limp (http://www.thelocal.de/society/20120806-44185.html)
Ralf Schmidt of the Erlöserkirche ("Church of the Saviour") in Wiesbaden, western Germany, had promised a service celebrating the divine element of physical love, news magazine Der Spiegel reported on Sunday.
"There is no life without eroticism, and no life without God," he said during his sermon, the Frankfurter Rundschau newspaper reported. "Taste each other, look at each other, feel each other, feel how friendly life can be. My backside, my hands, my tongue, my penis, my earlobes are the landing spots of love. In this way we want to enjoy what God has given us, even though we don't have paradise anymore. Because love comes from God, not the devil."
Later, he led his 200-strong congregation in a swaying dance as they held hands to foster a sense of intimacy, while the organ played Elvis Presley's "Love Me Tender."
He opened the service with the words, "Welcome to the vineyard of love," before waxing lyrical on the under-addressed subject of Christian sex. "There is a lustful sense of expectation in the room," he said. [...]
Even its senior members weren't shocked. The 70-year-old Helga Gropp told Der Spiegel that she'd liked the service a lot. Her only objection? That the newly-confirmed youngsters had not been allowed in.
Vladimir
08-06-2012, 14:39
German priest promises 'erotic service,' goes limp (http://www.thelocal.de/society/20120806-44185.html)
Ralf Schmidt of the Erlöserkirche ("Church of the Saviour") in Wiesbaden, western Germany, had promised a service celebrating the divine element of physical love, news magazine Der Spiegel reported on Sunday.
"There is no life without eroticism, and no life without God," he said during his sermon, the Frankfurter Rundschau newspaper reported. "Taste each other, look at each other, feel each other, feel how friendly life can be. My backside, my hands, my tongue, my penis, my earlobes are the landing spots of love. In this way we want to enjoy what God has given us, even though we don't have paradise anymore. Because love comes from God, not the devil."
Later, he led his 200-strong congregation in a swaying dance as they held hands to foster a sense of intimacy, while the organ played Elvis Presley's "Love Me Tender."
He opened the service with the words, "Welcome to the vineyard of love," before waxing lyrical on the under-addressed subject of Christian sex. "There is a lustful sense of expectation in the room," he said. [...]
Even its senior members weren't shocked. The 70-year-old Helga Gropp told Der Spiegel that she'd liked the service a lot. Her only objection? That the newly-confirmed youngsters had not been allowed in.
I accidentally misread the bolded part.
Vladimir
08-08-2012, 17:18
I love Fox News: http://www.foxnews.com/health/2012/08/08/conjoined-twins-to-star-in-new-reality-tv-show/?intcmp=features
Conjoined twins to star in new reality TV show
https://img593.imageshack.us/img593/7379/640henseltwins.jpg (https://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/593/640henseltwins.jpg/)
Uploaded with ImageShack.us (https://imageshack.us)
That...would be fun.
Imagine Jonestown or Waco—but underground! (http://www2.wsav.com/news/2012/aug/08/russia-underground-sect-charged-with-abuse-ar-4301116/)
(from the "Isn't this the premise of several creepy horror movies?" file)
MOSCOW — A self-proclaimed prophet had a vision from God: He would build an Islamic caliphate under the earth.
The digging began and 70 followers soon moved into an 8-story honeycomb of cramped cells with no light, heating or ventilation.
Children were born. They, too, lived in the cold underground cells. Until authorities raided the compound last week and freed the 27 sons and daughters of the sect who rarely saw the light of day.
Aged between 1 and 17, the children had never left the property, attended school or been seen by a doctor, officials said Wednesday. Their parents were charged with child abuse.
The sect's 83-year-old founder, Faizrakhman Satarov, who declared himself a prophet in contradiction with the principles of Islam, has also been charged with negligence, said Irina Petrova, deputy prosecutor in the provincial capital of Kazan. [...]
Satarov, a former top imam in the neighboring province of Bashkortostan, ordered some 70 followers to live in cells they dug under the three-story building topped by a small minaret with a tin crescent moon. Only a few sect members were allowed to leave the premises to work as traders at a local market, Russian media reported.
The children were examined in local hospitals and will temporarily live in an orphanage, pediatrician Tatyana Moroz said. "They looked nourished, but dirty, so we had to wash them," she said in televised remarks.
Their parents voiced concern about the children's medical treatment.
Doctors "can do anything to them," Fana Sayanova, a woman with a veiled face and clad in a long white dress, told local television.
The cramped cells, without ventilation, heating or a regular electricity supply, form eight levels under the decrepit three-story brick house on a 700-square-meter (7,530 sq. foot) plot of land. The house was built illegally and will be demolished, Tatarstan police told local media.
"They will come with bulldozers and guns, but they will have to demolish this house over our dead bodies!" sect member Gumer Ganiyev said on the Vesti television channel. The ailing Satarov appointed Ganiyev as his deputy "prophet," according to local media.
[Lemur's note: What is it with crazy religious Russians and going underground (http://www.reuters.com/article/2008/04/01/us-russia-cult-idUSL3151294120080401)?]
NYC buzzing as hot dog carts distribute free vibrators (http://gawker.com/5932695/trojan-using-sexy-hot-dog-carts-to-distribute-free-vibrators-in-nyc)
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/gty_trojan_vibrator_cart.jpg
Two "Pleasure Carts" emblazoned with punny slogans such as "getcha vibes here" and "relish the moment" will be employed by the makers of Trojan Vibrations to distribute some 10,000 free sex toys on the streets of New York starting tomorrow.
"What we're doing is taking something like a hot dog cart that is so everyday and so mainstream, and we're showing people that vibrators are mainstream," Trojan's VP for marketing Bruce Weiss told the New York Times.
The company expects to hand out 5,000 Tri-Phoria "intimate massagers" and another 5,000 Vibrating Pulse devices during the two day promotional event. All told, the giveaway will set the company back about $350,000.
"It sounds fantastic and I'm just delighted that there is a company that has the resources and the sex-positivity to do it," Claire Cavanah, co-owner of the sex shop Babeland, is quoted as saying.
Vladimir
08-08-2012, 20:45
[Lemur's note: What is it with crazy religious Russians and going underground (http://www.reuters.com/article/2008/04/01/us-russia-cult-idUSL3151294120080401)?]
Some cultural thing. An Idiot Abroad recently featured it.
[Lemur's note: What is it with crazy religious Russians and going underground (http://www.reuters.com/article/2008/04/01/us-russia-cult-idUSL3151294120080401)?]
Russia is also the home of being buried alive. They find it... therapeutic.
Man orders TV from Amazon, receives sweet SIG 716 instead (foolishly turns it over to police) (http://www.myfoxdc.com/story/19221052/dc-man-orders-television-online-receives-rifle-instead)
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/716-Patrol-hero-detail.jpg
WASHINGTON D.C—Police have confirmed to FOX 5 that they are investigating why an Army-style assault rifle was mistakenly mailed to a D.C. man in an online order.
Seth Horvitz says he ordered a flat-screen television from a third party through Amazon.com. He received a package that was left in the hallway outside of his Northeast D.C. apartment Tuesday, but instead of a television, he found a black semi-automatic rifle inside the box.
Unsure about what to do with the rifle, Horvitz says he contacted police about it Tuesday evening. Police confiscated the rifle when they came to his apartment.
"[Police] were a little confused at first, they've never seen anything quite like it," says Horvitz. "They just took my information and then said we'll handle this weapon because it's illegal to keep here. It's illegal to transport in a car, so it can't be returned."
The shipping label on the box had Horvitz's name and address, but the invoice inside the box indicated it should have been shipped to a gun shop in Pennsylvania.
-edit-
[Doesn't this idiot know that a SIG 716 goes for about $1800? Re-sell, brother, re-sell!]
Hooahguy
08-10-2012, 23:02
[Doesn't this idiot know that a SIG 716 goes for about $1800? Re-sell, brother, re-sell!]
From the picture in the article it looks like the guy is one of those idiots who thinks every weapon with a stock is a machine gun.
I don't undersand the guy I would hide it to keep it.Not to shoot at anything but to able to hug it every day. If you accidently get an assault rifle and you actually call the police I don't think you are the type that sees a stack of wood as a cabin with an identity crisis.
Montmorency
08-11-2012, 23:56
From the picture in the article it looks like the guy is one of those idiots who thinks every weapon with a stock is a machine gun.
It's nice to see a proper, law-abiding citizen keeping out of trouble. :yes:
If you accidently get an assault rifle
Point of order: An unbelievably nice rifle. SIG is a top-drawer manufacturer, in car terms it would be a Mercedes or a BMW. That is an extremely valuable and desirable gun.
Seriously, if you don't want a gun in the house for one reason or another, re-sell the blasted thing. Sheesh.
It's nice to see a proper, law-abiding citizen keeping out of trouble. :yes:
If you don't want that thing you are troubled methinks, it's loud and makes holes into things and it comes with a really nice box, what's not to love about it. You must be type that uses strange feminine words such as 'responsibility', que. That thing is every sane boy's dream and a proper male never grows up. If there is a lake there is fish in it, if you have a ball there are windows, any empty building has to be explored. Period.
I got a helpful site for you http://artofmanliness.com/
Gregoshi
08-12-2012, 16:11
If you don't want that thing you are troubled methinks...
If he wanted the "thing", he would have ordered it. He wanted a much more manly (and practical) device - a TV. A crappy TV reflects more poorly on your manliness than a silly bang stick that will most likely just hang on the wall giving you a faux manly status symbol. The TV will impress your buddies. You'll have countless hours of watching sports and swilling beer with them developing the ultimate of manly man things - the pot belly. Can't do that with a gun. Watch some scary movies on your new TV with your man friends as a social gauge of manhood seeing who screams like a little girl, or watch the same movies with the girl you want to score with to get things started with that protective snuggle when she gets frightened. Then there is HD porn. I rest my case. :bow:
If he wanted the "thing", he would have ordered it. He wanted a much more manly (and practical) device - a TV. A crappy TV reflects more poorly on your manliness than a silly bang stick that will most likely just hang on the wall giving you a faux manly status symbol. The TV will impress your buddies. You'll have countless hours of watching sports and swilling beer with them developing the ultimate of manly man things - the pot belly. Can't do that with a gun. Watch some scary movies on your new TV with your man friends as a social gauge of manhood seeing who screams like a little girl, or watch the same movies with the girl you want to score with to get things started with that protective snuggle when she gets frightened. Then there is HD porn. I rest my case. :bow:
HD Porn is yukkie, I really don't want to see everything in such detail it wastes the experience. Now if I got caught with that gun I would be in trouble here, but I grew up in a small village and the best part about stealing corn was that the farmer would shoot you on sight with salt, it hurts. So you steal his corn it comes quite naturally. We also shooted eachother with nailguns, perfection was kicking someone down and driving one in someones butt, to the horror of our local doctor who didn't really share our sense of humour. A tv is an altar of passive entertainment, in great contrast with an assault-rifle. Sitting in front of a television can be relaxing no doubt, but it's not manly.
Gregoshi
08-12-2012, 17:58
Sitting in front of a television can be relaxing no doubt, but it's not manly.
