1 Word Story

[Scipio]

as we commenced the raiding we found

[TheSilverKnight]

large stores of treasure

[Scipio]

and cigarretes

[TheSilverKnight]

as Horatio yelled "God blimey", the French were positioning guns to attack us

[Scipio]

luckli Ghandi came running in with a colt python

[TheSilverKnight]

but was blown apart by a cannon

[Scipio]

but of coarse the french saw that Sk was wearing his napoleon hat still and rejoiced at the rebirth of theire dictator

[TheSilverKnight]

and Hornblower got a marvelous idea and ordered Scipio to put on his Napoleon Hat also. Hornblower looked dashing in his Napoleon hat

[Scipio]

and the foolish french gave us all theire ciggerettes and treassure and we smoked till the day was old

[TheSilverKnight]

laughing and joking of times gone past

[Scipio]

and when a new day commenced they started the rebuilding of the new ENGLISH speaking France where there was a statue of the three great

[TheSilverKnight]

rulers: Horatio Hornblower, ruler of Northern and North-Eastern France, SilverKnight, ruler of Central and Eastern France, and Scipio, ruler of Southern and South-eastern France

[Scipio]

So now they had to unite the rest of the world to speak english

[TheSilverKnight]

Hornblower set about leading the Royal Navy to capture South America, but met with fierce resistance

[Scipio]

So he just nuked them and rebuilt the place with a statue of him

[TheSilverKnight]

"King Horatio I of South America", the statue's engraving said

[Scipio]

And James made a statue in north america that read James king I of North America

[TheSilverKnight]

a revolt led by Dessa in Australia almost crushed Hornblower's Army in the Battle of Dessaland, but the Army of Horatio won, and Australia was conquered

[Scipio]

Dessa like Hannibe was a foe to go down in history as one of the biggest threats but unlike Hannible wasnt able to kill himself instead

[TheSilverKnight]

Hornblower's Army soon conquered all of South Africa up to Congo, which he refused to conquer because of Ebola Virus

[Scipio]

so he decided the only way was to force dessa to decontaminate the place using only a vacume and his tung(start licken) http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/tongue.gif

[TheSilverKnight]

so Dessa caught Ebola Virus (where his organs turn to liquid blood and he died..poor Dessa..), and Hornblower's Armies were attacked by vicious Gorillas

[Scipio]

luckilly the gorrilla warriors took in all the ebola virus and we were never harmed but we had to dump theire bodies in space for fear of contamination

[TheSilverKnight]

and a siege which lasted 5 hours, on the town of Cangotawanakajimaopolipopolis (not a real town) cost the lives of several thousands of ants, 11 of Horatio's Soldiers, and one horseman

[Scipio]

but at the end all were happy and another 3 person statue was built

[TheSilverKnight]

every place conquered had the three-person statue holding the King's Colours, and the person who conquered the area had the largest portion of the statue

[Scipio]

And now they had to choose a capital

[TheSilverKnight]

Horatio chose Brest, in France, as his capitol.
King Chris took London (of course)

[Scipio]

And James acting as a true Vancouverite chose VANCOUVEr as the capital of N.A.

[TheSilverKnight]

Dessa swore alliegance to Horatio, and promised to pay him a yearly sum of money, to which Horatio was delighted

[Scipio]

And James announced that no cars where to be used in NA due to pollution and that only tv computer health and food related electronicks could be used

[TheSilverKnight]

Horatio announced the formation of the Horatioan Navy, which patrolled the seas and protected shipping of North America, Great Britain, and the Horatioan Empire

[Scipio]

James followed up by asking his fellow Emperors to make 3 wonders in there part of the world

[TheSilverKnight]

so Horatio built "The Golden Orb", a statue of him holding the imperial sceptre of Rome and wearing gartered robes of the Greeks

[Scipio]

James built the Parthenon the coliseum and a mansion that was identical to ancient roman mansions

[TheSilverKnight]

King Chris built "The Tribute to his Fellow Conquerors", a statue of Horatio, James, and Chris in Napoleonic Dress, holding swords, and looking proudly northwards

