1 Word Story

[theKyl]

to cheer and shout

[theKyl]

until the silent ruler gave his reply:

[Dîn-Heru]

Be silent you,

[some_totalwar_dude]

Blaspheme SPAM

[Ser Clegane]

lest you will be flogged

[Demon of Light]

thou art more lovely and more temperate

[theKyl]

(399)

[theKyl]

(400)

...or get shot by DoL

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

.The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune

[--<-Dan The Dagger Man->--]

don&#39;t actualy exist

[71-hour Ahmed]

but big sticks do, and I have one.

[some_totalwar_dude]

the boogie man

[some_totalwar_dude]

wanted a stick to

[Divine Wind]

. The boogie man would do anything for this stick

[Sigurd]

(but)rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

and the quality of mercy is not strained

[Brutal DLX]

yet the attention span of our readers is

[Matt Deckard]

is low, and although the fighting style of our readers is

[theKyl]

rather small

[Ser Clegane]

the prospect of the upcoming weekend makes them fearless

[some_totalwar_dude]

cuz they realy look foreward on drinkin much beer http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/smokin.gif

[Ser Clegane]

and making out with their beloved ones

[some_totalwar_dude]

and drinking more beer http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/smokin.gif

[Ser Clegane]

in turns with smoking pot

[some_totalwar_dude]

did I mentiond beer?

[LittleGrizzly]

so they drunk beer and smoked pot until one of them said "mars bar"

[Matt Deckard]

Which caused everyone to become...

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

Cambodian Dagger-Ninjas

[Demon of Light]

Sigurd: and summer&#39;s lease hath all too short a date

[Demon of Light]

Quote[/b] (Big King Sanctaphrax @ May 22 2003,09:33)].The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
or by opposing, end them.

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

The quality of mercy is not strained

[some_totalwar_dude]

except when it&#39;s raining

[Demon of Light]

It dropeth as the gentle rain from heaven upon the place beneath.

(In fairness, I had to ask my mom about that one. I didn&#39;t know it myself)

[some_totalwar_dude]

http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif

where monkeys preformed a suspicious sundance

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

and found that a rose by any other name,

[Demon of Light]

would still smell the same.

[some_totalwar_dude]

Where the h@ll where we talking about http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/confused.gif

[Sigurd]

Quote[/b] (some_totalwar_dude @ May 24 2003,23:47)]Where the h@ll where we talking about http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/confused.gif
hehe...
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,

[Dîn-Heru]

when butterflies fly in my head. http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/dizzy.gif

[some_totalwar_dude]

I get dizzy cuz they bump against my skull

[ELITEofFOGOLIN]

Hier hängst du dauernd rum kyl http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/eek.gif
Ne ne

[ELITEofFOGOLIN]

Klär mich mal auf worum geht es hier eigendlich ?

[71-hour Ahmed]

umz chyuc yuc nupot no sludi

(its not gibberish btw, but I&#39;m pretty damn sure no-one here has any idea what it is. why makes it kinda pointless. hmmm.)

to be or not to be,

[ELITEofFOGOLIN]

you can´t german ? http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

[71-hour Ahmed]

Nein. ich kann nicht deutsch sprechen, Ich bin eine dumfkopf

[ELITEofFOGOLIN]

http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif muss man dumm sein,wenn mann kein deutsch kann ?

[71-hour Ahmed]

ja ,ja ,ja Ich habe keine verstanden, und meine grammatik ist Scheiße.

[ELITEofFOGOLIN]

LOL denks du meine ist besser ? NEIN

Ich kann kaum english und mein Deutsch ist auch nicht das beste http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/smokin.gif
Egal hauptsache man kann es verstehn

Dein Deutsch ist GUT

[Demon of Light]

Sigurd: and often is its gold complexion dimm&#39;d ( I THINK that dimmed was truncated so that the form could be preserved but I&#39;m uncertain)

Some_totalwar_dude: We&#39;re quoting Shakespeare at each other

71-Ahmed: that is the question.

[Sigurd]

And every fair from fair sometime declines,

[Demon of Light]

by chance or nature&#39;s changing course untrimm&#39;d

[Sigurd]

But thy eternal summer shall not fade,

[Demon of Light]

nor lose possession of that fair thou owest(sp?)

[Sigurd]

;Nor shall Death brag thou wander&#39;st in his shade,

[Brutal DLX]

for thou hast been given life for all eternity.

