News of the Weird

[FactionHeir]

Repeat Noise Offender to face trial (http://uk.news.yahoo.com/4/20090427/tuk-wife-faces-trial-over-noisy-sex-dba1618.html)

[Fragony]

Looks like the octosquids are sending a message to the press ...

Shark 'dumped' on Australia paper (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/8015205.stm)

Police in south-west Australia say they are "dumbfounded" by the dumping of a live shark on the doorstep of a newspaper in Victoria state. The two-foot (60cm) creature was found lying at the front door of The Standard in Warrnambool city under cover of darkness after midnight on Wednesday.

Why would you do such a thing

[Viking]

A Swedish company has been fined 25,000 kronor ($3,000) after a malfunctioning robot attacked and almost killed one of its workers at a factory north of Stockholm.

Public prosecutor Leif Johansson mulled pressing charges against the firm but eventually opted to settle for a fine.

"I've never heard of a robot attacking somebody like this," he told news agency TT.

[...]

But the robot suddenly came to life and grabbed a tight hold of the victim's head. The man succeeded in defending himself but not before suffering serious injuries.

"The man was very lucky. He broke four ribs and came close to losing his life," said Leif Johansson.


http://www.thelocal.se/19120/20090428/

[Hosakawa Tito]

Swiss canton bans nude hiking. (http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2009/04/27/UPI-NewsTrack-Quirks-in-the-News/UPI-59471240866000/) Dang it all, there goes my vacation plans. Campfire songs (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D71Pd6c348A&feature=player_embedded)

[drone]

Recession hits NYC hard, Lemur laid off. (http://www.nypost.com/seven/04242009/news/regionalnews/wild_fired_by_the_zoo_165956.htm)

Layoffs in the city have spread from the piggy traders on Wall Street to the animals at the Bronx Zoo.

The institution is closing four exhibits and shipping hundreds of creatures to zoos and aquariums around the country, officials told the City Council Cultural Affairs Committee yesterday.

Deer, bats, porcupines, foxes, lemurs, caimans and antelopes will be pink-slipped as part of the 114-year-old zoo's effort to cope with a $15 million budget shortfall.
~D

[Lemur]

Recession hits NYC hard, Lemur laid off. (http://www.nypost.com/seven/04242009/news/regionalnews/wild_fired_by_the_zoo_165956.htm)
That's fine. We know how to scavenge. Don't be surprised if the garbage cans of New York start seeing some curbside recycling.


https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/ScavengingLemurs.jpg

[Hooahguy]

where do you find all these pics, Lemur?

[Hosakawa Tito]

where do you find all these pics, Lemur?

Family photos...:2thumbsup:

[Crazed Rabbit]

Deep in the Nevada badlands, an army approaches, poised to overrun the small towns far from civilization. But the people are ready to fight back against the Mormon army with rock music. Really loud rock music. (http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124052112850249691.html)

TUSCARORA, Nev. -- The residents of this tiny town, anticipating an imminent attack, will be ready with a perimeter defense. They'll position their best weapons at regular intervals, faced out toward the desert to repel the assault.

Then they'll turn up the volume.

Rock music blaring from boomboxes has proved one of the best defenses against an annual invasion of Mormon crickets. The huge flightless insects are a fearsome sight as they advance across the desert in armies of millions that march over, under or into anything in their way.
[A Mormon cricket crosses a highway north of Sparks, Nev., in a recent spring. The 2-inch-long insects often carpet the arid landscape in the spring and summer, devouring vegetation and driving residents to distraction.] Reno Gazette-Journal

A Mormon cricket crosses a highway north of Sparks, Nev., in a recent spring. The 2-inch-long insects often carpet the arid landscape in the spring and summer, devouring vegetation and driving residents to distraction.

But the crickets don't much fancy Led Zeppelin or the Rolling Stones, the townspeople figured out three years ago. So next month, Tuscarorans are preparing once again to get out their extension cords, array their stereos in a quarter-circle and tune them to rock station KHIX, full blast, from dawn to dusk. "It is part of our arsenal," says Laura Moore, an unemployed college professor and one of the town's 13 residents.

In flyspeck villages like Tuscarora, crickets are a serious matter. The critters hatch in April in the barren soil of northern Nevada, western Utah and other parts of the Great Basin, quickly growing into blood-red, ravenous insects more than 2 inches long.

Then they march. In columns that in peak years can be two miles long and a mile across, swarms move across the badlands in search of food. Starting in about May, they march through August or so, before stopping to lay eggs for next year and die.

In between, they make an awful mess. They destroy crops and lots of the other leafy vegetation. They crawl all over houses, and some get inside. "You'll wake up and there'll be one sitting on your forehead, looking at you," says Ms. Moore.

They swarm on roads, where cars turn them into slicks that can cause accidents. So many dead ones piled up on a highway last year that Elko County, Nev., called in snowplows to scrape them off.

Squashed and dying crickets give off a sickening smell. "For us, it's mostly the yuck factor," says Ron Arthaud, a painter here.

Many springs, the infestation is negligible. But every few years, far bigger swarms hatch. From 2003 to 2006, armies of crickets went forth. They smothered the county seat, Elko, causing pandemonium as residents fled indoors. Realtor Jim Winer couldn't, because he had to show homes. "I carried a little broom in my car," he says, "and when I got out, I would sweep a path through the bugs to the house."

Every half-century or so, plaguelike numbers hatch. The critters got their name in the 19th century after a throng of them ravaged the crops of a Mormon settlement. But "I don't think they care about Mormons or Baptists," says Lynn Forsberg, who runs Elko County's public-works program. "I don't think they care about anything."

Including one another. Mormon crickets are programmed to march. Any cricket that falls by the wayside is eaten by others, ensuring that at least some cross the hot, barren stretches well-fed.
Charm to Cricket Menace

"Taking the gong and a club, she faced the army of crickets and beat hard." Read the 1934 article from the Elko Daily Free Press.

Following an unseasonably warm winter, some in Elko County fear a big crop this year of Mormon crickets, known more precisely as shield-backed katydids, or Anabrus simplex. State entomologist Jeff Knight is using computer models to document when the crickets will hatch, and "once they have hatched, we will start going in and mapping where all the crickets are," he says.

Towns in their path aren't waiting to find out. Elko County officials have stored tons of poison bait, which they'll soon start handing out. Placed properly, it can help. In 2003, which was a bad year, residents organized a bucket brigade to lay poison bait in the countryside, luring many bugs to their doom.

But last year Diana Bunitsky sprinkled the bait too close -- right outside the rural diner she runs, Lone Mountain Station -- and crickets swarmed onto her property to gobble it. Ms. Bunitsky ran outside and sprayed them with a garden hose, "but when I looked back, they had gone around and were all over my walls," she says.

Some people use chalk dust to try to smother crickets. Lori Roa, a job counselor in Elko, swears by Lemon Joy. She sprinkles the detergent over her shrubbery. In Jarbidge, Nev., Rey Nystrom, proprietor of the Jarbidge Trading Post, says a neighbor uses a squirt bottle loaded with soapy water. "But you're squirting one at a time, so it's spitting against the wind, so to speak," he says.

Here in Tuscarora, signs are worrisome this spring. Numerous cricket nymphs in the sandy soil are beginning to wiggle, says Elaine Parks, a local artist.

Tuscarora began as a gold-mining town in the late 19th century, and by 1878 had a population of 5,000. But the ore mostly petered out by 1900, and the town has been dwindling ever since, to its current size of just over a dozen. ("But in summer we get up to 20," says postmaster Julie Parks.)

There are hints the community has mixed feelings toward its crickets. The town sports a giant sculpture of a Morman cricket, made out of chicken wire, burlap and glue. For the Fourth of July parade last year, three women dressed up as "cricket witches."

But when a throng of crickets began to advance ominously on Tuscarora in the spring of 2006, Ms. Parks, the artist, dug up a 1934 article in the Elko Free Press about a woman who had used a Chinese gong to drive them away. That led to the modern adaptation of a boombox perimeter.

"Crickets kind of sleep at night, so I would wake up first thing in the morning to get the music on and we would shut the music off at night," Ms. Moore says. Townsfolk cranked up the volume throughout the daylight hours for several days in a row.

"The theory was they'd hate heavy metal," Ms. Parks says. Indeed, locals report, in 2006, at least, many of the bugs stopped in their tracks. Says Mr. Knight, the entomologist: "The vibrations may deter the bugs, but I don't know of any research that says yes or no."

Some of the following year's crickets had hipper tastes, waltzing in to lay their eggs, as many as 100 apiece. In 2008, these eggs hatched right in the middle of Tuscarora. "They were crawling all over the side of the houses and three deep in the yard eating each other," Ms. Moore says.

The nymphs now wriggling in the dry soil near homes are too close to people for poison bait, although residents will probably try some when the hatchlings start to move about.

To fend off the armies marching in from outside, Tuscarora is ready to deploy the boombox defense again. "We'll have to come up with a playlist for the crickets," Ms. Parks says.

They have a fallback strategy, to make even more noise if rock music isn't enough: The townsfolk plan to crank up their lawn mowers and Weed Whackers.

[Banquo's Ghost]

Looks like the octosquids are sending a message to the press ...

Shark 'dumped' on Australia paper (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/8015205.stm)

Police in south-west Australia say they are "dumbfounded" by the dumping of a live shark on the doorstep of a newspaper in Victoria state. The two-foot (60cm) creature was found lying at the front door of The Standard in Warrnambool city under cover of darkness after midnight on Wednesday.


Why would you do such a thing

Maybe it was a loan shark? :inquisitive:

[Sasaki Kojiro]

Deep in the Nevada badlands, an army approaches, poised to overrun the small towns far from civilization. But the people are ready to fight back against the Mormon army with rock music. Really loud rock music. (http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124052112850249691.html)



Lol, I'm disappointed. I thought this was about fending off Morman tourist groups with music that offended them.

[Lemur]

http://www.thelocal.se/19120/20090428/
I think this is fantastic news. I can have my robot assault someone in Sweden and it's only going to cost me a $3,000 fine. Talk about bargains! It costs twice that in Denmark. Now we all know where to send our hunter drones to stalk the most dangerous prey!

[Lemur]

I, For One, Welcome Our Cloned Glow-in-the-Dark Beagle Overlords (http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/Health/wireStory?id=7447906)


https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/ap_dog_fluorescence_090428_mn.jpg

South Korean scientists say they have engineered four beagles that glow red using cloning techniques that could help develop cures for human diseases. The four dogs, all named "Ruppy" — a combination of the words "ruby" and "puppy" — look like typical beagles by daylight.

But they glow red under ultraviolet light, and the dogs' nails and abdomens, which have thin skins, look red even to the naked eye.

Seoul National University professor Lee Byeong-chun, head of the research team, called them the world's first transgenic dogs carrying fluorescent genes, an achievement that goes beyond just the glowing novelty.

"What's significant in this work is not the dogs expressing red colors but that we planted genes into them," Lee told The Associated Press on Tuesday.

[Crazed Rabbit]

There are superheroes among us... (http://www.wlwt.com/news/19305002/detail.html)


CINCINNATI -- Cincinnati police have a new ally in their fight against crime, whether they want it or not.

He calls himself Shadowhare, and he wears a mask and a cape to conceal his true identity. He's Cincinnati's own version of a superhero fighting crime and injustice where he finds it.

Vote: What do you think of Shadowhare?

"We help enforce the law by doing what we can in legal standards, so we carry handcuffs, pepper spray … all the legal weapons," said Shadowhare. "We will do citizen's arrests. We will intervene on crimes if there is one happening in front of us."

The man behind Shadowhare's mask is 21 years old and from Milford. Those are the only clues to his true identity that he will reveal. Shadowhare said he was abused as a child and grew up in foster homes, perhaps leading him to a life helping others.

"My message to Cincinnati is that there is still hope and all we have to do is stand together," he said.

