News of the Weird [Archive] - Page 8

Husar

03-12-2008, 22:17

The MacBook Air is a device, but it's not a "Device." (http://www.tuaw.com/2008/03/07/how-a-macbook-air-baffled-airport-security/)

you wants the latest useless little playthings that I guess you pay this kind of price from time to time...

I still remember a security guard in ben gurion airport last year looking at my PSP console like it was some sort of strange device.:laugh4:
I saw this posted elsewhere and some people had the nice idea that advertisement also works through funny stories in blogs...just found that an interesting idea.

Lemur

03-13-2008, 02:53

Ew. Just ew. I mean ... ewwwwww. (http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D8VC22HO0&show_article=1&catnum=0)

Deputies say a woman in western Kansas became stuck on her boyfriend's toilet after sitting on it for two years.

Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple said it appeared the 35-year-old Ness City woman's skin had grown around the seat. She initially refused emergency medical services but was finally convinced by responders and her boyfriend that she needed to be checked out at a hospital.

"We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital," Whipple said. "The hospital removed it."

Whipple said investigators planned to present their report Wednesday to the county attorney, who will determine whether any charges should be filed against the woman's 36-year-old boyfriend.

"She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body," Whipple said. "It is hard to imagine. ... I still have a hard time imagining it myself."

He told investigators he brought his girlfriend food and water, and asked her every day to come out of the bathroom.

"And her reply would be, `Maybe tomorrow,'" Whipple said. "According to him, she did not want to leave the bathroom."

The boyfriend called police on Feb. 27 to report that "there was something wrong with his girlfriend," Whipple said, adding that he never explained why it took him two years to call.

Police found the clothed woman sitting on the toilet, her sweat pants down to her mid-thigh. She was "somewhat disoriented," and her legs looked like they had atrophied, Whipple said.

"She said that she didn't need any help, that she was OK and did not want to leave," he said.

spmetla

03-13-2008, 03:05

I just hope their living accommodations had two toilets.

CountArach

03-13-2008, 10:08

I just hope their living accommodations had two toilets.
I hate toilet humour.

I wonder if he brought her the paper?

Vladimir

03-13-2008, 12:57

Hey baby, sexy burka (http://littlegreenfootballs.com/weblog/?entry=29253_Norwegian_Designer_Really_IS_Welcoming_Their_New_Overlords&only).

Viking

03-13-2008, 14:29

Arrow rain in Kenya (http://www.reuters.com/article/worldNews/idUSL0414835120080204)

Some pictures: http://www.vg.no/lydbilder/forsiden/vis/id/85

CHEBILAT, Kenya (Reuters) - The Kalenjin militiamen emerged from across the maize fields and, having sharpened their machetes and checked their quivers were full of arrows, said they were ready to do battle.

Across the road, the Kisii had taken a beating over the last few days but they regrouped with reinforcements and then prowled the main road, looking for the enemy, determined to retake the torched village.

Piercing war cries then rang out as hundreds of fighters shot arrows and hurled rocks and sharpened sticks at each other, torching buildings not already razed to the ground.

InsaneApache

03-14-2008, 13:48

Madame Tussauds it aint. :laugh4:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2008/01/18/nwax118.xml

I loved this quote.

He said: "Some of them are too old and they do not resemble their subjects any more and obviously some visitors are far too young to remember them.

:laugh4: hilarious! :clown:

Anyone else think that Dame Shirley Bassey looks like Whacko Jacko? :yes:

Evil_Maniac From Mars

03-15-2008, 04:04

Nevermind.

woad&fangs

03-15-2008, 23:27

"Creepy little Gnome" terrorizes Argentinian town (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,336750,00.html)

The little person — who wears a pointy hat and has a distinctive sideways walk — was caught on video last week by a terrified group of youngsters.

Teenager Jose Alvarez — who filmed the gnome — yesterday told national newspaper El Tribuno that they caught the creature while larking about in their hometown of General Guemes, in the province of Salta, Argentina.

He said: “We were chatting about our last fishing trip. It was one in the morning. I began to film a bit with my mobile phone while the others were chatting and joking. Suddenly we heard something — a weird noise as if someone was throwing stones."

"We looked to one side and saw that the grass was moving. To begin with we thought it was a dog but when we saw this gnome-like figure begin to emerge we were really afraid."

Alvarez added that other locals had come forward to say they had spotted the gnome.

He said: “This is no joke. We are still afraid to go out — just like everyone else in the neighborhood now."

"One of my friends was so scared after seeing that thing that we had to take him to the hospital,” Alvarez said.

ooooooo scary:laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4:

Riedquat

03-17-2008, 16:34

Its not funny!!

Indeed its weird, but what can you expect of a weird country.

My previous reply in this matter here: https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showthread.php?t=100423

:shame:

Lemur

03-17-2008, 17:19

Short guys are jealous! Science proves it! (http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg19726475.200-your-height-dictates-how-jealousy-strikes.html)

Your height dictates how jealousy strikes

13 March 2008
New Scientist Print Edition

JEALOUS lovers will wish they could adjust the height of their heels, for the power of the green-eyed monster depends on how tall you are.

So say researchers from the Universities of Groningen and Valencia who asked 549 men and women in the Netherlands and Spain to rate how jealous they felt and to identify the qualities in a romantic competitor that were most likely to bug them.

Men, who generally felt most nervous about attractive, rich and strong rivals, were increasingly relaxed, the taller they were themselves. Women, on the other hand, were most jealous of others' beauty and charm, but least so if their own height was average.

This makes evolutionary sense, say the researchers, because previous findings suggest that whilst taller men do best with the ladies, it is women of medium height who enjoy the best health, fertility and popularity with men.

But unlike tall men, medium-height women can be more vulnerable to jealousy under some circumstances. Faced with socially or physically powerful rivals they actually felt more jealous than shorter or taller women. According to the study, this may be because tall and strong, or socially well-connected women could well pose a threat to average-height feminine favourites since they might win conflicts, including physical fights. "Taller women are more dominant and have greater fighting abilities than shorter women," write the researchers in Evolution and Human Behavior (vol 29, p 133).

Fragony

03-17-2008, 18:30

Myabe this should be in the tech-thread but firefox crashed

http://www.mnh.si.edu/exhibits/natures_best_2007/gallery/redfox.jpg

Vladimir

03-17-2008, 19:43

Well it's his fault for being out of his habitat zone.

Evil_Maniac From Mars

03-17-2008, 21:23

Shin Bet improves public relations (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/7301522.stm) on the internetz.

Lemur

03-18-2008, 00:16

Not sure where to put this, so I'm dumping it in NotW. A Photoshop contest (http://www.worth1000.com/contest.asp?contest_id=18731&display=photoshop&page=1#entries) where modern products are put in vintage advertisements. My favorite:

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/Nokia.jpg

Andres

03-18-2008, 16:15

Woman files lawsuit against AMR because passenger next to her masturbated while she slept. (http://startelegram.typepad.com/sky_talk/2008/03/woman-files-law.html)

A 21-year-old Harris County woman filed a $200,000 lawsuit against American Airlines alleging employees on a flight to Los Angeles from Dallas/Fort Worth Airport failed to protect her while she slept from another passenger who masturbated to her and ejaculated in her hair, according to a lawsuit she filed last week in Tarrant County.

The Harris County woman alleges employees knew of the risks associated with failing to “police the passengers to ensure that passengers do not hurt one another,” the suit states.
Airline officials did not return calls seeking comment. In a statement to a Houston television station last year, a spokesman said the company regretted the incident, but the flight crew took appropriate action.

The woman and her lawyer could not be reached for comment. The Star-Telegram does not identify victims of sexual crimes.

Destined for a Spring Break visit with family and friends March 19, the woman flew from Houston to DFW Airport and had settled into her seat for the last leg of flight 2074 to Los Angeles about 11 p.m., the suit states. The woman slept most of the flight, but awoke about 20 minutes before landing when the pilot announced the plane was on descent into Los Angeles. When the woman opened her eyes, she saw that an unknown man had moved into the seat next to her and was staring at her as he masturbated, the suit states.

The woman turned toward the window in embarrassment and in an act of nervousness began to run her fingers through her hair where she noticed “a substantial amount of an extremely sticky substance in her hair,” the suit states.

The woman began to cry and tried to get the attention of a flight attendant, but was unsuccessful, the suit states. Finally a passenger in the row in front of the woman comforted her and verified the semen in her hair, the suit states.

When the plane landed, employee called airport police and the man was arrested.
The suit alleges that the during the investigation, American Airlines employees told police they witnessed the man move from his assigned seat into the row where the woman was sleeping.
The woman is seeking punitive damages and a jury trial.

Fragony

03-18-2008, 17:11

Congrats a new anus :balloon2:

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2774241.html

spmetla

03-18-2008, 19:29

Bet she's gonna tear those doctors a new one.

And as for Andre's post, what the hell! I don't even break the sacred armrest rule much less what that dude did. Feel sorry for the woman.

Fragony

03-19-2008, 08:50

lol you just HAVE to respect that http://www.ejpress.org/article/4479

BLASPHEMY :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4:

InsaneApache

03-19-2008, 13:04

Congrats a new anus :balloon2:

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2774241.html

What a bummer! :laugh4:

I wonder what happed to the woman with the piles? Did she get a third leg? :laugh4:

Fragony

03-19-2008, 16:56

HA and you blinded fools are afraid of squids with more calamari, calamari is good, so squids with ten tentacles are good because that means more calamari per squid doh. Here is the real threat

http://www.goldcoast.com.au/article/2008/03/19/9039_gold-coast-top-story.html

And I have to believe this????????

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/5/55/SHODAN_hires.jpg/250px-SHODAN_hires.jpg

Vladimir

03-20-2008, 12:56

Was it Bush lied, people died, or just a bad hair day (http://abcnews.go.com/Blotter/story?id=4475589&page=1)?

Gregoshi

03-20-2008, 16:36

Was it Bush lied, people died, or just a bad hair day (http://abcnews.go.com/Blotter/story?id=4475589&page=1)?
Worst. Comb-over. Ever.

Vladimir

03-20-2008, 17:37

Worst. Comb-over. Ever.

:bow: The most solemn pun I've read.

Viking

03-20-2008, 20:48

Animal bordellos draw Norwegians (http://www.aftenposten.no/english/local/article1458080.ece)

Denmark's animal bordellos reportedly draw Norwegian clients, but both countries have loopholes that make such establishments legal.
Here a Danish animal owner offers his horse to a Danish journalist claiming to be interested in animal sex.

Neither Denmark nor Norway has a prohibition on sex with animals, as long as the animals do not suffer.

On the Internet Danish animal owners advertise openly that they offer sex with animals, without intervention from police or other authorities, Danish newspaper 24timer reports.

...

According to the 24timer report, Germans, Dutchmen, Swedes and Norwegians visit the Danish bordello.