[Scipio]

and finaly James said that we must build a huge statue where we combine our arts into the mega-capital of the world and he asked where should we put the worlds capital where we can have anual discussions about our pzart of the wiorld

[TheSilverKnight]

Horatio suggested Brest, Chris suggested London

[Scipio]

And James agreed nobily to London

[TheSilverKnight]

Horatio agreed also, and in March, the first 3 Emperors Meeting was arranged in London, where tea and biscuits were served, along with classical music to accompany the discussions http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif

[Scipio]

and so after enough people had been nuked and enough languages removed the world was finally at peace

[TheSilverKnight]

except for one problem: A major revolt in Australia led by Dessa's Son against Horatio. Horatio had very few men after quelling Australia, and was desperately in need of help

[Scipio]

Buteveryone was short of weapons so James suggested that we went with pilum and the latest legionary army

[TheSilverKnight]

Horatio and Chris looked at James, and then said at the same time "No"

[Scipio]

it was worth a try m8

[TheSilverKnight]

Horatio then said: "I have some new muskets in New Zealand. Maybe we could fly there and outfit them on some men"

[Scipio]

And James said "as the far decendant of Scipio you can go with guns but the mounted police ride with pilum

[TheSilverKnight]

Horatio looked at James and cocked one eyebrow..
"Yeah...you do that.."

[Scipio]

lol so as Dessa took the feild he brought out the guns and strted firing and was succeeding until James' outflank manoeuvre went succesfully and he suprised Dessa

p.s. When is this guy gunna die? http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif

[TheSilverKnight]

p.s.: NEVER http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif
As Hornblower's men advanced the front, Hornblower himself was shot down, unconcious (here's where the drama begins) http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/eek.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/shock.gif

[Scipio]

dessa was expecting a full out gun battle but he was in for a suprise

[TheSilverKnight]

as the British Royal Horse Guards rode him down, but one of them almost ran over Hornblower

[Scipio]

the aussies did not give up but kept the fight until James recalled his men and went into the triplex acies

[TheSilverKnight]

but then Hornblower regained conciousness and won the battle

[Scipio]

this was regarded as the wierdest battle of history

[Snowhobbit]

and

[TheSilverKnight]

Dessa cried for five minutes

[gaelic cowboy]

because hale berry was the sexiest woman in the world according to the holy FHM bible

[Snowhobbit]

when

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

the somewhat bizarre 2-man napoleonic high-jack of the one word story http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/dizzy.gif

[Snowhobbit]

charged

[BDC]

but fell off a cliff because this was the movie not the book

[Snowhobbit]

and

[BDC]

made it back to Helms Deep in time to be shot to bits by some advancing Napoleonic infantry lead by

[Snowhobbit]

an egghead

[Skidrowpunk]

with two fellow companions named

[Snowhobbit]

Usama and

[Skidrowpunk]

El Burro.

[Snowhobbit]

And

[Skidrowpunk]

the carrot went "Cowabunga" and said: It never goes away

[Snowhobbit]

with ( can you please answer my PM )

[LittleGrizzly]

a big

[Snowhobbit]

voice

[Skidrowpunk]

. Snowhobbit shrugged

[Antalis::]

and

[Skidrowpunk]

sang to the tones of the french national anthem.

[Scipio]

wich utterly

[Snowhobbit]

sounded

[MongolWarrior]

like

[MongolWarrior]

A dog

[MongolWarrior]

caught in

[MongolWarrior]

a folding

[MongolWarrior]

lawn chair(Gah)

[Sir Moody]

and with this awful sound

[Snowhobbit]

he

[Sir Moody]

was able to rout mankind

[Snowhobbit]

and

[BDC]

win the chalice of chastity but he then realised

[Snowhobbit]

that

[Teutonic Knight]

the ladies

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

liked a bit of

[MongolWarrior]

The Hulk( http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif )

[The_Emperor]

on viagra

[Skidrowpunk]

. The somewhat sarcastic squirrel

[The_Emperor]

taunted the Hulk

[Scipio]

so much that

[Leet Eriksson]

he made the squirrel into a pancake and..