Also, have a good reason for returning stuff to radio shack: (http://www.jsonline.com/news/wisconsin/43976117.html)


Eau Claire - A Radio Shack employee in Eau Claire is facing disorderly conduct and battery charges for punching a customer.

Police say the customer was trying to return an item Sunday, but the employee wouldn't let him. The customer then asked to talk to a manager.

That's when the 52-year-old male employee began punching the man. A bystander called 911.

The employee is due in court May 19.

CR

[Gregoshi]

There are superheroes among us... (http://www.wlwt.com/news/19305002/detail.html)

Shadow Hare? Care to confess anything CR? Where do you get your cape cleaned? :laugh4:

[Crazed Rabbit]

Hey, note the location of the article. Isn't Sasaki Kojiro from around Cincinnati?

CR

[Sasaki Kojiro]

Name: Shadow Hare (???)
Height: 5'7" ( :laugh4:)
Myspace page: yes

:bounce:

Ahahaha, no wonder the announce couldn't keep himself from laughing.

[Marshal Murat]

Why do Europeans love her? (http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=CNG.9ea588fe9f7bffff1fe65973f4532cff.211&show_article=1)

Berliners on the city's main shopping drag, the "Ku'damm", were greeted Thursday with an unusual sight: a giant mocked-up image of Chancellor Angela Merkel in a matching purple bra and knicker set.

[Lemur]

Why do Europeans love her? (http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=CNG.9ea588fe9f7bffff1fe65973f4532cff.211&show_article=1)
Pics or it didn't ha .... oh, nevermind.


https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/MerkelMania.jpg

[Crazed Rabbit]

Name: Shadow Hare (???)
Height: 5'7" ( :laugh4:)
Myspace page: yes

:bounce:

Ahahaha, no wonder the announce couldn't keep himself from laughing.

I think it may have to do with his costume more than his height.

If I ever suffered a blow to the head and decided to become some masked guy making citizen's arrests, I'd definitely have a costume composed of normal clothing, a la The Question.

Wow- just saw the videos. He's...somethin' else. But I guess you'd have to be, to dress up and walk around like that.

CR

[Marshal Murat]

I for one submit my new Internet Overlords (http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/gadgets-and-tech/news/an-invention-that-could-change-the-internet-for-ever-1678109.html)


The new system, Wolfram Alpha, showcased at Harvard University in the US last week, takes the first step towards what many consider to be the internet's Holy Grail – a global store of information that understands and responds to ordinary language in the same way a person does.

[Fragony]

No other place to put it, not weird just frustrating. ~:angry:

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v494/Fragony/delara-darabi3.jpg

Stoned to death ~:angry:

So that is why I donate to Iranian human rights groups ~:angry:

[Banquo's Ghost]

No other place to put it, not weird just frustrating. ~:angry:

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v494/Fragony/delara-darabi3.jpg

Stoned to death ~:angry:

So that is why I donate to Iranian human rights groups ~:angry:

This is the story (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/8030437.stm) that Fragony is highlighting. The poor girl was hanged, not stoned.

[Fragony]

My bad, whatever. What a bunch of savages why would you do such a thing.

[naut]

I for one submit my new Internet Overlords (http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/gadgets-and-tech/news/an-invention-that-could-change-the-internet-for-ever-1678109.html)

the internet's Holy Grail – a global store of information that understands and responds to ordinary language in the same way a person does.
Great. Now, not only will everyone on the internet reply in "lol"s and "THIS!"s and "FIRST"s, but my search engine will soon do so too. :thumbsup:

[Husar]

My bad, whatever. What a bunch of savages why would you do such a thing.

Absolutely, especially if she was innocent and didn't get a fair trial. :furious3:

[Lemur]

Frag, Husar, please try to keep the political stuff to a minimum in NotW. If you want to discuss the evils of Iran, you've got a wide-open expanse of Backroom in which to start a thread.

[Marshal Murat]

Russians will drink anything (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1176780/British-based-Russian-artist-drank-liquid-soap-scuffled-staff-air-rage-attack.html)


A respected Russian artist was arrested after mixing wine and prescription drugs before allegedly drinking liquid soap and attacking flight attendants on a trans-Atlantic flight.

[Louis VI the Fat]

mixing wine and prescription drugs before allegedly drinking liquid soap and attacking flight attendants on a trans-Atlantic flight.
No news. I hear wine mixed with drugs and liquid soap can legally be sold in the EU as 'rosé' nowadays. :idea2:

[Gregoshi]

No news. I hear wine mixed with drugs and liquid soap can legally be sold in the EU as 'rosé' nowadays. :idea2:
No way rosé! Say it ain't soap! :laugh4:

[Crazed Rabbit]

Brilliant, Gregoshi.

CR

[Fragony]

Is nothing sacred anymore? Could this be the end of cameltoes??? :help:

https://www.cuchini.com/

[InsaneApache]

A disaster. :shame:

[Gregoshi]

Mith and Martok will not be happy about this.

[edyzmedieval]

From mosnews.com, Russia.
Enjoy. :laugh4:



The doctors tried to persuade the patient that his penis was ideally sized, warned that he may be unhappy with the results of the surgery, and even showed him a life-sized replica of a 25-cm male organ. But the man stood his ground and demanded the operation.
The surgery was completed in two sessions, and happy Konstantin returned home almost twice as large as he used to be. But in just one month he was back at the clinic again, this time asking to undo the enlargement.
"He said no woman wants to be with him anymore," Life.ru quoted one of the doctors as saying.

[Hooahguy]

he deserved that.

[Gregoshi]

But in just one month he was back at the clinic again, this time asking to undo the enlargement.
One month? He didn't have it long enough. :inquisitive:

[Fragony]

From mosnews.com, Russia.
Enjoy. :laugh4:

oh maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan(ly) :laugh4:

[Lemur]

It's another one of those birds-strapped-to-your-calves (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30598542/) stories.


https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/songbirds.jpg

Prosecutors say a traveler tried smuggling songbirds into the United States by strapping more than a dozen birds to his legs and trying to walk out of Los Angeles International Airport.

Sony Dong and another man were charged Tuesday with conspiracy in an eight-count federal indictment. Messages left with their public defenders weren’t immediately returned.

The U.S. attorney’s office says Dong was held over for inspection at the airport when he returned from Vietnam earlier this month. Prosecutors say he had bird feathers and droppings on his socks, and birds’ tail feathers peeking out from under his pants.

[InsaneApache]

Blimey, if he'd hidden 'em a little higher up Dong might have had his dong pecked and rightly so. :laugh4:


Prosecutors say he had bird feathers and droppings on his socks, and birds’ tail feathers peeking out from under his pants.

:laugh4:

[Crazed Rabbit]

Oil Tanker rescues hippy-boat. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/8034027.stm)


An expedition team which set sail from Plymouth on a 5,000-mile carbon emission-free trip to Greenland have been rescued by an oil tanker.

CR

[Gregoshi]

Oil Tanker rescues hippy-boat. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/8034027.stm)

Twas a crude awakening for the eco-sailors.

[Vladimir]

Carbon emission free trip huh? Maybe they all held their breath too.

[Fragony]

Kinda odd they don't want to be recycled, and settle for being additional weight, costing even more of the extremely polluting fuel (it really is) that's used for ships.


LOL women in Kenia are on a sex-strike to enforce reforms on women-rights..

you go girl.

[Lemur]

Man "beaten to a pulp" by children (http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574,25441818-2,00.html)

A man says he was was beaten to a pulp by a gang of more than 20 children - some as young as eight - because he had no cigarettes to give them.

Heavily bruised and suffering a fractured eye socket, broken jaw and shattered teeth, Glenn Lambourn was still shaken when talking to the Northern Territory News about the vicious attack.

"I thought I was going to die," he said. "They just kept smashing me over the head - I was on all fours and they surrounded me and kept laying the boot in flat out.

"They just did not stop - I felt my teeth go.

"All I could do was try and run but I kept falling."

Mr Lambourn, 35, said he was walking to catch a cab after drinking with friends at the Palmerston Tavern in Palmerston CBD when the attack happened on Sunday.

[Vladimir]

We had this in the Frontroom but...

How many five year olds can you take in a fight. (http://www.islamicaweb.com/forums/humour/3504-how-many-5-year-olds-can-you-take-fight.html)

I'm hoping Fragony bites on this one. ~;)

[Hooahguy]

We had this in the Frontroom but...

How many five year olds can you take in a fight. (http://www.islamicaweb.com/forums/humour/3504-how-many-5-year-olds-can-you-take-fight.html)

I'm hoping Fragony bites on this one. ~;)
i got 30 kids.

[Fragony]

You could take on 15 five year old kids in a fight. lol

[drone]

Queen of Hearts takes over Botswana (http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5j_3V9UFdlVhlq4vEEkNkmSjvF0Kg)
Botswana plans to circumcise nearly half a million

GABORONE (AFP) — Botswana, which has one of the world's highest HIV infection rates, has launched a scheme to circumcise nearly half a million men to curb the spread the disease, the health ministry said Thursday.

The country hopes to circumcise 460,000 men over the next five years, after a series of studies found that circumcised men were two to three times less likely to contract HIV, said Janet Mwambona, a public health specialist in charge of the project.

"For the public health benefits of the preventive effect of circumcision to be realised, the Ministry of Health is supposed to cover 80 percent of eligible males in Botswana," she said.

:fainting: x 460,000

[InsaneApache]

I read recently that circimcision doesn't cut it, if you pardon the pun, in combatting HIV/AIDS. I'll try and dig it up.

[Evil_Maniac From Mars]

Queen of Hearts takes over Botswana (http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5j_3V9UFdlVhlq4vEEkNkmSjvF0Kg)
Botswana plans to circumcise nearly half a million

GABORONE (AFP) — Botswana, which has one of the world's highest HIV infection rates, has launched a scheme to circumcise nearly half a million men to curb the spread the disease, the health ministry said Thursday.

The country hopes to circumcise 460,000 men over the next five years, after a series of studies found that circumcised men were two to three times less likely to contract HIV, said Janet Mwambona, a public health specialist in charge of the project.

"For the public health benefits of the preventive effect of circumcision to be realised, the Ministry of Health is supposed to cover 80 percent of eligible males in Botswana," she said.

:fainting: x 460,000

And this isn't optional? :inquisitive:

[Hosakawa Tito]

I read recently that circimcision doesn't cut it, if you pardon the pun, in combatting HIV/AIDS. I'll try and dig it up.

Should work in the "short" term. I can't imagine being too interested in sex until the bit they trimmed healed up.

[Fragony]

I need some more coverage on that one

[Hooahguy]

Should work in the "short" term. I can't imagine being too interested in sex until the bit they trimmed healed up.
glad i got mine when i was 8 days old.

[Fragony]

This should make IA day, and I like making IA's day escpecially when it involves these labour-chickens.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2422245.ece

[Vladimir]

Dr. Zaius, is that you?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/may/10/adelaide-zoo-orang-utan-escape

[InsaneApache]

Dr. Zaius, is that you?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/may/10/adelaide-zoo-orang-utan-escape

Why do I have a mental picture of her trying to get into Switzerland by riding a motorbike over a fence? :laugh4:

[Gregoshi]

Now Brown has ignited another powder keg. Just what he needed. An how thoughtful was it of The Sun to return the papers to 10 Downing Street after they have culled through it for all the juice bits? That is journalistic integrity at its finest. :2thumbsup:

Regarding the makeup, so what? Nixon came out of his debate with Kennedy fairing poorly in part because he worn no makeup and sickly on TV. So I see makeup as a key political tool to assist in coverups. After this story though, I don't think Brown will need any blush for awhile. :oops:

[Lemur]

This should make IA day, and I like making IA's day escpecially when it involves these labour-chickens.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2422245.ece
How is this News of the Weird? So people who go on TV wear makeup, quickly, alert the media.