Fragony, you wouldn't know manly if it came up and shot you in the...
We also shooted eachother with nailguns...driving one in someones butt...
Nevermind. :laugh4:
I must be losing my touch. I got a serious rebuttal (butt pun not intended, but actually not too bad!) to what I thought was a tongue-in-cheek post. :shrug: I should have used more emoticons.
You aren't losing it, 'nailing it' is just something we do differently here, culture and all that. You couldn't have known that. You are still on top!
Gregoshi
08-12-2012, 19:01
:laugh4: A toast then, to "nailing it" in all its forms - pain or pleasure, hammered, shot or not, or whatever other types one may got. ~:cheers:
It's a bit of a pain in the ass. It's hilarious though, you are really planting a flag
Beers on me
Family of bears crashes into holyday house and drink 100 beers (http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2012/08/13/bears-steal-100-cans-beer-norwegian-holiday-cabin_n_1771826.html?utm_hp_ref=uk)
The hangover 3 - The Beerpack!
Hooahguy
08-13-2012, 16:52
The hangover 3 - The Beerpack!
Would be a better movie than the Hangover 2.
Would be a better movie than the Hangover 2.
poster:
http://dailypicksandflicks.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Party-Bear-meme-this-hangover-is-unbearable.jpg
Gregoshi
08-13-2012, 19:53
Family of bears crashes into holyday house and drink 100 beers (http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2012/08/13/bears-steal-100-cans-beer-norwegian-holiday-cabin_n_1771826.html?utm_hp_ref=uk)
Grizzlilocks and the Three Beers...one was too warm, one was too cold, but the other 100 were juuuust right!
Edit: You may think I can't count, but the "three beers" means types of beer (warm, cold and just-right)...yeah, that's what I meant.
Family of bears crashes into holyday house and drink 100 beers (http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2012/08/13/bears-steal-100-cans-beer-norwegian-holiday-cabin_n_1771826.html?utm_hp_ref=uk)
The hangover 3 - The Beerpack!
That is why I never invite them, there is only so many
I really don't want to share the planet with these people.
https://i.imgur.com/ZzmXq.jpg
InsaneApache
08-14-2012, 16:30
Well to be fair do we really know that the world existed before we were born?
Vladimir
08-14-2012, 16:44
Two pretty girls and a muppet. Are you surprised?
The final frontier: Anal tattoos (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/14/anal-anus-tattoos-next-big-thing-woman_n_1775413.html)
Anal tattoos are the "next big thing."
Or, at least, that's what some people are saying after meeting this woman at the 17th annual South Florida Tattoo Expo, which was held at the Marriott Hotel, Golf Club & Convention Center in Coral Springs, Fla., last weekend.
It felt "really, really good," the 22-year-old said of the process.
One observer noted that the whole anus-tattooing thing seemed pretty "cool."
"It's kind of a neat thing to do," he told a reporter from the New Times Broward-Palm Beach. [...]
The girl was quick to point out that her anus tat isn't her first.
"The fairy on my back is crawled in a ball with broken wings and she's pulling her ********* hair," she said of one of her older tattoos.
As for her anus, it has since been inscribed with her boyfriend's name, though his might not be the first to adorn her rectal area.
"I had two guys name on it," she said.
Montmorency
08-15-2012, 15:23
"The fairy on my back is crawled in a ball with broken wings and she's pulling her ********* hair," she said of one of her older tattoos.
9 asterisks? What is that? Peri-anal? Butt-hole? Antarctic? Assholish? :daisy:bread? :daisy:?
Just a hunch, but that girl might be a tad promiscuous. I'm sure her father is proud.
No word on radscorpions or deathclaws: Mutant butterflies found near Fukishima (http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/80beats/2012/08/15/mutant-butterflies-near-fukushima-linked-to-nuclear-radiation/)
https://i.imgur.com/rMKpf.jpg
Japanese authorities may have cleared out the human population around the ruined Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant, but the native wildlife is still there. A month after the accident, scientists who study the pale grass blue butterfly collected 144 near the plant, and found that they had begun to show mutations like dented eyes and deformed wings.
Six months later, they caught another batch—and, worryingly, found they had twice as many mutations. This suggested that the butterflies’ germ line—the cells that turn into egg and sperm—had suffered damage, so mutations could be expected to continue to accumulate down through the generations. Exposing butterflies in the lab to radiation at the levels around the Fukushima plant triggered similar malformations, further strengthening the link between the radiation and the mutations.
The levels of radiation absorbed by the butterflies are not enough to harm humans, and this species is notoriously sensitive to environmental contaminants (in fact, that’s why scientists were studying it to begin with). But this study is a reminder that the disaster’s effects will reverberate for a long time in the natural environment and animal inhabitants of Fukushima.
The final frontier: Anal tattoos (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/14/anal-anus-tattoos-next-big-thing-woman_n_1775413.html)
Anal tattoos are the "next big thing."
Or, at least, that's what some people are saying after meeting this woman at the 17th annual South Florida Tattoo Expo, which was held at the Marriott Hotel, Golf Club & Convention Center in Coral Springs, Fla., last weekend.
It felt "really, really good," the 22-year-old said of the process.
One observer noted that the whole anus-tattooing thing seemed pretty "cool."
"It's kind of a neat thing to do," he told a reporter from the New Times Broward-Palm Beach. [...]
The girl was quick to point out that her anus tat isn't her first.
"The fairy on my back is crawled in a ball with broken wings and she's pulling her ********* hair," she said of one of her older tattoos.
As for her anus, it has since been inscribed with her boyfriend's name, though his might not be the first to adorn her rectal area.
"I had two guys name on it," she said.
But what's the boyfriend's name bet it's B*B
I cannot choose between 'Moist Nugget' and 'Hitler Did Nothing Wrong' (http://news.ninemsn.com.au/technology/8516006/pepsi-naming-contest-trolled-by-4chan)
https://i.imgur.com/aZpk1.jpg
Soft drink giant Pepsi has taken down a website where customers could vote on the name of their new flavour after it was swamped with internet pranksters.
The "Dub the Dew" marketing campaign asked users to suggest names for its new green apple flavoured Mountain Dew.
Users of the infamous online forum 4chan quickly took up the challenge, overwhelming the campaign with votes for names such as "Diabeetus", "Moist Nugget" and "Fapple".
The site was taken down and voting was disabled after the name "Hitler did nothing wrong" topped the list, Hypervocal reports.
Cafeteria palm scanners are the mark of the beast (http://www.kplctv.com/story/19275089/letters-regarding-palm-scanning-causes-concern-amongst-moss-bluff-elementary-parents)
A local elementary school is trying to implement a new program in their cafeteria. But the palm vein scanner is being met with much opposition from Moss Bluff Elementary parents. [...]
Sonnier says she's against the palm vein scanner because of her beliefs.
"As a Christian, I've read the Bible, you know go to church and stuff," said Sonnier. "I know where it's going to end up coming to, the mark of the beast. I'm not going to let my kids have that."
Caldarera says a lot of parents agree with her, but he says it's just technology.
"I think a lot of this has to do with religious beliefs," said Caldarera. "I think some people feel it's something with the Bible, mark of the beast. It's technology that is used throughout our lives. Everywhere."
He says the system isn't on campus yet, so students' palms won't be scanned any time soon. But Sonnier says if the program comes to campus, her children aren't participating and won't be around it either.
"I'd probably pull them out of the school, and transfer them to another school," said Sonnier.
Veho Nex
08-15-2012, 21:16
Cafeteria palm scanners are the mark of the beast (http://www.kplctv.com/story/19275089/letters-regarding-palm-scanning-causes-concern-amongst-moss-bluff-elementary-parents)
A local elementary school is trying to implement a new program in their cafeteria. But the palm vein scanner is being met with much opposition from Moss Bluff Elementary parents. [...]
Sonnier says she's against the palm vein scanner because of her beliefs.
"As a Christian, I've read the Bible, you know go to church and stuff," said Sonnier. "I know where it's going to end up coming to, the mark of the beast. I'm not going to let my kids have that."
Caldarera says a lot of parents agree with her, but he says it's just technology.
"I think a lot of this has to do with religious beliefs," said Caldarera. "I think some people feel it's something with the Bible, mark of the beast. It's technology that is used throughout our lives. Everywhere."
He says the system isn't on campus yet, so students' palms won't be scanned any time soon. But Sonnier says if the program comes to campus, her children aren't participating and won't be around it either.
"I'd probably pull them out of the school, and transfer them to another school," said Sonnier.
I just face palmed so hard I think I broke my nose.
Major Robert Dump
08-15-2012, 23:07
On one hand, they are over reacting
On the other, it is a stupiud idea. It's a lunch cafeteria, not the back door to the CIA. If they cannot hire talent who is smart enough to check meal cards and micro manage other tasks, they should maybe get some new talent.
Oldie but goodie: Court OKs barring cops with high IQs (http://abcnews.go.com/story?id=95836#.UC0Jfd1lTHS)
https://i.imgur.com/USA5q.png
A man whose bid to become a police officer was rejected after he scored too high on an intelligence test has lost an appeal in his federal lawsuit against the city.
The 2nd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in New York upheld a lower court’s decision that the city did not discriminate against Robert Jordan because the same standards were applied to everyone who took the test. [...]
Jordan, a 49-year-old college graduate, took the exam in 1996 and scored 33 points, the equivalent of an IQ of 125. But New London police interviewed only candidates who scored 20 to 27, on the theory that those who scored too high could get bored with police work and leave soon after undergoing costly training.
That's not so weird, it happens a lot that people are overqualified
If he's smart why not accept him and see if he makes it to detective! Or if he does a good job transfer him to something more demanding!
Pipe down, Psycho! You're off the case, hand in your badge.
I can no longer sell my magic potions on EBay (http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2012/08/16/158944907/ebay-says-users-will-no-longer-be-able-to-sell-magic-potions-curses)
https://i.imgur.com/stZGh.jpg
Ebay said today that beginning in September it will no longer allow the sale of some, um, metaphysical products.
Among them: advice, spells, curses, hexing, conjuring, magic, prayers, blessing services, magic potions and healing sessions. [...]
EBay said in an email that it regularly reviews categories and updates policies based on customer feedback and was 'discontinuing a small number of categories within the larger Metaphysical subcategory.'
Spokeswoman Johnna Hoff said that buyers and sellers have complained to EBay that such transactions 'often result in issues that can be difficult to resolve.'
'It's important to note that items that have a tangible value for the item itself and may also be used in metaphysical rites and practices (ie jewelry, crystals, incense, candles, and books) are allowed in most cases,' Hoff wrote.
Gregoshi
08-17-2012, 18:14
I can no longer sell my magic potions on EBay (http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2012/08/16/158944907/ebay-says-users-will-no-longer-be-able-to-sell-magic-potions-curses)
There goes my line of magic spells (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZ04mfAY2BU&feature=related). ~:mecry:
Finally, a full-length interview with anal tattoo girl (http://blogs.browardpalmbeach.com/countygrind/2012/08/butt_hole_tattoo_girl_interview_ass.php)
When I was 19, I was dating a pill-head. He couldn't keep his **** up so I started watching porn, and the only thing that entertained me was [anal] sex. So, I bought a toy and started playing with myself.