A farmer who sells animal sex said he is extremely surprised that foreigners are ready to travel so far for it.

"But the clients tell us that it is much simpler to buy animal sex in Denmark than in their own country," a horse owner from Nord-Jylland told the newspaper.

Err...

Viking

03-20-2008, 20:51

Oh, here's another one (http://www.aftenposten.no/english/local/article608096.ece) (2003)

Former cop busted in pig pen

A shocked pig farmer could not believe his eyes as he watched a man drop his trousers and assault several members of his herd. The farmer managed to grab a camera and get evidence of the public bestiality, and the animal lover has been convicted, newspaper VG reports.

.....

Then I saw a man standing among the pigs, inside the electrical fence. Suddenly he took off his underpants and stood there naked from the waist down. Then things started to happen that I didn't think were possible," the farmer said.

"I took nine pictures of the man in action. It was embarrassing delivering the film for development, and I explained in the photo shop what had happened," he said.

Police said that the photographs were central to resolving the case.

Vladimir

03-20-2008, 20:55

:laugh4: Well I'll be buggered!

Marshal Murat

03-20-2008, 21:35

Stingray attacks Woman (http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D8VHCJA00&show_article=1)

I feel that due to this violent attack, stingrays be added to the Octo-squid alliance, as either accomplices in the assaults on mankind, or equal members of this unholy alliance.

woad&fangs

03-21-2008, 01:20

Wall Street trader injured during a lapdance (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2008/03/18/wstrip118.xml)

CountArach

03-21-2008, 08:29

That's right Britain! We're sending our criminals to you!
http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=60505

Hilarious in its irony :2thumbsup:

InsaneApache

03-21-2008, 11:20

Raymond Horne, 61, was being sent back to Britain after moving to Queensland in 1952 at the age of five.

How's that work then? Can you stay in Oz indefinitely if you're a Brit? Seems odd.

InsaneApache

03-21-2008, 11:27

Officers investigating an episode of TV programme The Basil Brush Show after a complaint of racism have said they will take no further action.

A member of the public reported a scene which showed a Gypsy woman trying to sell Basil Brush heather and pegs.

Hang on, they do sell heather and pegs! What's racist about an accurate portrayal?

Now if she'd gone around proclaiming "Cross my palm with silver" then that's a cliche too far.

Anyroad, Boom Boom!

CountArach

03-21-2008, 11:37

How's that work then? Can you stay in Oz indefinitely if you're a Brit? Seems odd.
Yes, you can if you are a British citizen as far as I know.

InsaneApache

03-21-2008, 16:56

Viking

03-21-2008, 17:01

"It was a freak accident," said Lighthouse Point's acting fire Chief David Donzella. "It’s very odd that the thing jumped out of the water and stung him. We still can’t believe it."

That's it, I'll never go fishing again.

Evil_Maniac From Mars

03-21-2008, 20:43

Campaign Promise - To Touch Children (http://www.comcast.net/news/articles/national/2008/03/21/Sex.Offender.Candidate/)

This is just scary.

TB666

03-22-2008, 02:07

Indeed.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/us_and_americas/article606251.ece

Stingray attacks Woman (http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D8VHCJA00&show_article=1)

I feel that due to this violent attack, stingrays be added to the Octo-squid alliance, as either accomplices in the assaults on mankind, or equal members of this unholy alliance.
The stingrays have grown bold I see.
The successful attack on Steve Irwin has made them think that humanity is weak.
Afterall, Irwin was the only one that could have stopped an invasion of Octo-squids. :help:
Hurry, we must find another Neo before it's too late.

Lemur

03-23-2008, 10:51

A truly unfortunate pairing of headline and crawl:

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/human_remains_recipes1.jpg

Uesugi Kenshin

03-23-2008, 16:36

A truly unfortunate pairing of headline and crawl:

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/human_remains_recipes1.jpg

I don't know Lemur, how many of us have recipes for that? I know I could use some more just in case I find some remains buried under my garden.:yes:

Gregoshi

03-24-2008, 03:06

I don't know Lemur, how many of us have recipes for that? I know I could use some more just in case I find some remains buried under my garden.:yes:

Mmmmm, leftovers.

Geoffrey S

03-24-2008, 15:43

Women stuck to toilet seat. (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080314/ap_on_re_us/woman_in_bathroom_28) I know the bad jokes about how long women take in the restrooms, but still... nasty.

Evil_Maniac From Mars

03-24-2008, 16:09

Conan the Monk (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7310993.stm)

drone

03-25-2008, 20:41

Wrong tool for the job (http://www.kmbc.com/news/15701029/detail.html)

Officials are trying to determine whether to file charges against a man who fatally shot his wife while trying to install a satellite television system in their home.

Patsy D. Long, 34, of Deep Water, was pronounced dead early Saturday evening after being shot in the chest with a .22-caliber handgun.

Pasty Long was standing outside the residence, helping her husband with the installation of a satellite television system. The couple's children were also outside.

According to sheriff's department spokesman Maj. Robert Hills, Ronald Long fired a shot from the inside of their home after several unsuccessful efforts to punch a hole through the exterior wall using other means.

Crazed Rabbit

03-25-2008, 21:25

Wow, that's on a whole different plane of stupid.

CR

Gregoshi

03-25-2008, 23:24

Wrong tool for the job (http://www.kmbc.com/news/15701029/detail.html)
Even Tim "The Toolman" Taylor isn't that stupid.

Evil_Maniac From Mars

03-25-2008, 23:57

The etiquette police (etiquette) are watching you!

TB666

03-26-2008, 12:48

Wrong tool for the job (http://www.kmbc.com/news/15701029/detail.html)
Darwin award winner ??

Gregoshi

03-26-2008, 13:58

Darwin award winner ??
No, he doesn't qualify because he survived. The one doing the dumb act can't suvive the stupidity. If only he'd used the .22 as a hammer, he might have shot himself.

Lemur

03-26-2008, 18:43

Actually, you can survive and still be a Darwin Award winner; you just have to render yourself unable to reproduce. The idea is that you're doing us all a favor by eliminating your chance to muddy the gene pool.

In Italy, two slave girls are forced to swim with piranha and snakes (http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSEIC57185920080325?rpc=64).

Circus "slave" forced to swim with piranhas

Tue Mar 25, 2008 4:51pm EDT

ROME - Police rescued two teenage Bulgarian sisters from a circus in southern Italy which forced one of them to swim with flesh-eating piranhas for the amusement of guests, police said.

While the 19-year-old sister swam in a transparent tank, the younger, 16-year-old was forced into a container where the circus staff tossed snakes at her. She was injured by one of the snakes, police said.

Police arrested three Italians who ran the circus south of Naples, in Salerno province, accusing them of forcing the sisters to live in virtual slavery.

The women were paid 100 euros ($155.8) per week and lived in a trailer that had previously been used to transport animals, they said.

Gregoshi

03-26-2008, 21:35

I stand corrected Lemur. :bow: Though I must say that death is much easier to accomplish than sterility...I'm not sure why I find comfort in that.

Banquo's Ghost

03-26-2008, 21:46

One might argue that any additional procreation is highly unlikely - having shot his wife dead, and being very unlikely to get laid again in this lifetime - unless one counts Bubba's devoted attention in the prison showers.

Lemur

03-27-2008, 00:17

You will all be relieved to know that the World Beard Championship (http://www.worldbeardchampionships.com/) will be returning to North America on May 23, 2009 in Anchorage, Alaska. I was pretty worried that we wouldn't host the hirsute olympics again.

Go BeardTeam USA (http://beardteamusa.org/index.html)!

Fragony

03-27-2008, 10:21

Lol typically Amsterdam, see this is why it is dangerous to take on activities with a purpose other then the greater glory of the second best mayor of the world Job Cohen.

So, the first fine for not attending school is a fact, van Gogh's son got it after his dad was murdered. This can't be a mistake, never write something that is bad for the career of the second best mayor of the world because he will not only destroy you but your kids as well. Never have doubts.

Geoffrey S

03-27-2008, 13:03

And here's a link (http://www.telegraaf.nl/binnenland/3642973/_Zoon_van_Gogh_op_bon_na__spijbelen___.html?pageNumber=3) about the above, in Dutch. At first glance, vicious, there better be a decent explanation.

Fragony

03-27-2008, 13:33

It's Amsterdam, there's your explanation. Zero tolerance for non-believers, believing isn't even enough you have to know that there is only one culture and it's multi.

or else.

Fragony

03-27-2008, 14:42

LOL

http://www.stuff.co.nz/nelsonmail/4453981a6007.html

Lemur

03-27-2008, 17:05

Man Claims to Speak 'Australian' After Allegedly Being Raped by Wombat (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,342099,00.html)

SYDNEY — A New Zealand man has been sentenced to community service after telling police he was raped by a wombat and the experience had made him speak "Australian".

Arthur Ross Cradock, 48, from the South Island town of Motueka, called police on February 11 and told them he was being raped at his home by the wombat and he needed help, The Nelson Mail newspaper reported.

The orchard worker later called back and said: "Apart from speaking Australian now, I'm pretty all right, you know."

Cradock pleaded guilty in the local court to using a phone for a fictitious purpose. He was sentenced to 75 hours' community work.

Police prosecutor Sergeant Chris Stringer told the court alcohol played a large role in Cradock's life.

Fragony

03-27-2008, 17:21

HA beat you to it.

Lemur

03-27-2008, 17:57

Dang, so you did. That'll learn me not to post before clicking every link from the last day. Bad lemur! Bad, naughty lemur!

I'm going to need one of those greeting cards for inmates (http://www.threesquaresgreetings.com/) at this rate ...

Do You Know Someone Who Is In Jail or Prison?

Then “Three Squares Greetings” – “For Those Who Can’t Come Home” is the greeting card line for you. Three Squares Greetings is a new greeting card line designed to keep you in touch with your family members or friends who are in custody. The cards make it EASY for you to express sentiments that are not easy to express. We have greeting cards from parents, children, friends, and family for all occasions.

Categories:

Money On Your Books
Thanks For Coming to Court
Thanks For Visiting
Happy Birthday Cards
Cards Requesting Prayer
Thinking About You Cards
and Many More

Fragony

03-27-2008, 18:22

I'm not angry, just a bit dissapointed

Vladimir

03-27-2008, 20:42

Sweet home Lenin-grad-a. (http://www.tothepointnews.com/content/view/3114/85/) Party I'm comin' home to you.

Prepare yourself for this one - maybe with a Stoli martini or two.

Back in the days of the Soviet Union, the Soviet Red Army had an official choir composed of male soldiers and musicians. It still exists. The Red Army Choir performs throughout Russia to this day.