I'll fire back with something weird but smaller. Much smaller.

Condoms 'too big' for Indian men (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/6161691.stm)

A survey of more than 1,000 men in India has concluded that condoms made according to international sizes are too large for a majority of Indian men.

The study found that more than half of the men measured had penises that were shorter than international standards for condoms.

It has led to a call for condoms of mixed sizes to be made more widely available in India.

The two-year study was carried out by the Indian Council of Medical Research.

Over 1,200 volunteers from the length and breadth of the country had their penises measured precisely, down to the last millimetre.

The scientists even checked their sample was representative of India as a whole in terms of class, religion and urban and rural dwellers.

The conclusion of all this scientific endeavour is that about 60% of Indian men have penises which are between three and five centimetres shorter than international standards used in condom manufacture.

[Gregoshi]

It is time for someone to throw out the "stiff measures" pun.

I wonder if the Indian government realises they just gave Pakistan some good taunting ammo.

[Gregoshi]

Ah <head smack!> How could I forget to mention the condom shortage in India?! :wall:

[woad&fangs]

Lemur, I'm almost positive that you have posted that story before :inquisitive:

[Strike For The South]

Lemur, I'm almost positive that you have posted that story before :inquisitive:

I was going to say the same thing.

[Lemur]

It's certainly possible. I try to read through the entire News of the Weird once a year or so, and I don't recall reading it yet. Maybe it's just that I post so many phallus-oriented stories, they all start to sound the same.

[InsaneApache]

Perhaps the condoms don't fit because they've had their penis chewed/hacked/shot/bitten/crushed off. That would go nicely with the theme. :laugh4:

[Gregoshi]

Perhaps the condoms don't fit because they've had their penis chewed/hacked/shot/bitten/crushed off. That would go nicely with the theme. :laugh4:
I blame the tighty-whiteties. :yes:

[Louis VI the Fat]

I blame the tighty-whiteties. :yes:Yeah, yeah, blame whitey again for India's problems. :no:

[Hosakawa Tito]

It is time for someone to throw out the "stiff measures" pun.

I wonder if the Indian government realises they just gave Pakistan some good taunting ammo.

They certainly have given Pakistanees swelled heads...

[Gregoshi]

Yeah, yeah, blame whitey again for India's problems. :no:
What goes around, comes around. :laugh4:

[Crazed Rabbit]

It's Science: Zombie Fire Ants (http://news.yahoo.com/s/mcclatchy/20090512/sc_mcclatchy/3231765;_ylt=AnTYncPTp9RYax1pWmORs16s0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTJoczNodjg1BGFzc2V0A21jY2xhdGNoeS8yMDA5MDUxMi8zM jMxNzY1BGNwb3MDMTAEcG9zAzE3BHNlYwN5bl90b3Bfc3RvcnkEc2xrA3BhcmFzaXRpY2ZsaQ--)


The tool is the tiny phorid fly, native to a region of South America where the fire ants in Texas originated. Researchers have learned that there are as many as 23 phorid species along with pathogens that attack fire ants to keep their population and movements under control.

So far, four phorid species have been introduced in Texas .

The flies "dive-bomb" the fire ants and lay eggs. The maggot that hatches inside the ant eats away at the brain, and the ant starts exhibiting what some might say is zombie-like behavior.

"At some point, the ant gets up and starts wandering," said Rob Plowes, a research associate at UT.

The maggot eventually migrates into the ant's head, but Plowes said he "wouldn't use the word 'control' to describe what is happening. There is no brain left in the ant, and the ant just starts wandering aimlessly. This wandering stage goes on for about two weeks."

About a month after the egg is laid, the ant's head falls off and the fly emerges ready to attack any foraging ants away from the mound and lay eggs.

Plowes said fire ants are "very aware" of these tiny flies, and it only takes a few to cause the ants to modify their behavior.

"Just one or two flies can control movement or above-ground activity," Plowes said. "It's kind of like a medieval activity where you're putting a castle under siege."

CR

[Gregoshi]

It's Science: Zombie Fire Ants (http://news.yahoo.com/s/mcclatchy/20090512/sc_mcclatchy/3231765;_ylt=AnTYncPTp9RYax1pWmORs16s0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTJoczNodjg1BGFzc2V0A21jY2xhdGNoeS8yMDA5MDUxMi8zM jMxNzY1BGNwb3MDMTAEcG9zAzE3BHNlYwN5bl90b3Bfc3RvcnkEc2xrA3BhcmFzaXRpY2ZsaQ--)

That just rocketed to the top of my list of "Coolest Things in Nature". :2thumbsup:

[InsaneApache]

Not to mention that only their heads fall off. Don't ants have penises? :inquisitive: :laugh4:

[Hosakawa Tito]

Wow, Night of the Living Dead for ants. I didn't know they had brains or penises~:wacko:

[seireikhaan]

nevermind...

[Pannonian]

Footballer has egg on his face (http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/news-and-comment/kirk-broadfoot-in-hospital-after-egg-explodes-1685457.html)

It has emerged that Rangers defender Kirk Broadfoot was treated in hospital on Sunday after an egg exploded in his face.

The Scotland player was inspecting two eggs he had poached in the microwave when one of them blew up, squirting scalding water onto his face.

[Caius]

What a way to kick again the News of the Weird thread.

[Lemur]

Disgraced Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich returns ... in shampoo form (http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/alltherage/2009/05/new-blagojevich-shampoo-for-bouncin-and-misbehavin-hair.html)!


https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/6a00d8341c630a53ef01156f949b97970c-.jpg

According to the website, the shampoo contains silk protein, keratin and panthenol to strengthen hair and add body and shine as well as vitamin E, and a host of extracts, including green tea, rosemary, comfrey and orchid (for their "anti-oxidant and stimulating qualities").

The end result is described as "a beautiful golden hue," a reference, like the name, to a particularly notable naughtiness he allegedly uttered on a wiretapped conversation.

While the idea may, indeed, turn out to be golden for Fath — he told me this morning he's received as many as 500 orders in a day and a half — don't think the preening pol that inspired it is making a dime from it.

"I've never spoken to him, he has nothing to do with it, and he isn't getting any money from it," Fath said when I asked about any sort of licensing deal. "But I've heard form people in his organization that he's aware of it and likes the whole idea." (Of course, he does.)

[Lemur]

It's almost father's day ...

Man tried to hire prostitute for his son, 14 (http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idINTRE54E4CT20090515)

LONDON - A man who tried to hire a prostitute to take his 14-year-old son's virginity as a present was spared jail by a court on Friday.

The Polish national took the boy out in his car and allowed him to pick out the prostitute, who was standing at the side of the road in the red-light district of Nottingham.

But the 42-year-old father was arrested because the teenager had chosen an undercover police officer, Nottingham Crown Court heard.

[Gregoshi]

Disgraced Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich returns ... in shampoo form (http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/alltherage/2009/05/new-blagojevich-shampoo-for-bouncin-and-misbehavin-hair.html)!
Here's what I'd do... (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyu14nx2uF8) :washing:

[Aemilius Paulus]

It's almost father's day ...

Man tried to hire prostitute for his son, 14 (http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idINTRE54E4CT20090515)

LONDON - A man who tried to hire a prostitute to take his 14-year-old son's virginity as a present was spared jail by a court on Friday.

The Polish national took the boy out in his car and allowed him to pick out the prostitute, who was standing at the side of the road in the red-light district of Nottingham.

But the 42-year-old father was arrested because the teenager had chosen an undercover police officer, Nottingham Crown Court heard.
GAH!!!!!!! I just came over to this thread to post this story when you apparently got here faster.... Fail. Oh well, this story was a very likely candidate for such thread, as it is both sensational and on Google News, which I am apparently not the only user of...

[Husar]

I don't find that weird, I'd probably choose the undercover cop as well. :yes:

[Fragony]

If you didn't know it, Belgium has invaded our harbour-city Den Helder, a very big military excercise. They must have seen these americans on tv that are handing out candy at the kids. But what do you give kids if you don't have candy with you?

bullets! what else?

beyond hope :beam:

[Gregoshi]

Fragony, you simply MUST be the Missing Link. All scientific evidence points to it. :laugh4:

[Lemur]

Proof that ninjas are vulnerable to … marketing.

'Nicotine Ninja' Prefers Brand-name Cigs (http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/05/13/ap/strange/main5012164.shtml)

Colorado's Jefferson County authorities are looking a man they've dubbed the "Nicotine Ninja" believed to be responsible for stealing $120,000 worth of cigarettes. Authorities said the suspect is completely clad in dark clothing and covers half his face with a black cloth when he breaks into liquor stores in the middle of the night. The man is believed to be responsible for 118 burglaries across the metro area during the last two years.

Authorities said he usually only takes brand-name cigarettes and ignores the generic brands.

[Lemur]

Giant Lizards Pose Threat in Florida (http://news.aol.com/article/nile-monitor-lizards-florida/486241)


https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/MonitorAsianWater1.jpg

Nile monitor lizards, which can grow up to 6 feet long, are plaguing the west coast of the Sunshine State. The non-indigenous animals, which were introduced to the area as pets, are causing potentially deadly roadblocks at an airport and threatening the survival of native species.

[Aemilius Paulus]

Heh, as a Florida resident, I suppose I will have to watch out for those from now on... Just as long as my parents/grandparents do not know about this... They will freak out.

[Gregoshi]

Giant Lizards Pose Threat in Florida (http://news.aol.com/article/nile-monitor-lizards-florida/486241)

...Nile monitor lizards, which can grow up to 6 feet long, are plaguing the west coast of the Sunshine State. The non-indigenous animals, which were introduced to the area as pets, are causing potentially deadly roadblocks at an airport and threatening the survival of native species.
The Florida Game Commission is reportedly attempting to counter the Monitor lizard invasion by genetically manipulating their own native lizard they've dubbed the "Merrimack" lizard. The Merrimack lizard with be iron plated and feature 8 cannons on each flank of the creature and an iron ram on the snout. :clown:

[Vladimir]

The Florida Game Commission is reportedly attempting to counter the Monitor lizard invasion by genetically manipulating their own native lizard they've dubbed the "Merrimack" lizard. The Merrimack lizard with be iron plated and feature 8 cannons on each flank of the creature and an iron ram on the snout. :clown:

:2thumbsup:

[Lemur]

Porcupines + Sex = Bad (http://www.russiatoday.com/Top_News/2009-05-18/Porcupine_takes_revenge_on_tourists_breaking_sex_law.html?fullstory)

The law in the US state of Florida specifically forbids having sex with a porcupine, and for a good reason, as two tourists from Russia discovered while trying to break it. [...]

Two tourists from St Petersburg, Russia, decided to defy the wise instruction of Florida’s legal system and engage in lewd activity with the spiked beast, reports Tvoy Den tabloid.

The idea came to Anton, 32, and Evgeny, 30, after a long party with a lot of booze. A guideline into weird and outwardly dumb laws of different American states was its centrepiece, and the one about porcupines apparently caught the friends’ imagination.

“We’re here to have as much fun as we can,” decided Anton after a brief discussion, and the whole company went out into the Floridian woods in search of illegal pleasures. Unfortunately for them they found one.

The newspaper didn’t go into technical details about what happened next, but the next day both men, who spent the night taking a flight to Los Angeles, had to go to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. The diagnosis was hardly unexpected: porcupine needles in the genitals.

The damage caused by the porcupine fighting for its honor was horrific. Both Anton and Evgeny had severe inflammation and nearly lost their private parts. At least they didn’t have to answer to the law, having left Florida before seeking medical help.

[Hosakawa Tito]

Man, that has to be the leading candidate for this year's Darwin Award.:laugh4: Ohh baby that hurt so good.

[Fragony]

Oh crap the mother of all damage-claims :sweatdrop:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1183600/How-Neanderthals-met-grisly-end--ate-them.html

[Samurai Waki]

I'm suddenly hungry for Chimpanzee.