When I broke up with the pill-head I asked my neighbor Vince to help me with moving his stuff out. We were real comfortable together and I told him I was curious about my little [rear] so he got me into it and stuff, and I was like y'know, let's brand it, but I want it in your handwriting. So he got a black marker, and signed my *** in big bold letters and then put 999, so when you flip me over it says 666.
When I got it tattooed, he held my cheeks open while I was choking myself from the pain. Then we ended up breaking up [...]
I'm already all healed up and ready to go. It heals fast because the cheeks are squeezed together. No oxygen gets through. I had ten shots of Jager in me, and they're calling me a crackhead, or a meth-head. I took a drug test that morning for probation. [...]
I have talents. I wanna write a book. I've been through hell and back, and my story is gonna blow the whole world away. Now, I just wait till the money starts piling up and I can just pull it out of my ***.
I'm real, that's all it is.
Major Robert Dump
08-17-2012, 19:34
I thought I might be in love. Then I saw her photo
Vladimir
08-17-2012, 20:34
The good thing is that you don't have to look at her face.
Don't mind the Dutch just watch the clip
http://www.geenstijl.nl/mt/archieven/2012/08/pussy_riot_schuldig_religieus.html#comments
Vladimir
08-18-2012, 00:26
Those crazy rooskies.
Finally, a full-length interview with anal tattoo girl (http://blogs.browardpalmbeach.com/countygrind/2012/08/butt_hole_tattoo_girl_interview_ass.php)
I'm sure Daddy is proud.
Major Robert Dump
08-18-2012, 03:35
Thanks for the link Frag. I actually like that punk band. Girl punks do it for me.
On the same site I found this very informative 30 minute documentary on topless protestors in the Ukraine.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=PKDJxOm2RfY#!
Oh yes the fema girls, quite fond of them some are gorgious
Shaka_Khan
08-20-2012, 14:03
Tbh, I thought they were a bunch of deranged (although attractive) women. It turns out that they have significant causes.
They have quite a good cause, as a sucker for women's rights I fully support them
Black market music ring eyed in tuba thefts (http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-201_162-57393517/black-market-music-ring-eyed-in-tuba-thefts/)
https://i.imgur.com/LGAIM.jpg
[H]igh school marching bands of Southern California are going tuba-less these days, and their music directors think they know why.
There's a banda bandit on the loose, they say. Someone, they believe, who is breaking into high schools from the East Side of Los Angeles to the shores of Manhattan Beach and stealing expensive tubas to supply a fast-growing banda music black market.
Once little known north of Mexico, banda has become the fastest growing genre of Latino music in the United States over the past 20 years, and it is particularly popular in Los Angeles, where musicians gather in places the city's Mariachi Plaza to offer their services to parties, weddings, quinceaneras and other events.
"Musically, it's appealing because it's so dynamic and colorful and bright," Josh Kun, a University of Southern California expert on cross-border popular culture, says of the fast-paced, joyous dance music that sprung from the polka tunes that German and French immigrants carried to the Mexican state of Sinaloa in the 19th century.
"Beyond a purely musical context," he said, "it is attractive because it is also the musical context for Mexican immigrant life. ... It's about living between two worlds and sustaining your identity in that balance."
It is also all about the tuba, which is the most important instrument in the band.
Without a guy standing front and center blowing out those fast-paced "oompah, oompah, oompah" notes that only a tuba can make, a banda band is nothing.
"The band is driven by the tuba and the drummer," says Bill Roper, a professional tuba player. "The tuba serves the time function and the bass function and the rest of the band can't exist without that."
Plus, the tuba is so big and pulsating that no one in the audience can ignore it, making it a very sexy instrument in its own right, says Roper. Indeed, people have been known to stuff money by the handful into the horn of a particularly talented tuba player.
So forget the trumpet player, the trombonist or the clarinetist, the tubist is to banda what the lead guitarist is to rock `n' roll.
This is why some of the music teachers at the schools that have been hit say they believe banda bandits are responsible.
"I don't think anyone would go through all the trouble to break locks, break in and explicitly take tubas just to break them down," said Ruben Gonzalez, the music teacher at South Gate High School, which has lost five tubas. "They're worth a lot more money on the black market than they are if you melt them down. It's just a question of where are they selling them, here or out of state or in Mexico."
Major Robert Dump
08-20-2012, 23:07
They are protesting prostitution? I am no longer a fan.
Swinging party goes bad in (where else?) Florida (http://www2.hernandotoday.com/news/hernando-news/2012/aug/20/2/naked-couple-charged-with-domestic-battery-ar-469133/)
https://i.imgur.com/WSeWs.jpg
They got naked, fought naked and stayed naked after law enforcement arrived, deputies said.
The female suspect was mad her boyfriend was having sex with another woman while the male suspect lost his temper about his girlfriend being in bed with two men [...]
The three other people participating in the apparent swinger's party had left the house by the time authorities arrived, according to reports. [...]
Deputy Cari Smith, who interviewed both, said Norris was "very intoxicated and uncooperative." Smith stated in her arrest affidavit Norris refused to put on her clothes after being told to do so. Barfield also was naked when she got to the house [...]
The same witness also told deputies the couple had a "weird relationship," according to the sheriff's office.
Smith and Devorak never got the identities of the other people in the house having sex with either Norris or Barfield, so they couldn't get statements from them, Smith wrote.
The female suspect was mad her boyfriend was having sex with another woman while the male suspect lost his temper about his girlfriend being in bed with two men.
That's when you realize that swinging is not for you...
Ants have invented the internet (http://engineering.stanford.edu/news/stanford-biologist-computer-scientist-discover-anternet)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Du0d8QxlSYk
On the surface, ants and the Internet don't seem to have much in common. But two Stanford researchers have discovered that a species of harvester ants determine how many foragers to send out of the nest in much the same way that Internet protocols discover how much bandwidth is available for the transfer of data. The researchers are calling it the "anternet." [...]
"The next day it occurred to me, 'Oh wait, this is almost the same as how [Internet] protocols discover how much bandwidth is available for transferring a file!'" Prabhakar said. "The algorithm the ants were using to discover how much food there is available is essentially the same as that used in the Transmission Control Protocol."
Transmission Control Protocol, or TCP, is an algorithm that manages data congestion on the Internet, and as such was integral in allowing the early web to scale up from a few dozen nodes to the billions in use today. Here's how it works: As a source, A, transfers a file to a destination, B, the file is broken into numbered packets. When B receives each packet, it sends an acknowledgment, or an ack, to A, that the packet arrived.
This feedback loop allows TCP to run congestion avoidance: If acks return at a slower rate than the data was sent out, that indicates that there is little bandwidth available, and the source throttles data transmission down accordingly. If acks return quickly, the source boosts its transmission speed. The process determines how much bandwidth is available and throttles data transmission accordingly.
It turns out that harvester ants (Pogonomyrmex barbatus) behave nearly the same way when searching for food. Gordon has found that the rate at which harvester ants – which forage for seeds as individuals – leave the nest to search for food corresponds to food availability.
A forager won't return to the nest until it finds food. If seeds are plentiful, foragers return faster, and more ants leave the nest to forage. If, however, ants begin returning empty handed, the search is slowed, and perhaps called off.
Prabhakar wrote an ant algorithm to predict foraging behavior depending on the amount of food – i.e., bandwidth – available. Gordon's experiments manipulate the rate of forager return. Working with Stanford student Katie Dektar, they found that the TCP-influenced algorithm almost exactly matched the ant behavior found in Gordon's experiments.
"Ants have discovered an algorithm that we know well, and they've been doing it for millions of years," Prabhakar said.
Amish terrorists charged in beard-cutting attacks (http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-501363_162-57482784/16-amish-in-ohio-reject-beard-cutting-plea-deals/)
https://i.imgur.com/snWYO.jpg
Sixteen people charged in beard- and hair-cutting attacks on fellow Amish in Ohio rejected government plea bargain offers of leniency Monday and will go to trial.
The defendants include members of an eastern Ohio breakaway Amish group. Prosecutors said the attacks were hate crimes.
The defendants said they were internal church disciplinary matters not involving anti-Amish bias. [...]
Prosecutors say a feud over church discipline led to attacks in which the beards and hair of men and hair of women were cut, an act considered deeply offensive in Amish culture. The Amish believe the Bible instructs women to let their hair grow long and men to grow beards and stop shaving once they marry.
Several members of the group living in Bergholz in eastern Ohio carried out the attacks last September, October and November by forcibly cutting the beards and hair of Amish men and women and then taking photos to shame them, authorities said.
Major Robert Dump
08-27-2012, 04:11
Hows that for profiling
Gregoshi
08-27-2012, 04:42
Amish terrorists charged in beard-cutting attacks (http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-501363_162-57482784/16-amish-in-ohio-reject-beard-cutting-plea-deals/)
That's hairesy!!
On the surface, ants and the Internet don't seem to have much in common. But two Stanford researchers have discovered that a species of harvester ants determine how many foragers to send out of the nest in much the same way that Internet protocols discover how much bandwidth is available for the transfer of data. The researchers are calling it the "anternet."
In science, we recognise that the borderland between related subjects is usually the most fruitful field for new discoveries, and also that it is not unknown for entirely new subjects to start from and be based upon more or less minor advances in subjects apparently unrelated to them.
- Frederick Soddy
Papewaio
08-30-2012, 09:29
Optimized road networks can be found by growing mold. So the anternet isn't that surprising.
It would be a good idea for more of natures tricks to be utilized in networking. Afterall the Internet is an almost biologically complex set of equipment.
270 South African Miners Charged with Murder for 34 Colleagues Killed by Police (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-19424484)
Workers arrested at South Africa's Marikana mine will be charged later with the murder of 34 colleagues shot by police, an official has said.
National Prosecuting Authority (NPA) spokesman Frank Lesenyego said they would all face murder charges - including those who were unarmed or were at the back of the crowd.
"This is under common law, where people are charged with common purpose in a situation where there are suspects with guns or any weapons and they confront or attack the police and a shooting takes place and there are fatalities," he said.
Mr Lesenyego said the updated indictments had already been given to the defence and these would be formally delivered to the accused in court, starting on Thursday.
The conflict at the mine was triggered by a dispute over pay and union recognition, which has paralysed operations for three weeks.
During a visit to the mine after the killings, President Jacob Zuma told workers he "felt their pain" and promised a speedy and thorough investigation of the killings.
Texas mayor slain by enraged donkey (http://www.woai.com/news/local/story/Mayor-dead-after-apparent-donkey-attack/PokgS6_vGkexec7z2Dp_BQ.cspx)
https://i.imgur.com/AcHnz.jpg
A South Texas mayor has been found dead after apparently being attacked by a 500-pound donkey on his ranch. [...] Chief Deputy David Soward says Bohlke apparently was attacked Monday morning by a male, aggressive donkey he kept on the ranch.
Investigators say the donkey and several others are still on the property with other livestock.
