1 Word Story

[o_loompah_the_delayer]

and esoteric bathing salts

[Eastside Character]

causing an irreversible process called

[Beirut]

Bad Bush Syndrome

[antek]

which was first introduced in 1991

[Somebody Else]

by Doctor Hans Zorkov...

[Eastside Character]

an evil genius, obsessed with ...

[o_loompah_the_delayer]

gummi bears

[HawaiianHobbit]

dipped in cheese

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

and botulism

[Eastside Character]

so anyway

[Beirut]

Dr. Zorkov caled his mutant mother and...

[Eastside Character]

told her

[Somebody Else]

a secret...

[Lord of the morning]

that he never had spoken before

[Beirut]

He said "Mom, I'm really a..."

[Leet Eriksson]

pimp not a doctor...

[Eastside Character]

...but if you like, you can think of me as a doctor of pimpology...

[The Wizard]

who teaches rappers how to pimp it

[Eastside Character]

just like Baby Powder

[antek]

from a man called Johnson

[The Wizard]

who likes to eat chicken

[Beirut]

But then contracted Bird Flu, which he gave to...

[Somebody Else]

Flash Gordon

[-Isapostolos-]

from the show "Blackadder"

[Teutonic Knight]

who said:

http://www.superherophotos.net/serials/flashbc2.jpg

[Demon of Light]

oo ee oo ah ah bing bang walla walla bing bang

[Teutonic Knight]

which in ancient Mayan means

[Demon of Light]

Duck There's a huge piece of metal hurtling towards your head

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

*SPLATCHURGHAAAAAAARGH*

[-Isapostolos-]

which must have hurt alot

[HawaiianHobbit]

except he died instantly

[Demon of Light]

in alot of pain

[makkyo]

except that he wasn't in pain http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/confused.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/tongue.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wacko.gif

[Teutonic Knight]

http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/confused.gif

[makkyo]

(yes... dont resist the deepness)

[Beirut]

the pain was actually a euphoric sense of emotional...

[Somebody Else]

post-modernism

[o_loompah_the_delayer]

post-coital

[Leet Eriksson]

postal intentions..

[Beirut]

in a man who went postal in a...

[Snowhobbit]

a whale

[Knight Keimo]

then he suddenly feel something...

[Snowhobbit]

cold, like a sword in

[The_Emperor]

an unpleasant place

[Snowhobbit]

called

[Teutonic Knight]

HELL http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-devil.gif

[The_Emperor]

that had frozen over

[Teutonic Knight]

and while watching the pigs fly by he

[The_Emperor]

powered by engines from Concorde

[Snowhobbit]

flew beside them when

[Eastside Character]

something happened

[Snowhobbit]

thus

[makkyo]

causing the twenty-third death star to explode.

[makkyo]

which made the sound of

[HawaiianHobbit]

something

[o_loompah_the_delayer]

like Santa's HoHoHo

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

crossed with the ear splitting yodelling

[HawaiianHobbit]

of mayyko

[The_678]

saying

[Beirut]

"Eureka I found it It's a..."

[The_678]

really big

[Snowhobbit]

fish stick

[The_Emperor]

covered with

[Demon of Light]

orange goo

[Snowhobbit]

and

[Somebody Else]

leprechaun entrails

[Snowhobbit]

thus greenpeace

[Teutonic Knight]

sued


Quote[/b] ]leprechaun entrails
and
orange goo
covered with
fish stick
really big
"Eureka I found it It's a..."


ROFL http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-laugh2.gif

[Snowhobbit]

the

[Eastside Character]

government of

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

oceania

[Snowhobbit]

they hired

[The_Emperor]

some mercs

[Snowhobbit]

as they're lawyers

[Eastside Character]

who

[o_loompah_the_delayer]

sued

[Snowhobbit]

tried

[Eastside Character]

to avoid

[Snowhobbit]

any work

[Somebody Else]

like any student

[Snowhobbit]

thus

[Somebody Else]

attaining

[Eastside Character]

only

[-Isapostolos-]

a pile of turquoise chickens

[The Wizard]

Mr. KFC didn't like those...

[ICantSpellDawg]

that

[Eastside Character]

was

[The_678]

not turqoise

[Eastside Character]

but on the other hand

[The_Emperor]

had an unexpected

[thrashaholic]

turn

[Snowhobbit]

of events

[Eastside Character]

resulting in

[The_Emperor]

an explosion

[thrashaholic]

of a great magnitude

[Eastside Character]

which destroyed

[thrashaholic]

the pile of tuquoise chickens

[Eastside Character]

This whole event became later known as

[-Isapostolos-]

the turquoise chicken incident

[The Wizard]

Mr. KFC decided to make a new discount meal out of the now fried turqouise chickens

[Demon of Light]

called

[The_678]

the amazing...