[CountArach]

This Trumps all previous lawsuits (http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/5bn-the-cost-of-saying-donald-trump-is-a-mere-millionaire-1687222.html)

$5bn: the cost of saying Donald Trump is a mere millionaire
Donald Trump's response, when an investigative journalist published a book alleging he wasn't the billionaire he claimed, was to fire off a $5bn lawsuit, a typically thunderous gesture from the orange-haired skyscraper mogul and star of the US version of The Apprentice. But when hauled before lawyers to give a testimony in the case and explain how he valued his empire, he gave answers that would have made an accountant blush.

In the 2007 deposition, made public before a court hearing yesterday, Mr Trump said he uses "mental projections" to estimate the worth of his properties, admitted exaggerating the success of his businesses ("who wouldn't?"), and says that his perception of his own personal "brand value" goes up and down with his mood. The upshot is that Mr Trump's actual worth is more mysterious than ever, at a time when he is fighting to salvage numerous property deals from the recession and has seen his Atlantic City casinos business go bankrupt.

Mr Trump says that anyone claiming he is not a billionaire is undermining his business, and that the allegations in TrumpNation, a book by New York Times reporter Timothy O'Brien, had cost him lucrative deals across the world. Mr O'Brien and his publishers were in a New Jersey court yesterday arguing that his lawsuit is ridiculous, and asking a judge to throw out the mogul's claims for $5bn in compensation and damages.

[Louis VI the Fat]

This Trumps all previous lawsuits (http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/5bn-the-cost-of-saying-donald-trump-is-a-mere-millionaire-1687222.html)The NOTW thread is not for debate, but I can't help noting that Trump has got a point. His succes is build on projecting succes.

[InsaneApache]

As an aside, a trump is English slang for a fart. Just thought I'd share that with you. :juggle2:

[Vladimir]

Saudi 'Killer Chip' Implant Would Track, Eliminate Undesirables (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,520331,00.html)


It could be the ultimate in political control — but it won't be patented in Germany.

German media outlets reported last week that a Saudi inventor's application to patent a "killer chip," as the Swiss tabloids put it, had been denied.

The basic model would consist of a tiny GPS transceiver placed in a capsule and inserted under a person's skin, so that authorities could track him easily.

Model B would have an extra function — a dose of cyanide to remotely kill the wearer without muss or fuss if authorities deemed he'd become a public threat.

The inventor said the chip could be used to track terrorists, criminals, fugitives, illegal immigrants, political dissidents, domestic servants and foreigners overstaying their visas.

"The invention will probably be found to violate paragraph two of the German Patent Law — which does not allow inventions that transgress public order or good morals," German Patent and Trademark Office spokeswoman Stephanie Krüger told the English-language German-news Web site The Local.

Anyone want to try and chip all the illegals in the US? If you're contracted from overseas to do the job make sure you pay attention to your visa expiration date.

[InsaneApache]

Police have told of their relief after discovering a 999 call they feared could be a murder in progress was actually made by a 14-month-old dog.

Bailey, a Golden Retriever from Herefordshire, had run off with a cordless phone in his mouth and dialled 999 while chewing it, police said.

The operator raised the alarm when she heard heavy breathing and shouting.

"Come out or else, I'm warning you", were the last words she heard before the call ended and she alerted police.

Hide and seek

When the operator finally managed to call the number back, Jodie Halfpenny explained that her dog Bailey was to blame.

He had stolen the handset and run off into the garden to chew it, she said.

Ms Halfpenny, from Withington, Herefordshire, and her partner Jamie gave chase, but Bailey thought it was a game and hid behind the shed and refused to come out.

The call was made at about 1630 BST on 20 April just as the couple were ordering Bailey to come out.

'Potential murder'

Ms Halfpenny said: "Bailey chews everything he can just now, but we didn't think he could dial 999."

A spokesman for West Mercia Police said: "Staff thought they had a violent domestic or even a potential murder on their hands.

"For a few moments, they wondered what sort of incident they were dealing with.

"An operator phoned the number back hesitantly, only to be greeted by a very apologetic woman who confirmed that all was well and that the culprit was not her husband- but the dog. You just couldn't think this stuff up, could you."

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/hereford/worcs/8059349.stm

[Alexander the Pretty Good]

Saudi 'Killer Chip' Implant Would Track, Eliminate Undesirables (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,520331,00.html)



Anyone want to try and chip all the illegals in the US? If you're contracted from overseas to do the job make sure you pay attention to your visa expiration date.

I read the title first as "Killer Chimp" :sweatdrop:

[InsaneApache]

Paulo Serodio says he is.

Born and raised in Mozambique and now a naturalized U.S. citizen, Serodio, 45, has filed a lawsuit against a New Jersey medical school, claiming he was harassed and ultimately suspended for identifying himself during a class cultural exercise as a "white African-American."

"I wouldn't wish this to my worst enemy," he said. "I'm not exaggerating. This has destroyed my life, my career."

The lawsuit, which asks for Serodio's reinstatement at the school and monetary damages, named the Newark-based University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey and several doctors and university employees as defendants.

Filed Monday in U.S. District Court in New Jersey, the lawsuit traces a series of events that Serodio maintains led to his 2007 suspension, starting with a March 2006 cultural exercise in a clinical skills course taught by Dr. Kathy Ann Duncan, where each student was asked to define themselves for a discussion on culture and medicine.


After Serodio labeled himself as a white African-American, another student said she was offended by his comments and that, because of his white skin, was not an African-American.

According to the lawsuit, Serodio was summoned to Duncan's office where he was instructed "never to define himself as an African-American … because it was offensive to others and to people of color for him to do so."


"It's crazy," Serodio's attorney Gregg Zeff told ABCNews.com. "Because that's what he is."

Serodio, who lives in Newark, said he never meant to offend anyone and calling himself African-American doesn't detract from another person's heritage.

Neither the American Civil Liberties Union nor the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People responded to messages seeking comment on the meaning of African-American.

The Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary defines African-American as "an American of African and especially of black African descent."

"There are people of all races who are African," Serodio said, adding that he's never had a problem identifying himself as an African-American until that day in Duncan's class.

Zeff pointed out that Serodio only labeled himself after his instructors asked him to do so and was then penalized for it.

http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=7567291

:dizzy2:

[Lemur]

Take the money and run (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090521/ap_on_fe_st/as_odd_new_zealand_bank_blunder_2)

WELLINGTON, New Zealand – Police are looking for a New Zealand couple who disappeared after a bank mistakenly put 10 million New Zealand dollars ($6.1 million) into their account.

The couple, who ran a gas station in the northern city of Rotorua, applied to Westpac Bank for a NZ$10,000 ($6,000) overdraft and had 1000 times that amount paid into their account. The two then withdrew some of the money and disappeared, Detective Senior Sgt. David Harvey said.

Harvey said Interpol has been contacted for help, suggesting authorities believe they may have fled abroad with the cash.

[Lemur]

World Beard Championship (http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/WeirdNews/2009/05/21/9522511-ap.html)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/beards.jpg

ANCHORAGE, Alaska - The world's fanciest whiskers are coming to Alaska so their owners can strut their manly stuff in a land that has long appreciated furry faces.

On Friday, the 2009 World Beard and Moustache Championships will come to Anchorage, where more than 200 competitors from 12 countries will brandish facial hair ranging from delicate Salvador Dali-style mustaches to bushy full beards.

Seasoned competitors say Germans have the facial hair to beat.

"They take it very seriously. It is an age-old tradition there to have beards," said Bob Gengler, a 44-year-old physical therapist in Anchorage who sports a big bushy beard.

The Germans' 20-person contigent this year will not include Elmar Weisser, who is renowned for his ingenuity in the freestyle full beard category. In 2005 in Berlin, he styled his beard into the shape of the Brandenburg Gate. Two years later in Brighton, England, his beard formed London's Tower Bridge.

[InsaneApache]

You need to get out more you know.

[Lemur]

To which I respond:

Man charged in penis 'puppet' incident (http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2009/05/21/Man-charged-in-penis-puppet-incident/UPI-25521242932014/)

FEDERAL WAY, Wash., May 21 -- Police in Washington state said a suspect used his genitals as a puppet while standing over an air conditioner intake at an apartment complex.

The police report of the incident said Timothy Wayne Martin, 44, of Auburn, Wash., was arrested after residents of the Arcadia Apartment Complex in Federal Way called police at about 10:30 a.m. May 13 and reported a man standing over an air conditioner intake wearing only an unbuttoned flannel shirt and "was apparently manipulating" his penis with a string "like a puppet," Seattlepi.com reported Thursday.

Police said Martin was arrested at the scene and still had the string attached to his penis.

[Louis VI the Fat]

FEDERAL WAY, Wash., May 21 -- Police in Washington state said a suspect used his genitals as a puppet while standing over an air conditioner intake at an apartment complex.
If there is a God, then one day, one day, we'll have a headline in this thread that reads something like: 'Police in Washington state said a suspect used his genitals as a puppet while standing over an air conditioner intake while apparantly browsing a cult website named 'totalwar.org'...

That would be sooo awesome!

Edit: hang on...there's a certain Rabbit who lives in Washington State. Hmmm...I wonder. :sweatdrop:

[InsaneApache]

Quite. However you wouldn't want to tie the string too tight because we all know where that may lead. :shame:

[Crazed Rabbit]

If there is a God, then one day, one day, we'll have a headline in this thread that reads something like: 'Police in Washington state said a suspect used his genitals as a puppet while standing over an air conditioner intake while apparantly browsing a cult website named 'totalwar.org'...

That would be sooo awesome!

Edit: hang on...there's a certain Rabbit who lives in Washington State. Hmmm...I wonder. :sweatdrop:

:shifty:

More Washington news: Stupid Eco-Vandals (http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/theblotter/2009247815_colfax_egg_vandals_lose_the_st.html)


Vandals who egged a car dealership near Pullman left a note at the scene condemning "the ignorant use of fossil fuels."

Unfortunately for the vandals, the note was written on the back of a grocery store receipt for five dozen eggs. Investigators reviewed store video and identified four suspects buying eggs, says the Whitman County sheriff's office.

The sheriff's office says the four -- all 20 or 21 years old -- admitted Wednesday's egging and agreed to pay cleanup costs and write letters of apology to the dealership.

They also may be charged with trespassing and malicious mischief, says The Spokesman Review.


CR

[Gregoshi]

Quite. However you wouldn't want to tie the string too tight because we all know where that may lead. :shame:
Being well hung? :hanged:

[Crazed Rabbit]

Speaking of that...
http://www.wellhungmeat.com/


You'll never know until you try it! If you're one of those people who like the idea of having a home delivery of proper well hung meat, then this is for you!

CR

[Lemur]

Yet another strange sex story from Crazed Rabbit's neck of the woods.

Mary Kay Letourneau hosts 'Hot for Teacher' night at bar (http://www.palmbeachpost.com/opinion/content/shared-gen/ap/Feature_Stories/US_ODD_Hot_Teacher_Night.html?cxntlid=inform_sr)

SEATTLE — A teacher who became notorious in the 1990s for having an affair with a sixth-grader is hosting a "Hot for Teacher" night at a Seattle bar — along with the former student, now her husband. Bar owner Mike Morris said Mary Kay Letourneau has served her sentence and it's OK for the couple to have some fun.

The 47-year-old Letourneau served seven years in prison after pleading guilty in 1997 to raping Vili Fualaau, now 26. They met when Fualaau was in second grade and began their affair when he was 12 and she was a 34-year-old married mother of four. They were married in 2005 and have two daughters together.

Morris said Saturday's event at Fuel Sports Eats & Beats will be their third "Hot for Teacher" night. She greets people and he DJs.

[Lemur]

You know GameStop has a bad rep when even bees hate the place (http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/story?section=news/local&id=6828888)

"When I got here, there was already like a thousand bees in there ... then they came out ... there were more ... they were like—in a pack," said bee watcher Jay Lorenzo.