"He loved his animals. He loved ranching," said Sandra Wilson. [...]
Soward says it’s up to the family to decide what to do with the donkey.
Owner of 'Hitler' fashion store claims ignorance on Holocaust
https://i.imgur.com/fU0ZK.jpg
Rajesh Shah, the owner of the shop called Hitler, with a swastika dotting the I, claims he didn't know about the famous fascist leader until recently.
"I didn't know how much the name would disturb people," he told AFP. "It was only when the store opened I learnt Hitler had killed six million people."
Shah said Hitler is the nickname of a co-owner's grandfather, according to the Times of India. It was given to him because he was a strict man.
The tiny Jewish community in Ahmedabad is not convinced.
"He feigned ignorance about Hitler ... But after we left, we began to believe that he may have been aware about all this and was just pretending to be ignorant," Menasseh Solomon, secretary of the local synagogue, told the Indian Express.
Solomon was part of a small group that visited the shop on Sunday and asked Shah to change the name, "but he refused."
Shah said he was caught off-guard by the reaction because no one complained about the "Hitler opening shortly" banner he'd had up for over a month, TOI reports.
Kadagar_AV
08-30-2012, 23:48
Damn, I was just about to write about the Hitler thingy...
I don't know what to believe, WWII history really isnt big on the agenda in China, and what is a swastika to us is a very normal symbol for them. In fact, Hitler stole the swastika from them originally, so you cant really blame indians for using it...
This might, MIGHT, just be one of those wonderful mishaps of the world :)
Kadagar_AV
08-31-2012, 00:00
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4510157/Boyfriend-almost-dies-after-mailing-himself-to-girlfriend-in-sealed-box.html
A BOYFRIEND almost died when a bizarre birthday surprise for his girlfriend went disastrously wrong.
Hu Seng, from southern China, nearly suffocated to death after mailing himself to his girlfriend’s office in a sealed box – which got lost in the post for three hours.
When the box finally arrived, shocked girlfriend Li Wang unwrapped her enormous present to find Seng passed out – and bystanders had to call paramedics to revive him.
One of the onlookers, a friend of Seng, had been waiting to photograph the surprise and caught the botched birthday stunt on camera.
“I didn’t realise it would take so long,” said Seng. “I tried to make a hole in the cardboard but it was too thick and I didn’t want to spoil the surprise by shouting.”
About the bold part... I don't know what to say... Kudos for sticking with the plan no matter the obstacles, but surely the girlfriend didn't expect a PM on her birthday...
Gregoshi
08-31-2012, 04:34
Texas mayor slain by enraged donkey (http://www.woai.com/news/local/story/Mayor-dead-after-apparent-donkey-attack/PokgS6_vGkexec7z2Dp_BQ.cspx)
I'm guessing Bohlke was a Republican.
Vladimir
08-31-2012, 17:32
Texas mayor slain by enraged donkey (http://www.woai.com/news/local/story/Mayor-dead-after-apparent-donkey-attack/PokgS6_vGkexec7z2Dp_BQ.cspx)
https://i.imgur.com/AcHnz.jpg
What a jackass.
Anal tattoo follow-up #2: What You Should Know Before You Get An Anal Tattoo (http://www.thefrisky.com/2012-08-24/ask-a-tattoo-artist-what-you-should-know-before-you-get-an-anal-tattoo/)
https://i.imgur.com/hrmdA.jpg
TF: Do you think the artist at the convention who tattooed Maria’s [anus] was trying to gain notoriety?
MK: No. I believe he was altering a tattoo that was already there. If that’s the case, it’s a different story because the person already has a tattoo there and you are fixing it.
TF: She was drunk also while getting her anal tattoo. I’ve had a few tattoos, and I was under the impression that you couldn’t drink at all before getting one.
MK: Yeah. It’s certainly frowned upon to tattoo while drunk because you bleed more if you’ve been drinking.
TF: While it’s healing, can you poop?
MK: I don’t know the exact logistics of how that would work. I do know that it’s a precarious place to get tattooed. You probably would bleed a lot more in the [anus] because of all the nerve endings and capillaries. It would be very painful. It’s soft tissue.
TF: What about anal sex? Would one have to refrain?
MK: I have no idea what the exact healing time would be. Different parts of your body heal faster than others when you get tattooed. Like the inside of your lip heals faster than inside of your arm. Whenever I’ve tattooed anyone in the crotch region, I recommend that they refrain from having sex for two weeks. My general rule of thumb is: If you’re doing anything that hurts, stop.
TF: When I got my tattoos, I was instructed to put a thin layer of either A&D ointment or Aquaphor on them. Would there be a different healing protocol for an anal tattoo?
MK: You would probably use Preparation H because it’s safe for that area. The general rule of thumb is to use a sparing amount. But it would be a slippery slope, pardon the phrase, for an anal tattoo. Because of how sensitive your butt hole is, you might need more Preparation H, but if you put more on, more bacteria might get trapped in the area. The best way to heal would probably be to cross your fingers and hope it works.
TF: What kinds of things do people typically get tattooed in their [anus]?
MK: I’ve never seen any of this first hand, only pictures and stuff on the internet. But I’ve seen starfish before. There’s picture of a dragon tattooed on someone’s [anus] that’s been floating around for a while. You’re going to be limited as to what you get there. You’re not going to get a portrait or something. I assume only small simple designs and lettering around the [anus] would work.
TF: If there was hair down there, would you have to shave the [anus] before you tattoo it?
MK: Yes. You’d have to.
TF: Do you think there would be, I know this gross, but any kind of anal leakage while performing an anal tattoo?
MK: Again, I don’t know first hand. But I assume that you would have issues because you’re putting pressure down there. And there are needles involved. It’s not something me or anyone I know would want to get involved in. Please, anyone reading this, do not contact me for an anal tattoo!
TF: Anything else you should know before attempting to get an anal tattoo?
MK: Make sure you shower first. And … don’t do it.
Election season special: Man obsessed with Fox News tries to kill girlfriend when he finds out she is a dirty, evil liberal (http://www.palmbeachpost.com/news/news/crime-law/lake-park-man-obsessed-with-fox-news-and-the-repub/nRPgF/) (in Florida, por su puesto)
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/patriotism.png
A Lake Park man “obsessed with Fox News and the Republican party” is in jail today after he allegedly said that he felt he was going to have to kill his girlfriend because she was a “liberal.” [...] Kappheim’s 59-year-old girlfriend, whose name was withheld in the report, told the deputy a number of incidents happened with him before Tuesday.
On Saturday, Kappheim showed up at her friend’s house uninvited and “stark naked,” she said, according to the arrest report.
She said he tried strangling her the next day.
The couple lived together but she asked him to move out. On Tuesday, Kappheim asked to borrow her car so he could move his belongings out. The woman said she agreed but asked him to drive her to work first.
Throughout the ride, the woman said Kappheim drove “recklessly.” When she asked him not to kill her, he allegedly responded by laughing out loud. On Wednesday, she called the sheriff’s office for help.
When Kappheim was approached by the arresting deputy, he said “he was very conservative and (his girlfriend) was a liberal.” He also told the deputy that “he felt that he was going to have to kill her,” the report said.
Kappheim also admitted to trying to kill his girlfriend three times, the deputy said. [...] While inside of the woman’s apartment, the deputy said he found documents that made him believe Kappheim is obsessed with Fox News and the Republican Party, and that he may be a danger to others.
I love Canada.
Police probing Quebec maple syrup heist worth up to $30-million (http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/police-probing-quebec-maple-syrup-heist-worth-up-to-30-million/article4510740/)
Quebec police are on the hunt for a sticky-fingered thief after millions of dollars of maple syrup vanished from a Quebec warehouse.
The theft was discovered during a routine inventory check last week at the St-Louis-de-Blandford warehouse, where the syrup is being held temporarily. The Federation of Quebec Maple Syrup Producers, which is responsible for the global strategic maple syrup reserve, initially kept the news quiet, hoping it would help police solve the crime quickly.
About 10 million pounds of syrup was stored at the site, at a value of more than $30-million.
Anne-Marie Granger Godbout, executive director of the federation, said the organization is still trying to determine how much is missing and declined to offer an estimate. But a spokesman from the Sureté du Québec said the loss was significant.
“We know that it’s millions of dollars that was stolen,” said Sergeant Richard Gagné. “It’s a very large amount.”
And yes, apparently there is a Global Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve (http://www.theglobeandmail.com/report-on-business/quebec-maple-syrups-strategic-reserve/article1972076/).
Toddler's karaoke tantrum ends in bloodbath (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/china/9508353/Chinese-toddlers-karaoke-tantrum-ends-in-bloodbath.html)
A Chinese toddler's refusal to give up the microphone during a family karaoke evening started a quarrel that left two men hacked to death with a meat cleaver.
The evening began jovially enough when Mr Yun, the owner of a noodle shop in the central Chinese city of Xi'an, invited his family to celebrate Qixi, China's Valentine's Day, with a singing session at a local karaoke parlour.
But by 11pm, there was discord in the room. Mr Yun's four-year-old son was hogging the microphone and his parents were indulging him.
Two of the boy's uncles began chastising Mr Yun and his wife for having raised a spoilt child; a "Little Emperor", as the Chinese say.
According to the Xi'an police, the argument became heated to the point where the two uncles began pushing, and then punching, Mr Yun.
Finally, Mr Yun's nephew, who also worked in the noodle shop, ran back to the restaurant and fetched a meat cleaver.
The man, named as Mr Hui, hacked the two uncles to death, inflicting at least ten wounds on each uncle. He has since been arrested. [...] Other karaoke massacres have taken place in the Philippines, where the Frank Sinatra song "My Way" has had to be removed from many songbooks after sub-standard renditions provoked a string of killings.
Major Robert Dump
09-01-2012, 13:57
Wow, My Way in the PI caused killings? It was on the kareoke machine I rented for the floor of my hotel, and I noticed that song was not on there. Neither was purple rain. this reminds me, I have a thread to start
Veho Nex
09-03-2012, 05:27
Wow, My Way in the PI caused killings? It was on the kareoke machine I rented for the floor of my hotel, and I noticed that song was not on there. Neither was purple rain. this reminds me, I have a thread to start
Best thread i've read in a while.
Police probing Quebec maple syrup heist worth up to $30-million (http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/police-probing-quebec-maple-syrup-heist-worth-up-to-30-million/article4510740/)
This raises the obvious question: Why does Canada have a strategic maple syrup reserve (http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2012/09/why-does-canada-have-a-strategic-maple-syrup-reserve/261869/)?
https://i.imgur.com/yq6RM.png
Kadagar_AV
09-03-2012, 18:03
Police now think it was an insider job...
Oh really Sherlock? Because the average street thug wouldn't know what to do with over 4 million liters of Maple Syrup?
Drunk Man Arrested with a Zebra and a Parrot in Car (http://newsfeed.time.com/2012/05/23/drunk-man-arrested-with-a-zebra-and-a-parrot-in-car/)
https://i.imgur.com/tsHHb.jpg
It sounds like the start to a very bad joke: A drunk, a zebra and a parrot get into a car. What happened next, though, was no laughing matter, at least not for Jerald Reiter, who was arrested for driving while intoxicated. [...]