Now consider the Finnish rock band called The Leningrad Cowboys. A little while ago, they held a concert in Russia, in which - to the screaming applause of Russkie teen-agers - they got the Red Army Choir to join them on stage for a performance of "Sweet Home Alabama." In English. You couldn't make this up.

We're talking seriously off the wall here. Better have that Stoli ready when you watch it:

Gregoshi

03-27-2008, 20:59

Sweet home Lenin-grad-a. (http://www.tothepointnews.com/content/view/3114/85/) Party I'm comin' home to you.

:laugh4: Love it!

In a similar vein, here is that rock classic Smoke on the Mizu (http://www.liquidgeneration.com/Media/Videos/Viral_Videos/Music/Smoke_on_the_Mizu/)
Rock on - whoever you are!! :thrasher:

Evil_Maniac From Mars

03-27-2008, 22:26

Smoke on the Mizu (http://www.liquidgeneration.com/Media/Videos/Viral_Videos/Music/Smoke_on_the_Mizu/)

Brilliant!

Crazed Rabbit

03-28-2008, 01:09

Lemur

03-29-2008, 02:08

I love that version of Sweet Home Alabama as much a the next guy, but man, the video is teh old.

In Atlanta our cybernetic overlords are protecting a bar.

'Bum Bot' patrols Atlanta neighborhood

ATLANTA, March 28 -- An Atlanta bar owner said his "Bum Bot," a robot he created to chase drug dealers and prostitutes out of his neighborhood, is successful in scaring criminals.

Rufus Terrill said he regularly sends the remote-controlled Bum Bot -- which he created from a Cajun meat cooker, a mechanical scooter, a walkie-talkie wired to a home-alarm speaker, an infrared camera, a spotlight and a homemade water cannon -- out to patrol the neighborhood around his bar after dark, the Los Angeles Times reported Friday.

He said drug dealers and prostitutes encountered by his creation are confronted with a warning that if they don't immediately leave the area, they will be blasted by the water cannon.

"It scares the bejesus out of 'em," Terrill said.

However, Anita Beaty, executive director of the non-profit Metro Atlanta Task Force for the Homeless, said the robot, which frequently targets people surrounding a homeless shelter nearby the bar, hinders more than it helps.

"Not everybody outside our building is a drug dealer, and when they are, we want them arrested as much as (Terrill). A robot is not the way to solve anything," she said.

Bolding by lemur.

InsaneApache

03-29-2008, 03:33

A man with a sense of humour.

Stringent security measures before a Nato summit in Bucharest next week to be attended by George Bush and Gordon Brown, irritated Bogdan Surdu, 29, a web designer, so much that he posted an internet ad offering his terrace with a clear view of the conference hall as a “sniper position” for rent at a price of €5,000 a day.

Dozens of people answered, including those claiming to belong to al-Qaeda and the CIA. But Romanian security services failed to see the joke. He has now been put under observation and has been classed as a potential security threat.

http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/the_way_we_live/article3633698.ece

woad&fangs

03-29-2008, 20:04

Cops Bust Root Beer Kegger (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23851011/?GT1=43001)

Courtesy of your friends in Wierdsconsin :laugh4:

TB666

03-30-2008, 13:23

:laugh4: Love it!

In a similar vein, here is that rock classic Smoke on the Mizu (http://www.liquidgeneration.com/Media/Videos/Viral_Videos/Music/Smoke_on_the_Mizu/)
Rock on - whoever you are!! :thrasher:
Damn, that version is better then the Deep Purple version.:hide:

Banquo's Ghost

03-31-2008, 12:18

US security no longer removing nipple rings with pliers. (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/03/31/tsa_cans_pliers/)

TSA allows visual inspections of nipple rings
Ditches pliers after Texas airport piercing rumpus
By Lester Haines

The US's Transportation Security Administration has announced some good news for aficionados of nipple piercings - they will no longer have to remove them with pliers before boarding internal flights.

The policy review came shortly after 37-year-old Mandi Hamlin fell foul of a handheld metal detector in Lubbock, Texas, while trying to catch a plane to Dallas on 24 February. The device sucessfully detected two jub accessories, and Hamlin was ordered to remove them.

She was whisked behind a curtain and while the first piercing - a metal bar - slipped out without protest, her nipple ring proved a little more stubborn. Hamlin was quickly reduced to tears and, when handed a pair of pliers to dislodge the offending metalwork, claimed she heard "male TSA agents snicker as she took out the ring".

Cue the obligatory press conference and demands for an apology, although the TSA claimed its operatives "properly followed procedures in that incident" and further supported "the thoroughness of the Officers involved as they were acting to protect the passengers and crews of the flights departing Lubbock that day".

However, the TSA late last week updated its statement to read: "TSA has reviewed the procedures themselves and agrees that they need to be changed. In the future TSA will inform passengers that they have the option to resolve the alarm through a visual inspection of the article in lieu of removing the item in question.

"TSA acknowledges that our procedures caused difficulty for the passenger involved and regrets the situation in which she found herself. We appreciate her raising awareness on this issue and we are changing the procedures to ensure that this does not happen again."

In celebration of this attack of good sense, we at El Reg have had a quick whip-round and will offer a hearty night in our favourite hostelry to the first male reader who turns up at Lubbock bearing a "Prince Albert" and demands a visual inspection. Watch this space. ®

Banquo's Ghost

03-31-2008, 12:28

"Darling, when I asked you to lay the table (http://www.fox19.com/Global/story.asp?S=8083860&nav=menu63_2), I meant..."

naut

03-31-2008, 12:33

Eww.

InsaneApache

03-31-2008, 14:16

Another cock-up on the catering front. :laugh4:

Lemur

04-02-2008, 05:39

Cashiers have a greater power and authority than you ever knew.

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/homeland-security-cashier-for-detai.jpg

Lemur

04-02-2008, 15:17

Giant cannibal hippie-hating squids (http://www.kqed.org/quest/television/view/774) invade Northern California. Don't go in the water!

InsaneApache

04-02-2008, 15:58

It's a recon in force probing our light defences. Not long now my beloved. :sweatdrop:

Vladimir

04-02-2008, 16:32

Hmm, lunch time!

Viking

04-02-2008, 20:35

Giant cannibal hippie-hating squids (http://www.kqed.org/quest/television/view/774) invade Northern California. Don't go in the water!

"They only think about two things: food and reproduction"

Hmm, I think we've just found the Missing Link.

Gregoshi

04-03-2008, 04:17

Giant cannibal hippie-hating squids (http://www.kqed.org/quest/television/view/774) ...
Bah, humbolt!

Fragony

04-03-2008, 11:23

Gentlemen I have disturbing news. As it turns out squids are lovers, an average encounter lasts 13 minutes and they seem to enjoy it because they want to make love whenever they get the chance.

First kebab-shop on the northpole huge succes

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2008/04/03/wkebab103.xml

Lemur

04-03-2008, 18:09

Finally, an answer to that age-old question: What's good to eat in Spitsbergen?

Australia is holding its annual Kill a Toad Day (http://www.stuff.co.nz/stuff/thepress/westcoast/4463056a4560.html). Sounds like fun for the whole family.

'Kill a toad' day

The Age | Thursday, 03 April 2008

It's Queensland's own version of Clean Up Australia Day - except much more unpleasant and a whole lot wartier.

Nationals MP Shane Knuth wants to hold a day dedicated to ridding the Sunshine State of public enemy number one, the cane toad.

Millions of Queenslanders would be asked to roll up their sleeves to remove the warty pests from their backyards and beyond during the proposed "Toad Day Out".

"Basically we need ... a special day that Queenslanders, especially children, could all play their part, very similar to Clean Up Australia (Day)," the Charters Towers MP said.

"The toad is probably the greatest environmental vermin and probably the most disgusting creature known to man.

"Each female toad can produce up to 20,000 eggs.

"If even 3,000 female toads were collected, this has the potential of eliminating 60 million toads hopping around our environment."

Mr Knuth said the day should be held during the wet season in January, when toad breeding was prolific.

Participants would be encouraged to put the toads in their fridge before euthanasing them in the freezer. They would then be disposed of at a specially set up centre.

Mr Knuth, who last year proposed a 40-cent-per-toad bounty, said both state and federal governments had to seriously consider such a payment as part of any toad hunt.

"I would like the opportunity to present this to (Prime Minister) Kevin Rudd," Mr Knuth said.

"This is not pie in the sky stuff. This is reality."

Mr Knuth admitted to "belting toads with whatever I could get my hands on" in the past, but said cricket bats and golf clubs would not be allowed.

The RSPCA said it would support the Toad Day Out, but only if the pests were killed humanely.

"Obviously we're not idiots - we understand a lot people will be highly reluctant to fill their fridges and freezers with dying cane toads, but at the moment that is the only humane way that we can recommend," spokesman Michael Beatty said.

Queensland's Department of Primary Industries said it was important native frogs were not mistaken for toads during any hunt.

Mr Knuth said Toad Day Out could eventually be held in other states battling the pest.

"We will be waiting 50 years if we rely on science," he said.

"This is a way that will solve the toad problem."

Vladimir

04-03-2008, 18:19

We want them all to DIEEEEEEEEEEE!!! :devil:

Humanely. :saint:

InsaneApache

04-03-2008, 18:55

Finally, an answer to that age-old question: What's good to eat in Spitsbergen?

New Zealand is holding its annual Kill a Toad Day (http://www.stuff.co.nz/stuff/thepress/westcoast/4463056a4560.html). Sounds like fun for the whole family.

'Kill a toad' day

The Age | Thursday, 03 April 2008

It's Queensland's own version of Clean Up Australia Day - except much more unpleasant and a whole lot wartier.

Nationals MP Shane Knuth wants to hold a day dedicated to ridding the Sunshine State of public enemy number one, the cane toad.

Millions of Queenslanders would be asked to roll up their sleeves to remove the warty pests from their backyards and beyond during the proposed "Toad Day Out".

"Basically we need ... a special day that Queenslanders, especially children, could all play their part, very similar to Clean Up Australia (Day)," the Charters Towers MP said.

"The toad is probably the greatest environmental vermin and probably the most disgusting creature known to man.

"Each female toad can produce up to 20,000 eggs.

"If even 3,000 female toads were collected, this has the potential of eliminating 60 million toads hopping around our environment."

Mr Knuth said the day should be held during the wet season in January, when toad breeding was prolific.

Participants would be encouraged to put the toads in their fridge before euthanasing them in the freezer. They would then be disposed of at a specially set up centre.

Mr Knuth, who last year proposed a 40-cent-per-toad bounty, said both state and federal governments had to seriously consider such a payment as part of any toad hunt.

"I would like the opportunity to present this to (Prime Minister) Kevin Rudd," Mr Knuth said.

"This is not pie in the sky stuff. This is reality."

Mr Knuth admitted to "belting toads with whatever I could get my hands on" in the past, but said cricket bats and golf clubs would not be allowed.