Thousands of bees—in a hive—in a building between 4th Avenue and Irving Place—and it was no joke to the employees here at GameStop. They were trapped inside their store. The sign in the window said, "temporarily closed, due to bee infestation."

"There's a hive ... inside the walls ... leading upward ... they say somebody's on the way, but they're taking a long time to get here," bee watcher Herman Leath said.

[InsaneApache]

Resistance is futile.

[Hooahguy]

whoa.... ive been in that Gamestop before....

[Lemur]

What has seven legs, two spines, and lives for ten minutes? (http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/articles/2009/05/23/20090523ODDseven-leggedcalf.html)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/PHP4A1851BB626D2.jpg
STEAMBOAT SPRINGS, Colo. - It's an unlucky No. 7 for a calf born with a few extra legs in Colorado.

The Steamboat Pilot & Today of Steamboat Springs reports that a veterinary hospital helped deliver a seven-legged calf Thursday.

The staff at the Steamboat Veterinary Hospital said the Black Angus calf, which was delivered by cesarean section, had two spines but one head. One leg also had two hooves.

The calf lived for only about 10 minutes.

Veterinarian Lee Meyring says the birth was an incomplete splitting of the embryo into twins.

He says he had previously seen a calf with a fifth leg, but the seven-legged calf was the most bizarre he has seen.

[Fragony]

Still being able to breakdance when you are 84?

way to go!

In the meantime cashing a disability-check?

olol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JbFz-Rwuec&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Espitsnieuws%2Enl%2Farchives%2Fmedia%2F2009%2F05%2Ftalent%5Ffred%5Fblijkt%5Ff raudeur%2Ehtml&feature=player_embedded

[Marshal Murat]

Hard Luck Montana Town seeks Gitmo Prisoners (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30377315/)

BILLINGS, Mont. - President Barack Obama has 240 terrorism suspects he has said will be moved out of Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, within a year. The city of Hardin has a brand-new empty jail.

A match made in heaven? Hardin officials think so; Montana's congressional delegation thinks not.

The development authority in Hardin, a city of 3,400 people bordering the Crow Indian Reservation, built the $27 million, 460-bed jail two years ago and has been looking for tenants ever since. Its construction loans are in default.

[Lemur]

Man uses live swan to beat victim (http://www.spiegel.de/international/zeitgeist/0,1518,627139,00.html)

A man grabbed a live swan by the neck and used it as a weapon to attack his opponent during an altercation by the bank of a river in Munich. Thankfully, the swan escaped unhurt. [...] The swan survived the attack unhurt and flew off afterwards. The assailant, named only as Sebastian P., was drunk at the time and was given a two-year suspended sentence.

[CountArach]

US School chooses openly gay male (http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=819560) as Prom 'Queen'

An openly gay teen has been voted prom queen at his Los Angeles high school in a campaign that began as a stunt but ended up spurring discussion on the campus about gender roles and popularity.

Sergio Garcia said he felt "invincible" when he was crowned queen of the Fairfax High School dance at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel on Saturday.

Prom is a formal spring dance that is a tradition for American high schools.

Days before the dance, Garcia told fellow students that he was "not your typical prom queen candidate. There's more to me than meets the eye."

He also promised that he would be wearing a suit on prom night, but "don't be fooled: Deep down, I am a queen."

And he made good of that promise on Saturday, wearing a grey tuxedo topped off with the prized tiara.

Garcia, 18, said he saw flyers advertising the prom and the election but they didn't specify that the queen must be female.

He thought the role would suit him better than prom king.

"I don't wish to be a girl," he told the Los Angeles Times. "I just wish to be myself."

[CountArach]

Gangster shoots himself in crotch (http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_3331974.html) when gun goes off half 'cocked'.

Would-be gangster shoots off own manhood

A would-be gangster shot himself in the crutch when his gun went off half cocked in his pocket.

Lukas Neuhardt, 27, had forgotten to put the safety catch on when he stuffed the gun into his trouser pocket to impress pals in Saarbruecken, Germany.

He told paramedics that a masked mugger had blasted him in the crutch in a bungled robbery.

But police found a hole in his statement when they saw that the gunshot had miraculously left his trousers intact.

"Instead there was a charred hole in his pocket so either it was the shot of the century or he did it himself," said a police source.

Now - after surgeons stitched his manhood back together - he's facing up to three years in jail for breaching Germany's tough new anti gun laws.

[Conqueror]

He wasn't just happy to see his pals that day.

[Banquo's Ghost]

"When I asked for a quick bang, that's not quite what I meant... (http://www.mosnews.com/weird/2009/05/25/1909/)"

[Gregoshi]

"When I asked for a quick bang, that's not quite what I meant... (http://www.mosnews.com/weird/2009/05/25/1909/)"
The cliche of fireworks going off as an innuendo for sex in the old movies and TV shows will never be the same...

[Crazed Rabbit]

I say, if she felt pain from that, she oughtn't be outside of a padded room. (http://www.ajc.com/news/content/shared-gen/ap/Feature_Stories/US_ODD_Unwanted_High_Five.html?cxntlid=thbz_hm)


Principal files complaint over missed high-five

EL PASO, Texas — What do you call a high-five that misses? Many would just call it awkward, but an El Paso school principal calls it assault. The misfire came last week when schools superintendent Lorenzo Garcia was giving principals high-fives while celebrating state test scores. When Garcia came to Barron Elementary School principal Mary Helen Lechuga and she didn't raise her hand, he tapped her on the head instead.

But Lechuga — a former district administrator who was recently demoted — filed a police complaint saying she felt pain and feared what he might do next.

Garcia said she's a disgruntled employee and her complaint is petty.

The El Paso Times reported Thursday that school district police are investigating.

CR

[Lemur]

I, for one, welcome our Belgian mutant cow overlords (http://www.divinecaroline.com/22063/75623-gigantic-belgian-monster-cows)

Originating in 19th century Belgium by crossing local cattle with British cattle, the Belgian Blue cattle are gigantic bovine wonders. Their enormous size and muscle mass, sometimes called "double muscling," is a naturally occurring mutation of the gene for myostatin, a protein that regulates muscle growth. This mutation results in accelerated lean muscle growth.


https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/1-3.jpg https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/6.jpg

[Marshal Murat]

That's some derriere

[Conqueror]

Big beef! :chef:

[Gregoshi]

That's some derriere
Um, on the cow or the model?

[Crazed Rabbit]

Police in Sandusky arrest a man for mowing the unkempt grass (http://www.sanduskyregister.com/articles/2009/05/29/front/doc4a201f025281e192098860.txt) at a city park and charge him with a crime.


John Hamilton plans to fight the charges against him.

Authorities arrested Hamilton at 8:30 a.m. Thursday as the 48-year-old mowed the foot-high grass at Central Park. Police charged the Sunset Drive resident with obstructing official business and persistent disorderly conduct.

He pleaded not guilty at his Sandusky Municipal Court arraignment this morning. His next hearing is scheduled for August.

:dizzy2:

The Virginia DMV bans smiling: (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/05/27/AR2009052703627.html)


Few places in Virginia are as draining to the soul and as numbing to the buttocks as the branch offices of the Department of Motor Vehicles. And yet, until recently, smiling was still permitted there.

No more. As part of the DMV's effort to develop super-secure driver's licenses and foolproof identification cards, the agency has issued a smile ban, directing customers to adopt a "neutral expression" in their portraits, thereby extinguishing whatever happiness comes with finally hearing one's number called.

The driver's license photo, it seems, is destined to look like a mug shot.

DMV officials say the smile ban is for a good cause. The agency would like to develop a facial recognition system that could compare customers' photographs over time to prevent fraud and identity theft. "The technology works best when the images are similar," said DMV spokeswoman Pam Goheen. "To prepare for the possibility of future security enhancements, we're asking customers to maintain a neutral expression."

At a Manassas DMV branch yesterday, that translated to a simple directive: "Don't smile."

That's exactly what a DMV attendant told Manassas resident Maria Quispe when she sat down against the white backdrop and attempted to look happy for the photo she would be carrying around for much of the next eight years.

"Say cheese," said her stepdaughter, Alexandra Lopez.

"No cheese today," the DMV attendant said.

The shutter clicked, and the attendant consulted a computer monitor, then shook her head disapprovingly.

Quispe's teeth had been visible. Strike one. "Your mouth was open," the attendant said.

Quispe's second attempt turned out sufficiently dull. "It's going to be so ugly," Quispe said afterward. "This is like being in the Army!"
...
"It makes everyone look like criminals," said Arthur Freeman, 18, who needed no prompting to appear unhappy after waiting two hours for a motorcycle license. "I don't usually smile for these pictures anyway."

Nearby, 19-year-old Robert Nuckols, also of Manassas, returned to the waiting area after posing for his learner's permit photo. "We're at the DMV," he said. "Why would we smile?"

Nuckols said that when he took off his hat and sat down in front of the camera for his photo, the attendant directed him to look at a specific spot on the lens, between a pair of stickers. The stickers were smiley faces.
:dizzy2:

CR

[seireikhaan]

The Virginia DMV bans smiling: (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/05/27/AR2009052703627.html)


:dizzy2:

CR
That one needs to be taken to the Supreme court if necessary. I can see it now- "And in the case of Virginia vs Smiling..."

[Lemur]

Giant mutant pig shot for 'eating a cow' (http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574,25567355-29277,00.html)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/0665170500.jpg

The Sunday Times has confirmed that the pig was shot on a Pilbara cattle station near Newman, 1200km northeast of Perth.

Sources close to the family of the man in the photo have confirmed he is Pilbara pastoralist John Anick and the picture was taken on his property three years ago.

The family refused to talk about the giant boar earlier, for fear that illegal pig hunters would flock to the area.

The source said the 220kg beast was eating a cow when it was first seen by workers mustering cattle in a helicopter.

Mr Anick saw it again on a trip to check windmills on the property and shot it.

[Hosakawa Tito]

I wonder if the sausage tasted like beef?

[Hosakawa Tito]

For that special person in your life...anal bling bling! (http://carnalnation.com/content/6766/3/woman-who-has-everything-anal-jewelry)

[Hosakawa Tito]

Mom said there would be days like this (http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2003/01/16/national/main536740.shtml).

[Gregoshi]

For that special person in your life...anal bling bling! (http://carnalnation.com/content/6766/3/woman-who-has-everything-anal-jewelry)
When being born with a silver spoon in your mouth just doesn't quite say it all...

[Banquo's Ghost]

Stern father leaves young man hacked off. (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/06/01/dad_says_no/)

[Hooahguy]

Susan Boyle Reportedly Hospitalized (http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1612975/20090531/story.jhtml)

Following a tumultuous week in which some doubted whether she would even make it to Saturday night's finale due to the pressures of instant fame, "Britain's Got Talent" runner-up Susan Boyle was reportedly admitted to a mental-health clinic after suffering an "emotional breakdown."

[Hosakawa Tito]

You gotta be :daisy: me. (http://www.cnn.com/2009/TECH/06/02/penguin.satellite.images/index.html?eref=rss_topstories)

Watch out where the penquins go, and don't you eat that yellow snow. Now I got that Zappa tune in my head.:laugh4:

[Crazed Rabbit]

Driving in Idaho: It's an experience. (http://www.ktvb.com/news/localnews/stories/ktvbn-jun0209-road_rage_boise.407a2987.html)


According to police, the young man driving the Kia called dispatch to report he was being followed by a woman in a red GMC Sonoma pickup. He said the woman had cut him off, yelled obscenities at him, and was throwing coins and ranch dressing at his car. He tried to get away, but she continued to follow him.

The dispatcher told the man to drive to the parking lot of St. Alphonsus, which was nearby, to meet an officer. When he pulled into the parking lot, the driver of the pickup rammed the Kia at least three to four times, according to witnesses.