The Cascade, Iowa man was stopped by police on May 20 following reports that animals were trapped in a vehicle parked at a local business. By the time Officer Chad Leitzen of the Dubuque police arrived on the scene, the owner of the car was there and clearly intoxicated. (Probably not surprising, as he was coming out of a bar.) The real surprise was that the man had a zebra in the cabin of his pickup truck and a parrot on his shoulder. The police report stated, “I did observe two white male subjects in the front of the vehicle. I also observed a zebra in the back seat of the vehicle and a parrot on the driver’s shoulder.” Pretty sure the police academy doesn’t train you for that one. The officer conducted a breathalyzer test on Reiter, who flunked spectacularly with a blood alcohol content of .148, well over the .08 state limit. Reiter allegedly argued that he was in the process of switching seats with his (human) friend once he realized he was too drunk to drive.
Reiter’s girlfriend, Vickey Teters, told reporters that the zebra and parrot are their pets. “They love going for rides,” she told CNN affiliate KCRG. “We treat them like our kids. They come in the house, we take them outside and take them for walks. We take them for car rides.” Unfortunately for Reiter, who was held overnight, neither zebras nor parrots make very good designated drivers.
Court to decide if lap dancing is a tax-exempt art form (http://content.usatoday.com/communities/ondeadline/post/2012/09/court-to-decide-if-lap-dancing-is-a-tax-exempt-art-form-/1#.UEoQM41lTHR)
Is nude lap dancing an art form or just an untrained club employee taking off her clothes for money?
The answer is critical as New York's highest court hears arguments today on whether Nite Moves, a strip club in suburban Albany, deserves a state tax exemption similar to that for theater or ballet.
State tax officials say the club owes an 8% sales tax for admissions to the club and for so-called "couch sales," where patrons pay for private lap dances, the Associated Press reports.
Nite Moves claims the dances are exempt under state tax law as "live dramatic or musical arts performances," which applies to theater and ballet, the AP reports.
New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman's office argues in its briefs, no pun intended, that pole-dancing tricks may be hard to do, but that some Nite Moves performers have no dance training and simple pick it up by watching, The Wall Street Journal reports.
Such a dancer isn't "engaged in a genuine choreographic dance performance when she removes her clothing," the brief says. "In fact," it adds, "some patrons paid the admission fee simply to come in and enjoy a conversation with the dancers."
But Stephen Dick, the club's CFO, scoffs at the notion that formal training should be any critera when its comes to entertainment, the Journal notes.
"Under their code," he argues, "Eric Clapton, who didn't go to school to learn guitar, his performances would be taxable."
Pole Dancing Classes For Kids Offered In Canada Because Parents Demanded Them (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/10/pole-dancing-classes-for-kids_n_1870735.html)
https://i.imgur.com/f4eiw.jpg
Ballet and tap are so old-school. A dance studio in Vancouver is offering a new type of movement program for kids -- pole dancing class.
Kristy Craig, the owner of The Twisted Grip Dance and Fitness Studio says the class, which is offered to kids as young as 5, originated in response to demand from parents. “My existing students were asking about it for their children. They were saying, ‘My daughter plays on my pole at home all the time, I’d love her to actually learn how to do things property and not hurt herself,’” Craig told The National Post.
And so, "Little Spinners" was born. As of September 6, UPI reports that four kids (three girls, one boy) had signed up for the weekly class that costs a mere $70 per one hour session.
The cost of pole dancing class, however is not what most critics are up in arms about. Many parents ask whether kids should be participating in this type of workout at all. Last year, when a studio in England offered a similar program, Babble blogger Meredith Carroll wrote, "How anyone could offer pole dancing to girls almost that young is beyond me. Talk about the increased sexualization of kids."
According to the Daily Mail, child protection groups called photos of last year's class ‘deeply disturbing’.
But Craig defends her program claiming that there is nothing sexual about it. “Do you see anything provocative going on here? Because there isn’t. This is strictly about fitness,” she told the National Post. In fact, she think it's just like the types of physical activity children are already drawn to.
"I mean kids love climbing trees. They will climb anything," Craig told UPI.
Major Robert Dump
09-10-2012, 23:40
There are few places where I draw a line. This is just whack
Gregoshi
09-11-2012, 01:17
There are few places where I draw a line. This is just whack
It is brilliant. How better to get a toddler to strip down for a diaper change? Or a young kid to prepare for a bath? :laugh4:
In twenty years pole dancing will be an Olympic gymnastics event.
Vladimir
09-11-2012, 13:27
It is brilliant. How better to get a toddler to strip down for a diaper change? Or a young kid to prepare for a bath? :laugh4:
In twenty years pole dancing will be an Olympic gymnastics event.
I don't think it's appropriate to use a wet T-shirt competition to give your toddler a bath. I'd wait until at least 12 or 13.
Crazed Rabbit
09-13-2012, 03:10
Florida: (http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/strange/floriduh-blog/sfl-moving-car-20120911,0,3708075.story)
Earlier this month dude and his two buddies went to the Paddy Wagon Irish Pub in Port Charlotte and closed down the joint. But before they left they invited two girls they had met there to one of the friend’s home, according to a news release from the Charlotte County Sheriff's Office.
One of the women reportedly went with the man into a bedroom to get some nookie.
But not before there was some serious negotiations: The girl said she needed $250 but settled for $120. After he forked over the cash to the woman he went to the bathroom. When he returned, the two women were gone, according to the release.
So the man called the woman's cell phone numbers, which he had gotten earlier at the bar, and they agreed to a rendezvous, the release stated.
At a place called the Pick N Run store.
But when the man arrived at the spot, another woman, Amanda Jean Linscott, 26, walked up to his Nissan Sentra and told him that his 'original date' had ditched her, according to deputies.
Linscott then got into his car and, as they drove off, the man reported Linscott began touching him and having sex while he was driving. Linscott told detectives she also needed money but the man had already shot his wad of cash when he gave her friend $120 earlier, according to the report.
The man, recounting the night's events for deputies, reported that Linscott put a .357 Taurus revolver to his head and demanded cash. The man, who claimed he was in fear of his life, in turn said he punched Linscott in the head so she'd release the gun. After he had grabbed the gun from her, the duo starting fighting in the moving car, the release stated.
That's when the man allegedly lost control of his car, struck a palm tree, went airborne and then ran across two front yards.
Linscott reportedly fled the scene after the crash.
But the man somhow managed to drive his wrecked Nissan Sentra to his two friends home, where he spun his tale of woe to his buds.
He gave them the handgun and then called deputies.
But the night wasn't over yet for this dude.
As deouties responded to the area, an elderly man who was in a nearby driveway, reportedly told deputies his daughter, Amanda Linscott, was in a car crash and had been punched in the face.
After detectives conducted their investigation, they busted her and transported her to the Charlotte County Jail in a paddy wagon.
CR
Major Robert Dump
09-13-2012, 03:26
If I had a dollar for everytime I punched a cash-and-dash hooker.....
Vladimir
09-13-2012, 14:47
So a Nun, a Gardner, and a Painter walk into a nuclear weapons facility...hilarity ensues.
http://www.defensenews.com/article/20120912/DEFREG02/309120005/Lawmakers-Rap-Steps-Taken-Improve-Nuke-Site-Security?odyssey=tab|topnews|text|FRONTPAGE
A Nun penetration joke:
“I cannot understand how an 82-year-old nun managed to penetrate the facility,” an incredulous-sounding Terry told a panel of Energy Department officials seated a few feet away.
And political:
“When an 82-year-old nun [breaches] the inner sanctum of a nuclear weapons complex, you cannot say, ‘Job well done’,” said Rep. Joe Barton, R-Texas. That nun “carried a holy Bible. … If she had been a terrorist, who knows what would have happened,” he chided the officials.
Well, in fairness, to most Democrats a Bible is worse than an IED.
Kadagar_AV
09-13-2012, 15:37
Sorry, not very fun... Disturbing rather than weird...
Sometimes I question my stance on the death sentence... I really don't want to share society with this guy.
http://washingtonexaminer.com/no-good-samaritan-swedes-shocked-by-subway-thief/article/feed/2029959?custom_click=rss
Gregoshi
09-13-2012, 15:44
So a Nun, a Gardner, and a Painter walk into a nuclear weapons facility...hilarity ensues.
Easily explained.
With the nun, security didn't have a prayer in stopping her.
With the gardener, who knows plants better?
And the painter probably just brushed past security. If he'd had some primer, he could have blown up the whole place.
Vladimir
09-13-2012, 15:47
Easily explained.
With the nun, security didn't have a prayer in stopping her.
With the gardener, who knows plants better?
And the painter probably just brushed past security. If he'd had some primer, he could have blown up the whole place.
Brilliant. :bow:
Major Robert Dump
09-13-2012, 19:38
Sorry, not very fun... Disturbing rather than weird...
Sometimes I question my stance on the death sentence... I really don't want to share society with this guy.
http://washingtonexaminer.com/no-good-samaritan-swedes-shocked-by-subway-thief/article/feed/2029959?custom_click=rss
I love how swedish news agencies leave race out of their descriptions. It's freaking hilarious. Would kind of help me were I a potential witness, as people tend to look pretty different than one another sometimes
Vladimir
09-13-2012, 19:41
I love how swedish news agencies leave race out of their descriptions. It's freaking hilarious. Would kind of help me were I a potential witness, as people tend to look pretty different than one another sometimes
Are you saying he was a darkie? I can't tell.
Major Robert Dump
09-13-2012, 19:55
I am not saying anything, and I cannot tell from the photos. It is, however, highly relevant information. Theres a pretty big difference between a short black guy, a tall blonde guy and a fat brown guy, and were I in the terminal right before him, I would kind of like to know, as it may help me s a potential witness. Validity of potential info affects the likelihood of a possible witness of stepping forward to begin with.
What's with all of the cannibalism lately? (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/13/richard-cimino-naked-bloody-gnaws-on-head_n_1881604.html)
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/funny-pictures-zombie-kitten-cat.jpg
A naked, bloody man broke into a home, jumped from a two-story window, tackled a passerby and chewed on her head while "screaming like an animal."
The gory scene unfolded Friday night in Hawley, Pa., 40 miles east of Scranton, where 20-year-old Richard Cimino Jr. allegedly went ballistic on a woman and two officers, Patch reported.
At about 5 a.m., Cimino reportedly drove his car off the road behind some houses in the small town. He stripped off his clothes, then tried and failed to break into a nearby home. He was told to leave, so he fled up the street and broke into another home. This one was vacant. He allegedly jumped from a second-story window.
State Trooper David Aulisio told Patch that Cimino "severely injured his arms and extremities" from the fall, but kept going.
Bleeding heavily, he found two women on the street and tackled one of them. Patch reported that he covered her in his blood. Then he began to "gnaw at [her] head, screaming like an animal," Aulisio said.
The women escaped and called police, who found Cimino lying on the road, severely injured and displaying "delusional behavior." Despite the injuries and a jolt from a Taser, Cimino managed to punch an officer in the face before he was arrested.