The RSPCA said it would support the Toad Day Out, but only if the pests were killed humanely.

"Obviously we're not idiots - we understand a lot people will be highly reluctant to fill their fridges and freezers with dying cane toads, but at the moment that is the only humane way that we can recommend," spokesman Michael Beatty said.

Queensland's Department of Primary Industries said it was important native frogs were not mistaken for toads during any hunt.

Mr Knuth said Toad Day Out could eventually be held in other states battling the pest.

"We will be waiting 50 years if we rely on science," he said.

"This is a way that will solve the toad problem."

You know what's really weird? I could have sworn that Queensland is in Australia. :laugh4:

Lemur

04-03-2008, 19:00

You know what's really weird? I could have sworn that Queensland is in Australia. :laugh4:
That's what I wrote, um, I had it right all along. Yeah, that's the ticket. I don't know why you maliciously edited my quote to make it seem like I'm incapable of telling the difference between an Ozzie and a Kiwi. How very malicious of you!

Gregoshi

04-03-2008, 19:39

Australia is holding its annual Kill a Toad Day (http://www.stuff.co.nz/stuff/thepress/westcoast/4463056a4560.html). Sounds like fun for the whole family.
This just proves the genius of Weird Al: Weasel Stomping Day (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEOAh9RDIfI)

"...It's tradition, that makes it okay!" :laugh4:

Lemur

04-03-2008, 23:57

I was molested by bigfoot (http://www.hecklerspray.com/awesome-or-off-putting-bigfoot-molests-a-pervert-with-video/200813273.php#more-13273).

A man who claims that he was molested by Bigfoot as a child was ordered to serve 20 years in prison yesterday for his own molestation-related activities… Morrill told an investigator preparing his pre-sentence report about being sexually assaulted by the legendary Bigfoot, a North American folklore character said to be between 7 and 10 feet tall, and covered in dark brown or dark reddish hair. [His defense attorney] said Morrill really believes the [assault] happened.

Lemur

04-04-2008, 00:08

Keeping to theme, a giant bat-creature is sodomizing men in Tanzania (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/6383833.stm).

Men in parts of Tanzania's main city, Dar es Salaam, are living in fear of a night-time sex attacker.

A BBC correspondent says the attacks are being blamed by some on a demon called "Popo Bawa" meaning winged bat.

Some men are staying awake or sleeping in groups outside their homes. Others are smearing themselves with pig's oil, believing this repels attacks.

From the Wiki article (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Popobawa):

Popobawa is variously described as either a ghost or ogre with gigantic bat wings and a giant penis. [...] His presence is usually announced by the sound of scraping claws on their roof and a sharp, pungent smell. Different from other incubus legends, Popobawa primarily attacks men and only in their own beds, resulting in many men sleeping outside in streets or on porches after recent reported attacks. He attacks men as they sleep, overpowering them, holding their face to the floor and sodomizing them for up to an hour.

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/ht_batboy06_070724_ssv.jpg

Uesugi Kenshin

04-04-2008, 00:56

Gregoshi

04-04-2008, 04:25

Would pig's oil really discourage sodomy, or....:no:
Are you thinking Deliverance Uesugi?

Lemur

04-05-2008, 06:03

Since I'm on a sodomy roll ...

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/RubberFist.jpg

Gregoshi

04-05-2008, 06:59

Since I'm on a sodomy roll ...
Keep'em comin' Lemur!

We want Gomorrah!
We want Gomorrah!

InsaneApache

04-05-2008, 13:21

Being the shy, retiring type I am, could you tell me the correlation between a rubber fist and sodomy? :laugh4:

Lemur

04-05-2008, 18:52

InsaneApache, everything you need to know is on the sign. Biggest hints: "Minimal stains, one size fits all."

Evil_Maniac From Mars

04-05-2008, 20:15

Being the shy, retiring type I am, could you tell me the correlation between a rubber fist and sodomy? :laugh4:

Google it. :sneaky:

Lemur

04-06-2008, 00:25

Try as I might, I can't find a fourth sodomy story, so a trilogy it will remain. Meanwhile, forget all about Chuck Norris; Mister T (http://uk.news.yahoo.com/wenn/20080329/ten-mr-t-brought-boy-out-of-coma-c60bd6d.html) has the real mojo. He snapped a kid out of a coma! Try that, Chuck!

Mr. T brought boy out of coma

By WENN world entertainment news - Saturday, March 29 01:55 pm

Former The A-Team star Mr. T once stunned a sick child's family by bringing him out of a coma - after doctors begged the actor for help.

The poorly kid fell unconscious in Detroit, Michigan in the mid-1980s - and the only physical movement he made was in response to hearing Mr. T's name.

And when the mohawked star was in town, he stopped by the hospital to visit the ill boy - with miraculous results.

He tells Empire magazine, "His family put toys around him and one of them was a Mr. T doll. And whenever my name came up, the boy moved his arm.

"Somebody told the doctors I was in town, so they called me down there. I closed the curtains and prayed. Then, as I was walking down the hall, the kid suddenly came out of the coma and hollered out.

"That was my supernatural moment."

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/mister_T.jpg

Gregoshi

04-06-2008, 06:31

The poorly kid fell unconscious in Detroit, Michigan in the mid-1980s...
...coincidentally at the same time Mr. T's career went into a coma.

InsaneApache

04-06-2008, 16:43

Did he say "I love it when a plan comes together!"?

InsaneApache

04-07-2008, 14:20

A man in New Zealand has been charged with using a hedgehog as a weapon, the New Zealand Herald has reported

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/7334233.stm

Poor thing. ( The hedgepig, not the man)

Fragony

04-07-2008, 14:57

Heart Transplant Patient Kills Himself in Same Manner as Donor

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,347151,00.html

Lemur

04-07-2008, 15:01

Gah! Beaten to the hedgehog-as-weapon story by a Brit. Wouldn't ya know.

Here's a freaky one: Man receives heart transplant from a suicide. Marries the suicide's widow. Then, just to keep things tidy, he commits suicide (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23984857/).

Fragony

04-07-2008, 15:07

nananananaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaana

Fragony

04-07-2008, 17:28

InsaneApache

04-07-2008, 20:05

ShadesPanther

04-07-2008, 20:24

Mole Repellant complete success... well sort of. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/7335006.stm)

DIY retailer B&Q is recalling sonic mole repellers from its Northern Ireland stores - because the mammals do not exist in Ireland.

The chain admitted it had been a mistake to stock the devices in its NI stores and that they had been on sale for several months.

It stocks two mole repellers - one priced £19.98 and the other £14.98. Both are to be withdrawn from sale.

"The mole repellents were sent to Northern Ireland by mistake and will be removed from stores in the near future," a B&Q spokesman told BBC News.

Moles, which are almost blind, live underground and burrow holes, with some species aquatic or semi-aquatic.

'Sea level rose'

Professor Ian Montgomery from Queen's University said there were no moles at all in Ireland.

"The origin of the Irish mammal fauna is very interesting because the major process is one of glaciation," he said.

"During the last ice age, most parts of Ireland were covered, as was Britain, and as the ice retreated animals from the south moved northwards.

"They moved through continental Europe. They got into Britain, but they didn't get into Ireland because the sea level rose too quickly.

"As a result, Ireland was left without moles, whereas moles managed to get into Britain."

There were quite a number of mammals which did not exist in Ireland, said the academic.

"For example, we only have one field mouse here - which was probably brought in with early man.

"We are without the common shrew, but we have the pygmy shrew.

"We have about half the number of bat species compared to Britain and to the rest of Europe. We don't have weasels, but we do have stoats.

"Snakes, and reptiles in general, are poorly represented.

"But we do have the common lizard, we have slow worms - but they have been introduced - and there is probably the odd grassnake around, that again has been introduced."

Lemur

04-07-2008, 22:08

The smallest girl (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/worldnews.html?in_article_id=557762&in_page_id=1811) in the world:

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/jyotiBAR0704_468x378.jpg

A teenager from India who stands at a tiny 1ft 11in (58cm) tall is the smallest girl in the world.

Jyoti Amge, 14, is shorter than the average two-year-old child and only weighs 11lb (5kg).

She has a form of dwarfism called achondroplasia and won't grow any taller than her current height.

Crazed Rabbit

04-08-2008, 09:15

This man:
http://blogs.herald.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/04/07/geneoosik.jpg
(That's the penis bone of a walrus. The walrus is believed to be dead at this time.)

Has just won a Pulitzer prize:
http://www.editorandpublisher.com/eandp/news/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1003786622

England cracks down hard on crime in the only way it knows how:
Ineffective half-measures that ignore the real problem! (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/norfolk/7334973.stm)
"Sgt Brown said squirting ketchup was not a criminal act but it could be possible to bring charges of criminal damage if paintwork was damaged on homes or vehicles."

Colorado harshly violates the human rights of criminals! (http://www.denverpost.com/coloradosunday/ci_8824269)

And finally, the heavens are angry with this Bosnian man - five meteorites have hit his house. (http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2803149.html)

That has been your late night weird news update.

CR

Lemur

04-08-2008, 16:30

Maybe the best correction (http://www.loaded.co.uk/magazine) ever:

We now accept that Heinz has never produced Swastika shaped spaghetti nor did it support the Nazi regime in any other way. Indeed, we accept that Heinz was a major contributor to the Allies' war efforts, producing rations for the troops. We apologise unreservedly to Heinz and to anyone who was offended by the article, which we admit was false and irresponsible.

Fragony

04-08-2008, 18:19

Quite possibly the most egocentric person on earth.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,347748,00.html

Ah you look like this, indeed don't look like the type of person that would let someobody else's lifethreatening situation get into the way of your well deserved holiday. Please get a traffic-jam in your aorta and die.

http://www.spitsnieuws.nl/archives/images/MuiterijGroot.jpg

Viking

04-09-2008, 08:08

Oops, it turns out the Norwegian Prime Minister is a Total War player. Maybe I should read my own posts twice before posting them here.

http://www.dagbladet.no/kultur/2008/04/08/531926.html

- All the games that I play, like Age of Empire and Medieval: Total War, are in principle much of the same. You build a society, farms, mines, create trade connections and use diplomacy.

- Alle de spillene jeg spiller, som «Age of Empires» og «Medieval Total War», er grunnleggende litt like. Du bygger samfunn, dyrker korn, åpner gruver, handelsforbindelser og diplomati.

- It is kinda like your job?

- Yeah, alot! There are budgetary restrictions. If you use too much money on the marine, there'll be less money for the farming which in turn will mean that there will be less food. So you have to consider whether to create wealth and buy soldiers, or whether you should aim to conquer lands and become great that way. There are many judgements to be made and they are quite demanding. The problem with these kind of games is that they take an incredibly amount of time. The hours just fly away, says Stoltenberg to Magasinet.

- Det blir litt som på jobben?