[Teutonic Knight]

he had an

(must start with a vowel, preferably "e")

[Scipio]

Epileptic Seizure(does that suit your needs TK?) http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/tongue.gif

[TheSilverKnight]

which caused Hornblower to

[Scipio]

have a fit

[TheSilverKnight]

because mud got on his pants

[Scipio]

so he

[TheSilverKnight]

slapped his

[Scipio]

agent

[TheSilverKnight]

for not making mud-proof pants

[Scipio]

meanwhile

[TheSilverKnight]

Scipio conquered Mexico and began a long war with the US

[Scipio]

wich caused Silver Knight

[TheSilverKnight]

and Horatio Hornblower

[Scipio]

to go

[TheSilverKnight]

to the aid of Scipio

[Scipio]

which

[TheSilverKnight]

caused a stir in Hornblower's parliament

[Scipio]

so he

[TheSilverKnight]

killed a spy who tried to kill him

[Scipio]

and then

[TheSilverKnight]

a bell rang out because it was Scipio's birthday

[dessa14]

but then a man in black came up and smacked the two spammers in the head with a brick

[Scipio]

wich was a made a huge(next word starts with Ho

[TheSilverKnight]

Horatio Hornblower Crisis (hey, it starts with HO http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/tongue.gif ), and Horatio slammed Dessa on the back of the head with a large pie

[TheSilverKnight]

so only Horatio and SilverKnight got slammed

[Scipio]

wich was also declared a holiday

[TheSilverKnight]

and the other 2 emperors got their own holidays, and Dessa got his own: "Dessa Day", where everyone burns fabric dolls that look like Dessa in a blue dress http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/tongue.gif

[Scipio]

And dessa meanwhile was locked in a big prison especially forhim

[TheSilverKnight]

in which Horatio had the pleasure of whipping him

[Scipio]

Dessa was sentenced

[TheSilverKnight]

to five years of gas-chamber

[Scipio]

no to mention

[TheSilverKnight]

he gets to play knife games...with the guards http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

[Scipio]

wich he always

[TheSilverKnight]

enjoyed to some extent

[Scipio]

until

[TheSilverKnight]

Horatio Hornblower directed the games

[Scipio]

and Haratio

[TheSilverKnight]

grinned in delight and went to go watch Welsh Television shows http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif

[Scipio]

with

[TheSilverKnight]

Pobol Y Cym on, he couldn't miss the new episode

[Scipio]

after it was over

[TheSilverKnight]

he came back to find

[Scipio]

dessa

[TheSilverKnight]

had vomited

[Scipio]

all over

[TheSilverKnight]

the guards

[Scipio]

so horatio

[TheSilverKnight]

slapped Dessa with a glove

[Scipio]

and told him

[TheSilverKnight]

I challenge you to a duel..but I must win

[Scipio]

so dessa foolishly accepted

[TheSilverKnight]

and was defeated because of tiredness

[Scipio]

So this day was made a ho....

[TheSilverKnight]

Horatio Hornblower Holiday (triple H), one of the 10 he already has named after him

[Scipio]

the other including

[TheSilverKnight]

Navy Day, Horatio Hornblower in Africa Day, Conqueror Day, Liberator Day, and so on

[Scipio]

But Sk and Scipio felt cheated out so they made

[TheSilverKnight]

2 more holidays for themselves, England Day, and Canada Day

[Scipio]

but they couldnt make it Canada day because that alredy exists so they called it

[TheSilverKnight]

Scipio Day

[Scipio]

and everybody

[TheSilverKnight]

was happy

[Scipio]

except

[TheSilverKnight]

for Dessa

[Scipio]

but that didnt bother Scipio and SK

[TheSilverKnight]

and Horatio Hornblower

[Scipio]

because they are on top of the world (metaphorically and literally speaking)

[Efrem Da King]

Until of course they weren't

[Snowhobbit]

down

[The_Emperor]

because

[MongolWarrior]

A meteor hit the earth and killed everyone except Dessa. http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

[MongolWarrior]

So Dessa

[MongolWarrior]

turned into

[MongolWarrior]

Michael Jackson http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/shock.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/shock.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/shock.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/shock.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/shock.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/shock.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/shock.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/shock.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/shock.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/shock.gif

[Snowhobbit]

and

[Skidrowpunk]

the little guinea pig did

[The_Emperor]

something very nasty in his bed

[Teutonic Knight]

that involved

(let us never let this thread get that far down on the page again http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/eek.gif )

[Leet Eriksson]

Micheal Jackson and some kid...