Kadagar_AV
09-13-2012, 22:27
Did I mention Sweden is crazy?
Descriptions are frowned upon, as it plays straight in the racists hands when so many of the offenders are coloured... You know, can't help the anti-immigration crowd get votes...
Sorry, derailing a nice thread... It wasn't fun, but sure as HELL weird.
Gregoshi
09-14-2012, 05:35
What's with all of the cannibalism lately? (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/13/richard-cimino-naked-bloody-gnaws-on-head_n_1881604.html)
No pictures of the victim? I wanted to see if Cimino has good taste in women.
Pennsylvania has had its fair share of weird news stories in the past year or so. Never knew I lived amongst so many nut cases.
Edit: and for the record Lemur, you find the best images to go with your weird news stories...some times a bit disturbing (guy dressed as a My Little Pony), but always complementary to the story. :bow:
Radioactive pedophile on the run (http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/local-national/radioactive-paedophile-on-the-run-14207100.html)
https://i.imgur.com/UeLJC.png
A college principal, who may be a danger to others after receiving intensive radiation treatment, is believed to be on the run in Ireland after failing to appear in Britain on child pornography charges.
A court in London was told that Thomas Leopold (42) could harm anyone he comes into contact with because he was given large doses of radiation for a thyroid condition and his levels of radioactivity could be dangerous to others.
The lecturer jumped bail to board an overnight ferry to Ireland under the noses of British police earlier this month.
"This is not a joke," Judge John Price said as he issued an arrest warrant. "Please warn officers that when he is arrested, he might be radioactive."
Kadagar_AV
09-15-2012, 08:18
I think You just won the thread, in a very disturbing manner....
InsaneApache
09-15-2012, 13:39
I bet they're picking straws as we speak for the job of escorting him into court.
( In the UK it's normal for a bail jumper to be handcuffed to a guard in court.)
Girl seriously ill after eating raw animal heart for a sorority membership trial (http://www.nrk.no/nyheter/distrikt/ostafjells/1.8324623)
A 16 year old girl lies seriously ill in isolation at hospital after she, among other things, had to eat a raw animal heart during a membership trial for a sorority at Drammen high school.
Late sunday night, the girl's father told that doctors treating her have said that her condition could be life-threatening. He says that E. coli is one of the things the doctors believe his daughter might have contracted.
Principal Ellen Kathrine Winstrup says she cannot stop the membership trials, as they happen outside of school time and have nothing to do with the school. But she has nothing good to say about the trials, which she believes ruin the school's reputation.
The reward for passing the trial, is access to closed parties.
Ey, it's just like Game of Thrones.
Gregoshi
09-17-2012, 23:58
Ey, it's just like Game of Thrones.
Or maybe just sitting on the throne.
Billionaire marries his own daughter at Westminster Abbey, successfully gets Wikipedia to scrub his page (http://blogs.villagevoice.com/runninscared/2010/10/memo_to_bruce_m.php)
https://i.imgur.com/9NJWQ.jpg
Over the years, as a high-flying financial player at places like Bear Stearns and then later managing your own hedge fund, you had not only amassed a fortune, but you had reproduced prodigiously, having six children by three different women, and then marrying a fourth. Then, in 1990, there was that great shock: You learned about Linda. Gorgeous, talented, eager-to-meet-you and all-grown-up Linda.
See, back in 1968, you'd had a short fling with a woman named Myra Westphall, a woman you hadn't heard from in decades. What you apparently didn't realize was that your short affair had left Myra pregnant, and that she'd given up the child for adoption. That little girl, Linda, grew up and, naturally, once she'd become an adult, wondered about her birth parents. [...]
[Note: The story is long and weird, full of odd details and strange twists that I cannot summarize in my usual style. You just gotta read it to see how freaky it is—Lemur]
Kralizec
09-18-2012, 20:32
Genital-cooking Japan man handed to prosecutors
A man who admits cooking and serving his own severed genitals to paying diners in Japan has been handed over to prosecutors on an allegation of indecent exposure, Tokyo police said Tuesday.
Criminal papers against the 23-year-old man and three other people who helped organise the event were sent to the Tokyo district public prosecutors’ office, the Metropolitan Police Department (MPD) said, without naming them.
But police did not question the dishing out of the genitals, possibly because there is no law against cannibalism in Japan.
The man had earlier identified himself as Mao Sugiyama and an “asexual” illustrator.
http://gulfnews.com/news/world/other-world/genital-cooking-japan-man-handed-to-prosecutors-1.1077967
Vladimir
09-18-2012, 20:46
Genital-cooking Japan man handed to prosecutors
http://gulfnews.com/news/world/other-world/genital-cooking-japan-man-handed-to-prosecutors-1.1077967
Eww. He froze them? Doesn't he have any respect for food quality? What would Chef Ramsay say?
Kralizec
09-19-2012, 00:19
Sorry Lemur, but...
It was very funny, but I had a distinct feeling of deja vu when I read your radioactive pedophile story. I did a google search and came across another article describing pretty much the same, from 2009. Then I noticed your article is from that year as well. Then I searched this thread and:
https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showthread.php?80840-News-of-the-Weird&p=2153921&viewfull=1#post2153921
Gosh durn it, I been Lemured in my own thread. Well, at least the billionaire incest story is recentish.
(Also note that my version of the story had better graphics.)
gaelic cowboy
09-19-2012, 20:41
U.S. Explodes Atomic Bombs Near Beers To See If They Are Safe To Drink (http://www.npr.org/blogs/krulwich/2012/09/18/161338723/u-s-explodes-atomic-bombs-near-beers-to-see-if-they-are-safe-to-drink)
Has a feel of something that may have been posted here before.
Vladimir
09-19-2012, 20:49
U.S. Explodes Atomic Bombs Near Beers To See If They Are Safe To Drink (http://www.npr.org/blogs/krulwich/2012/09/18/161338723/u-s-explodes-atomic-bombs-near-beers-to-see-if-they-are-safe-to-drink)
Has a feel of something that may have been posted here before.
This is why I love America.
Eww. He froze them? Doesn't he have any respect for food quality? What would Chef Ramsay say?
IT'S ******* RAW!
U.S. Explodes Atomic Bombs Near Beers To See If They Are Safe To Drink (http://www.npr.org/blogs/krulwich/2012/09/18/161338723/u-s-explodes-atomic-bombs-near-beers-to-see-if-they-are-safe-to-drink)
Has a feel of something that may have been posted here before.
in those hot days when you are just melting, literally, a cold beer hits the spot.
InsaneApache
09-20-2012, 14:34
In celebration of international talk like a pirate day I give you.....
A woman high on drink and drugs who stole a passenger ferry and crashed into boats shouting ''I'm Jack Sparrow'' has been jailed.
Reckless Alison Whelan, 51, was on a two-day bender when she climbed onto the moored 100-seater Dart Princess in Dartmouth, Devon.
Whelan was so drunk on Lambrini she dialled 999 and officers raced to the scene but she then unmoored the 45ft vessel and started drifting away.
She was heard shouting "I'm Jack Sparrow" and "I'm A Pirate" as she made her escape on the double-decker ferry.
But the boat then began hitting other vessels ''like a pinball machine'' - including a £70,000 catamaran, Torquay Magistrates Court in Devon heard.
The boat finally came to rest an hour later a mile upstream where lifeboats arrived to tow Whelan and her accomplice back to the harbour.
When arrested she claimed that she ''would have ended up in St Tropez'' if she hadn't been caught.
More than 30 ambulance, police, coastguard and RNLI officers were drafted in during the incident, a court heard.
Whelan, of Paignton, Devon, pleaded guilty to aggravated vehicle taking and was jailed for 122 days.
She caused thousands of pounds worth of damage, including £1,500 to the ferry itself and £300 to a moored vessel called Tomcat.
Speaking after the hearing, PC Clare Pearson said: ''This lady put the police, ambulance and coastguard to an awful lot of trouble.
''The amount of people called out to recover the boat and the damage caused to other vessels made it quite an expensive night."
Whelan had been drinking Lambrini and eating poisonous hallucinogenic plants when she headed to the ferry late at night on September 10, 2011.
The boat is usually used for wildlife cruises the Torbay area but had been hired for a different job and was moored in nearby Kingswear.
Whelan and her friend Tristam Locke climbed aboard and she then dialled 999 and said she thought she was having a seizure.
Paramedics arrived and found the defendant "rambling" and drunk while Locke became abusive and pushed one of the medics over.
Ambulance technician Peter Jordan said he and his colleague waited in their vehicle a few yards away from the ferry for police to arrive.
They then watched through the wing mirror as the ferry started to move.
Witnesses say the boat then began drifting ''like a pinball machine'' down the River Dart as Whelan shouted ''I'm Jack Sparrow, I'm A Pirate'', the court heard.
Ambulance technician Peter Jordan said: "We saw it drifting down the estuary.
"I heard a female voice saying they were pirates and asking what are we going to do now?"
Police arrived and were told the suspects were 200 yards away and heading towards dozens of other moored vessels.
Whelan later told police she untied two or three of the ropes connecting the boat to the shore because she kept tripping over them.
She said ''before she knew it'' she felt the boat moving and "noticed the hotels getting a long way away".
Police joined lifeboat crews on the river trying to intercept the boat and the harbour master was also alerted.
But the suspects shouted abuse from the out-of-control vessel and made jokes about being kidnapped, the court was told.
Whelan was heard taunting police by saying "what are you going to do now?" and "I believe this is out of your jurisdiction".
Officers watched as the boat span into a £70,000 fibreglass catamaran called Force Majeure and a moored vessel called Tomcat.
It finally came to rest in still water about a mile upstream where lifeboats arrived to ferry them back to the harbour.
Whelan admitted that she and Locke had been on a drinking spree and consumed deadly nightshade, which caused her to hallucinate.
She admitted she could get a "bit cocky" when drunk but said she panicked when she saw the police.
The court the ferry had been moored securely with seven ropes an hour or so before it was taken and was not seriously damaged.
Ashley Lane, the ferry's operations manager, said the would-be sailors were both "exceptionally lucky to be alive".
He said: "If the tide had been going out instead of coming in the boat could have been pulled onto rocks and the two of them could have been killed."
Magistrates had to decide whether Whelan, a chronic alcoholic who is awaiting a liver transplant, unhitched all the ropes knowing she would float away.
She denied the charge but magistrates found her guilty and she was also in breach of a four-month suspended sentence.
Locke, of Crediton, Devon, was fined £100 in a separate court case last year after admitting assaulting the ambulance technician by beating.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/9554957/Im-a-pirate-shouted-drunken-woman-before-hijacking-passenger-ferry.html
Vladimir
09-20-2012, 20:03
And speaking of English women: http://www.foxnews.com/world/2012/09/20/british-soldier-unexpectedly-gives-birth-in-afghanistan/
Kadagar_AV
09-20-2012, 21:22
And speaking of English women: http://www.foxnews.com/world/2012/09/20/british-soldier-unexpectedly-gives-birth-in-afghanistan/
Sure don't beat the fat lady arming herself with a newspaper before hitting the WC...