- Ja, veldig! Og det er budsjettrestriksjoner. Bruker du for mange penger på marinen, blir det mindre på å dyrke jorda, og da blir det mindre mat i neste omgang. Så må du vurdere om du skal bygge rikdom og kjøpe soldater, eller om du skal satse på å erobre land og bygge deg opp på den måten. Det er mange avveininger og veldig krevende. Problemet med slike spill er at det tar vanvittig med tid. Timene bare drar unna, sier Stoltenberg til Magasinet.

And his online nick? Steklov.

CountArach

04-09-2008, 10:37

Best... PM... Ever...

But seriously - I think I headshotted that guy once...

Lemur

04-09-2008, 15:44

Wisconsin Turkeys Attack Postmen (http://cbs4.com/watercooler/postal.workers.attacked.2.694248.html)

[...] About five to 10 of the birds have been pecking at the postal workers as they make their rounds, and some of the birds have attacked the letter carriers with the sharp spurs on their legs. One of the birds went through the open door of a mail truck and scratched the driver.

Wilhite sought help in the matter from Eric Lobner, regional wildlife program supervisor for the state Department of Natural Resources.

Lobner said the behavior is clearly tied to the breeding season, which started recently and runs through about mid-May.

Color plays an important role in turkey breeding, he said, with the color of the male's head during mating season changes from gaudy blue to white to red. Lobner speculated that perhaps the turkeys are attracted to the red, white and blue postal trucks. [...]

Fragony

04-09-2008, 15:50

This zoo needs a good moderator :beam:

http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,23739,23505793-5013016,00.html

Viking

04-09-2008, 16:12

Owwwwwwwww! Math genius becomes callgirl, she was accepted at Oxford at the age of 13 GAWD that is hot. Hope this isn't too much but here's our little einstein;

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix//2008/04_01/Oxfordprostitute_468x289.jpg

130 pound mia muca's that is money well spend.

Heh, I found the entire story behind.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=550549&in_page_id=1770

How much of a genius she were versus how much her parents pushed her seems to be debatable. But no worries, a Malaysian delegation is looking to cure her from the black magic that has cursed her.

http://www.melayu.org.uk/index.php?q=node/453

Assalamu alaikum,

Based on discussion with Islamic medical practitioners and several divine guidance, we are convinced that Sufiah is under the influence of black magic. For that reason, a delegation from Malaysia headed by Ustaz Trimizi Zainal will depart Malaysia on 19th April to treat Sufiah using Islamic Medical practice. Ustaz Trimizi Insha'Allah will be in UK for 1 month and Insha'Allah he will treat Sufiah for the whole of the duration.

....

Ustaz Trimizi is a founding member of "Paranormal Islamic Support and Nurture Group", an organisation that will shortly be registered as an NGO. The NGO has several objectives, one of them being to spread Islam to the western world through holistic approach of Islamic medical treatment.

I couldn't resist myself, here's something more. :sweatdrop:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/portal/main.jhtml?xml=/portal/2008/04/01/ftgenius101.xml

We want nothing to do with my dad," said Sufiah's brother Isaac Abraham, 26, speaking on the doorstep. "He was so abusive to us. That's why Sufiah had to get away."

Ten years before, Farooq Yusof had been lauded as a pioneer in hothousing - the intensive personal tutoring of young children.

The subject of his experiments in education were his five children. Early life for them was a regime of spartan intensity.

The temperature in the family home was always low to ensure their attention, morning prayers were followed by stretching and breathing exercises.

Television, pop music and anything else that might lead to "shallow thinking" was banned. Fresh air, said Yusof, was essential for a fresh mind.

Punching helped as well.

"It depended on whatever mood he was in," said Abraham. "He used to wake us up in the middle of the night by punching our faces. It was awful what he put us through."

Born in Pakistan, and considered a prodigy himself, Farooq basked in the publicity that followed Sufiah's admission to St Hilda's College, Oxford.

Now onto weird news.

Fragony

04-09-2008, 16:53

OK this just went from extremily hot to OUCH I can't handle it anymore, would love to relieve this poor girl from her frustrations and some of mine.

edyzmedieval

04-09-2008, 19:57

It's News of the Weird, not News of the Hormones, Fragony. :sweatdrop:

Husar

04-10-2008, 12:08

OK this just went from extremily hot to OUCH I can't handle it anymore, would love to relieve this poor girl from her frustrations and some of mine.
"Picture posed by model" :sweatdrop:

Vladimir

04-10-2008, 17:06

Yeah, alot! There are budgetary restrictions. If you use too much money on the marine, there'll be less money for the farming which in turn will mean that there will be less food. So you have to consider whether to create wealth and buy soldiers, or whether you should aim to conquer lands and become great that way.

The more things change...

Fragony

04-11-2008, 11:53

This is what happens when the green party wins local elections, mandatory reincarnation-therapy for unemployed tax-wasters. No, I am not kidding.

EDIT: Removed hotlinked picture of hippies. Once again, please host pictures yourself. *performs passable imitation of broken record* BG

Why can't we all smoke a bong

Evil_Maniac From Mars

04-11-2008, 12:41

The right is right, apparently, in terms of taste in women. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7338415.stm)

Evil_Maniac From Mars

04-11-2008, 15:14

EU does something right! (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/7342135.stm)

I couldn't resist.

Gregoshi

04-11-2008, 20:08

The right is right, apparently, in terms of taste in women. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7338415.stm)
Point to ponder: If you could make everyone beautiful, who'd be left?

Gregoshi

04-11-2008, 20:11

EU does something right! (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/7342135.stm)

This article is Arrrr rated in a PG-13 forum. I'm notifying the moderators. ~;)

Viking

04-11-2008, 22:13

Point to ponder: If you could make everyone beautiful, who'd be left?

Sanity would not be left, and that sounds just about right.

Gregoshi

04-11-2008, 22:21

Sanity would not be left, and that sounds just about right.
That's an ugly thought.

Evil_Maniac From Mars

04-11-2008, 22:21

Sanity would not be left, and that sounds just about right.

Making everyone beautiful is a great idea, but it wouldn't work, so it would be left.

Geoffrey S

04-12-2008, 17:16

Not funny. Naive. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/7344381.stm)

An Italian woman artist who was hitch-hiking to the Middle East dressed as a bride to promote world peace has been found murdered in Turkey.

The naked body of Giuseppina Pasqualino di Marineo, 33, known as Pippa Bacca, was found in bushes near the city of Gebze on Friday.

Evil_Maniac From Mars

04-13-2008, 06:12

I'd already heard about that at the Paradox Forums. Nonetheless, it is deserving of a good old

https://img145.imageshack.us/img145/3692/normalpicardnofacepalmdr6.jpg

There is a reason for being cynical and paranoid. It keeps you alive.

InsaneApache

04-13-2008, 12:50

She had said she wanted to show that she could put her trust in the kindness of local people.

She got that wrong. :shame:

Fragony

04-13-2008, 15:40

Well it was alive while it lasted, couldn't have been a total idiot in her own special way.

Sanity would not be left, and that sounds just about right.

Looks like the Pun-nisher has some competition.....

Lemur

04-13-2008, 17:47

"A jury acquitted a man of smuggling endangered iguanas in his hollowed-out prosthetic leg but convicted him of concealing and possessing the endangered species."

Linky. (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080412/ap_on_fe_st/odd_illegal_iguana)

Caius

04-14-2008, 03:17

it turns out the Norwegian Prime Minister is a Total War player
George Bush should be doing the same thing as him. Global peace could be achieved thanks to Total War games (tm)

Fragony

04-14-2008, 11:37

I hope they will be happy together

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1032034.ece

Crazed Rabbit

04-14-2008, 20:07

http://wbztv.com/sports/redsox/Gino.Castignoli.Yankee.2.698648.html

Red Sox lovin' construction worker hides a Sox jersey in the new Yankee stadium being constructed. The Yankees spend $50k to jackhammer it out of concrete and want to press charges:

Yankees President Randy Levine said team officials at first considered leaving the shirt where it was.

"The first thought was, you know, it's never a good thing to be buried in cement when you're in New York," Levine said. "But then we decided, why reward somebody who had really bad motives and was trying to do a really bad thing?"
...
Levine said the shirt would be cleaned up and sent to the Jimmy Fund, a charity affiliated with Boston's Dana-Farber Cancer Institute.

"Hopefully the Jimmy Fund will auction it off and we'll take the act that was a very, very bad act and turn it into something beautiful," he said.

A very, very bad act? Geez, you get out much Levine?

CR

Gregoshi

04-14-2008, 21:02

Levine doesn't like people Yankeeng his chain.

Evil_Maniac From Mars

04-15-2008, 21:27

I have nothing to say. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7348339.stm)

Crazed Rabbit

04-16-2008, 08:22

We make 'em weird in Western Washington. (http://www.worldrecordsacademy.org/society/most_baloons_inflated_by_nose_world_record_set_by_Andrew_Dahl_80197.htm)

CR

edyzmedieval

04-17-2008, 12:15

We live in a YouTubic world.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24140922/

Crazed Rabbit

04-17-2008, 20:34

The intertubes are dead! (http://gawker.com/380877/south-park-the-day-the-internet-stood-still?autoplay=true)

CR

Evil_Maniac From Mars

04-17-2008, 22:05

When Russians drink (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7353025.stm), they drink gooooooood.

Evil_Maniac From Mars

04-18-2008, 00:10

I posted this simply for the title. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7352636.stm)

Crazed Rabbit

04-18-2008, 03:49

When you're the mayor of a city and your own District Attorney says some newly passed laws are unenforceable and illegal, you may be a bit nutty.

http://www.kyw1060.com/pages/2006537.php

Crazed Rabbit

Crazed Rabbit

04-18-2008, 04:54

A man saves an unconscious woman by falling on her from 25 feet up.

http://www.shortnews.com/start.cfm?id=70044

Ah, strange the webs we weave when the elevator inspectors are on leave.

CR

Lemur

04-18-2008, 05:34

You know you're really drunk when you sleep off a knifing (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7353025.stm).

A Russian man trying to sleep off a night of after-work drinking failed to notice a six-inch (15-cm) knife in his back — until his wife woke him up. Yuri Lyalin, 53, took a bus home, ate breakfast and apparently slept like a baby before his spouse noticed a handle sticking out of his back.

Crazed Rabbit

04-18-2008, 08:19

Lemur, here's (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showpost.php?p=1894614&postcount=1888)a really odd bit of weird news.

~;p

Also, Janet Reno is on the board of the Innocence Project (http://www.innocenceproject.org/about/Board-of-Directors.php).

CR

Sasaki Kojiro

04-18-2008, 11:21

How about an earthquake in the midwest for a piece of weird news. Woke me up from a very nice sleep.