[Somebody Else]

Maurice

[MiniKiller]

Clarrett...

[Snowhobbit]

with special sauce

[Demon of Light]

. Then God Himself

[Eastside Character]

emerged and said

[-Isapostolos-]

turquoise chickens should be treated like all the other chickens, because all beings are equal

[Snowhobbit]

apart from ants

[Eastside Character]

and fleas

[spmetla]

whose 9 1/2 revolvers...

[Snowhobbit]

were too small

[The Wizard]

to shoot elephants

[Crimson Castle]

in their nuts.

[The Wizard]

ouch

[Snowhobbit]

they said

[Knight Keimo]

Let´s do something evil

[Snowhobbit]

so they did

[Somebody Else]

something evil

[The_678]

so very evil

[Snowhobbit]

that

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

its resounding evilness

[Somebody Else]

but descriptions of it's evil would include such words as...

[Beirut]

GAH

[The Wizard]

PIE

[Knight Keimo]

That something what they did, was so evil, that it should not be talked anymore.

[Beirut]

... but we talked about it anyway, because in involved two Smurf puppets and a gallon of

[The Wizard]

ouch

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

That's right folks, a gallon of ouch

[Somebody Else]

manufactured by Macrohard PLC

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

a subsidiary of Acme ouch Inc.

[The_678]

who is owned by...

[antek]

the mexican president

[o_loompah_the_delayer]

and a secret cabal of

[Somebody Else]

mice

[Beirut]

who controlled a bevy of robot cats that ate every single

[Snowhobbit]

banana

[thrashaholic]

in Siberia....

[Somebody Else]

causing untold...

[thrashaholic]

havoc to the....

[Somebody Else]

frozen

[Knight Keimo]

bulk of naked men

[-Isapostolos-]

because

[Somebody Else]

. And now for something completely different...

[Beirut]

A big bowl of caviar took a walk one day and

[thrashaholic]

fell over

[Somebody Else]

due to interference from...

[Snowhobbit]

his friend

[Knight Keimo]

his friendly was so angry that he

[Snowhobbit]

didn't know what to do

[thrashaholic]

apart from....

[o_loompah_the_delayer]

kicking his friend while he was down

[HawaiianHobbit]

on the ground

[Somebody Else]

in the dust

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

out there in the cold, getting lonely, getting old

[-Isapostolos-]

but nobody cared because nobody likes kaviar but rich people

[HawaiianHobbit]

and poor people

[Somebody Else]

who unite

[Teutonic Knight]

grabbed his friend the Mexican President who said:
http://i.timeinc.net/time/poy2000/images/fox.jpg
(Sorry I've been missing all the "Mexican President" cues)

[The_678]

Everybody needs to...

[Teutonic Knight]

"Come Together, ri

[The_678]

ght now"

[Knight Keimo]

and let´s make the world better place to live

[The Wizard]

But then the horse bit him, and he screamed at the top of his lungs:

[Scipio]

in which....(sigh* its been too long since I posted here) http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif

[thrashaholic]

Ouch

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

does my family reside?

[Snowhobbit]

the crowd said

[The Wizard]

"Ouch, that's gotta... [continue sentence please]

[Somebody Else]

sting like a butterfly...

(who said it had to make sense?)

[Teutonic Knight]

which is anorexic

[The_678]

and...

[Teutonic Knight]

meanwhile

[Knight Keimo]

some ugly man

[Teutonic Knight]

was

[The Wizard]

not being pretty

[-Isapostolos-]

while he crapped coco nuts

[The Wizard]

ouch

[o_loompah_the_delayer]

This clogged up the toilet

[Teutonic Knight]

with


(where the hell are you guys going with this http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-inquisitive.gif )

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

an explosive mixture of semtex, acid and cookie dough

[o_loompah_the_delayer]

But customs and excise officers came and

[Somebody Else]

imprisoned a moderator named...

