1 Word Story

[JohnCee]

when he wasn't

[Mori Zennousha]

rehearsing

[some_totalwar_dude]

on his 350lb guitar

[Monk]

for a(n)

[Matt Deckard]

concert called "how Samurai-ninja_fusion_of_doom spammed to get his 300th post"

[Mori Zennousha]

which was an immediate fan favorite... http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif

[FesterShinetop]

of all Kikkoman loving

[Monk]

people on the earth.

[Demon of Light]

Just then,

[Mori Zennousha]

an unusually

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

rotund bee

[Mori Zennousha]

with a thyroid imbalance http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/rolleyes.gif

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

and a gastric

[Demon of Light]

iflammation

[Mori Zennousha]

, decended upon

[Nowake]

You people just don't get bored, huh? http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif

[FesterShinetop]

you people. "Just don't get bored, huh"

(I adjusted prfire's entry somewhat)

[Brutal DLX]

said

[FesterShinetop]

Brutal DLX, while

[some_totalwar_dude]

Apache yelled

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

for calm, being a

[Mori Zennousha]

bit of a(n)

[Matt Deckard]

wimple (thats right a nuns hat is what he is )

[Demon of Light]

Apache then ordered

[Monk]

5,000

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

kinky cardboard

[FesterShinetop]

Ninjas

[Monk]

for the purpose of

[Brutal DLX]

burning

[some_totalwar_dude]

roast beef

[JohnCee]

Sandwiches

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

in the ancient

[Lord De Moray]

wok

[some_totalwar_dude]

wakkawa

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

of some_totalwar_dude'snonsense words( http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif )

[Monk]

. Meanwhile in Egypt

( http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif )

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

Saddam Hussein (hey, what the hell, it's been ages since either him or Ol' George showed up.)

[Monk]

called down a UFO (oh boy its getting weird http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif )

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

to assist him in

[Monk]

obtaining ice cream

(lol Big King, were just going back and forth from these one word threads)

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

for his dastardly (*News just in-Monk and Big King hijack thread* http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif )

[Monk]

plan to make all the US soldiers have teeth problems,

(oh 500 so close yet so far )

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

as the notorious(Soldiers don't floss? http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif )

[Monk]

camels arrived

(hmm maybe that is their one weakness http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif )

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

to wreak(Now we can rule the world Quake US Army, with your poor dental hygeine&#33http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif

[Monk]

havoc with their horrible smell. (the x2 spam is to much for them http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif )

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

and spitting ability(We, are the Spampions, my frieeeeend...)

[Lord De Moray]

due to unwashed bodies, (Sadam having stolen all the soap in a covert raid)

[Monk]

many ran for their lives

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

in anticipation of

[Monk]

King and Monk's Domination of

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

everything, as they were so

[Monk]

atuned to the Ways of Spam

(500 w00t) http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

and fantastically avatared-up(Nice one M8&#33http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif

[Monk]

that nobody opposed them

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

or even dared to

[Monk]

look at them

[some_totalwar_dude]

except a mighty horde of pringels

[Monk]

that met them on the field of battle

[some_totalwar_dude]

Big King Sanctaphrax, Monk and some_totalwar_dude faced off against the pringle horde

[Brutal DLX]

of

[Demon of Light]

mayhem (Monk: I think Tachikaze will want to have a word with you about that avatar...)

[FesterShinetop]

But alas...

[JohnCee]

no-one had brought any salsa

[some_totalwar_dude]

so they went to k-markt

[JohnCee]

but on the way

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

they lost their

[Monk]

hats of

(...ok so i change it)

[Matt Deckard]

Bahamut

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

's testicles

[Monk]

. Now hatless, they decided to

[some_totalwar_dude]

fight the pringels anyway

[jones21]

but the pringels were really giant apes in suits

[Monk]

who hated bananas

[jones21]

and loved strippers

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

and pilau rice

[Brutal DLX]

.So

[Dramicus]

something...

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

gesticulated wildly

[FesterShinetop]

in front of

[Monk]

a Tree

[some_totalwar_dude]

It was soly http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/tongue.gif

[Demon of Light]

(Demon of Light tiredly shoots some_totalwar_dude for saying the forbidden name. Some_totalwar_dude's quota for getting shot at least once a month is now filled.)

[Brutal DLX]

not

[some_totalwar_dude]

but it was

(d@mn my sings full http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif)

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

an insultingly puerile

[Monk]

Smiley fighting Darth Vadar

(that took some time to think of http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif )
(*points to Big king's Sig* http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif )

[chilliwilli]

that

[some_totalwar_dude]

was located at big kings sing

[Monk]

. Having discovered this some_totalwar_dude

[FesterShinetop]

ordered his smilies

[Monk]

from a lost warehouse in

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

darkest Czechoslovakia

[FesterShinetop]

to charge

[Demon of Light]

once more into the breach.

[Matt Deckard]

but there they run into smiley the merciless and his dual katanas.