Ronin

04-18-2008, 14:53

Former Miss Italy to be Named Minister for Families

http://commentisfree.guardian.co.uk/giulia_lagana/2008/04/berlusconis_beauty_pageant.html

Mara Carfagna

https://i274.photobucket.com/albums/jj264/inf3rno_photo/mc.jpg

https://i274.photobucket.com/albums/jj264/inf3rno_photo/mc2.jpg

I think she´ll be a successful Family minister...she sure as hell makes me wanna make babies....:laugh4:

Gregoshi

04-18-2008, 16:01

Lemur, here's (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showpost.php?p=1894614&postcount=1888)a really odd bit of weird news.

:laugh4: Father Time must be tappin' Lemur on the shoulder. The Old Man of the News of the Weird thread seems to have lost a step or two to these dang Young Guns lately...but you'll always be the King of the Weird News to me Lemur. ~:pat: You can join me on the park bench, feedin' the pidgeons and swapping "Back in the day" stories. You can read me two day old weird news and I'll reply with old, stale puns. :laugh4:

Lemur

04-18-2008, 19:56

You kids get off my lawn!

Evil_Maniac From Mars

04-18-2008, 20:05

https://i274.photobucket.com/albums/jj264/inf3rno_photo/mc.jpg

Looks like the right is right again. ~;)

Lemur

04-19-2008, 00:31

Forget Wii Fit, what about Wii Strip (http://www.abcnews.go.com/Technology/story?id=4680562)?

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/wii_strip2_080417_mn.jpg

Peekaboo, a company that specializes in temporary at-home stripper polls, including one endorsed by Carmen Electra, announced this week that it's developing a strip aerobics game for the Wii.

"Peekaboo is pleased to confirm that it is in talks to develop a game for the Nintendo Wii that meets mainstream demand for the fun and fitness benefits of pole dancing," the company said in an e-mailed statement. "Peekaboo and its partners are focused on using Wii-friendly hardware to make aerobic pole dancing instantly accessible just as 'Guitar Hero' did for rock'n'roll."

Lemur

04-19-2008, 15:08

Florida legislature takes on the real threat to America: Truck Testicles (http://www.upi.com/NewsTrack/Quirks/2008/04/18/trucknutz_battle_spills_into_florida/4223/).

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/nutz-big.jpg

A Florida lawmaker is proposing a $60 fine for motorists who display "Trucknutz" -- plastic and chrome replicas of testicles -- on their vehicles.

State Sen. Carey Baker of Eustis says the ornaments are offensive to many drivers who wind up driving behind them. The South Florida Sun-Sentinel said Friday that Baker tucked the fine proposal into a larger transportation bill.

A Virginia state legislator sponsored a bill several months ago to ban the decorations after a constituent called to complain his 6-year-old daughter had spotted a pair on the back of a pickup truck and asked what they were.

The Virginia bill called for making such a display a misdemeanor, punishable by a $250 fine.

Some Florida lawmakers say "Trucknutz" may be in poor taste, but the Legislature should stick to more important things.

Gregoshi

04-19-2008, 15:54

If anyone is waiting for the balls-it-takes-to-support-this-legislation pun, it ain't comin' from me.

Knowing our government, they'll end up with compromise legislation requiring trucks sporting the Trucknutz to wear a "Truckcup" to protect them against rearend collisions.

Banquo's Ghost

04-19-2008, 18:04

Knowing our government, they'll end up with compromise legislation requiring trucks sporting the Trucknutz to wear a "Truckcup" to protect them against rearend collisions.

I thought rear-end collisions were illegal in the southern states, whilst being practically compulsory in Massachusetts?

Gregoshi

04-19-2008, 18:54

I thought rear-end collisions were illegal in the southern states...

:creep: I had me mouse pointer over the "submit" button, but decided I'm walkin' away with what little remains of my reputation. :saint:

Caius

04-19-2008, 23:52

I'm wondering why didnt they created TruckPants yet...

TB666

04-19-2008, 23:55

Forget Wii Fit, what about Wii Strip (http://www.abcnews.go.com/Technology/story?id=4680562)?

Bah, another stripped down console game :sweatdrop:

Evil_Maniac From Mars

04-20-2008, 03:05

Evil_Maniac From Mars

04-20-2008, 03:10

Not weird, but WHY?!?!? (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/7356916.stm)

~:mecry:

Lemur

04-20-2008, 03:34

In chrome?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwywugjy3BY
I feel like I've just been RickRolled (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0), but with Black Sabbath.

Crazed Rabbit

04-21-2008, 03:10

Classic:
Woman says to police officer - don't kill the animal trying to kill me - it's too expensive! (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24226224/)

CR

Vladimir

04-21-2008, 12:26

How I love The Daily Mail (http://abcnews.go.com/International/story?id=4681902&page=1). I really need a hard copy subscription here.

Blame It on the French? Nice Try

British tabloid, The Daily Mail was quick to attack the French for "le stink," reporting that "freak weather" had caused the "French stench" to come to England.

Crazed Rabbit

04-21-2008, 18:01

New South Wales cracks down harsh on heinous crime:
14 years for carrying a laser without a permit. (http://www.reuters.com/article/technologyNews/idUSSYD18105220080421?feedType=RSS&feedName=technologyNews)

CR

Husar

04-21-2008, 21:01

Very good, people who point lasers at cockpits are either terrorists or terribly stupid and I actually mean that. :thumbsdown:

Evil_Maniac From Mars

04-21-2008, 23:06

As an aspiring recreational pilot, I'll have to agree with Husar.

Erm...yeah. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/7359258.stm)

spmetla

04-22-2008, 01:03

As an aspiring recreational pilot, I'll have to agree with Husar.

Erm...yeah. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/7359258.stm)

I'm almost looking forward to Fragony's take on this. Oh, the misuse of science!

Crazed Rabbit

04-22-2008, 02:52

Very good, people who point lasers at cockpits are either terrorists or terribly stupid and I actually mean that.

Er, you guys realize this isn't the sentence for actually pointing the laser at the plane, but simply carrying a laser? :dizzy2:

CR

Husar

04-22-2008, 09:26

Well, yeah, but it doesn't surprise me after they banned carrying toothpaste in airplanes. :dizzy2:

Concerning Mecca time, I hope they're aware of the fact that the magnetic north pole moves around so going by their logic they will have to change it to some other time later on. :laugh4:
If what they claim is true anyway, last I heard the magnetic north pole is rather close to Canada so maybe we need Toronto time and besides that I would expect Mecca to be very hot if it's indeed the centre of the earth. :dizzy2:

CountArach

04-22-2008, 11:30

Er, you guys realize this isn't the sentence for actually pointing the laser at the plane, but simply carrying a laser? :dizzy2:

CR
Yep our state Government does us proud with all sorts of stupidity. Even teachers won't be allowed to use them with slide presentations. We all know how dangerous they are...

Viking

04-22-2008, 16:39

As an aspiring recreational pilot, I'll have to agree with Husar.

Erm...yeah. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/7359258.stm)

The ID's just got new friends. ~:pat:

Evil_Maniac From Mars

04-23-2008, 02:50

Jedi Attack! (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/wales/north_west/7360871.stm)

InsaneApache

04-23-2008, 11:34

Jedi Attack! (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/wales/north_west/7360871.stm)

Arwel Wynne Hughes imitated Darth Vader by wearing a bin bag

What a rubbish costume, he should get ten years for that alone. :laugh4:

Banquo's Ghost

04-23-2008, 13:21

Urgent advice for gentlemen:

Beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings. (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/04/23/congo_panic/)

Congo lynch mobs attack penis-snatching sorcerers

Todger-loss panic sweeps Kinshasa
By Lester Haines
Published Wednesday 23rd April 2008 11:30 GMT

Police in the Democratic Republic of Congo earlier this week cuffed for their own protection 13 "suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises", Reuters reports.

The arrests come after a "wave of panic" swept the capital Kinshasa last week, provoked by rumours that the unwary might be relieved of their todgers, and fuelled by radio reports advising listeners to "beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings".

The cops also detained 14 "victims" of the spam-javelin lifters, who claimed that sorcerers "simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear" - apparently in an attempt "to extort cash with the promise of a cure", according to some locals.

The mass round-up was an attempt by the authorities to prevent further attempted lynchings of alleged sorcerers. Kinshasa's police chief, Jean-Dieudonne Oleko, told Reuters: "You just have to be accused of that, and people come after you. We've had a number of attempted lynchings. You see them covered in marks after being beaten."
He added: "I'm tempted to say it's one huge joke. But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it?'"

The threat of being left without a manhood is not taken lightly in West Africa, and a decade ago 12 "suspected penis snatchers" were beaten to death by angry mobs in Ghana. Alain Kalala, who sells phone credits near a Kinshasa police station, confirmed to Reuters: "It's real. Just yesterday here, there was a man who was a victim. We saw. What was left was tiny."

Crazed Rabbit

04-24-2008, 08:05

That is one thick skull (http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/23914454/).
:inquisitive:
CR

Vladimir

04-24-2008, 14:07

So the black penis myth is international huh?

Who says The Daily Mail is full of trash (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=561037&in_page_id=1770&ct=5)? :laugh4:

Somebody disses my 2nd favorite Frenchman:

http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/29698_Belien_Smears_Dissident_Frogman

Lemur

04-24-2008, 15:51

Do we need further proof that Hello Kitty is taking over the world? Guatemalan police seized 1.2 tons of Hello Kitty-branded cocaine (http://www.kittyhell.com/2008/04/17/hello-kitty-cocaine/) this week. That's right, white powder emblazoned with the kitty. The drug lords know something we don't ...

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/hkcoke.jpg

InsaneApache

04-24-2008, 20:33

She's the 5th column for the Octosquid/Crustacean alliance. Blimey it's obvious, innit?

drone

04-24-2008, 20:44

She's the 5th column for the Octosquid/Crustacean alliance. Blimey it's obvious, innit?
We already knew that.
http://www.hello-cthulhu.com/

Gregoshi

04-24-2008, 21:22

She's the 5th column for the Octosquid/Crustacean alliance. Blimey it's obvious, innit?
What, now we're gonna have dead, white kittys washing up on the beach too? That's going to upset the little ones at their shore outings.

Crazed Rabbit

04-25-2008, 07:18

Banquo's Ghost

04-25-2008, 07:22

The British "Office of Government Commerce" has got a stiff grip on its priority of driving up standards (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2008/04/24/nogc124.xml) in procurement.

:laugh4:

And Gregoshi works there!

"They’re going to get more column inches than they could ever have expected before."

Gregoshi

04-25-2008, 13:01

And Gregoshi works there!
I didn't have a hand in the logo though.