(heh)

[Sigurd]

Quote[/b] (Brutal DLX @ May 26 2003,18:16)]for thou hast been given life for all eternity.

(heh)
(sorry m8...)
When in eternal lines to time thou growest;

[Brutal DLX]

(don&#39;t worry, didn&#39;t cite Will, was my own creation)

[ELITEofFOGOLIN]

incomprehensibly

[ELITEofFOGOLIN]

clumsily

[baz]

*spam*

[some_totalwar_dude]

foolishnis (sp?)

[Matt Deckard]

Brown

[some_totalwar_dude]

panties

[Matt Deckard]

took a shotgun to

[Demon of Light]

As long as men can breathe and eyes can see,

[ELITEofFOGOLIN]

it goes on hunts,

[Sigurd]

so long lives this, and this gives life to thee.
fin

(phew.. This poem was one of the reasons my beautiful wife chose me as her husband, I sent it to her anonymously on a valentines day, and she spent quite a while trying to figure out who it was from. She never found out (I went to another part of town and posted it ) until I mentioned while we where dating that I liked sonnet 18 and quoted it from memory. She remembered the valentine card and I had to confess and got the best kiss ever. http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif So you unmarried guys, go and do ye likewise http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wave.gif )

[Brutal DLX]

"There is no fin in this thread", shouted the Viking angrily and

(Some girls are just sooo easy to impress, don&#39;t you agree Sigurd? http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif)

[Ser Clegane]

used his huge axe to decapitate some

[some_totalwar_dude]

possesed rabbit warriors

[ELITEofFOGOLIN]

Garden dwarves

[Demon of Light]

( This really is a good sonnet to memorize. Not only does one look good for having learned some Shakespeare by rote, but it also is among the most romantic sentiments one can espouse to a woman. Assuming the woman is smart enough to understand it, of course. I&#39;m happy to see it worked out for A.K.A [AKA Sigurd] http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif )

[some_totalwar_dude]

Quote[/b] (ELITEofFOGOLIN @ May 27 2003,19:30)]Garden dwarves
who kept my teddybear hostage http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/mecry.gif

[Ser Clegane]

with mustard and

[Demon of Light]

(Demon of Light shoots the angry Viking)

[ELITEofFOGOLIN]

ketchup

[Brutal DLX]

and by tying their shoelaces together (those bastards&#33http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif

[some_totalwar_dude]

Quote[/b] (Brutal DLX @ May 28 2003,11:39)]and by tying their shoelaces together (those bastards&#33http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif
(hehe Rowan Atkison in hot shots 2 isn&#39;t it? http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif )

They let him play the horrible game army men all day

[Ser Clegane]

causing his brain cells to fuse

[some_totalwar_dude]

with the chair he sat on

(we&#39;r still talking about my teddybear ok? http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif )

[Matt Deckard]

and the chair said:

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

&#39;Enormous glass egg&#39;

[Matt Deckard]

and then some firemen came, and the lights cause the chair to go into an epileptic fit

[_Martyr_]

with lots of foaming at the mouth...

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

~SPASM~

[Matt Deckard]

After spasming (as most chairs do) the chair equipped his trusty

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

potato

[Matt Deckard]

and put it in the microwave until

[some_totalwar_dude]

It began to dance.... CHIWAUWA

[Sigurd]

The firemen, thinking the house was on fire, broke down the door with their fearsome firemen axes

[Demon of Light]

but found only

[Ser Clegane]

a pair of scantily clad

[Demon of Light]

berserker jarls.

[Sigurd]

The Berserkers responded accordingly

[Ser Clegane]

by singing chansons about

[Matt Deckard]

Pretty red roses

[Sigurd]

that would lie on the firefighters’ graves after the Berserkers had cut the firefighters’ heads off.

[Skomatth]

the bagpipemen attn.ding the funeral...

[_Martyr_]

went commando and a breeze... http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/frown.gif

[Skomatth]

allowed all the chicks to see...

[71-hour Ahmed]

what K-Y and myself wear under under kilts (oops)

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

. Arrests were made

[Skomatth]

surprisingly solypist was snapping photos

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

of fat

[Dîn-Heru]

that

[some_totalwar_dude]

Jiggeld

[Skomatth]

like a

[some_totalwar_dude]

Big King Sanctaphrax when you tell him "cute" jokes

[Demon of Light]

(Welcome back, Skomatth)

[Sigurd]

about Obese chicks (your mama is so fat...).