Gregoshi
09-20-2012, 21:24
In celebration of international talk like a pirate day I give you.....
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/9554957/Im-a-pirate-shouted-drunken-woman-before-hijacking-passenger-ferry.html
Alison will remember this as the day she almost got away with impersonating Captain Jack Sparrow.
Major Robert Dump
09-21-2012, 17:13
And speaking of English women: http://www.foxnews.com/world/2012/09/20/british-soldier-unexpectedly-gives-birth-in-afghanistan/
I heard she is taking 2 Spanish, 1 Russian, 1 Polish and 14 Afghan contractos on The Maury show for paternity tests
Vladimir
09-21-2012, 17:23
I heard she is taking 2 Spanish, 1 Russian, 1 Polish and 14 Afghan contractos on The Maury show for paternity tests
I'm pretty sure we can rule the Afghans out. She has too many X chromosomes.
Giraffe escapes circus in Italy, hilarity ensues (http://bologna.repubblica.it/cronaca/2012/09/21/foto/imola_una_giraffa_in_fuga-42972986/1/?ref=HREC1-12)
https://i.imgur.com/6dcrH.jpg
I feel bad for the giraffe. I guess it ended up dying.
Tellos Athenaios
09-21-2012, 21:49
Yes, from the linked article:
la bestia è morta improvvisamente nel primo pomeriggio. Sul corpo dell'animale saranno effettuati ora gli esami autoptici: ma secondo il veterinario del circo, ad ucciderla sarebbe stato un mix tra lo stress e i narcotici
Using some language skills (I don't speak Italian), that works out as:
The beast died during a first improvised ... An autopsy will be/was performed on the corps of the animal ... veterinarians from the circus ... a mix of stress and narcotics.
Now how is this for self-islamisation http://www.emirates247.com/offbeat/crazy-world/man-cuts-off-hands-to-stop-himself-from-stealing-2012-09-23-1.476583
(sorry Lemur if it doesn't belong here, I thought it was)
Gregoshi
09-23-2012, 15:49
Now how is this for self-islamisation http://www.emirates247.com/offbeat/crazy-world/man-cuts-off-hands-to-stop-himself-from-stealing-2012-09-23-1.476583
(http://www.emirates247.com/offbeat/crazy-world/man-cuts-off-hands-to-stop-himself-from-stealing-2012-09-23-1.476583)
For the record, I did not write the second post from the bottom in the Comment section - I am not user "GT". :no:
For the record, I did not write the second post from the bottom in the Comment section - I am not user "GT". :no:
Of course not you are pretty armless
In 1985 L. Ron Hubbard released a jazz album (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Space_Jazz)
And if you don't like it Tom Cruise will personally jack you up. Track listing:
Side 1
1. "Golden era of Sci Fi"
2. "Funeral for a Planet"
3. "March of the Psychlos"
4. "Terl, The Security Director"
5. "Jonnie"
6. "Windsplitter"
7. "The Mining Song"
Side 2
1. "The Drone"
2. "Mankind Unites"
3. "Alien Visitors Attack"
4. "The Banker"
5. "Declaration of Peace"
6. "Earth, My Beautiful Home"
"Windsplitter" below spoil. Music is quite bad, but for some reason the poster included some gory pics, hence the spoil.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CtxWlTIWRHo
When played backwards, I think I hear "Praise Xenu!".
Dirty Canuck cops smuggling Yank cheese (http://www.cbc.ca/m/touch/news/story/2012/09/21/niagara-police-cheese-smuggling-allegations.html)
Niagara Regional Police officers have been visiting pizzerias in the peninsula recently asking one important question: where did you get your cheese?
It’s part of a larger internal investigation into cheese smuggling, allegedly by some members of their own force.
CBC News has learned from numerous police sources that charges are expected soon against a few officers who are alleged to have been involved in the movement of caseloads of cheese from the U.S. to sell to Canadian pizzerias and restaurants.
The alleged scam involves jamming cases of "brick" cheese — used as a common pizza topping — into their vehicles to smuggle across the border. With U.S. cheese being as little as a third the price it is in Canada, drivers are making $1,000 to $2,000 a trip, according to numerous sources. [...]
Mario Sebastiano, owner of Super Mario’s pizza in Port Colborne, told CBC News he was approached two years ago by a Fort Erie man offering to supply numerous cases of contraband U.S. cheese. The Fort Erie man, along with some police officers, are now at the centre of the cheese smuggling probe.
"He was gonna sell me a case for 150 bucks — normally its $240," Sebastiano said. "He can supply whatever I want. If I want five to six cases a week, he’d give me five to six cases because he can bring it to this side here, no problem."
Sebastiano said he tried a sample, admitting it was an attractive offer, since his business buys more than $100,000 a year worth of cheese. But he said he turned it down, because it was illegal — and the contraband cheese was inferior.
Among the numerous pizza shop owners questioned by Niagara Regional Police officers in recent weeks were the staff at Volcano Pizzeria in Fonthill, west of Niagara Falls.
"Cops came in here a couple of times asking questions about it," Brandon Elms told CBC News. "We get all our stuff legit. We thought it was a joke at first. Who is going to go around trying to sell smuggled cheese?
"The cheese bandits, the mozzarella mafia!"
On unrelated news, I guess this is as it should be, even if it makes me have a sad. Just goes to show that weird cannot compete with booty:
News of the Weird
Replies: 6,239
Views: 103,940
Babe Thread
Replies: 5,209
Views: 1,006,019
Gregoshi
09-24-2012, 22:40
On unrelated news, I guess this is as it should be, even if it makes me have a sad. Just goes to show that weird cannot compete with booty:
The boobs in Babe thread are better than the boobs in the NOTW thread.
The Mayans were right: world bacon shortage 'unavoidable' (http://www.npa-uk.org.uk/Pages/Press_Releases.html)
https://i.imgur.com/7O80i.jpg
A world shortage of pork and bacon next year is now unavoidable, says Britain's National Pig Association. But British supermarkets can protect consumers from shortages and steep price rises if they pay Britain's loss-making pig farmers a fair price, to help them remain in production.
New data shows the European Union pig herd is declining at a significant rate, and this is a trend that is being mirrored around the world. Pig farmers have been plunged into loss by high pig-feed costs, caused by the global failure of maize and soya harvests. [...]
Around the world, pig farmers are selling their herds because they can no longer afford to feed their pigs. In the United States the government has introduced a pork-buying programme in a bid to keep its pig farmers in business. And the Chinese government is putting pork into cold storage, as a buffer against shortages and high prices next year.
Hooahguy
09-25-2012, 17:22
Seriously? Just when I had my first taste of it I find out that it will be in short supply next year.
Brb, off to eat all the bacon I can find.
Veho Nex
09-25-2012, 17:58
Seriously? Just when I had my first taste of it I find out that it will be in short supply next year.
Brb, off to eat all the bacon I can find.
I thought Jews didn't eat pork?
Hooahguy
09-26-2012, 00:22
We dont, but now that Im "free," as in, no parental supervision and nobody from around my college really knows my family, and as such, cant snitch to my father, I can eat what I want. Which is great.
Major Robert Dump
09-26-2012, 23:27
Bravo. Tis an outdated concept all around
Is wife-cooking murder? (http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/09/25/chef-may-have-cooked-his-wife-but-did-he-murder-her.html)
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/cooking-wife.jpg
Prosecutors made their final pitch yesterday in the trial of a Lomita, Calif., chef who told detectives that he slow-cooked his wife in a 55-pound pot before he drained her fat and hid her skull in the attic of his mother’s home. [...]
Los Angeles prosecutor Deborah Brazil [...] told the jury that David Viens killed his 39-year-old wife in their apartment on Oct. 18, 2009, in a fit of rage because he suspected she stole money from the sandwich shop they owned together, Thyme Contemporary Café. After he allegedly killed her, he put her 105-pound body in a garbage bag, drove to the sandwich shop, and boiled her body for four days in a pot, the prosecutor said.
Hooahguy
09-27-2012, 04:07
The real question is, did he eat her afterwards, and more importantly, did she taste good? You gotta make sure these sandwich shop guys know their stuff. If they cant cook their own wives well, how can we be sure they can make a good sandwich?
We dont, but now that Im "free," as in, no parental supervision and nobody from around my college really knows my family, and as such, cant snitch to my father, I can eat what I want. Which is great.
Baaaaaaaaacon calls youuuuuu, soooooooooo niceeee
Vladimir
09-27-2012, 12:52
Baaaaaaaaacon calls youuuuuu, soooooooooo niceeee
Didn't know which post you were replying to. Did you know that people taste a little like pork?
Since my father moved to Turkey, I can eat whatever I want all the time with no risk of disapproving glances! Well, there's that one time the neighbour lady looked very disapprovingly when my girlfriend spread her legs and -- well never mind.
Major Robert Dump
09-28-2012, 23:30
I don't get it. Please elaborate
Hooahguy
09-29-2012, 00:06
Im with MRD. Please explain by "when my girlfriend spread her legs." Im not sure I fully understand. Is she doing a split or something? Ive always been impressed by people who can do a split.
Gregoshi
09-29-2012, 00:14
I don't get it. Please elaborate
I think this explains it:
https://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h12/gbresslr/Org Pictures/porktheoneyoulove.jpg
Rhyfelwyr
10-01-2012, 15:01
Man gets head stuck in bin. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-19783214)
If that's a walking stick on the ground in front of him we're all going to hell...
Gregoshi
10-01-2012, 15:20
Man gets head stuck in bin. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-19783214)
Bin there, done that.
I've heard of throwing one's back out...
The hazzards of using a trash cane...
And "waste" series of puns:
Bet he was wasted.
A mind is a terrible thing to waste.
I see he's bent at the waste.
Major Robert Dump
10-01-2012, 15:28
That was definitly a walking stick.
I wonder how they got him out. Butter?
Gregoshi
10-01-2012, 15:39
I wonder how they got him out. Butter?
No, it was his head that was stuck. ~D
After two similar incidents happening a few weeks between, the message from the police is clear:
Leave your grenades at home, please (http://translate.google.com/translate?sl=auto&tl=en&js=n&prev=_t&hl=en&ie=UTF-8&layout=2&eotf=1&u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.nrk.no%2Fnyheter%2Fdistrikt%2Fostafjells%2Ftelemark%2F1.8342690):
Police sealed off the area around the Fyresdal police offices after a car with a grenade had parked in the area. The army has now confirmed that it was a practice grenade.
- [A man] showed up at the offices after having found a hand grenade in a cylinder at his house. [...] The man was asked to leave his car; and given the description of the grenade, it was decided to cordon off the area, 50 metres in all directions.
[...]
The situation in Fyresdal is reminiscent of an incident in Skien a few weeks ago. A man had then turned up with a grenade at the police station there.
- Yes, this is very similar to what happened in Skien. We ask in strongest terms that people let such discoveries stay where they are found, as it is easier to evacuate a residence than a police station or a shopping centre.