Police say the Kia was heavily damaged with numerous dents that appeared to be caused by coins thrown at the car, the rear bumper of the car was falling off, and the taillights were falling out. The Kia's sides and trunk also had spots of ranch dressing that had apparently been thrown by the driver of the pickup.

CR

[Marshal Murat]

New Zealand most peaceful country (http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2009/jun/03/new-zealand-rated-most-peaceful-us-83rd/)


Americans pining for a peaceful existence might consider moving to New Zealand, the most peaceful nation on Earth, according to the 2009 Global Peace Index released Tuesday by an Australian-based research group that counts former President Jimmy Carter, Ted Turner and the Dalai Lama among its endorsers.

I refuse to believe these results. Aussies are seriously suggesting Kiwis are...more peaceful? No self-respecting Aussie would do so, and hence these results are faulty.

[Vladimir]

On the flip side: http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/local/baltimore_city/bal-homicides0602,0,1681333.story

[Gregoshi]

On the flip side: http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/local/baltimore_city/bal-homicides0602,0,1681333.story
And the murderers will all flee to New Zealand. The Aussies aren't stupid. :laugh4:

[CountArach]

New Zealand most peaceful country (http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2009/jun/03/new-zealand-rated-most-peaceful-us-83rd/)

I refuse to believe these results. Aussies are seriously suggesting Kiwis are...more peaceful? No self-respecting Aussie would do so, and hence these results are faulty.
I dunno. Most Kiwis are pretty soft.

[naut]

I dunno. Most Kiwis are pretty soft.
Not to mention fluffy...

[Husar]

http://www.invadenewzealand.com/

[Vladimir]

http://www.invadenewzealand.com/

That gets Vladimir's :2thumbsup: award.

[Lemur]

Man arrested for buying drugs with slaughtered pig (http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/06/06/ap/strange/main5067203.shtml)

Syracuse police say a 45-year-old man offered a slaughtered pig as partial payment for a bag of crack cocaine. [...] Police say Colon paid half a pig and $10 for a $50 bag of crack. Veliz told police the pig was for a celebration for a relative being released from jail.

While officers were arresting the suspects, someone took the pig.

[miotas]

http://www.invadenewzealand.com/

Pfft. If you're gunna go to all the trouble of an invasion you need a good reason (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8Q36-9UUQE&feature=related)

[Fragony]

We have a cricket-team? wtf? Anyways

HOLLAND HOLLAND HOLLAND

http://www.dumpert.nl/mediabase/525791/ef4916b2/cricket_wij_zijn_de_beste_.html

that got to hurt

[InsaneApache]

Aye well done the Netherlands.

It's the equivalent of Brazil losing to Andorra at footy. :)

[miotas]

Those crazy Brits have been buying some interesting lawnmowers (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/earthnews/5306595/Gardeners-buy-wallabies-as-lawnmowers.html)

WTF?

[InsaneApache]

We have a cricket-team? wtf? Anyways

HOLLAND HOLLAND HOLLAND

http://www.dumpert.nl/mediabase/525791/ef4916b2/cricket_wij_zijn_de_beste_.html

that got to hurt

Just found this...


The ECB said the English squad reported feeling 'odd' before the game, after eating a basket of complimentary muffins sent by the Dutch side.

A spokesman added: "Once they'd been finished them, they ordered three dozen doughnuts and a load of bacon sandwiches.

"By the coin toss, half of them were discussing what an amazing colour James Foster's car was and the other half were still in the pavilion, pissing themselves laughing at a SpongeBob SquarePants DVD."

roflmfao. :o)

[CountArach]

Just found this...
Oh that's just a half-baked excuse.

[naut]

Oh that's just a half-baked excuse.
Hehehe.

[InsaneApache]

In other news David Blunkett has been attacked by a mad cow. No, not Harriden Harperson, a real dairy cow.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/8089498.stm

He wants to watch where he's going that bloke. :P

[Gregoshi]

"The best thing to do is to let the dog off the lead so it can run away because obviously a dog can run faster than you," she said.
"The next thing to do is to get quite quickly to the edge of the field, collect the dog and leave."

Great advice. All easily done by a blind person.

[Fragony]

riots in Israel

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v494/Fragony/CHASGP477.jpg

[rasoforos]

In other news David Blunkett has been attacked by a mad cow. No, not Harriden Harperson, a real dairy cow.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/8089498.stm

He wants to watch where he's going that bloke. :P


We should give cows voting rights. This brave cow is obviously more politicaly mature than your average voter.

[Hosakawa Tito]

The cow wasn't mad, just upset. Don't you Brits have to be careful tossing a term like "mad cow" about?

[InsaneApache]

What is the motto of the French navy? (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wVrq6K9LpI&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fobotheclown%2Eblogspot%2Ecom%2F&feature=player_embedded)

Ba-bum-tish!

:o)

[Hooahguy]

What is the motto of the French navy? (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wVrq6K9LpI&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fobotheclown%2Eblogspot%2Ecom%2F&feature=player_embedded)

Ba-bum-tish!

:o)
i dont get it :(

[KukriKhan]

i dont get it :(

Sounds like: "...'allo sailor".

----------------------
It's right up there with the old bar-pun:
"If you're American when you go to the men's room, and you're American when you come back... what are you when you're IN the Men's Room?"

[KukriKhan]

The cow wasn't mad, just upset. Don't you Brits have to be careful tossing a term like "mad cow" about?

Mad or contented, some folks think their total output is a problem (http://www.treehugger.com/files/2009/02/cadburys-methane-emissions.php) that needs solving.


Farmed ruminant animals are thought to be responsible for up to a quarter of "man-made" methane emissions worldwide though, contrary to common belief, most gas emerges from their front, not rear ends.

I'm old enough to remember the derisive laughter that ensued when Reagan suggested this.

[Louis VI the Fat]

What is the motto of the French navy? (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wVrq6K9LpI&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fobotheclown%2Eblogspot%2Ecom%2F&feature=player_embedded)

Ba-bum-tish!

:o)Zis begs for revanche!


What is the plural of 'un petit beurre'? It's des touioux!
'Un petit beurre des touioux
Un petit beurre des touioux
Un petit beurre des Apache
Un petit beurre des touioux!'

Hint:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXP08-BbgK0&feature=related




~~-~~-~~<<o0o>>~~-~~-~~




"If you're American when you go to the men's room, and you're American when you come back... what are you when you're IN the Men's Room?"
Un Yank qui oui oui. https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/images/icons/icon10.gif *


*Now that should get me a Nobel prize. Really.

[KukriKhan]

*Now that should get me a Nobel prize. Really.

Oui. Oui.

https://jimcee.homestead.com/nobelllogo-160.gif

[naut]

Tadpole Rain. (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/5491846/Sky-rains-tadpoles-over-Japan.html)


As rainy season approaches, Japan’s Ishikawa prefecture has been receiving some unusual precipitation — it’s been raining tadpoles.


https://img504.imageshack.us/img504/9409/tadpolerain1.jpg

[Hosakawa Tito]

The Entrepreneurial Spirit!
In a nondescript building next to a mosque in downtown Karachi, Pakistan, the Qadeer brothers discreetly make and market a million dollars' worth of fetish and bondage products a year for Americans and Europeans (through sales to stores and on eBay). In fact, if the radical Islamic office down the street knew about the Qadeers' work, they might be in trouble, according to an April New York Times dispatch, but fortunately, the gag balls, corsets and whips such as the "Mistress Flogger" are so odd for Pakistan that even the veiled women who sew them for the Qadeers do not understand that Americans use them for sex play. Customs officials, for example, were puzzled about how to categorize the items for tax purposes. "If our mom knew (the nature of our business)," said brother Adnan, "she would disown us." [New York Times, 4-28-09]

[Lemur]

14-year-old hit by meteorite, survives (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/scienceandtechnology/science/space/5511619/14-year-old-hit-by-30000-mph-space-meteorite.html)

Gerrit Blank, 14, was on his way to school when he saw "ball of light" heading straight towards him from the sky. A red hot, pea-sized piece of rock then hit his hand before bouncing off and causing a foot wide crater in the ground.

The teenager survived the strike, the chances of which are just 1 in a million — but with a nasty three-inch long scar on his hand.

He said: "At first I just saw a large ball of light, and then I suddenly felt a pain in my hand. "Then a split second after that there was an enormous bang like a crash of thunder."

"The noise that came after the flash of light was so loud that my ears were ringing for hours afterwards. "When it hit me it knocked me flying and then was still going fast enough to bury itself into the road," he explained.

[Gregoshi]

14-year-old hit by meteorite, survives (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/scienceandtechnology/science/space/5511619/14-year-old-hit-by-30000-mph-space-meteorite.html)
And that is how Gerrit Blank became...Meteor Boy, the next great super hero.

[InsaneApache]

Stay tuned. Same time. Same channel.

Now here's a word from our sponsor.....

*Cue Twilight Zone with Rod Serling*

do-do-do-do.....

[KukriKhan]

"Bouncing off" his hand, then creating a crater. Somehow, those two events don't go together.

Hmmm...

I've been to Essen. Maybe the drinking water there makes their skin armour-clad. I remember the local bier being pretty strong stuff.

[Lemur]

I expect the phrasing is misleading. There is no way a 30,000 mph meteor is going to bounce off a hand. More likely it grazed his hand at an angle before burying itself in the road.

[Husar]

No, you're all wrong, I also live in Essen and it's pretty normal for meteors to bounce off peoples' heads and then destroy a housing complex but usually noone gets hurt.

[Marshal Murat]

Iowa woman discovers a new cloud, some cloud nerds interested. (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/06/12/iowa-woman-discovers-new-_n_214752.html)


Looking out the 11th floor window of her law office, Jane Wiggins did a double take and grabbed her camera. The dark, undulating clouds hovering outside were unlike anything she'd seen before.


"They (the clouds) were the first ones that I noted of this type and I was unsure which category to put them under," said Pretor-Pinney, author of "The Cloudspotter's Guide." "When we put pictures up online we list the category, and I wasn't sure how to categorize it."

[Lemur]

Alaska's Rat Island finally rat-free, after only 229 years! (http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSTRE55D0GG20090614?rpc=64)

Alaska's Rat Island is finally rat-free, 229 years after a Japanese shipwreck spilled rampaging rodents onto the remote Aleutian island, decimating the local bird population.

After dropping poison onto the island from helicopter-hoisted buckets for a week and a half last autumn, there are no signs of living rats and some birds have returned, according to the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service. [...]

Now there are signs that several species of birds, including Aleutian cackling geese, ptarmigan, peregrine falcons and black oystercatchers, are starting to nest again on the 10-square-mile (26-sq-km) island.

It is too soon to say that Rat Island is definitively rat-free, however. That can only be established after at least two years of monitoring, said Bruce Woods, a spokesman for the Fish and Wildlife Service in Anchorage.

"We don't know that there's not a couple of happy rats hiding away that are going to spring out and repopulate the island," he said.

[Crazed Rabbit]

The Man Who Likes to be a Carpet: (http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/14/fashion/14carpet.html?_r=1&adxnnl=1&adxnnlx=1244999501-2y6Otqs9ulDW/q9uLFfr7g)

http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2009/06/14/fashion/14carpet190.1.jpg

Bartender, Make It a Stiletto

By KIRK SEMPLE
Published: June 12, 2009

A MAN walks into a bar. He’s carrying a carpet under his arm. He wraps himself in the carpet, lies on the floor, covers his face and waits for people to step on him. A sign taped to the bar reads: “Step on carpet.”

EVERY ROUND IS ON HIM A couple step on Georgio. Don’t be shy. “The more people who pile on, the better,” he says.

People step on the carpet — dozens, in fact. The more people who step on the carpet, particularly if they are women in heels, the happier the man is. Some are timid, others are audacious. Some dance on the man. Some step on him while ordering their drinks, completely unaware that a live body is underfoot. Some just stand there, frozen, looking totally freaked out.