Quote[/b] (Demon of Light @ May 28 2003,02:30)]I&#39;m happy to see it worked out for A.K.A [AKA Sigurd] http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif )
(Success comes in many forms and is often thrown in your direction effortlessly. This was a worker though and it took me 5 years to close the deal... but thanks anyways, you... Chilango... with Einstein relations http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif )

[Demon of Light]

The police arrested him as well.

[Brutal DLX]

You bastards http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

[Dîn-Heru]

Genghis Kahn yelled as he

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

cuddled

[some_totalwar_dude]

monkey incest

[Sigurd]

(lets put some omnipotentcy back in this story...)

. Three glorified beings suddenly appeared and presented themselves as Manwë, Aulë and Ulmo the gods of Air, Earth and water

[ELITEofFOGOLIN]

Here the Spam rom ? http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

[ELITEofFOGOLIN]

100 http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/cool.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/idea.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/shock.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wave.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wacko.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/pat.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/argue.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/mecry.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/mad.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/angry.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/eek.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/rolleyes.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/frown.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/redface.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/tongue.gif

[Demon of Light]

The glorified beings

[Demon of Light]

(3869 posts. 155 pages.

[Divine Wind]

Spam spam spam http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/eek.gif

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

tossed a salad

[Teutonic Knight]

to celebrate TK&#39;s 1000th post



(I am really sorry about working on this thread Demon, I simply haven&#39;t found the time lately with school and all (you know how teachers think their&#39;s is the only class http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/rolleyes.gif )

I&#39;m going to work on it now and I should be done with it by the weekend and present it to you on monday http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/smokin.gif )

[Dîn-Heru]

Manvë raised his voice and declared

[Ser Clegane]

that free beer and funny hats should be given to all to

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

punish

[Dîn-Heru]

them for not

[Demon of Light]

celebrating TK&#39;s 1000th post.

[Sigurd]

*cough* Yes... punish us severely, because… we have been…yes, we have been neglecting our duties. We want much of those…punishments…in large barrels, please.

[Dîn-Heru]

Manvë then called on the Vanya elves, and bade them roll out the barrels.

[Demon of Light]

The barrels were opened and

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

thousands of miniature

[Ser Clegane]

winged yellow monkeys

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

audited

[BDC]

Several...

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

P45s

[Demon of Light]

. Just then it became obvious to all that

[LittleGrizzly]

they had forgotten thier +5 charisma swords and +3.5 resistance to flying monkey jackets

[jones21]

then

[jones21]

the mokeys turned out to be strippers in costumes

[Demon of Light]

and we all liked them much better after

[Ser Clegane]

although they were still kind of miniature

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

and sociopathic

[Brutal DLX]

and male.

[Divine Wind]

However

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

their philosophy

[Sigurd]

sucked

[Matt Deckard]

and blowed, which was once thought impossible, but not when

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

You are sensationally(IT eh, Matt?)

[Matt Deckard]

Dual-Mouthed Mr yakisama was dual-mouthed, and went a a magical quest for the

[Divine Wind]

The Holy Hamster, which

[Matt Deckard]

didnt provide eternal life, but made a very tasty meal if served with noodles.

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

And Soy sauce

[Matt Deckard]

But the soy sauce was brewed with Uber-guts. which caused the hamster carcuss to

[some_totalwar_dude]

explode http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/eek.gif

[Matt Deckard]

Mr yagimata&#39;s eventual death (caused by the hamster explosion) made his eldest son, Kanaida, to go on a quest to stop the unstoppable...

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

Unstopper of Unstoppableness

[BDC]

Which he did by fornicating with a...

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

whale-sized cucumber

[Sigurd]

and resulted in a

[jones21]

the whale sized cucumber stuck in his...

[LittleGrizzly]

mouth which resulted in him asking his son to go on a quest for....

[Demon of Light]

his intelligence back.