[HawaiianHobbit]

A.Saturnus,

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

the infamous and notorious

[Scipio]

and due to his imprisonment a war struck up betwean the Austrians and the English

[TheSilverKnight]

which resulted in

[Scipio]

some very cute french women clad in lace to jump and cheer for the English for some readon http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/confused.gif

[TheSilverKnight]

so the English looked over, and started staring at the women, going "Cor blimey"

[Scipio]

and they took the women back to england in hopes of making England renown for their hot anglo-french women http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/smokin.gif

[TheSilverKnight]

so Horatio Hornblower, the Governer General of British Africa

[Scipio]

SIGH* (Horatio again huh) handed out free lolipops to all the french girls who came to Englan. Which is a win win I mean more women sucking on lolipops http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/eek.gif

[TheSilverKnight]

and my son, 6 year old Prince George said "Pop, why are all those comely ladies sucking on lollies?"

[Scipio]

Sigh* must I tell him again "It is for the good of the empire, cousin"

[TheSilverKnight]

and then he said "But why?"
to which I replied "To strengthen Anglo-French relations, Son"

[Scipio]

And so every where you went around England their were jolly faces http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

[TheSilverKnight]

and as the soldiers marched by to go fight Austria

[Scipio]

The Anglo-french girls found they could be good use for the English army "morale"

[TheSilverKnight]

so TheSilverKnight (The King of England, me), Scipio (King of Canada), and Horatio (Gov. Gen. of Africa), decided to tag along also

[Scipio]

What better excuse then to fight as heros and get a view from above the battlefield

[TheSilverKnight]

"Above?" said I, "Why shouldn't we fight alongside all these pretty women?"

[Scipio]

James King of Canada was in no position to argue

[TheSilverKnight]

as Horatio, laid back as usual, sat in a lawnchair urging the ladies on against the Austrians

[Scipio]

The Austrians had one dis-advantage;

[TheSilverKnight]

their taste for women. As they advanced, hoping to meet lovely sweet French women, they instead met a wall of bullets.

[Scipio]

In which all they could here was "our bodies are only for those of noble birth you scum"

[TheSilverKnight]

"Like the King of England and his accomplises" the women said.
The Austrians lay groaning in pain and sadness

[Scipio]

They shoved their asses just close enough to drive the Austrians mad http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/mecry.gif

[TheSilverKnight]

as King James of Canada choked on his drink while laughing

[Scipio]

and Horatios lawn chair snapped back as he bolted up with joy

[TheSilverKnight]

and I jeered at the Austrians laughing madly, and then something horrible happened...

[Scipio]

the pope exiled....

[TheSilverKnight]

himself

[Scipio]

and http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-2thumbsup.gif became the new pope

[TheSilverKnight]

and upon the news, Horatio dropped his beer and cried for 8 minutes http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/eek.gif

[Scipio]

and a french maid came to see what was the matter

[TheSilverKnight]

as Horatio stopped, and put on his charm, in which the French maid responded by

[Scipio]

http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-2thumbsup.gif

[TheSilverKnight]

in which King James and King Chris responded by looking awestruck that Horatio could get a hot French maid http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-stunned.gif

[Scipio]

and so they responded by...

[TheSilverKnight]

going to see the Queen of France and her daughter, by which King James got the Queen's daughter, Anna

[Scipio]

http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/cheers.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-2thumbsup.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-2thumbsup.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/cheers.gif

[TheSilverKnight]

and the Queen took me to Versailles, where we partied all night http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/cheers.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/cheers.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/bigthumb.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/bigthumb.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/cheers.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/cheers.gif By partied, I mean listening to music, and dancing

[Scipio]

when the sun rose http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-dizzy2.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-dizzy2.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-dizzy2.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-dizzy2.gif

[TheSilverKnight]

the Queen and I had massive hangovers

[Scipio]

and all Horatio had to say to the maid was "wtf m8?"

[Knight Keimo]

And so you guys stopped behaving badly

[-Isapostolos-]

and Scipio and TheSilverKnight were executed on sight. Somehow the othodox patriarch got involved

[Snowhobbit]

with a donkey

[Somebody Else]

and a rubber

[Teutonic Knight]

latex

[Duke Malcolm]

lump of cheese

[-Isapostolos-]

with which he once again tried to murder the pope with by

[Somebody Else]

launching it from

[-Isapostolos-]

his mouth into

[The_Emperor]

his left ear

[Somebody Else]

where

[The_Emperor]

it left a bleeding wound

[Knight Keimo]

and

[o_loompah_the_delayer]

some blue fungus

[The_678]

and some green fungus

[HawaiianHobbit]

, to get rid of it he

[makkyo]

told a fellow clergyman to

[HawaiianHobbit]

smear

[Teutonic Knight]

it on his protestant brothers and sisters who

[The_Emperor]

started a war

[-Isapostolos-]

against the pope

[Somebody Else]

in

[Snowhobbit]

China

[Knight Keimo]

war was brutal and ...