Vladimir

04-25-2008, 13:32

Maybe they could work with AFRICOM.

https://img174.imageshack.us/img174/3971/africomcrestreducedrg0.gif

Lemur

04-26-2008, 00:03

Look out! Bee tornado! (http://www.local6.com/news/15982205/detail.html)

A giant cloud of thousands of bees mysteriously appeared and began to swirl in a "tornado pattern" around a Central Florida Mexican restaurant.

Customers at Oxie's restaurant located near Highway 17-92 and Plymouth Avenue in DeLand said they noticed a cloud in the sky and thought it was raining. They then realized, the cloud was a swarm of bees.

Witnesses said the bees began to swirl like a tornado and menace customers Thursday.

"I looked and it was like a tornado of bees just all around our parking lot, swarming," said restaurant worker Marie Olson.

Lemur

04-26-2008, 15:41

We're weird about kids in the U.S.A. First, an eight-year-old gets charged with a felony over crayons (http://blogs.usatoday.com/ondeadline/2008/04/fla-cops-charge.html?csp=34). Then the Illinois State Police issue a gun permit to a 10-month-old (http://blogs.usatoday.com/ondeadline/2007/05/police_issue_gu.html).

Last Name: Ludwig
First Name: Bubba
Date of Birth: 2006
Sex: Male Race: White
Height: 2 ft 3 in Weight: 20 lbs

Have you ever been convicted of a felony? No
In the past 5 years, have you been a patient in any medical facility or part of any medical facility used primarily for the care or treatment of persons for mental illness? No
Are you addicted to narcotics? No
Are you mentally retarded? No
Are you an alien who is unlawfully present in the United States? No

Signature: [a scribble]

There's one important question they didn't ask: Are you an infant?

Uesugi Kenshin

04-26-2008, 16:48

Crazed Rabbit

04-26-2008, 17:35

In Illinois, unlike free states, one has to have a permit to merely own a gun. As the link states, somebody bought the kid a shotgun for when he grows up, and so he needed a permit.

And in weird news, save the date (http://www.low-flowtoiletblowup.com/) for this exciting event!

Also, how stupid discerning do you have to be to want a $300k watch that doesn't tell you the time (http://blogs.wsj.com/wealth/2008/04/25/the-300000-watch-that-doesnt-tell-time/?mod=WSJBlog?mod=homeblogmod_thewealthreport)?

CR

Evil_Maniac From Mars

04-27-2008, 18:43

This deserves a large WTF? (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7369851.stm)

Crazed Rabbit

04-27-2008, 20:07

Some politicians in Tennessee are trying to do away with those pesky constitution freedoms (http://tennessean.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080422/NEWS02/80422065) that make it so hard to convict people:

Defense attorneys would be banned from advertising their expertise with drunken driving cases under a bill advancing in the Senate.

Sen. Rosalind Kurita, a Clarksville Democrat, successfully added the provision to a bill that would create an online registry of repeat DUI offenders in Tennessee.
Advertisement

Kurita says officials have a hard enough time convicting drunken drivers without lawyers advertising their expertise in the field and offering discounts to DUI defendants.

I think the ***** needs to read the constitution. :book:

CR

Gregoshi

04-28-2008, 06:09

Also, how stupid discerning do you have to be to want a $300k watch that doesn't tell you the time (http://blogs.wsj.com/wealth/2008/04/25/the-300000-watch-that-doesnt-tell-time/?mod=WSJBlog?mod=homeblogmod_thewealthreport)?
This kind of dispels the saying "Time is money". Apparently, no time is money.

Does the advertising tout the
design of the watch as
"timeless"?
:thinking2:

CountArach

04-28-2008, 12:42

A few days old, but nevertheless...

English village votes to be Welsh! (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/wales/7364464.stm)

Residents in an English village have "voted" to become part of Wales, even though the border lies nine miles away.

What started as a 1 April spoof in Audlem, Cheshire, has gathered support and resulted in 63% of those voting in an online poll supporting the move.

Some residents want to make a case for securing Welsh benefits such as free hospital parking and prescriptions.

Vladimir

04-28-2008, 13:57

In Illinois, unlike free states, one has to have a permit to merely own a gun. As the link states, somebody bought the kid a shotgun for when he grows up, and so he needed a permit.

CR

:logic:

Fragony

04-29-2008, 16:53

May divorce be with you, Han Solo shagged my first love princes Leia, on the set. Prick.

CountArach

04-30-2008, 08:57

Chair Sniffing Politicians? Kinky... (http://afp.google.com/article/ALeqM5g4O_UaDvY7txGiFv2Oui3Uja_pqg)

SYDNEY (AFP) — An Australian political leader broke down at a news conference Tuesday as he admitted that he had sniffed the chair of a female colleague, local media reported.

The confession came from the leader of the conservative Liberal Party in Western Australia, Troy Buswell, who has previously owned up to snapping the bra strap of an opposition party staffer.

.........

But tears welled in his eyes and he choked up when asked how his family had reacted to the wide publicity given to the incident since the story became public at the weekend, the national AAP news agency said.

After a brief break for a drink of water, he replied: "These are difficult issues for me to deal with and they are very difficult issues for my family to deal with."

Banquo's Ghost

04-30-2008, 15:32

Some hot Lesbian action (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/1912191/Islanders-want-legal-right-to-be-%27true-lesbians%27.html).

Islanders want legal right to be 'true lesbians'

Last Updated: 11:59AM BST 30/04/2008

Residents of the Greek island of Lesbos launched a legal action yesterday against a homosexual group, insisting that only islanders had the right to call themselves lesbians.

The inhabitants of the island said they were attempting to ban the Greek Gay and Lesbian Union (Olke) from bearing the name "lesbian".

Residents of Lesbos now suffer "psychological and moral rape" from the "seizure" of their island's name by gays, according to the complaint by Dimitris Lambrou, a local activist. He has set out his argument in "The Misfortune of Being Lesbian", published on his website.

Mr Lambrou, who has the support of a member of a nationalist pagan association, said that the case was likely to come before a court in Athens in June.

But Evangelia Vlam, a spokesman for Olke, dismissed the claim.

"This affair is totally ridiculous," she said. "But if we are summoned by the courts, we will be heard."

Lesbos is synonymous with the love verses of the poet Sappho, who expressed her love of other women in poetry written in the early sixth century BC.

It is the third largest of the Greek islands and lies just a few miles off the Turkish mainland. It is often referred to in Greece not as Lesbos but as Mytilene, after its capital. The resort of Eressos is a popular tourist destination for lesbians.

Surely the only fair way to solve this is by mud-wrestling match-ups?

Viking

04-30-2008, 18:49

Hmm, reminds me of a certain thread som time ago...

Vladimir

05-01-2008, 13:16

seireikhaan

05-02-2008, 04:42

Man regrows finger. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7354458.stm)

This is quite scary. We've invented Torgo's Executive Powder 1,000 years ahead of schedule!:sweatdrop:
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3001/2375047569_c2cb46afda.jpg

Crazed Rabbit

05-02-2008, 05:45

LA bans street vendors from selling 'bacon hot dogs' because adding that cooked bacon makes an otherwise acceptable hot dog into some sort of health risk. Natural, the food cops throw away the terrible food they seize. For delicious irony, see the below story. Oh, again naturally, they throw people who give in to those people wanting bacon dogs into jail for a month or more. So, the vendors with permits don't sell bacon dogs and customers go to vendors without permits from the city. For a government wanting to increase food safety, it's mission accomplished. (http://www.theagitator.com/2008/04/29/drew-carey-presents-battle-of-the-bacon-dogs/) Unsurprisingly, some of the people featured are large.

A French Minister said:

The French, whose farmers over the years have become addicted to generous government handouts, argue that agriculture subsidies must be continued and even increased in order to encourage more food production, especially with looming shortages.

Last week, French Agriculture Minister Michel Barnier warned E.U. officials against "too much trust in the free market."

"We must not leave the vital issue of feeding people," he said, "to the mercy of market laws and international speculation."
In regards to the global food shortage. (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24334375/) Gee, Mr. Socialist, how do you think we got the fuel shortage in the first place? Maybe all those barriers to free trade and the government endorsed idiocy of ethanol fuel?

Canada: Land of the Free, so long as you don't slightly aggravate the authorities (http://www.canada.com/montrealgazette/story.html?id=c762e33f-ff08-4867-b174-22eb6aabdf43&k=84541).

The North Platte Police declare a War on ... Wedgies (http://northplattebulletin.com/index.asp?show=news&action=readStory&storyID=14427&pageID=3&showTB=true)!

Also, stay on the good side of the law and avoid getting a friendly visit from the local SWAT by not committing the heinous crime of owning a fish tank. (http://www.kare11.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=509182)

CR

Lemur

05-02-2008, 13:48

Teen planned to kill Jesus. (http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/04/29/teen.charged.ap/index.html) Talk about unclear on the concept ...

A teen accused of plotting to blow up his high school told police that he wanted to die, go to heaven and kill Jesus, federal authorities said Tuesday.

Makanyane

05-02-2008, 16:49

Well its refreshing to see somewhere not overcome by the 'health and safety culture', but umm, don't try this at home. (http://www.itv.com/News/Articles/Devotees-drop-babies-50ft-for-luck-28483519.html)

Gregoshi

05-02-2008, 21:00

The North Platte Police declare a War on ... Wedgies (http://northplattebulletin.com/index.asp?show=news&action=readStory&storyID=14427&pageID=3&showTB=true)!

Are wedgies iwwegal in North Pwatte without a wicense or wegistwation?

Evil_Maniac From Mars

05-02-2008, 22:02

Inter-species sex - more common than we think?

Weird. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7379554.stm)

Gregoshi

05-02-2008, 22:19

Nerds of the sea need lovin' too.

Sometimes it is not good to be king (penguin).

Big King Sanctaphrax

05-03-2008, 02:20

Man tries to cash 360 billion dollar cheque. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7380637.stm)

I especially like the fact that he was carrying both drugs and an illegal gun at the time. He's not exactly Paul Newman in The Sting, is he?

Gregoshi

05-03-2008, 03:47

Everything is bigger in Texas - even its morons.

Adrian II

05-03-2008, 11:54

Everything is bigger in Texas - even its morons.Don't underestimate Pennsylvania. Keystone cops, meet Keystone robber.

In October last year a man in the city of Pittsburgh was arrested after he handed over a counterfeit $1m bill to a cashier at a supermarket and asked for change.Anyway, what are these people thinking? I mean, cashing $360 billion..

'Small bills, Sir?'
'Yeah, just dump them in my two mile truck convoy.'

Ironside

05-03-2008, 15:28

I mean, cashing $360 billion..

'Small bills, Sir?'
'Yeah, just dump them in my two mile truck convoy.'

Good luck moving 360.000 tonnes of dollar bills with only a two mile truck convoy. :laugh4:

I wonder if it's even legal, you would create an extreme shortage of bills in the country by doing that (it's about half of the currency circulation in the US atm).