[TheSilverKnight]

against Horatio Hornblower

[Scipio]

it wasnt

[Teutonic Knight]

a big old

(are you completely obsessed with HH TSN?)

[TheSilverKnight]

Quote[/b] (Teutonic Knight @ Dec. 09 2003,21:04)]a big old

(are you completely obsessed with HH TSN?)
(@ TK: Yes I am http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif )

wart

[Efrem Da King]

However.

[Snowhobbit]

an

[Efrem Da King]

monkey

[The Wizard]

going to Spongebob Squarepants

[TheSilverKnight]

attacked

[Paxx]

the

[Sir Moody]

New York Times Building

[Skidrowpunk]

with a kazoo

[Sir Moody]

bursting

[Scipio]

its

[Snowhobbit]

windows

[Skidrowpunk]

with a radical method of being such an ugly kazoo

[Snowhobbit]

when

[Skidrowpunk]

a satanistic group (weren't you supposed to work??)

[Snowhobbit]

decided (All work and no play is sooooooo boring) http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

[The Wizard]

to disect some frogs that were actually princes

[Teutonic Knight]

Quote[/b] (Efrem Da King @ Dec. 10 2003,04:06)]e-monkey
("an" must be followed by a vowel&#33http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif

[Dhepee]

Quote[/b] (Wizzy @ Dec. 10 2003,14:32)]to disect some frogs that were actually princes
but the princes

[Demon of Light]

was run over by the Governor of South Dakota.

[Dhepee]

who was wearing

[Teutonic Knight]

something skanky and revealing that showed

[Dhepee]

a tattoo of

[Teutonic Knight]

a very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very large

[Sir Moody]

picture of Dessa doing

[Dhepee]

the funky chicken

[Teutonic Knight]

with a a very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very large woman named

[Scipio]

Isla

[Sir Moody]

Von

[Scipio]

this incriminating photo was posted on

[TheSilverKnight]

"The Royal Navy Forums", where Scipio and SilverKnight found it

[Scipio]

and laughed for about

[TheSilverKnight]

25 minutes

[Scipio]

wich wasnt half as long as

[Sir Moody]

the time we laughed at scipios

[Scipio]

the laugh at scipio was of coarse in recognition for his hard work for office http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

[TheSilverKnight]

and Horatio Hornblower choked on a doughnut

[Scipio]

wich was a choke showing that he respected scipio(while he started to hork all the doughnut out)

[Teutonic Knight]

who was thinking that while Horatio Hornblower is an incredible piece of literature, TheSilverKnight should stop talking about it...

[dessa14]

but then dessa snuck up behind both Silverknight and Scipio and SMACK off goes both of their heads with shattered neck vertebrate dessa stood there triumphant with his bloody kookaburra cricket bat.

[Snowhobbit]

when

[Dhepee]

Dessa realized that he was in the wrong spam thread, this is 1 Word Story not Tavern Brawl, and gave his cricket bat to

[Snowhobbit]

snowhobbit

[The Wizard]

upon which he smashed Horatio Hornblower into oblivion

[Snowhobbit]

and

[Dhepee]

removed

[Snowhobbit]

George W Bush

[Dhepee]

and

[Scipio]

went on to

[Dhepee]

smell

[Scipio]

a horrible

[Dhepee]

stench of

[Snowhobbit]

candy

[Dhepee]

rotting

[Snowhobbit]

and

[Dhepee]

tulips

[Snowhobbit]

thus

[Dhepee]

proving

[Matt Deckard]

lighter fuel

[Dhepee]

and a bowl of cherries

[Matt Deckard]

can provide you with

[Snowhobbit]

many

[Matt Deckard]

dreams which

[Snowhobbit]

concure

[Matt Deckard]

that lemmings

[scudknight]

defacate

[Dhepee]

before they jump

[Snowhobbit]

and

[Matt Deckard]

liquify

[Snowhobbit]

a