Four hours later, the man slips out from beneath his carpet, folds it up, tucks it under his arm and heads home. “It was a nice party,” he says cheerily, as if he were talking about something far more ordinary, like, say, a backyard barbecue.
:dizzy2:
Also, an exciting new toilet product from...Japan! (http://www.japantrendshop.com/pee-without-noise-stool-p-558.html)

http://japantrendshop.com/pictures/pee-without-noise-stool-explanation.jpg
:inquisitive:
CR

[Viking]

No, you're all wrong, I also live in Essen and it's pretty normal for meteors to bounce off peoples' heads and then destroy a housing complex but usually noone gets hurt.

I don't know about Essen, but I heard that the comet/asteroid that killed the dinosaurs first struck the tail of a Stegosaurus, then jumped into the top of a palm tree; got reflected and hit the ground whereupon it created a crater 180 km in diameter, and vaporized thousands of tonnes of material. Makes perfect sense.

Btw, not the first dubious "young German boy does something extraordinary astronomy related"-story.

[Louis VI the Fat]

Obama and 'petit Nicolas' seeing eye to eye:


https://img188.imageshack.us/img188/4998/sarko.png (https://img188.imageshack.us/i/sarko.png/)


('Little Nicolas': http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Petit_nicolas (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Petit_nicolas))

[KukriKhan]

Also, an exciting new toilet product from...Japan! (http://www.japantrendshop.com/pee-without-noise-stool-p-558.html)

http://japantrendshop.com/pictures/pee-without-noise-stool-explanation.jpg
:inquisitive:
CR

I'll do a lot for the Porcelain Goddess; kneeling on pink kneelers to make my offering is a step too far, though.

[Crazed Rabbit]

The World Stinging Nettle Eating Championship (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/5525806/World-Stinging-Nettle-Eating-Championship-attracts-record-crowd.html).

The beginnings of the contest:

"One of them said, 'I'll eat any nettle of yours that's longer than mine"' said Rory Macleod, 34, the pub landlord. "And so they had a competition. They're both dead now.

Also, insightful comments from the crowd:

"There are some events you just have to be at," said Harry Kinsella, 23, a trainee solicitor from Kettering.

"I've always liked nettles. When I was at university we had a nude stinging nettle rolling competition and it was the best thing ever, although this may be even better."

CR

[rasoforos]

They do make excellent pie when cooked though

[Lemur]

Swiss Cows Fight to be Queen (http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/06/14/ap/strange/main5087532.shtml)

Furie and Cigale eye each other warily, take a step forward and lock horns.

It's an ancient ritual, one that plays out each summer high in the Swiss Alps, as cows battle to be queen and villagers come to watch.

Judges record every fight as spectators sit on the surrounding mountainside, sipping local wines and cheering their family herd. But it is the cows who choose who to fight and who will reign supreme at the end of the season. [...]

There is no prize money for the winner, but owners can fetch a handsome price — up to $30,000 (euro21,000) — if they choose to sell a queen.

Most important, says local Albert Salamin, is the respect.

The winner's owner is "king of the village for the year. He's more respected than the mayor," Salamin says.

[Hosakawa Tito]

I always wondered why they call it Yellowstone. Two workers at Yellowstone National Park were fired in May after being caught on surveillance video urinating into the Old Faithful geyser. [MSNBC-AP, 5-14-09]

The Puppet Master. Timothy Martin, 44, was arrested in Federal Way, Wash., in May for felony indecent exposure after he was spotted standing partially nude with a string attached to his penis and, according to police, apparently "manipulating it with the string like a puppet." [Seattle Post-Intelligencer, 5-20-09]


Like...Hey...Bow-wow, man... (http://www.king5.com/topstories/stories/NW_061009WAB-dog-pot-park-KC.6b862fc4.html)

[Lemur]

The Puppet Master. Timothy Martin, 44, was arrested in Federal Way, Wash., in May for felony indecent exposure after he was spotted standing partially nude with a string attached to his penis and, according to police, apparently "manipulating it with the string like a puppet." [Seattle Post-Intelligencer, 5-20-09]
You gotta get up a lot earlier in the morning if you want to find a man-uses-penis-as-puppet story that I'm not all over (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showpost.php?p=2243462&postcount=3603).

[Hosakawa Tito]

You gotta get up a lot earlier in the morning if you want to find a man-uses-penis-as-puppet story that I'm not all over (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showpost.php?p=2243462&postcount=3603).

DOH! If you shake that puppet more than once you're playing with it.:laugh4:

[Hosakawa Tito]

I bet she's platinum blonde (http://www.wausaudailyherald.com/article/20090605/WDH0101/906050590/1981&located=RSS).

[InsaneApache]

You did what to the dog! (http://newsvote.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8101818.stm) :dizzy2:

[KukriKhan]

You did what to the dog! (http://newsvote.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8101818.stm) :dizzy2:

Puppy's new name:

https://jimcee.homestead.com/drano.jpeg

[Hosakawa Tito]

In before da Lemur. Great Art. (http://www.smh.com.au/news/entertainment/arts/shock-of-the-nudes/2009/06/08/1244313079993.html)

[InsaneApache]

Two Royal Navy sailors from HMS Manchester have appeared in court in Chile for stealing a life-size statue from a McDonald's restaurant.

A judge at the court in Valparaiso fined the pair £350 for damage to a plastic figure of Ronald McDonald, said a Ministry of Defence (MoD) spokesman.

HMS Manchester had arrived in the Chilean port on Monday and the sailors were arrested later that day.

The MoD said: "As far as I am aware they threw the statue in the harbour." :laugh4:

The spokesman added: "The sailors in question are now back on board HMS Manchester.

"They have formally apologised to McDonald's for the incident.

"The Navy does not condone unlawful activity."

HMS Manchester is currently in Chile on exercise with the French, Brazilian and Chilean Navies.

The Ronald McDonald statue was dumped in the harbour in Valparaiso


Until Monday the crew had been on an eight-week patrol in the South Atlantic and is due to return to the UK in August.

When in the UK the ship is based in Portsmouth, where many of the crew live.

A source in Chile told BBC News: "The story has had considerable coverage here in Chile, being featured on local television and radio.

"Most Chileans have laughed at the pair's antics."

The vessel, which is the third to carry the City of Manchester name and coat of arms on its funnel, had been in service since 1980.

In 2006 the crew of HMS Manchester were given the honour of the freedom of Manchester.

http://newsvote.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/manchester/8106103.stm

[Marshal Murat]

California's Novel Idea to save Millions in Welfare (http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-calworks17-2009jun17,0,6294929.story)


With steep state budget cuts under debate in Sacramento, Los Angeles County supervisors voted Tuesday to push for changes to CalWorks and other government aid programs they said would save nearly $270 million.

Included in their suggestions is a novel proposal: Put unemployed parents to work caring for their own children.

[Crazed Rabbit]

"Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. I would like to...ghhak...urk...blecgh..."*thud* (http://wcbstv.com/breakingnewsalerts/continental.pilot.dies.2.1049850.html)


A Continental Airlines flight from Brussels has landed safely at Newark Liberty International Airport after the plane's captain died mid-flight Thursday morning, CBS 2 has learned.

Federal Aviation Administration officials say Continental Flight 61, a Boeing 777 with 247 passengers on board, landed at Newark at 11:49 a.m. Newark was the flight's final destination. The plane departed Brussels at 9:45 a.m., and the captain died about three to four hours into the flight. A doctor on board pronounced the pilot dead.

Continental officials tell CBS 2 the 61-year-old pilot died of natural causes. His identity has not yet been released, but officials say he worked for the company for 21 years and was based out of Newark.

CR

[Marshal Murat]

Belgium, you will pay. If he hadn't been flying from Brussels, this wouldn't have happened.

[Lemur]

Strange Russian creature (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVGEOn4c5TU) brings news from our Octosquid invaders. Do any Orgahs know what the heck that this is?

[InsaneApache]

Looks like the template for a Cardassian battlecruiser.

[drone]

Strange Russian creature (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVGEOn4c5TU) brings news from our Octosquid invaders. Do any Orgahs know what the heck that this is?

Looks like a cross between a horseshoe crab and a facehugger. :inquisitive:

[Marshal Murat]

horseshoe crab and a facehugger.
Ultimate STD = Face Crabs

[Lemur]

Staying with the theme of biological horror for a moment:

Scientists show bacteria can learn and plan ahead (http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/06/090617131400.htm)

Bacteria can anticipate a future event and prepare for it, according to new research at the Weizmann Institute of Science. In a paper that appeared June 17 in Nature, Prof. Yitzhak Pilpel, doctoral student Amir Mitchell and research associate Dr. Orna Dahan of the Institute's Molecular Genetics Department, together with Prof. Martin Kupiec and Gal Romano of Tel Aviv University, examined microorganisms living in environments that change in predictable ways.

[Gregoshi]

Strange Russian creature (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVGEOn4c5TU) brings news from our Octosquid invaders. Do any Orgahs know what the heck that this is?
Probably dead by now, that's what it is.

Or the tadpole stage of the aliens from Independence Day.

[Viking]

Strange Russian creature (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVGEOn4c5TU) brings news from our Octosquid invaders. Do any Orgahs know what the heck that this is?

Well, the title says it is a Triops.

[Fragony]

Whatever it is, one is enough :dizzy2:

[Crazed Rabbit]

"Twilight" movie star gets hit by a taxi (http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUSTRE55I0M720090619) fleeing teenage girl fans.


NEW YORK (Reuters) - "Twilight" star Robert Pattinson was hit by a taxi in New York as he tried to run away from a crowd of hysterical teenage fans, but he was not seriously injured, U.S. media reported.

Pattinson, 23, who stars in the hit teenage vampire movies, was clipped on the hip in front a bookstore in Manhattan where he was shooting scenes on Thursday for his new film, "Remember Me," a drama about two young lovers dealing with family tragedies.

Flanked by five security guards, the British actor tried to run past a group of teenage girls who had gathered outside the bookstore and cross the street to his trailer when the accident happened.

CR

[CountArach]

"Twilight" movie star gets hit by a taxi (http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUSTRE55I0M720090619) fleeing teenage girl fans.



CR
This just made the whole Internet's day :2thumbsup:

[Fragony]

YES!!!! Nature is doing great!!!! After decades of blissfull ignorance we can now celebrate the return of the Lamprey. Just what I needed, a meter long vampire fish hanging from me when I exit the water. Which I would have to enter first. Which I am not. Disgusting

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d0/Boca_de_lamprea.1_-_Aquarium_Finisterrae.JPG

[Beskar]

Fragony, why did you post a picture of a shower head?

[Fragony]

You obviously unerestimate the severity of the situation. It is wonderful we have wild bobcats again and wild wolves are expected to cross borders next year. Wonderful.

BUT THESE THINGS. DEAR GOD GET IT OF ME

[Viking]

Nutty squirrel meets equally nutty builder.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/8108297.stm?lsf

[miotas]

"Twilight" movie star gets hit by a taxi (http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUSTRE55I0M720090619) fleeing teenage girl fans.

CR

:laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4:
:laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4:
:laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4:
:laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4:
:laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4:

Cheers CR, I needed a good laugh :laugh4:

My sister is 14, she's going to be devastated :laugh4:

[Husar]

Which I would have to enter first. Which I am not.

I've been thinking that ever since I've seen dozens of jellyfish lying around on a dutch beach...

[Fragony]

I've been thinking that ever since I've seen dozens of jellyfish lying around on a dutch beach...

Wouldn't go too far into the sea, which would be above the waist, unless your idea of a good time is washing ashore in Denmark. It's filled with vicious currents, tourists often don't know about that.

[Louis VI the Fat]

Strange Russian creature (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVGEOn4c5TU) brings news from our Octosquid invaders. Do any Orgahs know what the heck that this is?That looks like a notostraca. These animals have a unique claim to fame: it is the oldest extant animal species on earth. It has been around pretty much forever. They are also bisexual.