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

Luke Smilewalker dived into the fray

[FesterShinetop]

"It is my destiny", he shouted, while

[The_Emperor]

his shoes were tied together

[some_totalwar_dude]

making him unable to walk for the rest of his life

[FesterShinetop]

. But Luke was still able

[Monk]

to slice Monk in half...so he did,

[some_totalwar_dude]

so monk died http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/tongue.gif

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

with his last breath uttering the words

[Monk]

"Im not dead"

[some_totalwar_dude]

everybody cheered in happynis: The prophet of spam is alive spread the word

[Monk]

"No he is dead" shouted Luke

edit: added italics

[Demon of Light]

"No, I'm feeling much better" said Monk

[some_totalwar_dude]

Shut up your dead

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

I can't take him away in that condition

[some_totalwar_dude]

*shoots monk* There now you can take him away..
*shoots himself*

[Monk]

and Monk died for the second time

(remember i fell from that UFO back on page 174 ) http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

[some_totalwar_dude]

everybody was sad.... wel not everybody..... and maby some others to..... so ok maby a few people where sad...... ok ONE person was sad ONE.... allright everybody was happy....

(uhm... nope *reads page 174...* oh yeah IRC http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif )

[chilliwilli]

But the sad part was that

[FesterShinetop]

Monk found out that life after death...

Edit: Oops too slow... http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

[some_totalwar_dude]

witch was sooooooooooooo much worse than on earth

[Monk]

Monk found himself in a great hole, the souls of many dead people around him in constant torment and there upon a hill over looking the green tented flames was Hades. God of the underworld

(sorry but i had alote to say http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/tongue.gif )

[some_totalwar_dude]

Monk screamed in fear when hades told him beer costs 2,50 dollar a glas.

[Monk]

so Monk challenged him to battle for the Underworld

[Demon of Light]

Hades agreed and put his Helm of Invisibility on. (In Greek mythology, Hades really did have one of these)

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

Monk countered with IR goggles, and battle was joined

[Matt Deckard]

But hades used an EMP 'nade, and screamed "charlies goggles dont work no more, man"

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

Monk responded with an M249 SAW, spraying 5.56MM fire at Hades

[Matt Deckard]

But bullets hurt hades not, and hades responded with 12 LAWs tied together. causes potential mega-death.

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

Monk fled to the White House, and ordered a strategic Nuke strike.

[FesterShinetop]

but the white house ran out of nukes

(like that is ever gonna happen... http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif )

Edit: just checked and this is my 50th addition to the one-word-story (which of course isn't really a one word story anymore).

I'd like to thank my mother, my girlfriend, my producer and agent and of course my teachers in 1st grade who made this all possible... http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

[Divine Wind]

, and this led Monk to order

[Mori Zennousha]

a Big Mac

[LordTed]

Vegetable sales royale

[some_totalwar_dude]

witch scared the sht out of Hades

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

causing him to panic

[some_totalwar_dude]

And drop of a clif

[Monk]

"well that was easy"

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

proclaimed the victorious Spam Prophet

[Monk]

who was now God of the Underworld.

( http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif what are the odds? http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif )

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

. The .Org patrons abased themselves before the dark god

[Monk]

but there was one who opposed him named

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

the Dread moderator, DEATH OF WORLDS(Remember him?)

[Monk]

who led the Great Armies of the .Org

(must have been before my time http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif )

[JohnCee]

to victory in a line dancing competition

(could happen... http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/shock.gif )

[Mori Zennousha]

emcee'd by Kid Rock w/ very special guest, Bob Dylan

[Brutal DLX]

who

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

played a two minute kick-ass guitar solo

[JohnCee]

using only

[Monk]

his right foot

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

and a small but aggresive poodle

[Matt Deckard]

The poodle played the guitar with his teeth

[Monk]

and it was good.

[The_Emperor]

until he tried to

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

play 'Hotel California'

[Oaty]

and found out he could'nt check out

[Demon of Light]

Zeus, seeing Hades defeat, slew Bob Dylan with a thunderbolt as DEATH_OF_WORLDS

[FesterShinetop]

ran for cover

[Demon of Light]

. Zeus then slew Kid Rock with a thunderbolt as DEATH_OF_WORLDS

[JohnCee]

but tripped over the poodle

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

causing a 3-way

[some_totalwar_dude]

eruption of mount Vesuvius

[The_Emperor]

as he ran towards it

[some_totalwar_dude]

he got boiled in lava

[JohnCee]

which also popped the corn he had in his pocket

(Mmmm popcorn http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wacko.gif )

[Monk]

Monk laughed evily and took the pop corn

(i may have been defeated, but i still want some pop corn http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif )

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

"SALT" Cried Monk "Salt"

[JohnCee]

but all anyone had was butter

[Monk]

Monk then disapeared into the Earth

(Back to the underworld before Zeus realizes im out http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif )

[JohnCee]

deprived of their prophet the armies of Spam lost all faith and prepared a spree

[some_totalwar_dude]

And a BBQ using the lava to warm up the meat

[FesterShinetop]

but of course it started to rain

(hate it when that happens...)