[Brutal DLX]

Hearing of the soy sauce incident, Kikkoman appeared

[Demon of Light]

and spewed out a tirade of such intense vitriol that

[Ser Clegane]

everybody went silent in awe

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

of his soy saucyness

[Dîn-Heru]

the extalted (sp?) Kikkoman

[Matt Deckard]

equipped his mondo-surfer-dude-blade-of-catching-waves and decided that

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

enough was enough

[Ser Clegane]

and went berserk, screaming:

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

BBC ONE

[Dîn-Heru]

Ulmo, God of the Oceans, rose through the waves carrying a

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

Pork and herb sausage

[Ser Clegane]

which was the reincarnation of

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

the whale-sized cucumber

[Dîn-Heru]

the Pork and herb sausage

[Matt Deckard]

Imploded

[Dîn-Heru]

and created

[Matt Deckard]

a giant pink panda

[Demon of Light]

Given its rarity, the Pink panda was moved to the San Diego Zoo.

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

and was brutally capitalised on by ruthless Zoo Executives

[Ser Clegane]

waering pointy yellow hats

[Demon of Light]

Simon de Montfort the elder emerged to

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

sodomise

[Demon of Light]

the once and future

[Dîn-Heru]

King of Sweden

[Demon of Light]

with a long wooden

[Dîn-Heru]

sword

[Demon of Light]

. The Swede appealed to

[Dîn-Heru]

the king

[Demon of Light]

of England

[Brutal DLX]

because that old bastard had a lot of wood

[Ser Clegane]

in his bedroom for

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

rumbling

[Dîn-Heru]

in the Bronx

[some_totalwar_dude]

with J.lo

[Dîn-Heru]

and Jackie Chan

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

. THWAP said

[Dîn-Heru]

Jackie Chan as he

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

Nunchaku&#39;d

[Dîn-Heru]

a thug named God, who was

[Demon of Light]

in service to

[Sigurd]

the King of...

[Skomatth]

Krusty Krabs

[Demon of Light]

. God appealed to God and

[Ser Clegane]

and graciously granted him(her?)self

[Demon of Light]

the power to

[Ser Clegane]

turn crap into strawberry icecream

[Demon of Light]

. With His newfound power, God the thug

[Brutal DLX]

put the crap on the king, but

[Sigurd]

the damn spell didn&#39;t work, so...

[Demon of Light]

the furious English King

[Sigurd]

smelled like a welch dunghole.

[Demon of Light]

He ordered Simon de Montfort the elder to

[Matt Deckard]

Hang from a large cliff while

[MonkeyMan]

Dying of shock that this thread is still going. &#39;Do you people have no shame?&#39; asked a passing gibbon.

http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/eek.gif

[Matt Deckard]

(hey monkeyman, its the quickest way to change my avatar&#33http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wacko.gif

[some_totalwar_dude]

Quote[/b] (MonkeyMan @ June 05 2003,14:31)]Dying of shock that this thread is still going. &#39;Do you people have no shame?&#39; asked a passing gibbon.

http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/eek.gif
so MonkeyMan was finaly dead http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

[BDC]

And he was buried where he fell in...

[Brutal DLX]

love with a gimpy gibbon http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

[some_totalwar_dude]

called wanda

[Demon of Light]

The now undead, lovestruck MonkeyMan

[some_totalwar_dude]

orderd a peanutbutter pizza

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

and a large

[71-hour Ahmed]

mail order bride

(im back in here, oh god no, its got me again)

[Demon of Light]

As one might expect, the pizza arrived before the bride.

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

This enabled

[Divine Wind]

a magic dragon

[Sigurd]

fly

[Monk]

to take away

(im back aswell...havnt looked in here for so long and already there&#39;s 160 pages http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif )

[DemonArchangel]

*runs around with his hair on fire screaming like a moron

[Dîn-Heru]

its

[Demon of Light]

lighter fluid

[Matt Deckard]

and scorch the depths of Demon of Lights underpants, making him

[andy119]

scream like a gurl

[Ser Clegane]

and dancing around in circles like a

[Sigurd]

...nother girl

[Dîn-Heru]

Demon of Light

[Dramicus]

Loves to dress like...

[Dîn-Heru]

Janet Reno

[MrNiceGuy]

Waiting for a date with Ashcroft on a dimly lit street corner

[Matt Deckard]

while smoking a carton of smokes...at ONCE

[Dîn-Heru]

The smoke

[Divine Wind]

caused a strange sensation

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

in his colonic

[Demon of Light]

doohickey.

(Very funny folks. I imagine if you were set on fire, you&#39;d scream like a girl too.)

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

. Suddenly his irrigation system

[some_totalwar_dude]

went on a holiday

[Dramicus]

and DOL leaked all over....