Problem is though...they are supposed to be tiny, the size of a fingernail, not a meter long. If these giant homosexual notostracas have teamed up with the octosquids the situation is far worse than we expected. :skull:

[Lemur]

String of Tampon Machine Thefts (http://www.statenews.com/index.php/article/2009/06/string_of_tampon_machine_thefts_hit_msu)

A heavy flow of break-ins and thefts from feminine-hygiene dispensers across campus led MSU Police to launch an investigation.

A total of six break-ins and thefts were reported to MSU Police between June 1-12, amounting to at least $7.50 in stolen change, MSU police Sgt. Florene McGlothian-Taylor said. The incidents have targeted women’s restrooms in buildings across campus, including the Chemistry Building, Human Ecology Building and the Computer Center.

Thefts from feminine-hygiene dispensers have been spotty in the past, she said.

[InsaneApache]

It's a bloody cheek.

[miotas]

String...

A heavy flow...

:rolleyes:

Could you get any cheesier lemur? :laugh4:

[Lemur]

You missed a few, miotas. Spotty work.

[Louis VI the Fat]

You missed a few, miotas. Spotty work.Yeah, even I noticed you inserted a lot of them.

[Lemur]

First Twitter Death Confirmed (http://www.austriantimes.at/index.php?id=14023)

A teenage girl was electrocuted after dropping her laptop into the bath as she twittered in the tub.

Police said they believed Maria Barbu, 17, had tried to plug in her laptop with wet hands after the battery died during a long session on social networking site Twitter as she took a soak at her home in Brasov, central Romania.

She was found dead by her parents with the laptop lying next to her.

[Crazed Rabbit]

String of Tampon Machine Thefts (http://www.statenews.com/index.php/article/2009/06/string_of_tampon_machine_thefts_hit_msu)


That's a cheap story, Lemur.

CR

[Lemur]

Oklahoma Woman Skins Puppy for Belt (http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2009-06-19-skinned-puppy-charges_N.htm?csp=34)

MUSKOGEE, Oklahoma — A 23-year-old woman who got a friend to kill her Jack Russell terrier was charged with skinning the puppy to make a belt out of its hide.

Krystal Lynn Lewis and Austin Michael Mullins, 26, were being held Friday in the Muskogee County jail on $25,000 bail each. They were charged with one felony count of cruelty to animals. [...]

Mullins shot the terrier 10 times with a .22-caliber pistol. Lewis skinned the animal at her apartment and nailed the hide to a board.

[Fragony]

Mullins shot the terrier 10 times with a .22-caliber pistol. Lewis skinned the animal at her apartment and nailed the hide to a board.

Good thinking, belt already has the holes.

[Samurai Waki]

10 times? That guy must have been a terrible shot.

[Viking]

Weightless wedding



https://img3.imageshack.us/img3/2966/090621wedding02.jpg

http://www.space.com/news/090620-zerog-wedding.html

[miotas]

Well, at least the bride wouldn't have to worry about losing weight for the wedding

[Marshal Murat]

Bride:Mom, I just had the worst wedding ever!
Mother: Why is that honey?
Bride: We went up in this plane in zero-gravity and all, and we had the ceremony, and it was absolutely horrible!
Mother:That sounds absolutely romantic.
Bride:Not when I found out I have the gravitational pull of a small moon!
Mother:That's not a moon, that's the Death Star!

[Lemur]

Llama v. child. Llama wins.

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/Llama_v_child.jpg

[Viking]

Giant sperm


A human sperm would have to be over 17 meters long in order to measure up against one group of modern ostracods, whose sperm are up to ten times as big as the animals themselves. Roughly 34,000 of the 50 micron-long human sperm would have to line up to match the body length of a man (of 1,70m).

also known..


A human sperm would have to be 40 meters long in order to measure up against Drosophila bifurca, for example: the males of this fruit-fly are only a few millimeters in size, but produce giant sperm around six centimeters long.

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/06/090618144002.htm

[naut]

Publicity and Exposure; Similar, yet Different (http://www.themercury.com.au/article/2009/06/22/80255_todays-news.html)


AFL Tasmania and Clarence Football club are investigating the incident involving Clarence reserves player Tim Orchard.

Orchard was filmed exposing his penis in the background as senior player Ben Setchell was being interviewed live on ABC TV in the changerooms after Clarence's win over South Launceston at Bellerive Oval on Saturday.

[Banquo's Ghost]

AFL Tasmania and Clarence Football club are investigating the incident involving Clarence reserves player Tim Orchard.

It's important that they tackle this.

[CountArach]

It's important that they tackle this.
I'm sure they've got a firm hold and that they are on the ball.

[FactionHeir]

Woman meets cow (http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/europe/06/22/uk.cows.trampling/index.html)

[Louis VI the Fat]

I'm sure they've got a firm hold and that they are on the ball.I'm not so sure. When the fly-half is down, the scrotum-half is always exposed.


Bah, there must be a great pun in there, but I can't quite nail it. :shame:

[Pannonian]

I'm not so sure. When the fly-half is down, the scrotum-half is always exposed.


Bah, there must be a great pun in there, but I can't quite nail it. :shame:
My favourite rugby pun was about John Hopoate (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Hopoate).

"Crouching Tiger, Hidden Finger".

[Pannonian]

You obviously unerestimate the severity of the situation. It is wonderful we have wild bobcats again and wild wolves are expected to cross borders next year. Wonderful.

BUT THESE THINGS. DEAR GOD GET IT OF ME
DEAR GOD, GET IT OUT OF ME (http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,24353334-5012895,00.html).

[Viking]

A few days old now.


Norwegian girl dragged 4 km under car, survives

OSLO (Reuters) - A 13-year-old Norwegian girl is in hospital with serious injuries after a bizarre road accident in which she was dragged 4 km under a car before being discovered, still conscious, and rescued, police said on Friday.

The girl was probably first hit by a truck, then run over by passenger car which followed it, getting stuck underneath.

"She has serious injuries but is stable," an official from the Oslo hospital to which she was taken told Reuters.


http://in.reuters.com/article/entertainmentNews/idINIndia-40453720090619

[Crazed Rabbit]

Pacific Northwest News:
First, the classiness; (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090623/ap_on_fe_st/us_odd_nail_spat)

A teenage girl who balked at paying for a set of inch-long, pumpkin-orange fake fingernails in a dispute at a Mount Vernon nail salon said a nail technician grabbed her and tried to pry the nails off. The 48-year-old technician told the Skagit Valley Herald that the dispute was strictly verbal.

The technician said she and the customer argued over the design on the girl's nails and the girl tried to leave without paying.

Once a police officer arrived, the 13-year-old girl and her mother agreed to pay $10. The technician said the nails and her labor were worth about $30.

In BC, the naked man from the silver van strikes!

A customer at a Wendy's Restaurant in Langley, B.C., filed a complaint with local police this weekend after a naked man made off with her French fries at the drive-through window.

The woman was waiting for her food in the drive-through window around 9:30 p.m. Saturday night when a nude thief ran between the car and the window and stole her food, according to Cst. Holly Marks of the Langley RCMP.

The man then jumped into a silver van and sped away.

:dizzy2:

CR

[Conqueror]

"Would you like some fries with your stripper?"

[Banquo's Ghost]

Possibly the unkindest cut of all. (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1195008/Is-embarrassing-mugshot-Drug-dealer-arrested-nipping-barbershop-mid-visit-deal.html)

[Vladimir]

Shhh! They're listening (http://news.bbc.co.uk/earth/hi/earth_news/newsid_8095000/8095977.stm). :sneaky:

[InsaneApache]

Now this is really weird. Banquos ghost reads the Daily Mail. :laugh4:

[Louis VI the Fat]

The French national rugby team is touring New Zealand!


In-between the games, three French Rugby players got attacked, one beaten into hospital by....two New Zealand girls.

:shame::shame::shame::shame::shame::shame:



http://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/rugby/news/2531228/Police-narrow-search-in-French-player-attack

[naut]

Watch this Space... (http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_3373282.html?menu=)

https://img155.imageshack.us/img155/2352/1510387.jpg

[Crazed Rabbit]

A Russian woman, (http://www.news.com.au/perthnow/story/0,21598,25658928-948,00.html) described variously as 'hot' and 'good looking' drugged and raped ten (or more!) men:

A YOUNG Russian woman, a devoted collector of horror films and spiders, is on trial for sedating and raping 10 men.
The police were shocked that 32-year-old Valeria K., a quiet good-looking woman from the city of Tambov, was the mysterious rapist who abused 10 local men after poisoning them with clonidine, Life.ru reports.
:inquisitive::dizzy2::embarassed::sweatdrop::no: :shame:

CR

[Lemur]

More from Mother Russia: A sporting cruise, with the most deadly prey ...

Luxury yachts offer pirate hunting cruises (http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_3374702.html?menu=news.quirkies)

Luxury ocean liners in Russia are offering pirate hunting cruises aboard armed private yachts off the Somali coast. Wealthy punters pay £3,500 per day to patrol the most dangerous waters in the world hoping to be attacked by raiders.

When attacked, they retaliate with grenade launchers, machine guns and rocket launchers, reports Austrian business paper Wirtschaftsblatt.

Passengers, who can pay an extra £5 a day for an AK-47 machine gun and £7 for 100 rounds of ammo, are also protected by a squad of ex special forces troops.

The yachts travel from Djibouti in Somalia to Mombasa in Kenya.

The ships deliberately cruise close to the coast at a speed of just five nautical miles in an attempt to attract the interest of pirates.

"They are worse than the pirates," said Russian yachtsman Vladimir Mironov. "At least the pirates have the decency to take hostages, these people are just paying to commit murder," he continued.

[Crazed Rabbit]

Huh. Like Death Wish on boats. And involving rich Russians.

CR

[Husar]

:laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4:

That's completely nuts...

:laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4:

[Beskar]

In-between the games, three French Rugby players got attacked, one beaten into hospital by....two New Zealand girls.

:shame::shame::shame::shame::shame::shame:


Reminds me of that "French Military Victories" I'm lucky, google quip.

[Alexander the Pretty Good]

Huh. Like Death Wish on boats. And involving rich Russians.

CR

I would pay money to watch it.

[Fragony]

So as it turns out grain circles in Tasmania are caused by stoned kanguroes :inquisitive:

that can't be right but that is what it says.

[CountArach]

So as it turns out grain circles in Tasmania are caused by stoned kanguroes :inquisitive:

that can't be right but that is what it says.
Most people down here blame the drop bears.

[Crazed Rabbit]

The terrorists in Ohio are using pickled mangoes - does their inhumanity know no bounds?


COLUMBUS, Ohio – An Ohio airport summoned a bomb squad to detonate a suspicious item that turned out to be pickled mangoes. X-ray equipment used by federal security screeners in Columbus could not detect what was inside a sealed canister in luggage being inspected around 7 p.m. Tuesday.

The container was labeled "baby food," but authorities say security personnel became suspicious when the woman who owned the suitcase claimed the canister held pickles.

A fire department bomb squad removed the item from the airport and detonated it, discovering the mangoes.

CR

[Lemur]

Woman agrees to sex for box of potato chips, gets arrested (http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0624091chips1.html) (so what happens if you buy her dinner and drinks and take her to a show?)

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/0624091inside1.jpg

JUNE 24--Meet Lahoma Sue Smith. The Oklahoma woman, 36, copped a plea last week to a prostitution charge for accepting a box of Frito-Lay chips in exchange for oral sex. According to the below Oklahoma City Police Department report, john Faron Johnson told cops that he informed Smith that he did not have any money, but that she "agreed to give him a 'blow job' meaning oral sex, for a box of chips." Johnson, a Frito-Lay employee, provided Smith with a case of chips he valued at $30.

[Vladimir]

All that and a bag of chips?