[Demon of Light]

. The rain caused

[JohnCee]

steam when it hit the lava

[FesterShinetop]

ruining the sausages

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

and angering the mighty

[some_totalwar_dude]

crazy monkey sales person

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

who released the afore-mentioned monkeys

[Monk]

suddenly Thor appeared

[FesterShinetop]

"What are all this monkeys doing here??"

[Monk]

Thor shouted as he held up his hammer

[JohnCee]

But one of the monkeys stole the hammer and became MONKEYTHOR

[FesterShinetop]

monkeythor summoned some more monkeys and

[some_totalwar_dude]

and flufy bunnys

[JohnCee]

to help him smite

[Sigurd]

the hammerless Thor

[Demon of Light]

Zeus came to Thor's aid by

[Brutal DLX]

train

[the Black Prince]

and cursed monkeythor with a

[JohnCee]

-n itchy bottom

[some_totalwar_dude]

scrotterum http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/shock.gif

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

screamed a pudgy

[Monk]

minion of

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/angry.gif , the angry smiley.

[Monk]

but then Monk reapeared out of the Earth

(what now? http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/rolleyes.gif ) http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif

[Matt Deckard]

with a molten sword o' flames

[Monk]

he Smited the MunkyThor then

[Matt Deckard]

Chucked the sword on the floor as he only just realised how hot it is

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

Monk, clutching his burnt hand,

[Monk]

put on the Helm of Invincibility.

[JohnCee]

and went looking for bandages

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

His fourth degree burns

[JohnCee]

were really ruining his tennis game

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

and he had an upcoming Match against Henman

[JohnCee]

so he wasn't too worried about playing left handed

("tiger" tim my rear)

[Demon of Light]

Zeus, puzzled by the turn of events,

[FesterShinetop]

called his mother

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

a brazen hussy

[FesterShinetop]

"Mom they're teasing me" he cried

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

Big Mamma Zeus stood up

[FesterShinetop]

hopped on her broomstick

[Monk]

and slaped Monk in the head

(hmmm Zues and Hades were Brothers, i killed Hades by droping him off a cliff in the Underworld. and nobody is mad http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif )

[FesterShinetop]

, but Monk of course likes a good slapping, so...

[Demon of Light]

Mama Zeus impaled him instead

[the Black Prince]

and stuck his head on a

[ShadeFlanders]

big strawberry pie...

[FesterShinetop]

with nuts

[the Black Prince]

and peanut butter (hey it doesn't have to be a nice pie&#33http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif

[some_totalwar_dude]

mixed with pepsi cola

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

and a truly grotesque picture of me

[Sainika]

Suddenly

[Efrem Da King]

morphs

[Sainika]

raised

[Sigurd]

all that have died in this thread (morphs being a necromancer)

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

The horrific zombies

[Efrem Da King]

ran away

[Sainika]

screaming "help us, we don't want to DIE" http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif

[Sainika]

again http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif

[Monk]

They didnt get far as

[some_totalwar_dude]

the where destroyed by an army of

[Monk]

angry sword wielding Monks

( http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif sorry couldn't resist ) http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

[Matt Deckard]

the sword wielding monks were beaten iinto submission by

[Monk]

a horde of

[DemonArchangel]

screaming children wielding 500 pound meatcleavers

[Matt Deckard]

. After "sorting" the sword wielders, samurai-ninja_fusion_of_doom drove by with one of those magnet crane things, sucked up all the meat cleavers, then dropped them on the chickens heads

[Monk]

for no reason at all

[Matt Deckard]

Drunk with bloodlust, samurai grabbed his two katanas, hopped in his time machine. and travelled to (you guessed it) the 60's. There he met(and slashed) some hippies, but had to quickly escape from the rozzas

[Monk]

which followed him back through the time portal

(awefully long short phrases Ninja http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif )

[Matt Deckard]

but guarding the time portal was monk - ARMED TO THE TEETH

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

WITH SEX TOYS

[the Black Prince]

and ready for action

[LeeJackson]

Then came the lesbians.

[the Black Prince]

geez thought monk, this is

[Monk]

...nice.... http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

Edit: lol sorry couldn't resist http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wave.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif

[LeeJackson]

Then a tractor trailer filled with baby oil crashes and spilled over the gathered mob.

*last risqué post... for awhile any way http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif*

[Demon of Light]

Jesus Christ (Here's your chance to buy your ticket to hell, folks. Just step right up post something wrong...if you dare)

[Sainika]

saw all what was happening on Earth and
http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif

[Efrem Da King]

Partied hard.

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

His divine boogie

[Efrem Da King]

was

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

causing a Saturday night

[Demon of Light]

(Hah I knew someone could be tempted into damnation&#33http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif

[the Black Prince]

saturday night... sex explosion

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

Sexed up Jesus proceeded

[Efrem Da King]

and