Fragony

05-04-2008, 14:32

40% rise of brittish men who don't want to have sex anymore. Half of the men questioned lost all sexual drive.

I wonder why.

Gregoshi

05-04-2008, 16:07

In today's world, time is money - and, hey, two minutes is two minutes!

Banquo's Ghost

05-04-2008, 16:19

Is it correct to describe such a statistic as a "rise"? :inquisitive:

Adrian II

05-04-2008, 16:55

40% rise of brittish men who don't want to have sex anymore. Half of the men questioned lost all sexual drive.

I wonder why.Lost it on the way to the pub? I mean alcoholism is all I can think of. Well, except in the case of Welshmen and their beauty queens.

My (not even) two cents.

Evil_Maniac From Mars

05-04-2008, 17:26

I'm hungry. (http://www.weeklystandard.com/Content/Public/Articles/000/000/015/065njdoe.asp)

Lemur

05-04-2008, 17:47

A "clear majority" of the panel adopted what it called a "biocentric" moral view, meaning that "living organisms should be considered morally for their own sake because they are alive." Thus, the panel determined that we cannot claim "absolute ownership" over plants and, moreover, that "individual plants have an inherent worth."
So the Swiss have discovered Buddhism. This is news?

What is clear, however, is that Switzerland's enshrining of "plant dignity" is a symptom of a cultural disease that has infected Western civilization, causing us to lose the ability to think critically and distinguish serious from frivolous ethical concerns. It also reflects the triumph of a radical anthropomorphism that views elements of the natural world as morally equivalent to people.
The writer needs to take a horse-sized chill pill. Some Swiss people have decided they're into universal respect for life. This has been a functioning worldview for millennia (cf. Buddhism, Hinduism, pantheism, etc.) and does not warrant all of the heavy breathing. You would think the Weekly Standard could find something a little more worthy to panic about.

InsaneApache

05-04-2008, 18:08

But then, while walking home, he casually "decapitates" some wildflowers with his scythe. The panel decries this act as immoral, though its members can't agree why.

Die daisys, die! ~:mad :daisy: :beadyeyes2: :sneaky:

Adrian II

05-04-2008, 19:21

So the Swiss have discovered Buddhism. This is news?Dang, I ate snails tonight and I didn't read them their rights. Can I still enter Switzerland?

Ronin

05-04-2008, 22:33

get rich or die trying indeed :laugh4:

Rapper 50 Cent gets robbed while on stage in Angola (http://backinonepiece.blogspot.com/2008/05/50-cent-robbed-in-angola.html)

I'm so disappointed in 50...a 'gangsta' like him gets robbed like that!
he didn´t bust a cap on the *****'s ass or nothin! :2thumbsup: :clown: :laugh4:

Gregoshi

05-04-2008, 22:37

Crime doesn't pay when you're robbin' 50 Cent.

Vladimir

05-05-2008, 14:40

I'm hungry. (http://www.weeklystandard.com/Content/Public/Articles/000/000/015/065njdoe.asp)

:inquisitive: Europe needs another war to put things in perspective.

Maybe the counsel should have just held their breath (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/7376101.stm) and counted to 1024 before making such a decision.

Gregoshi

05-05-2008, 15:19

Maybe the counsel should have just held their breath (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/7376101.stm) and counted to 1024 before making such a decision.
Inhale and have to listen to the screams of the oxygen and carbon atoms? You're a heartless fiend Vlad.

Vlad the Inhaler :no:

Ronin

05-05-2008, 15:31

:inquisitive: Europe needs another war to put things in perspective.

Maybe the counsel should have just held their breath (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/7376101.stm) and counted to 1024 before making such a decision.

the medium IQ level on the room where that was voted must have been the same as the room temperature.

Vladimir

05-05-2008, 16:23

Inhale and have to listen to the screams of the oxygen and carbon atoms? You're a heartless fiend Vlad.

Vlad the Inhaler :no:

Next we'll hear that the altering of O2 to form CO2 is inhumane.

Adrian II

05-05-2008, 21:41

Next we'll hear that the altering of O2 to form CO2 is inhumane.Time to get in touch with my inner molecule.

Marshal Murat

05-05-2008, 22:27

Those Brazilians have some nuts (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7384143.stm)

-who held three Brazilian Jewish youths hostage in a Warsaw hotel room.-

Craterus

05-05-2008, 22:34

I can't tell if I should find this funny. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/tyne/7378695.stm)

Adrian II

05-05-2008, 22:47

I can't tell if I should find this funny. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/tyne/7378695.stm)I bloody well can. I think it's a great gesture. These days every Brit is caught on cctv if he so much as farts, let alone if he ventures outside his home.
Jeremy Forsberg, of the Northumbria Safer Roads Initiative, said: "This behaviour is simply ridiculous - it's clear what he was thinking with what he had on show.It is. He's fed up with nanny watching him.
"Not only is it disrespectful, but distasteful and offensive, particularly to children who may have been exposed to this nonsense."Oh, think of all the little children. :drama2:

Since when are children are measure of public life in the UK?

Gregoshi

05-06-2008, 00:36

Jeremy Forsberg, of the Northumbria Safer Roads Initiative, said: "This behaviour is simply ridiculous - it's clear what he was thinking with what he had on show.

Looks to me like he was checking the rearview mirror.

Evil_Maniac From Mars

05-06-2008, 01:40

Remember everything we've heard about the Brits?

It's true. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7382750.stm)

Lemur

05-06-2008, 03:09

Government officials planning food supplies said the tea situation would be "very serious" after a nuclear war.
But what about the crumpets, man? What about the crumpets?

seireikhaan

05-06-2008, 03:59

But what about the crumpets, man? What about the crumpets?
Good sir, are you insinuating that you would actually ever go so far as to eat a crumpet? EAT it? What about the crumpet's feelings? Doesn't the crumpet get to have a chance to defend itself against the savage, imperialist humans bent on its consumption?

Gregoshi

05-06-2008, 04:16

And the tea. Cut, dried and boiled. :skull: Can murder be civilized? The English seem to think so. Heathens!

:laugh4:

Banquo's Ghost

05-06-2008, 06:56

But what about the crumpets, man? What about the crumpets?

My dear fellow, the crumpet would have been well taken care of. :toff:

"I say, ding dong."

For the foreign non-tea-drinking masses, look up Leslie Phillips and this (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thinking_man%27s_crumpet). :wink:

Adrian II

05-06-2008, 10:12

Looks to me like he was checking the rearview mirror.Not sure about him, but I bet everyone else on that road did.

English assassin

05-06-2008, 22:32

Remember everything we've heard about the Brits?

It's true. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7382750.stm)

I find this profoundly disturbing. Faced with the death, by fire, blast and radiation, of half the population, British civil servants were worried about preserving continuity of tea supplies?

I shall have to improve my opinion of our civil servants immediately. Can't have the end of the world without a cup of tea you know.

Louis VI the Fat

05-07-2008, 02:15

Can't have the end of the world without a cup of tea Gotta love the British. Stiff upper-lipped to the end. :2thumbsup:

You know, with an attitude like that, you people could've conquered yourselves an Empire that spans the globe!

uh, hang on...
:thinking2:

Somebody Else

05-09-2008, 11:44

Bit of science from the Beeb. Something about birds being receptive to a little, warming... (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7390109.stm)

InsaneApache

05-09-2008, 15:13

Great tits cope well with warming

I couldn't have put it better meself. :laugh4:

Viking

05-09-2008, 16:54

Bit of science from the Beeb. Something about birds being receptive to a little, warming... (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7390109.stm)

Teh old. :laugh4:

Crazed Rabbit

05-09-2008, 17:46

Down in Berkeley, California today, Code Pink is having its "witches, crones and sirens" themed anti-war protest (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,354400,00.html).

Apparently a bunch of old feminists wearing pink didn't stop the war, so now they're trying witchcraft.

In related news, a man saved himself by giving himself a tracheotomy with a steak knife in the middle of the night. (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,354655,00.html)

Also, it's not every day that the official response from a city is: "poop happens" (http://wcbstv.com/topstories/Dog.Dung.Claim.2.718773.html). Of course, tis not every day you sue a city for stepping in dog poop.

CR

Ronin

05-09-2008, 19:04

Teacher Accused Of Wizardry

Teacher Jim Piculas does a magic trick where a toothpick disappears and then reappears.

Piculas recently did the 30-second trick in front of a classroom at Rushe Middle School in Land 'O Lakes.

Piculas said he then got a call from the supervisor of teachers, saying he'd been accused of wizardry.

"I get a call the middle of the day from head of supervisor of substitute teachers. He says, 'Jim, we have a huge issue, you can't take any more assignments you need to come in right away,'" he said.

Piculas said he did not know of any other accusations that would have led to the action.

The teacher said he is concerned that the incident may prevent him from getting future jobs.

http://www.local6.com/news/16169506/detail.html
http://cfnews13.com/News/Local/2008/5/6/teacher_accused_of_wizardry.html
http://www.wftv.com/news/16168335/detail.html?1

if I was this guy I´d be thinking about getting out of town.....those folks might be out collecting wood and kindling.

:inquisitive: :laugh4:

ShadesPanther

05-09-2008, 20:02

Teacher Accused Of Wizardry

http://www.local6.com/news/16169506/detail.html
http://cfnews13.com/News/Local/2008/5/6/teacher_accused_of_wizardry.html
http://www.wftv.com/news/16168335/detail.html?1

if I was this guy I´d be thinking about getting out of town.....those folks might be out collecting wood and kindling.

:inquisitive: :laugh4:

You have performed wizardry in presence of muggles and fully aware that it violates the statute of secrecy. Please hand over your wand for its disposal.

edyzmedieval

05-10-2008, 21:08

You have performed wizardry in presence of muggles and fully aware that it violates the statute of secrecy. Please hand over your wand for its disposal.

:laugh4:

Lemur

05-11-2008, 05:57

How dare a substitute teacher corrupt your Floridians with a disappearing toothpick? Yet more proof that God hates Florida (like the hurricanes weren't a big enough hint).

Meanwhile, the BBC steps up to the next front in the Global War on Piracy: knitting groups. (http://technollama.blogspot.com/2008/05/doctor-who-partnerts-in-copyright-crime.html) Quick summary (http://www.boingboing.net/2008/05/09/bbc-sends-legal-thre.html):

[Knitter] Mazz has been posting knitting patterns to help other people re-create characters from the cult series using only two sticks and ball of wool. Impressive? The BBC, producers of the series, didn't think so. They sent Mazz a letter, which states:

We note that you are supplying DR WHO items, and using trade marks and copyright owned by BBC. You have not been given permission to use the DR WHO brand and we ask that you remove from your site any designs connected with DR WHO. Please reply acknowledging receipt of this email, and confirm that you will remove the DR WHO items as requested.

A sample of the offending knitware:

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/20080329_0255.jpg