Gregoshi
10-01-2012, 22:42
Leave your grenades at home, please (http://translate.google.com/translate?sl=auto&tl=en&js=n&prev=_t&hl=en&ie=UTF-8&layout=2&eotf=1&u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.nrk.no%2Fnyheter%2Fdistrikt%2Fostafjells%2Ftelemark%2F1.8342690):
"Let It Be"
When you find yourself in times of trouble
And a hand grenade is close to thee
Speaking words of wisdom - let it be
And resist the urge to pick it up and bring it to the police
We're diving for cover, so let it be
Let it be, let it be, let it be, oh let it be.
We're calling in the bomb squad, so let it be.
lololol http://www.dumpert.nl/mediabase/297031/964abae4/spin_ter_waarde_van_233,95_dollar.html
Veho Nex
10-02-2012, 08:06
lololol http://www.dumpert.nl/mediabase/297031/964abae4/spin_ter_waarde_van_233,95_dollar.html
older than the internet but still funny.
Vladimir
10-02-2012, 12:58
"Let It Be"
When you find yourself in times of trouble
And a hand grenade is close to thee
Speaking words of wisdom - let it be
And resist the urge to pick it up and bring it to the police
We're diving for cover, so let it be
Let it be, let it be, let it be, oh let it be.
We're calling in the bomb squad, so let it be.
Art.
Japan’s first masturbation bar for women opens in Shibuya (http://www.tokyoreporter.com/2012/09/27/japans-first-masturbation-bar-for-women-opens-in-shibuya/)
https://i.imgur.com/gwtWN.jpg
Love Joule, located in the Shibuya entertainment district, opened in July and provides Japan, according to its Web site, with its first “love and sex bar dedicated to women.”
The wall behind the counter is adorned with dozens of colorful sex toys. Megumi Nakagawa, the bar’s proprietor, explains that typically a bar will have bottles of alcohol lining the wall. The appearance of vibrators, however, provides women with more confidence in speaking about spanking.
“Once they take a seat, customers are able to experience a pleasant place in which they can openly discuss masturbation,” says Nakagawa. “Since most people view female masturbation as something of a mystery or taboo, it is not a usual topic at typical bars.”
Nakagawa describes the atmosphere at Bar Joule as “fashionable and sexy in a different kind of space — perfect for girls-only discussions or a date.” [...]
But gents should take note that only women are allowed, with exceptions being made for men accompanied by ladies.
Major Robert Dump
10-02-2012, 15:15
YES! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
I have a new business idea. It would be like the porno booth arcade things by the interstate that cater to men
Except this one will cater to women, with Bryan Adams songs and puppies and crap, and maybe a mold machine where you can form, create and paint your own "utensil"
OH THANK GOD THEY FOUND THE SYRUP! (http://www.montrealgazette.com/news/million+maple+syrup+stolen+Quebec+recovered/7336807/story.html)
MONTREAL — If you like your maple syrup hot, there’s tons of it out there.
Literally.
The purloined product even traversed a provincial border after sticky-fingered thieves made off with the amber gold over the summer months.
Contents of 16,000 45-gallon barrels, siphoned off and reported stolen from a central distribution centre in August, have been found.
The Sûreté du Québec and the RCMP obtained search warrants last week and raided a facility in New Brunswick.
While Sergeant Daniel Thibodeau of the SQ could do no more than confirm that a search warrant “had been executed,” sources told The Gazette that an “important” amount of product was found in a maple syrup processing and exporting facility in Kedgwick, NB.
The barrels in the storage facility in Saint-Louis-de-Blandford, which is located 160 kilometres northeast of Montreal, near Victoriaville, were not taken outright but rather drained of their contents. The theft was discovered Aug. 24.
Presumably the contents were then whisked away in some sort of tanker truck.
This theft of sweet sirop is no small deal: the value of the stolen breakfast staple was estimated at more than $20 million. It was insured.
Last week, S.K. Export in Kedgwick was searched and a large quantity of syrup was shipped back to a storage facility in Quebec.
The “hot” syrup will be under lock and key, and monitored by surveillance cameras.
Kadagar_AV
10-03-2012, 21:35
OH THANK GOD THEY FOUND THE SYRUP! (http://www.montrealgazette.com/news/million+maple+syrup+stolen+Quebec+recovered/7336807/story.html)
wrote stuff about the HEIST AGAINST THE STRATEGIC MAPLE SYRUP RESERVE
CHEERS!! The old posts about this were so full of win.... I sooo wish I could be the armchair general of the strategic maple syrup reserve....
Major Robert Dump
10-04-2012, 07:30
Trying to ween your country off of foreign syrup dependency is no joke. All that money the US sends to Canada for syrup is used against us. The first step is to mke laws requiring smaller waffles and ancakes, but the foreign syrup lobby is working against us.
When you love a horse, once is not enough (http://www.wtsp.com/news/florida/article/276906/19/Man-arrested-for-having-sex-with-a-horse-again) (and of course it's Florida)
https://i.imgur.com/yrVAW.jpg
Tallahassee, Florida (WCTV) -- A Gadsden County man is accused of sneaking into a neighbor's barn and having sex with a horse.
It's the second time Patrick Linn has been arrested for it.
The owner of that horse can hardly believe Linn would return to the scene of the crime.
"I would say it's hard to believe, but I had a feeling he'd be back because I believe it's a compulsion type thing with him. I don't ... I just ... it's bad," Allen McDearmid said shaking his head.
Allen McDearmid says he knew there was trouble when his wife went to the barn and noticed some lubricant on the stall door.
Gregoshi
10-05-2012, 12:53
When you love a horse, once is not enough (http://www.wtsp.com/news/florida/article/276906/19/Man-arrested-for-having-sex-with-a-horse-again) (and of course it's Florida)
Sometimes a man wants a stable relationship. And sometimes he just wants a roll in the hay. Here Patrick could have both.
Atheist society throw out of fair for 'blasphemous pineapple' (http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2012/10/04/reading-university-atheist-society-thrown-out-blasphemous-mohammed-pineapple_n_1939317.html)
https://i.imgur.com/Fw0vA.png
A group of atheist students were kicked out of their university's fresher fair because of a "blasphemous pineapple" named Mohammed.
The Reading University Atheist, Humanist and Secularist Society (RAHS) took part in the fair on Wednesday, in order to promote their upcoming debate "Should we respect religion?".
The society displayed a pineapple bearing the name Mohammed on their stall, to "encourage discussion about blasphemy, religion, and liberty".
"We wanted to celebrate the fact that we live in a country in which free speech is protected, and where it is lawful to call a pineapple by whatever name one chooses," a society spokesperson said.
Towards the afternoon, the group was informed they had to leave the fair by a member of Reading University Student Union (RUSU) staff. The reason given was several complaints had made against the offending pineapple, although RAHS members insist they were not made aware of any such protestations.
The society refused to remove the fruit due to their "commitment to freedom of expression", to which they were told by the RUSU member: "Either the pineapple goes, or you do."
A struggle ensued, wherein the pineapple was seized, but shortly returned to the owners, where it was re-christened Jesus.
Gregoshi
10-06-2012, 04:54
Atheist society throw out of fair for 'blasphemous pineapple' (http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2012/10/04/reading-university-atheist-society-thrown-out-blasphemous-mohammed-pineapple_n_1939317.html)
The pineapple is a tropical fruit, not a topical one. Duh.
Gregoshi
10-06-2012, 05:15
OH THANK GOD THEY FOUND THE SYRUP! (http://www.montrealgazette.com/news/million+maple+syrup+stolen+Quebec+recovered/7336807/story.html)
I thought for sure Aunt Jemima and Mrs Butterworth had been plotting this caper in a Log Cabin. Bummer.
InsaneApache
10-06-2012, 13:13
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbXqpG2F0uM
InsaneApache
10-06-2012, 13:40
It’s blooming embarrassing, is what it is.
The best part: police still won’t admit the plants they seized in what was supposedly the biggest outdoor marijuana bust in Lethbridge history are plain old flowers — daisies, to be precise.
All police will concede at this point is the 1,624 plants torn from a suburban Lethbridge garden on July 30 isn’t marijuana, as first claimed after a phalanx of police marched in and starting plucking.
“This is a significant bust, given the size of this operation,” is how a senior officer put it at the time, while proudly displaying garbage bags full of the dastardly daises.
That same officer, Staff Sergeant Wes Houston, now admits the plant haul was a mistake.
“In any investigation, police count public safety as our top priority — our decision to seize the plants was made with the best information we had at the time,” said Houston, leader of CFSEU-Lethbridge.
Police were certainly convinced they had a huge haul of pot — and this was not the opinion of some lone rookie, frisky at the prospect of a big drug raid.
This was the judgment of veteran officers from the Combined Forces Special Enforcement Unit of the Alberta Law Enforcement Response Team — supposedly the best drug squad this province has to offer.
So many badges, and apparently, so little clue — at least when it comes to the difference between daisies and dope.
It’d be pure comedy if not for the damage the dubious raid may have caused.
There’s the garden.
These plants, called Montauk daisies, have been growing in Ryan Thomas Rockman’s yard for the past decade, and the once lush yard, tended by the avid gardener, is now trashed.
http://www.calgarysun.com/2012/10/02/whoops-a-daisy-significant-outdoor-bust-in-lethbridge-history-wasnt-weed#13495268865681&1249p
Tellos Athenaios
10-06-2012, 16:13
I'm not sure this qualifies, but then again Lemur is known for a quirky taste in music:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkaUsBwe0fo
InsaneApache
10-08-2012, 11:37
At last the headline I've always wanted.
Man Bites Dog.
STUNNED witnesses say a man who viciously attacked a dog on a street was trying to eat the animal alive.
Ontario police confirmed that a young man had been apprehended and admitted to hospital under provisions of the Mental Health Act as details about the bizarre case began emerging.
The dog, described as a female pit bull, suffered non-life-threatening injuries and remains in the care of animal control in Pembroke, Ontario.
While police are saying little, eyewitnesses are recounting a terrifying scene in the early morning hours of today, with one woman saying she and her husband were awakened by the mournful howls of an animal in distress.
Looking out the front window, the couple saw a man wearing only a pair of boxer shorts and lying on top of a dog. She said she raced outside and saw the man biting the dog’s back and head.
“It was something out of a horror movie,” said the woman, who asked not be identified. “He was literally eating her alive. It was terrible.”
In the car with a friend, 18-year-old Tanner Comeau, of Petawawa, Ont., said he observed the black form of the pit pull lying in the middle of the intersection. At first, he thought the dog had been struck by a car. Then he saw the figure of a man leaning over the dog’s body.
Comeau said he and his friend screamed at the attacker before calling 911.
The pit bull was gushing blood as a circle of bystanders gathered to yell at the man.
“He had the dog in a choke hold and was biting it,” Comeau said. “He was trying to eat it or something.”
Witnesses were reluctant to approach the assailant, who was behaving erratically.
Finally, the dog ran off and was taken indoors by residents.
The woman said she wrapped the dog up in a blanket, and said she thought the man may have been the owner because he kept calling the dog Jessie.
http://www.news.com.au/news/man-tried-to-eat-pit-bull-dog-alive/story-fnejlrpu-1226487406470
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